Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Formula E: Long Beach thoughts

Otay, since somebody out Thar didn't like my Humour... This isn't intended to be funny or critical but instead, just my observations from the race circuit fondly referred to as "The Beach!"
So I decided to watch my first ever Formula E race on Thy Telie', since I thought it would relieve the massive frustration I was fuming over after having squandered away nearly half of the Indy Lights race on Phoenix Int'l Raceway's Oval - trying to figure out where in the BLEEP! The F%%KING Play Button was; Can You Hear me Now Indycar.com? But I digress...

Thus I just spent the  entire ninety minutes in a most bemused, Cheshire Cat lopsided grin plastered upon my face while in stunned amazement type 'O mood.

And while the racing wasn't half bad overall, and these cars definitely have some grunt; Err torque, with an alleged top speed of 155mph! Nonetheless several thingys' just kept me in an animated state 'O amusement.

First off was the lead-in announcement 'bout how this was the series of the future - set to wipe out those archaic Open Wheel Racing cars of today... And then Fox Sports immediately ran the first of several Promos' for that evening's AMA Supercross Motorcycle race! Not to mention plugging the upcoming NASCAR race repeatedly, which after all By Gummit! They've got fuel injection now on Dem V-8's!

Or Brian Till constantly reliving Thy racetrack's glory days, i.e.; Formula 5000, F1, CART, Champ Car, etc. Which A-L-L are petroleum powered racing series...

Also noted Bob Varsha changing UP his signature race start Tag-line to Uhm? As I always remember him saying Turn UP the Volume, at the beginning of every F1 race he called. Which naturally he didn't say nothing 'bout volume 'cause the Formula E cars make nary a Peep!

As that was just the STURR-RANGEST race I've ever watched; Err listened too! As it was just downright WEIRD with Dario Franchitti and Bob Varsha's voices on the telecast being louder than the racecars! As even the Track Marshall's incessant whistle blowing in Pitlane  was louder  than the cars!

I mean how much prattlin' on 'bout how Formula 1 cars aren't L-O-U-D enough have we endured since the introduction of the Power Unit era, but Holy Hearing Aids Batman! I think the  torturing of the tyres rubber was louder than the whine of the electrical motors! With the only ambient noise coming from the regenerative braking?

Other funny bit for Mwah was Varsha dryly noting if you're a "Veteran Formula E Fan!" Huh? That's Rich since they're  only in their second season ever! Then you'll know that the drivers have to switch cars halfway thru the race because the batteries aren't strong enough to go a full race distance!

Which takes me back to A-L-L of the Spin we endured the first 33minutes before the lights, presumably powered by good 'Ol electricity from "the Grid!" If this is the sport of the future, and All Hail Formula E! Then shouldn't they be able to go an entire race on a single battery?

Which in defense of Formula E, the new battery tender just set out by the FIA calls for the sole battery supplier to provide a new battery next season able to do just that.

And talk about comprised Cockamamie' artificially induced racing. What in the HELL is  this mystery Fan Boost! I mean I thought it was bad enough with Rio Haryanto winning Fan of The Day in Bloody Melbourne, but seriously, Fan Boost?

While the funniest part of the whole event was Dario Franchitti race calling, as he seemed like he was trying not to laugh himself silly the whole race. Where do you think he'll try to pass him Bob? As they were funny and the whole time I felt like they were calling a golf game; Err Match,  but at least they were enjoyable - and nobody was building any foundations! And pretty sure they ran a straight-up NO nonsense Qualie Show.

Also, it was good to hear Brian Till's voice once again, although it's funny knowing that two-thirds of the Broadcast Booth team are ex-IndyCar drivers with the third voice, and lead announcer having covered both Formula 1 and Indy Cars previously...

While Congrats to Simona de Silvestro for not only "Breaking-her-Duck" points-wise, but by becoming the series first female to ever score points with her ninth place finish...