Walt Disney's iconic Magical Kingdom. (Image source: fineartamerica.com)
By now, if you're one of the remaining Diehard U.S. F1 Aficionados, then Y'all know just how HORRIBLE Liberty Media's "New & Improved" regurgitated Sky Sports Formula 1 TV Coverage Stateside is!
As it just feels like we're getting a really Inferior, Watered Down product, which the powers to be Don't seem to give a SHIT about! As Thars' absolutely NO rhyme or reason to how the next race's airing will be formatted. So who knows what Magically Delicious treatment Baku will get?
It's Bad Enough that ESPN2 simply Ignores Friday's (Free Practice) "FP" sessions, a la NBC Sports airing FP2. But for this weekend's Azerbaijan GP, according to my Zap-2-It' Telephone TV Guide, Thars' NO Saturday Qualie' coverage either; CRAP!
And then Y'all can either watch a riveting 35mins Pre-grid Musical, followed by the race's 2hrs 25mins, Huh? A Whopping three hours TV coverage beginning at FUCKING NO WAY RAY! OH DARK-30! Or 4:30AM Pacific, or the Dumbed Down Sunday evening's 2.5hrs encore at 7PM Pacific...
As I found I-T Hilarious! That they actually ran a Commercial for Walt Disney's Toy Story land coming attraction before beginning the F1 show in Shanghai.
along with smartly telling David Kroft to Quit mentioning it's 10 after the Hour, since it typically AIN'T when we get the second helping of Formula 1, which only further agitates my Dander! Since I can then compute how much is being cut out...
Then again, perhaps Liberty Media doesn't really care about its U.s. Television Audience, Eh? Although according to Wikipedia. As of early 2015, ESPN2 reportedly has a U.S. audience of over 94 million homes with pay Cable TV subscriber service, and approximately nearly 82% of all U.S. Households with at least one television.
Case in Point, to ESPN's Oh Shit, we've got to show some Car racing now. Like seriously, people like this type 'O Sports?
Since Formula One's television Broadcasts are so Mickey Mouse, You never know what you're gonna get! As ESPN2 set the Bar Ah-Mighty', with their whimpering, chaotic Cluster-Fuck Debut Airing Down Under in Bloody OZ!
"Somme-times Yuhs Feel like A Nut, Somme-times Yuhs Don't!"
As sometimes you get NO Pre-race and other times you do. With ESPN2 trying to drive us WONKY! As the second race of the season at Bahrain saw the live race airing being only 2hrs 5mins duration, but the Sunday evening encore was Two and One-half hours long, Huh?
As I'm so DISGUSTED over this Abomination of F1 coverage, that I'm NO longer willing to get up at OH DARK-30, i.e.; 4:30AM. Or stay up 'til 1AM in the morning with the race beginning at 11PM Pacific!
Thus why should I be surprised? As it only took three races before ESPN2 was regressing into its old habits; FUCK!
As the Sunday, April 15th Chinese Grand Prix Encore presentation was listed to begin on ESPN2 at 6PM Pacific, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
OH SHIT! Here we g-O Again! Welcome to le Douche' as third rate SCC Women's Softball filled the screen when turning on Thy Telie' some 10mins before the top 'O hour; GROAN!
As the game was only in its 5th inning, between Mississippi and 'Ol Miss; STEE-RIKE!
As the game went past 6PM Pacific, with our riveting Formula 1 Pre-race Blather beginning at 6:08PM Pacific, and then just three short minutes into the Broadcast the sound went silent, and presumably the picture? With an audible stagnation, jerky shift and suddenly Kroftie' was reading the middle of the grid's line-up; WTF!
As they'd once again very clumsily Butchered; Err Chopped Out the majority of the Pre-race in order to squeeze in the race; SIGH! Not to mention how did 'Ol BillyBob' (Martin Brundle) make it from the Commentary Booth to the Podium so lickety-split?
And then the race ended promptly at 8:08PM Pacific and suddenly we were entertained by a whimsical Post-race show, that featured very ANNOYING Clown-like Circus music as background noise, which would steadily creep to a crescendo, making it harder 'N harder to hear the announcers; Err Presenters, or were those Pundits? Drum-roll please...
Since I've still got ZERO Clue who's the Blimey Brit' leading the riveting Post-race Shemozzles, albeit pretty sure the other half's Johnny Herbert...
As apparently ESPN2 was just Killing time to get to the top of the hour, and per Tipicali, the Post-race just abruptly ended at 8:53PM Pacific, with NO signing off, instead just 4mins of Commercials before returning to another STUPENDOUS episode of E60 at 8:57PM Pacific; SPLAT!
Alas, try as I might to put up with this PATHETIC Television coverage of thee Pinnacle of Motorsports. I cannot but simply Abhor what Liberty Media's Done! Not to mention how the Sun has certainly set upon Formula 1's TV Coverage. For which if your precious TV Ratings go where I suspect they're Headed, then DON'T Cry us any Crocodile Tears Liberty Media!
But then again, if everybody's just playing F1 Fantasy, then who Needs Terrestrial TV, Eh?