Moving Targets - Two sets of Different Mountains Climbed...

So what can I say that Y’all don’t already know, as I spent the majority of last Sunday inside straining to S-E-E anythingy of substance onscreen whilst staring mightly at thee ‘Telie when first watching the live broadcast of the Pocono IndyCar race and then after lunch watching the tape of the German Grand Prix at Der Nurburgring, which holds fond memories for Mwah, since attending I-T ‘Wayback in Twenty-oh-Two; Ja-Ja, indeedy!

Nurburgring,2002

And wasn’t that done much better this time ‘round Mates, as we all were informed ahead of time of the race being on CNBC - which I had to look up in my TV guide to see if I had I-T? Which thankfully I do, especially since comca$t just once again INCREASED my monthly bill another $2.25, a 3% increase; SHEISA! (Like everybody got a 3% raise this year, right?) As Formula 1 has been moved the past two weeks since thy Tour de Farce bicycle race is far more important; Err incurs higher commercial revenues, eh?

Thus, NO SCREAMING at Leigh Diffey ‘N NBCSN this time, and GASP! Even ABC managed to plug the upcoming Toronto IndyCar race three times vs. two Doublewide ‘RASSCAR plugs!

Didn’t have a chance to listen to Pocono qualifying via IMS Radio Network since I was Out ‘N Aboot, so I didn’t get to hear Dario Franchitti tell his crew over the radio: “This is Embarrassing!” After qualifying 20^th, whilst his teammates Scott Dixon wound-up P17 with surprisingly their “Junior Birdman” Charlie Kimball being the fastest Target-mobile with his twelfth place effort. As the ‘Cheepster’s arch nemesis Roger Penske’s Boyz would roll off fourth and sixth, Will Power starting ahead of Helio Castroneves, while it was an all Andretti Autosport affair upon the front row with Marco Andretti claiming Pole ahead of teammates Ryan Hunter-Reay and James Hinchcliffe respectively.

But the driver I was most interested about was Ryan Briscoe who was pulling double duty this weekend by shuttling between Lime Rock Park Raceway in Connecticut for the American Le Mans Series race, where he claimed his first Sports Car Pole position for the LMP2 class before racing to victory on Saturday and then originally intending to start dead last in the B-I-G CARZ at thee “Tricky Triangle” Sunday as part of the Panther Racing substitute drivers Merry-go-round...

As Briscoe would ultimately roll off P19 after a flurry of ‘Honder lumps being changed, most notably for the two Target boyz Dixon & Franchitti - both incurring 10-spot grid penalties...

Late Saturday afternoon I watched my tape of ‘Qualie from Der Nurburgring, which was a bit bizarre for Mwah rootin’ against thee TWINKIE BOY, aka ‘Seb Vettel, who’s become my current Bad Boy of F1 and hence I was hoping for Lewis Hamilton to spoil Vettel’s party as its shocking to think that it was the first Pole position at the “Ring” for a Mercedes since El Maestro Juan Fangio Manuel did so in 1954 aboard a Silver Arrows chassis at the mighty Nordschleife, better known as the Green Hella! Where Mercedes entered four of its all conquering W196’s which interestingly, German driver Karl Kling ignored Team orders and passed leader Fangio before ultimately finishing fourth, with Fangio winning the race ahead of two Ferrari’s, with the second place car being co-driven by “El Cabezón” (José Froilán González) and future World Champion Mike Hawthorn, while the podium’s final step went to Maurice Trintignant.

Ironically, earlier that morning I read two stories in the New York Times about the vaunted W196 of which a lone example is set to go on the auction block shortly, no less being a Fangio driven chassis, which even more ironically won the ’54 German GP and most likely will set A New Auction Record for price, while there are some ten remaining examples in existence, one of which resides at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s Hall of Fame museum...

A Singular Mercedes Aims for AnotherRecord

While I also enjoyed the story about ‘Journo Leo Levine accidently buzzing this very same chassis to 10,200RPM’s after having been given a very strict 7,500RPM limit, having buzzed the engine due to its reverse shifting pattern; OOPS!

A Drive of a Lifetime, Nearly Ending inMechanical Mayhem

Thus the most shocking part about qualifying for the German GP was the horrendous Foopah Mercedes made by sitting thee Great Nico (Rosberg) during the Q2 ‘Qualie session thinking his time was safe only to see last week’s winner relegated to starting completely Dumbfounded in P11! While I’ve already alluded to Hamilton taking the Pole ahead of Vettel with teammate Mark Webber P3; while I really couldn’t make out much of anythingy during the Pocono race, which they claimed had a great turnout, which I hope is true, since it’s a very unique track and seems to race pretty good, albeit I’m sure that thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown has mixed feelings after smacking the wall on lap-1; OOFTAH!

While I cannot say that I really felt too bad for Marco Andretti as the Cheepster’s Boyz proved that the Tortoise is usually “faster” than the Hare, (Rabbit) as Marco’s most laps led of 88 was for naught after finishing tenth and running out of fuel at the end of the race, while Chip Ganassi celebrated his first ever podium sweep with Dixon leading Kimball and Franchitti home to Ganassi longtime sponsor Target’s 100^th IndyCar victory, which was also Honda’s 200^th IndyCar victory. As Honda swept four of the Top-5 finishing spots, with Penske’s Will Power finishing where he started in his Chevy followed home by SFHR’s Joseph Newgarden, who started from 15^th, while Briscoe soldiered home in 14^th.

