Smearing the Sanctity of Indianapolis, again?

A few thought bubbles have been floatin' round thy hallowed halls 'O NoFendersville lately, mostly in regards to the speculation over perhaps hosting an IndyCar race at the beginning of May at Mother Speedway going Clockwise.. As in a Road Race upon Indianapolis Motor Speedway's much lamented "Mickey Mouse" infield circuit that I believe goes down Hulman Road? Or is it Boulevard? (Actually its Hulman Boulevard, having just caught the FS1 Boyz talking 'bout I-T during the MOTO GP broadcast...) As we won't get into a lather over the track's road  course circuit, as isn't it funny how nobody ever berates DayToner's infield circuit, right?

Now I understand the necessity of hosting more than one event per year at thee Brickyard, I mean heavens me, how will they ever pay back that "Gubberment" loan? Y'all know the one that came ironically after the much delayed lawsuit over the hallowed facilities LACK of Accessibility for the Disabled...

IMS Hand in Glove - Or ringing the bellfor Subsidy?

Thus comes word from J. Douglas Bolles that at least one IndyCar will test at the Speedway most likely in September, with a possibility of two cars running the road course as a feasibility study for a potential future (2014) event at Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

And I won't get all warbled up over how the thought of an IndyCar road race is blasphemous, but really IMS? A FREAKIN' road race as the kickoff to the Month of May; Err 12-days of May; WTF? I mean why not just slit your wrists completely and run it the night before the 500 instead...

IndyCar coming to IMS for Road Coursetest

As I really DON'T think there's any necessary need to host an IndyCar race upon the Brickyard's road circuit anywhere near the Month of May, after all isn't that when we're supposed to be "Back Home in Indiana" at some 'lil 'Ol 500-miler Oval race? But hey, how 'bout running it on Labour Day weekend instead since Baltimore's date is  free next year. Oh, that's right we wouldn't want to compete with the NHRA Nitro Nats at Lucas Oil Raceway, right?

And I know this would NEVER happen, but how 'bout running a double header with the MOTO GP? As I'd buy a ticket to that...

So I get the need to make MORE money, which I'm certainly NOT doing, but at what expense? I mean how am I supposed to justify flying cross country twice to Indianapolis? Which leads me to my next comment, which originally had me growlin' at Kevin Lee during a recent Trackside show once again, when stating that IndyCar needed to pay respect to Eddie Gossage and show him some 'LUV in regards to Texas Motor Speedway's loyalty to the series for 25yrs; URGH! In regards to Eddie's nose potentially being outta joint over Indy Cars racing at his next door neighbor's Circuit Of The America's (COTA) track... Which I would pick ANY day over watching Indy Cars running round the Speedway's road course!

Now I'm NOT comparing the two venues as comparable, (Texas v Portland) but Uhm Kevin, what say 'Ye over Portland's loyalty to hosting its CART/Champ Car event and paying the sanctioning fee for twenty-five years before getting the knife...

Thus it seems to me that IndyCar is just being lazy and taking the easy way out by holding another race at IMS in order to pump up its coffers instead of working with a promoter to bring the sport to a locale that currently doesn't host an IndyCar event, especially since I get overly tired about hearing the wankering over Market Saturation! As there are so many good venues with loyal fans across the nation that the series isn't willing to interact with... Can Y'all say Portland, Vancouver BC, Laguna Seca, Phoenix, Road America, Watkins Glen, Edmonton, etc; Oh Never Mind!

And Look Ma; Err Mark Miles,  I won't even lament Portland's lack of an IndyCar race, Honest!

But seriously, if this goes ahead as it  seems like it will, then I do NOT want to hear one more FREAKIN' word 'bout dwindling attendance at the Speedway, too many tracks in the Midwest or whatever BULLSHIT Y'all will rustle up instead as the reason NOBODY watches IndyCar...

Red Bull's Version of Tradin' Paint

Wanted to use the words 'Aussie Swap in the title, since to nobody's surprise, especially after NBCSN's 'Wee Willy Buxom's (Will Buxton) Post-race interview at Spa suggested the beaming ear-to-ear smile on the 'aussie's face wasn't for his 10th place finish...

Thus, Red Bull Racing has finally announced the obvious by confirming Daniel Ricciardo  as Mark Webber's replacement in 2014, which means that now the most coveted seat is potentially Felipe Massa's...

Ricciardo  Finally Confirmed by Red Bull for 2014

Baltimore Bashathon...

So many stories - so little time... As I basically just sat Dumbfounded over what simply appeared to be Indy Cars version of the Bump 'N run on the city streets "O Baltimore...

As it all began with what was a very annoying two Dazes 'O Marty Snyder's asking Scott Dixon the exact same hopefully "incendiary" question about Sonoma - as I thought wait a moment, they're (NBCSN) playing the same interview over again a day later?

