Sunday, April 17, 2022

A RevHeadz’ Easter Basket Full ‘O Treats

Although I miss my yearly tradition of indulging in several Cadbury Eggs. Mmm, Mmm Sprinkles!


Otay, the thought first sprung upon me last weekend, when I was truly Gorging Thyself in a RevHeadz’ Delight!


Although it seemed funny to Mwah, how two fourths, Err Half of thee Quattro Motor races I was indulging Thyself upon, from Thursday evening to Sunday afternoon seemed totally overlooked and presumably forgotten?


All of which made me think of the fast approaching Easter weekend, Y’all know when the Easter Bunny brings us lucky ones a veritable treasure trove of Sweets and Delights of various sugary confections…


In Friday’s Down Under Free Practice session, ‘lil Syd Viddle, aka Sebastian Vettel who was ravenous after having spent the season’s first two Grands Prix on Bed rest, was stubbornly in search of one of the five golden tickets that would ensure Him a Podium finish from his forbidden stash of Wonka Bars in his Firesuit. That when He’d struck out again and threw the Wonka Bar’s wrapper dejectedly out of the cockpit, the ensuing wrapper was sucked down one of the engine’s Air trumpets and suddenly Seb’ had to switch off the Aston Martin’s Mercedes lump!


Over on this side of Ye Puddle, across from the Queen Mary, good ‘Ol JJ’, nee Jimmie Johnson seemed to have laid a few rotten Eggs, the fowlest one being when He Didn’t take his Hands Off of the Steering wheel when Dead Center punching the concrete Jersey barrier Wall in Turn 5 at Long Beach! As that’s gotta Hurt!


Since we know that All of those Hunting for His Autograph at the IndyCar Drivers session immediately afterwards were left Disappointed! With No JJ’ Hero’ Cards to put in Thar Easter Baskets, due to Jimmie fracturing a tiny Bone on his signing Hand!


Yet perhaps Graham Rahal and Romain Grosjean thought that may be, just may be there was one of the most sought after remaining five Golden Wonka Bars buried somewhere Deep upon that Turn 5 Wall, Whamoe!


And perhaps Syd’s teammate Lance Stroll had Heard what the German was up to on Friday? Since apparently the Kuhnuck was frantically searching thru the bottom of His Easter Basket when travelling at High Speed on Albert Park’s Motorways, and took His eyes Off of His mirrors when trying to look at the Easter Basket upon His lap underneath All of the Cadbury Eggs in Hopes that Vettel had misplaced one of His Wonka Bars, since after All you’re supposed to Share, Righto?


Before we All Heard over the Telescreen, Where the Gory Fuck did that Hoser (Nicholas) Latifi come from!


As the Hapless Team Willy’s driver Latifi was sent pirouetting into the adjacent wall after his Williams Front tyres Hit a Slippery patch ‘O Faux Grass basket lining carelessly thrown from Messer Stoll’s Aston Martin racecar…


Next, when le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBass’, aka Sebastien Bourdais was out for a Saturday afternoon cruise upon Shoreline Drive, apparently his Hands Slipped off the steering wheel from being coated in melting miniature chocolate Eggs. Since the Cheepster’s to Cheep’ to give his Drivers Cadbury Eggs! As SeaBass momentarily “Kissed” the Wall before wiping his chocolate covered gloves upon his Driving Suit. And in a Fit ‘O Rage, or was it Panic? Put the Hammer Down so Chip Ganassi wouldn’t take his Easter Candy Away from Him!


Meanwhile in Austin Texas, a ‘lil Motorcycle race was going on. Where the Grid’s first five positions were All rosso Chickadees, Err red Ducs! Whilst the King of COTA wasn’t having his way at all, when the marshmellow Chickadees stuck to his gloves and He wasn’t able to engage his Honda’s Holeshot device, and when He tried to ride off, nothing Happened! With his Honda just stuck in neutral Shrieking to 12,000rpms as the rest of his Guests went Thunderin’ past Him! Where “The Beast” Feasted upon the rest of the Competizion upon his Ducati!


Back in “Fat Albert’s” Park, nearly Half a Million Crazed Aussies’ who Hadn’t seen the Sun in some 1100+ Days! All came out at once since they’d been promised Free easter Eggs at the Melbourne Theme Park. As they were Dazzled by the various racing cars in the colours of the Rainbow, but the Free, Hidden Eggs had run out long ago before the Headlining Act took place…


And Maximus Hothead’ was so Miffed over having to turn his Red Bull’s Powertrain Off in the middle of the event, that He went full Ozzie Osbourne “Postal” and clean Bit the Head and both Ears Off of his Chocolate Bunny! C’mon Max, be kind to Bunnies!


The next day back along the Beach, Colton Herta was completely Baffled over how come He Didn’t get a Blue Easter Egg? And how come Alex Palou and Josef Newgarden got to go search for there’s first? But I wanted the Blue Egg first Daddy! Before Colton dejectedly threw his Rainbow coloured Jellybeans outta his cockpit and next time round, went Skating into the nearby Jersey Barrier, Blamoe!


Whilst Josef, Alex and Party Newcomer Romain Grosjean All tried playing Hopscotch with each other, before Takuma Sato’s day was ruined when He Slid upon the last of the remaining Jellybeans…