Saturday, April 6, 2013

Car No. 55 - Please Report to the Pitlane immediately!

“Once again, the Ferris wheel at Barber Motorsports Park is the one previously owned by Michael Jackson. Fans of the pop singer will want to ride in car 13, Jackson's favorite car!”

SPEW!

Just finished a late breakfast after taking a breath from that Oh So Chaotic & Ragged IndyCar ‘Qualie show at thee Barber’s... As I’m thinking that perhaps Race Control added a one to Michael Jackson’s favourite car number, eh? As in like the ‘Juan from his Never-Neverland ranch... Especially since I believe the number 3 is bad luck in Japan?

And I had to agree with Mike “Yippee-Aye-Eh!” King for once; URGH! As that’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a Fast-Six shootout qualifier being excluded from participation too... While Mark “Graveley” James was in rare form this morning, as I think he had to turn off his microphone to keep from going ballistic upon Race Control after correctly belaboring the point of how UNFAIR the re-inclusion of the supposed number seven qualifier to the Fast Six was, as Tristan Vautier and the Schmidt-Peterson Motorsports gang had already towed their No. 55 entry back to the IndyCar paddock while Race control serenely threw the green flag on final qualifying and excluded Car No. 14 from participating; WTF?

As Vautier waited anxiously to re-insert himself in his car, which was devoid of its seat and steering wheel, not to mention most likely not having the proper tyres mounted... As Vautier didn’t take to the track until the four-and-one-half minute mark of the ten minute session; while ‘Taku-san (Takuma Sato) was demoted to 12th for blocking Justin Wilson in the latter stages of Round-2 and hence, had his fastest two laps rescinded!

And Wilson wasn’t the only driver Hot under the Collar, as apparently thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe called out ‘DJ WillyP (Will Power) for blocking him during group two of Round-1 qualifying, albeit Power escaped being penalized.

As I said before, Mark James was on fire, as Jake “The Riddler” Query backtracked from proclaiming that The ‘Graminator’s (Graham Rahal) teammate was quicker than him once again when interviewing him... To which “Grahamcracker” sounded overly WHINY when trying to explain how he was actually quicker lap time wise then James Jakes, but for some reason group one’s times were quicker than group two’s... To which James succinctly said: YOU WEREN’T! SHUHZAMM!

As perhaps it was just Mwah, but Graham sounded like he was channeling the mopey, whiney, spoiled inner child of last year’s Marco Andretti; YIKES!

While if I was Beaux Barfield, I’d be embarrassed by that sad display of who’s really the final car in the Fast Six Shootout? I mean C’mon, at least be fair about it, delay the start and allow A-L-L six competitors to have the FULL 10mins to decide their respective strategies, will Yuhs! Or does this mean we’ll now be ‘Cornfuzed by seeing seven cars sitting in the Pits with the first alternate playing trailer like they do in Unlimited Hydroplanes... Huh? But I thought there were only supposed to be six cars in the fast six; Oh Never Mind!

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