Thursday, May 4, 2023

The Tomaso Files: Blind Rider On A Bench!

Yeah Sorry ‘Ol Jimmy Morrison, I just couldn’t Help Myself…


Rider on A Bench

Rider on A Bench

May be the Taxicab will Come today

Rider on A Bench…


Today’s No Fenders story Kiddoes’ is about being Blind in a Rural Seaside Community where the town’s Main Drag is Highway 101! For which even with a “lighted” Blinking Road Signal Crosswalk. As a severely Blind person, I’m Not even remotely willing to try crossing independently! Since even if the posted speed limit is 55mph, we All know how much everybody follows the “Posted” speed limits. Especially on Twisty, Two lane Blacktop alongside the Ocean!


Thus today I’m scribblin’ about the Joys of being Blind and using our local Taxi service. For which Thankfully we have one with “Friendly” Drivers. So if you’re looking for a Motor Racing story, them come back Monday…


Took the Loccoe’ Taxi to our wonderful, Small Community Library the day before the premiere episode of 100 Days to Indy Aired. (Wednesday, 4/26)Which I forgot doesn’t open until 10AM, albeit that’s when I scheduled my Ride to arrive Thar. Being told my Taxi would arrive between 9-9:30AM for a five minute drive. Or should that have been A Three Minute ride? Sing It Gilligan…


And even with my Taxi Driver showing up late, I was still standing in front of the locked entrance Doors at 9:42AM; Since I have a Talking Keychain Clock.


This was after the Driver directed me verbally to the Door. Turn right. No, go straight.

No turn right. Ok, a little to the left – before I managed to put my hand upon the locked door handle.


Arse-suming that somebody would be coming and unlocking the doors, and would kindly tell me by opening it Ha-Ha! I decided to take a few small steps backwards, for which apparently I scooted farther rearwards than expected. Since 10AM came ‘N went and I heard what sounded like people opening a Book Drop, which was actually the entrance door, with multiple people just ignoring the Blind person with His White Cane standing outside! Presumably looking Cornfuzed?


Suddenly I thought, what’s going on Here? And managed to bump into the Bench the Taxi Driver had told me about when letting me off and directing me verbally to the door. For which I’d told Him I’d stand, Ah Ha! That must be people going inside the library, Ah Contrair, Wee-Wee?


So I turned around towards where I’d heard the door noise coing from and fumbled my way over to it and managed to make my way thru the first door into the lobby. Now to find the inner door, which was annoying! Since it was set inside a Floor to Wall of glass windows! As I found everythingy’ but the door handle with my hand, Oops, butterfingers! As somebody’s gonna have to clean the glass, Hya!


Having even found the middle door hinge after I’d gotten to the end of the wall, I knew I must be close. And then Eureka, Battleship! I located the second door handle and made it inside the library, Whew! Where Linda, a super nice, friendly Librarian said can I Help you? Yes, I want to first return three CD Audiobooks, since I’m Not going to try play finding the Drop Box slot on the Wall outside…


Yes, that’s No Problem, I understand, I’ll take those for you. Then I said next I wanted to go to the reference Desk. And Linda immediately came around the counter, gave me Her Arm and walked me there, which was great!.


My favourite Library employee Kevin was at the Reference Desk and I told Him I needed some help getting some new Audiobooks. So I asked about one of my favourite Authors, but they only had the Fairmyre Trilogy I’d just finished. And my second choice would need to be an Intra-library loan request. So I asked about the Lord of the Rings? Uhm No, looks like that’s only on Cassette, Say What? How about I go pull a bunch of choices, and bring them back and read the titles for you? Sounds Great! And Nope, No Tony the Tiger Jokes Here, Hya!


Kevin returned with an armload of books and said, we do have Lord of the Rings, they’re just under their specific titles. For which He brought all three volumes for me. Plus three other choices before saying should I give those to Linda to check out for you?


So I began making my way back towards the Checkout Counter and think I bumped into somebody before Linda came and collected me. And then She apologized for having such a cluttered counter with the plastic “Protection” (COVID-19) partition and small slot underneath it partially blocked by some plants and other Brick-a-brac…


As She offered to put them inside my Backpack, which I said I could manage. Although I hadn’t planned on getting six books and Don’t know if they’ll all Fit? To which Linda said cheerily, Why Not!


