Otay, so I probably should QUIT professing my lack ‘O Technical “Know-how, eh?” Yet, for some reason I just decided to try finding the Speed Freaks radio broadcast via the internets… After I’d accidentally discovered this while in Arizona and wallah! I found it, eureka!
So, even though I missed the first hour of the “Best Of” Holidazes re-broadcast, I still enjoyed listening to the second hour of the show. (MINUS the massive deluge ‘O commercials!)
And they did a montage of previous segments, with all of the members: Kenny Sergeant, Crash Gladys, Lug-Nuts and Stat Man talking to various racing personalities.
My favourite segment was when they talked to “Woody” who was quite confused when Lug-Nuts asked him if the rumour was true about Mikey “Squeaky Clean” Waltrip defecting to Open Wheel… WHAT??? Is that really true, Woody asked.
This was after a segment with Kirk Cabin of Indystar.com, who thru out the suggestion that it was more than “Co-inkydince” that “The Cheepster” (Chip Ganassi) had two international Open Wheel stars in his RASSCAR stable. As they’re both helping Tin Tops saturate foreign markets and Messer Helton & Co. had potentially cut a deal with Chip, giving him a percentage of the TV rights.
And adding further insult to injury was the comment that Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti is way MORE popular in Europe than Dan “Spike” Wheldon…
There was also an interview with Dancing with the FOOLS champ-peon Helioe… Who says he’s still committed to Indy Car, but never say never to a potential switch to CUP. Can you say 2009?
Also for good measure was a quick sound bite clip of an interview with Elliott Sadler, who’s definitely a nice guy and a great interviewee. So guess I know what I’ll be doing’ Sunday nights now that Football’s almost OVER! Hmm, seems kinda fitting that Charlie Daniels Devil in the House is playin’ in the background as I scribble ‘bout the Speed Freaks…
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The “Badest BAD Asses”
With the recent passing of Evel Knievel and having listened to a very entertaining interview with the legendary daredevil from 2001 with the Speed Freaks crew, I was inspired to come up with my own version of a survey Evel had been ranked Number two in several years ago.
The survey was published in “MAXXIM” magazine, which I’m told is a gentlemen’s magazine, a softer, kinder, gentler version of Playboy…
(The survey was published in a 1996 Maxim magazine article, picking their Top 50 “BADDEST BAD ASSES” of all time)
So without even trying my list of 10 grew quickly to 20, before “morphing” into 37 names and that was just the first crack at such a list. Therefore I’ve made up the following list of my top 50 BAD ASSES!
My NON-Scientific polling process was fairly simple, they had to have been racers and exude some sort of the following: Personality, COOL Nickname, blazing Speed, outright success or all of the above…
BAD ASSES (26-50)
50. Robby “DirtMann Gordoun”
Although I’ve LOST respect for this racer, He’s definitely one of RASSCAR’s BAD BOYZS! And anyone who competes yearly driving for his own team in the Dakar Rally can’t be all bad, eh?
49. Eddie “Irv the Swerve” Irvine
This flamboyant Irishman always had a barb to throw your way. And made history by getting punched by Ayrton Senna along with making a small fortune driving in F1…
48. ‘Lil Al (Al Unser Jr.)
Although not as famous as his Papa & Uncle Bobby, ‘Lil Al was a force to be reckoned with in his heyday. Unfortunately the spotlight was too great for the famous Unser, whose battle with alcohol and cigarettes led to his eventual downfall…
47. Dick Trickle
Although not amounting to much in RASSCAR, Trickle won a hell of a lot ‘O races in the lower ranks + how can you forget him being caught on in-car camera smoking a cigarette during caution laps!
46. John Force
The un-touchable King of the “Floppers,” (Funny Cars) whose records will most likely never be broken and you gotta love a driver who wears a dirty, stained Nomex driver’s suit, while the only thing to go faster than 300mph is his mouth!
45. Tom "The Mongoose" McEwen
Lesser known than his counterpart “The Snake,” how cool is it to have your own Hot Wheels…
44. Don “The Snake” Prudhomme
Who doesn’t know about “The Snake?” As Prudhomme was one of the most successful Top Fuel driver’s of his era…
43. Kenny Bernstein
Known as “the King” due to his long illustrious sponsorship by Anheiser-Busch, it seemed only fitting to slot him in the “REAL” King’s number. Kenny was the first NHRA driver to win titles in Top Fuel & Funny Cars. “This Bud’s for You, Evel!”
42. Steve Millen
Although perhaps not as well known as his brother Rod, Steve who’s the younger of the “KIWI” Brothers distinguished himself in road racing, most notably with the all conquering Nissan 300ZXT’s. And hey, how much more Bad Ass can you be when you build your own tuner car rocket ship, a.k.a.; The Stillen, an “Amped-up” version of the late model Nissan 300ZX…
41. Rod Millen
Arguably one of the most famous Off Road racing specialist in the world Rod “The Bod” Millen has simply conquered every facet of 4WD racing he’s entered. I mean just look at the Pike’s Peak video clip alone!
40. Bob Bondurant
“Bondo” started out as a Corvette “Hot Schue” before switching over to Shelby Cobra’s and was responsible for capturing America’s only FIA International Sports Car Championship in 1965. Bondurant went on to form his famous school of high performance driving along with producing some of the nastiest Cobra replicar's in existence!
