Motorsports ‘N Music

NIKKI SIXX & VINCE NEIL-THEATRE OF PAIN Tour 85-86. - Motley Crue Fotolog. (Source: fotolog.com)

So, this esoteric thought bubble - like a fine wine... Or is that some stout Micro Brew or some good ‘Ol Mash? Has been sittin’ in the No Fenders Hopper for awhile now fermenting... As it originally sprung to mind last Fourth ‘O July weekend when I’d (purposely) missed Thee ‘Kuhnadiun Power Trio’s concert at the Gorge when within an hours-plus reach...

And The Band Plays On

Then later on whilst listening to a very young sounding Vince Neil croonin’ Home Sweet Home - which I’m ARSE-suming that my Golden Oldies Top 40 Radio Station is playin’ duh 1991 remixed single... Which I’ve just learned way more ‘bout the song then I ever wanted to know! As I’ve actually got the vinyl record album it was originally issued on; (remember what records were?) Theatre of Pain, 1985; thus, I had the following thought. How many people know that the Crue’s lead singer once tried his hand at professional Open Wheel Racing? And what other musical ‘Celebs have tried their hand in Motorsports? As this story seems perfectly timed as your humble No Fenders scribe “Takes Off!” For the Great White once again for another first time concert with Dead Can Dance, which is a slightly different musical genre compared to the following list below, eh?

Vince Neil

Lead Singer – Motley Crew

Series: Indy Lights

Team: P.I.G. Racing

Year: 1992

It’s funny to Mwah to think I actually saw Vincent Neil Wharton run in his very last professional race at you guessed I-T! Portland International Raceway two decades ago... And although I wasn’t aware that Eddie “Under-A-Cheever” ‘Cheevah was a team co-owner...

Yet, what I do find funny - is why I not only recall that Tommy Byrne was on the team but that there were three drivers raceing at Portland... Although Byrne was definitely the team leader, with a totally unheard of George Sutcliffe as wingman - with Neil as the trio’s third leg, arguably the soon to be fired Motley Crue’s lead singer overshadowed both of these drivers.

And I’m certain that Vince purposely chose the No. 69 for its sexual connotation, eh? As the Crue Boyz had a wild ‘N vivid reputation to live up too... Whilst further irony can be found in the tidbit that Neil’s number-69 racecar was sponsored by Just Say NO to Drugs; Hooah!

Yet Neil’s racing career was very short-lived, running just four Indy Lights races with his best finish being tenth place in his second outing at Milwaukee, with only a 50% finishing rate - having DNF’ed at his first and last ever Lights races.

Thus I found the following article fairly interesting - about whether or not his racing career was the catalyst that broke up the band? As the MTV video clip in the article is most amusing and even features ‘Ol Hollywood, aka Danny Sullivan giving his two-bits on the aspiring racer; check it out...

Did IndyCar Break Up Motley Crue?    

Slim Borgudd

Musician: Drummer

Series: Formula 1

Teams: ATS, Tyrrell

Years: 1981-82

Tommy “Slim” Borgudd actually began as a Rock/Jazz Drummer before his moment ‘O Fame ‘N fortune came as a session drummer for Sweden’s ‘Mega Pop Rock group ABBA - who actually let Slim run their branding on the sidepods of his Formula 1 racecar in hopes of garnering more sponsorship, albeit the band didn’t actually provide any money for this. As I’ve recapped Slim’s and other Swedish Open Wheel racers in the two-part Swedish Speed Merchants - with both Borgudd and Kenny Brack being in part two...

Swedish Speed Merchants

Kenny Brack

Musician: Lead & Rhythm Guitar

Series: Indy Racing League; CART; IndyCar

Teams: Galles Racing; A.J. Foyt Enterprises; Team Rahal; Target Chip Ganassi Racing; Rahal Letterman Racing

Years: 1997-2003, 2005

I’m certain Y’all know that thee ‘Brackster is the 1999 Indy 500 champion, along with having won the IRL title in 1998 - both for AJ Foyt... But how many of Yuhs know that he also dabbled mightily in Rock ‘N roll. As although I’ve never heard Kenny play, nor any of his bands; although I seem to recall that he did some sorta tribute song to ‘Ol SuperTex several years ago as I found the name of two bands fronted by the IndyCar star: RPM and Kenny Brack and The Subwoofers - with a band member lineup from apparently the year 2002; as I’m more familiar with his driving achievements (which I recapped in the above Swedish Speed Merchants post...) then his musical work, albeit Kenny alludes to the fact that if the racing thingy hadn’t worked out he’d probably have gravitated towards a musical career...