And the absolute Brain Fade moment of the day had to go to Takuma Sato who out late-braked himself into the pits and rammed an unsuspecting Hunter-Reay, ultimately ruining both drivers race while AA Team Owner Mikey Andretti said over the radio: “I saw it with my own eyes, he’s an IDIOT!”

Meanwhile over in Der Fatherland, a pretty entertaining race of its own was taking place at the currently Bankrupt Nurburgring circuit, as the Mighty ‘Merc’s tyre problems resurfaced; NO! Not those exploding tyre troubles of Silverstone but instead the ones where the Mercedes simply runs off its rubber and cannot keep pace with the competition, as first Hamilton got swamped by the Red Bulls and then ultimately worked his way back up to a fifth place finish.

Yet the most impressive driver of the day was the much unloved Frenchie Romain Grosjean who actually chased leader Vettel for quite awhile but simply couldn’t overtake the German and ultimately was informed that “KIMI IS FASTHER THEN YOU!” Which is a very well known reference instructing the driver to move over for his teammate; Ja Volt!

And speaking ‘O teammates, Mark Webber did an amazing job to recover from his Pitstop where the team totally botched attaching the right rear wheel, effectively sending him off without I-T attached! As it careened down Pitlane and struck an unexpecting FOM Cameraman, who thankfully was unhurt. As Webber was forced to come from 21^st to a credible seventh place finish...

Yet the most BIZZARO incident of the day had to be Jules Bianchi’s Marussia going KABLAMOE! Or as ‘Hobbo (David Hobbs) exclaimed; that was a Double Kablamoe! And the ensuing fire was so BRIGHT! That it was one of the few thingys I could see clearly upon the screen; Aye Karumba! Yet I-T got even stranger, as the car summarily rolled across the track as Bianchi stood alongside the corner workers after the fire had been extinguished, resulting in an extremely long Safety Car period...

And like the Silverstone race preceding it, would the outcome have been different if the race had lasted a further lap? As even eventual winner Vettel said over the radio on his cool down lap that was a Hard One today, they really pushed me! In regards to Raikkonen’s late race blitz to less than one second behind at the stripe with teammate Grosjean finishing third after letting Kimi by to attack Vettel, who finally won his Home race, the first German to do so since the great Michael Schumacher did so seven years ago.

Fourth place went to Fredrico Suave, aka Fred Alonso, who’s Ferrari stopped abruptly after the final lap to which curiously there wasn’t any explanation for, while as mentioned earlier, Hamilton somewhat rebounded to round out the Top-5 placings, while the Birthday Boy ‘Seb Vettel, who just turned 26 notched up his 30^th Grand Prix victory and further widened his points lead. NO word on whether or not he likes Twinkies; Hya!

And NOT sure about this, but I found it to be totally new hearing the German National Anthem being played two weeks in-a-row for two different drivers, a la Nico Rosberg at Silverstone and then Vettel one week later in Germany, no less! As I cannot recall that ever happening in the modern F1 era...

2013 German GP Race Results

2013 F1 Points Standings

OWR: Shooting Stars - 2013 Edition

Columbian Carlos Munoz led the IndyCar Rookie contingent this May at Indianapolis. (Image source: espn.go.com)

Certainly I’m NO soothsayer of prodigious rising Open Wheel Racing talent, yet whilst mulling over my previous three picks for future Formula 1 Stardom; of which the least likely ‘Juan picked by Mwah has now landed his seat in the rarefied climes of Formula 1, i.e.; Esteban Gutierrez, who’s now driving for the Sauber F1 Team this year... While thee Young ‘Wicky, a la Robert Wickens, and Alexander Rossi both have ascended to F1 “Simulator Jockey” (test/reserve driver) status, albeit Rossi did actually partake in one Friday morning Free Practise-1 session last year at Barcelona for Caterham. As Rossi’s now contesting the GP2 series for the Leafield outfit and will also participate in this year’s forthcoming 24 Heurs du Mans whilst Wickens is currently plying his trade in the DTM for Mercedes, as I thought the former World Series by Renault champion would be the first into F1...

Thus, with it being a new year, resolutions ‘N all, ‘Whale at least when I began scribblin’ this; SHEISA! Can it already be June and half of the year gone? OOPS! It’s now July and thus the title seemed well suited to some ‘lil ‘Ol Holiday us Yanks just celebrated...

Hence, I thought it high time to take a crack at this once again, although I’m not really going too far out on a limb, and probably should leave it to our Junior Open Wheel Talent (JOWT) spotter Ryan instead, right?

Thus here goes nothing, (In a story that’s quickly morphing into another monster) as these are my picks for drivers of tomorrow to watch out for today - while I’m most enamored by the relatively unknown Tristan Nunez, who I’d ‘LUV to see get snapped up by the powers-to-be in IndyCar, i.e.; Penske, Ganassi, Andretti, or upcoming Playuhs’ like Sam Schmidt or Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing!

