Tuesday, October 16, 2012

’Dannyboy - We Miss Yuhs!

Dapper Dan strutting on the Red Carpet in full victory mode prior to the 2011 Indy 500 victory banquet at the J.W. Marriott hotel in downtown Indianapolis... (DOB)
Having read/listen to Curt Cavin’s  great story about Holly Wheldon’s  elite support group late Saturday evening, it made me realize how trivial, albeit annoying my upstairs blaring musak was... As unfortunately today marks the one year anniversary of the totally unnecessary and utterly useless death of Dan Wheldon.

And as I’ve said before, although I obviously didn’t know him, I’m very happy to have witnessed a very tiny bit of the Wheldon charm, not only at the racetrack when taking that improvable win over J.R. Hildebrand, as I still swear I saw sparks that day trailing down the front straightway... But even better yet, his willingness to interact with the fans the evening after at the victory banquet.


Thus for obvious reasons, I dually wished to see Dannyboy ‘SPIKE Wheldon’s 2011 Indy 500 winning racecar when last visiting the IMS Hall of Fame museum. As I’m still slightly annoyed that we weren’t handed any of the cool DW white cardboard shades last May, as it certainly was HOT ‘nuff outside to warrant them; Hya!

And I feel very sorry for all of the Wheldon’s,
But most of all for his two sons who’ll grow up without a Dad! As I’m looking forward to raising a glass of Guinness today in salute to the late, great Dan Wheldon...



(Photos Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)

F1 moves to the Peacock...

By now you’ve probably heard that Formula 1 will move to NBCSN, aka Peacock lite beginning next year, in a deal for four years - in hopes of bolstering the cable networks TV viewership. I just hope that the entire SPEED crew moves over to NBCSN, and they do NOT butcher any of its current format, including F1 Debrief! And where will GP2 go?

The Story that just keeps On Giving - while the Other Shoe Drops!

So I got thee Call Friday afternoon from ‘CARPETS informing me that ‘Ol ‘R was gonna be on the Tom & Bob, NO! Scratch that, thee Mike & Ike Show; Err Query & Schultz Show which I’d never heard of before at the top of the 5’O-clock hour Indy time, which he claimed was 2PM Pacific time; Hya!

Rumour has I-T ‘Dat they’re gonna talk ‘bout Tony George’s attempt to purchase IndyCarz; ‘LOL! Is that supposed to be uh new rumour I retorted.

Thus, I actually went 'N found 1260 WNDE Indianapolis's website, saved I-T to my bookmarks & then sat 'round a half-hour just to listen to IndyCar Curmudgeon Robin Miller gab w/Jake "Riddle me This" Query & Ed "Sgt" Schultz, albeit they stretched the interview out ‘til 2:32PM Pacific and hence, I got to listen to some riveting banter ‘bout Pacers B-ball ‘N Marymount/Marion? College Football; URGH!

And although I’ve been loathe to scribble ANYTHING ‘bout I-T! I don’t know ‘bout Y’all but I cannot even begin to explain how tired, bored & ANNOYED! I’m getting over this extremely MORONIC, RIDICULOUS & INSANE STUPIDITY over thy possibility of ‘lil Napoleon; YIKES! Haven’t used that ‘Juan in a zillion years; what I used to call “Ronnie” (TG) George back in duh era of Thee Split; YIKES!

As really; ‘TG & Drinkin' buddy Zackary Brown are gonna buy IndyCar, along with Kevin “Smiley Face” Kalkoven? What utter and complete NONSENSE! I mean, who in thee HELL is the Golden Goose laying this egg? Err TURD! As will somebody break out thy plunger and shove it down the ‘CRAPPER where I-T belongs; as it seems like a dead Goldfish that simply WON’T GO AWAY NO matter how many times  you flush the toilet...  

