RETRO: Nissan pays Homage to Safari Winner

1970 Datsun 240Z Replica Rally Car. (Image source: zcarblog.com)

 

Although not sure how far the new 2023 Nissan Z-Car would last on the torturous Dakar…

 

Following the Formula 1 Drivers World Championship being “done ‘n dusted,. which I “watched” live in it’s entirety. Finding it fairly anti-climatic upon it being obvious that Lando Norris would prevail as the F1 Drivers World Champion elect, Sigh…

 

As a calmness permeated over me, I decided to “see” what Motor Trend TV was airing that afternoon? Who were running a marathon block ‘O Custom Carolina, a Car show I’d never heard of before. Which I have to say sounded a lot like Iron Resurection to Mwah…

 

The show was based around Tommy Pike customs, a renown South Carolina automobile customization company, housed in a 30,000 square foot facility. With a total of 12 episodes being made for it’s lone 2023 season.

 

The episode that “Peaked” my Attenzione was the building of a Safari tribute seventh generation Nissan Z-Car for the 2023 SEMA show in Las Vegas.

 

Although in the typical reality TV genre, they only had less than half the normal 9-12 months build time, i.e.; five months to finish the transformation. Which I’d say wasn’t a true Rally Raid conversion.

 

I say this, since the engine seemed largely untouched, with the exception of the addition of a new intercooler, heat exchanger, air filter and some composite trim piece. Turning out to be a carbon fibre engine cover. Along with a larger stainless steel exhaust system.

 

The main change was the addition of a two inch lift kit, including custom “One-off” coil over “Dampers” built specifically by Nissan. Along with a custom aluminum skid plate created to protect the vital radiator, oil pan and other important motive parts of the car’s “snout”. Which may also function as a new front bumper “Brush” guard.

 

The lift kit enabled smaller diameter 17-inch wheel rims to sport “taller” off-road rubber. Necessitating new braking components, i.e.; discs, rotors, etc.

 

The interior had a custom harness bar installed, connecting four-point seat harnesses. Along with the requisite rollbar.

 

The Recaro seats were perforated, a la the 1971 Datsun 240Z Rally Car Nissan was paying tribute to. Along with various old school navigator stop watches/clocks/timing gear, navigator’s tray, etc.

 

As Tommy (Pike) at one point of the episode flies to Atlanta, to check out noted Car Collector Randy Jaffe’s replica 1970 Datsun 240Z tribute Rally Car.

 

Being Blind, have I mentioned that lately Y’all? Obviously I couldn’t see if the custom made tyre rack sat inside or outside the rear hatch? Since they talked about having to modify it to fit. But don’t know its location or how many spare tyres it carries?

 

Although later, I discerned that the original 1971 240Z Rally Car carried two spare tyres inside of the rear hatch, so Arse-sumedly the Nissan Z-Car mimicked this…

 

Nissan Safari Rally Z Tribute Car

 

Rotating spotlights were affixed to the top of the new Z-Car’s “A” pillar, which I’m pretty sure is the pillar supporting the font windshield. While further homage to the 240Z Rally car was paid with several fog lights being mounted on the front hood. All the while with the repeated mentioning of sending custom parts off for powder coating.

 

Whilst I’ve got zero clue what the graphics package looked like? Other than supposedly sporting the No. 23, being in reference to the new Nissan Z-Car’s debut, Righto?

 

As mentioned, this new Safari tribute Nissan Z-Car was built to honour Nissan’s motor racing heritage, specifically it’s 19th East Africa Safari Datsun 240Z winner. With Edgar Herrman and Navigator Hans Schuller winning the grueling 3,800-plus miles event in 1971. Being Nissan’s second, consecutive East Africa Rally win. With the three 240Z’s entered finishing 1-2-7.

 

1971 Datsun 240Z Rally legend

 

Having further learned that Herrman, who’s of no known relation to Hans Herrman, had also won the 1970 East Africa Safari Rally behind the wheel of a Datsun 1600SSS. Reportedly a modernized version of the well known Datsun 510. Which John Morton drove those BRE Datsun 510’s (Brock Racing Enterprises) to great success in the Trans Am 2.5-litre category.