And as I’ve already noted, time is simply screaming by this year like most, as I’ve only managed to trip across one GP2 race being aired upon NBCSN whilst not catching anything on GP3 nor having had time to pay attention to the lower rungs of the vaunted “Road to Indy,” which I sincerely hope they fix the apathetic state of Indy Lights immediately! Although I’ve already witnessed its demise twice; know at least once when it was the Dayton Indy Lights during the CART era... 

Tristan Nunez

Country: USA

Age: 17 (10/31/95)

Its hard to believe that I ‘learn-ED ‘bout this aspiring Sports Car driver just shy of one year now, as Mary Ellen read a nice story to Mwah about him in a tiny “Fish wrap” newspaper in Eugene, Oregon as we awaited the arrival of ‘“Panda” from Burning Man at the Train Station. As the Floridian teenager was then knocking upon the door of winning the 2012 Prototype Lights championship, which he subsequently took on the back of eleven wins in his rookie season!

Nunez then was named a Team USA scholarship recipient and capped off his season by taking victory in the prestigious Walter Hayes Trophy race - besting the likes of Peter Dempsey, (presumably the same Dempsey who just won the Indy Lights Freedom 100 in the Speedway’s closest ever finish - a four-wide photo finish by 0.0026-seconds! Not to mention also being a three time Walter Hayes Trophy winner) while Tristan has now turned “Pro” at the tender age of 17 and is contesting the Grand Am’s GX category as a Mazda “Works” driver along with contesting the ALMS’s Prototype Lights Challenge class, as Y’all can read all about I-T in his very thorough About section by clicking here.

Yet alas, Nunez seems solely focused upon a Sports Car career over the possibility of running the Indianapolis 500 one day, having just notched his debutant GX class victory aboard the Mazda 6 Skyactive Diesel racecar, ironically on The Captain’s (Roger Penske) home turf...

Nunez scores first Grand-Am win atBelle Isle

Mathew Brabham

Country: USA

Age: 19 (2/25/94)

Obviously I’m not the only one who thinks he’s got some talent, eh? As the 2012 US F2000 champion was promptly snapped up by Andretti Autosport for its assult on the 2013 Pro Mazda Series, while I believe he was also a Team USA Scholarship recipient a la Tristan Nunez and has continued his winning ways in this season’s Pro Mazda campaign.

And yep, if you’re thinking that last name sounds familiar, Mathew is indeed the grandson of Australian triple F1 world champion Sir Jack ‘Blackjack Brabham, as his father Geoff was a four-time IMSA GTP champion along with making multiple starts in the Indy 500...

Chris Yano

Country: USA

Age: 34 (4/30/79)

Hey, yuhs gotta root for the O-L-D guy right? As Yano’s a relatively late bloomer at the age of 34 who’s chasing his dreams of making it to 16^th & Georgetown one day as a driver by cutting his teeth as a rookie in this year’s Pro Mazda Series. Y’all can check him out by clicking here.

ZachVeach

Country: USA

Age: 18 (12/9/94)

Another driver who’s growing on Mwah, although I haven’t seen him race yet; I should get the chance finally at this year’s Freedom 100. But what I like best about the miniscule “Kindergardener” is his attitude & personality, which I think his driving talent matches? As he’ll be on the steep end of the learning curve in the Indy Lights this coming year...

Robin Frijns

Country: Netherlands

Age: 21 (8/7/91)

Know very little about this driver other than it was entertaining hearing NBCSN’s ‘Wee Willie Buxom, aka Will Buxton ask Lotus F1 Simulator Jockey Jerome d'Ambrosio is it Frihns or “Freens” to which Jerome said it’s the same person; Hooah!

Yet this aspiring ‘Neederlander has vaulted up the Open Wheel Racing “Feeder” ranks quickly, having won the Eurocup Renault 2.0 title on his first crack in 2011 before barging his way into the 2012 World Series by Renault title amid controversy upon ‘Turfing off title rival Jules Bianchi during the final race!

As Frijns now firmly fixes his sights upon F1, having been signed as Sauber’s test and reserve driver whilst keeping his reflexes sharp in the GP2 series by having taken over Conor Daly’s seat and promptly scoring his debutant GP2 win for the brand new Hilmer Motorsport concern...

Esteban Guerrieri

Country: Argentina

Age: 28 (1/19/85)

I really like this Argentinean’s machismo, who sometimes isn’t “Politically Correct” but can definitely hustle a car and drive the proverbial wheels off of it! As Estaban was one of eventual Indy Lights champion Tristan Vautier’s fiercest rivals - and hopefully will be back once again as I was hoping he’d become Sam Schmidt’s lead gun for the Indy Lights title this year, but apparently fell afoul of that ominous lack of funding thingy that’s been sweeping the Paddock’s now for several seasons, as Esteban has fallen afoul of this multiple times, including lack of funding for a KV Racing Technology seat in Indy Cars and F1 with Manor Motorsports which became the Virgin F1 Team and then rebranded as Marussia F1.

