Sunday, September 18, 2011

After You Dashley LePew!

Hey Ryan Briscoe - CAUTION! Objects May be CLOSER Then they APPEAR in your rear-view Mirrors... (Source:
No, I insist,
After you,
NO-NO, I insist,
NO! I really insist - after you,
But my front wing is about to slice into your rear tyre...
NO-NO, I’ll just pull off into the gravel trap and let you go by - I insist!

Those may or may NOT have been the views of Ryan Briscoe v Dashley LePew, aka Dario Franchitti who CLEARLY made what the sport deems Avoidable Contact (again) with the No. 6 car AHEAD of him... And thus we waited ‘N waited... But unlike Toronto, we didn’t hold our breath as Jon Bekhuis said let’s be very clear here - there’s still NO penalty being given to the No. 10 car by Race Control; WTF!!! As Wally Dallenbach succinctly put it; that’s the SAME move that’s cost previous drivers Drive-thru penalties - end of story; BUTT NO! Dario got the majik Brazenheartz NO-call... BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEPITY BLEEP! FUCKING EH RAY!

And really ‘Cheep? You’re gonna have a tough talk with Dario and scold him for hurtin’ three ‘O your cars; BULLSHIT! Go cry me a river ‘O Crocodile Tears! As NOT only should your driver have been given a Drive-thru penalty; BUTT! Indy Car needs to institute a new Racin’ is Rubbin’ rule which sez Y’all get a STOP ‘n Go penalty for Roughshod driving - Yuhs hears me Randy “the CandyMann” Bernard? As I’ve just got three ‘lil words for you: Jean-Marie Balestre!

Go ahead ‘N look ‘em up Mr. Bernard - since I know you DON’T know who that Frenchie was... But here’s a clue. Monsieur Balestre was the President of FISA which became the FIA... Yep! That exact same one who rules Formula 1 and ALL of your racetracks are certified by...

Yet after his supreme reign of 13yrs, the ‘Uber CONTROVERSIAL Monsieur Balestre who among things was lamented publicly by none other then Ayrton Senna - who I just watched speak into the Camera’s eye during the SENNA movie said: “There’s NO Consistency!”

Hmm? Sound familiar? And you know what? Jean-Marie was eventually run out of his post - losing the General Election to someone named Sir maXXum, nee MAD Max Mosley, who subsequently bungled his way out of office (power) to today’s head of the FIA, a one Monsieur Todt, as in Jean Todt the ex-head of Scuderia Ferrari’s F1 racing program.

So here’s your sign Mr. Bernard - as I’m sure you’ll have a  cozy trip home in First Class with Bryan, ‘lil Al and Tony, albeit I think there’s NOT supposed to be a line forming in the Forward Galley; for "Security" reasons, eh?

As in fairness to Dario, he wasn’t the only ‘Juan getting away with AVOIDABLE Contact, as le Hamburgular, nee ‘SeaBass definitely applied a liberal dousing of Secret Sauce upon ‘BULLY-Ray (R. Hunter-Reay) and Gee Wally! Guess What? NO penalty either for the very same move both Ryan’s have been penalized for - along with ‘BULLY-ray, ‘TAG and Conway ALL being placed on Probation... Whilst ‘HULIO “Insert Sponsors Here” What’s-his-Name managed to Toe-Tap his way outta Double Secret Probation - Go Figure? Oh Never Mind!

Now I’ve gotta run over to the Indianapolis White Castle where I hear  ‘R (Robin Miller) is buying Bob Jenkins & The Boyz a round ‘O Sliders - ‘cause they’re magically delicious; Hya!