Wrapping up my somewhat elongated ramblings upon British Nobility, this story seemed perfectly suited to the mix - as I even surprised myself by actually knowing six of the ten names profiled in this entertaining yarn spun by the fine folks over at Richards F1. As how many of Formula 1 racing’s Aristocracy do you think you can name? BUUZZZZZZZZZ.... Put ‘Dem pencils down, times up! As one of these should be a dead give away, after all having raced under the name Prince Bira...
Friday, February 8, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Noblemen, Queens of Dance and Kings of their Own Destinies...
Perhaps it’s just Mwah; ‘Whale definitely Mwah since this enlightenment first struck me some three plus months ago... As usual, falling foul to that nebulous death star matter known here at NoFendersville as that all consuming black hole called the NoFenders Wormhole Vortex... Hey! Y’all didn’t think I was talking ‘bout the Mayan’s black hole did Yuhs? Hya! But I digress. (See, I’m doing it again, scribbling another elongated rant...)
Thus, last September, with the news of Professor Eric Sidney “Sid” Watkins death, I found his passing a ‘Wee bit symbiotic, or was it simply just thee ‘Karmic Whip once again smacking Mwah upside the head? As we all know that ‘Prof died at the age of 84 on Sept 12, 2012, but what struck me as ironic was the following sentence.
“Watkins had been suffering from cancer and reportedly passed away at the King Edward VII Hospital in London, surrounded by his family.”
NO! I’m not surprised about his family being gathered bedside, but notice the name of the hospital, as in King Edward VII... Just how many of Y’all know exactly who that is? As I myself was totally unawares of the past King’s background until magically happening to read about him in a great ‘lil book I was painstakingly reading thru at a snail’s pace titled: And they Went That-A-Way by Malcolm Forbes published in 1988 when I first began scribbling these thoughts.
Ah, but old Sod, your eyes are SHIT! As you’ve gone all uh-flutter over the WRONG King my poor boy... As in seven comes before eight!
As I’d marveled at the irony of how the Bloody ‘Brits had named a highly established hospital in the named of King Edward VIII; Y’all know thee Duke of Windsor
Thus you can somewhat understand my cynicism’s disappointment that it was the previous King Edward (VII) number seven who ruled from Jan, 1901 to May, 1910, albeit I suppose perhaps he was the most safe? As this momentary curiosity has caused me to lightly puruse the history of the British Monarchy for the first time ever!
As Forbes book is full of fascinating vignettes about the nobility’s bloody and controversial murders of King Edward VII’s predecessors - those named Edward and George...
King Edward II
Reign: July 7, 1307 - Jan 25, 1327
This young King, son of the first Edward, was unpopular from day one, as the 23yr old King apparently openly flaunted his zest for homosexuality by carrying on an affair with palace squire Piers Gaveston. Even stooping so far as to name his lover (Gaveston) Earl of Cornwall, which rankled the Lords so mightily that he instantly went into hiding before being captured and promptly beheaded a few years later!
Yet Edward also had two wife’s whom bore him five children, while the King’s short two decades reign was spent constantly at war before ultimately being savagely murdered at the age of 43; having been removed from the throne the year prior due to incompetence by his wife Isabella.
Queen Isabella, also known as the “SheWolf of France,” had grown tired of her husband ignoring her and hence plotted to have their son Edward III installed instead - reputedly under the control of Isabella and her boyfriend.
Reportedly the King who was kept prisoner for months in hopes of falling ill from horrendous dungeon conditions, was killed by having a red-hot poker rammed up his Arse; YIKES!
Hmm? Why does that make me think of the 23 year-old Indian woman just brutally raped and killed with a metal rod by seven men on a bus joyride in Mumbai...
King Edward V
Reign: April 9 - June 26, 1483
The boy-king who would never be crowned King, the son of King Edward IV was thrust into power upon the unexpected death of his father at the age of 42. Yet having always resided outside of London , the twelve year old prince would need to ride four days to London
Yet along the way, Edward’s uncle Richard, had members of the entourage arrested and personally escorted the would-be king the rest of the way, where the boy was promptly placed inside the Tower of London, while his coronation date simply kept being postponed.
In a power struggle over the throne, Edward’s mother Queen Elizabeth lost out to Richard, whom quickly was anointed King Richard III, while Edward V and his three-years younger brother, also named Richard, who Elizabeth had sent to the Tower to give Edward company, simply vanished from sight and were never seen again - most believing the boys were smothered to death by pillows, although apparently the exact date remains a mystery.
In 1674, as workers were repairing some stairs at the tower, they unexpectedly found a wooden chest with the sets of two young boys bones inside it, which were promptly believed to belong to the missing boys and subsequently were entombed at Westminster Abbey, whilst Richard III, who’s remains have possibly just been discovered - was killed in battle by King Henry VII, who’s wife just so happened to be the former Queen Elizabeth...