And while I have NO idea where he’s gone off to? It’s a shame he’s not racing Stateside after having finished runner-up in Indy Lights the past two years respectively behind Sam Schmidt Motorsports stable mates Joseph Newgarden and Tristan Vautier (by a scant 8pts) who’ve both gone onto IndyCar careers!

According to his ‘WICKEDpedia page, Esteban has returned to his homeland to take up participating in this year’s Touring Cars Turismo Carretera aboard a Dodge for Oil Competizion...

Antonio Felix da Costa

Country: Portugal

Age: 21 (8/31/91)

This young Portuguese rising star first made a name for himself by winning the 2009 Renault 2.0 NEC Cup before garnering further attention by winning the prestigious Macau street race last year, along with notching up an impressive four wins during his debutant World Series by Renault campaign - now contesting the full season with the newly formed Arden-Caterham team.

as a Red Bull Junior driver, da Costa along with Frihns both took turns behind the wheel of the dominant Red Bull chassis at last year’s Young Drivers test in Abu Dhabi and I’m guessing that he and Frihns potentially could be battling over one of Scuderia Toro Rosso’s seats for the 2014 season?

Carlos Munoz 

Country: Columbia

Age: 21 (2/2/92)

This soft spoken and very humble Columbian vaulted to the mainstream’s attention after his stirring debut at Mother Speedway, where not only did he out qualify his four other Andretti Autosport teammates, i.e.; reigning IndyCar champion Ryan Hunter-Reay, Marco Andretti, James Hinchcliffe and E.J. Viso, but also finished ahead of A-L-L of them en route to Rookie Of the Year honours with an outstanding runner-up finish to Tony Kanaan.

Although Munoz didn’t look very happy after the Freedom 100, where he’d started from Pole and led the majority of the race before getting picked off by those closely trailing him en route to the closest finish ever at Indianapolis! Its funny thinking that his current “Day Job” is in the Indy Lights and surely he’s now gotta be odds on favourite to win the title this year?

Jack Hawksworth

Country: UK (Great Britain)

Age: 22 (2/28/91)

Only learned about this driver nicknamed “Union Jack” late last year after he’d shattered the then Star Mazda record books on his way to the title in his rookie season by scoring the series most wins, poles and fastest laps in a season and now looks set to battle against Carlos Munoz for the Indy Lights title. (Well at least he did earlier this season, as apparently he’s struggling on the Ovals right now - having even gone so far as to switch race engineer...)

Conor Daly

Country: USA

Age: 21 (12/15/91)

Can’t leave out Conor, who although just had a very trying “Month;” err Week of May, nevertheless did complete his rookie Indy 500 outing with a y place finish before going back to his “Day Job” as a GP3 racecar driver... As Conor, like many, have aspirations of racing in Formula 1 one day in the near future...

And I’m most certain there’s countless others whom I mean NO disrespect to by not naming, with the likes of Felipe Nasr, Marcus Eriksson and Alice Powell coming to mind, not to mention any upcoming Hosers from Up North Eh! (‘KuhNucks) As thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown shouldn’t be expected to carry the flame solo in Indy Cars once ‘TAG finally departs, eh? And thus if Y’all know of any aspiring Open Wheel racers needing mention, please leave me their name in the comments section below...

Although I did happen to spot this awhile ago via Ryan’s JOWT blog, profiling an aspiring KuhNuck driver named Stefan Rzadzinski

, who’s sometimes known as “Steve Radd,” check I-T out here;

Stefan Rzadzinski takes “Steve Radd” onthe Road to Indy

The Tomaso Files: Sand, Spirit, Speed, Summer Silliness, Snot and Sadness...

TBF Avenger. (Image source: microworks.net)

“Catch the Spirit, Catch the Spit.

Catch the Wisdom, Catch the Wit!”

(RUSh: Tom Sawyer - Moving Pictures, 1981)

Ah, the life of a Blogger, eh? As this riveting tale was originally intended to be posted last week but alas, like all good stories here at No Fenders... Uhm, some ‘Aussie F1 Bloke decided to make his retirement announcement and hence...

Thus, it was wonderful to once again get away from Zed Keyboard, Snarling traffic, the requisite thumm-Thum-Thumping POS Car’s Bass, the next door neighbor’s CRAPY ARSE Mustang exhaust which grows louder every time he works upon I-T! The Telephone and technology in general a Fortnight ago...

Although typically portions of the Sand Dunes are replaced by the relentless Brap-Brap-Brapping of various sorts of Off-road vehicles big ‘N small assaulting the Dunes, fortunately my trusty Travelin’ companion Mary Ellen took us to portions far away from the relentless noise pollution...

And the timing of said trip couldn’t have been better, since my chariot’s arrival wasn’t slated ‘til Sunday, first giving me ample time to watch/listen to the Milwaukee Indyfest on duh ‘Peacock-lite, which I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but its IndyCar broadcasts clearly seem head ‘N shoulders above ABC’s, as NBCSN appears to actually give a SHIT while ABC simply sees I-T as an excuse to soak up money whilst plugging thee CRAP outta its competing Doublewide or Sprint Cup races; Yeehaw!