Eddie Jordan

F1 Team Owner, TV Pundit and Drummer

Series: Formula 1

Team: Jordan Grand Prix

Years: 1991-2005

The plucky Irishman ‘EJ is probably best known for being the man who gave DER TERMINATOR, nee Michael Schumacher his debut in Formula 1 in 1991 at Spa Francorchamps where the German qualified an electrifying seventh in the beautiful green Jordan 191 before breaking its gearbox...

And I only know vaguely of EJ’s music prowess due to hanging out with some dude named George Harrison! As Eddie played drums for his band named V10 before it became a svelte four-piece group called Eddie and The Robbers; as I’ve also profiled EJ in the following two-part story titled;

Blarney: Irish F1 Piloto’s

Jesse James

TV Personality; Motorcycle & cool car Builder

Series: Ferrari Challenge (360)

Year: 2003

Otay, I’ll admit I’m showin’ my age here... As I useda watch some show called Monster Garage way back when.  And although Jesse doesn’t fit the mold, i.e.; musician – his name came to me in a flash when thinking of Vince Neil; as Jesse has always tried bein’ a BAD ASS! Hence, his inclusion upon this very eclectic list is based solely upon the fact that most people probably don’t know he dabbled in the Ferrari Challenge series... As apparently Monster Garage paid him handsomely enough to purchase his own Scuderia racecar - as all I can find upon this is that it was a nice flat black 360 Modena Challenge car...

A Crazy weekend - As Mother Nature doesn’t take heed to Race Flags...

So apparently the nation saw Mother Nature do a ‘Flip-Flop weather-wise, eh? As Seattle had a mini-HEAT-wave this weekend with what for us is overtly HOT temps, as  the mercury hit 93deg-f Saturday and a record high of 92deg-f Sunday, which is blistering HOT for us, as the majority of us do NOT have air conditioning...

Thus, as Seattle celebrated its annual summer spectale Seafair - which culminates with the Navy’s vaunted Blue Angels performing over Lake Washington where the Unlimited Hydroplanes are the featured performers in Seafair’s climax - the Albert Lee Cup; by now many of you most likely have heard about the person killed during the lightning strike at Pocono Raceway...

Fans Struck by Lightning at Pocono Raceway

And if you stayed inside like I did to beat the heat, or stay dry and watched the IndyCar race from Mid-Ohio, then Y’all probably know they had torrential rainfall in the morning prior to a fairly sanguine race; as I found the television coverage to be fairly decent as I prefer the NBC Sports Network Booth boyz over ABC’s Dudley Duo; BUTT! I’m sure glad I wasn’t playin’ any college drinking games for every time the word Sunoco was spoken; ‘HIC! As Uhm? I’m not quite sure who the ‘Offical petrol supplier of IndyCarz is; Hya!

On the plus side, the Preamble was the perfect timing of a scant half-hour, which I really-really-really wish the Peacock-lite network would do... On the negative side of the ledger was the starting line-up across the top of the screen on the tiny crall-strip which some of us CANNOT FREAKIN’ READ!

But back to the Pocono tragedy - as after having read Nate Ryan’s timeline about it, I haveda say that I find both NASCAR and the Racetrack partially at fault... As I’ve personally experienced the fright of an impending lightning strike two years ago at Edmonton, during Saturday’s ‘Qualie session; as lightning flashed ‘N thunder boomed all around us - primarily targeting Downtown Edmonton instead, as I kept my fingers crossed the ominous black clouds wouldn’t send ferocious rainfall upon us...