39. Don “Big Daddy” Garlits
Who doesn’t know the name “Big Daddy?” As Don Garlits was the ultimate Top Fuel innovator; C’mon, how cool is it to drive your own rails named Swamp Rat!”
38. Shirley “Cha Cha” Muldowney
Simply picked since she was probably the most prolific female racing pioneer during Evel’s heyday’s
37. Jeremy McGrath
This was Artiste Dave’s (second) suggestion, as McGrath set the motor cross bar extremely high during his career, re-writing the record books before Rickey Carmichael came along…
36. Bob “Hurricane” Hannah
What more can I say, when you’re nickname’s “Hurricane!”
35. Miguel Doohamel
This was Artiste Dave’s suggestion, as Doohamel has truly been a two wheel warrior for countless years. Hopefully he’ll soon return from his recent big crash…
34. Cale Yarbrough
Cale has always been a “Good ‘Ol Boy,” and seems to be cut out of the same mold as “The Alabama Gang” and Junior Johnson. (Whom I suppose should have been on the list, especially with Junior being a notorious Moonshine runner)
But Yarborough always seemed to be looking to pick a fight on track and seemed tough as nails on his way to winning three championships…
33. “The Silver Fox” (David Pearson)
The ultimate tactician, as somehow David Pearson whas always around at the end to collect the checkers on his way to the second most ever victories in RASSCAR! Pearson was never afraid to mix-it up with anybody and I suppose you don’t get a nickname like that without good reason…
32. Ivan “Iron-man” Stewart
My “Blog Meister’s” suggestion, as I’d simply forgot about him. Yet he rightly earned the nickname by his countless exploits in the desert, as I believe he was the very first driver to contest the Ba-Jah solo in a center seat Toyota. Sorry for the snub Ivan…
31. Tom “The Gasman” Sneva
(Sentimental favourite) Originally from Spokane, WA; School principal makes good! He earned his nickname by being the very first to record an official lap of 200mph at the Brickyard. Better yet he commandeered a school bus in Mexico City in order to drive the Champ Car drivers back to their hotel…
30. “El Matador” (Carlos Sainz)
You must be pretty “Bad Ass” if you’re known as “El Matador, eh?” And what is Sainz doing for an encore after retiring from the WRC? Why he’s been contesting the Dakar rally the past few years…
29. Eddie Lawson
Although probably overshadowed by his predecessors Roberts and “Fast Freddy” Spencer, I was always a fan of Lawson’s, as he seemed to have hard nose grit ‘N determination while winning four GP 500 crowns his own way…
28. Kenny Roberts
Kenny was a true “Scooter” pioneer, being the first American to win the GP 500 crown multiple times as well as invent the current day knee dragging style he imported from dirt bike racing…
27. “The Doctor” (Valentino Rossi)
This feisty Italian is the Michael Schumacher of MOTO GP; ‘Nuff said!
26. Sebastian Loeb
While other World Rally Championship drivers may garner more “name” recognition, Loeb has put on a clinic enroute to four successive WRC Driver’s titles…
To continue reading, see; THE BADDEST BAD ASSES (Con't)
The survey was published in “MAXXIM” magazine, which I’m told is a gentlemen’s magazine, a softer, kinder, gentler version of Playboy…
(The survey was published in a 1996 Maxim magazine article, picking their Top 50 “BADDEST BAD ASSES” of all time)
So without even trying my list of 10 grew quickly to 20, before “morphing” into 37 names and that was just the first crack at such a list. Therefore I’ve made up the following list of my top 50 BAD ASSES!
My NON-Scientific polling process was fairly simple, they had to have been racers and exude some sort of the following: Personality, COOL Nickname, blazing Speed, outright success or all of the above…
BAD ASSES (26-50)
50. Robby “DirtMann Gordoun”
Although I’ve LOST respect for this racer, He’s definitely one of RASSCAR’s BAD BOYZS! And anyone who competes yearly driving for his own team in the Dakar Rally can’t be all bad, eh?
49. Eddie “Irv the Swerve” Irvine
This flamboyant Irishman always had a barb to throw your way. And made history by getting punched by Ayrton Senna along with making a small fortune driving in F1…
48. ‘Lil Al (Al Unser Jr.)
Although not as famous as his Papa & Uncle Bobby, ‘Lil Al was a force to be reckoned with in his heyday. Unfortunately the spotlight was too great for the famous Unser, whose battle with alcohol and cigarettes led to his eventual downfall…
47. Dick Trickle
Although not amounting to much in RASSCAR, Trickle won a hell of a lot ‘O races in the lower ranks + how can you forget him being caught on in-car camera smoking a cigarette during caution laps!
46. John Force
The un-touchable King of the “Floppers,” (Funny Cars) whose records will most likely never be broken and you gotta love a driver who wears a dirty, stained Nomex driver’s suit, while the only thing to go faster than 300mph is his mouth!
45. Tom "The Mongoose" McEwen
Lesser known than his counterpart “The Snake,” how cool is it to have your own Hot Wheels…
44. Don “The Snake” Prudhomme
Who doesn’t know about “The Snake?” As Prudhomme was one of the most successful Top Fuel driver’s of his era…
43. Kenny Bernstein
Known as “the King” due to his long illustrious sponsorship by Anheiser-Busch, it seemed only fitting to slot him in the “REAL” King’s number. Kenny was the first NHRA driver to win titles in Top Fuel & Funny Cars. “This Bud’s for You, Evel!”
