Friday, September 5, 2014

F1: Mirror-Mirror On the Wall, Who's the Fairest Red Bull Driver?



Otay, so once again I'm 'Uber late to thee party with this rant, especially since I first thought about this 'Wayback in April, specifically during the Chinese GP weekend, for which all I can say is that apparently it got Shanghaied by that nebulous No Fenders Wormhole Vortex, eh? Hooah!

Since after all, the story's title is somewhat misleading, because as we all know, Red Bull's not the fairest F1 car in the Paddock this year, instead those honours go to the Silver Arrows, whose W05-Hybrid has simply crushed the opposition this season, only failing to win upon two incidences during the season's first eleven races!

As I've briefly tried running down the eleven Formula 1 Constructors performances during the first portion of the season up to this year's summer break - with the team's having been listed in order of Constructor's points after Hungary...

(1) Mercedes
Engine: Mercedes Benz 
Points: 393

(Car #/Driver/Country/Points)
6. Nico Rosberg; Germany: 202-points (7-Poles; 4-Wins)
44. Lewis Hamilton; Grate Britain: 191 (3-Poles; 5-Wins)

Races  : Rounds 1-11
Rosberg) 3/1; 3/2; 1/2; 1/2; 2/2; 1/1; 1/2; 3/1; 1/R; 1/1; 1/4.
Hamilton) 1/R; 1/1; 2/1; 2/1; 1/1; 2/2; 2/R; 9/2; 6/1; 16/3; 21#/3.

Head-to-Head
Qualifying = Rosberg:  8-3
Race = Hamilton: 6-5

This has been the team to beat this year, as its 'Uber refreshing to see somebody else leading the parade  after Red Bull's dominant run the past four years.

As obviously the W05-Hybrid is the  car to have, as not even the removal of its trick, controversial FRIC suspension slowed down the magnificent Silver Arrows, while I've found the intra-squad scrum between 'Brittany (Nico Rosberg) and thy "Young Louise" (Hamilton) most intriguing, since while Hamilton  wears his heart upon his sleeve and is prone to profound mood swings when not getting his way, I've thoroughly enjoyed Rosberg's continuous buckling down 'N fighting back  to repeatedly deflate Lewis's balloon! And if Y'all been following along, then Yuhs know I'm rootin' for Nico to be crowned world champion this year...


GO NICO!

(2) RED BULL
Engine: Renault
Points: 219

Drivers
#1) Sebastian Vettel; Germany: 88
3. Daniel Ricciardo; Australia: 131 (2-Wins)

Races  : Rounds 1-11
Ricciardo) 2/DSQ*; 5/R; 3/4; 2/4; 3/3; 3/3; 6/1; 5/8; 8/3; 5/6; 4/1.
Vettel)       13/R; 2/3; 11/6; 3/5; 10/4; 4/R; 3/3; 13/R; 2/5; 6/4; 2/7.
(* = Illegal Fuel Flow)

Head-to-Head
Qualifying = Ricciardo 6-5.
Race = Ricciardo 9-2.

Cannot say how 'Uber refreshing I found I-T to witness "TWINKIEBOY" (Seb' Vettel) getting his ARSE SPANKED by junior Red Bull team-mate Daniel Ricciardo at Shanghai, when I first recall the young 'Aussie clearly throwing down upon his Quadruple World Champion team-mate! With his home race outing being nothing to sneeze at either...

As I'd have to say that Ricciardo of the "B-I-G BULLS" is one of this season's revelations driver-wise, as only Williams Valtteri Bottas ranks in this category, while many might argue that Ricciardo is the best newcomer to the top step this year, first having broken his Podium Duck' at Barcelona and next time out in Monaco, then scoring his debutant Grand Prix victory on Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in a thriller, before repeating the feat at what definitely wasn't the Hunga-boring this year, again taking the lead with 3-laps remaining in Hungary en route to his second F1 victory!

Meanwhile Seb' Vettel seems somewhat invisible this season, and certainly a non-factor, having struggled with reliability issues whilst being thoroughly outshone by his  'Oz  team-mate. As I don't know 'bout Y'all; BUTT! I'm growing really tired of A-L-L the excuses over why Vettel's getting his ARSE handed to him by 'Ricky Ricciardo; as you go Boy! As may be Christian Horner should give Seb' a 'bwankie, eh? Or better yet, give thy Emperor some new clothes; Hya!