As I’d never ever been to a racetrack where the public address system crackled a warning of potentially needing to abandon the (aluminum) grandstands! And I say frightenly since I was accompanied by my 10-year nephew and we hadn’t made an EMERGENCEY meeting place prior to this - and I’d most likely need to ditch my aluminum white cane, which surely would act as a lightning rod; YIKES! (Yeah, I was a bad uncle since I hadn’t considered this possibility...)

Thus the part I find overly disturbing about the Pocono debacle is the repeated theme of issuing warnings via the track’s Twitter & Facebook page... As Earth to Pocono Raceway; NOT everybody on the planet is swept up into the social media craze...

And I know I’m repeating myself here; BUTT! I am a severely visually impaired Word Butcherer who as Mary Ellen likes to tell others when greeting them: “This is tomaso; he thinks his vision is better than it really is!”

Low Vision Racer

Thus the part that stands out in the USA Today story is the comment how the PA announcement of the immanent weather arriving was very HARD to hear over the drone of Jet Dryers, racing cars, etc. As I for one rely solely upon the Public Address systems at every racing venue I attend to keep appraised of what’s occurring trackside.

And do I have any answers for this; NO! But I find it despicable that once again the race must GO on - as NASCAR blindly attempted finishing the race before the severe storm occurred and then simply expected the 85,000 fans to skidattle to safety afterwards as the lightning struck; SHEISA!

And speaking of Edmonton, after I attempted watching; Err listening to the magnificent Blue Angels practice Saturday from a local hideaway overlooking Lake Washington, I haveda say that everytime I think about an F/A-18 Fighter Jet, which the Blue Angels use - I fondly flashback to standing in the Edmonton City Centre’s Train Station parking lot as a lone ‘Kuhnadiun F/A-18 flew over us so LOW that its engine roar set off multiple car alarms upon its way to do its track fly-over! And that was just ‘Juan lone jet - so imagine what six of these Super Hornets sound like, eh?

And it was funny that I had to get my weekly news roundup via duh ‘FREAKS! As I was totally unawares that whilst Steve David was en route to his third consecutive Albert Lee Cup victory aboard Oh Boy Oberto! That history was being made in Kent, WA at Pacific Raceways... As Duh Sarge rightly lambasted ESPN’s Sportcenter for not offering a word upon not one but two FEMALES WINNING at the NHRA’s Northwest Nationals; as I’m with Statmann Caruthers of NOT wanting to see Kenny wearing a bra upon betting on Speed Freaks that ESPN/Sportscenter would devote ANY time to the history making duo of Courtney Force winning in ‘Flopperz (Funny-car) and Erica Enders in Pro-Stock Sunday night; so CONGRATS ladies!

INTERVIEW: Courtney Force on her maiden Nitro Funny-car Win

As it was actually Enders second victory this season and overall, whilst Courtney, the daughter of 15-time NHRA Champion John Force mentioned how Alexis DeJoria of Patron fame dropped off a congratulatory bottle of the premium tequila as a victory present, which with all of this heat we’re soaking in here right now sounds mighty tasty to Mwah...

Get Real Dudes! Herr Schumacher is Still the King of Indy

Last Tuesday I thought I’d actually get caught up on whatever was happening in Der ‘Vurld de Motorsporten; Ja-Ja! Especially the Indy Car Series via Trackside with Cavin & Kevin; BUTT NOPE! Instead thee Boyz nauseously rambled on for 90-minutes plus about the just concluded Brickyard 400; BARF!

As Kevin Lee gushed over how GURR-REAT! 5X Jimmy “Vanilla” Johnson was for having just won his fourth Brickyard race - tying him with such legends as AJ Foyt, Al Unser Sr., Rick Mears and Jeff Gordon... Whilst Curt Cavin had the audacity to say that DER TERMINATOR’s 5 wins didn’t equate; say what? As I found it funny to hear them tossing around Seattle like a veritable wilderness in regards to motor racing...

Thus I found Cavin’s logic irrelevant - if NOT skewed... Since they tried showing how great Johnson’s accomplishments were with the following logic. Three 4-time Indy 500 winners in 96 races; two 4-time Brickyard 400 winners in 19-races... And then there’s just ONE FIVE time Winner in not only a scant 8-races; BUTT! The ONLY FIVE times winner, period...