42. Steve Millen
Although perhaps not as well known as his brother Rod, Steve who’s the younger of the “KIWI” Brothers distinguished himself in road racing, most notably with the all conquering Nissan 300ZXT’s. And hey, how much more Bad Ass can you be when you build your own tuner car rocket ship, a.k.a.; The Stillen, an “Amped-up” version of the late model Nissan 300ZX…
41. Rod Millen
Arguably one of the most famous Off Road racing specialist in the world Rod “The Bod” Millen has simply conquered every facet of 4WD racing he’s entered. I mean just look at the Pike’s Peak video clip alone!
40. Bob Bondurant
“Bondo” started out as a Corvette “Hot Schue” before switching over to Shelby Cobra’s and was responsible for capturing America’s only FIA International Sports Car Championship in 1965. Bondurant went on to form his famous school of high performance driving along with producing some of the nastiest Cobra replicar's in existence!
39. Don “Big Daddy” Garlits
Who doesn’t know the name “Big Daddy?” As Don Garlits was the ultimate Top Fuel innovator; C’mon, how cool is it to drive your own rails named Swamp Rat!”
38. Shirley “Cha Cha” Muldowney
Simply picked since she was probably the most prolific female racing pioneer during Evel’s heyday’s
37. Jeremy McGrath
This was Artiste Dave’s (second) suggestion, as McGrath set the motor cross bar extremely high during his career, re-writing the record books before Rickey Carmichael came along…
36. Bob “Hurricane” Hannah
What more can I say, when you’re nickname’s “Hurricane!”
35. Miguel Doohamel
This was Artiste Dave’s suggestion, as Doohamel has truly been a two wheel warrior for countless years. Hopefully he’ll soon return from his recent big crash…
34. Cale Yarbrough
Cale has always been a “Good ‘Ol Boy,” and seems to be cut out of the same mold as “The Alabama Gang” and Junior Johnson. (Whom I suppose should have been on the list, especially with Junior being a notorious Moonshine runner)
But Yarborough always seemed to be looking to pick a fight on track and seemed tough as nails on his way to winning three championships…
33. “The Silver Fox” (David Pearson)
The ultimate tactician, as somehow David Pearson whas always around at the end to collect the checkers on his way to the second most ever victories in RASSCAR! Pearson was never afraid to mix-it up with anybody and I suppose you don’t get a nickname like that without good reason…
32. Ivan “Iron-man” Stewart
My “Blog Meister’s” suggestion, as I’d simply forgot about him. Yet he rightly earned the nickname by his countless exploits in the desert, as I believe he was the very first driver to contest the Ba-Jah solo in a center seat Toyota. Sorry for the snub Ivan…
31. Tom “The Gasman” Sneva
(Sentimental favourite) Originally from Spokane, WA; School principal makes good! He earned his nickname by being the very first to record an official lap of 200mph at the Brickyard. Better yet he commandeered a school bus in Mexico City in order to drive the Champ Car drivers back to their hotel…
30. “El Matador” (Carlos Sainz)
You must be pretty “Bad Ass” if you’re known as “El Matador, eh?” And what is Sainz doing for an encore after retiring from the WRC? Why he’s been contesting the Dakar rally the past few years…
29. Eddie Lawson
Although probably overshadowed by his predecessors Roberts and “Fast Freddy” Spencer, I was always a fan of Lawson’s, as he seemed to have hard nose grit ‘N determination while winning four GP 500 crowns his own way…
28. Kenny Roberts
Kenny was a true “Scooter” pioneer, being the first American to win the GP 500 crown multiple times as well as invent the current day knee dragging style he imported from dirt bike racing…
27. “The Doctor” (Valentino Rossi)
This feisty Italian is the Michael Schumacher of MOTO GP; ‘Nuff said!
26. Sebastian Loeb
While other World Rally Championship drivers may garner more “name” recognition, Loeb has put on a clinic enroute to four successive WRC Driver’s titles…
To continue reading, see; THE BADDEST BAD ASSES (Con't)
The “Badest BAD Asses” (Con’t)
As I’ve said in Part 1, this is a NON-Scientific poll, which you’ll notice is weighted towards Formula 1 stalwarts making the top rungs of the list. Yet I included a smattering of real “He-Men,” you know those crazy Off Road Endurance specialists, along with a healthy dose of “Two Wheel phenom’s; a.k.a. “Scooter Pilots,” which seemed only fitting due to this being Evel’s penchant in life…
BAD ASSES (1-25)
25. Gordon Johncock
“Gordie” epitomizes the true Open Wheel professional to me, part of those 1970’s warriors, when Indy Cars still ruled the roost and the Indy 500 truly was the “Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing.”
Johncock is most widely known for winning the Indianapolis 500 twice, along with competing in two of the closest finishes at the Speedway. Johncock also is the last driver to win Indy in an American made chassis, the Wildcat (1982) and it was really “KOOL” to see him reminiscing with the rest of his crew on the 25th Anniversary of that victory, with “Gordie” making a cameo on Robin Miller’s On The Bubble video clips this past May…
24. “Big Al” (Al Unser Sr)
Although not nearly as cantankerous as his older brother Bobby, “Big Al” actually scored the most family victories at the Speedway with a total of four.
