TexxArse Twister - Austin does F1 in style: Part II

Otay, hopefully now to the meat of thee sandwich, albeit we didn’t find any tenderloin sandwiches at COTA; Hya! (As these are a staple at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, albeit I haven’t had ‘Juan since ‘bout 2006, I think...)

Nose of 2010 Renault F1 Showcar - taken at 2012 Austin Fan Fest. (NA images)

Fri, 11/16

Awakening too ‘Bloody early, at 5AM,  we began the day’s somewhat long trek to the racetrack some where’s on the outskirts of Austin, proper. Leaving around 5:40AM we walked the short distance to the local bus stop and caught our first bus to downtown Austin, which I think arrived at 6:16AM?

Then we walked the multiple blocks over to the downtown shuttle Bus pickup lot, arriving still in the dark with extra layers of clothing on for the 40 degrees-f morning weather; where we were greeted by a small gathering of fans as we walked like bedazzled sheep down the serpentine crowd control barriers, as I hooked a few of the invisible stanchions - and promptly made some jokes about cutting tyres whilst kerb hopping - as my “Seeing Eye” guide was supposed to keep me off the barriers.

We let a few people pass us by before meeting up and walking the rest of the way to the awaiting busses with a man who’d come all the way from Lakeland, Florida and he regaled us with talks about how this was a piece ‘O cake compared to attending the Daytona 500...

Thus my scrawling, scribbled notes say 6:16-8:13AM from shuttle bus to actually being seated in our grandstand seats, thus approx two hours to get to the track. (1-way) Yet the FREE shuttle bus was the only way to go to the racetrack, as they worked GURR-REAT!!! And even better yet, we seemingly avoided any traffic jams by taking what I fondly coined thee “Rick Perry Freeway.” (A somewhat controversial toll-road project, that I believe runs from Austin to San Antonio?)

Its kind of funny how far away from the circuit’s entrance the busses drop you off, as I guesstimated it was approximately a one-mile walk to the track gates, which was all on loose gravel, which seemed it could have been better manicured, as naturally I found A-L-L of the loose boulders to step upon, then we crossed over a smallish pedestrian bridge, which would become a logjam on race day... But all of the COTA staff were super friendly, easy going and very eager to assist anybody; asking us if we had any questions?

Having left my bazooka at home, (HUMOUR!) we made it thru the redundant bag check and ticket scanning line in approx. five-plus minutes, and then when finally arriving at our grandstand, were personally escorted to our seats in the relatively empty Turn-15 grandstand.

And as I’ve mentioned before, if you’re looking for Blow-by-Blow racing coverage here, you’ll be sorely disappointed, since due to what I now call my “Jellybean Vision,” ™ which is exactly what any racing car looks like at speed to Mwah; if I’m lucky they’re jellybean shaped  blobs of differing colour hues speeding past, while other times their just colourless blobs... And thus, as Friday’s Free Practise-1 session loomed, with the day’s cloudiness, our turn was completely bathed in shade.

Then as the public address system crackled to life - hey, I know that dude’s voice, albeit it took me several moments to spit out the name Greg Kramer of SPEED fame... Suddenly the barking noise of blipping throttles could be heard in the distance as ladies & gentlemen, it’s Showtime!

And then as Hickory Dickory Dock the clock struck 9AM central time sharp and they were off! As I think I was told that thee ‘Iceman, nee Kimi Raikkonen’s Lotus was first on track? As I mentioned before, unfortunately our turn in the Hockenheim stadium-like section was completely bathed in shade which meant I couldn’t see any of the twenty-four F1 ‘Landsharks quickly getting up to speed, and basically spent the entire 90-minute session staring at the darkness while simply awash in the shrieking cacophony of piercing ear splitting uncorked 2.4-liter V-8’s straining to buzz their respective 18,000RPM rev-limiters! As I’d listen to them downshift three gears into our complex before blasting back through four up-shifts for the next corner before disappearing out of audible range...

As soon as the session ended we made a beeline to attempt the unthinkable - and try getting the Sauber F1 duo of Sergio Perez & ‘K-Squared’s (Kamui Kobayashi) “John Hancock” at the day’s autograph session, which Clyde had asked me if I wanted to do that? Not sure of where it was at, we meandered around the Fan Plaza looking for the Sauber F1 booth, which naturally they didn’t know where it was, and passed us off to the nearby information kiosk.

Walked past a dude sporting a brand new replica black Lotus F1 team shirt and Clyde stopped and asked who he was rootin’ for? Taken aback he momentarily drew a blank as I said you’d better be rooting for Kimi! And then we told him where the autograph line was.

In the end, this would turn out to be a huge mistake, as the line was horrendously LONG!

Standing there and hardly moving, I had a very enjoyable “Chin-wag,” my favourite new expression thanxs to Derrick Daly... With a man from Mexico City; who seemed to enjoy my basic knowledge of the Mexico Grand Prix, Sergio Perez and Carlos Slim Jr. As he agreed that the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez (named after the Rodriguez brothers) was indeed in sad state and needing of total re-pavement before being capable of hosting another Grand Prix. Yet I’ve since heard somewhere that a 5yr deal was worked out in principal over the weekend at Austin, which Slim Jr. was attending. Possibly beginning in 2014 since the track cannot be refurbished in time for next year’s season.