 And I really wonder why Mother Mary let her boy Anton back onto the IMS Board for? As one good thingy I've heard Kevin Lee say lately is; there's those of us who'll say Tony had 15-years to run the IRL & look what he did! Basically outspent CART/Chump Carz, eh? As his only saving grace is IMS, as I’d guess it’d be akin to some rival Taxi Cab series trying to crush the 800lb Gorillia without owning Day-Toner, right? And let’s NOT forget what a stellar job Messer Kalkoven
 and his Mouseketeers did with CCWS!


So why in thee HELL! Would Hulman & Co wanna go down this road again? I mean how’s it worked out for the France’s owning NASCAR instead of Outsourcing it to another party? As I DON'T think this is the type of publicity we need! As I never thought I'd say this in a million years; BUTT!  Why doesn’t Mr. Jeffery “the Walrus” Belskus just come out publicly and totally debunk this whole IDIOTIC scheme by hosting a press conference categorily stating the Indy Car Series is still NOT for sale and we’ve given Randy "The CandyMann" Bernard a contract extension... So go PISS in a lake ‘TG! (My sediments, NOT Mr. Belskus’s!)


Then there was an awkward pause by thee ‘Riddler, as Miller  gave him his full opinion upon the IMS Radio Networks Front man & ‘Somme-thun ‘bout Sunday School Choirs; CRIKEYS!

And although I’m NOT a fan of Query’s, he did at least ask one good questione; inquiring what’s going on with the SPEED/FOX SPORTS ARSE-simulation?

As robin began bantering on ‘bout this, I thought I heard him mumble something 'bout NBC getting the F1 broadcasts? SHEISA! As I’d gotten my first whiff of ‘Somme-thun STINKY going on with duh FOX in the Hen-house when hearing about the MLB contract renegotiations; so I skedaddled over to thee Dean ‘O Indy Car Bloggers after Miller’s interview - where I found more substance upon the story over at the “DAWG’s chalet, where Uncle Pressdog scribbled ‘bout NBCSN in the running for the Formula 1 broadcast rights in his Fireside Chat, as thank goodness I wasn’t consuming any beverages, which might have been spewed! Read I-T here, as ‘Ol Billy would say...

Thus I fired off an email to Miller asking: Who can we write to explain to NOT FUCK UP SPEED!

As the ONLY reason I've continued paying comca$t an exorbitant amount of money yearly is for the ability to have access to SPEED & NBCSN and SIGH! ABC in order to watch motor racing, as I do NOT give a flying F%%K 'bout Stick 'N Ball sports! I know, call me CRAZY, but that’s just how I roll here at No Fenders, really gotta S-T-O-P this ‘Dawgstah style, and what’s ALL this mumbo jumbo over Gangsta; Err Gang man style - Varsha’s clever tie-in to the Korean GP, which surely the next episode of F1 Debrief will feature ‘Wee Willie Buxom doing?

Thus in the  middle of the night, I read the definitive answer upon The Buxton Blog, where Mr. Buxton gave me the BAD news in indelible print; Err type written characters...


And then Varsha confirmed it too Friday night during the Korean GP ‘Qualie show, albeit I taped it instead of staying up late, or so I thought and hence watched it & heard the news Saturday morning...  

Yet it seems like apparently the ONLY thingy that another O-L-D White man named “Rubarb Murdick” truly cares about is his pocketbook & trying to increase his income before getting to duh ‘Purly gates... Uhm, note to Murdick, I DON’T believe Yuhs can take I-T with Yuhs!

Yet apparently ‘Ol Rupert Murdoch AIN’T even remotely concerned over alienating ALL of us racing fans! As long as Y’all gotz yours ‘RASSCAR, right? While I’ve heard speculation about moving portions of the SPEED programming onto FUEL TV; CRAP! Uh, gee Wally, guess what? FUEL TV isn't available in Seattle, as I fear having to go thru the whole EXCRUCIATING PAIN IN THEE ARSE scenario I experienced just in order to get SPEED all those years ago!

