Yep! It's that time of the year once again to honour the Disco Queen of 'RASSCAR! Although I think She’s already got a Valentine's suitor this year. As I've been told by a ‘lil Tweety-bird’ that She’s quite Smitten with some Dude named Carter Comstock. And that Danica’s Definitely lost both former Beaus’ Aaron Rodgers and Good 'Ol Ricky-boy's phone numbers!
Nevertheless, here we go, And Ah One and Ah Two!
Dancing very slow
And they're stepping lightly
Hanging on her every move each night in Rapture
Back to back
And a wild attack
Face to face
And it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping
“Flavour Flav HMS Monogram told me everybody's high
DJ's spinning' are saving' my mind
Flash is Fast, Flash is cool
Jacke Vanilla sez fast, Flashe' no do
And you try to stop
(Watching’ MAC Montoya, Sam Hornish & ALL those Open Wheel DEFECTORS!)
Just go out to the parking lot
Get in your car and you drive real far
Away from the track!
After you drive all night, you see a bright flashing light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out pops a Girl in a shiny sequin bathing suit from RASSCAR!
And She shoots you dead and “She eats your head
And then you're in the Girl from RASSCAR!
You go out at night, eatin' Racecars
Then, when there's no more Racecars left
You go out at night and eat up Open Wheel Racing series instead
Like Champ Car and the IRL
While ‘Ol timers desperately cling to fantasies of a renaissance…
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
Dance toe to toe
Don't move to slow, 'cause the Girl from RASSCAR is cutting thru
(Excuse me HULIO!)
But Mrs. Hospenthal is through with the competition
a ton ‘O snicker bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
She's gonna eat 'em all
Take a tour; through the sewer
Don't strain your brain
Just check out that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue instead!
And then say it real fast
Boog-itee- Boog-itee- Boog-itee!
Paint a train, cause you’ll be singing' in the rain
If dare ain’t some ‘Tin Tops on
I say stop throwin those mountain dew cans at Pretty Boy Floyd
Just be good ‘ol boyzs and cheer
for ‘dannaCar instead!
Well now you see what you want to be
Just like Mike, who’s trying to
pump up ‘Dem Spin-Car ratings on TV
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR won't eat Candy bars when She’s PEAK-ing
In the bright lights…
As now She's gone back up to MARS Where She won't have a hassle with the human race ‘cause now its ‘DannaLand!
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR stopped eatin' Racecars
And now She only devours IndyCar
get up, ‘Cause She’s gone HOLLYWOOD!
(Original lyrics: Blondie, Rapture)
Originally written by Tomaso on Feb 15, 2008
(Last Modified: February 10, 2022)