Friday, October 4, 2019

F1: Ferrari Horses round Under Singapore lights

As what's that 'Ol Sayin' my late Awntie Harriet would Say? Oh Yeah Somme-thun' about The east end of A Horse going West!

Ah, where to begin Kiddoes? As I could mention the sheer insanity of being Blind 'N Sitting in the Dark for the evening's Encore Presentation of a Night race on the City Streets 'O Singapore, which I wryly mused to Thyself is akin to a Triple Negative, El Correctomundo?

Or the part about Damn, that Monegasque Guy sure gets extremely Hot underneath His Balaclava! Making me think of a French Dude with the last name of Grosjean; Aye Karumba!

As I Don't wanna say that the Singapore Grand Prix was a Boring race, albeit mostly processional. Yet instead being a very tactical race of Chess, and who'd Blink First?

Yet this coupled with the TV Pundits focusing upon irrelevant scrums over Positions 14-15-16, and Not being able to S-E-E a Gory Damn thing Occurring On-track, I found my mind Ah-wanderin' per Tipicali.

Thus I took extra notice to the few tidbits Messer Kroftie' threw out during the Sky Sports regurgitated ESPN2 Broadcast, which I knew wasn't gonna be Purdy', especially since we began with le Duesh' chopping off the first 5+ minutes fluff, including the Parade lap. As it was simply Lights Out when the Show began.

Huh? How did Danny Ric', nee Daniel Ricciardo end-up starting P20? Since I know he Qualified P8 on Saturday...

OH SHIT! Here comes Duh Mothers shoe Polish lady... As we'll return One lap from where we left Off when we "Immediately" resume, Righto Sister?

According to David Kroft, Thars Nothin' Wrong with your TV, that is an Alfa Romeo leading a Grand Prix. As it was Kimi Thee Iceman' Raikkonen's Under-study Antonio Giovinazzi leading his first Grand Prix  ever. Being the first time since the 1983 Belgian Grand Prix at Spa Francorchamps for an Alfa Romeo to lead a Grands Prix; CRIKEYS!

With The Professor' Alain Prost giving Renault a 1-3 finish, with his Junior birdman Eddie "The Mouth!" Cheever third, and Ferrari's Patrick Tambay sandwiched between the two Reggies'

Even more Amazing was the tidbit thrown-out proclaiming it was the First time since Silverstone 2015 when Team Willy' (Williams F1) led the race. Becoming the First time in 4+ years that anybody besides the Top-3, i.e.; Mercedes, Ferrari & Red Bull have led a Grands Prix; SHEISA!

Along with Kroftie' belabouring the factoid  that 'lil Syd Viddle, aka Sebastian Vettel hadn't won a Grands Prix in 392 Days, since Spa 2018!

Sebastian, Leclerc's Faster than You!

And although it was the first time Ferrari's won 3 Races in-a-row since 2008 as the Stats piled-on. Obviously Monsieur "chuck LuhCluck," nee Charles Leclerc, who'd done everything he'd been instructed to by la Scuderia. The 21yr old Monegasque had ample rights to be overly Peeved with how Ferrari had shuffled him to P2 behind Vettel!

For which I swear it was Ferrari Team Boss Mattia Binotto Apologizing in Italian to Leclerc on the Cool-down lap, as the TV Broadcast was rightly having a field Day playing In-Car radio messages...

And whilst I totally believe Leclerc got 100% Hosed! I really couldn't argue with good 'Ol Martin Billybob' Brundle's ARSE-Sessment' of curtly pointing out they (Ferrari) got a 1-2 (finish( instead of a 1-3 due to strategy...

And how come nobody's talking about Valtteri Bottas once again getting told to be the Dutiful Wingman? First being instructed to go Slow in hopes of holding up the grid so Golden Child could possibly catch back up to his rivals. And then further being instructed to Hold Station behind Hamilton to races end.

As once again it Hit Me like A Two Ton Heavy Thing! Feeling somewhat Disillusioned over Formula  1's Machiavellian Team Orders state, making the word Corporatocracy spring to Thy Lips for the very first time regarding thou sport of F1!

As I've had to remind a few Friends that it's the Constructors Championship that only interests the Formula 1 Teams due to its massive Payout scheme of multi-millions each season, and the Drivers championship DON'T Pay Anything!

And Team Orders are nothing new, as Austria-Gate, (2002) Felipe, Fernando is Faster than You and Bloody Hell! Vettel's infamous Multi-21 Affair immediately spring to mind!

Instead I think that it's Team Orders are more Blatant; Err they're just way more transparent nowadays, and I've got to begrudgingly admit, Drivers are just the means to the Teams Financial success.

Which makes it somewhat Harder to Swallow, since I've always had passion for Open Wheel Racing hinge upon individual Drivers accomplishments and not the team's. Even though I'm fully cognizant it's a Team sport, that still Doesn't mean I like seeing a Driver get Screwed for the Team's Benefit!

As what will Vettel's legacy be? Since according to Reuters he's being paid the exorbitant sum of AU $36m per season. Or is that $36 million Dollars? Pounds or Euros? While Ferrari's gonna give Leclerc a  raise to $9m next year vs. his current paltry $3m salary?

Since it appears Vettel's  currently making four times as much as Leclerc, and Ferrari's surely wondering what they're getting for Vettel's services? I'm left ponderin' is Messer Binotto simply trying to Balance his Charges, instill confidence in Sebastian, or simply trying to establish clear Team Orders regardless of who's the better Driver?

Or is it really as simple as getting better Overall results for the coveted Constructirs Cup? And who knows what we'll be talkin' about after Sochi? Where Hopefully Leclerc will be victorious!