Wednesday, November 3, 2021

A Brief Delay…

Ok folks, as you can tell, we’ve come to a Stop on a Sidtrack to let a Northbound freight train pass us. As we’ll be stopped shortly for hopefuly just a brief Delay and we Appreciate your Patience for the Delay. Once again, Thanks for traveling on Amtrak.


So should I scribble ‘bout it or not? As I still somewhat Bristle over a fellow IndyCar Blogger previously writing about our (Oregon) Governor Kate Brown having an Itchy Trigger-finger over Covid-19 and could have Cancelled the Portland IndyCar race for a second year in-a-row at any moment, which we know Didn’t happen and Hey, I Don’t make comments about the Deep South, Just Sayin’.


As your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso took his very first trip outside the state for the first time in two Freakin’ years a Fortnight ago, Riding the Rails to the city of Destiny, nee Tacoma for a long overdue visit since I’d left my Home state. As I’ve been rightly or wrongly following All of the Oregon State Protocols regarding covid since Gee Wally, I Don’t wanna get sick!


And you involuntarily get to meet some of the Craziest, Zany, Wackoid people when riding Amtrak, which ain’t the Train company’s Fault! But why do some people think they need to impart their wackoid Philosophies upon everybody sharing their train car?


As an Overweight Man carrying an Oxygen “Bottle” (Box) who took up one third of my seat with his Girth wedged against my leg and arm and asked me if it was my first Train Trip? Casually tried striking up a conversation with the man directly across from us who pulled his window curtain open and started spewing off about Vehicle Stimulation and how Jesus hadn’t Driven a Car for 33 years nor had he! And how the world was coming to an end due to Mankind’s Destruction and how we should All read Revelations 11:18! As Holy Foaming Rollers Batman! And I didn’t even mumble a Sin towards this unasked for verbal Onslaught!


It’s also Funny to me how Amtrak calls it’s L.A. to seattle Coast Starlight which is overly notorious for Never being on time a “Direct” Train, which simply means in Amtrak parlance that one Doesn’t have to transfer trains, i.e.; the poor Souls who missed their Empire Builder train to Chicago’s connection due to the Freight-train that Delayed the Northbound Coast Starlight by Two and One Half Hours, Whale’ it felt like that! Got to spend the night in the City of Roses (Portland) on Amtrak’s “Dime.”


Departing from the Eugene Train Station, my nearest departure point from thoust Bungalow by The Sea in Ye Utter’ Florence. We made a total of eight stops before finally reaching Tacoma at 8:30PM vs. our original 6:45PM Arrival, which was pretty amazing how much time they made up, since we’d left Eugene some two hours late after they originally thought the train would be five hours late due to the Freight-train’s problem!


With Amtrak having left me a voicemail saying they’d moved me to the 4:40PM Cascades “High speed” Train instead. But fortunately I’d disregarded checking for messages and only learned of this when checking in, hence keeping my original seat on the coast Starlight “Express” instead…


We stopped at Albany, then Salem, where fortunately the man sitting with me moved to a departing passenger’s seat, Whew! Next Portland before finally crossing the Columbia River and onto Vancouver, WA. Kelso/Longview, Centralia, Olympia/Lacey and then finally six hours later Tacoma, Yeehaw!


A Super Kind, Friendly woman who was traveling with her mother, as they’d gone down to Disneyland and back via the train, with Thar return trip stretching to 35 Hours, Aye Karumba! As I’d later learn it was Amy and Jane I believe?


As Jane seeing me opening my White Cane and being in the aisle fumbling to find the door “button” asked me if I wanted a hand getting to the Bathroom? And then she guided me back to my seat afterwards. As it’s pretty entertaining trying to find the Car Door’s “Automatic” opening button on the Handless doors between cars when your Blind, not to mention the Bathrooms!


Then somewhere past Olympia? Towards the end of my Amtrak journey, I heard my “Friend” say; Hey, What does your shirt say? As suddenly this Jesus Freak was nearly in my lap about a foot away from me as the train lightly rocked back ‘N forth over the rails saying Sorry to be Nosey but can I read your T-shirt? No, Hold your coat open what’s the last part say? As I only, only Ever have these types of reactions when wearing the Kuhnadiun’ EH? T-Shirt the late Kuhnadiun’ lass Claire gave me as a present a Zillion years ago…


As we were nearing the Tacoma Train station and he started walking up ‘N down the aisle saying to himself Eh? And then laughing, saying he’d forgotten about that Eh? Ha Ha Ha Ha ha. Where’d you get that? Are you from Kanaduh? Blah Blah Blah!