As I did find it funny that I wasn’t the only one ponderin’ this? As according to thee oldest IndyCar Blogger TWIT-ER was awash with these sediments; Err sentiments; Hya!

Alas, is I-T possible that thee fine folks at the Dizney Shoppin’ Networks (abc/espn) purposely tried to soil Indy Cars outlook for the “Casual Fan” during Primetime at TexArse? This is a steering wheel, each driver has one that he uses to make his car turn left or further left to go around the track and his fellow competitors; but I digress! (As hopefully we’re FINI with the ABC TV portion of the schedule...)

And my Chariot’s ride for this latest adventure, a trusty Y2k Dodge GRAND Caravan, albeit devoid of any rich Corinthian leather; Hya! Mini-van’s arrival was so late that I actually got to watch the re-airing of the night’s Wind Tunnel with Ye ‘Ol Windbag Dave Despain at 9PM Pacific - since I’d mistakenly thought it started at 5:30PM instead of 5PM originally.

Hence, our “excuse” for making said trip to Florence; NO! NOT that Florence, as in Mrs. Brady; Hooah! (Who’ll hopefully retire from her singing career...) But a somewhat sleepy ‘lil town on the Oregon coast upon the Pacific Ocean was to donate some very ancient World War II artifacts to the forthcoming;

 

Oregon Coast Military Heritage Museum

Having squirreled away various books ‘N trinkets over the year’s - including a great vintage Spitfire poster, along with actual WWII Naval uniforms worn in battle by ‘Awntie Harriet’s brother Thomas who’d been a radio operator - this seemed the perfect way to let go of some of my “Prized Possessions” while also getting to spend some time with our good friends at ‘Beverly Manor.

As the weather was pretty much decent, albeit intermittent showers off/on first few days before getting to walk on the beaches several times along with taking in some GURR-REAT! Sunsets plus catching the fast approaching “Super Moon,” albeit of course it’d be totally cloudy upon the actual night in question! Although we did see a nearly FULL moon Friday night; not to mention getting to take a tiny barge ferry which held approximately 20-25 vehicles max - having no superstructure to speak of.

With the barge being pulled across by an underwater cable that seemingly was operated by electric winches? As this was the only machinery sound I could make out as the extremely short ride, five minutes? Cost 2-bucks for cars & $1 for motorcycles to cross upon the Willamette River which we unexpectedly took on our way south.

Disembarking said ferry, Mary Ellen pointed out how the local Sherriff’s patrol car was anxiously awaiting any speeders upon this portion of two-lane road which led us thru the lush, fertile Willamette valley - to which she spotted a fresh fruit stand on the side of the road, asking do you want any fresh Strawberries? SCREEEEEEEEEECCCCCCHHHHHH!!!! Otay, NOT that bad, just going for sound effects there, as Mary Ellen whipped the mighty Dodge Caravan round telling the older Gentleman Farmer selling them that we’d try not eating A-L-L of them before arriving at our friends Housianda to which he very cleverly replied back: “I WON’T TELL THEM!” As we chortled in unison to what seemed like a somewhat clairvoyant Sergeant Schultz moment; Ya Volt?

In what would become a comedic theme throughout our trip, I innocently asked what time is it. To which I was informed that the Dodge’s clock was some four hours and fifteen minutes fast! Not 4hrs or four and one-half, nope, it was four and one quarter hours ahead, which I suppose was better than being four and three quarter hours ahead for ryth-Muh-tickin’ sakes, eh? And thus for instance, we knew when the clock said 9:15PM it was really only 5Pm instead; Hya!

Chihuahua dog portrait. (Image source: commons.wikimedia.org)

For our first outing, we headed off to our favourite beach locale, off the beaten path as it gave access to the beach for a different type of “Horsepower,” a la Horsey-riders to which Mary Ellen promptly told me to take Pixie, her minnowesqu Chee-chee-chee-Chihuahua mix as she firmly held thee ‘Ol Lady, the Grumpy Miss Molly, a Tibetan-mix in her mitts as there were a group of six/eighth Horses headed directly towards us; YIKES!

OOH! Look at the cute puppy! (In regards to Pixie) Nearly all of the riders said as they passed us by very closely on Horses as we stood motionless in the tall grass adjoining the sandy path - which later on I’d remark about how I seemingly tended to “Push” as opposed to bein’ loose, which Y’all know is ‘RASSCAR slang for understeer and oversteer.

As we got further down the beach, we came across a sign telling us that Dogs, People and Kite flying was VERBOTTEN! Due to the newly erected signs claiming that it was vital to protect the habitats of the (controversial) Western Snowy Plover - to which I rambled on ‘N on about the FREAKIN’ Clover! Huh? I thought you were supposed to have SUPER hearing Mary Ellen retorted; Hee-hee-hee...

As it was actually Plover instead of Clover - and we’d somehow missed the signs prior to the trail warning us of this.

Since on a further day upon a different beach trail, we’d encounter a Nature Photographer who’d moved there from New England 15yrs ago who explained to us how it’s a total political Hot-potato! As the aforementioned Plover isn’t even a native species, having migrated from the Desert, which of course NONE of the proliferation of ‘Offical signage we’d come across eluded to this, instead just claiming that they were historically linked to the region instead.

