Thursday, April 13, 2017

Weather, Wackiness and Winners! Fireworks abound as RevHead' Triple Stints Race Weekend...



Whilst I'm totally Knackered' from following three separate racing series events last weekend, so much for taking a few days off from Thy Keyboard! Yet I was even more amazed that the two rival TV Networks covering them didn't crash into each other, with the third network being virtually invisible; Vroom-Vroom...

Having not watched; Err listened to any motor racing for nearly a month's time after having chosen to tune into Indycar.com's live coverage of the Street Pete IndyCar & Indy Lights events, since I really didn't wanna listen to thou laconic Mr. Edward Cheever, Jr. I decided to make up for I-T in spades last weekend! Deciding to G-O for the triple Lutz Sow Cow; Err Triple Stint, i.e.; Formula 1, IndyCar and IMSA, whilst totally ignoring thou ultimate Kneedraggerz' Splish Splashin' round Autódromo Termas de Río Hondo in Argentina...

Foggy Bottoms in Shangri-lah...
Having altered my circadian rhythms in order to stay awake in thou Wee hours 'O mornings', I just sat staring at Thy Telescreen overly bemused at 11 FREAKIN' PM during Friday's (Free Practice) FP2 Shemozzle, thinking this AIn'T a very good Omen for my F1 season's kickoff; Hya! As my very first whiff of Formula 1's new Wider's Better campaign was aborted due to the medical Heli' (helicopter) not being able to see the hospital's landing pad!


Quip of the Weekend
Making up for the prior day's loss, as the Peacock-lite Booth Boyz' Messer Matchett & Hobbs gave us a track description via onboard footage. As Steve Matchett noted that's where A-L-L 24-feet of elevation is, 'Ol Hobbo cheekily chimed in the following, which instantly led to Matchett guffawing On-air...

That's where It was Snowing Friday!

And although Lewis Hamilton claimed his astounding 63rd Pole ahead of the en vogue media darling 'lil Sid Viddle, as how quickly everyone's forgotten Seb' Vettel telling Charlie Whiting to G-O FUCK HIMSELF! (Repeatedly)

I went to bed early Saturday morning fuming! As perhaps NBC Sports Network's lead announcer Leigh Diffey put I-T most succinctly, musing over how Mercedes new boy Valtteri Bottas is learning what it takes to be at the sharp end and just how Cut Throat it is eking those last precious thousands 'O seconds out of your lap...

As I was totally PISSED over Bottas gettin' Duh Bump 'N Run treatment due to Sauber's shining light Antonio Giovinazzi's clouting the wall in Qualie' Q1, when NBCSN completely chopped out Bottas post qualifying interview after just showing us the two chosen ones, nee Hamilton & Vettel; BARF!


As Vettel's Chirpiness towards Bottas TV Unilateral segment was the best portion of the whole Bloody interview!

Multiple Fender Benders on shoreline Drive!
Had intended to watch; Err listen to another Freakin' Sports Car race on FOX, but as typical, some FRILLIN' second string JV' Taxicabs race gotz in Duh way, as note to TV Broadcasters, I do NOT wanna go to your FUCKING App when Yuhs cannot keep to your listed broadcast schedule!

Hence, I decided to see if I could pull up the Bubbah Burgers race already in progress via Zed Internetz, for which I was very pleased to hear Der Heinenmeihr's voice boomin' thru on my tiny 'lil 'Puter's speakers! With John Hindhaugh being joined by Jeremy Shaw  and the most enjoyable Shea Adam on the Pitlane.

Quote of the Weekend
When Der Heinenmeihr' caught his breath at the end of the IMSA Saturday Nite scrum; Err Afternoon's donnybrook he mused, I've just received the following text from an unnamed IMSA Official...

I've witnessed less chaotic Chariot Races!

As the Bubbah Burgers event was Definitely Scramble; Not-over-Easy; Hya! With the Weathertech SportsCar Championship series supporting the Long Beach IndyCar race, barely five minutes old, when Ed Brown in his Nissan Onroak DPi tangled with the Risi Competizione Ferrari 488 GTE, with both cars immediately retiring from the 100 minute race, or better put, The Ton!

As Y'all know that tried 'N tested saying Yellows breed Yellows, as I-T was game on in the starter's stand, as the competitors just couldn't help themselves, with a total of five yellows compared to Sebring's seven...

And with 25mins remaining, I found myself rootin' unaccustomedly for Meesh's favourite team owner, Senor Stash, a.k.a. Bobby Rahal; hoping Martin Tomczyk could bring the No. 24 Team BMW RLL (Rahal Letterman Lanigan) Racing's M6 GTLM Bimmer' home first overall! But it wasn't in the cards, as his co-driver John Edwards said the DPi's would most likely get us, just hoping to win class honours instead.

With 20mins remaining the unexpected Seester #2 Tequila Patron Nissan Onroak DPi with Ryan "Razzle-Dazzle" Dalziel at the wheel blasted by Tomczyk for the race's lead, as Dalziel had a really good tussle with the fast approaching Jordan Taylor, who ultimately swept by in an excellante out-braking move the long way round with 5mins remaining, winning the race, giving Wayne Taylor Racing a Hat Trick 'O victories in the brand new Daytona Prototype International (DPi) era.


But the mayhem was far from over, as Hindhaugh bemoaned how this was the longest they'd gone green, some ten laps plus in the 79th minute before the GT Boyz' began playin' Pinball Wizard! With Jeremy Shaw just laughing repeatedly over the Boneheaded maneuvers occurring Ringside!