Vettel tired after dominant run in F1says Horner


(3) FERRARI
Engine: Ferrari
Points: 142

Drivers
7. Kimi Raikkonen; Finland: 27
14. Fernando Alonso; Spain: 115

Races  : Rounds 1-11
Alonso)       5/4; 4/4; 10/9; 5/3; 7/6; 5/4; 7/6; 4/5; 19/6; 7/5; 5/2.
Raikkonen) 12/7; 6/12; 6/10; 11/8; 6/7; 6/12; 10/10; 8/10; 20/R; 12/11; 17/6.

Head-to-Head
Qualifying = Alonso 9-2.
Race = Alonso 11-0.

Is anybody really surprised that "Fredrico Suave" (Fernando Alonso) is thoroughly dominating thee 'Kimster upon Kimi Raikkonen's return to the Prancing Horse, since after all how many years has Alonso been at Maranello now molding the team to his liking. After all, isn't that partially the reason  his misconstrued 'Wingman Felipe Massa was shown the door?

NO! For Mwah, the surprise of the season so far was Stefano Domenicali's sudden, shock "Resignation," reputedly having something to do with the red cars getting overtaken repeatedly by lesser teams, i.e.; Force India and Marussia! With Domenicali being replaced by relative unknown Marco Mattiacci, the chief of Ferrari North America's car concern...

Stefano Domenicali resigns as Ferrari'sF1 chief over poor results

 

As basically, like le 'Reggie, (Renault) la Scuderia's problemas seem largely due to its lack of grunt vs. the all mighty 'Merc's this year! As James Allison was highly touted for his  masterful chassis work when at Lotus, leading to Raikkonen winning twice before bringing his Oomphlats back to Maranello, as Mattiacci has since enticed la Scuderia engine; Err PU (Power Unit) boss Luca Marmorini to also leave the fold, with Scuttlebutt suggesting Marmorini may now be headed to Renault?


Meanwhile Alonso continues ringing the Buh-Jesus outta this year's underperforming F14T and without him  Ferrari wouldn't be tenuously holding onto third place in the Constructors battle; yet instead Ferrari Chief Luca di Montezemolo continues prattling on as the  second loudest BLOWHARD in Formula 1 behind his cronie Uncle Bernaughty, previously having announced his intentions to help save F1; YIKES! While now trying to hold  onto his top Gunslinger...


(4) WILLIAMS
Engine: Mercedes Benz 
Points: 135

Drivers
19. Felipe Massa;, Brazil  40  
77. Valtteri Bottas; Finland: 95

Races  : Rounds 1-11
Bottas) 10/5; 15/8;  4/8; 7/7;  4/5;   13/R; 4/7;  2/3;  17/2; 2/2; 3/8.
Massa)  9/R;  13/7; 8/7; 6/15; 9/13; 16/7; 5/12; 1/4; 18/R; 3/R; 6/5.

Head-to-Head
Qualifying = Bottas 7-4.
Race = Bottas 7-4.

What can I say about Team 'Willy, other than what a Gynormous difference a year makes, along with serious upgrading of the Technical Department, and the jettisoning of a crash-prone Venezuelan driver...

Thus, with Rob Smedley and Felipe Massa coming over from Scuderia Ferrari the team's fortunes have vastly improved, although it doesn't hurt having a supply of the grid's most powerful Power Units in the back of your chassis either, having fortuitously dropped its Renault 'lumps in favour of Mercedes Benz this year, and Wallah! From ninth to fourth so far in this year's Constructors title fight, having even usurped Ferrari for third briefly!

And I haven't even talked about the Finnish Phenom Valtteri Bottas yet, having not only scored his  debutant Formula 1 podium, but then scoring a Hat trick, the first driver to do so for Williams in many, many, years.

Thus, if Massa can knock off his poor finishing results, albeit some having been team inflicted, and Bottas continues his podium dance, Williams should potentially beat Ferrari to third in this year's Constructors fight, which would be most impressive indeed!

As how sweet would it be for Massa to utter the words: Luca, Team Willy finished Ahead of You; Can you confirm please!

Massa wants Williams to beat old teamFerrari


As what's that 'Ol saying about revenge being a dish best served piping hot; Oh Never Mind, Hooah!

GO WILLIAMS!

DISCLAIMER
No Fenders is NOT responsible for ANY Statistical Anomalies/Mistakes, albeit I've compiled the following information by painstakingly reviewing each 'N every Qualifying & Race Results to the best of my ability...

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