And it’s kinda funny that  SPEED's pushin’ speed2-dot-com right now as the FUTURE 'O Motorsports... Uhm? Where'd it go; Chirp Chirp!

Meanwhile, I DON’T think NBC Sports Network will ever pull its ratings UP by continuing to run the Indy Cars 'qualie show in its current abbreviated cut & paste variety show format vs. the good 'Ol dazes of SPEED's truly LIVE qualifying shows w/Bob Varsha; Yuhs know when they aired the whole Freaking ‘Qualie session! Which may be one way to get around the STUPIDITY of giving away Network Broadcast rights for 10yrs!

And speakin’ of Bob Varsha, where will he go? As I truly look forward to every single minute of Varsha, ‘Hobbo & Professor Matchett’s SUPERB F1 Practice, Qualifying & Race calls! Not to mention F1 Debrief and GP2...

I also enjoy the soothing tones of Leigh Diffey, Calvin Fish & Dorsey Schroder who I think are another superb trio of broadcasters - not to mention the respective Pit Reporters Brian Till, Chris Neville & Justin Bell. As where in thee HELL will I go for my 24 Heurs du Mans fix? As I’m still not overly enamoured by the Grand Am’s Ugly Duckling Daytona Prototypes, which makes watching it sometimes hard to follow, but was hoping the new merged series would end up on SPEED, with the aforementioned trio calling I-T!

And then there’s Moto GP which I try watching whenever  possible and enjoy Greg Kramer’s narrative; “Hi All;” not to mention my other most enjoyable tag-team ‘BoothBoyz; NO! NOT Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip and the PickemUp gang but Jonathan Green & Steve Martin calling the World Superbikes action...

And this is even before we get to the speed.com website, which I utilize as Juan ‘O my bastions of breaking motorsports news, as I especially enjoy Robin Miller’s rantings and Marshall Pruett’s insights, along with John Davies Sports Cars expertise. And would really like to figure out how to find Steve Matchett and Peter Windsor’s respective columns on the F1 Tab, but cannot see the FRILLIN’ colour scheme there...

And lastly, but certainly NOT least of all, where will I go to listen to Ye ‘Ol Windbag huff ‘N puff weekly upon Wind Tunnel? As I’ve been a H-U-G-E FAN of Dave Despain’s ever since the  TV show started a zillion years ago; you know when the bulk of the show was him taking phone calls... And I’ve even somewhat gotten accustomed to Double A’s (Adam Alexander) ‘twang on Speed Centre. Hey! I go there to get the latest Robin Miller scoop upon the Indy Cars. Not to mention all of the wonderful people behind the scenes that make ALL of this happen!

Thus, I sincerely hope that whatever happens, I’ll still be able to get FULL ACCESS to A-L-L of these programs, as I surely will NOT be tunin’ into “Fox Sports-1” to watch ANY Flippin baseball...

STEEEEEE-RIKE!!! YOU’RE OUT FOX!   

Friday, October 12, 2012

102 and still Running Strong!


Margaret Dunning of Plymouth is a generation older than her 1930 Packard 740. Photo by Mike Cardew / Akron Beacon Journal. ) Source: detroitnews.com)
And that AIN’T 102 Octane I’m talking ‘bout either...

Having stopped ‘N looked at that Packard limousine at America’s Car Museum gave me cause to banter on ‘bout this crazy O-L-D woman; who I’ve read about before as she seems not only quite popular, but also making the rounds at many classic car shows too...


And I don’t know why the word Octogenarian has been stuck in my head lately whilst thinking ‘bout her, especially since I do know my el spanol numeros up to Ocho; BUTT! When telling the story to Mary Ellen; I’m most certain that if I’d bantered on ‘bout this Octogenarian driver who’s 102-years old; CRIKEYS! Surely Mary Ellen would have shot back you Moron; Hya! You must mean Centenarian Tomaso, since Octogenarian’s are 80-year olds...

