Yo ‘RASSCAR! Whudda Yuhs means there’s Other racing going on?

So originally - since apparently I’m a DannaWho? ‘HATER; Oh Never Mind! I’d intended to Boycott thee entire ‘DayToner 500 racin’ thingy... Hey, I mean it’s only scheduled to last 5-and one-half hours, right? YUK! OH SHIT! Where’s the mute button - trying to eat breakfast before the RIVETING ‘DW ‘LUVfest; Err, interview with guess who was slated to PEAK! Err, pop-up after duh commercial...

Thus I decided to read Donald Davidson’s most Excellante book - Autocourse: The Official History of the Indianapolis 500 instead; WHAT? NO Danica? Hya! Yet apparently I couldn’t stand it, and after finishing the chapter I went out to have a looky-loo at who was leading? But ‘Ol Chalkboard Larry Mac screeched ‘Somme-thun ‘bout tonight’s race; Huh? This made me do a little “Happy Dance!” When I discovered that the ONLY thingy that can stop the DannaCar express is good old Mother Nature - as I’m hoping that thee GURR-REAT! ‘Merricun race gets RAINED OUT! As I wunder if Ye ‘Ol Windbag Dave Despain will be kickin’ off Wind Tunnel tonight? To which I discovered there was some sorta motorcycle racing going on Down Under from Phillip Island...

Tunin’ in with only 15mins of the first race remaining - I watched Max Biaggi simply cruise home aboard his Aprilia rocketship, with Marco Melandri runner-up on his BMW and Sylvain Guintoli third; Huh? Where’s my Numero Uno man “The Bull.” Don’t tell me Carlos Checa has retired?

Thus I decided to watch race-two in its entirety - as I simply delight over the commentary of Jonathan Green and the other Steve Martin - as Green is even more animated then Mike “Yippee-Aye-Eh!” King is, whilst Martin is masterfully Dry...

Turned out that The Bull (Checa) had had a ‘Mega High-side in round-1 and therefore DNF’ed, which surely isn’t how the reigning World Superbike (WSBK) Champion intended to begin his title defense.

Biaggi simply blew past his competitors down the main straight with the unbelievable “Grunt” of the Aprilia’s V-4 with a terminal velocity of 325kph! Which I believe is faster then Formula 1 currently circulates around the globe at, albeit “Jungle Boy,” nee Antonio Pizzonia holds the record at le Autodromo Monza - just shy of 375 ‘clicks; SHEISA! Or 231mph for us ‘Yank’s - set back in the three-liter V-10 era; But I digress...

F1: Viva Italiano - 2008 Edition

As granted, today’s F1 Landsharks are every bit as fast; BUTT! You’ve gotta admit 201.825mph on a ‘Scooter is FREAKIN’ INSANE! As Biaggi was simply amazing in round-2 - after he nearly had taken himself out at the start and dropped to stone last on lap-1 while Checa loped around at the sharp end of the grid, albeit dropping as low as third astern - before taking the lead from Jonathan Rea; coming thru Johnny... As Carlos then simply motored off into the distance.

Yet the man of the hour was Biaggi who simply marveled at coming all the way back up to finish runner-up - as Martin wryly noted: “He only passed three on that lap,” whilst attempting to dust off not one, but both of the BMW’s down the straightaway.

With the best race of round-2 being the massive scrum over the podium’s final step, as thee Irishman Rea simply ran his rubber ragged trying to hold off a hard charging Tom Sykes, the Kawasaki rider having started the day on Pole in race-1 - who’s tyres were in better shape, with Sykes nicking Rea on the final lap.

And it was funny to hear Martin note that the two OLDEST riders on the WSBK circuit - with a combined 78-years between them were 1-2 on the podium; Crikeys! But even more impressive was Leon “The Lion” Haslam’s stirring performance - as the BLOODY ‘BRIT was riding with a broken right leg, toe and heel, with the broken toe being on his shifter foot; aye Karumba! As Haslam gritted thru the immense pain to finish a remarkable fifth in round-2; as Yuhs gotta ask yourself would Danica be able to do that?

Thank You Honda

And Bobby Rahal...

