Wednesday, May 4, 2016

R100: Getting Down to Brass Tacks for this year's Indy 500 Race - The Last Row


1996 Indy 500 winner Buddy Lazier poses with Tomaso at the Flagroom in Speedway, Indiana. (The Tomaso Collection)


Alas, due to Thy S-L-O-W typing and trying to Poond' out too many riveting stories here in Nofendersville in preparation for Playin Hooky whilst attending this year's race. I've been left waiting breathlessly since mid-April over who the final two entrants, or is I-T three would be? Which hopefully would be known sooner or later...

As I know Starship HC's (Hulman & Co.) are intending to capitalize upon thou PR Bonanza afforded to them during this year's run-up to Thy Magnanimous 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 but seriously? As of Tax Day, i.e.; April 15th we were still publicly stuck at 31 entries, albeit now knowing that Bobby Rahal, Dave  Letterman and Mike Lanigan had cut a deal with Theodore Racing...

The Final Contestants...
Thy venerable Curmudgeon of Indy Cars, 'Ol 'R, aka Robin Miller reported that Townsend Bell was close to being announced as "Double A's" 5th-wheel on March 28th, for which Andretti Autosport dually confirmed on April Fool's Day!

Miller also mentioned there were seats available at SPM and possibly with KVSH Racing and DCR? While Buddy Lazier lurked in the background...

Andretti Autosport
Engine: Honda
#29) Townsend Bell: USA

News broke somewhat appropriately on April 1st, Ha-ha! That Townsend Bell, would compete in his tenth consecutive 500, this time driving for Michael Andretti in their fifth, and presumably final entry for this year's I500, bringing the tally of entries to an eye-popping 31...

As it's funny how I can still see Townsend hurtlin' that Dayglo orangish Visteon Patrick Racing IndyCar round Portland International  Raceway, most memorably whilst pummelin' the curves at the East End chicanery just before coming onto the Straightaway; but I digress!

Although I tend to believe this  2002 race at  Portland is also where Townsend notched his highest CART finish with a fine fourth place before somebody named Jimmy Vasser subsequently took over his Patrick Racing ride...

But Townsend's done ok for himself, although never truly getting a proper chance in CART after being the final original Firestone Indy Lights champion in '01, along with a short lived single season of International F3000 in Europe in 2003 before reverting over to Thy Dark Side, nee Indy Racing League beginning in '04.

Yet Bell's been enjoying racing Ferrari's and Lambos' in IMSA competition lately, having won the 2014 North American Endurance Cup GTD class along with last year's GTD (Daytona) Weathertech Sports Car championship category.

The Heat is On!
Now somewheres' on Thy Web, or more likely from Curty Cavin's lips via Thy Indianapolis Star... I swear I heard that the entry deadline for this year's Magnanimous 100th running of the Indy 500 was April 11th, which came 'N went with the running of that Long Beach Snoozefest - Which Simon Pagenaud spiced up with his Formula D' four-wheel Drift to victory!

Thus according to Racer's Marshall Pruett,  following Long Beach, which like A-L-L thingys' motor racing is totally fluid... IndyCar was still awaiting the final three contestants, with apparently Buddy Lazier's ride being in question? With Scuttlebutt suggesting due to Thy nebulous funding issues facing many drivers these days...

For which I surely hoped wasn't true when I first heard the news. Since Buddy's truly one of the Good Guys in motor racing and totally deserves to participate in this year's historic 100th running!

With Robin Miller stating at Barber Motorsports Park on Friday that Lazier had indeed filed his entry for the race...


Yet for Mwah, the most interesting tidbit divulged is the wily Dale Coyne's plans to run four cars at  Mother Speedway; Huh?  Whilst surely Sam Schmidt will be coaxed into running a third entry alongside KVSH Racing doing likewise, leaving us just one shy of the vaunted, magical number 33, which in some ways would be most Apropos.

But the "Steaks 'N Shakes" are simply too high, as I dually expect there to be eleven rows of three come race morning, since after all; Uhm, have Yuhs heard? It's Thy 100th Bloody running of the Indianapolis 500 this year; Hooah! And naturally, Starship HC will want to capitalize upon maximizing exposure over this by NOT announcing the full participants list until the Month of May...


As word came at thee Barbers' that Oriel "Suitcase" Servia will be unpacking his bags at SPM for the Month 'O May, where hopefully he'll get to do "The Double" which would give him 200 career IndyCar starts! While Stefan Wilson's tipped to land KVSH Racing's third entry. 

While I'll now speculate that Gabby Chaves in a Hondre' will be the final entry in a Bryan Herta "loaned" Dallara chassis with Michael Shank Racing providing the crew. As S-Squared, aka Sebastian Saavedra with longtime backer Gary Peterson, AFS owner and Dale Coyne Racing's Luca Filippi being the Odd Men out this year...

"Ladies & Gentlemen, Start your In-juns!"



(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)