And Linda’s so Awesome as She even asked me if I knew the order to the three Lord of the Rings books? Ok, you’ll want to read Fellowship first, then Two Towers followed by Return of the King, i.e.; The Fellowship of the Ring, (1954) The Two Towers (1954) and The Return of the King. (1955)


As I had No Freakin’ Clue they were written nearly 70 years ago, Aye Karumba!


After I’d loaded my six books into my Backpack and said I gave the Taxicab too much time to pick me up, Linda escorted me outside to a nearby Bench. Telling me the one closest to the door had a broken Slat. I told Her my pickup was 11:15AM as I was seated on the bench at 10:21AM, Crikeys!


It’s nice living in a Friendly Community! As the first man who talked to me said that our local Shuttle “bus” service would Never “See” me there if I was waiting for it? And then another couple said, you’ve been Here a longtime, as we saw you go into the library! Oh well, at least it’s a nice day. And it’s actually sunny and “Warm” for once, as I waited and waited for the Stupid Blinkin’ Cab! And although it was pleasant out, i.e.; 55 degrees-F, it was still a bit nippy since it was our typical, Breezy coast weather. And as the Comedian Ron “Tater” white would say, the Winds were ah-Blowin!


Next as I sat on the bench with my White Cane prominently displayed, and “cool Daddy’Oh” Dark Shades On. (Sunglasses) A Man asked me if I could read? To which I struggled to keep from having a Bill Engvall moment and say YES! I just use the White Cane to Point at the letters individually… Uhm, “Here’s Your Sign!” Yet instead just answered No. Can you read Braille? No. Neither can I, I can’t read at All. With my Brain Screaming then Why are You at the library?


As He proceeded to tell me He couldn’t read books, but was an Honours Student in the Air Force where they just used Multiple Choice questions… As I did really good on Jet Aricraft Engines. Hmm, I think may be He’s “Toying” with me?


Then He told me that this was just their “Potty Stop” before it was time to go pet the Cat at the Humane society, before He said Have a good day Sir. Arse-sumedly  walking off with His Dog. For which I Hoped wasn’t being Done anywhere near the Bench!


So 11:45AM went by. And then it was 12:02PM according to my Talking Keychain Clock. Saying I’d give these Jokers until 12:15PM before calling, since they’re really running late! Then 12:08 and at 12:12PM as I said bemusedly “Three Minutes ‘til wopner!” A woman who sounded like She was using a cane? Told me that the “bus” would be here in moments. Telling Her I was waiting for a Cab and going to call them at a Quarter after. She replied it’s 12:15 now!


Being Blind, Have I mentioned that lately? I’ve just gone ahead and signed up for our City’s Ride Source service, whose Office is located in Eugene, 60 miles East of us! Who I’d called and scheduled my planned two Taxi rides thru the day before.


Explaining How I was supposed to have been picked up One Hour ago, OOPS! I’m very sorry about that Sir. One moment please. Ok, they’ll be there in 5-10mins. As they thought you were going to Call them for a return Pickup…


About 10mins later, as I sat on the bench replete with my Don Johnson “Miami vice” Five Oh-Clock’ Shadow. I heard somebody say Mam, are you waiting for a Cab? Yes! And I thought I was the Blind One? Oh, it’s You, as it was the same driver who’d taken me to the library. Just follow my voice. You did something with your Hair. No, it’s just windy!


After I’d gotten in the Cab and was starting to tell Him my Address the radio crackled with the Dispatcher saying Did you Find Him Larry? Copy! Before Larry’ told me that the official excuse was that the Dispatcher had said that I would Call them (Ride Source) for my return trip, even though I’d specifically scheduled two separate rides for that morning. But now that it was somewhere North of 12:35PM, I said I just wanted to go Home instead of going to my second appointment…


Parked in my Driveway and collecting my Reduced Fare. Larry said You’re Now Free to move about the Country! And You know How to get to your Doorway. Which I’m guessing is some sort of “tough Love?” But I was just Happy to be back on Familiar Ground and Skidattled my way inside my Bungalow by the Sea!


As Sing It ‘Ol bongo Head! “As we relive our lives in what we tell you…”