Coming up the hard way like the rest of his peer’s, i.e.; Foyt, Andretti, Johncock, Rutherford, etc. Al wasn’t afraid to mix-it up on or off the race track. And he’s quite the funny man, as I thoroughly enjoyed hearing him trade insults with Rutherford on Autosport Radio earlier this year…
23. Rick Mears
Although one of the softest spoken personalities off the track, nevertheless Mears was the ultimate king of consistency on the hallowed grounds of Indianapolis. With his unique smooth style seemingly opposite to his early days as an off road buggy driver
Mears was known for never over abusing his equipment, joining two other legends who’ve won Indy a record four times. Rick is the consummate gentleman and has been loyal to the Captain since landing his ride. Ironically Mears broke Penske protégé Mark Donohue’s closed course speed record during Indianapolis 500 qualifying with a four lap average of 223.885 mph in 1989…
22. James Hunt
Although I don’t know much about the ex-World Champion, I believe he had a bit of a reputation as a Party Animal!” And if KIMI enters a snowmobile race under his name, there must be something behind the inspiration, eh?
21. “Black Jack”
Sir Jack Brabham was as tough a hombre as they come from Down Under. Brabham was the very first driver to win the World Championship in a car bearing his name and was always a threat on track, along with passing the racing bug onto his sons Geoff and David…
20. Mark Donohue
An Engineer by trade, Donohue while employed by Roger Penske coined the phrase; “The Unfair Advantage.” Which he helped Penske hone to a mirror image. And Donohue was a winner in everything. Trans Am, Can Am and Indy, (1972) giving “The Captain” his first victory at the Speedway.
Although most likely known as the pilot of the all conquering Sunoco blue “Killer” Porsche 917/30 Can Am car, Donohue also set a closed course speed record aboard a modified CAM2 Porsche 917/30 on the high banks of the Talladega Super Speedway, with a top speed of 221.120 mph on the 2.66 mile oval. Sadly Donohue lost his life after an innocent looking Formula 1 crash in Austria in 1975, just 10 days after setting the closed course speed record…
19. Peter Revson
To me, “Revvie” epitomizes the classic look of cool during the early 1970’s. This heir of the Revlon cosmetics empire started off his racing career as an amateur, who created his own team with Tim Mayer and quickly graduated to the “Big Time” ranks of top level motor racing, i.e.; Sports Cars, Can Am, Indy and Formula 1.
I especially enjoyed his prominence in the movie “The Quick and the Dead.” Where he portrays himself as a real Bad Ass. Yet unfortunately Revson was killed during F1 testing at Kyalami in 1974 while trying to break away from the shadows of McLaren where his relationship with team manager
Teddy Mayer (Brother of Tim Mayer) had become strained…
18. “IL Lione” (Nigel Mansell)
How can you not love “BLOODY NIGE?” And Nige was definitely a “Scrapper.” As he was one of the few drivers actually able to beat Ayrton Senna. His tenacity while at the Scuderia was so intense that it won him the adoration of the Tiafosi whom called him Il Lione. (The Lion)
Yet BLOODY NIGE also had a bit of a swelled ego in his later stages, along with being an award winning Thespian. My greatest memory of ‘Old Nige, is his waving to the home crowd at Silverstone on his victory lap before killing the “Lump” and loosing the race to his bitter rival Nelson Piquet on the final corner…
17. EMMO
How can Emerson Fittipaldi not make the list, as the only person to be able to pull off wearing Elvis Presley “Mutton-chop” side burns so eloquently! EMMO also happened to be the youngest ever Formula 1 champion of his day as well as being only 1 of 3 drivers to win Formula 1 and CART Championships as well as the Indy 500…
16. Gilles Villeneuve
Another driver I know very little about, but he’s revered around the world, especially Up North, eh? He seemed to have a mercurial spirit which rubbed off on his mammoth contingent of faithful Tiafosi.
I believe I’ve also heard that he liked to party hard and was notorious for his Helicopter hi-jinx. Sadly he lost his life after a brooding rift between his fellow teammate saw the Red Mist overcome him…
15. “MAC” Montoya
Better known previously as JPM, (Juan Pablo Montoya) David Hobbs named him MAC in deference to the jokes making the rounds about his penchant for Big Macs… And it seems quite fitting for the Formula 1 star who DEFECTED to RASSCAR! But, hey he seems to be able to hold his own with dem “Roundy-round Boyzs.” And he certainly waxed them all in Sonoma, CA. (Right, Danny?)
14. “The Iceman” (KIMI)
How can Kimi Raikkonen not be a “BAD ASS!” I mean anyone nicknamed the “Iceman” must be worthy, eh? His off track exploits are legendary; From partying too hard with various women of the night, insane amounts of adult beverages consumed, to drinking champagne and falling off his friend’s yacht, winning a snowmobile race entered under the pseudonym of James Hunt and contesting a local boat race in a gorilla suit! And that’s before we even get to his AWESOME Driving skills, I mean what more can you say about somebody when David Hobbs routinely notes how LARGE the size of his attachments are!
13. “The Wee Scot”
Jackie Stewart is probably the most underrated triple World Champion of his generation, who’s also not too bad with a shotgun.