Yet the man told us a funny story about how the whole local population was up in arms about this, specifically the NO DOGS policy - claiming the first erected sign declaring this brand new policy lasted a total of eight-hours before magically disappearing!

Yet he cautioned us upon letting our FURR-rocious Dawgie’s off of their leashes, saying that they (Park Dept ‘Ossifers) are quite ANAL about the new regs’ and we could be fined several hundred dollars for a bird that’s NOT even native, so please be careful...

WesternSnowy Plover

A few more sites of interest we passed upon our journey were:

• The D-river

(Shortest river in America, according to its sign)

• Depot Bay
• 45^th Parallel
• Cape Petchalence

(Equals Tomaso-ism for what’s actually Cape Perpectua)

• Cape Kiwanda

(Skipped I-T this time, as I wasn’t inclined to do the Death Hill march!)

• Smuggler’s Cove
• “Astoria Triangle”

Also stuck my white cane in the Columbia River (a first) on way home after camping overnight at campgrounds just north of Astoria, which were Very nice campgrounds except for the F%%KING Fog horn that first BLASTED us at 8:30AM; Err, I meant 4:15AM; SHEISA! Which went off twice more, but fortunately it’s designed to only go off when there’s commercial “barge” traffic on the river, after what had been a very late night, finally arriving at said campground sometime near/after 11PM, I meant 3:23AM; Oh Never Mind!

As we’d become temporarily lost in what I quickly decried as the Astoria Triangle, since as darkness approached, Mary Ellen said our campground is about another hour away or should we just go to the nearby State Park campground in Astoria instead? Thus I suggested the latter since we’d been in the Dodge all day long, albeit having stopped at multiple spots along the coast including a great ‘lil somewhat unknown beach site before the day’s final outing at one of my now favourite spots known as Smuggler’s Cove where wetsuit clad surfers flock too, along with ‘Dawgie’s FREE to roam the beach...

Thus we turned around and drove a little while into the ever consuming darkness before we decided to turn back around, drove a little further and then said Otay, lets go there instead, turning back around again and driving forever before Mary Ellen said screw I-T and turned the Dodge back around again, since after having seen the sign we’d seen NOTHING else after having driven several miles! Then we arrived back in Astoria and Mary Ellen pointed out another sign to said State Park campground while silently in my head I said forget I-T! But we turned in the direction the second sign pointed and instead drove again in circles for several more minutes in what appeared to be truly out in the country as there weren’t ANY bright (city) lights anywhere’s... And after this 35-45+ minute of driving in circles, as Hey! Four lefts really DOES make a circle; Hooah! Guess what? She finally spotted the entrance to said campground with a FULL sign upon I-T; SHEISA! So off to her original planned campground instead... As all I could think of was how we hadn’t spotted the missing squadron of TBF Avengers; Hya! Although fortunately we’d managed to elude the grasp of that slippery Astoria Triangle, so YUK! Mission Accomplished, right? 

Hence, not returning home ‘til 8:48PM; Err 4:33PM Sunday afternoon a week later, I missed A-L-L of the car racing going on ‘round the globe that weekend, i.e.; Le Mans, Iowa, etc. And although I’d taped six hours of Le Mans coverage, I did the unusual and elected to watch Ye ‘Ol Windbag instead and learn the results immediately, which typically I’m totally against doing, as I’d somehow totally forgotten about the Iowa IndyCar Cornfest; CRIKEYS!

And now that I’m back to trying to poond out riveting stories for Y’all, I find myself constantly wishing my extremely O-L-D 'Confuzer would work the way IT’S supposed 2; 'Whale actually the Zoomtext10.0 Screen reader portion that the AI Squared BASTARDOES FUCKED UP with their last Blockpoint change; (6/11) Blah-blah-blah!

As I thought I was off to finish watching my six hours of Le Mans tapeage, which we all know that sadly Allan Simonsen lost his life in, but alas, another impending Holiday plus this A-L-L consuming ‘BLOB thingy and news of Webber’s decision to go for a ‘Walkabout in Sports Cars got in duh way of ‘Dat, as I find it hilarious that I discovered the Webber story via the Minny Ha-Ha Star’s Motorsports page and that The Guardian didn’t have anything in its lately GOOBERED Sports section; Aye Karumba!

And after returning to Seattle’s typical gray, cloudy and wet weather, albeit it felt like we were in Hawaii Sunday afternoon as it sprinkled in extremely warm temperatures before I had a weather advisory for Thunderstorms ‘N Flooding upon my Telephone News service - which subsequently was replaced with a new warning for excessive HEAT which ended Monday night at 11PM; Yada-yada-yada.

As Seattle did indeed break its heat record for July 1^st, albeit not as oppressive as the southwest’s, i.e.; Arizona, nevertheless since the majority of Seattleites DON’T have AC thus 90-degrees with 75-80% humidity is pretty nasty for us, as apparently it won’t be a typical Northwest Fourth which is usually inundated by that wet stuff commonly known as precipitation...

Heat record broken, but cooler tempson way

Although nice and toasty the past several Dazes, we’ve actually endured worse in the past which I scribbled ‘bout in another riveting blog post titled;

The HEAT is ON!

