Monday, November 15, 2021

A Week ‘O Computing Futility!

A why must those Pesky, Annoying Gremlins Always visit My Confuzer, eh?


Yeah Kiddoes’, I know you probably Don’t give a Tinkers Damn, But!


And I suppose it’s part of the price for going on Holiday and then trying to return to the normal Slog, Eh? As now my Rinky dink Oldies ‘ Radio Station has gone Full Blown 24/7 Christmas Musak’, beginning on Black Friday Nonstop ‘til New years Day Ho Ho Ho! Having just listened to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer when I began typing this. Hey Rudolph Shine a light on my confuzer willz’ Yuh? But I digress…


Actually it took me All day Friday to figure out it wasn’t Black Friday yet, just felt like it due to Veteran’s Day falling on Thursday this year…


So why does our El Stupidio Time Change to go off of Daylight Savings Time have to had such a profound effect upon my confuzer? Since All I did was turn off the Gory machine Sunday morning in order to “Watch,” err listen to an Uber’ ridiculously long winded 90mins Formula 1 Preamble, with Martin Billybob’ Brundle, Damon Hill, Jenson button and Simon What’s His Name lead Pre-race Presenter Prattle on ‘bout what Shoe size Sergio Perez wears Blah Blah Blah!


And then the entire Mexican Grand Prix which was an absolute snoozer! Although I was Happy that Max Verstappen won and really enjoyed hearing how passionate Checko’s Home crowd was! Deafeningly Roaring for Perez not only being the first ever Mexican Driver to lead a lap in his Home F1 race, but also the first ever to stand atop the Podium! For which good ‘Ol DC’, aka David Coulthard told Sergio on the Podium when interviewing him for finishing third overall to say a few words in El Spanol, ci!


So naturally when I turned the Confuzer back on around 1:15PM I was totally Cornfuzed over why the Zoomtext Fusion 2022 Screen Reader I use to not only write this riveting No Fenders Blog’s Dribble, but Navigate everythingy’ E-E-E Electronically, i.e.; Internet, Email and Word wouldn’t Start and I was literally blind, WTF?


And the Ha Ha Fine Folks who Sell and Support Zoomtext’s Screen Reading products are closed on Weekends and Federal Holidays meant I’d have to wait until Monday morning to try resolving said issue. But at least I had a CD Audiobook I could listen to Not! As little did I know that I’d accidently bumped the universal AC Adapter’s power setting off of it’s “Mark,” so I had to break out the batteries instead, Sigh!


Calling first thing Monday morning a friendly Zoomtext Tech Support person remote logged into my system and reinstalled the Disabled Fusion 2022 Screen Reader “launch” sequence. As I thought I was “Good to go,” but Silly me!


For reasons still unknown, as Nobody wants to listen to me or try explaining, having mentioned this to five IT Support persons now, Urgh! My winDOUGHS 10 system, ergo Screen Reader now reads Out-loud C Host Windows Logon Class when starting up, Huh? And Microsoft Edge says Alert! Click Back to the Top Click Back to the Top Back to the Top every single Blinkin’ time I open the Gory Browser, WTF! Not to mention the new “Space Mountain” Twinkle Twinkle Seeing Stars Noise when either typing somebody’s name into the To “Bar” or tabbing thru the Cc “Bar!” Whiskey Tango foxtrot Roger Wilco? As I did Not make any of these changes myself, Nor did I ask for them, Sigh!


But the even Bigger Joke was that suddenly everytime I tried reading a brand new, previously unvisited webpage/website, the Fusion Screen Reader would simply Freeze “Solid” when starting the reader, most notably on WICKEDPedia’ pages! And the only way to resolve my system being completely Locked Up was by Hard Booting le Machine!


As this Maddening sequence occurred at least seven Bloody times Monday before I Quit counting and gave up trying to read the Web! Although I had to wonder if it was a Freudian thing? Since I was momentarily intrigued over Charles Manson having reputedly wrecked not one, but two of The Beach Boys Ferrari 275 GTB’s, Sheisa!


Which led me to listening again to an ‘Ol U2 Album titled Rattle and Hum for which I own the CD. Marveling over how I’d never ever before been curious about the opening lines Bono says: “Charles Manson Stole this from The Beatles, We’re Stealing It Back!” On U2’s live rendition of Helter Skelter.


So may be the Internets’ Didn’t want me trying to find out what Charles Manson’s connection to The Beatles Helter Skelter song was? Which I find it sorta Funny I’m just learning about this some Fifty-plus years later…


AnyHoo’, I gave up for the day before experiencing the same Futility on Tuesday another 5-6 times when simply trying to look up Briggs Cunningham’s Wikipedia page, which I like using for cursory background information, since I know it’s correct 69% of the time, Hya!


Wednesday I got No further and was thoroughly Disgusted! Before I made the Mistake of scheduling my local Computer Technician to come over Thursday for an In Home visit which the Sheister’s now charge an Uber Obscene $95.00 per Hour! Which wasn’t Matt’s fault! But I was pretty Angry with myself when He simply walked into the No Fenders “Office” and said your printers flashing a Yellow light! Which Matt resolved by simply pushing the flashing button that I could Not bloody See!


Having apparently triggered the Error mode by having run out of paper and then not originally loading it correctly before trying to resume printing, SHIT! As Matt said Thars’ 13 more print Jobs in the Queue after having fixed the Check Engine light…


As I Didn’t even bother trying to contact Zoomtext on Veteran’s Day, opting to watch the Encore presentation of MASH’s 1983 2hr Goodbye, Farewell and Amen series finale instead…


Friday morning I called Zoomtext who are located in Clearwater, Florida and a nice Female Tech Support person called me back. Yet after having logged into my system remotely twice, both times with the connection being lost, she referred me to Microsoft’s Accessability Hotline instead, who I’ve never called before. Of course this resulted in another very polite woman named Monica determining that the Windows Narrator could read Microsoft Edge Browser pages but both 2021 and 2022 Zoomtext Fusion readers couldn’t! And after she remotely confirmed that everything on my winDOUGHS 10 Puter’ was up to date, Yep Yuhs guessed it! I got to call Zoomtext back again.


And now I’m fairly convinced that it’s something on Zoomtext’s end, since when I spoke to my third Tech Support person that morning the telephone simply went click click while He was looking up my Case number, Ack!


Then I got a fourth Zoomtext Tech Support person who was very Grumpy to me, asking did I call Microsoft? And what did they say? Before He went thru a bunch ‘O Settings on my machine remotely and finally after an entire morning spent on the telephone, I can at least once again read Webpages without locking up my entire system! Although I’ve still got All of the other Bugs I didn’t request still on my machine…