 

Growing up, for years, and its probably still here in a box somewhere? I had a large, glossy tri-fold paper catalog of Tamiya plastic model kits. Which I totally recall having this very same 1971 Datsun 240Z on it’s front page, which I think was in large, 1:12 scale? Although back then, I wasn’t interested in Rally Cars…

 

Yet I have to say that my favourite vintage Rally Car is the Lancia Stratos, for which Yuhs guessed it! I’ve got a 1:18 Kyosho diecast sitting in a box here in Tomaso Manor. While I’m also partial to the Ford Escort Rally Car…

 

Meanwhile, back on Halloween, 2023. Randy’s (Jaffe) 1970 vintage 240Z Rally Car was on loan to Nissan and sitting side-by-side with the new 2023 Nissan Z Safari tribute car. Which would have been pretty Cool, DaddiO’ to see!

 

Randy Jaffe’s 1970 240Z Safari Tribue Car

 

Naturally, all of this Rally talk made me wonder about this year’s touted DAKAR, once again taking place in Saudi Arabia between January 3-17. Meaning we’re on Stage-6 Me Thinks? Since Saturday’s first stage was the Prologue, before the 13 race stages commenced in anger.

 

As reigning “Cars” winner El Matador’, aka Carlos Sain is defending His title now driving one of M-Sport’s Brawny Fort Raptor T1 PickemUp’ trucks. Although I’ve got zero clue how Carlos or any of the other competitors are doing… 

MOTO GP: The Year of Marc Marquez

Although He didn’t survive the season unscathed…

 

The 2025 MotoGP season was largely ruled by Ye Pinball Wizard, aka Marc Marquez. Although you’d have to say it was split into two parts, i.e.; Pre-Japanese Grand Prix, and Post Japanese Grand Prix. As Motegi brought the inevitable High’s and Low’s to the current and former MotoGP World Champions.

 

This year’s dominant force was Marc Marquez. As the 32 year old Spaniard totally crushed the competition on His Factory Ducati. Winning an impressive total of 11 Grands Prix races. Along with six Sprint race wins and eight poles.

 

As Marquez made His intentions known early, storming out of the gate. Scoring two straight “Clean” sweep weekends in Thailand and Argentina, i.e.; claiming pole and winning both Sprint and Grand Prix races. Before coming up short at the Circuit Of The Americas, (COTA) crashing out of Sunday’s U.S. Grand Prix; round 3 of 22. After claiming pole and winning the Sprint race in Austin.

 

Marquez stamped His authority upon this year’s title by reeling off seven straight Grands Prix wins. From Motorland Aragon in Spain, to the Balaton Park Circuit in Hungary. (Rounds 8-14) Spanning from June 8th to August 24^th

 

Marquez’s points lead was so commanding that He clinched the title when finishing runner-up at Motegi, behind His shrinking violet Ducati teammate Francesco Bagnaia, with five races remaining.

 

As Bagnaia finished fifth overall, 257 points adrift of Marquez. (545-288) With Marc’s younger brother Alex Marquez, Marco Bezzechi and Pedro Costa sandwiched in-between Him standings wise.

 

Whilst Marc Marquez’s championship triumph was short lived. As the Spainard was involved in a crash with Marco Bezzecchi at Indonesia a week later, suffering a broken right collarbone, the same side as His famous arm injuries. With Doctors discovering during surgery that He’d twisted some titanium screws in the arm! As Ye Pinball Wizard eventually sat out the rest of the season recovering…

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum was reigning MotoGP Champion Jorge Martin, whose debutante season for Aprilia can only be described as a Nightmare! Beginning by crashing only an hour into Pre-season testing at Sepang! Breaking His right Hand and fracturing His left Foot, Yikes!

 

Then on the Monday preceding the season opening round in Thailand, Jorge crashed again. This time breaking His left Hand, forced to sit out the first three round, before making His Aprilia debut at Qatar.

 

Yet this debut seemed rushed, as thee Martinator’ definitely wasn’t 100% physically recovered, and disaster struck again! As Jorge lost control of His Scooter’ with Fabio di Giantonnio having nowhere to go, striking Martin. With Jorge suffering eleven broken ribs and a collapsed lung!

 

Martin did little to endear Himself to the team, announcing He planned to leave early, foregoing the second year of His contract due to lack of performance, before ultimately rescinding this  claim during His Qatar injury recovery.

 

Martin returned to action at the Czech Grand Prix on July 20th, (Round 12) before suffering His latest setback. Having collided with Aprilia teammate Marco Bezzecchi at Turn-1 of the Sprint race’s start atMotegi, suffering a broken collarbone.

