Slaying the Dragon?

So the Katherine Legge v Dragon Racing saga is getting worse ‘N worse, with battle lines definitely being drawn - as now comes word of le ‘Hamburgular, nee Sebastain Bourdais’s forked tongue... Reportedly claiming to ESPN.com that Thy ‘Leggy Juan had tested in December and was simply “WEAK” and hence this led to her dismissal, while now ‘SeaBass claims he was talking instead about an Open test Legge participated in prior to the season ending race at Fontana.

Now I’m aware that people can be misquoted, or have something lost in translation, but; WTF? Why is bourdais even involving himself in this tiff? Or is he simply trying to find favour with Jay ‘Pissinbootz Penske and Scott Painter by throwing Legge under the bus?

Legge denies Bourdais claim she tested IndyCar

And I’ve known for years there’s NO such thing as an iron clad contract in motor racing, especially at the sport’s pinnacle, which most likely is why Formula 1 has the Contract Recognition Board office in Switzerland to interpret such Machiavellian maneuverings by devious team owners or renegade drivers, which perhaps IndyCar needs to follow suit?

Unfortunately Legge isn’t the first driver to toil privately to bring a sponsor to the sport and then see all of their hard work rewarded by a swift boot up the backside as said sponsor decides to go in a “new direction...” Case in point I believe would be Jay ‘Funnyman Howard’s association with Service Central, when Jay claimed he’d worked a year-plus to bring them to Indy Cars and poof! We all remember how they left Jay and Sarah Fisher to go along with Graham Rahal to thee ‘Cheepster’s B-team, aka G2 in Brownsburg as primary sponsor of the now possibly defunct No. 38 Service Central Chip Ganassi Racing car - which I ARSE-sume followed the young Rahal to his new ride?

And I have to say I agree with the OLDEST IndyCar Blogger Geo. Phillips about how Sebastian Saavedra is a “Punk” (my words) for his unceremonious ditching of Bryan Herta Autosports Indy Lights team; and now with Bourdais jumping on the Bandwagon, it truly appears Penske Jnr. Has truly surrounded himself with his favourite type ‘O drivers...

Yeah, I’ve never met Jay Penske, and now certainly have NO intentions of trying to do so... As its funny to Mwah how just one year ago I’d been pining for acquiring a Dragon Racing cap, which I’m thankful I never pursued!

And I realize a two-minute meeting in an autograph line at a Portland Champ Car autograph session (some six-plus years ago) is no way to truly judge drivers; BUTT! Katherine Legge was polite, friendly, engaging and totally willing to sign my Molson Indy poster where as Bourdais simply gave me the silent treatment and gave me  a STUPID McDougal’s hero card instead - even though I  was brandishing said poster in front of him! All of which I’ve previously scribbled ‘bout - and you’d think the drivers would have more interaction with a blind person wielding a white cane, eh?

Champ Car sends Devoted Fan Fuming

Thus while I hate to see a driver throwing the words legal action about, and hope it doesn’t spell the end of her stillborn Open Wheel Racing career, I sincerely hope Katherine takes Jay, Scott and TrueCar to the cleaners!

While Legge, like many of the females who’ve tried plying their trade in Indy Cars has really never had a golden chance, aka  a top flight ride like Queen Danica at Mikey’s team; URGH! Or even better yet those dreaded red and white cars. Granted, Legge’s debut B-I-G ‘CARZ rookie season was with PKV Racing in 2006, yet I’m not sure they were ever a contender? Having only won one race up to that point with ‘Shorty, nee Cristiano da Matta... (Portland, 2005)

Legge was then thrusted sideways to the Minnowesqe Dale Coyne Racing team to make way for two Red Bull satchel carrying ‘Boyz for her sophomore season, where at least she didn’t stuff two chassis in a single weekend like Oriel “Suitcase” Servia did, With her Champ Car highlight reel X-Games summersault at Road America being her most talked about accomplishment, instead of her brace of sixth place finishes.

Thus, I’d find it really refreshing if Chip Ganassi had the Kuhoonas to hire Katherine Legge for the No. 38 car currently in limbo, I mean C’mon Target; surely you could find the scratch to make this happen, right? Hell, may be even cleverly tie it in with some female brand you currently sell?