WOW! Those are two sentences I thought I’d never type in my life - let alone post on thee ‘BLOB; Crikeys! Yet that’s exactly how I felt late Friday night when I first noticed the Honda press release sittin’ in the No Fenders mailbox announcing the FANTASTIC news that Honda had confirmed Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing to its fold for the entire 2012 season. As now we can get on with a proper Rookie Of the Year battle - not to mention watching an exciting new prospect get a proper chance to ‘Shine On in Indy Cars this season...

Trackside shares the ‘LUV with Word Butcherers...

So did Y’all bother to listen to the Cornucopia ‘O ‘Vurd Botcherer’s taking up the Airwave broadbands on 1070 The Fan last Thursday night? As I’ve purposely shied-away from participating in previous years... But I haveda say I truly enjoyed the show with the exception of the program Dumping on my Confuzer during every single commercial break - having to endure multiple attempts of re-logging onto the website; but I digress...
And thanxs to that fine ‘KuhNaidiun lass ‘Meesh, who claims to have some affinity for Cathy Griffin; Huh? Who the HE Double Hockey Sticks is that Meesh??? AnyHoo, she’s already done the heavy lifting for Mwah and thus I can be lazy and just simply point Y’all to her recap of the Keyboard Warriors regalia on Trackside instead of attempting to speel everybody’s name & topics... Kudos to Kevin Lee for making it happen.

Trackside rolls out the butcher block

Although just for the record, your humble No Fenders scribe was advocating for Indy Cars to return to Portland International Raceway, a 1.96-mile Permanent Road Course - that’s already built! Since we DON’T want NO STINKIN’ Ovals up here; Hya! Although we have shot down two proposed Oval track projects in the past, yet do have the Monroe Speedway...        

2011 MotoGP Highlights

If I was to say that a "Stoner" was the best in the world at something, you would likely think I was talking snowboarding, poker, or some X-Game sport. However, this past season, fans of MotoGP heard the phrase "Stoner dominates" all too often as Casey Stoner took the Bwin poker sponsored 2011 MotoGP title in dominating fashion. I'm surprised they didn't rename the tour the StonerGP.

Just how dominating was Stoner this season you ask? If you have to ask, you clearly don't follow the Bwin backed MotoGP season, which sucks for you. Anyway, Stoner won 10 races this season. There are only 18 races total. He took the first race at Qatar and then let Jorge Lorenzo and Dani Pedrosa take the Spanish and Protuguese races respectively. Stoner then took the next three races to jump out to a huge lead.

Stoner had another three match racing streak after winning the US Grand Prix, the Czech Republic GP, and the Indianapolis GP. Tack on Aragon, Iveco, and the Valencian GP to finish the season and you have a dominating performance that resulted in him having a 90 point lead over Lorenzo to finish the season. With his dominating performance this season, one has to wonder if he can follow it up in 2012.

Unfortunately, the dominating season of Stoner was overshadowed by the passing of Marco Simoncelli. Everyone that is associated with or a fan of MotoGP remembers that dreadful day in October at the Malaysian Grand Prix. Simoncelli lost the front end of his Honda on Turn 11. Colin Edwards and Valentino Rossi were right behind him and unfortunately could not avoid a collision with Simoncelli.

The impact knocked Simoncelli's helmet off and he sustained serious trauma to the head, neck, and chest. Within an hour of the injuries, Simoncelli passed away at 16:56 local time. The 12 time 250cc winner will always be remembered for his flamboyant style. Sadly, his passing reminds us that what we take for granted can end in an instant.
The final race of the season began with an emotional tribute to Simoncelli as every rider took a memorial lap to remember him. Many thought the final race would be canceled, but many felt that it would be a better tribute for riders to honor his memory and do what Simoncelli enjoyed most, racing.
The 2011 season will be remembers as much for the dominance of Casey Stoner as for the tragedy in Simoncelli's death. Fortunately, a new season is on the horizon and fans and fans can look forward to happier times. The next season starts on April 8th and and online poker room Bwin will be back to sponsor. Will Stoner continue to dominate or will someone step up to challenge him? We will find out soon enough...

Bloggers Invade Trackside Tonight!