Although our unseasonably H-O-T weather is nothing compared to what the southwest just endured, with Scottsdale, AZ having endured 115-118+ degrees - making my Bing Bookmark weather page for Scottsdale making me laugh when it somehow defaulted to 85254 Germany and proclaimed it was an unseasonably cool 50-degrees; WTF? Not to mention the tragic fire sweeping thru Prescott, while ‘los wages (Las Vegas) was enduring the same climatic temps as AZ and Death Valley was expected to tip the scales at 129! Just shy of its all time record of 134; YIKES! So stay COOL Yuh’s Hear!

Happy 4^th ‘Oh July, Y’all!

As never fear for A-L-L of uze sayin’ isn’t this supposed to be a racing blog? I’ll get back to the motorsports thingy next week...

F1: Pirelli responds to Silverstone Tyre Fiasco...

Holy Deflating Tyres Batman! As Y’all surely have to say that this year’s British Grand Prix was a nightmare for current F1 rubber supplier Pirelli, as we all witnessed four different competitor’s left rear tyre’s go KABLAMOE! Including then leader Lewis Hamilton’s Mercedes and Ferrari’s Felipe Massa, as Pirelli has been quick to respond to the overt criticism it’s received from this most unsightly turn of events...

Pirelli’s Full Statement on theSilverstone Debacle

Yet, its interesting that ‘Merc’s Ross Brawn has contradicted Pirelli’s assertion’s that it was running its tyre pressures too low, although allegedly Mercedes may have been running the Asymmetrical tyres Bass-Ackwards...

FIA Should Monitor Tyre pressuressays Brawn

F1: The British Grand Prix - Now and Then...

Formula 1's Greatest Drivers - Jose Froilan Gonzalez. (Image source: AUTOSPORT.com)

As I was somewhat tempted to use the title “The British Are Coming, the British Are Coming” instead, due to the proximity of some ‘lil ‘Ol holiday us ‘Yanks celebrate on July 4^th... 

But surely Y’all know by now, la Scuderia’s debutant Formula 1 winner José Froilán González  died at the age of 90 recently, as the portly Argentine was nicknamed "the Pampas bull" by adoring British Fans along with "El Cabezón,"

The latter translating to ‘Fathead, which fellow competitors called him instead.

Nevertheless, El Cabezón so impressed “Il Commendatore,” nee Enzo Ferrari that he hired him to pilot one of his scarlet racecar’s for the 1951 Grand Prix season after Froilán had impressed vs. countryman and eventual five time F1 World Champion Juan Manuel Fangio...

As González’s debutant victory came one year after the inaugural British Grand Prix that I’ve scribble previously ‘bout in:

Birth of the Modern F1 Championship

Whilst Fredrico Suave capped off a memorable Silverstone victory for la Scuderia two years ago after piloting González’s winning Ferrari earlier in the morning as part of celebrating the 60^th Anniversary of said victory - with the winning Ferrari 375 model being owned by Uncle Bernaughty, nee Mr. Bernard Ecclestone...  

Thus with Froilán’s passing, a silly thought entered my head, probably partially due to a subject that’s been near me lately, i.e.; the Grim Reaper and its ensuing death, as surely thee GURR-REAT ‘Awntie Harriet who’ll be 94 this September is getting one day closer as A-L-L the rest of  us are right?

Thus moving along from this Maudlin thought bubble, I pondered to myself if Messer González was the oldest living competitor from his inaugural Gran Primo victory, the 1951 British Grand Prix, as I’d incorrectly surmised (to myself) that Sir Stirling Moss was there too.

Hence, a somewhat quick perusal denoted that twenty competitors took part, albeit Irishman Joe Kelly is listed as nc (not classified) out of the seven drivers retiring - out of this field of total competitors that comprised one reigning and two eventual world champions, with inaugural 1950 F1 world championship winner Giuseppe Farina, the aforementioned Fangio, and future double world champ Alberto Ascari.

As the top two steps of the podium were occupied by Argentineans that day, with González besting countryman Fangio, a feat El Cabezón, would accomplish twice during his F1 career, with Argentine’s only other F1 winner later being the ‘Raging bull Carlos Reutmann...  

There were a total of five Italians: Luigi Villoresi, Felice Bonetto, Consalvo Sanesi, Farina, and Ascari. While Great Britain accounted for the most contestants with the likes of Reg Parnell, Peter Walker, Brian Shawe-Taylor, (Dublin, Ireland) Peter Whitehead, Bob Gerard, Duncan Hamilton, (Cork, Ireland) Philip Fotheringham-Parker, David Murray, (Edinburgh, Scotland) and John James, with there being a further four nations represented singularly by Belgium’s Johnny Claes who was also a talented Jazz musician with his own band Johnny Claes and The Clay Pigeons. (As Tommy ‘Slim Borgudd was the only previous musician turned F1 racer I was aware of...) France’s Louis Rosier, Ireland’s Joe Kelly and Louis Chiron of Monaco, born in 1899 and was the races elder statesman at the age of 52.