Then there was what seemingly appeared to be Derrick; Err why did Warwick's last name jump inside my head? Perhaps 'cause he was the guest Race Steward at the Belgian GP... As what I meant to say was Derrick Walker's Mea Culpa over the Pitlane Shenanigans at Sonoma, which effectively sounded to me like a really LAME attempt at apologizing to Scott Dixon & TCGR over the Gamesmanship which does occur upon Pitlane - as I thought Townsend Bell's multiple videotape examples of several Pit Crews Gamesmanship was excellent. As I won't bother saying I've known this all along, but it's just one more example of Indy Cars officiating oversight, perhaps? As I do have to say I like the way Walker's seemingly become the new Sherriff in Town...

New IndyCar Pitlane Pit Box markings instituted...

And then I was just sitting there screaming at thee 'Telie saying, if 'HULIO HIT a Pit Crew member then that's an immediate PENALTY! As it seems like it took overly long for that call to be made, and then I further castigated the broadcast by saying that Castroneves CANNOT serve his black flag Stop 'N Go penalty under a Pitstop!

And then there was thee WRECK! As I suppose we'll never truly know, but Will Power almost seemed a 'Wee bit too Sheepish over his taking out Scott Dixon, as surely Power's earned massive points with The Captain towards helping the Golden Child of Team Penske enlarge his points lead, right? As I'm just simply NOT impressed with Helio's championship run-to-date.

But I was screaming in joy over "Symone Pagenoe's" (Simon Pagenaud) BAD ARSE late race driving to the win, his second of his IndyCar career & second of the season, while Joseph 'STUD Newgarden showed off his ultimate pace by scoring his debutant BIG CARZ podium with a fine runner-up finish, as I mean what more endorsement can Y'all ask for than 4-time ICS Champion Dario Franchitti saying you're "Wicked Fast!" (Thru the chicane...)

And all I could say for le 'Hamburgular, nee Sebastain Bourdais is "GET OVER IT!" As he stole a probable podium from Justin 'B-I-G UNIT Wilson and seemingly should have been penalized for avoidable contact... As once again I'm just left shaking my head 'N wonderin' why in thee HELL! Wilson won't be given a top ride? I mean C'mon 'Cheep, if the TK or Hinchcliffe deals fall thru, then why not put Wilson in the fourth 'G2 car alongside Charlie Kimball...

Thus, was that a real IndyCar race? NO! NOT really, as in the immortal words 'O Professor (Steve) Matchett? There was simply way too MUCH Argie-Bargey goin' on the mean streets 'O Baltimore... While the really impressive; NOT! Aspect of the Thunderclap heard at Baltimore's inner-harbour is the fact that we'll have to wait a further 5-weeks 'til the Boyz go racing again, as I'd almost rather have HULIO win the title since the season's been such an Abomination anywayz, as seriously IndyCar, you couldn't find a venue to run as a one-off to fill in the ridiculously LONG gap between Baltimore and Houston? Hmm? Perhaps it's a good thing that Fontana's so DAMN FAR away, as hopefully the Rim fire will be out by then?

And Oh, My, FUCKING Gawd! I never knew that Dick was such an offensive word? I mean C'mon Derrick & IndyCar, QUIT trying to muzzle the drivers personalities! As I'm certainly hoping that Dixon doesn't get a penalty or fine for  throwin' down upon Race Control's Beaux Barfield, yet again though, if he doesn't, then it's a pretty B-I-G GAFF of inconsistency after John "Print This!" Barnes got fined for complaining publicly over Turbogate, as I'm sure glad I'm not the Chief Steward! While I'm not really sure if Indy Cars racing is so GURR-REAT!!! Lately? But at least we do seem to have some new talent emerging, as I'd say the torch just got passed to Pagenaud by 'SeaBass like I-T or NOT!

Dixon can only fume over latest controversy

Luhr Speaks about his first Outing in an Indy Car

As Y'all know, I'm a fan of Lucas Luhr's - hoping that his first race experience behind the wheel of the second SFHR entry at Sonoma is successful, as apparently the team was contractually obligated to run a second car  in one event this year, but hopefully we'll gain the might of Greg Pickett, Luhr and Muscle Milk next year in Indy Cars...

VIDEO: Luhr on his Sonoma test

German Renaissance in IndyCar racing - Part II

So, are Y'all salivating over what thee answer is to my Questione? A la:

Who was the last German IndyCar driver to race in Indy Cars?

As the name that came most prominently to my lips immediately was Arnd Meier - swearing he was the Dude I saw racing for Dale Coyne in Champ Car all those many Moons ago, I mean Y'all do recall as thee Wurld 'O chumpCarz; Err champ Car Turns, right?

but alas OLD age and the passing of time plays great tricks upon thee mind, eh?

As it was actually the very unknown Michael Krumm who made a few scant appearances for Team PRG/Dale Coyne at the beginning of the new millennium, when I must have watched Krumm at the wheel of one of Coyne’s Lola/Ford’s in 2001, since all I remember is that the last German drove for you guessed I-T! The never ending revolving door of aspiring drivers making 'Hay with Dale Coyne Racing...