In what should have been a Chevy Corvette 1-2 sweep in the GT LM (Le Mans) class with Ford P3, one of good 'Ol Paul MEATHEADZ' Gentilozzi's Lexus RC F GT3's, the No. 15 with Robert Alon driving, decided to tussle with Tom Long's Mazda RT24P DPi.

As Alon's highly questionable move saw the Rexus' causing the legendous' Shoreline Drive Hairpin to become blocked as the GT LM leaders arrived, leaving Garcia bottled up - with second place Tommy Milner guessing correctly which side to try, sweeping past leader Antonio Garcia!

And third place Ford GT runner Ryan Briscoe said thank You very much, following Milner's path to finish an unexpected runner-up! With Garcia stranded, watchin' his sure victory tumblin' down the boulevard; Err order, ultimately classified P5.

Blending Revenge at The Beach'
As a previous yellow flag, full course caution, scary sounding' crash by Action Express Racing's ARX) Dane Cameron had pushed the concrete Jersey barriers backwards! I pondered if this would delay the IndyCar qualifying session? Which apparently was tape delayed...


Yet for Mwah, the strangest portion of Indy Cars Qualie' was Simon Pagenaud's head scratchin' penalty, for impeding Dancin' Fool Hulio's progress; Hmm?

Did the Racing Gods prevail, or thou 'Ol long Hand 'O Justice, nee Sherriff Billybob Brazenheartz' (Brian Barnhart) intervene upon his favourite punchin' bag Team Penske? With revenge being served upon the Frenchman, for last year's Blend-line Shenanigans? Bubbah Burgers indeedy!


Giovinazzi Crashes Down to Earth...
Whilst I tried explaining to F1 Spotter Jeannie, how Thars' an old adage 'bout rather needing to slow a speedy racer down vs. trying to get a slow one to speed up...

As I truly feel for Antonio Giovinazzi, and hope his F1 future won't be judged by one bad weekend! As personally, I'd enjoy seeing him teamed alongside Kevin Bacon' Magnussen at Haas F1 next year, with Romain Grosjean taking Raikkonen's seat, so the young Italian could get some seasoning before moving into the Scuderia Ferrari Frying pan...

Nonetheless, as I've already mentioned prior, fortunately I missed the young Italian's spectacular crash upon the front straight at Shanghai International Circuit 'cause unexpectedly, and scaring the pee outta Mwah, my building's Fire Alarm decided to randomly chirp a two bar staccato blast at that exact  same moment, and thus I spent the rest of the race wonderin' what happened?

Although I do know that the typically chilled Iceman, nee Kimi Raikkonen was having a meltdown in the cockpit! As his incessant berating of the Scuderia's SF70H's performance was somewhat bemusing.

And perhaps it's just Mwah, but why do a-L-L the in-car radio soundbytes' they play for us of Max Dutchboy' Verstappen make him sound so arrogant?

While I had great fun telling Jeannie of hearing The Brat! Crying over his radio. Tell them to make that car way ahead of me move over, it's mussin' up my hair!

As Thars' a reason Sunshine why Lewis never sez' your name. Can Yuhs say Mind Games? As Me Thinks that Hamilton & Vettel are trying really, really hard to NOT let Yuhs know you're their stiffest competizione, especially in the future! But they AIN'T just gonna hand you the title, boy...

And I'm not even gonna comment on my Numero Uno driver VB's (Bottas) inexplicable pirouette behind the safety car; YOUCH! As overall it was a good race. Definitely not great, but also not boring, even though the Ham-Ham 'lil Sid Viddle Coom-bai-Yah's already grating on my nerves...

Thou Mayor Dances to Victory at The Beach!
Firstly, I find I-T refreshing that the season's first two IndyCar races have been far more entertaining than that revered Pinnacle 'O Motorsports, nee Formula 1's first events...

Although I'll confess, I was rootin' for Hinch's Pal and House Guest Alexander Rossi to win at Long Beach, simply to get the perceived "Fuel Mileage" Monkey Off his Back, for which he totally doesn't deserve! As Rossi's simply a BAD ARSE! So as much as I totally enjoyed thou Mayor 'O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe winning, I'm looking very forward to Rossi's second W' shortly.

As Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen asked: You like Hinchcliffe, right? Definitely! And certainly James over RHR, even if thee Mayor was a Wee bit 'O Smart Arse to Mwah on our Puddle Jumper to The Motor City last year...


As I totally LUVED' Hinch's reply to the Freaks during his interview 'bout Hunter-Reay saying he could have beat him... To which James cheerily said that Ryan Hunter-Reay's simply adorable...

And a la Rossi, hopefully the manufactured Hype' over Josef STUD! Newgarden's "lackluster" debut at Team Penske will go away now, especially since like he said, it's nice getting my first podium for El Capitano'; NOT bad for only his second outing for Roger.

But probably the Penske driver having the biggest laugh is Simon Pagenaud, who like thou OLD-est IndyCar Blogger; Hya! Geo. Phillips said: Pagenaud didn't pass A-L-L those cars in the Pits! En route  to an impressive fifth place finish from Dead last.


So as much as I'm enjoying the "David's" 'O IndyCar, and especially them Hondre' (Honda) runners kickin' Duh Bowtie's ARSE right now, don't be surprised if Pagenaud ends up in the thick of the title fight this year...

No comments:

Post a Comment