And I know its nothing new but, its pretty disappointing to think that Indy Cars is totally reliant upon whose got the biggest suitcase ‘O Dinero backing his/her ride these days, but! This doesn’t surprise me one iota after soldiering on thru the as thee World ‘O Chump Carz Turns who’s gotz duh biggest cheque Soapbox era ‘til the bitter end of its death nail...

Thus, I’m trying mightily to not get all wound up over who’s the bad guy or girl this season, and even stooped so low to watch that made-for-television thingy now called the Sprint Unlimited last Saturday Nite and was immediately turned off by ‘Ol DW screaming Boogity-Boogity-Boogity! And following it up by saying these are the BEST drivers in the world! Really; Whiskey-Tango Foxtrot??? Danica with her one IndyCar win vs. Legge tripling that in Atlantics and eight-time ICS winner Ryan Briscoe apparently out of a fulltime ride in Indy Cars this year; WTF? Oh Never Mind! As so much for what I just heard Ringo Star croon on Breakfast with The Beatles: “All I gotta do is act Naturally...” NOT!

INDYCAR: Briscoe open to Sports Car opportunities

IMS Hand in Glove - Or ringing the bell for Subsidy?

I’m guessing its just Mwah, but! Don’t Y’all find it funny; Ha Ha? Over the timing of the announcement and introduction of legislation for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway to finally go on the dole by asking for a ‘Mega $100m handout; especially since the IMS just finally settled a ridiculously LONG lawsuit over the lack of Accessibility at the hallowed grounds...

What would Mr. Hulman do?

And I’m not claiming they’re related, since listening to Mark “IM THE BOSS!” Miles on Trackside last Tuesday night, where he told Kevin Lee that the handout had been in work prior to his appointment - believing it had been broached some two years ago... Which would have been on the Randy Bernard watch, eh? NOT claiming it was his idea either...

Yet as a visually impaired (legally blind) ‘Vurd Botcherer I’ve certainly experienced my trials ‘N tribulations of navigating the hallowed grounds of IMS, albeit the Yellow Shirts have been very accommodating to Mwah over the years personally, and seem to improve yearly - with my biggest issue being attending the 2006 USGP and there wasn’t access to an elevator for the then 87-year old wheelchair bound ‘Auntie Harriet. Not to mention telling us the handicap parking lot was filled up even though I’d purchased said parking spot pass months prior, for which no refund was ever issued!

As I won’t bother Y’all ‘bout how horrific it was trying to get wheelchair seating access that relatively humid July; 97 degrees-f on race day, forcing an elderly woman to bake in the sun for countless hours on those oh so comfortable shiny silver aluminum grandstand seats... Or how we missed a large portion of the Formula 1 qualifying session the day prior because there weren’t any elevators open for public use! (All of which I expounded upon in a letter to IMS that never received even a cursory reply...)

Thus, I just wonder at what point the IMS Brain trust saw the writing on the wall in regards to losing their lawsuit over Accessibility and then the plan was hatched to make the people pay for I-T instead of using our own money?

Speedway agrees to major overhaul in ADA settlement

I enjoyed hearing new Hulman Co CEO Mark Miles speak for the first time on Trackside and he sounded pretty sharp, astute and a take charge kind of guy. Yet I found it a bit disturbing how Curt Cavin tried asking him twice specifically how Accessibility upgrading would proceed - in regards to ADA compliance presumably, and Chirp Chirp! Miles totally side stepped Curt with two NON answers.

And I understand the temptation to spend somebody else’s money and totally understand the argument everybodies doing I-T! Like as in any new or previous sporting stadium project, and HELL! Even good ‘Ol ‘RASSCAR is getting$100m cash infusion via the Fiscal Cliff legislation recently signed off upon.

It’s just that as a resident of a small town whose public transportation has been totally gutted, I cannot help but ponder who’ll suffer at the expense of IMS collecting this money?

Jay Penske sends Katherine Legge the ultimate Valentines gift!

I must say that I was genuinely surprised by the announcement that Dragon Racing’s second seat, the No. 6 entry widely tipped to belong to Katherine Legge was instead being occupied by ‘S-Squared, aka Sebastian Saavedra this season instead when announced upon Tuesday. Being the very same day I’d mused to Lisa how refreshing it was not having any current Villains in motor racing at the moment, a byproduct of the excruciatingly long off season and how I’d hoped to enjoy the upcoming season without any but highly doubted that would happen. And then viola; SHUHZAMM! Enter my hero Jay ‘Pissinbootz Penske; Tuh Duh!