As how can Michael Schumacher be left outta duh equation, having captured five Pole positions and victories and two runner-up finishes in his seven starts at Indianapolis! Which theoretically should have been SIX WINS if he hadn’t monkeyed around with his staged finish in 2002... Thus in what I spouted off ‘bout one year ago - you could simply insert Johnson’s name for Gordon’s instead below. As hopefully the Trackside Boyz will return to the world ‘O IndyCar racing this Tuesday night...

Move over Gordon – Schuey is King of Indianapolis!

Korea vs. Italy - Match comes to Draw with Ferrari 250 GTO the worse for the wear...

And on the left side of the road in black pajamas, having seating for five with multiple “Babies-on-Board” and weighing in at 3,500lbs - is the Hyundai “Soul” Minivan.

While on the other left side of the road, in a red blazer and slacks, nearing middle age upon just having celebrated its 50^th birthday whilst copious amounts ‘O revs burbles mightily from its rosso cylinder heads comes a fairly precious Ferrari 250 GTO!

As apparently this pair ‘O figure skaters; Oh Wait, scratch that, it’s duh Summer Olympics isn’t it; Hya!

As it AIN’T every day that you read about a prestigious 250 GTO being involved in a motorway crash, eh?

Crash of Ferrari 250 GTO exerts expensive toll...

The Kubica Chronicles

“The Krakow Kid,” aka Robert Kubica during happier times... (Source: yallaf1.com)

It’s funny how the more you think you know – the more you seemingly learn... As prior to Robert Kubica’s MONSTEROUS Rally Car crash in Genoa, Italy, over one-year ago now; having occurred on Feb 6, 2011 - prior to this SHOCK accident, I was only aware of his horrific looking Formula 1 shunt at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve aboard his BMW-Sauber way back in 2008 – in which I scribbled about in; Kubica Walks Away... Which ironically saw a fresh faced 19yr old German Wunderkin with the moniker of Master ‘Zebb, aka Sebastian Vettel being called up for his debutant race outing at Indianapolis for that year’s USGP as Kubicas substitute - whilst “The Krakow Kid” recuperated from a concussion...

And I’m guessing that Robert isn’t the first Formula 1 Driver to take part in Rallying - besides thee REAL Iceman; Err ‘Kimster, nee Kimi Räikkönen and his OOMPHLatt’s; Hya! Thinking what could go wrong in a Tin Top?

I first discovered the World Rally Championship (WRC) via the SPEED channel way back in 2004 whilst cheering madly for thee ‘Nordski Petter Solberg to win that season’s Drivers Title, which he did ever so narily over an up ‘N comer named Sebastian Loeb... Who’s since gone on the ultimate tear of winning the last eight WRC Drivers Crowns (championships) in-a-row...

Yet Rallying, like ALL forms of Motorsports is a violent sport which seems to have had its share of Star driver’s deaths occurring - with just a few WRC members listed below over the past decade.

Michael Park: “M-squared” Markko Martin’s Navigator - Sept 18, 2005 killed in Wales Rally GB; Age 39. (First WRC fatality since ’93)

Richard Burns – Nov 25, 2005; Age 34 dies from Cancer.

Colin McRae – Sept 15, 2007; Age 39 dies in Helicopter crash.

Thus I subsequently pilfered out that thee ‘Krakow Kid” was behind the wheel of a Skoda Fabia S2000 Rally Car that fateful day last February, and after my initial thoughts - where I seemed to be the only ‘Hack to scribble how much Kubica’s accident injuries made me immediately think of another ex-Formula 1 driver named Alessandro Nannini, who severed his hand in a Helicopter accident and never-ever raced again in F1!

Yet with more time to reflect, I’ve pondered what nobody seems to have wondered? As in were Kubica’s horrific injuries in anyway related to the type of Rally Car he was piloting, a Super 2000-spec vehicle, which I believe are much smaller then the previous WRC chassis, and hence, are they potentially more dangerous to driver’s health? And has the WRC simply dodged a bullet so far? Or was Robert’s accident simply due to striking a solitary wall at a high rate of speed which regardless of what type of Rally Car wouldn’t have mattered?