King George V
Reign: May 6, 1910 - Jan 20, 1936
Some claim that King George V wasn’t exactly a particularly great ruler, albeit he did rule Great Britain
As Lord Dawson published the affairs of the King’s last days by stating that he’d administered a lethal dosage of morphine and cocaine to the comatose King in order to speed his departure along...
To which Malcolm Forbes notes that euthanasia is illegal in Britain
Duke of Windsor
(King Edward VIII)
Reign: Jan 20 - Dec 11, 1936
As previously mentioned, Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David, son of King George V, became King Edward VIII briefly during 1936 - although never crowned, ruling the throne for a minimal 326-days before abdicating himself in order to marry Wallace Simpson, as his brother King George VI, who succeeded him, suggested that he henceforth be referred to as The Duke of Windsor, with Simpson becoming the Duchess of Windsor.
Ironically, the Duke finally returned to England to be buried, after his niece Queen Elizabeth II had granted his wish that his wife could be laid to rest alongside him whenever her time came - whilst Edward V & VIII constitute half of the monarchy’s nobility to have never been crowned King...
Goodness gracious Old Man, what in earth does this have to do with motor racing, Y’all might be saying?
‘Whale nothing much really other than being very loosely tied to the late, great ‘Prof, whose memorial services have just taken place recently upon January 18th at Marylebone Parish Church in London
Not to mention the entire hubbub over Prince Willy’s Duchess Kathryn’s impending motherhood, and what the royal couple will name him or her? As it would be a bit ironic if it turned out to be a boy named Edward, as in later life becoming King Edward IX, right? As hopefully it won’t be named Henry, after his younger brother “Harry” who apparently has a penchant for playing strip billiards in “Sin City
As I’d assume the safest bet would be to name him the ‘Wee Charlie, after all I’d just watched on SPEED in early December how the royal family’s car collection was featured at last summer’s Goodwood Festival’s Cartier Concours de Elegance - during the Queen ‘Mum’s diamond jubilee, where one of the two prince’s got the honour of driving “Pop’s” pristine Aston Martin DB5 that Queen Elizabeth II had given him for his 21st birthday; while of course if it’s a girl, then I’d presume that Diana would be a popular choice, eh?
And then of course there’s the unfortunate death of Nurse Jacintha Saldanha, (46) who fell foul of being pranked by two ‘Aussie DJ’s into believing that Queen Elizabeth and son Prince Charles were on the “blower;” Err telephone seeking to find out about Duchess Kathryn’s health, who apparently was recovering from an acute bout of morning sickness ironically at King Edward VII’s hospital...
Thursday, January 31, 2013
British Driver takes Final lap...
As I was unaware that Messer Davis competed in Formula 1, albeit during its infancy of the modern era, when he trundled about la Autodromo Nazionale Monza for what I’d say is probably a pretty unknown entrant these days, the Privateer Scuderia Centro Sud team. As Davis drug his outclassed Cooper-Maserati to eleventh place at Monza
Yet I do recall this Minnowesqe team, as I tend to believe I’d seen Reg Parnell’s name - not to be ‘Cornfuzed with ‘Ol Rufus Parnelli Jones; Hya! Behind the wheel of one of its Maserati 4CL’s; yet as I quickly puruse the team’s honour roll of drivers, Parnell’s is not listed, albeit I recall that he’d served as an Alfa Romeo factory piloto in the series inaugural Grand Prix at Silverstone where Alfa entered four cars...
But the list seemingly reads like a Who’s Who, with a multitude of names, including the likes of: Giancarlo Baghetti, Lorenzo Bandini, Lucien Bianchi - whose Grand-nephew is the current Force India F1 test driver Jules; Joakim Bonnier, Maria Teresa de Filippis - Formula 1’s first female driver; Masten Gregory, Troy Ruttman, Carroll Shelby, Alejandro de Tomaso and Wolfgang Von Trips just to name a few.
While the aforementioned Parnell did indeed drive non-works Maserati’s, albeit not for Scuderia Centro Sud’s revolving cockpit, Reg would later become an F1 team owner along with being team manager for Aston Martin when victorious at Le Mans; but I digress...
And although Davis
As Davis’s 1964 win links him in the history annals with an F1 world champion and another known as the best never to win the crown With Graham Hill being double world champion with 14-wins, whilst Sir Stirling Moss finished runner-up four times en route to claiming 16-victories.
