Formula 1 rewind?

In a story to be told at a later date... I missed the past weekend’s Chinese GP - which I’d intended to watch the SPEED replay Tuesday morning at 9AM Pacific, ‘cause I made the goofy decision to record the Long Beach Grand Prix instead, since I wouldn’t be able to make it back home before the Monday afternoon replay began.

Does anybody know if SPEED or Comcast archive the Grand Prix’s for watching at a later date? As I’d ‘LUV to see “Brittany” win his debutant Grand Prix race after six years of trying...

Please leave me a comment if you know the answer to this?

Woody’s returning to Le Mans

It’s funny to think I learned this ‘lil tidbit via thee Mole - who I think I actually know who he is; BUTT! Y’all know that indelible saying: If Ayes Tells Yuhs, I’ll Haveda KILL Yuhs, right?

Yet, what better way to KILL two Birds with ‘Juan stone; Whale, actually its three birdies now - or perhaps more likely bogeys; can you say FOUR Tiger! Err, cobble three somewhat intertwined stories into one, with the news that that semi iconic marque, i.e.; Morgan - thee maker of those legendary three wheeler “Woody’s” is returning to Le Mans 50yrs after its last class victory.

As the English concern will return to le Circuit de la Sarthe this June with Oak-Pescarolo LMP2 based chassis propelled by Judd engines which will be called Morgan’s.

As its funny how I’ve never been a fan of Morgan’s - I suppose mostly because of my distaste towards those Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang wooden lookin’ antiquated three-wheelers... Yet I found the following obituary, albeit a ‘Wee bit old now, in regards to the late Chris Lawrence - who I’d never heard of before; ironically the father of that Morgan +4 that won its lemans class a half century ago along with spearheading Morgan’s latest Lemans adventures to be most interesting, as I’d also never heard of the Aero-8 project...

Chris Lawrence Obituary

All of which tied in nicely with The Mole’s smattering of news leaking Morgan’s return to le Sarthe nicely... and the ‘Co-inky-dences continued on when forlorned IndyCar team owner Eric Bachelart announced not only his switch to the American Le Mans Series this year, but also that he’d be the official North American Oak- Pescarolo importer.

Yet the Conquest Racing Endurance press release recently sent to the No Fenders mailbox - a Q+A session with Messer Bachelart noted how they’d barely had any time to prepare the car for Sebring upon its only arriving days prior... Although the Morgan teams did manage a shock Pole position for their World Endurance Championship class, along with a spot upon their respective podium.

And now comes word that Bachelart will provide assistance to Andretti Autosports fifth-wheel; Err fifth team entry for this year’s Indianapolis 500 with ‘BIA, aka Ana Beatriz behind the wheel. Hmm? Could this be a step towards Bachelart realigning himself with Chevrolet in the future for Martin ‘Plowie Plowman, a la  Ryan Briscoe & Simon Pagenaud’s Sports Cars sojourns pre-Indy Car? Or is it just another way of Bachelart keeping his crew together until more Lotus ‘lumps are produced; after all the Morgan’s are running Judd’s - the very same producer of the lamented Loti IndyCar ‘lumps...

F1: South American squabble?

Prior to the start of this year’s Grand Prix season, I had an entertaining conversation with Indiana Bureau Chief Daniel Banes Cooper who inquired is Bruno Senna simply living off of his Surname? And what are his credentials to merit his inclusion into Formula 1. And thus, it seems somewhat fitting that I’m finally posting the story on Friday the 13^th; Hya!

World Champions

Fernando Alonso; Jenson Button; Lewis Hamilton; Kimi Raikkonen; Michael Schumacher; Sebastian Vettel.

Race Winners

Heikki Kovalainen; Felipe Massa; Mark Webber.

And while much fuss has been made over the fact that we’ll have six World Champions on the grid for  the first time in history; one-quarter of the grid, we’ll also have six Paying drivers - which equally represents one-fourth of the competitors...

