Tomaso with His favourite Hoond’ Hang 10’ Hilo at
one of His favourite Beaches upon Ye Oregonian Coast. (The Tomaso Collection)
Although I cannot describe how much Blogging has
become a daily ritual in my life to Y’all. Or how much I enjoy the physicality
of typing words on a keyboard…
Having religiously poonded’ out riveting Blog
stories here upon No Fenders for over 17 years now, it’s funny what I’ve divulged
and kept to myself All of those years. Since I’m always leery of putting too
much info on Al Gore’s wonderous invention, Hya!
Yet I was somewhat bemused when recently Googling
my name to instantly learn what city I currently live in, my age and former
cities I’ve resided in. Not to mention apparently my address, phone number and
No “Life’s a Bowl of chocolates” analogies
here! But it is amazing what we Humans allow to cause stress in our daily lives!
As stress has to be one of the largest killer, Righto? Along with coronary
Moving into my Bungalow by the Sea in Bumfiddle’
Florence, ironically on the very same day that thee Young wicky’, ergo Robert
Wickens suffered His Horrendous accident at Pocono! Upon establishing a new “General
Practitioner,” (Primary Care Physician) I was surprised when He told me that I
had a Heart murmur. Before He performed an EKG during my initial exam visit
along with ordering an Echo Cardiogram.
Being Blind, have I mentioned that lately, Y’all?
I depend upon verbal or electronic information, since naturally I cannot read
written information. And not being informed of the My Chart electronic patient
portal system back then. Along with my “GP” not saying a Bloody word! I never
knew the results of said Echo Cardiogram…
Thus I went about my daily life and merrily
blogging away, totally clueless over what Heart palpitations or what is also known
as Arrythmia was. And when I had these random, sporadic palpitations over the
next several years. I foolishly said it was just my Heart murmur talking to me…
Fast forwarding to last Fall. A Fortnight following
Marcus Ericsson’s birthday, in the middle of the night I awoke to the longest,
most severe episode of Heart palpitations I’d ever had, lasting over an hour!
Although I had gotten creeped out listening to the Cabinet of Curiosities book
about harvesting Body parts to extend one’s life expectancy over 100 years that
The next few days I wound myself up into a
frenzied lather trying to poond out copious blog stories for your consumption whilst
on Holiday Up North Eh celebrating another milestone birthday.
Furiously Poondin’ away on my No Fenders five
part Triple Crown Sports Cars winners tome. For which I’m happy to say after
the fact, was some of the most read blog stories last Fall! Which makes it
Yet ultimately the
stress this put upon my ‘Ol ticker’, for which I could feel my chest tightening
wasn’t a good thing! Especially since I have No set deadlines to publish
anything! Other than the internal deadlines I set upon myself…
Five nights later after “watching”, Err listening
to Who’s Coming to dinner on Turner Classic Movies. (TCM) Ironically Spencer
Tracy’s final Film, dying of a massive Heart attack 17 days after filming
ended. I had my second, and far worse Arrythmia episode! Lasting intermittingly
from late evening to early nextmorning, Holy Heart Palpitations Batman!
Calling my GP’s office and saying I wanted to
see a Cardiologist Stat! A triage Nurse phoned me later that evening during
dinner and asked me what my symptoms were?
After a long silent, pregnant pause. She asked
are you Married? Do you have a Girlfriend? A Boyfriend? Before informing me they
All would have said Dial 911 immediately!
She then said that my Doctor had a next day
appointment available and could I make it? To which I did so, since obviously
my two elongated episodes of Heart palpitations, especially the second one
scared the Crap outta me!
My Doctor, whose actually just a “PA”
(Physician’s Assistant) told me He still heard my Heart murmur during my exam.
And then ordered a second Echo Cardiogram nearly some five years later. Along
with the wearing of a 14-day Heart monitor.
Now here’s where it begins getting Funny, HaHa!
Having asked my GP if it was Ok to where my Heart monitor Up North Eh! To Oh
Kanaduh’ to celebrate my birthday. He said they’ve got Hospitals in Canada,
where are you going? Into the Bushes? As I had no idea He was a comedian some
five years later…
Scheduling called me for my Echo Cardiogram and
began by saying they were booked way out into mid-December. Wait a minute, we’ve
just had a cancellation, can you come on Sunday, October 1st? I’ll take it!
Being less than a week since I’d seen my Doctor…
Amazingly, and She recognized me immediately
when “Fetching” me, presumably since I’m one of the very few individuals in our
sleepy Seaside town who utilizes a white cane. It was the same Female technician
who’d done my previous Echo Cardiogram at the beginning of 2019. And Alarm
Bells instantly began ringing when She told me to tell Her what’s going on and
why was I there?
Needless to say, I was stunned to learn during
the course of an Hour’s plus thorough exam, that I had progressed from moderate
to severe Aortic stenosis, SHIT!
Since All my doctor had told me during that
prior exam was that I was in the prime age bracket for Male’s having Heart
disease, and He could still hear my murmur…
Ten days later, I returned to the same building
to have my Heart monitor installed. For which was another new experience for
Mwah! And after having my chest shaved by a Female Nurse. When applying the
monitor with it’s two adhesive strips directly above my Heart.
She said out loud I’m going to send the
instruction booklet home with you, before looking at me and my white cane and
wondering out loud if I could read it?
And as I’ve said above, I cannot read written
material on my own. I am able to scan printed text into my computer and have it
converted into OCR format. Optical Character Recognition which my Gal’ “Zoey the
Princess Warrior!” My current Zoomtext Fusion Screen Reader voice can read to
She said She’d just go over the booklet’s main “Talking
Points” verbally with me instead. To which I said, even if I wasn’t Blind. I’m
Colour blind, so I have zero clue how I’d discern whether or not the monitor’s
light was steady green or blinking orange, even if I could see it?
To which she replied, and I kid Yuhs not! She
sardonically told me that was above Her pay grade, She’s just the installer and
I should call the booklet’s 1-888 phone number…
Then I asked Her my one silly question before being
released. Telling Her how a one certain precocious Hoond known fondly as Hang
10’ Hilo likes to lay sitting upright fully reclined against my chest and sleep
in this position! Resting against my chest, I wanted to know if the Heart
monitor would be picking up double Heart beats? Since I can hear Hilo’s heart
beat when He lays against me like this. To which She assured me that the Heart
monitor would only pick-up my Heart beat.
The other silly thing about wearing said Heart
monitor for 14-days is that yes, you can take showers whilst wearing it. But
you may do so only with the water on your backside, since obviously the monitor
cannot get wet.
Being Blind, this was simply a recipe for
Disaster! Like I can “See” where the water’s hitting me Sister!
And “So It goes”. Although I’ll never know, and have long since stopped trying to guess what triggered my two extensive, elongated Heart palpitation episodes five days apart. Suffice it to say. I believe without having gotten wound-up trying to finish those five blog stories and having “triggered” these two episodes. I’d never have known that I had a serious Heart condition!