 

Martin made His seventh Grands Prix weekend start at the season finale in Valencia. Where He served a double long-lap penalty for causing the Motegi collision with Bezzecchi. Before retiring at halfway distance due to lack of physical stamina.

 

Meanwhile, Bezzecchi’s year aboard Aprilia has gone the polar opposite’s of Martin’s. With the Italian celebrating His 27th birthday at Velencia claiming His third MotoGP victory of the season. Having won seven days prior at Portimoa, along with His earlier win at Silverstone.

 

Bezzecchi secured third in the final points standings, and presumably leaves Martin looking over His shoulder, as the Italian becomes Aprilia’s top hope? Whilst Raul Fernandez would likely be “Next Man Up” at Aprilia, since Honda supposedly hasn’t completely closed the door on Martin joining in 2027.

 

Trackhouse Racing’s (Raul) Fernandez scored His maiden MotoGP win Down Under at Phillip  Island (Australia) enroute to finishing 10th overall. While rookie teammate Ai Ogura impressed early season, before ultimately finishing P16 overall.

 

The only other rider with multiple wins were Peco’ Bagnaia winning twice, i.e.; Austin and Motegi. While Alex Marquez finished runner-up overall to brother Marc on the back of three wins aboard the satellite Gresini Duc’. Taking wins at Jerez, Barcelona and Sepang.

 

Alex’s teammate, rookie Fermin Aldeguer won convincingly in Indonesia. With Johann Zarco taking a solitary win at Home on the Le Mans circuit aboard His Castrol LCR Honda in wet weather conditions…

 

Thus three riders scored their debutante MotoGP victories this year, i.e.; Alex Marquez, Raul Fernandez and Fermin Aldeguer.

 

As that’s only the Grands Prix Sunday races, since I’m sure others won some of the Sprint races. Yet as always, Ducati claimed the Lion’s share, with a total of 17 Grands Prix W’s. Followed by four wins from Aprilia and a single win for Honda. Which presumably will continue next year, before the next major regulation change in 2027.

 

As Marc Marquez becomes tied with thee Doctor, aka Valentino Rossi and the great Giacomo Agostini win seven World Championships apiece in the premiere GP500/MotoGP category. And you’d have to say odds favour Marquez winning His eighth title next year… 

A Milestone and ever revolving Racing Movie Choices

A much younger Tomaso supporting TAG’, nee Indy 500 polesitter Alex Tagliani at IMS fountain race day. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Once again, being Everything One wishes to read about, Righto?

 

Yeah, I’m tootin’ my own horn here upon thoust mystical Isle ‘O Nofendersville. Uhm where are Yuhs ‘lil Toot-Toot!

 

Making it under Ye Foghorn, when that Foghorn Blows, sing it Van Morrison…

 

VIDEO: Into the Mystic

 

As where’s ‘Ol Jeffie’ of One Lap Down to tell me to stay focused Man, Outside, Still Outside…

 

Late last year. No Fender posted it’s Gory 5,000 blog story on Monday, December 22^nd. With that Oh, so delectable Happy Holley Four Barrel Holidayzes tiding, Aye Karumba!

 

As I could have “padded” this tally by posting about the tragic death of thee Biffster’, nee Greg Biffle, His family and three others, but will save for a later day…

 

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d post 5,000 “riveting” blog stories, or still be going strong some 19-plus years later, Crikesy! Although I cannot imagine reaching 10,000 posts in another 20 years…

 

This all crystalized for Mwah when thinking about how my Top 10 racing movie choices have expanded and evolved over the past two decades. Since it all began with my elongated Grand Prix review Wayback’ over Christmas, or was it New Years eve, in Gory 2006. When No Fenders was still in “Nappies”, just some three-plus months old, Youza !

 

At that point in time, I only knew of four racing films, albeit two were definitely Clunkers! Leaving me with just Grand Prix and Le Mans. Before learning of three more thanks to the late Robin Miller, i.e.; Winning, The Big Wheel and To Please a Lady.

 

Yet with the arrival of Rush, now just over a dozen years ago; Uhm, a baker’s dozen. Naturally the debate over best racing films resurfaced.

 

RUSH: The Best Racing Movie of All Time?

 

Or Y’all can directly pass Go, without collecting your $200. And read Wee Willie Buxom’s Top 10 review below…

 

The Top 10 Racing Films… Ever

 

Hence, my racing movie choices expanded following Rush, becoming a true Top 10 finally, excluding Clunkers and Alternate choices.