Pay Drivers

Pastor Maldonado, $29.5m; Vitaly Petrov and Bruno Senna $12m apiece; Sergio Perez 7.5-10m(?) and Narain Karthikeyan and rookie Charles Pic at $5m apiece. (All figures in British Pounds currency)

Thus my immediate reply was that Bruno has won races in the Ferrari Challenge and GP2 - along with finishing runner-up to 2008 GP2 Champion Giorgio Pantano, who has not been seen since trying to kick start his Open Wheel Racing career in Indy Cars in 2011 with a few paid outings... As Pantano was trying to make the switch a la ‘Rubino this year - so I’m not sure how much of an endorsement that is for Senna?

Yet don’t get me wrong, I’ve liked Bruno since his GP2 days and it’s not like he exactly had decent machinery to contest his rookie campaign in Formula 1 when struggling behind the wheel of the Hispania. Nor was last seasons replacement drive at Lotus-Renault GP spectacular. Yet once again they had the only fire breathin’ front exhaust blown chassis on the grid - which the team has gleefully discarded this year and thus, I’d haveda say the verdict’s still out upon the young Brazilian.

Yet I find it ironic that it was Bruno bumpin ‘N bangin wheels with countryman Felipe Massa in the recalcitrant Ferrari F2012 Down Under in Melbourne, as we all know that Felipe isn’t that bad of a driver to be fumbling ‘round at the tail end of the grid... As I’m sick ‘N tired of hearing all of the scuttlebutt over how Massa’s days at la Scuderia are numbered, potentially seeing Mexico’s Sergio Perez as his replacement. As I winced even harder at the suggestions in an AP story about Perez being compared to El Magnifico, nee Ayrton Senna - which the sophomore Sauber F1 driver wisely played down...

Yet Danny’s question strikes me as funny, since why didn’t he question Venezuelan Pastor Maldonado’s involvement - who’s seat at Team Willy comes courteous of his countries national Oil company PDVSA - who reportedly have written the biggest cheque amongst the known “Paying” drivers - as I’d assume there are others on the grid who’ve needed to bring some sort of personal finances along?

And the even funnier part is that while Maldonado’s credentials are better - being the reigning GP2 Champion, along with potentially outperforming Senna. Nevertheless, its Bruno who’s scored more Grand Prix points for Williams to date capped with his excellent sixth place finish in the wet-dry Sepang affair...

And I’m a huge fan of both Sergio and Felipe, having liked the latter since his Sauber days prior to becoming DER TERMINATOR’s (M. Schumacher) teammate at Ferrari. Yet, does one race simply make a driver? As it’ll be entertaining to see how the young Mexicali does in Shanghai, eh? Albeit Perez seems to be more masterful with conserving his Pirelli rubber then Massa does.

And I know Formula One is a cruel world with NO time for coddling drivers, teams, etc, yet I feel that Scuderia Ferrari is partly to blame for Massa’s demise - having effectively kicked him in the groin at Hockenheim in 2010 by ordering him to PULL OVER for Ferdi-the-Putz; you know that infamous radio call:

“Fernando is FASTER then You; can you please confirm…”

To which I see that “Willie Buxom” (Will Buxton) got into quite a lather over some Bloggerheads chortling on ‘bout the “coded” radio call for Sergio to be careful when running behind eventual Malaysia winner Alonso’s Ferrari... To which I simply ignored, as I took the DELAYED radio call to simply remind him to NOT throw the position away or make any stupid overtaking attempts upon Fernando... Zip, nada, bingo! END of story; as in you can pass him - just simply don’t crash both cars out…

Sergio Perez: The great Sauber conspiracy theory

Thus is Bruno worthy of a Grand Prix drive? ABSOLUTELY! As in NO disrespect; BUTT! If the “Speediest Indian” (Karthikeyan) and Monsieur Pic are worthy of rides, then by all means is Bruno, as after all there’s a reason they call it the Pinnacle of Motorsport; not to mention being the aspirations of thousands of drivers over the past six-decades...

And while many have purchased their ways into the sport, I still suggest that even a paying driver needs to have the requisite skills to pilot said Landsharks or they’ll be nothing more then footnotes in Grand Prix history, and can even prove detrimental to their teams long-term viability. As how many F1 Constructors have crashed ‘N burned do to the inability of these paying chauffeurs to score points whilst crashing exorbitant amounts of machinery?