This action to replace Legge was taken by Penske “Jnr,” who apparently enjoys the shadyness of Hollywood and TrueCar’s CEO Scott Painter, who allegedly perceive Saavedra to be a better candidate then Thy ‘Leggy Juan this year and naturally Katherine Legge has every right to be royally pissed about her unceremonious sacking!

 “In a terse statement, Legge said she had a two-year contract with Dragon and the team stole sponsor TrueCar for Saavedra.”
"I firmly believe that Dragon Racing and TrueCar cannot proceed without me and I will be taking legal action to protect my rights," Legge said.”

As last year’s trials ‘N tribulations of the Dragon Racing teams sophomore season have already been well documented - with the abortive effort of utilizing ‘Luddi-lumps to start the year before suing Lotus to dump the woefully inadequate “Powered by Lotus” engines in favour of the Bowtie, albeit only securing a single engine supply after Indianapolis where the team was granted two Chevy’s and Legge made her Indy 500 debut successfully, finishing 22^nd after passing her Rookie Orientation at the last moment.

"It was a very difficult season last year, we did very little testing and I was made to sit out of some of the races," said Legge, who also alleged her quest for sponsorship was hurt by Penske's arrest in August for allegedly breaking into the Nantucket Yacht Club and later urinating on the boots of a woman who confronted him in the parking lot.

"Jay Penske's actions in Nantucket really hurt my ability to find additional and personal sponsors, and it was highly embarrassing, especially with the message that we were trying to portray regarding the empowerment of women in motorsport,"

Penske Sons simply Not Cut from Same Cloth as the Captain

Legge also asserted that Jay Penske had promised Painter to bring Penske Auto Groups onboard as additional sponsors to her No. 6 TrueCar entry after she brought Truecar to Dragon, but this never materialized.

Legge finished off with some sharp British wit by claiming;

"I can tell you that I feel like I have been treated very unfairly in all of this and the last thing I feel at the moment is `Empowered!'"

 INDYCAR: Katherine Legge seeking legal options

Hmm? Somehow I doubt that Legge and Jay’s new squeeze Mrs. Melloncamp will be spending time trading hairstyle & makeup tips anytime soon, eh?

(Quotes taken from AP’s Jenna Fryer story Legge threatens Legal Action against Dragon Racing. Source: seattletimes.com)

Queen of Dance...

Queen of the modern dance - Isadora Duncan. (Source: lkwdpl.org)

Nope! It AIN’T Queen Danica; although she indeed is the Queen of another type of dance, but we’ll leave that for another day - especially since she’s probably busy with ‘Ricky-boy, albeit traditionally I post my oh so clever ditty in honour of thy Queen upon this most special day of days...

Ode to DannaCar!

This story instead was inspired by that marvelous ‘lil book I just can’t quit raving ‘bout called: They Went That-a-Way by Malcolm Forbes, and instead I found the following tale about a different sort of dancer most intriguing...

As this Femme Fatale is none other than the long forgotten about stage performer extraordinaire named Isadora Duncan whose exploits probably rank right up there with “Helle Nice”, another prolific dancer of the day, albeit Nice’s death was far less flamboyant...

Isadora Duncan was born in San Francisco on May 27, 1877 - a long, long time ago; as this riske dancer who frowned upon the institution of marriage sired two illegitimate children to two different men, who sadly were both killed unexpectedly in 1913 when the parked, driverless car they were sitting in tragically rolled downhill and plunged into the Seine River.

Duncan did later marry a Soviet poet who committed suicide after she divorced him and herself later tried committing suicide along with being involved in two serious automobile accidents.

Yet this most flamboyant dancer who was credited with the creation of modern dance would be banned from performing in Boston in 1922 due to her thinly translucent costumes she wore upon stage! Yet being more popular abroad, she chose to live in Europe instead.

And according to Forbes, Isadora was known to prance around the streets of Paris clad only in a Roman toga complete with bare legs and sandals; Ooh la la mon cherrie...

On the evening of September 14, 1927, after having spent the evening walking a Paris promenade, the always fashionably dressed Duncan, replete with a long flowing hand painted red silk scarf around her neck, with long tresses of the scarf freely flowing behind her backside climbed aboard a Sports Car she’d previously approached the owner about going in for a ride. And since Y’all have most likely already kerb hopped to the conclusion I won’t make you wait any longer...

