Monday, February 28, 2011

Tradin’ Paint – the Sequel

So I must say that I found it a tad bit ironic that the day I discovered the news, “Pretty boy Floyd” was busy snappin’ his 0-for-66 winless drought in the Valley of the Sun...

What am I ramblin’ on ‘bout you may ask? Whale in case you haven’t heard, sometime this summer Tony Stewart will swap rides with Lewis Hamilton in an event slated to take place at Watkins Glen Int’l Raceway – which would be a blast to witness and hopefully will be open to the public, as I’d LUV to hear that ‘MERC screaming ‘round the joint!

‘Smoke (Tony Stewart) will buckle himself into a full blown 2010-spec McLaren MP4-25 racecar whilst “Louise ‘JAGUAR” (Hamilton) will do his best Rowdy Holmes impersonation behind the wheel of one of Stewart’s Chevy Cup-cars...

Of course this immediately brought back memories of watching Jeff Gordon swap rides with Juan Pablo Montoya at Indianapolis way back in 2003, which apparently was a precursor for ‘MAC Montoya’s future employment, eh? As I can still see Monty drivin’ too hard into the corner in that No. 24 rainbow warrior machine, Gordon pounding ‘round IMS’s road course at very respectable speed in the Team Willie’s blue & white Williams-BMW and still hear the screeching ‘O Larry Mac’s voice in my head... As hopefully SPEED will do another show a la the ’03 Tradin’ Paint episode.

And lookie ‘Dar – I even stayed away from any jokes ‘bout ‘Smoke not being able to squeeze his backside into the McLaren a la BLOODY ‘NIGE; Hya! Hey! You don’t think I wanna have ‘Smoke throwin’ his helmet at me do Yuhs?

F1: 2011 Constructor - Sauber


(Sauber C30; Source: theformulaoneand motorsportsarchive.wordpress.com)

Team
Launch Date/Venue: January 31 - Valencia
Name: Sauber F1 Team
Base: Hinwil, Switzerland
Former Team Names: Sauber; BMW Sauber
Constructors Titles: 0
Drivers Titles: 0
2010 Standings: 8th; 44-points
2010 Chassis: C29

Team Principal: Peter Sauber
Technical Director: James Key
Seasons: 18 (1993-Present)
Debut Race: 1993 South African GP
Races: 295
Wins: 1
Poles: 1

Chassis
Model: C30
Engine: Ferrari 056/2011
(Upgraded for KERS installation)
Gearbox: Ferrari

TECH: Sauber C30 – Launch Detail and Analysis

Drivers
No. 16) Kamui Kobayashi; Japan
No. 17) R-Sergio Perez; Mexico
Test/Reserve Driver) Esteban Gutierrez

Summary
After the botched attempt of selling the team by BMW, fortunately Peter Sauber was willing to step into the void in order to save his beloved F1 team last year. Thus, after a somewhat perilous 2010 season, albeit with brief flashes of success shown by the Japanese Hard Chargin’ rookie “K-Squared,” (Kamui Kobayashi) the team is now in mucho better financial status thanks largely to its new found Mexican connection with Billionaire Carlos Slim.

This relationship was cemented with the promoting of Mexican GP2 driver Sergio Perez to the teams second race seat; who brings his celebrated TelMex sponsorship to the fold – leading to other Mexican companies joining the Fiesta, most notably Tequila Drinks maker Jose Quervo.

Meanwhile Kobayashi now graduates to the team leader role in his second full season of Formula One, whilst rising Mexican Hot-Hot-Hot! ‘Schu Esteban Gutierrez is elevated to the team’s test/reserve driver role. Gutierrez, the reigning & inaugural GP3 Champion will now contest this year’s GP2 season as he seeks to work his way into a fulltime Gran Primo Piloto ride in the near future, whilst serving out his third driver team role.

Hopefully the C30 will be an improvement over the recalcitrant C29, albeit, the little Minnowesqe team could struggle bringing Perez up-to-speed, but I hope to see the Sauber Boyz continue an upward trend towards the vaunted Constructors Title fight, as I’d enjoy seeing them leapfrog past Vijay Mallya...

Sauber launches C30

Sauber C30: Pictures

Sauber C30: Launch notes

Friday, February 25, 2011

Kubica moved from Intensive Care to begin Rehabilitation

Severely injured Formula 1 Star Robert Kubica has been transferred from the Intensive Care Ward to his own private large room in the Rehabilitation Wing and is keen to begin his recovery. His doctor says that Robert will stay there to ensure that no infections occur and then be re-assessed in a Fortnight before discussing his next move...

Dr. Rossello happy with Robert Kubica's recovery so far

Economy extinguishes De Ferran Dragon’s flames

This is sad news to me... As I can still recall being overly excited ‘bout the little team that could way back in 2007 – when I even inquired ‘bout trying to obtain a yellow Luczo Dragon Racing hat when some upstart named Ryan Briscoe finished ahead of some Pipsqueak named Princess... Who the following May showed off her famous perma-POUT dance moves to the newly anointed Penske Racing driver whilst having a tizzy ‘N stompin’ down Pitlane before somebody named Major Burns, a.k.a. Charles Burns politely refrained DannaWho?