12. Dan Gurney
One of the true California “COOL” string-back glove boys, Gurney was actually born in New York before moving west. Yet, the lanky Gurney has to be one of Motor Racings truest pioneers, never being satisfied with his machinery. Dan has won in just about everything he’s entered, minus the Indy 500. Although his Eagle chassis have won the race more than once Gurney is also the ONLY American to ever win a Grand Prix in a chassis of his own construction. (Which will NEVER occur again.)
Gurney also made Toyota a dominant force in IMSA GTP before bringing the Japanese giant into Open Wheel racing and now spends his time perfecting his own motorcycles…
11. Fangio
Juan Manuel Fangio was the first true conquistador, as the diminutive Argentinean simply out drove all of his contemporaries, even when in inferior equipment! It was a different era when he drove, the likes of which we’ll never know. Yet his drives in the Argentina and Nurburgring Grand Prix’s are legendary…
10. “Schuey”
What can I say about this most legendary Formula 1 driver! As my Blogmeister commented: Michael Schumacher is simply BAD ASS for kicking everyone’s ASS in F1 so long…
Herr Schumacher’s records in Formula 1 will most likely never be broken. (Certainly not in my lifetime) And although retired, what does this German Wunderkind do for amusement? Simple, he rides MOTO GP “Scooters,” goes testing for Ferrari and gives astounded taxi cab drivers the ride of their life!
9. Bobby Unser
Although I’ll always remember Bobby for his famous words ‘O wisdom on ABC’s Wide World of Sports: “That’s because there’s some slippery liquids on the track Sam.” Bobby made the top 10 upon my just hearing the story of his lighting a Rolls Royce on fire!
And Bobby has a bit of a temper, just ask the Albuquerque policeman he punched while being given a citation at the airport! Or how about the time the National Guard were called out to go hunt for him when he got lost snowmobiling on “Off Limits” Forestlands…
8. Richard “The King” Petty
A true American icon, who doesn’t know of the King, ‘Old Number 43!And have you ever seen him without his trademark hat as well as customary shades? As the only man to ever win 200 Stock Car races, Petty has been sought out by Presidents; King’s and even the BLOODY Queen of England…
7. ENZO
Why yes, Enzo Ferrari did briefly race cars before first becoming Alfa Romeo’s racing boss and then ultimately creating arguably the most revered automobile marcque in the world! And this icon always wore his trademark dark sunglasses along with believing he was holier than the Pope!
6. Carroll Shelby
How much badder can you be then to wear bib overall’s in racing while being a Chicken farmer! This lanky Texan could and still can sell you just about anything, especially after its been dipped in his secret Snake Oil! ‘Ol Shel has done it all, from winning Le Mans both as a driver and team owner, to building some of the baddest ass street & racing cars of all time…
5. Mario Andretti
One of Open Wheel’s truest Bad Asses! Nobody messes with Mario, who’s the only man to be kissed in Gasoline Alley by his team owner upon winning the Indy 500! Mario invented the word cool, with his attitude and zest for winning in anything he strapped on. And he didn’t like being beat, especially by some God DAMN Movie Star!
4. Dale “Ironhead” Earnhart
A real Bad Ass, as only men in black can truly be! And when you’re called Ironhead, nobody messes with yuh! Where else did Champ Cars court jester Paul Tracy learn about using the “Chrome Horn, eh?” And who perfected the phrase “Racin’ is Rubbin!”
3. “Super Tex” (AJ Foyt)
What can I truly say about AJ? The man has won virtually everything he’s ever raced in… Yet my fondest memories of ‘Old Super Tex are him thrashing the Dejesus outta a recalcicant pop-off valve with a Craftsman ratchet! Or the time he beat the wholly hell outta an unsuspecting team engineer’s lap top after his car had run out of fuel. And how ‘bout punching Arie Luyendyk in Victory Lane….
So, I only gave the nod to Rufus since he drove Ford Bronco’s sponsored by “Oly” beer in the Ba-Jah; “It’s the Water,” yuh knows? And was a total sour-puss while getting his autograph in 2003 at “PAC-MANN” (Pacific) Raceways!
2. Rufus “Parnelli” Jones
Parnelli is probably best known for his win in the 1963 Indy 500 as well as driving the revolutionary “Whoosh” mobile in 1967. (Andy Granatelli’s STP Pratt & Whitney Turbine car) Yet his NO Holds Bar driving style was feared in most disciplines of motorsports that ‘Ol Parnelli entered. As Roger Penske once noted, he’d stand on the wall just to watch Jones hit the same mark every lap and throw dirt on him…
And the Number One driver is Drum roll Please…
1. Steve McQueen
Although many of you may dispute this, McQueen has always been the King of Cool! Although technically a Movie Star, McQueen was the ultimate speed freak, whom arguably made the best chase scene of all time in Bullit.
Yet McQueen was also an aspiring amateur racer whom almost won the 197x 12 Hours of Sebring, driving with his broken leg set in a plaster cast! True, Peter Revson did the yeoman’s share of the driving, but nonetheless, McQueen & Revson finished runner-up to Mario Andretti who was so incensed over the thought of a Movie Star beating him, that he flogged his winning Ferrari into submission!
McQueen also is credited for making what I consider racing’s finest movie: Le Mans, which featured real racing footage from the Circuit de la Sarthe as well as McQueen flying about in a Porsche 917.
And recently McQueen’s very first Ferrari that he ordered from the factory sold at the RM/Sotheby’s auction in Maranello for a cool $2 million. Hell he’s even got a song written about him by none other than Sheryl Crow; “Like Steve McQueen!”