We stood in the painfully slowly moving line some 45mins ahead of time while first the Ferrari 458 Italia challenge cars blasted by, followed next by the historical F1 cars, which included my Numero Uno favourite the Tyrrell P34 six-wheeler, the solitary dark blue Elf version of 1976; which I believe Clyde told me had pulled off on the side of the track.

And did I mention how horrendous the line was? As we seemed surrounded by people talking el Spanol; DAMN! This Sergio dude is Freakin’ popular! Although I got a ‘Wee bit tired of everybody pushing on me with countless people cutting thru the line, as after standing in it for one hour and twenty minutes, we’d only moved forward enough to see Sergio walk away! And at 12:10PM, which was the cutoff for the 20-minutes Marussia F1 drivers signing, as seriously? All of the autograph sessions were a ridiculously short 20mins, our friend told us we were now in line for the 3:30PM signing, and they were giving up. Thus, having said our farewells, we too decided to throw in the towel and go find some lunch instead, as I’d much rather attempt watching the Formula 1 cars instead of standing in some line for a further three-plus hours; SHEISA!

Interestingly, we learned that 80% of the crowd’s attendees were International visitors, with Mexico making up the largest portion of these; can you say Sergio? Ariva-Ariva-Ariva!

Close-up side view of 2010 Renault F1 Showcar taken at 2012 Austin Fan Fest. (NA images)

Of course by now the lines for the concession stands were massively long! As we gave up on the first two options, before finally settling for a lengthy line for some traditional track food - this case hamburgers, hotdogs, etc to which several choices were already 86’ed! (Sold Out)  As the typical highway robbery price gouging occurred, shilling out $25-large for some plain hamburgers and soggy French-fries. What? NO FreeDumb Fries? Yuck-yuck-yuck...

Returning to our seats “Justin-time” as the infield section is now bathed in sunlight, I’m immediately thinking of how we’re sitting in Adrian Newey’s favourite “Twiddley bits” of what reminds me of the Hockenheim stadium section, as the cars parade  by us through the serpentine section of ‘Ash-fault... As eureka! I can now actually occasionally catch glinting flicks ‘O colours of certain F1 machinery racing down the Turn-2 hill off in the distance. Then the brightly coloured cars, most notably the Silver Arrows and bright greens of the Force India and Caterham’s pop out at Mwah, while the Red Bull’s and Ferrari’s don’t even remotely resemble their known color hues to me...

Yet I revel in the joy of being capable of seeing the rainbow of jellybeans hurtlin’ towards our corner downshifting twice before rocketing away into the bright sunshine. As I’d later be asked if I could really hear the differences in engine pitches? Y’all know how blindfolk have “Super Powers,” right?

Yet, don’t know if it was simply something being tested or not, but one of the Force India’s sounded extremely different downshifting, audibly different then the others, while the Hispania’s ‘Cossie lumps (Cosworth) were also audibly discernable, albeit they sounded like they were simply going slower...

Then we trundled our way back to the shuttle bus stop after a few moments of the woefully slower Ferrari 458 Italia challenge cars and heard Greg Kramer thanking ‘All for attending; noting that 63,000-plus had shown up for Day-1.

Then a few hours later were back at our humble abode, having dinner and recharging our batteries for the first of our three evening’s foray to the downtown Fan Fest, where we walked around the numerous displays, including two F1 Show car’s, of which I scribbled 2010 Renault? Which was a pretty good guess since it was indeed the 2010 Reggie “Flamethrower” (front facing exhaust) to which the formerly ‘Quick Nick Heiddfeld utilized to flame broil his car... While the other chassis, most likely another Renault, was painted or wrapped in solid blue Pepsi colour with Doritos advertising upon it.

Also, we went into some crazy booth where Nelie kept making me scrunch down further ‘N further; what thee HELL? In order to get all three of us into the old style photo-booth photo, all of which was prior to what we’d come for.

As Clyde had proclaimed we’ve gotta see Sara Hickman! Who was taking one of the multiple stages at 9PM, which we dutifully were seated for prior to her show beginning. As reputedly Sara’s a well known Austin musician with quite the following, although I’d never heard of her before.

The show opened with Sara singing about how “Love’s not a size six dress,” which afterwards she dedicated to Phoebe, “her platonic lesbian girlfriend.”

Sara pointed out how her twelve year old daughter had braided her hair for tonight’s show and she thought it SUCKED that kids weren’t welcome to the show... As I found my favourite song of her’s to be about Boxes, and trapping ourselves inside of them, which sadly I cannot seem to locate upon YouTube...

 Sat, 11/17

After a somewhat late evening and definitely long day, the 5AM wake-up bell came way too early, and as we were dragging our butts, Nelie ended up driving us to the bus stop further down the line in order to catch the 5:52AM bus, in order to copy the previous days trek to downtown Austin’s awaiting shuttle busses. Yet, we arrived so early that it was still dark out - that the shuttle busses weren’t running yet, as ironically, and improbably, we met up with the same Gentleman from Florida once again in the cattle corral; YIKES, great minds think alike, eh?