 

Yet following the arrival of Ford v Ferrari in 2019, once again my list evolved, with a new Top 10 list written in 2020. Yet never making it onto thoust Hallowed pages of No Fenders. As Y’all know the drill here Mateys…

 

Thus, with the arrival of F1: The Movie last July, naturally this subject once again became all the rage. For which I finally hammered out and posted my current Top 10 list just days ago. Which didn’t include what have become outcasts or alternates. Whilst the Clunkers really shouldn’t surprise Yuhs.

 

Alternates

While I never saw The 2019 Art of Racing in the Rain movie. A “Pet” project of Dr. McDreamy, aka Patrick Dempsey, with Kevin Costner as Enzo’s voice. I did read the delightful 2008 book about Enzo the dog and His master’s Denny’s travails as a racing driver written by Garth Stein over a decade ago.

 

The Art of Racing in the Rain in More ways than One can  Conjure

 

Whilst you already know about the others noted above: Paul Newman’s Winning. Mickey Rooney’s The Big Wheel and Clark Gable’s To Please a Lady…

 

Clunkers

Shouldn’t even need to tell you or scribble what the worst racing film ever is! Like can Y’all say Joe Tanto? With Sly Stallone’s Driven undoubtably standing atop the podium!

 

Vice Champion, runner-up or second place belongs to Tom Cruise’s Dazes ‘O Blunder. (Days of Thunder( With Burt Reynolds Stroker Ace being third.

 

Hey, anyone wearing a Chicken suit in a racing film with Gomer Pyle sayin’ gollee is a lock for the podium…

 

Others

Naturally, everyone and their Dog, even Enzo has a Top 10 racing movies list. Having learned about Speed Racer, the film and the unknown of The Pit Stop when perusing Autoweek and Esquire’s Top 10 selections following the release of F1: The Movie.

 

Which if you’re curious? I’ll let your fingers do the walking and search the All knowing Intrawoods’ for others choices… 

Belated Top 10 Racing Movie choices

Soon once again, it’ll be time to release the Balloons! And All will be right in the Motorsports world. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

“Its really wonderful that APEX are giving second chances to the Elderly!”

 

As what better way to ring in thoust New Year then with some Zany leftovers, Eh? Since this topic came bubbling back up upon Ye Radar when “watching”, Err listening to Bloody Jense and Theodore, Not Lenny Kravitz’s Grid Walk at last year’s Las Vegas Grand Prix.

 

Where one British Fan on Social Media dryly noted it looked like Jenson (Button( and Ted were interviewing the tarmac! Before Ted asked Jenson if He wanted to talk to a real, live Formula 1 driver? Spotting JP’, aka Joshua Pierce on the Grid…

 

Reminding Mwah, I hadn’t lamented Y’all with my latest round of Top 10 Racing Movie choices, which I’ve been “sitting’ on awhile now…

 

No. 10 The Quick and The Dead

Release: 1978

This documentary film was originally released as One by One in 1975. The subsequently “repackaged as The Quick and The Dead in ’78.

 

The film is narrated by “Mike Hammer”, aka Stacey Keech and includes Jackie Stewart, Niki Lauda, Mike Hailwood, James Hunt, Francois Cevert and Peter Revson. Portraying the gruesome “deadliness” of Grand Prix racing from this much dangerous era.

 

All I recall from the film is the late Peter Revson wearing wrap around mirror sunglasses, being quite sure of Himself and brutally Frank. Obviously before His death during testing at Kyalami in 1974.

 

No. 9 Talladega Nights: The Story of Ricky bobby

Release: 2006

What more can I say than “slingshot On!” As this is a great comedic film about Roundy round racing, in which Will Ferrell as Ricky bobby is great. Whilst the “villain” Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen) is wonderful too! And everybody knows about Talladega Nights…

 

No. 8 The World’s Fastest Indian

Release: 2005

Enjoyed this film that starred the great Anthony Hopkins, portraying Burt Munro. Known for having the fastest motorcycle in New Zealand and Australia in 1967.

 

Burt has a long standing dream of testing His Scooter’ on the Bonneville Salt Flats. And after many trials and tribulations. He eventually sets a new land speed record of 201.851mph! Which this 1967 record for Streamliner’s under 1,000cc still stands today.