Honorboale Mention
10. Tom Cruise
9. Boris Said
8. Tommy Kendall
7. Paul Tracy
6. Bob Wolleck
5. Junior Johnson
4. Tony Stewart
3. Fireball Roberts
2. James Gardner
No. 1: P.L. Newman
BAD ASSES (1-25)
25. Gordon Johncock
“Gordie” epitomizes the true Open Wheel professional to me, part of those 1970’s warriors, when Indy Cars still ruled the roost and the Indy 500 truly was the “Greatest Spectacle in Motor Racing.”
Johncock is most widely known for winning the Indianapolis 500 twice, along with competing in two of the closest finishes at the Speedway. Johncock also is the last driver to win Indy in an American made chassis, the Wildcat (1982) and it was really “KOOL” to see him reminiscing with the rest of his crew on the 25th Anniversary of that victory, with “Gordie” making a cameo on Robin Miller’s On The Bubble video clips this past May…
24. “Big Al” (Al Unser Sr)
Although not nearly as cantankerous as his older brother Bobby, “Big Al” actually scored the most family victories at the Speedway with a total of four.
Coming up the hard way like the rest of his peer’s, i.e.; Foyt, Andretti, Johncock, Rutherford, etc. Al wasn’t afraid to mix-it up on or off the race track. And he’s quite the funny man, as I thoroughly enjoyed hearing him trade insults with Rutherford on Autosport Radio earlier this year…
23. Rick Mears
Although one of the softest spoken personalities off the track, nevertheless Mears was the ultimate king of consistency on the hallowed grounds of Indianapolis. With his unique smooth style seemingly opposite to his early days as an off road buggy driver
Mears was known for never over abusing his equipment, joining two other legends who’ve won Indy a record four times. Rick is the consummate gentleman and has been loyal to the Captain since landing his ride. Ironically Mears broke Penske protégé Mark Donohue’s closed course speed record during Indianapolis 500 qualifying with a four lap average of 223.885 mph in 1989…
22. James Hunt
Although I don’t know much about the ex-World Champion, I believe he had a bit of a reputation as a Party Animal!” And if KIMI enters a snowmobile race under his name, there must be something behind the inspiration, eh?
21. “Black Jack”
Sir Jack Brabham was as tough a hombre as they come from Down Under. Brabham was the very first driver to win the World Championship in a car bearing his name and was always a threat on track, along with passing the racing bug onto his sons Geoff and David…
20. Mark Donohue
An Engineer by trade, Donohue while employed by Roger Penske coined the phrase; “The Unfair Advantage.” Which he helped Penske hone to a mirror image. And Donohue was a winner in everything. Trans Am, Can Am and Indy, (1972) giving “The Captain” his first victory at the Speedway.
Although most likely known as the pilot of the all conquering Sunoco blue “Killer” Porsche 917/30 Can Am car, Donohue also set a closed course speed record aboard a modified CAM2 Porsche 917/30 on the high banks of the Talladega Super Speedway, with a top speed of 221.120 mph on the 2.66 mile oval. Sadly Donohue lost his life after an innocent looking Formula 1 crash in Austria in 1975, just 10 days after setting the closed course speed record…
19. Peter Revson
To me, “Revvie” epitomizes the classic look of cool during the early 1970’s. This heir of the Revlon cosmetics empire started off his racing career as an amateur, who created his own team with Tim Mayer and quickly graduated to the “Big Time” ranks of top level motor racing, i.e.; Sports Cars, Can Am, Indy and Formula 1.
I especially enjoyed his prominence in the movie “The Quick and the Dead.” Where he portrays himself as a real Bad Ass. Yet unfortunately Revson was killed during F1 testing at Kyalami in 1974 while trying to break away from the shadows of McLaren where his relationship with team manager
Teddy Mayer (Brother of Tim Mayer) had become strained…
18. “IL Lione” (Nigel Mansell)
How can you not love “BLOODY NIGE?” And Nige was definitely a “Scrapper.” As he was one of the few drivers actually able to beat Ayrton Senna. His tenacity while at the Scuderia was so intense that it won him the adoration of the Tiafosi whom called him Il Lione. (The Lion)
Yet BLOODY NIGE also had a bit of a swelled ego in his later stages, along with being an award winning Thespian. My greatest memory of ‘Old Nige, is his waving to the home crowd at Silverstone on his victory lap before killing the “Lump” and loosing the race to his bitter rival Nelson Piquet on the final corner…
17. EMMO
How can Emerson Fittipaldi not make the list, as the only person to be able to pull off wearing Elvis Presley “Mutton-chop” side burns so eloquently! EMMO also happened to be the youngest ever Formula 1 champion of his day as well as being only 1 of 3 drivers to win Formula 1 and CART Championships as well as the Indy 500…
16. Gilles Villeneuve
Another driver I know very little about, but he’s revered around the world, especially Up North, eh? He seemed to have a mercurial spirit which rubbed off on his mammoth contingent of faithful Tiafosi.