And as we  stood in the slow lane, we met up with a couple from Texas, who were most curious about just how much could I see, having noticed my white cane. Thus I explained to them my Jellybean vision. As Clyde & I would be asked later in line if we needed assistance? As the volunteer told us we could use the special “Handicap” line  instead of waiting with everyone else, and thus we were whisked to the front of the bus line; SWEET!

The man proclaimed he was the track’s electrical engineer; who in his 32yr professional career had never seen a project scheduled that aggressive. Mentioned how after it looked like the project was “Tits Up!” The contractor had pulled all of his heavy equipment off the project, thinking it’d be at least six weeks before re-starting. Thus, they had to bring everything back after just three weeks instead, as the management shuffle got things re-fired.

He also noted how he’d never seen that many snakes in his life! Went out to survey an electrical junction/sub-station and was greeted by a seven foot long rattler that was as thick as his arms... Never seen that many dens of snakes before, as the bulldozers ran into multiple snakes, as they were after all building upon swamplands; YIKES!

I asked him if the employees had been invited to the ribbon cutting ceremony that Mario Andretti drove the Lotus on track for. NO! HELL, they didn’t even give us tickets for the race, we’re going today, in order to let our daughter who’s in the Texas State University marching band go tomorrow...

And I’d read previously to SPEED’s half hour special on the construction of COTA, that the racetrack was being built upon a flood plain and some natural gas lines had to be relocated; while the show noted how they’d had to go out of state to procure the proper soil needed for constructing the ‘Ash-falts bed, which although I never saw I-T, makes a very large 132-foot elevation change!

Another enjoyable bus ride down thee Rick Perry highway and the subsequent  walk into the track, sans yesterday’s shuffle, once again saw us in our seats prior to Free Practise-3, albeit this time I was super surprised to hear the Ferrari 458 Italia challenge cars on track prior to 8AM, as I’m used to Seattle Pacific Raceway’s mandatory NO engines fired until 9AM rule - as surely la Scuderia’s  must have been running at 7:30AM; WTF? As I’m guessing we somehow got to our seats even earlier?

Yet, today our corner was more visible light-wise, as even though I was wearing the world famous floppy ‘Kuhnadiun hat... The sun was  so DAMN low on the horizon that it simply was coming across us almost horizontally, as Clyde would later mention how you could tell which side everybody had been sitting on due to one side of our faces being sunburned.

Cannot really remember that much from the shortened one-hour final practice session, albeit the usual suspects seemed ‘Bloody F-A-S-T; most notably the Red Bulls seemed quickest, followed by the Ferrari’s and the gleaming McLaren’s, this weekend sporting Verizon sponsorship instead of their traditional Vodafone livery.

Needing to make a ‘Loo Pit stop, we ended up walking around the confines a bit before deciding to finally view the racing action from a different vantage point and hence, walked around to what I called the “backside” of where we’d been sitting previously. As we decided to watch Qualifying from the General Admission grass viewing hillside leading towards the ninety degree final corner leading onto the straightaway.

Arrows A4 and Arrows A3. (Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Like I mentioned before, the Historic Grand Prix (HRG) flotilla included the likes of the Tyrrell P34, which I’d naturally ARSE-sumed that HRG was made up of the normally aspirated three-liter Cosworth era, which indeed I’d later discover is exactly what the fifty-some strong owners of 1966-83 F1 cars is comprised of.

And while Clyde pointed out the likes of what many consider the most beautiful vintage F1 car - the John Player Special liveried Lotus Type-78 of Mario Andretti’s to Mwah; as I heard somewhere that it hadn’t been running right, or to Mario’s liking on Friday.

Clyde also pointed out the Team ‘Willy Williams FW07 of 1980 World Champion Alan Jones (my guess) and a Marlboro “BAD HABITZ” car, which naturally must be a McLaren M23 chassis, right? As several cars routinely passed by our vantage point; but what I didn’t know until poondin’ out this riveting story was that Mexico’s David Martinez of Champ Car fame, driving for the ‘legendous Gerald Forsythe was quickest on Friday aboard an ex-Riccardo Patrese Arrows A3, whilst some dude nicknamed the Flying Dutchman, aka Arie Luyendyk was also taking part aboard another McLaren.

Hmm? Why didn’t the PA ‘Boyz tell us any of this? As I was quite contented to have Greg Kramer and Jonathan Green doing the majority of the announcing, with F1’s Bob Constonduros leading the booth during the Formula 1 portions of track activity.

Martinez quickest in HRG Friday practice

VIDEO: Historic F1 cars on COTA grid

Thus we watched a great ‘Hystericals (Historic) F1 race Saturday as the primer to the BIG BOYZ show, F1 qualifying, albeit there was an overly long, drawn out hour plus wait between the HRC race and the Q1 ‘Quallie session, in which I finally took off my sweatshirt as the mercury continued rising...