Isadora Duncan

May 27, 1877 - Sept 14, 1927

Exotic Dancer killed by scarf caught in Bugatti’s wheel - a racing driver behind the keyboard?

Ah, this is where the story gets interesting, along with reputedly having been misrepresented over ‘N over on that all knowing world-wide-web thingy... As even Malcolm Forbes seems to have fallen foul of this romantic notion that Duncan perished at the fate of a Bugatti Sports Car; as the mystery man behind the wheel that fateful night has since been identified as Benoît Falchetto who reportedly was of French-Italian lineage, served as an Italian pilot during World War I, sparingly raced automobiles between 1928-35, along with motorcycles and was a mechanic and garage proprietor - of whom Duncan met and reputedly was smitten with, hence the request to go fast aboard the sports car and perhaps other endeavours afterwards...

Yet naturally now I cannot find very much upon the late Monsieur Falchetto whose ‘WICKEDpedia page has been removed ‘N blocked; WTF? And thus I’ll just go off of what Bugatti builder (dot) com reports on its forums page, that instead, the fatal automobile that Duncan met her fate aboard was instead a 1924 Amilcar Grand Sport - naturally, another long lost automobile I’d never heard of before, which were produced from 1921 to 1940 and ceased production afterwards due to something known as World War II.

But back to the gruesome part of the story, eh? As Mademoiselle Duncan climbed aboard for her moonlit evening’s ride, neither she nor Falchetto noticed that her monstrous scarf’s end had fallen outside of the motor carriage and was subsequently caught beneath an open rear wheel, further wrapping itself upon the rear axle and as the car sped away viola! Duncan was catapulted from the vehicle and her neck snapped instantly!

Von voyage mon cherrie...

Master Fabricator dies...

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, as its kind of like how all the Tuskegee Airmen, WWII veterans and thee “Greatest Generation” are dying each day, that we’d be seeing a perishing of the old guard of racers too; as first we lost Phil Hill, then Carroll Shelby and now Phil Remington...

And if you’re a died in the wool FoMoCo racing fanatic or Sports Car nut who’s ever studied their links in endurance racing, then you’ll definitely know who ‘Ol ‘Rem was, as he was the  Fabricator Extraordinaire who made ‘Ol Shel’s Sports Cars projects winners, i.e.; Cobra’s and the almighty Ford GT 40’s; not to mention a long association with Dan Gurney’s All American Racers...

Phil Remington: 1921-2013

The Tomaso Files: Four legged Friends on thee brain...

Nice to be away from the gloom ‘N doom; Err countless gray skies, darkness and precipitation for the past ten days having traded in my mucklucks, raincoat, hat ‘N gloves for an early respite in shorts ‘N short sleeve T-Shirts - mostly with tags, fortunately! For thy benefit of wearing correctly; Hya! In thy Valley of the sun as Y’all know.

Thus a very good time was had indeed doing virtually nothing; most importantly giving my faltering eyeballs a nice rest from Zed ‘Confuzer and its ominous cathode ray glow! Whilst having literally gone to thee ‘Dawgs; ‘Woof Woof!

As Blogmeister Miguel’s Houseanda is also part ‘N parcel to Dog sitting Central as we were literally overrun by a pack of barking ‘Habenero’s; Hur-hur-hur! Err, those oh so cute ‘N friendly Havanese - if only they could do ‘somme-thun about their ear piercing insistent shrill ‘lil doggie barking; YIKES!

And speaking ‘O precious puppies, we did indeed record this year’s mighty Puppy Bowl IX just in order to check out ‘Dem Hedgehog Cheerleaders along with Hamster-cam provided by two Hamster blimp pilots and a parrot busily “tweeting” all game long - not to mention the oh so cuddly “CUTE CAM” and a bevy ‘O precious puppy dogs...

Thanxs solely to No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS, I learned upon my return that we’ll probably NO longer be treated to the ‘Wundernous ‘O Mrs. Dashley (Ashley Judd) skipping to her loo down pit lane at IMS in her clingy summer dress as apparently the Franchitti’s have decided to call it quits after 11-years of matrimony.

Thus I found it a ‘Wee Bit ironic that I’d been thinking of how The Brothers Franchitti reminded me of The Brothers Schumacher, albeit now Dario isn’t like the others whom all are married...