And perhaps Y’all know I’m a big fan of Gil de Ferran – even having managed to obtain his autograph courtesy of Don Kay when he was still running his American Le Mans Series Sports Car team... Thus it was disappointing to read this morning that De Ferran Dragon Racing has shuttered its IndyCar operation, on the heels of Tony Kanaan’s revelations that he lacked the necessary funding to race fulltime this season.

NO word on what will ultimately happen to Mr. De Ferran, the DDR crew of 15-employees or the related single seater equipment – which frankly – SUCKS!

Pit Pass: De Ferran Dragon Racing closes for lack of sponsorship

Guess Steven Luczo is too busy focusing upon his newest business venture – the Major League Soccer’s (MLS) Vancouver Whitecaps he co-owns with somebody named Steve Nash, whilst perhaps Jay Penske’s gone back to selling rare books instead?

Dragonslayers?

F1 Constructor: Lotus-Renault GP


(Renault R31; Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Team
Name: Lotus-Renault GP
Base: Enstone, Oxfordshire; United Kingdom
Former Team Names: Renault Sport; Toleman; Benetton; Renault F1
Prior Years: 1977-2010
Debut Race: 1977 British GP
Constructors Titles: 3 (1995, 2005-06)
Drivers Titles: 4 (1994-95, 2005-06)
2010 Standings: 5th; 163-points
2010 Chassis: R30

Team Principal: Eric Boullier
Managing Director: Jean-François Caubet
Technical Director: James Allison
Seasons: 1 (2011)
First Race: 2011 Australian GP
Races: 0
Wins: 0
Poles: 0

Chassis
Model: R31
Engine: RS27-2011
(Upgraded for KERS installation)
Gearbox: Lotus-Renault

TECH: Renault R31 Front Exit Exhausts (FEE) – Explained

Drivers
No. 9) Nick Heidfeld; Germany
No. 10) Vitaly Petrov; Russia
Third Drivers) Bruno Senna, Romain Grosjean
Reserve Drivers) Ho-Pin Tung, Fairuz Fauzy, Jan Charouz
IR) Robert Kubica; Poland (Injured Reserve)

Summary
This once mighty F1 team has been thoroughly involved in the nefarious Lotus moniker anglings that have continued to ratchet-up over the latter portion of 2010 – spilling into 2011 and the Courtrooms of London. In a never ending squabble between Tony Fernandes’s minnowesqe Lotus Racing concern against the might of the Malaysian Government and its pro-Group Lotus support who claim to be the rightful owners of the Lotus moniker – as we tirelessly await the eventual outcome of this legal squabble in London’s High Court sometime this year...

Thus, at the moment, the team which saw former owner Renault sell its remaining 25% share to Group Lotus will be known as Lotus-Renault GP for the time being, having combined forces with Gerard Lopez’s Genii Capitol Investment firm.

The team’s driver line-up remains unchanged from last year, after some public shenanigan’s suggesting that Russian driver Vitaly Petrov may not be retained – but really? Is this venture that wishes to crack the Russian market really gonna send Petrov to Siberia? Meeze-thinks NOT! As the young Rooskie was re-signed for a further 2-years, which coincides nicely with the 2013 season, when Formula 1 enters a new engine formulae...

Look for lead driver Robert Kubica to continue to impress, and possibly even win a race? As the main hope is for Petrov to be more consistent and help the squad retain its fifth place standing or even potentially move up to fourth place in the Constructors championship.

Previous test drivers Jerome d'Ambrosio & Ho-Pin Tung have moved on to Formula 1 and IndyCar race seats respectively. (Still awaiting confirmation upon Ho-Pin Tung’s IndyCar drive with FAZT...)

Jan Charouz apparently remains with the renamed F1 Team, albeit I thought I’d seen a story claiming he’d become another Pawn in the Tit-for-Tat shagging between Lotus2.0 ‘N Lotus3! By moving to rival Team Lotus... Yet LRGP’s website claims the Czech lad will remain on the squad’s books as part of its burgeoning reserve driver fleet this season.

Meanwhile, Malaysian Fairuz Fauzy, formally the third driver at Lotus Racing made the jump to Lotus Renault for a reserve role – I’m guessing with some sorta copious plying ‘O Group Lotus Dinero?

UPDATE
Obviously Lotus Renault’s world was rocked upside-down on Sunday, February 6th when lead driver Robert Kubica suffered his devastating accident while participating in a minor Rallying event in Italy, in which his right hand was severely injured along with multiple fractures to his leg, arm, shoulder and elbow – as the Polish F1 Star will most assuredly mist the 2011 Formula One season while recovering from this frightening accident.

Therefore the team has decided to install the vastly experienced Nick Heidfeld as Kubica’s replacement – having confirmed the German driver on February 16th, the very exact day that Kubica had his final elbow surgery, as its worth noting that ‘Quick Nick was Robert’s teammate at BMW Sauber for a few seasons...