So just who am I talking about, eh? ‘Whale as I mentioned above, she’s 102-years old and still drives her fleet of classic cars. Not only that but, she changes her own oil & spark plugs too! Her name is Margaret Dunning who resides in Plymouth, Michigan, a life long ‘Michigonian and her pride ‘N joy is her vintage 1930 Packard model 740 Roadster, which the CAR is an Octogenarian, not the driver; Hya!

Her car is 82. She's 102. Both still going strong

And while searching for more details upon Margaret’s other classic cars, which I think I read about her first in the New York Times, I stumbled upon the fact that this Centenarian Trailblazer has just landed herself a surprise full scholarship to complete her business degree at the University of Michigan some 94-years after last attending college!

AUTOS: Back to America’s Car Museum - Tres visit...

Doug LeMay, son of the late Harold LeMay, backs the family's treasured 1948 Tucker into the new LeMay-America's Car Museum in Tacoma, Washington. Dean J. Koepfler / TNT Staff photographer. (Source: tacomanewstribune.com)
Yeah, I know I’m harpin’ on ‘bout my good fortunes; BUTT! Thanxs to mize trusty ‘Ol Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen, I once again got to go to what’s fast becoming my favourite Pacific Northwest haunt; thee LeMay-America’s Car Museum in sleepy ‘lil Tacoma, Washington, which I believe somebody was born there  under a bad, bad sign? And NOPE! NOT Mr. Hospenthal, as in Duh-duh-Danica’s significant other; Hey, check out where Paul Hospenthal’s from, eh? But instead some dude named Robert Cray, who I think has some Lakewood, WA connection via a ‘lil known band named Steepface, which his song “Back Door slam” makes me always think of Tacoma; but I digress...

Thus, I was down south in ‘TacomaLand once again and found myself gracing the ACM on a bright, sunny Columbus Day, which fortunately thee museum wasn’t closed upon this holiday... As the very first car inside the museo’s door was a 1-of-1 Roadster, a 1947 Kurtis Omohundro Special, which traveled the furthest for the just completed Kirkland Concours de Elegance, which was previously hosted at Maydenbayer Centre in downtown Kirkland, WA... Having traveled all the way from Tampa, Florida and presumably on loan; but as Mary Ellen’s getting tired of hearing; how do we get to the Indy Cars? Which are currently known as the SpeedZone exhibit...


As interestingly, thy IndyCarz had been rotated both location wise; side of wall and pointing opposite direction, with the Lotus 56 alone on the L/H side at top of ramp - looking somewherez between an overly pale yellow or eggshell white; SHIT! I hate my FUCKED-UP “Jellybean” vision... As I mentally know what Dayglow orange should look like, but it simply wasn’t happening once again for Mwah, due to the museum’s lighting; SHEISA!

And the rest of the other eight Indy Cars were scrambled order wise, although the other cars were much more visible/easier to view for Mwah on the R/H side wall facing north. As the J.C. AgajanianGrant Piston Ring Special actually didn’t look half bad this time...

Also discovered that the ’59 Roger Ward Leader Cards special is owned by Brad & Buzz Calkins thanxs solely to my personal guide Mary Ellen; as I was totally unawares that Buzz Calkins, whom I did a poor job  of explaining to Mary Ellen was a Indy Racing League driver - had a brother, as I wunder what Buzz is up to these dazes?

And I finally Got the number for the High Speed Miller Spl which was overly visible this time w/giant #16’s both on front cowl and tail section, as I’d managed to leave it out of my notes during my first two visits; as Mary Ellen very briefly read the cars history, as I think she said it ran in ten Indy 500’s?


Purposely spent very little time droolin’ over the Indy Cars; except for the AWESOME Gulf-Miller, although Mary Ellen sez her favourite is the 1964 Hurst Floor Shift Special with some sorta funky chrome? Metallic outstretched palms/hands thing-uh-majigee’s sticking out from its front bumpers...

