Friday, May 31, 2013

RED FLAG THIS!

Although I’m loathe to even begin to need dipping into the “Checkers or ‘Reckers” BULLSHIT! Currently occupying the mythical Airwaves in regards to this year’s Indy 500 finishing under a Gulp! Yellow flag, as Trackside with Kevin & Cavin’s ‘Kurty Cavin brought up an interesting tidbit ‘bout how three of the past four races finishing under yellow would have finished exactly the same under the FREAKIN’ RASSCAR GWF rules; BARF! Nevertheless, can Y’all simply knock this SHIT off! As in it’s the Indy 500! NOT the Indy 502, 507.43, 512.69, etc.

As I’d like Y’all to further consider that incorrect grammar above of “Checkers or ‘Reckers,” Yee Haw! As in the last word is WRECKERS... As surely the Team Owners who pulled a Palace Revolt last year upon Randy “the CandyMann” Bernard over the topic of parts costing too MUCH would be in favour of this? I mean, if Y’all need more excitement and wanna see more WRECKS, than perhaps Yuhs should switch over to the Wide World ‘O RASSCAR! Or even better yet, “Professional” (Snicker Snicker) Wrasslin,’ eh?

Now I typically try refraining from saying too much about Kevin Lee, but upon listening to Wednesday night’s Trackside, I found myself yelling at the ‘Confuzer “SHUT UP KEVIN!” As his insidious idea about instigating a rules package for denoting when a Red Flag can/cannot be used to stop a race in order to facilitate track clean-up in order to ensure a Green Flag finish is nothing more than a Sow in a Blanket with a Summer’s Bonnet shading its snout dress-up version of the Green-White Finish of RASSCAR Roundy-round fame! So, please CUT I-T OUT, Kevin! As I know you love to stir the pot, but really? Perhaps you should look up the definition of what a Red Flag is traditionally used for.

I mean what’s next? If we’re gonna use faux Red Flags to ensure Green-White Finishes; then why not throw in Competition Yellows? Yuhs know in order for everybody to come into the pits together so nobody gets an unfair advantage, as after all shouldn’t A-L-L 25-26 IndyCar drivers get purple; Err Blue ribbons for starting the race? After all everybody’s a winner, right? SHIT! What’s next, the ‘Rucky Dawg and cautions for Phantom debris?

I mean if I wanted to watch a bunch ‘O Stockcar Bombers playin’ Pinball I’d go watch them for 16hrs on F-O-X, right? As I never, ever, ever thought I’d hear I-T in the stands at Mother Speedway, but there I-T was on Raceday with less than ten laps remaining when some Yeahoo fan yelled: “Boogity-Boogity-Boogity; Let’s GO Racing boyz,” BARF! As somehow I thought I was at an IndyCar race...

STOP THE MADNESS!

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