Friday, November 19, 2021

F1: Another Sprint Qualifying Joker, Wings Aplenty and Mercedes Crocodile Tears

As Toto Wolff can Cry in His Beer All the way to Doha…


Yeah, I’m certain most Formula 1 Fans are still talking over last weekend’s controversial Sao Paolo Grand Prix, which just Doesn’t sound right to me, since it’ll forever be the Brazilian Grand Prix!


So where to start, eh? Having missed Friday’s Pre Pole Qualifying outing, we All know now that Sir Lewis Hamilton’s car was excluded from Qualifying for Breach of a Technical Regulation. For which I’ll agree with Martin Billybob’ Brundle’s comment that the Rules are the Rules! And if ‘lil sid Viddle’ (Sebastian Vettel) got Disqualified from second place in Hungary for an unintended Breach of the Sporting Regulations due to a mechanical malady, then there can be No Gray Areas! So Get Over It Mercedes!


As Car No. 44’s rear wing was found to be in violation of the maximum 85mm “Slot Gap” Drag Reduction System’s (DRS) Fully opened position, as clearly defined in the FIA Technical Directives, which Mercedes didn’t bother to Appeal. Thus Hamilton was Disqualified (DSQ) from Friday’s Qualifying and sent to the rear of the grid for Saturday’s Sprint Qualifying race.


But Max “Choir Boy” Verstappen was given a Hefty $50,000 Euros Fine for illegally touching Hamilton’s offending rear wing following Friday’s Qualifying which was discovered by a Fan’s Online video of Max checking for Flexability afterwards in Parc Ferme.


As let’s All remember that Red Bull was accused of this same practice before the FIA updated the Wing Deflection load testing requirements beginning in Azerbaijan, for which Lewis Hamilton had been insinuating the Red Bull’s rear wing was doing…


And Yuhs just gotta Luv’ the FIA Cowtowing to Liberty Media’s requests. As I’ll begrudgingly admit that the third Sprint Qualifying race this season was better than the first two Duds! But it still leaves a Bad taste in My Mouth!


Since can somebody please explain to me how you can credit a driver with Pole position for simply Outjumping/Out Dragging the leading Front row competitor into the track’s first corner and how that equates to true Pole position, i.e.; the Driver with the Fastest lap Overall!


As we’ve had three of these Made for Reality TV “shows,” Err Sprint Qualie’ races now, and All three times the driver starting second has won the race and been deemed the Pole winner, BARF!


But No folks! Instead the FIA has Stupidly announced we’re gonna have twice as many of these Farcical Pole Shootout races next year and further Crap all over the F1 Record books! Ooh, Ooh, What’s that Smell?


Meanwhile perhaps it’s just Mwah, but I’m thinking that Mercedes might want to get a new sponsor for it’s team? As I think Kllenex would be most befitting of them, especially with All of the Crying Toto Wolff and Golden Child did at Interlagos!Which seems to becoming a weekly event for Herr Toto and Golden child!


Since when Hamilton sarcastically retorted over his In-car radio Of Course when told the Stewards were taking No Action over his Overtaking tussle with Verstappen on Lap-48 into Turn 4 when Max aggressively Defended the corner whilst leading. All I could say mockingly Out-loud was Boo Hoo-Hoo, Cry Me A River Lewis! Although Don’t know how well Ballerina Shoes would work on F1 pedals?


As Toto now says he guesses Thars No more Gentlemen’s Agreements in Formula 1? As really toto, where did you ever get that Na├»ve idea from? And please do Not tell me that Mercedes, like every single F1 Constructor Doesn’t push the Technical Rules to the absolute limit!


Hey toto, I think you spilled some Gray Poupon upon your tie whilst eating your Sauerkraut! But Don’t Fret, Yuhs can use some of that Discarded Red Bull Tape you’re keeping an eye upon to cover it Up


As you do have to wonder if Herr Wolff’s bosom buddy Christian Horner, the Pied Piper ‘O Red Bull’s claims of the Silver, Err W12 Black Arrows being 22 Klicks’ (Kilometers) Faster than the Red Bull RB16B, then what’s up with that?


Although Max’s “Schuey Swerve” down the Straightaways is less than impressive! But then again if Hamilton really had a 30kph Speed Advantage over Verstappen, then why is Mercedes whingin on so vehemently?


And I find it Preposterous over how Toto and Lewis seem to simply think that Anybody who sees the #44 in Thar Wing mirrors Ontrack should simply Pull over and say After you Sir Lewis!


Since have we All forgotten how much publicly Hamilton was looking forward to a fight with Max and some real competition this year at the beginning of this season?


While please do Not tell me that Hamilton wouldn’t have done the exact same thing to Verstappen if their roles had been reversed! As I’m overly tired of Sir Lewis’s Goody Tutu shoes impersonation. As just how many fellow F1 Drivers has he Squeezed towards the “Rough” over the years? Since you simply cannot become a Seven times World Champion without doing so!


So like Kimi’s wife Minttu Virtanen famously said Lewis. “If you’re gonna Cry like a Girl, then may be You should take Up Ballet!”