As why does the KV Racing Technology team and its Venezuelan driver EJ “What, Me Worry?” Viso come to mind. You know the IndyCar team that wrecked some 35+ chassis last year...

Group Lotus gets Personal...

Yesterday whilst searchin’ the internetzz I decided to log into my Trackside Online (TSO) account which I finally subscribed to late last year after Mr. Innucci had recommended I do so years ago, to see if there was any news upon Ye Mayor ‘O Hinchtown’s (James Hinchcliffe) 10-place grid penalty for Long Beach after having to replace his Chevy engine after testing at Sonoma. (As this change occurred prior to meeting the League’s 1,850 mileage rule...)

Although I didn’t find anything on that, what did catch my eye was the story titled: Lotus Cars: Never let the facts get in the way of a good story....

Hmm? What’s that all about? To which I was somewhat taken aback over the  story, which was very cleverly written, although I would like to point out that TSO was in NO way responsible for the story and simply posting the Press Release sent to them by Group Lotus, which supposedly was intended to set the facts straight about all of the negativity currently hounding them on the world wide web.

And although I enjoyed the story simply for its humour - what I found very clear about it was that it appeared to be a thinly guised attack towards Tony Fernandes, Mike Gascoyne and Joe Saward - of which I do not know these three individuals personally, albeit I’d like to attend an Evening with Joe in Austin, Texas this year, as I’m a huge fan of Joe’s, even if he takes many a Pot-shot at us out here  in Bloggerland by calling us Cut ‘N Paster’s, etc. which leads me to delight in harkening him as a Grizzled  Journo...

Nevertheless Joe Saward’s Grand Prix Blog has been part of the No Fenders blogroll for several years now - and in NO way do I receive anything in lieu of that, thus I found Group Lotuses press release which seemed to spread like wildfire across Al gore’s invention, le internet - that it must be a very slow news day, eh?

Although the Group Lotus PR-speak made me think of it as being sorta like Bahrain’s attempts at Damage Control right now leading up to the forthcoming Grand Prix, as I’ve read one story noting how Jean Todt and the FIA will most certainly try a Charm Offensive towards the F1 Constructors team bosses this weekend in Shanghai...

As it seems to me that Group Lotus has bigger problems then launching communicates spouting off against its chief rivals on the Formula 1 grid - as they seem to be harbouring a grudge against Caterham, not to mention spitting in the face of a lone journalist in the F1 media centre.

Really Group Lotus? You’re gonna go down this route; as I’d say its very hard to compare a three year old F1 startup vs. three decades plus competitor; a four times world championship winning team that’s in its fourth major ownership guise (Toleman, Benetton, Renault, Lotus-Renault) and your doing nothing more than paying several million pounds to be its title sponsor...

Whilst it seems even more insidious to take pot shots at a longtime F1 Journalist whom has always seemed above board to Mwah. As you can read Joe Saward’s response to Group Lotuses accusations in;

Group Lotus

Meanwhile, might I suggest that the lads at Group Lotus get down to serious business and try selling some cars in order to pay for all of its bloated motorsports marketing budget - not to mention sending some more cash Engine Developments Ltd way in order to boost the ‘Luddi IndyCar ‘lumps performance...

And to think just yesterday I was ponderin’ purchasing a Dragon Racing cap at Indianapolis this May - but think I’ll just stick to my plans to purchase some Caterham gear instead!

The Lotus Saga: Chocolate bunnies, rainbows ‘N sprinkles or Rotten eggs?

Tensions in Bahrain continue ratcheting UP whilst Bernie backtracks...

It really shouldn’t come as any surprise, that once again - as typical... Emperor Bernardo, aka Bernard Ecclestone is once again doing his legendary Double-speak, akin to what I believe we harkened during the George W Bush era as Flip flopping...

As now Mr. E has gone from saying its just a couple of School lads playing with fireworks in Bahrain to saying we cannot force the F1 Teams to go to Bahrain, albeit they’re contractually obligated - but nevertheless, we cannot physically force them to attend - while claiming the race’s going ahead has nothing to do with finances... Nice Bernie!