The first four finishers were split evenly by Ferrari and arch rival Alfa Romeo, as la Scuderia entered three of its 4.5-liter naturally aspirated V-12 375 models for González, Ascari and Villoresi, who finished third while Ascari retired, while rival Italian manufacturer Alfa Romeo had four “Works” entries of its domineering 1.5-liter Straight-8 Supercharged 159 on hand for Fangio, Farina, Bonetto (4^th) and Sanesi with the first non-Italian make being Reg Parnell’s BRM in fifth place.

José Froilán González: 1922-2013

Thus, fast forward sixty-two years into the future to when as Mary Ellen informed me over the long, H-O-T weekend that I’d simply LOST I-T! As the weekend’s viewing of the modern day Grand Prix was very chaotic at best, as I’d managed to once again set the ‘Ol School Memorex-machine upon the SPEED channel for Friday’s ‘qualie coverage; Hey! O-L-D habits die hard apparently, eh? As I said oh FUCK as I turned the tape onto a very old re-airing of Whips, which I’d adorned as ‘Whipes; Hooah! And planned to watch the replay at 9PM Pacific - before I knew I’d be off to Tacoma for the weekend instead, after first breaking out Ye ‘ol Wallet and ordering a new ‘Desktop “tower” Confuzer as Mary Ellen was tiring of my constant complaining about how much Ai Squared has FUCKED UP ‘Lucy, my ess-STEAMED Screen Reader, claiming that ‘Lucy’s been given an ultimate makeover which I simply cannot S-E-E!

Then upon our multiple errands, we ran into the local Friday night Cruise-in at Taco Time and hence I found myself getting to check out some vintage cars ‘N trucks on a pretty hot night for us  Western “Warshintonians...” As I got to hang out ‘N chat with a very pleasant gentleman who’d driven his Model T to the event from Everett, WA, telling me it’d been a twelve-year restoration project, he’d actually driven it on the freeway and the cowling was British Racing Green with the rest of the body being yellow, before Mary Ellen returned with the panting ‘Hoonds and we set off to go for a quick look-see.

There were lots of very kOOL old carz, including a Zed-28 with obligatory white double wide stripes and a bunch of very old Rods, i.e.; Buicks, Pontiac’s, etc, while I was really enamored by a beautiful midnight blue? ‘Chebbie pickup truck... While we both marveled in astonishment at the one vehicle that truly looked out of place, a FREAKIN’ AMC Gremlin; Aye Karumba!

Saturday I sat ‘N listened to the ‘Qualie show from Jolly “Ol England via the magic of television in what seemed a pretty dour qualifying session, albeit its refreshing to see the Mighty ‘Merc’s having the all conquering Red Bulls covered - as although I was pulling for “Nico-the-Great” (Rosberg) instead, I was happy for “Louise ‘JAGUAR” Hamilton claiming pole, albeit not quite as delirious as his British subjects were, whilst ‘TWINKIE BOY was nipping at the Mercedes duo’s heels as always...

Then as qualifying came to a close, I said vociferously out-loud: BASTARDOES! Causing Mary Ellen to cry out what? As Leigh Diffey interjected to be sure to catch the race live on CNBC at 7:30AM ET which left me seething and totally pissed off since I’d set my recording device to the originally published NBC Sports Network 11:30AM ET, broadcast which I believe is 8:30AM Pacific, right Dave? And just spent the rest of the day murmuring to myself FUCK YOU NBCSN!

And thus late Sunday morning Mary Ellen asked, don’t they re-broadcast the race? Yeah, but I don’t have a clue since I’ve recorded the wrong channel at the WRONG time, as I was so PISSED OFF at what I’d naturally ARSE-sumed duh Peacock-lite had done to us by pulling an ‘Ol Switcheroo that I was just so FUCKING DISGUSTED that I didn’t give a SHIT about the race anymore!

Thus imagine my surprise when Mary Ellen managed to find out the broadcast info stating that I’d actually taped the re-broadcast  at the right time on the right channel - to which she said you could have just watched I-T; SHEISA!

Thus further fuming towards Leigh Diffey whom I’m usually HIGH upon had totally bungled I-T by leading us to believe that they’d pulled an ABC/ESPN Switcheroo by NOT ever enunciating when the “Encore” presentation would be, as I was so pissed off that I wasn’t going to get up at 4-FRIGGIN’ 30-AM just in order to sit in the dark and listen to the broadcast! So if the Blowhards at NBCSN got an ultra LOW ratings for this year’s British GP they’ve got NOBODY but themselves to blame for the obscure channel placement and confusion caused by not spelling out when A-L-L of the broadcasts would be!

I mean C’mon, Y’all blather on ‘N on ‘Aboot how ‘Qualie works every FREAKIN’ time but you cannot manage to inform the “Casual Fan,” not to mention the DieHard fanatics when the re-broadcast will be? Oh Never Mind, as “Here’s your Sign” Diffey!

Thus, having just returned home Monday afternoon, I haven’t had a chance to watch what hopefully is the correctly taped “Encore” presentation and hence have NO clue if Hamilton was able to please the ‘Mega 100,000+ British audience as I’m off to watch the race a day late and Y’all know what I’m short of, right? Hya!