Monday, May 15, 2023

F1: Mirages on Miami’s Hard Rock Bay

Huh,  I Don’t see ‘Ol Don Johnson’s Cigarette Boat in the Hard Rock Stadium’s Harbour…


Perhaps it’s just being an “Off weekend” for Indy Cars that helped me focus upon the Miami Grand Prix? Or that the TV Broadcast times were overly pleasant for us West coast viewers for a change? Since I Didn’t bother getting up at Oh Dark 30 for Any of the Azerbaijan Grand Prix Uhm, “Action.”


As I Don’t wanna say that was a Dull race! But I cannot remember the last time I willingly switched Thy Telie’ off with nearly an Hour’s replay remaining Sunday evening in order to listen to a CD Audiobook instead! And Being more interested in the Adventures of Froto Baggins…


Also realized the obvious, that having TV Announcers, Err Pundits who are cohesive, knowledgeable, but Don’t take themselves to seriously Helps immensely! And even though I found myself wondering over whether ‘Ol Martin Billybob’ Brundle’s being “Eased Out” in favour of a younger Jenson Button? I got to enjoy lots of Face-time with my favourite Pundit fondly known simply as ANT’, aka Anthony Davidson! Who brings a fresh, easy to listen to perspective. And the chemistry between Him, Jense’ (Button) and either Kroftie’, aka David Kroft or Rachel Brooks was effusive! With the Cherry on Top being that my favourite Pitlane Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny! Dravitz was on Duty also.


Yet with another perceived Red Bull Whitewash, I started Hearing Sir Paul in my Head singing those familiar words; as sing it Paul!


“Fixing A Hole where the Rain Gets in, and Stops My Mind from Wondering where It will Go?”


Since although I’d laugh myself Silly if Checo’ could really, truly pull off the Sport’s biggest upset since I Dunno? Perhaps 2016, Eh? My Brain’s screaming you’re A Dreamer Sergio Perez! Thinking you can actually become World Champion over Red bull’s Golden Boy Maxi-Millions!


But then again, may be since Formula 1 is so very, very Dull right now! That’s All that the F1 Pundits can conjer up to talk about? And with Perez trailing Verstappen by only six points. Which Me thinks is the “tightest” the Points gap will be this season, then I’d say Tally Ho! “Smoke ‘em if You’ve Got ‘em!”


Hence this made me ponder just how many Formula 1 teammates had been F1 World Champions over the Decades? And this is what I mentally came up with.


1950-51: Alfa Romeo, Giuseppe Farina-Juan Manuel Fangio; 1966-67: Brabham, Jack Brabham-Dennis Hulme; 1984-85: McLaren, Niki Lauda-Alain Prost; 1988-89: McLaren, Ayrton Senna-Alain Prost; 1996-97: Williams, Damon Hill-Jacques Villeneuve; 2015-16: Mercedes, Lewis Hamilton-Nico Rosberg.


Thus in 73 years of modern era Grands Prix racing, this feat has only occurred six times. Making me think the Odds are stacked against Sergio Perez. And that’s even before we get to the Fact that Red Bull is Max Verstappen’s team!


Meanwhile, I can only Arse-sume that the pressure upon Williams F1 American rookie Logan Sargeant was sweltering that weekend, a la the temperatures around Miami Gardens Hard Rock Stadium! Especially since Y’all cannot “Cool” yourselves Down in Lake Hard Rock’s Wading Pool!


Heard Button saying that Logan’s face is on Billboards everywhere, and He’s on countless Magazine covers. And then Jense’ threw in some strange to Mwah Stat about Sargeant having scored three consecutive 16th place finishes and angling for four, Huh?


In Friday’s “Morning” Practice Session 1, Williams Team leader Alexander Albon was 15th with Logan P19. And then in (Free Practice) FP2, Albon improved to 10th, whilst Sargeant dropped to last in P20.


Hmm? Wonderin’ if Mikey A’ was quietly making the rounds in the F1 Paddock this weekend in Hopes of getting the European Boys Club to accept His Andretti Global’s application to become a Formula 1 Constructor?


As I’m simply, completely tired of the current F1 Theocracy and constantly Hearing the views of Red Bull’s Pied Piper Chris Horner and Mercedes Herr Crying Wolff! And why is Formula 1 so Afraid of having 24 Cars on it’s Grid?


As was it just a year ago when Micheal Andretti hurriedly borrowed a Miami dolphins folder to walk around the Paddock trying to get the ten F1 Team bosses to sign His piece of paper?


Saturday’s FP3 session saw Albon move up one position to ninth, ahead of both Mercedes and Aston Martins! While Sargeant improved to P17.


It was G-Damn Funny Hearing Kroftie’ say welcome back Martin Brundle as Qualie’ began…


Whilst going Onboard Sargeant’s car, Brundle noted He’d made a mess of the corner! As Logan would fail to advance out of Q1 and wound up P20.


Albon made it into Q2, but finished a tantalizing 11th, missing the “Cut” by one position. Before the Top-10 Pole Shootout was Red Flagged with 1:36 remainning and Sergio Perez on Pole! With Verstappen an unexpected P9.


Sunday I turned Thy Telie’ on just before High Noon Pacific, since the race was on ABC and just listed as a 3.5 Hours program, for which I know the Grand Prix itself has only a maximum time of two Hours. And just so happened to catch both of Brundel’s famous Grid Walks. With the latter being just Famous people…


Oh Hello Michael Andretti! Hows the application for your Formula 1 Team going? For which it was funny hearing Mikey A’ saying All the right things about Hoping to be Approved sometime this July. Before telling ‘Ol Billybob’ that they’d be racing in 2025 if approved, to which Martin was surprised. With Michael saying we’re working dillingently “Behind the Scenes” and will be ready to go with Cadillac…


Lastly, what in the Hell was All of that Stupendous Made for TV Hollywood Drivers intro racket by LL Cool J?


As I haven’t heard anything as Disgusting since the ‘Ol Rope-A-Dope Let’s Get Ready to Rumble Red Carpet Bullshit F1 Drivers intro at Circuit Of the Americas (COTA) several years ago! Which wisely Liberty Media Canned! For which they need to do again El Pronto! Even if I’ve read Liberty media’s planning to do this time of Bullshit up to eight times this year, FRACK!


As I’d been told that I couldn’t See how Liberty Media Had gone All Glitz ‘N Glamour this season, but I sure could Nauseatingly Feel It during the Pomp ‘N Circumstance, SPEW!


For which The Guardian’s F1 Reporter giles Richareds got 100% correct when He said that the race itself did Not live up to All of the Razz-muh-Tazz that Liberty Media so desperately wants for it’s “Destination” events…


As I’m glad to have read that the Drivers Arent’ impressed by this Nonsense either!


Uhm, look at All of the Purdy Mermaids Mom!