Although the Dean ‘O IndyCar Bloggers has already busted out his usual HipDaddy vibe upon tonight’s Trackside with Kevin & Cavin radio show tonight... Nonetheless, just thought I’d let Y’all know that your humble No Fenders scribe has actually stepped up to the plate this year, albeit I’ll be batting Clean-up tonight...

The show airs from 7-9PM ET tonight on Indy’s 1070 The Fan, or if you’re on the Left Coast like I am with NO radio stations, you can check it out via the Internetz at 1070thefan.com.

The first segment will feature Kevin & ‘Kurty breaking down all of the latest news before Thee OLD-est IndyCar Blogger Geo. Phillips step’s up to the batter’s box around 7:20PM ET as the lead Blogger...

Sarah Fisher Engine Squeeze Job NOT A Positive sign for IndyCar

POW! SHUZZAM! BIFF! As I’m trying to refrain from throwin’ down any Kurt GFYS! Busch F-Bomb laden tirades over what’s fast becoming the SORRIEST news of the yet as begun 2012 Indy Car Series season; as seriously GM? You’ve just announced a record $7.6 BILLION profit, cancelled ALL Workers Pension’s and yet cannot come up with the ability to provide one more lone V-6 engine for Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing - WTF?

Thus imagine my laughing-out-loud upon reading Open Wheel Racing Curmudgeon Robin Miller’s latest rant, where ‘R rightly states:

“Can you imagine Chevy or Ford telling NASCAR that they appreciate the fact Ricky Stenhouse was the Nationwide champion but they won’t be able to give him a Cup engine until Bristol?”

“We all understand it’s a new engine, it’s got teething problems, it’s expensive, it takes something like 14 weeks to make a crankshaft and the manufacturers are losing money.

But this is supposed to be the top level of open wheel racing in North America. This isn’t Saturday night claimers at The Speedrome, this is serious money and serious business.

To think Sarah Fisher has a car but can’t get an engine for it isn’t just unacceptable – it’s friggin’ embarrassing.”

As I especially liked ‘R’s pun ‘bout the new multi-million dollar facility being built in Speedway, Indiana being as good as being located in Bahrain; YOUCH! Sic ‘em Robin! As why is this team being treated like the Rodney Dangerfield of Indy Cars?

Thus, I’m gonna have a really HARD time even remotely rootin’ for ‘Chebbie this season, as part of me wants to see SFHR not running Chevrolet now, albeit I DON’T want to see Sarah, Andy, “Wink” and Newgarden sitting on the sidelines...

As for Mr. CandyMann (Randy Bernard) going to bat for Sarah - I think he’d better try a little bit HARDER! As I’d like to ASS-sume he realizes there’s further implications for the series besides the TRAVESTY of Fisher & Co being denied an engine until Indy: Can you say R.O.Y.? (Rookie Of the Year) As it’ll be downright EMBARASSING if Joseph Newgarden doesn’t get a fair shot to compete for this honour vs. “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud( and Thy Leggy ‘Juan. (Katherine Legge)

As I DON’T know who dropped the ball on this ‘Juan, but really IndyCar? You’re gonna let Sarah Fisher & Joseph Newgarden be punished for your oversights; Hmm? Next thingy you’ll know, SFHR will be denied a top-flight AFX Body-by-Mennen Aerokit, eh?

And that’s before we even get to hear Meesh’s take upon the perceived UNFAIR bias being shown towards the female equation of the sport, I mean first NO ‘LyndieCar and now this? YIKES!



MILLER: Outrage for Sarah

Bahrain Unrest continues Daily...

Perhaps Y’all read Uncle Bernaughty’s latest wrap upon those silly “Kid’s” mucking about the streets in Manama? Oh Bernie, you’re such a Scream... As this just in from Bahrain, where torture & rendition are the current rage in the Gulf Nation Kingdom...

2 Westerners Are Detained as Protests Continue to Roil Bahrain

As really F1? You’re still gonna race in Bahrain this April? Hmm? Perhaps Y’all will wish to read The Mole’s latest intelligence report for a more pragmatic look upon the Geopolitical landscape of Bahrain?

Lunch with the Mandarin