Monday, April 24, 2017

INDYCAR: When's a McLaren Not a McLaren?

Kiwi' sticker on Johnny Rutherford's real McLaren-Offenhauser IndyCar. That be a Deckle' of a kiwi bird, not a can of shoe polish Mates! (The Tomaso Collection)
While I'm quite excited over the recent, startling development of Fernando Coming to Americre' for this year's Indy 500, I find I-T a teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy annoying of thou ceaseless droning on 'bout McLaren returning to Mother Speedway for the first time in 38-years.

Although I suppose this McLaren Hoodwinkery's NOT nearly as BAD as that whole sorrid, laughable Lotus IndyCar affair, eh?

As Y'all recall when ironically, Fernando Alonso's 2017 Andretti Autosport Stable-mate Taku-san', nee Takuma Sato drove the No. 5 adorned in iconic British Racing Green with yellow stripe finery as the Lotus Cosworth in 2010 for KV Racing Technology. Which was actually a Dallara Honda IndyCar underneath it's snazzy paint job.

Then KVRT XP Calladrocious' upped its ante; Err paycheque from the Lotus Cars Pied Piper Dany Bahar, as Kevin "Smiley Face" Kalkoven, co-owner of Cosworth gladly rebranded his IndyCar squad as KVRT Lotus, which not only saw Sato continuing in the "Green Car," but TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan running the No. 82 in thou eponymous JPS Black & Gold livery, with E.J. "What, Me Worry?" Viso providing comic relief for the three car entity.

Yet as we A-L-L know, the Wheels came off the whole Lotus IndyCar menagerie in 2012, when the Lotus-by-Judd powerplants failed to live up to expectations, leaving HVM Racing holding the bag with the underpowered Luddi' lumps, with "symona-Symona" (de Silvestro) enduring a miserable season graciously, while "Mean Jean" Alesi  get's an undeserved rap for his lone Indy 500 outing for the Fan Force United Dallara Powered-by-Lotus entry's slowness; but I digress...

As I'm NOT implying that McLaren Cars Limited will meet the same tumultuous fate as Lotus Cars suffered underneath the grandiose visions of Messer Bahar,

Nor am I trying to compare Zachery Brown with "Zany Dayny!" Along with not wishing for this to occur at Wokin! But you've got to wonder if this could be the beginning of McLaren's demise?

Whilst I-T appears to Mwah, which is never a good position for a Formula 1 Team to be in, or company, that McLaren Honda needs Alonso more than visa-versa at the moment, with the exception that surely "Fredrico Suave" wants the entirety of his allege $32m salary remaining for 2017!

And Good On Yuhs Mate! As Stefan Wilson graciously put aside his ambitions for 2017 whilst holding the keys to one of the vaunted Hondre' rides at Mother Speedway this May, reputedly the final Honda engine lease available, which Starship HC's Grand Pooh-Bah Mark Miles touches upon in his lively interview with 'Ol R', aka IndyCar Soothsayer Robin Miller.

While as typical, thou Mayor 'O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe had the best reply upon the shocking news of Fernando coming to 16th & Georgetown this May...

And while ARSE-Sumedly the Rage; Err Debate will ramble on awhile longer, presumably up to race day; May 28th, I for Juan' am totally happy with this very unique One-Off the :Powers-to-Be" at McLaren have granted their prized star Fred Alonso. Along with his willingness to jump at the opportunity!

As I-T truly is a WIN-WIN for Open Wheel Racing Fans on both sides of thou Puddle! Especially if I-T Steals some of Dat' other Bullying Roundy-round series thunder! Since it should be utterly fascinating to see how Fernando gets on vs. 32 other drivers wishing to fair comparably to this F1 Double world champion on Indy Cars largest stage...