Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Jive Talking: Can Racing live Without Danica?



"Mrs. Blue Dress," nee Danica Patrick poses with a Stunned Tomaso prior to the 2011 Indy 500 Awards Banquet in Downtown Indianapolis. (The Tomaso Collection)
As Shirley, Don't Call Me Shirley! That Uber' O.L.D. Danica Fan Jeffie' will have something entertaining to say about her, Eh?


Ah, what's that 'Ol sayin' Dark or White? Wee-Wee...

As I was somewhat surprised to stumble across the news, when perusing Reuters Sports section late Friday evening, Nov 17th.

As surely Y'all have heard that Dan-Dan-Daniker', better known here in Nofendersville as Queen Danica, has announced her impending plans to retire next year after doing her own, unique version of "The Double," by contesting the 2018 Daytona 500 & Indy 500...


Although it's been a long, long time now since I've scribbled anythingy 'bout Danica Patrick on these No Fenders pages Me Thinks? As Snowbyrd MJ" said, I thought you were Soooooo Over Danica...

Whale', it appears thou last time I mentioned Queen Daniker' was when regaling Y'all 'bout getting to touch three racecars at IMS's Museum, when I think CARPETS' told me to keep my Mitts off the Danica manikin; Hya!


As it seems just like yesterday, and Oh, so L-O-N-G Ago... That I watched Danica Mania's birth, when I believe it was Todd Harris going Ga-Ga over her improvable dance with history! As even think 'Ol Scotty Somonex' Goodyear got in on the Furor?

As Y'all recall the year Twenty-oh-five, when Gen Colin Powell was the honourary Pace Car driver at Mother Speedway, Eh? And a precocious 23yr old female rookie piloting one of "Boobie Ruble's" (Bobby Rahal) Dallara/Hondres' had the audacity to lead 19-laps at Indianapolis! Before Dannyboy Spike' Wheldon swept pass en route to his first Indy 500 victory, while Danica finished P4 and was named Rookie Of The Year.

Danica Patrick's 2005 Dallara/Honda IndyCar on display at the IMS Hall of Fame museum. (The Tomaso Collection)
Yet as I think 'Ol Jeffie' would say, I'm definitely not going for any "click Bait" here, by rolling out another Danica story. Especially since none of my three faithful readers ever comment on thou BLOB' site; Hya!

Yet it was pretty comical to Mwah, beside my tunin' into a Roundy-Round race. Having sat down for an extremely late lunch, I dropped into the Taxicabs finale at Homestead, with some 28-laps remaining in Stage 2.

As Rick Allen blathered on 'N on 'bout Danica's accomplishments in racing, whilst even think Pit Reporter Kelli Stavast was getting in on the act; Oh, we've got a caution Rick, she said...

As it was none other than Danica into the wall! As her post-accident interview with Stavast was pretty sharp! As I laughed vociferously whilst thinking Cat Fight and Milka Duno towel slaps... MEOW! Now those were the Days; Hya!

As my initial impression was that Patrick had just kicked Kelli in the Balls when she tried interviewing her, while shades 'O "It's Not My Fault!" Played upon Thy Memorex...

As her six year span in NASCAR with nary a Top-5 finish simply makes me think of Mikey Ah-shucks' Waltrip's stupendous career...


But then again, I've never truly been a Fan 'O Danica's. Although I've long since gotten over her, having wiped my hands clean after her departure for the Greener side of 'RASSCAR some half dozen years ago. Since I've just never liked the nauseating nonstop media exposure she's claimed, having been a Sarah Fisher supporter instead.


And I could meander on 'N on, probably not creating any great sentence structure here. Other than noting Danica's probably the only female IndyCar driver to ever get truly top notch equipment, which in the words of Thy late Awntie' Harriet: Good For You!


Not to mention that I truly hope that Cheep' steps up and gives her a ride for Daytona and Indianapolis next year. Where I look forward to watching; Err listening to her Swan Song at Mother Speedway next May.

As I tend to agree with Senor Rahal and Mayor Hinch' on her timing being perfect, since everybody will be adapting to the brand new, never raced before 2018 Super Speedway Spec UAK Dallara's, nee Universal Aero Kit. Which James Hinchcliffe has said requires re-learning how to drive an IndyCar, since A-L-L of the current DW12 Aerokit's Downforce is gone.


Or even better yet, how 'bout Chip Ganassi running her at the season's first Oval race in Phoenix, where Danica used to reside, as a tune-up for The Month of May. As I think Team Rahal's missing a Golden Opportunity...



(Photos c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS' & Randal, Thy Moniker King of No Fenders...)

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