And once again, how can I try describing the F1 Landsharks? Although at least now I could see them a bit more, albeit the sun was too bright, and they were hurtlin’ down a straightaway, as Clyde mused it don’t even look like they lift for the corner! Guestimating they were rocketing into the final turn at 100mph or more? As I enjoyed having Clyde call out the various different cars of desire; there goes a Ferrari with green helmet - which I believe is Massa, since I thought I’d heard later that Alonso sports a blue crash bucket?

There goes a Red Bull, and another Red Bull; there goes a silver car with a red helmet - which I know for certain, was Michael Schumacher; there goes Kimi, and on-and-on it went, as the only Quallie session which seemed somewhat long? NOT! (Just used to SPEED carving the SHIT outta the TV broadcasts, like commercials every 6mins Yuhs know...) Was the twenty minutes Q1 session when all 24-cars were on track... Note to Uncle Bernaughty, there’s NO such thingy as too many cars, as in WHHHHAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only ever wanted ten teams on the grid; BOO HOO HOO BERNIE! GO STICK A CORK IN I-T!

As perhaps Emperor Bernardo has never ever had to sit thru a pathetic Champ Car race at Portland Int’l Raceway with only 17-cars taking the green flag, before having some drop out. Or how ‘bout a lowly twelve Indy Lights chassis answering the bell...

2010 Renault F1 Showcar, side view - taken at 2012 Austin Fan Fest. (NA images)

And ok, so it’s the age old problema of a Formula 1 car going too slow and hence the 107% rule for the despondent Hispania’s; BUTT! Like I told Clyde is there really such a thing as a SLOW F1 car? And apparently Bernie’s simply worried about keeping a bunch ‘O extra coinage in his pockets instead...

And I don’t really remember anything about Q2, as perhaps one day soon, as I’ve made it my Christmas Day’s mission to watch the ‘Ol Memerox I’ve recorded of the qualifying and race... I’ll actually get to relive the whole ‘Bloody thing and see what I missed? Although I think the usual suspects made it into the final ‘Q3-qualie session, i.e.; Master Zebb, Webber, Hamilton, ‘JENSE, Raikkonen, etc.

As all I know is that I went home happy, with Sebastian Vettel scoring another Pole position, with “Louise ‘JAGUAR: Hamilton alongside him and overly content with that pesky Alonso being mired down in P9!

Yet I could only smile to myself listening to the European sounding voice behind me musing over how he was already sick of Vettel, claiming it felt way too much like the Schumacher era, and he’s so ‘Bloody young!

2012 USGP Qualifying results

When seeing the large-ish crowd ahead of us, Clyde tried taking us on a shortcut, as the volunteers said; we just watched Y’all walk around in a circle. Thus looking for a different shortcut Clyde walked us thru the VIP parking lot where we bumbled into  a cluster of people gawking at a yellow ‘N black low slung car, which this funky lookin’ bumble bee turned out  to be a Bugatti Veyron - after Clyde told me he could see the four turbochargers sticking out of the bodywork. Yet the parking lot led us nowhere so it was back to where we’d begun to join the melee walking to the awaiting shuttle busses...

That evening’s Fan Fest concert was to see Black Joe Lewis & The Honey Bears, which apparently had gone Acid Rock (Heavy Metal) upon us, albeit I’d never seen or heard of this group before, but Clyde was pretty disgusted with it and fortunately we left early to the sanctuary of an awaiting bed...

Images

2010 Renault F1 Showcar pics taken by Nelie.

Sergio Perez - Source: fanpop.com

To continue reading, see; TexxArse Twister - Austin does F1 in style - Part III

TexxArse Twister - Austin does F1 in style...

2012 Austin F1 Fan program handed out at airport upon arrival...

Howdy Folks, another year, another story woefully late from the overflowing No Fenders Storybox, as ‘Indy bureau chief Daniel Baines Cooper cheekily quipped last November; what NO ‘Confuzers in Texas? And I suppose Y’all don’t have TV’s either? As sorry folks, but I don’t have a laptop, do TWIT-er or Facebook - thus unable to do any “live” reporting; whilst preferring utilizing ‘Lucy, my ESS-Steamed Screen-reader whilst poondin’ slowly aways upon my old school’s desktop keyboard, hence the stories like fine wine, take awhile to reach their maturation date...

As perhaps Y’all will recall that your humble No Fenders scribe attended last year’s inaugural Formula 1 race at Austin, Texas - the first F1 race Stateside in five years time, having attended my last USGP at Mother Speedway in ‘Twenty-oh-six when some chap named Michael Schumacher stole the show! As I still revel in the memory of doing my bestest ‘lil German boy baton conducting symphony maestro to the soothing sounds of the Italian national anthem at Indianapolis, following the German anthem towards the end of this never ending playing of country songs for DER TERMINATOR and la Scuderia, (his Ferrari Constructor) once again standing upon the top step of the podium; but I digress...

Tues, 11/13

Some of Y’all who may know Mwah? Would be shocked to learn that I purposely decided to forgo thee Power Trio, nee ‘Kuhnadiun Krunch, aka RUSh concert taking place that very same evening at Seattle’s Key Arena in favour of getting up at the obscene time of 3:30AM in  order  to go to the airport instead for the long day’s trek to Austin, Texas; YIKES! As I can only imagine this is what Grizzled ‘Journo Joe Saward does on a weekly basis during the Grand Prix season, eh?