Whilst another driver from Der Fatherland to ply his trade in CART was ex-Formula 1 Piloto Christian Danner from 1992-97, while the most prominent German I know from the Championship Auto Racing Teams (CART) era is Dominic Dobson, (1985-94) who was recently panned by George Phillips; YIKES!  Easy B-I-G Feller, as I think you’re somewhat off the mark there, as I was originally gonna comment upon Oil Pressure’s No. 10 pick for Bad Drivers at Indy, especially since Dobson holds el Special place in my Heart - since after all he was the very first local Seattle driver I ever saw race, no less for my original Hometeam Bayside Racing, so give him a break, wills Yuh George!

Indy's Worst Drivers for Past Twenty Years

And as typical, this story's research is by NO means conclusive towards potential Germans who've previously raced in Indy Cars - so if I missed somebody between the aforementioned drivers, then please forgive me...

Michael Krumm

Team: Dale Coyne Racing

Year: 2001

For reasons unknown I recall watching this driver make his two starts for Dale Coyne in his 'Uber short lived CART career, bursting upon the scene at the '01 season opening race at Monterey, NO! The other Monterey, as in Mexico - running in the heart of an industrial district. As the few thingys I can find upon him claim that it was a collabrative effort actually called Coyne Racing/Team PRG of which I don't recall or have any info upon.

In Monterey, the team's two drivers were Luiz Garcia Jr.,  and Krumm, who both apparently DNF'ed (Did Not Finish) due to engine maladies, most notably their Ford 'lumps having gone KUH-BLAMOE!

Next up Krumm made his second and final CART start at Long Beach to which I don't know the outcome... With Krumm then going onto a career of racing in Japan, having married Japanese Tennis Star Kimiko Date-Krumm in Tokyo in 2001, where the couple resides. And ironically, or Karmically? His last major championship was the  FIA GT1 crown co-driving with some 'Kat named Luhr! As in Lucas Luhr, as apparently Krumm's Japanese links to Nissan have now helped him to get a day's outing at Winton 'Down Under testing a V8 Supercar, driving the Nissan Ultima before Jetting back to Japan to contest a Super GT race...

 

Arnd Meier

Teams: Project Indy; Davis Racing

Years: 1997-98

Have NO clue who Hasseroder/Marcelo/Hawaiian Tropic was... As this is the entrant's name listed upon Meier's chassis during his rookie season, albeit I'd ARSE-sume that Marcelo was somehow related to the late Jovy Marcelo, perhas? As we all know who that Suntan sponsor is, as I've just learned that Project Indy was an offshoot of Euromotorsports chief mechanic  Andreas Leberle and ironically it was the previous team that Christian Danner had driven for.

And Meier certainly was NO slouch, having finished as the meat in the sandwich of the 1996 German Formula 3 championship, with Formula 1 drivers Jarno Trulli winning the title and Nick Heidfeld third, as Arnd  finished 12th at Michigan in '97 and ironically finished one place ahead (30th) of countryman Danner in that year's points standings.

And I'm noticing a theme here, as the European drivers seem to excel at Road America, which is where Meier scored his best CART result in the '98 season driving the then recalcitrant Lola chassis, bouncing between the T97/00 & T98/00-spec's for the Minnowesqe and virtually unknown Davis Racing team when Reynard ruled the roost. With Meier scoring his career best finish of 10th place at Elkhart Lake before returning to Europe the following season - having just celebrated turning thee B-I-G 4-Oh this March 1st...

Christian Danner

Teams: Euromotorsports; Project Indy; Payton/Coyne Racing

Years: 1993-95, 1997

Christian is the only one of this trio of past drivers (chronicled) to have contested Formula 1, having graduated to the Pinnacle of Motorsports in 1986 upon having won the inaugural European F3000 championship the year prior.

Unfortunately for Danner, he could only find refuge with the Minnowesqe German Zakspeed team, along with stints at Osella, Arrows and Rial, the latter culminating with his best finish in F1 - coming at the inaugural USGP in Phoenix, Arizona, sponsored by Iceberg - which was pretty ironic since the race was held on June 4, 1989 and it was 104 degrees-f, as your humble No Fenders scribe was garnering his F1 baptism that day... As basically Danner was one of the seven drivers to actually finish the race - due to the oppressive HEAT! As Christian just missed out upon the podium with a fourth place finish...

Phoenix's Iceberg

Although I noted 1992-97 above, I couldn't find any data for Christian competing in CART in '92, with his name being listed as finishing 31st in the 1993 CART Point Standings - driving that year for Euromotosports/Andrea Moda/AGIP aboard a Lola T92/00-Chevrolet with three finishes listed, with a best placing of 11th at Road America.

For 1994-95, Danner drove for the relatively  unknown Project Indy team, running a Lola T93/00-Ford with his only two listed finishes being a pair of 12th places at Detroit & Elkhart Lake - finishing 30th in that year's Drivers points standings.

The following year (1995) would include both Christian's highest place finish in a race and the overall points standings, as although the team had stepped up with a Reynard 94i/Ford for Danner that year, he'd drive his old Lola T93/00-Ford to a seventh place finish at the season opening Miami event, which would see him capture 25th in the points standings that year.

, For his final season in Indy Cars, apparently having taken a year off from the 'BIG CARZ, Danner joined Payton/Coyne Racing where he scored another 12th place finish at Detroit in a fairly blase season's run to 31st in the points standings...