Renault R31 revealed

Renault R31: Pictures

Renault R31: Launch notes

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Kanaan in the running for Las Vegas Finale bonus?

Previously I scribbled ‘bout how the 2011 INDYCAR! Season was getting’ Curious ‘N Curiouser... As I not only awoke to a tranquil blanket “O white stuff, a.k.a. SNOW here in the Pacific Northwest... Hey; Seattle ONLY sleeps, Err STOPS! When it snows here! But I digress...

Purusing that fine Indianapolis Fish Wrap known as the IndyStar, mainly duh Sports section... I came upon Kurty Cavin’s breaking news bout TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” (Kanaan) apparently having been unable to seal the dealio to drive for his friend Gil De Ferran’s De Ferran Dragon Racing Team; SHEISA!

Kanaan's ride hits the wall

Thus, I believe this makes Messer Kanaan currently eligible for the vaunted $5.0 million bonus prize for anybody outside of the IndyCar series potentially capable of claiming this ‘Mega cheque for winning the Los Wages Season Finale event, right?

Which also, apparently ANYBODY with a Heartbeat - and I mean ANYBODY; You, your Better Half, your Kids; HELL! Even Fluffy or Lassie (provided they’ve bought any Indy Car Series ticket this season) will be “Eligible” for a FREE ticket to the B-I-G Fall Finale Humdinger Open Wheel event in Sin City... All Yuhs haveda do is get there ‘N find some place to stay...

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly from February 22nd

F1 Constructor: Team Lotus


(Lotus T-128; Source: adamcooperf1.com)

Team
Launch Date/Venue: January 31 - Internets
Name: Team Lotus
Base: Hingham, Norfolk; United Kingdom
Former Team Name: Lotus Racing
Constructors Titles: 0
Drivers Titles: 0
2010 Standings: 10th; 0-points
2010 Chassi: T-127

Team Principal: Tony Fernandes
CEO: Riad Asmat
Chief Technology Officer: Mike Gascoyne
Seasons: 2 (2010 - Debut Season)
Debut Race: 2010 Bahrain GP
Races: 19
Wins: 0
Poles: 0

Chassis
Model: T-128
Engine: Renault RS27
Gearbox: Red Bull Technology

TECH: Blade Roll Structures – Legality (Lotus & Force India)

Drivers
No. 20) Jarno Trulli; Italy
No. 21) Heikki Kovalainen; Finland
Third Driver) Karun Chandhok*
Reserve Drivers) Davide Valsecchi, Luiz Razia
*NOTE: * = Still awaiting Confirmation)

Summary
Unfortunately, it seems like there’s more press over the ridiculously STUPID name squabble continuing on between Tony Fernandes’s Team Lotus 2.0 vs. Group Lotuses Dany Bahar ‘N his Lotus-Renault-GenII X-P caladrocious racing team...

More Lotus BULLSH*T

Thus, the 2011 season will begin with four racing cars using the name Lotus; two black & gold “JPS-retro” throwback chassis sporting the word Lotus on the rear wing. While Team Lotus perceivably will continue its green & yellow retro paint scheme with the word Air Asia on its rear wing; Oh Never Mind!

Fernandes & Co. have hopefully upped-the-ante (Ontrack) this season by dumping their Cosworth CA 2010 lump along with its unreliable XTrac Gearbox in favour of le Reggie, a.k.a. Renault. As Mike Gascoyne’s merry ‘lil crew ‘O Technicians feverishly puts the finishing touches upon this year’s T-128 powered by the Renault RS27, although reputedly the Hingham-based team won’t be running KERS and thus has reverted to a 2009-spec Red Bull Technology Gearbox, as RBT is supplying the rear end of the T-128 chassis...

Hmm? It’ll be interesting to see if this design philosophy results in a BRAWN GP/Red Bull Racing outcome – or an Ahem – Virgin/Hispania performance deficit, eh?

Meanwhile, the team’s race drivers remain unchanged for the squad’s Sophomore outing, although the mix ‘N match, Err plug ‘N play antics between the two warring LOTI-factions continues on with the swapping of reserve drivers – which seem like nothing more then glorified simulator operators these days... As Group Lotus, Err, Lotus-Renault GP shagged Fairuz Fauzy from Team Lotus – who were probably not too bothered by his leaving, eh? While I’m assuming that Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok’s new Team Lotus leather bomber jacket; which he was caught modeling at Valencia fits him like a glove...

Meanwhile the legal wrangling heads to court shortly, and won’t it be nice when this is all over? Alas – as long as Tony Fernandes is successful! But I digress...

Lotus-Lotus On the Wall

Thus, the teams primary reserve driver will most likely be the dispatched Indian, nee Karun Chandhok, whilst Davide Valsecchi & Luiz Razia will also be on the books, albeit primarily involved as the team Air Asia GP2 race drivers...

Team Lotus launches 2011 Challenger

Lotus T-128: Pictures

LotusT-128: Launch notes