I believe I’ve also heard that he liked to party hard and was notorious for his Helicopter hi-jinx. Sadly he lost his life after a brooding rift between his fellow teammate saw the Red Mist overcome him…
15. “MAC” Montoya
Better known previously as JPM, (Juan Pablo Montoya) David Hobbs named him MAC in deference to the jokes making the rounds about his penchant for Big Macs… And it seems quite fitting for the Formula 1 star who DEFECTED to RASSCAR! But, hey he seems to be able to hold his own with dem “Roundy-round Boyzs.” And he certainly waxed them all in Sonoma, CA. (Right, Danny?)
14. “The Iceman” (KIMI)
How can Kimi Raikkonen not be a “BAD ASS!” I mean anyone nicknamed the “Iceman” must be worthy, eh? His off track exploits are legendary; From partying too hard with various women of the night, insane amounts of adult beverages consumed, to drinking champagne and falling off his friend’s yacht, winning a snowmobile race entered under the pseudonym of James Hunt and contesting a local boat race in a gorilla suit! And that’s before we even get to his AWESOME Driving skills, I mean what more can you say about somebody when David Hobbs routinely notes how LARGE the size of his attachments are!
13. “The Wee Scot”
Jackie Stewart is probably the most underrated triple World Champion of his generation, who’s also not too bad with a shotgun.
12. Dan Gurney
One of the true California “COOL” string-back glove boys, Gurney was actually born in New York before moving west. Yet, the lanky Gurney has to be one of Motor Racings truest pioneers, never being satisfied with his machinery. Dan has won in just about everything he’s entered, minus the Indy 500. Although his Eagle chassis have won the race more than once Gurney is also the ONLY American to ever win a Grand Prix in a chassis of his own construction. (Which will NEVER occur again.)
Gurney also made Toyota a dominant force in IMSA GTP before bringing the Japanese giant into Open Wheel racing and now spends his time perfecting his own motorcycles…
11. Fangio
Juan Manuel Fangio was the first true conquistador, as the diminutive Argentinean simply out drove all of his contemporaries, even when in inferior equipment! It was a different era when he drove, the likes of which we’ll never know. Yet his drives in the Argentina and Nurburgring Grand Prix’s are legendary…
10. “Schuey”
What can I say about this most legendary Formula 1 driver! As my Blogmeister commented: Michael Schumacher is simply BAD ASS for kicking everyone’s ASS in F1 so long…
Herr Schumacher’s records in Formula 1 will most likely never be broken. (Certainly not in my lifetime) And although retired, what does this German Wunderkind do for amusement? Simple, he rides MOTO GP “Scooters,” goes testing for Ferrari and gives astounded taxi cab drivers the ride of their life!
9. Bobby Unser
Although I’ll always remember Bobby for his famous words ‘O wisdom on ABC’s Wide World of Sports: “That’s because there’s some slippery liquids on the track Sam.” Bobby made the top 10 upon my just hearing the story of his lighting a Rolls Royce on fire!
And Bobby has a bit of a temper, just ask the Albuquerque policeman he punched while being given a citation at the airport! Or how about the time the National Guard were called out to go hunt for him when he got lost snowmobiling on “Off Limits” Forestlands…
8. Richard “The King” Petty
A true American icon, who doesn’t know of the King, ‘Old Number 43!And have you ever seen him without his trademark hat as well as customary shades? As the only man to ever win 200 Stock Car races, Petty has been sought out by Presidents; King’s and even the BLOODY Queen of England…
7. ENZO
Why yes, Enzo Ferrari did briefly race cars before first becoming Alfa Romeo’s racing boss and then ultimately creating arguably the most revered automobile marcque in the world! And this icon always wore his trademark dark sunglasses along with believing he was holier than the Pope!
6. Carroll Shelby
How much badder can you be then to wear bib overall’s in racing while being a Chicken farmer! This lanky Texan could and still can sell you just about anything, especially after its been dipped in his secret Snake Oil! ‘Ol Shel has done it all, from winning Le Mans both as a driver and team owner, to building some of the baddest ass street & racing cars of all time…
5. Mario Andretti
One of Open Wheel’s truest Bad Asses! Nobody messes with Mario, who’s the only man to be kissed in Gasoline Alley by his team owner upon winning the Indy 500! Mario invented the word cool, with his attitude and zest for winning in anything he strapped on. And he didn’t like being beat, especially by some God DAMN Movie Star!
4. Dale “Ironhead” Earnhart
A real Bad Ass, as only men in black can truly be! And when you’re called Ironhead, nobody messes with yuh! Where else did Champ Cars court jester Paul Tracy learn about using the “Chrome Horn, eh?” And who perfected the phrase “Racin’ is Rubbin!”
3. “Super Tex” (AJ Foyt)
What can I truly say about AJ? The man has won virtually everything he’s ever raced in… Yet my fondest memories of ‘Old Super Tex are him thrashing the Dejesus outta a recalcicant pop-off valve with a Craftsman ratchet! Or the time he beat the wholly hell outta an unsuspecting team engineer’s lap top after his car had run out of fuel. And how ‘bout punching Arie Luyendyk in Victory Lane….
So, I only gave the nod to Rufus since he drove Ford Bronco’s sponsored by “Oly” beer in the Ba-Jah; “It’s the Water,” yuh knows? And was a total sour-puss while getting his autograph in 2003 at “PAC-MANN” (Pacific) Raceways!