And its pretty STUPID how the airlines deliberately take great pains to ensure that NO direct flights to Austin are available, ergo like trying to get to Indianapolis non-stop; but I digress again, as I don’t want ‘CARPETS to get all worked up over my travel details, right?

Arriving at Austin via a 32-minute flight from Houston, I was greeted by another of the multitude ‘O escorts assisting me, who promptly offered me another wheelchair ride to baggage where Nelie was to meet me. The funniest part about this, was having folded up my white cane, and as Mary Ellen has informed Mwah; you don’t sport the traditional “Ray Charles” dark sunglasses look - so you’re obviously NOT blind...

Thus as we exited the security perimeter a woman was standing in the hallway passing out F1 magazines, to which my escort stopped so the lady could stick one into my lap, even though I couldn’t read I-T! Riding the elevator the man said can I look at it? But kudos to Austin for going this extra mile, as who knows how many of these magazines they handed out the week prior to the Grand Prix; while my escort also boasted he’d already seen Mario Andretti walking thru the airport - which is funny since I agreed with Danny that Mario would obviously be flying on his own personal jet and going first class the entire weekend as part of his compensation for being the Circuit Of The Americas ambassador...

After picking up my luggage, as don’t get me started on the STUPID bag fee - we went to my very first Sonic burger resturante, as apparently Tuesday evenings are half-price burger nights. This was before I fell into a stupour - of Sleep Danny! After my day’s travel...

Wed, 11/14

After a peaceful morning’s slumber, it was funny to listen to the local ‘Internetz only KUOW2 Tacoma, WA broadcast and the day’s weather forecast, not to mention being two hours behind time wise... Thus I listened to a program I’d never heard of before called the Diane Reims Show and a very interesting and intellectual writer named Wendell Berry, who I’d never heard of before - as the people calling in all seemed to gush over this person and his wisdom with words, as I very much enjoyed his no-nonsense approach by telling the listeners I didn’t change you, you have to change yourself. As apparently this is one person to definitely check out his works of literature.

And whilst Clyde pittled about outside, I listened to a Fresh Air program discussing the book Brain On Fire: My Month of Madness with its author, Susannah Cahalan which was all about a very rare brain disorder - which literally makes your head feel like its on fire and causes a range of what we deem irrational behaviours...

Austin’s skyline with the Congress Avenue Bridge, Town Lake and tree-framed cityscape. (Source: istockphoto.com)

Afterwards, we piled into ‘claudio’s well worn PickemUp truck and lumbered down Congress Ave. towards downtown Austin before parking upon a side street prior to crossing the bridge. Thus, on an absolutely perfect fall day, or summer to your Seattleite  scribe, weather-wise, i.e.; mid-70’s (deg-f) we went upon a brief ‘Walkabout and henceforth crossed over the famous Congress Avenue bridge which is known for its multitude ‘O bats that live underneath it. As I was told up to two million bats take up residence underneath the structure during summertime, before flying south for the winter.

Congress Ave bridge Bats

Clyde & I made our way to the local transit office in order for him to acquire his senior citizen bus pass and then meandered about the downtown area having spotted work already in progress for the weekend’s forthcoming Fan Fest. As Clyde mentioned there was a large delivery style truck sporting the word Pirelli upon it parked in the square area being set-up for the fast approaching Fan Fest forum.

Having walked around the small square, we headed back towards the bridge now facing into the sun, stopping briefly for Clyde to point out to Mwah the cities skyline of hotel buildings behind us, as far as the eye could see. Then we passed by a giant construction project where a multi-story condominium building was being built before heading home and a relatively lazy evening...

Thurs, 11/15

The lazy morning routine continues, as this is the quiet before the storm soon to be known as Formula 1. Thus I started the day by listening to Diane Reims once again, and found it delightfully refreshing to hear her call BULLSHIT on one of her guests who’d called Hogwash upon his opposite number in the debate on the impending shortage of commercial aeroplane pilots. Diane said you’re welcome to disagree but that type of language won’t be tolerated on my show; how quaint.

As my poorly scribbled notes start off by denoting the range of emotions the day’s activities bring. As it was very disturbing to listen to the (Diane Reims) program about Covenant House and the issue of parents physically abusing and abandoning their children upon their coming out over their sexual preferences, as I was aghast over the thought of making teenagers homeless simply because they decide to become gay or lesbians - which in turn led to the discussion of being taken advantage of on the streets as hired sex workers typically leading to sexual diseases or even death...

So, from potential aeroplane pilot shortages, to homeless teenagers and life on the streets we then segwayed to recycling and two truckloads of refuge to the local Ecology Action facility in the heart of downtown Austin, which seems somewhat surreal; as this would be akin to having a recycling station smack-dab in downtown Seattle, say like at the site of Century Link Field; Y’all know where those astounding Seahawks play some ‘lil ‘Ol Pigskin game., right?

