Sunday, June 2, 2013

INDYCAR: Welcome to Conway Isle Monsieur Simon!

Congratulations to Monsieur “Symone Pagenoe,” aka Simon Pagenaud, who I’ve been ‘Hip on ever since his Champ Car Dazes, albeit briefly after winning the ‘Toy-yoter; Err Cooper Tires Presents the Champ Car Atlantics Powered by Mazda XP Calladrocious... Uhm Vanna, I’d like to buy a vowel; Hya!

And what more can Y’all say ‘bout thee CRAZINESS of today’s “Rubbin is Racin’” race? As Justin ‘B-I-G UNIT Wilson summed I-T up best, saying everybody’s just being overly aggressive, I suppose since they don’t have to go racing tomorrow, eh?

And Quip of the week obviously goes to DJ WillyP, nee Will Power who called out le Hamburgular, aka Sebastain Bourdais on national TV by saying “He once was a Champ, but now He’s a CHUMP!” As the only person missing from the 10-car pile-up was Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter; Hooah!

As a very peeved Power threw his gloves at ‘SeaBass in a moment of angst towards the Frenchman, as apparently Power was trying to tell Sebastain that he wanted to FART in his general direction, ‘Wee-wee!

And I found it funny how although I wanted my man Simon to notch his debutant BIG CARZ victory, I was also rootin’ for James Jakes - since it seems so far he’s been one of the league’s punching bags as a “Pay Driver,” yet I believe he’s got the best finish to date at RLLR over the more esteemed G. Willikers Rahal, right?

And the way hired gun Mike-“Ice Ice Baby” Conway was slicing ‘N dicing thru the field and promptly resuming the lead after every restart, it really looked like he’d be taking an extra $50-large off of Tony George’s hands as his ‘lil car wax concern Sonax was putting up a $50,000 bonus to anybody who could win both of the Dual’s at Detroit this weekend...

Yet like A-L-L of the runners who tortured their ‘Flinstone red (alternate) rubber, which are designed to degrade faster than the primary Black’s, Conway fell off the boil and ultimately finished P3 with the aforementioned Jakes scoring a career best runner-up finish with the Target Boyz of Scott Dixon & Dario Franchitti finishing P4-5 respectively.

The Top-10 was filled out by Marco Andretti, Charlie Kimball, Helio Castroneves, Graham Rahal and Sebastian Saavedra finishing sixth-to-tenth place respectively, whilst Mike Conway will head back home to England to resume helping his father lay manure on his farm while the rest of the IndyCar circus moves onto Texas for another Saturday night brawl, as Marty Reid read off an entertaining fact. Penske Racing has NOT gone this deep in a season without a victory since 1978! While I’m sure Chip Ganassi is getting fidgety over not seeing his red cars in victory lane either.

And how ‘bout those Honda’s putting a good ‘Ol fashioned Smack-down upon ‘Chebbie at their home race, eh? Winning both races and a Top-5 sweep today, after a 1-3-4 placing of the Top-5 in Race-1 Saturday...

Will we see a fourth debutant IndyCar winner this season at Texas? Will Penske or Ganassi finally snap their winless streak or will the Andretti Boyz or Indy 500 winner ‘TK resume their winning ways? Guess we’ll all haveda tune into another ABC telecast this coming Saturday night.


Plus the entire Schmidt-Hamilton-Peterson Motorsports Organization on the first of many wins to come...