 

No. 7 F1: The Movie

Release: 2025

Yeah, we all know about 40-something sonny Hayes making His F1 comeback with the APEX racing team, and the intra-squad scrum with His protégé Joshua Pierce. Along with the requisite “Fling” with the team’s Technical Director Kate McKenna…

 

As the film checked All the boxes for Apple with it’s first Big Screen Hit. And was popular with the non-racing crowds who saw it at theatre’s. Blending real racing action into the Hollywood movie, including all 20 Formula 1 drivers from the 2023 F1 season.

 

As the horrific Martin Donnelly 1990 Jerez crash footage still sent a chill into me some 35 years later! And Hayes parting line about “It’s not About the Money” can only make one laugh…

 

No. 6 Grand Prix

Release: 1966

This is the film that got this whole “Bailiwick” rolling! Since Grand Prix is an epic racing film directed by the legendous’ John Frankenheimer. Starring then MGM’s “golden Boy” James Gardner.

 

The racing footage is great, using real racing cars, with Gardner doing His own driving. With the film ruminating the “Highs and Lows” of motor racing, including the inherit risks of racing Open Wheel Racing cars during the 1960’s…

 

As I’d say this movie set the bar for all racing films that followed. And I won’t try re-inventing the wheel. Having scribbled’ about it Wayback’ in Gory 2006, Zoinks!

 

Grand Prix (The Movie)

 

No. 5 Le Mans

Release: 1971

Interestingly, the making of Grand Prix was pitted against Steve McQueen and John Surges intended racing film initially titled Day of the Champion, also intended to chronicle the life of racing. Yet the latter duo’s film ran into a variety of problems before being released as Le Mans in 1971.

 

Think everyone knows about this legendous’ film already, which for decades was my Numero Uno racing film. Due to it’s use of real racing cars at Circuit de la Sarthe. Most notably the iconic Gulf Porsche 917. Which I like many, had a Le Mans poster as a Wee lad’. Since I’d argue that Le Mans is still the racing film All others are judged against…

 

No. 4 Ford v Ferrari

Release: 2019

Although not as factually correct as Le Mans. Nonetheless, this film vaulted ahead of Le Mans after I “saw” it on the Big Screen. As Matt Damon plays a great Carroll Shelby. While the star of the film for Mwah was Christian Vale as Ken Miles, who I thought should have won an Oscar for Best Actor.

 

As the film is about Ford’s quest to defeat and dethrone Ferrari at Le Mans, which I scribbled about after “seeing” the movie.

 

Some Thoughts upon the Ford v Ferrari Movie

 

No. 3 Rush

Release: 2013

Having seen this excellent racing movie on the Big Screen, and knowing the backstory. Along with Ron Howard’s “Attention to Detail”. Plus the great psychological battle between the two Formula 1 title protagonists, Rush quickly vaulted ahead of my past top choices. For which like All major racing movies, the typical debate of where it ranked became a major “Talking Point”.

 

RUSH: An F1 Aficionado's Different View

 

No. 2 Ferrari

Release: 2024

What truly grabbed my attenzione over this film was it’s Brutishness and the Brutal reality of racing cars during the 1950’s. Along with excellently portraying Il Commendatore, nee Enzo Ferrari as a real piece of work! And how racing drivers are just expendable Pilotes’ for His exotic racecars…

 

Obviously, I’ve got zero clue if the film’s portrayal of the individual drivers writing letter’s to their significant other’s before going to battle was true. But that image plus the dialogue in my Descriptive Narration Headset describing the horrific scene following Alfonso de Portago’s death during the final stages of the 1957 Mille Miglia sent chills down my spine!

 

De Portago Who? Lost Formula 1 Bobsledder

 

No. 1 Senna

Release: 2011

What’s that famous ‘ol saying of Ayrton’s, Eh?

 

“If you see a gap and do not go for it, you’re no longer a racing driver!”

 

Even though Niki “The Rat” Lauda derides this film for being a documentary, and not a film, which is true. Nevertheless, it quickly became my latest Numero Uno choice! As the real, un-doctored footage is amazing, even if I couldn’t read the subtitles. I knew most of the backstory, i.e.; Senna’s rise thru the ranks of His Formula 1 career, from 1984 to that tragic day at Imola in 1994.

 

As there was no one larger than life than Ayrton Senna was, faults and all. For which the passion of the Brazilian Fans is all you need to see and hear to appreciate this movie!

 

SENNA: A Truly Great Movie! 