Collins was a multiple Grand Prix winner for Scuderia Ferrari - notching three wins for Enzo, where he became good friends with eventual British world champion Mike Hawthorn; whilst Collins himself was positioned to win the title before handing his Ferrari over to eventual 1956 title winner Juan Manuel Fangio at Monza
Elford & Redman’s names are synonymous with Sports Car racing as both drivers claimed the winner’s laurels in the prestigious Sebring 12-hours and Daytona 24-hours races, whilst Elford also claimed victory in the Monte Carlo Rally, and Shuhzamm, viola! Speaking of the great Brian Redman, lookie thar - Gordon Kirby just magically posted a story about the Brit’s trifecta at Daytona just days after Davis
As six of these seven drivers all made starts in F1 races with the only exception being - at least during the sport’s modern era was the totally unknown to Mwah Cyril Snipe, who reportedly took a two hours nap and still claimed victory in the 1912 Targa Florio…
Yet Davis who mainly raced in Italy and hence went largely unnoticed was shrewd enough to say ‘Fini and simply walked away from motor racing in order of self preservation upon noticing the alarming rate of fellow competitors dying - retiring to South Africa and a broadcasting job instead…
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Breaking news - Sorta...
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Dogs playing on the field during Puppy Bowl IX. (Photo credit: Animal
Planet - Source: photos.denverpost.com)
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Yet the really breaking news for Mwah, was the discovery of the annual Puppy Bowl that I’d never ever heard of... Thus, if Y’all are hunkerin’ for something different then just another game ‘O smash mouth pigskin this Sunday, then I suggest you dial up the Animal Planet channel and drop in for this year’s Puppy Bowl instead! As I’m sure that ‘GURR-ranimalz ‘LUV-er CARPETS will definitely be checkin’ I-T out, right Dave? Dave? Dave’s NOT here; Oh Never Mind!
GO BUTTERSCHOTCH!
Off to Visit Thy Princess...
’Whale at least I’m off to thee Valley of the Sun, a.k.a. Phoenix , Arizona Maricopa County
And somehow I’m doubting seriously that I’ll manage to swing by The Gasman’s ‘lil shooting range; (golf, NOT pistoleros...) Y’all know, where he keeps the world’s fastest golf cart, right? Although most likely I’ll (hopefully) manage another trek to The Captain’s - not Tenille’s museum instead...
And I’d thought it would have been truly ironic if I’d manage to arrive “Justin-time” at ‘Blogmeister Miguel’s housianda for Souper Dooper Bowl-47 and the Seattle Seahawks had somehow managed to GO ALL THE WAY? But alas it wasn’t to be, as instead we’ll be watching ‘Dem San Francisco 49ers vs. the Baltimore
As GULP! Even though I should be rootin’ for Jimmy No. 4 Harbaugh, ex-co-owner of Panther Racing... Instead I’m hoping the Ravens are victorious - for Joe Flacco’s sake and everyone else besides “Ray-Ray!” (Lewis)
Thus I’ll leave Y’all with a few little longish yarns I’ve carefully poonded out ahead of time, while I highly doubt I’ll manage to run into Miss Danica, who’m I’m told is the fastest girl in town; Hya!
Missing Pace car found!
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’Hulio’s May 24 2009
Indianapolis 500 Pace car camaro at Penske Racing Museum; April, 2012. (AZM
Photos)
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(Photo Courtesy No Fenders ‘Blogmeister Miguel)
F1 gets set to launch the Balloons and go Pre-season testing...
Otay, so I’ve managed to go away “Justin-time” to miss this year’s riveting Formula 1 car launches along with the first round of the 2013 F1 Winter Olympics.
Pre Season Testing
Test-1: Feb 5-8; Jerez
Test-2: Feb 19-22; Barcelona
Test-3: Feb 28 - March 3; Barcelona
Also, prior to the run-up of the first test session, eight teams will launch their new 2013 challengers with McLaren leading the way on Jan 31, followed by Ferrari, Force India, Sauber, Red Bull, Mercedes, Scuderia Toro Rosso and Caterham; While Williams has elected to wait a further ‘Fortnight before pulling off the wraps upon its FW35 on Feb 19.
Meanwhile currently (at the time of writing) both Lotus and Marussia were TBA, although I’d ARSE-sume they’d wish to be present at the test sessions, as Team ‘Willy will run an interim chassis at Jerez and I’d expect at least Lotus to do likewise, whilst I’m sure Marussia’s newest rookie Max Chilton could use all the pre-season mileage possible before making his debut at Melbourne on March 17th, whilst I was surprised to read the announcement of thee ‘Glockster’s, nee Timo glock’s sacking by Marussia just a scant 15-days prior to the first test session. As there’s NO word on his replacement, albeit scuttlebutt suggests fellow ‘Rooskie Vitaly ‘VO5 Petrov taking over the seat...
Hmm? Does this suggest that ‘KOVY (Heikki Kovalainen) will remain in F1 at Caterham, or will they go for the cash instead and take on “Guido-the-Dutchman” (Giedo van der Garde) instead? While Force India
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