2013 ROUSH Stage 3 Mustang at PLYMOUTH, Mich. April 4, 2012. (Source: roushperformance.com)

On finishing unloading our second load of recyclables, Clyde noticed two NARLY looking Mustangs and asked if I wanted to go look at them? Uh, Duh! So he drove across the street and parked nearby them. Exiting the dilapidated ‘Feurd’s (Ford) cab, Clyde asked me: What’s Rousch Charged? Holy Superchargers Batman! That’s in as of Jack Roush fame, who builds a truly BAD ARSE “Tuner” Mustang and the Charged bit obviously means they’re supercharged dude! NO idea if these were the all conquering Stage III beasts or not, but they were so BAD ARSE lookin’ I’m just gonna ARSE-sume they were the *540bhp” Stage III behemoths Roush Performance is currently producing.

2012 Stage III Roush Mustang

Clyde asked the two male occupants what they were up to? As the two ‘Stangs sat idling, albeit eerily quiet for such nastiness shoehorned underneath the custom bonnet, as Clyde remarked they sure didn’t look like NO FREAKIN’ stock Mustang! As one of the gentlemen told him they were just looking up directions for Highway 71; Oh, are you going to COTA? Yep, nice, we’ll see Yuhs at the track tomorrow as the two “Slime Green” (lime green) Roushes with no license plates, instead just sporting paper tags slithered away under a low rumble...

Funnier yet, was after those two beasts left us in their rear view mirror, we were passed by a rosso Ferrari 360 Modena or 430? As I can no longer discern my ‘Exoticarz due to what I’ve coined as my “Jellybean vision,” i.e.; everything just looks like a huge freaking coloured blob from a distance to Mwah these days...

VIDEO: 2010 Roush Mustang

Returning home and having consumed one of Nelie’s countless fine meals, the two lads ventured off to the neighboring town of Buda, Texas in search of the State Park where this ‘lil town was hosting the warm-up act for the weekend’s Fan Fest in Austin, as we arrived “Justin-time” to hear the local band named Charlie Hurt ‘N The Hecklers take the stage in what was now becoming a very cool evening. As I cannot explain I-T; BUTT this band’s harmonics were so bad (purposely out of tune?) that I actually began to sorta like them in a strange, twisted, funny Ha-Ha type ‘O way... As this made me think that perhaps this is what a true “Honky-tonk” band sounds like?

Charlie Hurtin & The Hecklers

Then there seemed like an overly long delay to reposition the stages instruments for the night’s featured act: Kim Wilson and The Fabulous Thunderbirds, which I’d only ever heard their one hit song “Tough Enough” on the radio before. As they actually sounded quite good, and Kenny Sargent of Speed Freaks fame claims ‘Ol Kim Wilson can sweat up a storm if Yuhs let him, whatever that means? As Clyde noted it looked like the only original member of the band was Messer Wilson, with the rest of the band mates looking quite a bit younger.

We stayed awhile, as they played a bit of music off of  their forthcoming 2013 CD before they played that hit song Tough Enough before Clyde & myself now becoming quite cold and needing to awake at Oh DARK 30 to go to the racetrack tomorrow called it a night...

To continue reading, see; TexxArse Twister - Austin does F1 in style: Part II

Gone Green Sea Turtles spotting!

Stealing a page from Grizzled ‘Journo Joe Saward’s playbook, I’ve decided to go upon another holiday during the buildup to the fast approaching 2013 Formula 1 Season Opener Down Under; which remember will be on the NBC Sports Network this year Stateside - so you’d better bug your cable provider now if Y’all don’t have I-T!

Therefore, your humble No Fenders scribe should be cavorting ‘bout the White Sands beach upon thee B-I-G Island right now, or more likely bobbing like a cork in the warm blue Pacific ocean; CRIKEYS! Hey what can I say? It pays to have friends & family in high places, right?

Thus, I won’t have any free time to catch-up upon the continuing F1 Winter Olympics testing in Barcelona, ‘DragonGate or IndyCar Spring Training at thee ‘Barber’s... Leaving Y’all with a few more elongated posts whilst I’m hoping not to step on any ‘Cammo Sea Turtles tanning themselves upon the beaches, as now all I need is Juan ‘O them drinks with the funny ‘lil umbrellas...

The Other Wallace...

Did Y’all see ‘DW Junior race Friday night at ‘DayToner in duh ‘PickemUp Trucks race? Y’all know where I think somebody named Danica was on Pole? What, you mean there’s other drivers competing at Daytona? Hya!

As this story has held my attention for a little while as the New York Times recently proclaimed that Darrell Wallace Jr. NO relation to Kenny; Hya! Is only the fourth black driver to contest a full season ride in NASCAR, following in the footsteps of Wendell Scott, Willy T. Ribbs and Bill Lester.

Thus I had to break down ‘N watch the Trucks race to see how Wallace Jr. and my other driver “Nielsen  Pickett,” aka Nelson Piquet Jr. faired.

But alas, not only did I NOT watch the ‘DannicaTona, but! I forgot to watch ‘Dem PickemUp Trucks, albeit I hear that Wallace Jnr. Had a pretty decent rookie debut...