Thus we went off towards some new unseen vehicles - walking past a row of limousines; one being an early 1930’s Packard complete w/large whitewall tyres, including the spare; rising glass partition(?) between driver/occupants.

At the top of this row sat the piece de la resistance, the museo’s 1948 Tucker, no. 7-of-51 produced. Having read previously how this was the one car that Harold LeMay always coveted but was unwilling to purchase,  as he enjoyed getting his automobiles on the CHEAP! (NOT to be ‘Cornfuzed with ‘Cheep Ganassi; Hya!) As after his death, his widow purchase the one vehicle her late husband had always wanted...

Alongside was a cherry red Dusenberg which I totally missed whilst  circulating upon my own - since I couldn’t see its colour at all, may be a plum or rose colour towards top of body/window belt? AIN’T it GURR-REAT being colour-blind on top of being visually impaired too? SHEISA!

Then as we meandered along and I heard the sounds of a dog’s leash behind Mwah; hey, blind people have Super-powers, uze know? Hur-hur-hur! A woman in a wheelchair with a service dog introduced herself to us, asking me how my guide was trained in Descriptive Services? Huh? I’ve never heard of that term before.

Yet what are the odds of two legally blind people meeting at a car museum? As I think her name was Christine? As she told us she had 20/1600 vision and expected to be totally blind by age 50; URGH! Having been born cross-eyed, had had surgery to correct this and now was losing her vision, on top of having “CP,” Cerebral Palsy. She was 42, a lawyer stationed in Seattle representing disabled Canadians who get in trouble and on holiday w/her husband and son who has Autism.

We walked back to the Tucker with her slowly and she asked me if she could tell me what colour it was? Sure, informing me the Tucker was azure blue, as her husband told us it was the first vehicle with both turn signals & seatbelts before we bid our adieus’...

Then further along the centre aisle there was what appeared to look to me like the original SUV, a very boxy, upright looking Futuristic 88 woody station wagon which I’d never heard of; 1-of-2,600 examples produced.

Further along was an immensely large, long stretch ‘O automobile called a 1953 Kaiser Dragon, replete with some sorta bamboo weave canvas type top and matching upholstered dashboard, with some sort of luxurious leather seats - the car’s designers having polled women over what type of amenities they’d desire in a modern automobile and hence these offbeat adornments...

As we headed towards the exit/entry doors, a fleet of antiques greeted us; a 1906 Ford Model N, a speedster shaped vehicle w/boatail, reportedly the precursor to the Model T. A REO the Fifth! (ST5) Having to boast my trivial knowledge of this was where the REO in R.E.O. Speedwagon comes from... As the initials stand for Ransom E. Olds, Y’all know, that Grand-pappy of your father’s Oldsmobile.

There was also a 1913 Somme-thun-ruther, forgot what it was, since I didn’t come equipped to take either notes or pictures... As I think it was whatever had merged with Pontiac in order to become the Pontiac Motor Company; so perhaps it was a Pontiac? If so, then may be it was duh original “Wide-track,” Yuhs know; “Wider is better!” (Right?) As I don’t know why that stupid slogan from a long ago Pontiac Grand Prix commercial sticks in my cranium...

Yet Mary Ellen was more impressed by the Packard that had been found in Eastern WA seeing duty as an apple truck before being rescued. Thought she said something ‘bout the restoration being aided by Bill Harrah in the mid/late 1950’s, as in the ‘Juan, thee only Bill Harrah of thee Harrah’s empire in “Sin City,” Las Vegas, albeit when I think of Harrah’s I think Reno, Nevada instead... After all that’s where the great National Automobile car museum resides with many automobiles from the Harrah’s collection; but I digress...

As Mary Ellen read on about how afterwards, the LeMay’s new acquisition was taken upon a 9,600 mile coast-to-coast road trip with a decal being affixed to the Packard’s lower portion of the split front windshield, as there musta been 20+ stickers of different states driven thru upon it...