As I would tell this religious Zealot to Take off eh! When Deboarding  the train as he was helping unload luggage for my two female Co-Passengers. As Jane casually said you’ve been with us since Davis, have you eaten anything today? Here mother, give him some of your uneaten food, before giving him All sorts of “goodies” just before we arrived inTacoma.


Thus, finally arriving at the Closed Tacoma Train Station @8:30PM. As the “Lady Jane,” having repeatedly told the Wako Religious Freak her name was just plain Jane when he repeatedly asked them what they’re names were? But my ‘Ol internal Jukebox started Ah-Playin’ the Rolling Stones Lady Jane instead.


As Jane  told me while we stood in-between cars  at the door waiting to Deboard that she just wanted to go home and see her three month old German Sheppard. So naturally I told her I was going to “See” Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen’s 7yr old Doggie. Her male Chihuahua named Hilo since that’s where he came from, to which both Jane and her mother said instantly Hilo Hatti!

Then the return trip also aboard the Amtrak Coast Starlight; since I prefer this train due to it’s reasonable Departure/Arrival “Times” also was full of Frivolities. Although the day didn’t start well for somebody, as we’d be Delayed leaving Tacoma for some two-plus Hours due to a Freight-train having Struck a person Ontrack, as the PA System’s announcement claimed it was a “Tresspasser” and the rails were closed for investigation. Then seated in my Car which was starkly Quiet, it sounded like I had it all to myself? Still in Tacoma, just some 20mins later we came to a complete stop to let that Northbound Freight-train pass us. And I didn’t hear somebody behind me cough quietly until nearly Centralia? But as Good ‘Ol Derek Daly would say: “Hang Onto your Holly Hocks!” It’s about to get bumpy folks, Choo-choo!


This Old Codger got onboard at Portland and just wanted to talk to everybody or anybody, promptly asking me where I was going after he told me he was going to Redding, CA.


Oh, Eugene, that’s just a Hop, Skip and a Jump, if we ever leave? As our “Short” stop in Portland to make up time, with the Conductor pleading with Smokers to not go too far away from the train. Stretched to nearly 45mins before the train moved; Choo-choo, or more like Chugga-chugga-Chug, but I’m getting ahead of myself…


As this stranger said to me, Eugene’s a nice town, I got stuck there once. Yep, it’s a nice Conservative Republican town. Now Corvallis’s Radical! But Eugene’s Conservative, as I guess I’m a Conservative. Don’t know how that happened, but guess I’m a Conservative.


As the entire car filled up and the train finally pulled forward at a very sedate rate about 50 feet before it came to a complete stop. And this Stranger said loudly Oh No, that’s Not Good!


Ladies and Gentlemen as you can tell, we’ve come to a stop for a Red light for Freight traffic and we’ll begin moving as soon as we get a better signal, before sitting another 20mins, Groan!


As this Blowhard just began trying to strike up a conversation first with me by asking did I know what time it was and how late we were? To which I told him we were now three hours late, pretty much “Straight Up!” And then anybody else in the car since I tired of his pointless questions, Oh Swell!


Then he got on the telephone with who he loudly told us was his ex-wife and tried asking other pointless questions to No Avail, since Nobody would answer him.


So he decided it was time to try pushing our Buttons by telling us how Great of a President Trump was! I voted for Trump, as he’ll go down in history as one of our greatest presidents! He didn’t have anything to lose, he was already a Millionaire. Yep, he was a great president. He’s somebody you could sit down with and have a cup of coffee…


Hey, do you notice how Nobody answers me whenever I say something or ask a question to Anybody? As All I could think of was Bill Engvall and “Here’s your sign!” Dip Shit!


And that’s just a tiny ‘lil flavour of my trip to Tacoma! For which I always say that traveling provide good Blog Material, Hya! As I haven’t even told Yuhs ‘bout going to listen to Eric Anderson’s Band The Klein Party that plays Klezmer music at the Vashon Island Farmers Market on a wet, blustery Fall day! As I’m still trying to play Ketsup’ after returning home Y’all, and just Cannot type fast enough to Poond’ Out more riveting No Fenders stories…