And like many in the Blogosphere, I truly wish to see the affable Polish F1 Star return to Grand Prix racing ‘Toot-sweet...

Yet, I fear that he’ll most likely either never return to thee Pinnacle ‘O Motorsport, or if he does, he’ll suffer the indignity of what Felipe Massa has since returning behind the wheel at la Scuderia after his FREAKISH accident at the Hungaroring in 2009...

Where the likeable Brazilian’s spirit was further CRUSHED by Scuderia Ferrari asking Felipe’s Engineer Rob snedly to inform Massa that “Fernando is FASTER then you - can you confirm, please!” You know when Stefano Domenicali ordered Massa to let “Ferdi-the-Putz,” nee Fernando Alonso to pass him for the lead at the 2010 German GP; SHEISA!

Which made it feel very ironic to hear ‘Hobbo, aka David Hobbs waxing on during the German GP two Sunday’s ago whilst alluding to the very same conclusions  over Massa’s psyche being damaged from that infamous team order...

And with Kubica falling on ice and re-breaking his leg a few months ago whilst trying to rehabilitate himself, we’ll simply have to wait ‘N see if the Pole does ever return to F1? Not to mention, who would he drive for? As I fear Kubica will become another unfortunate Open Wheel Racing Star falling in the shadows of ‘Sandro and ‘Shorty, a.k.a. Nannini and Cristiano da Matta respectively, although Da Matta and Nannini, along with Alex Zanardi all did recover and further raced in Touring & Sports Cars; as although its overly cliché - at least they all did ultimately walk away!

Another Italian Rally suffers tragedy...

Sadly, another Italian Rally has seen the deaths of competitors in its event, this time when a Peugeot 207’s driver and navigator perished in a fiery accident during the Rally of Luca in Tuscany, some 45-miles from Florence, which follows on the heels of this year’s Targa Florio Rally death...

Driver, Navigator of Luca Rally perish in crash

Are Red Bull really the Bad Guys in F1?

Suppose its just Mwah; BUTT! I got a little fed up over the past two weekend’s attempts to wind-up much over maligned hysteria over Red Bull Racing’s contrived controversies, a la “Torque-gate” and “Adjustigate;” YAWN! As I even spent the past weekend telling Mary Ellen how I tend to overlook the fact that SPEED is owned by FOX - uze know thee “Fair ‘N Balanced” News Network, right?

As I became fairly bored with “Willie Buxom’s” improvisational skills in manufactured ‘Hype... As after all, as it was pointed out - it is the duty of EVERY F1 Constructor on the grid to discover and EXPLOIT ANY perceived loophole in the FIA regulations governing the sport of Formula 1...

As look NO further than 2009 when Ross Brawn, along with Toyota and Team Willie shunned the “Spirit” of the regulations and successfully competed with their egregious “Double Diffusers...” Which ultimately the remainder of the F1 grid was required to redesign their Grand Prix challengers in attempts of catching BRAWN GP which ultimately saw ‘JENSE (Jenson Button) crowned the Drivers World Champion and BRAWN GP the Constructors champion that season...

I can also quickly think of Renault’s “J-Damper” episode and Ferrari’s “Flexi-gate” as just two more examples of the various teams attempting to circumnavigate the regulations in search for that most sought after “Unfair Advantage,” not to mention last year’s blown diffuser roe... Hell, some have even gone so far as to actually been caught cheating, as recall BAR-Honda’s infamous trick fuel tanks? Y’all remember when the team was excluded from the 2005 San Marino GP and further banned from the following two races for using fuel as ballast...

BAR-Honda has Nothing on Team Tyrrell

Thus, I tend to believe that the extra scrutiny towards this season is simply a result of Master ‘Zebb’s (Vettel) utter obliteration of last year’s season en route to 11-wins and a record 15-pole positions. As surely the powers-to-be are much happier when there’s a Prancing Horse at the top of the leader board, right?