No Fenders Boxing Day Holidazes Tradition continues

A not so subtle Barrage Balloon being deployed on the Eastern Front. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Apparently Ye Red Baron Done Shot Up this No Fenders Post, ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack!

 

“Everybody Knows A Turkey and some Missletoe

Helps to Keep the Season Bright!”

 

Although neither Snoopy or thou Red Baron will be taking Off today. Since it feels Nippy enough for another very rare arrival of Snow here in Bumfiddle’ Florence, which is a rarity due to our proximity to Sea level Ho Ho Ho!

 

As little did I, or cadres ‘O it’s loyal listeners then knew. That the day after Veterans Day 2022, would be the final time that  Cool FM, Eugene’s 99.1FM Radio Station. Which None of us can pick up anymore on Ye Oregon Coast via Florence’s Transmitter. When it’s Not Foggy, Raining, Hailing out and you’re holding your Elboz’ just right, Oh Never Mind!

 

Would Began Thar final, yearly, multi-weeks Holiday Programming of playing Nonstop round Ye clock 24/7 Nothing but Ack Ack Ack Christmas Songs Barrage goes thru New Years.

 

At first I couldn’t figure out why they went off the Air for weeks in February? Before one day they returned to the Airwaves as The Beat! Playing Hideous 1990-2000’s Teeny-bopper’ Rap ‘n Hip Hop music, WTF! A far cry from what I enjoyed listening to on their radio station for nearly five years! Since Ain’t Thar something about five Golden Rings?

 

As this is a really crappy way of telling me I’m a Dinosaur, and my Age Demographic Don’t matter to Yuhs G-Damn Advertisers! Although News Flash, I refuse to listen to your new format Bastardoes!

 

I actually enjoyed this yearly tradition, since it was the only time ‘O year Yuhs could Hear such Classics as John Lennon’s so this is Christmas, which is definitely my Numero Uno X-Mas Song!

 

Along with The Beach Boys ‘lil Saint Nick “run-run Reindeer” song. Or I want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Alvin and The Chipmunks, chuck Berry’s Run-Run Rudolf, You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch along with other various Classics like Bing Crosby and David Bowies Peace On Earth-Little Drummer Boy Duet et Al.

 

Not to mention I would always hear some Vintage Christmas song I hadn’t heard before. As one year I spent several weeks trying to figure out that it was The Carpenters singing Sleigh ride from their 1978 Album Christmas Portrait, but I digress…

 

VIDEO: Sleigh Ride

 

Whilst I most definitely got a Smile on my face when hearing for the very first time ever during the winter of 2021, The Ballad of Snoopy’s Yuletide Dogfight!

 

VIDEO: Father Christmas: Snoopy’s Christmas vs. the Red Baron

 

As the song is by The Royal Guardsmen, a Florida Rock Band who later became known as the “Snoopy Band!” As their Snoopy Christmas song was recorded in 1966. With the song reaching No. 2 on the billboard Hot 100 and was certified Gold in early ’67.

 

Funniest bit ‘O trivia is the Band recorded the song without Charles Schulz’s initial permission. So their record label Up North Eh! In Ye Great White North of Oh Kanaduh’ refused to release it due to potential legal issues Stateside with Messer Schulz.

 

So the Band put out a very blatant re-issue called Squeaky ant The Black Knight Up North Eh! Which also became popular in Ye Frozen Tundra before Schulz gave his permission for the song.

 

Hence, naturally I got a Wild Hair to “See” if I could find said Squeaky and The Black Knight Great White North “Import” version, for which I was super Surprised that it came up almost immediately, Ja Volt!

 

VIDEO: Snoopy vs. the Black Knight

 

And although Snoopy, Woodstock and Ye Red Baron All lived to Fight Another Gory Day, Ho Ho Ho! Unfortunately that Damn Baron Von Richthofen done Destroyed a perfectly good working radio station, meaning Thar won’t be no round thee clock Christmas music to listen to this year upon thoust Mystical Isle of NoFendersville…

 

Since after All, It used to be  the “Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” SPEW! Now, does anybody know where I can buy a Turkey? Or how Much this Damn Bird Weighs? Ho Ho Ho…

 

Then last year, I heard for the first time ‘Ol BJ “Raindrops are Falling” Thomas! Play me my new favourite Sing-along song. Yuhs know about Somebody doin’ Somebody wrong…

 

VIDEO: Hey, won’t you Play another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song

 

Whilst just shy of three weeks before Christmas this year. On a Friday evening, Coast Radio played a song about a Reindeer in Overalls and sportin’ a John Deere Tractor Cap! Hearing Leroy the Redneck Reindeer for my very frist time ever, which definitely cracked me up and brought a smile to my face…

 

VIDEO: Leroy the Redneck Reindeer

 

Happy boxing Day, Yall!

