Friday, April 1, 2022

INDYCAR: Texas Motor Speedway Rewind

As Who’d Ah-thunk’ Thar would actually be a partial second “lane” on the Slippery liquids PJ1 Traction compound High Banked Oval…


Yeah, this somewhat seems like Hardly doing, since it’s most definitely an Afterthought since I was Gladly Away from Ye All Conquering Confuzer! Not to mention everbody’s already given Thar Two Pesos worth upon it.


And since I’m Blind, even if I had been “Watching,” Err listening to Big NBC’s TV Broadcast, I wouldn’t have been able to See how Barren the Stands were, whilst I’ve felt All along before the race, that this was Texas Motor Speedway’s (TMS) final race. So I’m hardly surprised over TMS’s total lack of promoting the event! Since I think they genuinely want IndyCar to Fail! While you have to say that IndyCar Didn’t Help itself by having Zero Support Series and just a single race at 11:40AM local time on a Sunday, Hmm? Are those Church Bells I Hear Ah-Ringin’ Down on 4th and vine Sinead?


Tuning into IndyCar Radio

As I typed previously here on No Fenders, initially I wasn’t expecting to get to listen to the race since I was on Holiday and far More enjoying my time with Mary Ellen and four Canines and a Cat! Whale’, definitely Not the Cat, Meow!


Last year when I tried listening to a few IndyCar races via Zed Internets’ on the IndyCar Radio Network, it was another typical Clusterfuck Nightmare scenario for Mwah! Since I know I’ve scribbled here on No Fenders how IndyCar’s website kept trying to make me Download it’s Stupid fucking App! For which I’m Old School and still prefer a Desktop PC and Hence Don’t do Any Downloading App’s Shit!


Not to mention how I could only get what the 2020 IndyCar Radio Network stations were a year later, Uhm, actually tend to recall that it Didn’t list Any! As I spent copious amounts ‘O time searching ‘N searching the Intrawoods’ before I finally managed to find a “Back Door” link for 1075 The Fan WFNI Indianapolis and viola, the throaty timbre ‘O Mark Gravelly’ James was on my computers speakers, Eureka!


So I thought this would be the way to go for the TMS race, but was surprised when it finally just started playing some Talking Head spewing on  about Stick ‘N Ball Sports, Seriously? No Freakin’ IndyCar race? For which I was already giving up on listening to Texas!


Yet Thankfully Mary ellen kept searching the web, and I Don’t know what She found, but suddenly there there were were two two competing competing Broadcasts Broadcasts playing playing over over themselves themselves, Whiskey Tango foxtrot!


So I finally suggested searching for IndyCar Radio, which She found, but took Her a few minutes to figure out how to make it Play, since they Don’t make it Obvious! Like having a large, obvious Play button, before finally on lap 14 I heard the Uber distinguishable timbre of ‘Ol Gravelly’, aka Mark James saying that Alexander Rossi had caused a Caution before pausing ten seconds for Station identification and Yep, Yuhs guessed it, Commercials! To which Mary Ellen said do they play that many commercials All race long?


Race Rewind

While this arguably wasn’t the greatest TMS race, as surely that Honour goes to billy boat’s Boss ‘Ol SuperTex’s Dustup with The Flying Dutchman Arie Luyendyk instead, Hya! Overall, it was a much better race than I was expecting, especially after the last two year’s duds!


Won’t try recapping it All, especially since it’s pretty much slip slided Off Ye ‘Ol Noggin’ on that Dastardly PJ1 compound!


Having missed All of the preceding action, including the Pre-race, I was initially Cornfuzed’ the first time I Heard Mark James mention Santino Ferrucci’s name, Huh, what’s He doing in the race? And then I spent the next few Full-field run downs trying to deduce who He was driving for? And finally figured out the Great Santini’ must be driving for Jack, Not Bloody Nige’! Harvey, since his was the only name they Didn’t  mention. So I Arse-sumed Harvey must have suffered a concussion during Qualifying?


Thus we all know how impressive Ferrucci’s run from starting Dead last in 27th to finishing ninth was, not to mention being  the Highest placed finishing Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing entry! Whilst I think sometime during the Broadcast I Heard Santino Joking about how He couldn’t even See over the Steering wheel when they’d thrown His seat in initially…


Believe Racer’s Marshall Pruett divulged how Cale Coyne’s  “A Team” No. 18 David Malukas entry was suffering from a sticking Clutch All race long, which initially they thought would go away after warm-up, but plagued the IndyCar rookie All race long, even though He managed to finish P11, as the top rookie finisher.


Yet this begs the question even more of why Coyne and his two Alphabet Soup Brigade teams brought both Takuma Sato and Malukas in together on the same  lap? Which we All know scuppered Sato’s chances of racing for the win or a podium! Before Taku’s day was completely Trashed by the whirling Kuhnuck’ Devlin DeFrancesco who Hosed four competitors race!


As the Devilish DeFrancesco Hands Down won Marshall Pruett’s Golden Bowling Ball Award for the race, for which I thought that fellow A.J. Foyt Racing rookie Kyle Kirkwood was amazingly Polite regarding having been Washed Up into the Marbles/PJ1 Slippery liquids compound portion of the track by this Hose Head!


Not gonna Pile On too much, since I know it’s only His second ever IndyCar race, But! DeFrancesco Doesn’t impress me One Iota! Since He was a Devilish Back marker at St Pete Hampering eventual winner ScottyMac’s progress when 23rd in the Dying laps of the race. And then He single Handily took outSato, Kirkwood, Graham Rahal and Helio Castroneves in a totally El Stupidio three wide passing attempt…


Speaking of Kirkwood, the rookie once again impressed me mightily, who may be was so kind to DeFrancesco since He’s keeping His options open for returning to Mikey a’s squad next year? As I’m guessing the No. 27 seat will be available…


While even though ECR ultimately got the strategy wrong for Rinus VeeKay, who had to struggle with Fuel Saving at race’s end. The Dutchman get’s my nod for Driver of the Race! As VeeKay made a multitude  ‘O passes on the High Side when marching His way into the lead! Before ultimately finishing 10th.


Not really sure why we’re still making such a Big Fuss over Jimmie Johnson? As I just Don’t get the never ceasing Din over a NASCAR Driver in IndyCar? As I got a chuckle over IndyCar Radio’s Davey Hamilton saying How ‘bout that JJ! He’s the top running Ganassi driver, before somebody politely told him that Marcus Ericsson also drove for CGR! With Hamilton apologizing for overlooking the Swede’ who I think was running second at the time…


And lastly, speaking of Ericsson, Mary Ellen asked me after the race, who was that that you were rooting for? Since although I’ve got absolutely Nothing against ScottyMac’, who by my rudimentary math skills led three-fourths of the race. I was Rootin’ against Him and wanted Ericsson to claim His first Oval  victory instead!


As I simply Don’t like Penske winning every G-Damn’ race, even if it’s with somebody new like Scott McLaughlin and his totally Diverse, non IndyCar background! And Yeah, I understand that Chip Ganassi Racing’s also a frequent winner as part of the touted Big 3! But I just thought it would be great to have an ex-Formula 1 driver winning his Debutante Oval, especially with All of the Noise being made over JJ’s impressive debut IndyCar Oval run…


Hey, I’m Happy that Jimmie Johnson finally scored His first Top-10 finish, but Who’s Dat’ that passed Him for fifth place at races end, Eh?