Kyle O’Gara Wants You!

To buy one of his limited edition 2013 Freedom 100 Fundraiser T-Shirts - which I’ve just picked mine up from the mailbox this past Tuesday - Thanxs to Autosport Radio’s Donald Kay who facilitated my procurement of said t-shirt!

And it’s a GURR-REAT! Looking t-shirt with printing on both sides, as Kyle’s hoping to use the funds accrued to help him secure a ride for this year’s Freedom 100 with Fan Force United.

NO idea if T-Shirts are available online or not? As  Y’all can try purusing the Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing (SFHR) website to see if you can find anything under Kyle O’Gara’s name? Or better yet just contact them and  get your t-shirt pronto...

Good Luck Kyle!

IMS Hall of Fame Museum: 2012 visit - The Sequel

Spirit of America (DOB Photos)

Tuh Duh! Here’s the final installment in the overly delayed posting of the multiple part story of this IMS Hall of Fame museo trilogy, albeit there could be a fourth part  if I tried recollecting hard enough my 2009 visit. (My debutant Indy 500...) As I decided to bookend the 2X Centennials by attending the Moto GP race instead; (as previously noted) but Nah, I think most of its gone, although I’ve got a bunch ‘O pictures from that trip floatin’ around here somewheres in the No Fenders scrap heap; CRIKEYS!

And it was shocking how much difference a lone year made, since the museum was the most crowded since I’ve begun this now yearly tradition; Hmm? Perhaps it was the HEAT? Although it’d cooled down somewhat from the scorching temperatures ‘O raceday, it was still HOT-HOT-HOT! (Outside; yeah, that’s gotta be duh ticket...) As I smiled to myself thinking ‘bout how the museum’s attendance had gone from nearly deserted just a scant three years ago - where I bumped into some chap named William Power! The day after the race, to over filled with way too many ‘Gawkers...

And may be it’s the economy? Or Jeffrey “I’m the Walrus” Belskus’s ever tightening financial grip? But not only was I basically ignored - the museum’s staff had the audacity to charge me attendance this time! (After having let me precede for free the past two year’s in-a-row; SHEEZ! I mean I kind of enjoy getting in for FREE! (Although it’s NOT like the 5-bucks admission fee killed me, right? I just like the preferential treatment my white cane sometimes affords me...)

And repeating that most belabored phrase here at NoFendersville - the day’s outing at Mother Speedway’s most excellante museuo is fast slippin’ away - as Tomaso continues to play! Hey, its summertime in Seattle and there’s actually been a whole lotta Uhm? Bright stuff; Hya! (‘Whale at least when I originally scribbled this, since we’ve just had the mother ‘O all rainstorms the Monday prior to Thanksgiving...)

Lotus P1!

Yep! Lotus was actually P1 as we walked into the over crowded museum’s main floor... As it was a REAL Lotus greeting us, as in Team Lotuses 1964 T-34 that Jimmy Clark put on the Pole for Indy that year before ultimately winding up second; as it was the sophomore season of Colin Chapman’s attack upon the Speedway, which we all know was victorious the following year.

Thus, in what has now become a common theme, I asked ‘CARPETS if he would take a picture of this beautiful racecar... And we waited ‘N waited for a clearing among the crowd, but finally gave up as there were simply too many people hovering around this sharp lookin’ Lotus...

All conquering 1966 Ford GT 40(Mk II (DOB Photos)

Sports Car Row

Think this is where we went next? As I’ve forgotten the exact sequence of viewing...  As I became dumbfounded over the marvelous brown? Ford GT-40 sitting parked in a stunning row of wicked Sports Cars. Asking Dave what it was?  As surely it’s a GT40, right? Dave said it’s a Mark I-I... NO buddy, that’s one of the baddest BAD ARSE Sports Cars of all time. The all conquering Ford GT-40 MarkII which crushed the competition at le Circuit de la Sarthe (Le Mans) in 1966!

While parked alongside I-T was la Scuderia’s final overall winner, the NART 1965 Ferrari 250LM, with another car I’d never seen before; a super narly lookin’ Corvette SS which I believe was from the Zora Arkus-Duntov era. A 1957 ‘Vette, perhaps? As I tend to recall there were five or more ‘Tin Tops lined up in Le Mans slanted starting position of the early 1960’s, when drivers actually ran across the track to their awaiting mounts to start the race, as I still recall watching some film of drivers hurtling themselves into awaiting cockpits - with Sir Stirling Moss or Jimmy Clark actually mangling their chassis in the process... 

VPJ Dihedral wing (DOB Photos)

(Pic-1) Ex-Lotus F1 Designer Maurice Philippe also designed cars built for Vel's Parnelli Jones "Super Team" in 1972 - which were tested with much secrecy employing side mounted dihedral wings...

’Ol Rufuses Private Collection

This was ‘kOOL! As the museum had a bunch ‘O Rufus Parnelli Jones private collection on hand, as we started with another batch ‘O cars I’d never seen, the Viceroy “Smokey-Smoke” (cigarette) chassis of the Vels Parnelli Jones Superteam era; when the team featured a three-driver lineup of ‘super Mario, ‘BIG AL and Joe Camel; Err Leonard as Mario Andretti and Al Unser Sr’s teammate.