2. Rufus “Parnelli” Jones
Parnelli is probably best known for his win in the 1963 Indy 500 as well as driving the revolutionary “Whoosh” mobile in 1967. (Andy Granatelli’s STP Pratt & Whitney Turbine car) Yet his NO Holds Bar driving style was feared in most disciplines of motorsports that ‘Ol Parnelli entered. As Roger Penske once noted, he’d stand on the wall just to watch Jones hit the same mark every lap and throw dirt on him…
And the Number One driver is Drum roll Please…
1. Steve McQueen
Although many of you may dispute this, McQueen has always been the King of Cool! Although technically a Movie Star, McQueen was the ultimate speed freak, whom arguably made the best chase scene of all time in Bullit.
Yet McQueen was also an aspiring amateur racer whom almost won the 197x 12 Hours of Sebring, driving with his broken leg set in a plaster cast! True, Peter Revson did the yeoman’s share of the driving, but nonetheless, McQueen & Revson finished runner-up to Mario Andretti who was so incensed over the thought of a Movie Star beating him, that he flogged his winning Ferrari into submission!
McQueen also is credited for making what I consider racing’s finest movie: Le Mans, which featured real racing footage from the Circuit de la Sarthe as well as McQueen flying about in a Porsche 917.
And recently McQueen’s very first Ferrari that he ordered from the factory sold at the RM/Sotheby’s auction in Maranello for a cool $2 million. Hell he’s even got a song written about him by none other than Sheryl Crow; “Like Steve McQueen!”
Honorboale Mention
10. Tom Cruise
9. Boris Said
8. Tommy Kendall
7. Paul Tracy
6. Bob Wolleck
5. Junior Johnson
4. Tony Stewart
3. Fireball Roberts
2. James Gardner
No. 1: P.L. Newman
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Speedy-dry
Recently I read some comments towards the pathetic LACK of interesting programming currently being run on the SPEED Channel, as I too agree that PINKS is a waste ‘O time… As wellas the Unique Whips marathons And a quick blast thru the upcoming programming revealed a further deluge of PINKS, Unique Whips, Novi Tuner Vision and Lucas Oil “On the Edge” filling out the daily line-ups…
Thus it’s hard to believe that it was just “Juan” year ago that I was watching the extended version of Grand Prix (the movie) on SPEED, as this included a lengthy pre-amble with the director and main man James Garner before the actual film started. Interspersed with the requisite overdose of commercials, the program was four hours long! Yet, how I’d sure like to see that movie again instead of 43 hours of PINKS!
Thus it’s hard to believe that it was just “Juan” year ago that I was watching the extended version of Grand Prix (the movie) on SPEED, as this included a lengthy pre-amble with the director and main man James Garner before the actual film started. Interspersed with the requisite overdose of commercials, the program was four hours long! Yet, how I’d sure like to see that movie again instead of 43 hours of PINKS!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Where’s Santa?
So, once again, Santa seemed to forget my request for a Ferrari… Guess he knows who’s been naughty or nice? Probably just wouldn’t fit in his sleigh? Oh well, I suppose there’s always next year, eh?
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Merry Kringle
‘Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.
Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.
The garages were swept and tidied with care, In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there; The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention Helioe!)And “Princess” in her negligee, and Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.
When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.
Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.
The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear.But a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.
The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft tyre” Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;
Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!
On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!
To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.
Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!
As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor far behind!
So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.
The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot; an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.
His hair as always was perfect, his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat;
The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf; Thus Tracy could only laugh when he appeared
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave PT nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. (Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new two year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…)
Before PT could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘ol PT heard him exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight;
Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.
The garages were swept and tidied with care, In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there; The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention Helioe!)And “Princess” in her negligee, and Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.
When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.
Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.
The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear.But a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.
The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft tyre” Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;
Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!
On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!
To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.
Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!
As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor far behind!
So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.
The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot; an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.
His hair as always was perfect, his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat;
The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf; Thus Tracy could only laugh when he appeared
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave PT nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. (Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new two year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…)
Before PT could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘ol PT heard him exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight;
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Tomaso
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Bah Hum-bug
Otay, I know I’m supposed to be cheerily singin’ (In the Rain) gleeful Christmas songs, with tidings ‘O joy; Fa-la-la-lah-la, Buh-blah-blah-blah!
“You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
“You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.You're as cuddly as a cactus.
you’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch!”
Mr. Grinch!”
But every year it seems to get FRILLIN’ Worse, with the commercial BASTARDATION of the season now traditionally starting weeks prior to Turkey-Lurkey Day, as I swear I heard a FRILLIN’ X-Mas commercial the day after Halloween, SHEISA!
And putting off my holiday shopping until the absolute final moment, I was bemused to find out that “Juan ‘O” my favourite bands has given into this gross temptation.
Asking the friendly salesman to help me find a copy of the latest Eagles release; Long Road Out of Eden, I was chagrined to hear him reply you can only buy that at WALL $MART Sir…
“F’ing A” I grunted silently to myself and replied to the cashier; Oh you mean the Eagles have finally SOLD OUT!!! (Actually I think they did several years ago with there constant Farewell tours; Part 6, 9, and 43) And it was funny hearing’ the cashier trying to defend the Band.
saying it could be their record label? To which I shot back, the CD was produced by the band.
(Even worse; "it's a little bit Country and a little bit Rock 'N Roll!)
Oh whale; “it’s beginning to look a lot like Chri$tmas…”
Oh whale; “it’s beginning to look a lot like Chri$tmas…”
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