 

Image C/O No Fenders Offical’ Photographer CARPETS’ – Somewhere’ on the Wabash… 

Merry Kringle, Y’all!

‘Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.

Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.

The garages were swept and tidied with care,
In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there.

The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention HULIO dreaming of what might have been, if only he hadn't crashed over that 'Yump in Houston)

 

And “Princess” in her negligee, (Or was that her Cowboy Hat 'N swim suit?) Along with Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.

 

(Hey! I hear that Dan-Dan-Danickers' now available, right Aaron? Likes guess that’s Not the Only fumble You’ve Made? Although I hear Carter Comstock’s Dropped Danica too…)

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.

 

Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.

 

The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear but a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.

 

The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.
That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.

More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft rubber tyre’ Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;

 

Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!

On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!

 

To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.

Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!

 

As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor further behind!

 

So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.

 

The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.

And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot.

 
an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.

 

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.

His hair as always was perfect, (by Loreal…)

 

his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat.

 

The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled Schuey's head like a wreath.

He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf.

 

Thus Paul could only laugh when he appeared

 

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave TRACY nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new three year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…

 

Before Messer Chrome Horn could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

 

He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘Ol PT heard Schumacher exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight,

"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."

 

Merry Kringle Y'all!

Tomaso

 

(Originally written by Tomaso – December, 2007; last modified on 12/2/23) 

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all!

Groan, he's at it again. In what’s now become a yearly tradition here on No Fenders. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry  from a much overused theme, Hya!

 

As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetua, R-R-R' Mateys!

 

Although it's another somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart, Gil de Feran, or sadly Mad Molly and Pixie the Wonderdog, Wuf-Wuf!

 

Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo like I Dunno, a ‘lil Ditty from Ye Muppets Me Thinks!

 

VIDEO: Andrea Bocelli and Friends Jingle Bells

 

As  Y’all can See ‘N Hear Claire’s unique Zest for life on one of her past videos. As Claire also went by the “Handle” Panda, and I can only “guess” HaHaHa where her inspiration for this funny video came from…

 

VIDEO: Panda the Frog and Animals

 

As may be it’s ye Eggnog? But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…

 

NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani. Or our two Newest Hosers Dalton Kellett or Sparky’, nee Devlin DeFrancesco, but I digress…

 

Nope instead, typically this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…

 

On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Growled loudly at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!

 

On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, ‘Ol Tomaso  crooned Gleefully…

 

12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee

 

Like Where’s My Thing Geddy? Hit it! And Ah-One and Ah-Two. Not to mention the unmistakable percussion of Ye Rhythm Professor…

 

VIDEO: Rush – Where’s My thing

 

Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!

 

As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!

 

VIDEO: Bob & Doug’s 12 Days of Christmas

 

And to All who continue reading thy No fenders Blog, A Huge shout Out and Thanks!

 

Along with Everybody who Assists me over thoust Gory Year, i.e.; Blogmeister Miguel, Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen, Snowbyrd’ MJ, No Fenders Offical’ Photographer Carpets’, Randal thy Moniker King, and last but certainly not least. Artiste Dave, for the Bitchin’ No Fenders logo! Along with whomever else I left Out…

 

As ‘Ol Lawrence Welk would say Ah One, and Ah Two and Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry Kringle! Since after all, It is the most wonderful, BARF! Oh put a Sock in It Andy Williams, Hya!

 

Or if Yuhs Don’t know the “real” story of Santa, then sit back and listen to Cheech ‘n Chong tell Y’all…

 

VIDEO: Santa Claus and His Old Lady

 

See Y'all early Nex Year, when “I Shall return” in earnest on Jan 5, 2026.

 

Arrivederci

Tomaso

 

Picture Credit:

Now that Chrysler’s Killed their Awesome Dodge V-8 Hellcat Charger and SRT “Redeye” Challengers, BOO! Hopefully Santa will still be able to find replacement parts from Mopar for His Bitchin’ Sled, Ho-Ho-Ho!

 

(Image source: caranddriver.com)