VPJ Standard wing (DOB Photos

(Pic-2) After considerable experimentation prior to the first weekend of 500 qualifications by the Vel Miletich & Parnelli Jones (VPJ) team, it was determined the cars ran better with a standard rear wing...

There were two Viceroy Cars on hand, and one of them featured a very strange wing - I believe this is the Dihedral car designed by Maurice Philippe I’ve read about recently in Donald Davidson’s Autocorse History of Indianapolis book. (Which ‘CARPETS photos & borrowed captions above seem to confirm...)

And I think there was one of the BAD ARSE ‘Ba-Jah (Baja) Bronco’s - you know the Powered by ‘Oly winner... Hey, everybody from my generation up here knows that Oly stood for Olympia beer which was brewed in Tumwater, Washington - which its slogan was: It’s the Water!

And then there were the beautiful PJ-Colts, or as ‘CARPETS noted: WINNERS! As the brace ‘O ‘BIG AL’s 1970-71 Johnny Lightning Specials were parked side-by-side, and yeah, they’re two separate chassis... And can’t recall if the Joe Leonard turbine car was part of this grouping of insane vehicles or not - also previously having read how Lotus sold one of these unique chassis to Rufus in 1969...

Spirit of America

Obviously I wasn’t expecting to see this most unusual car? Err, rocket-sled on display at the Hall of Fame museum no less! As I very briefly know the history of Craig Breedlove, who was the first person to exceed 400, 500 and 600 miles-per-hour; Aye Karumba! All of these feats being accomplished in his various Spirit of America vehicles - yet when I think of Breedlove, I flash back to his ill-fated attempt to beat the BLOODY BRITS to the speed of sound upon land in which he failed miserably... Experiencing a wicked spin and crash when his crew miscalculated the Black Rock desert’s wind speed - along with destroying one of his few jet engines when a loose bolt was left inside of I-T! Thus licking his self-inflicted wounds, Breedlove’s camp could only watch dejectedly as RAF Wing Commander and F4U Phantom jet fighter pilot Andy Green went supersonic aboard Thrust SSC in 1997 with a two-way average speed of 763mph!

The 700 Club

No. 54 Novi (DOB Photos)

Other Notables

Unfortunately I didn’t take any notes (once again) and thus I really cannot recall all of the Gems we saw - as I don’t even remember gawking at the Novi; YIKES! As this is surely one of the coolest; ‘Whale, Uhm? Definitely LOUDEST! Indy Cars of all time with its staccato supercharger furiously screaming towards maximum revolutions ensuring the V-8 engine it sat atop melody to be heard ALL the way ‘round Mother Speedway!

As there were other Pre-war racecars interspersed with various winners, like the Nalley Valley Potato Machine; Err, sorry inside joke there. As Nalley’s used to be a home grown affair... It was actually thee Rachel’s ’98 Eddie Cheever winner, etc. As it was fun seeing the Rachel’s-mobile parked alongside a different era’s mount in order to notice the stark characteristics of tyres, wings, etc. May be the Bobby Unser 1968 Risoline?

And I think The Flying Dutchman’s Pizza-mobile was there, along with ‘Gordie’s (Gordon Johncock) ’73 STP Eagle, as the traditional grouping of what I commonly call “Winners Row” was redistributed throughout the museum.

Also quickly PEAK’ed at one of the Cummins Diesel Special’s, as the original version is currently on loan in Tacoma, WA at LeMay-America’s Car Museum... While I got to briefly drool over Joe Leonard’s pole-winning Lotus 56 turbine-car.

Please forgive me for omitting any of the other treasured race cars on hand - have just forgotten them, as it always seems like a bit ‘O sensory overload when visiting the museo...

DannyBoyz Mount

As we gravitated back towards the Jim Clark Lotus to take my picture - a sudden roar of people excitedly moving about the museum washed over us... Perfect timing for a Photo-Op, as the museum’s staff was rolling in the 2011 Indy 500 winning Bryan Herta Autosports entry driven by the late Dan Wheldon, to which I told Dave I wanna pic of I-T!

But Dave said there were too many people around it, so we walked off to view the other suddenly forlorned raceing cars on display, whilst I recall while circling back a woman was trying to take a picture of another racecar to which Dave said: She’s trying to take your picture... NO she’s NOT, silly! To which the woman replied to me: How do you know, may be I am?

And with the crowd having now vacated Wheldon’s car, I had ample time to examine the No. 98 somewhat up close, as I sure do like those ‘Ol CRAPWAGONS; Hya! Actually I’ve never really been that bothered by them and I still prefer them OVER the new DW-12, (which Derrick Daly hit a home run recently upon Autosport Radio by referring to I-T’s rear flanks as Kardashian humps...) albeit it didn’t look as horrific as I’d thought previously when checking out Helio’s Showcar at the airport. But I sure wish DannyBoy ‘SPIKE Wheldon was here, albeit I’m glad that thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown got the ride...

(All Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)