Out in the lobby was an Edsel Ford roadster special, very Spartan, w/zero ‘Bling, not even a hood ornament, etc, w/just a few small gauges upon the no-nonsense dashboard...

Then a 1904 F.I.A.T sat on display nearest the glass entryway/lobby; 1 of 20 produced and the only one left remaining known in existence. Featuring a 116-inch wheelbase; just shy of 10-feet long - which doesn’t include overall length... As this antique came originally with a four cylinder engine which was later replaced with a six cylinder which produced five additional horsepower; CRIKEYS! As ironically Mary Ellen discovered the very same car as the Tacoma Weekly’s Car of the Week in a paper copy at the TacomaDome bus station as I awaited my motor coach to take me home...

Oh yeah, before we got to the Edsel and F.I.A.T. and prior to the Centenarian’s... There was a small gathering of early ‘70’s muscle cars including an early ‘70’s Buick Riviera as we swept back to view a red 64 ½(?) Mustang, which was introduced on April 13, 1964 at the World’s Fair, as the rest is history as they say... And then Mary Ellen went down memory lane about an old Ford Ranchero she’d once owned, while I think we were gawkin’ at a Galaxie?

As fortunately, Mary Ellen’s now been kind enough to take me to what some vernacular calls simply ACM, nee America’s Car Museum tres times; which I simply cannot get over how FANTASTIC of a museo it is! Or the fact that I’ve now been there three times and still haven’t seen the whole damn place yet! Not to mention they seem to constantly be adding vehicles, along with re-arranging the exhibits...

Thursday, October 11, 2012

De Villota speaks about her accident...

Maria de Villota - ex-Marussia F1test driver, 2012. (Source: richardsf1.com)
Spanish female F1 hopeful Maria de Villota has finally spoken about her horrendous testing accident,  in which the 32-year old Spaniard was severely injured during her maiden Formula 1 test when performing straight-line aero testing work for Marussia F1 at Duxford Airfield this past July. Maria is now apparently sporting an eye-patch over her lost right eye while trying to refocus her life after her stillborn Formula 1 career...

F1: Suzuka 2012 Highlights

Otay, I just finally wrapped-up watchin’ the Memorex yesterday - which funny enough I cringed once again when SPEED had technical difficulties with its broadcast late in the race thinking OH SHIT! Here goes my vintage Panasonic VCR once again... WHEW!

Thus although this is Juan ‘O my favourite racetracks - and the action ontrack was fairly good overall, most notably rejoicing over ‘Fredrico Suave’s L1 demise, nevertheless I found the race somewhat dull, albeit I found myself gripped, crossing fingers and chanting DON’T YOU LET HIM PAST KOBAYASHI! As I like ‘JENSE; BUTT! Simply wished to see ‘K-Squared (Kamui Kobayashi) claim a most memorable & deserving podium at Suzuka instead... After all, it would be Kamui’s debutant podium and only third time ever for a Japanese driver in the history of Formula 1; previously being achieved by Aguri Suzuki and some IndyCar dude known here at No Fenders as ‘Taku-san, nee Takuma Sato...

I was also extremely pleased for Felipe Massa’s sake to see him snap la Scuderia’s driver non-podium streak at 35-races, as it seemed somewhat funny, albeit ironic to have an ex-Ferrari Grand Primo Piloto interviewing a current  ‘Juan on the Suzuka podium... After last having seen Alesi doggedly trying to drag his recalcitrant Lotus; Err ‘Luddi-lump around the Speedway this May...

As surely the drive of the race has to go to Kobayashi, although the race weekend was entirely dominated by Master Zebb, as it appears to Mwah the world championship title wave has surged into Sebastian Vettel’s favour, as the German is now just a scant 4-points adrift of Fernando Alonso with five races remaining, next up being this weekend’s Korean GP, which I seem to recall the Red Bull’s have been ‘Uber competitive at previously; while hopefully Massa’s and Kamui’s performances will be enough to secure their futures in F1 next year at their respective employers...

Stats