And not to be outdone was thee ‘Kimster, as reportedly Kimi has also put his marital bliss upon ice, (hey Y’all knew that was coming...) having decided to split with his wife of eight years, ex-Miss Scandinavia Jenni Dahlman; while I’ve been loathe to say anything ‘bout Jay “Pissenbootz” Penske’s impending marriage to Mrs. Melloncamp, nee Elaine Irwin.

Meanwhile, a somewhat quick perusal upon thee A-L-L knowing Blogosphere revealed that there’s finally some worthwhile movements occurring in the solidifying ‘O Silly Season with the biggest news surely being A.J. allmendinger’s impending IndyCar test for Penske Racing at Sebring, as the test is billed as an audition for a ride at Indy this year with Team Penske, which surely AJ will pass with flying colours and I personally look forward to seeing him at Indianapolis this May.

Most surprising to Mwah was James Jakes announcement to be ‘grahamcracker’s (Graham Rahal) teammate at Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing in surely what was money related move, can Y’all say Pay-driver? As I’d personally been hoping this was where Ryan Briscoe would land. Yet congrats to Jakes in what should be a move up from the Minnowesqe Dale Coyne Racing outfit, eh?

As I’m starting to worry about Briscoe’s future as I prematurely worry the affable Aussie may be forced to take up residence alongside Justin ‘BIG-UNIT Wilson at DCR? While I think his only other options are a long shot ride aboard ‘cheep Ganassi’s fourth car or better yet le ‘Hamburgular’s (Sebastain Bourdais) teammate at Dragon Racing with thy ‘Leggy Juan, nee Katherine Legge as the meat in the Dragon-flies sandwich?

And speaking ‘O FURR-Rocious four legged friends, had an entertaining discussion in Arizona about a book I’ve just gotta read, as Greg-the-Drummer who I call Greg Peart (NO relation to thee rhythm professor...) said he’d read a great book called The Art of Racing in the Rain when in Alaska last summer... Oh you mean the book that Dr. McDreamy, nee Patrick Dempsey has bought the rights too and intends to make into a movie one day, right? To which ‘Blogmeister Miguel has confirmed by finding a link to a trailer for the movie coming out in 2014.

The Art of Racing in the Rain: 2014

With Dempsey’s links to the Pacific Northwest growing stronger continuously by having bought our faltering Tully’s coffee out of bankruptcy over rival Starbucks offer - intending to keep it alive instead of converting into more “Star-bleeps!” Not to mention his previously racing with Team Seattle to raise funds for Seattle’s Childrens Hospital...

Thus, I guess I know what my next two movies will be upon the big screen, as I eagerly await Ronnie Howard’s RUSH sometime this year; Oh Crap! I forgot about that ‘LUV-able ‘S-CAR GO! Turbo; Hya! So that’s actually three racing related movies on the docket...  

F1: 2013 Winter Testing - Four different leaders, two Fires and a Pothole...

Red bull shows off its Infiniti for the colour purple with its new 2013 F1 challenger - the RB9. (Source: joesaward.wordpress.com)

Ah, its that time of the year  once again, when everybody is most buoyant ‘bout the hopes of a new Formula 1 racing season - as hope springs eternal with A-L-L of the F1 Constructors talking turkey; Err gallantly about their prospects  for the fast approaching season whilst I myself was off doing a different sort of “Winter Olympics” by catching multiple golden hues of warmth & sunny skies in the Valley of the sun while the F1 boyz were limbering up in the sunny climes ‘O Jerez, Spain themselves and thus, your humble No Fenders  scribe has only had time to puruse the results from the first ‘Offical F1 Winter Olympics test session which apparently Mercedes kicked off with a bang, eh? I mean talk ‘bout fire in the hole; CRIKEYS!

Yet la Scuderia, nee Scuderia Ferrari also showed off its ability to bellow “Smoke On!” When new recruit Pedro de la Rosa was sent scurrying from the cockpit when his Ferrari F138 was seen billowing with ominous black clouds ‘O smoke; Aye Karumba!

And the timesheets were topped by four different leaders from three different teams while a nebulous pothole tried scuttling the final day’s testing with a lengthy delay for some of that quick drying “Mud” to be poured upon it...

Jerez: Day 1 results

 

Jerez: Day 2 results

Jerez: Day 3 results

Jerez: Day 4 results