Bahrain shines uncomfortable light on F1’s moral credentials

As I scribbled on Easter Sunday, why won’t Formula 1 simply pull the plug upon this atrocity of using the sport as a false flag for Democracy? As I’m in NO way claiming that the USA is any sort of Role model - as we’ve managed to make a Mesopotamia out of Iraq and Afghanistan. (For starters) Yet the situation in Bahrain is diabolical at best and the bloodshed surely seems likely to increase each day leading up to the Grand Prix and beyond!

Bahrain: Protest group issues warning

As I’ve only become aware of Abdulhadi al-Khawaja, who’s reportedly close to death due to his self-enforced hunger strike of over 60-days now, which surely will lead as a catalyst for more violence, especially since his life sentence  for opposing the Kingdom’s rulers came upon a forced confession; Hmm? Why does that sound like a page out of our Military’s Iraq playbook?

F1 Teams want FIA to Postpone Bahrain GP

Therefore, does this sound like the right type of situation for Formula 1 to be placing itself in? As I mentioned before, if ex-FIA Boss Jean-Marie Balestre could cancel the South African GP after Renault and Ligier boycotted the 1985 event - and vow NOT to return again until the country rid itself of Apartheid, then surely Bahrain’s Grand Prix deserves to be permanently canceled until it solves its continuing oppression towards its Citizens; albeit the irony of such an announcement during the Chinese Grand Prix weekend is sublime...

As I sincerely look forward to Uncle Bernaughty’s chess ire grin whilst being interviewed upon the Bahrain International Circuits Pre-grid... Hmm? What’s that? You say Messer Ecclestone had to attend to other business arrangements? Oh Never Mind!

The Lotus Saga: Chocolate bunnies, rainbows ‘N sprinkles or Rotten eggs?

Whale wasn’t that clever - with Easter just having concluded, eh? As I find myself grimacing over the continuous Haranguing the Lotus IndyCar concern is receiving - which is funny since I’m not a firm supporter of the affair to begin with, as I’ll continue calling it ‘Lotus-by-Judd for the foreseeable future; yet obviously without Lotuses; Err somebody’s moohlah, say as in the government of Malaysia - there wouldn’t be a third engine option to begin with!

And I’ve heard that the Luddi ‘lumps are possibly 50-horsepower down to their ICS rivals ‘Chebbie & Honda, not to mention their Lucas ‘lectrics being woefully rudimentary compaired to Ilmor and HPD’s; reputedly ‘TAG’s chassis only being capable of 53mph on the Pitlane speed limiter in a  60mph zone...

Yet, if I can ‘Suss out the following basic info - then By-gummit! Some clever bonafied journalist can surely get to the bottom of this. As what I find extremely telling towards the entire Lotus Indy Car engine debacle, is that Engine Developments Limited, (EDL) the makers of Judd racing engines reportedly only has a staff of 25-people entirely! Which means how many people actually build the hugely lamented IndyCar engines and how many staff do other things ranging from foundry work, sub-assembly, design, R&D, Dyno-work, electronics to whatever else? As I suspect that Honda Performance Development (HPD) and Ilmor (Chevrolet) have larger workforces, whilst definitely having larger financial backing behind them - not to mention having started six months earlier then Judd...

Now I’m not defending Lotus at all, as I think they rightly deserve what they’re getting, especially since the companies CEO Dany Bahar, seems to believe in Aladdin’s lamp or the Pie-in-the-Sky philosophy - and that money can buy anything... Along with simply trotting out the nostalgic colours of black & gold to stir up the soul of those good ‘Ol dazes when Emerson Fittipaldi, Mario Andretti and JPS were F1 World Champions. Not to mention somebody named Ayrton Senna leading the team’s last hurrah in the late 1980’s with turbocharged ‘Reggie’s (Renault) sporting the famous hues of John Player Special on its cockpit flanks...

And I won’t dwell upon the Loti v Loti legal battle which rightfully went tony Fernandes way, nor the since uncompleted one million T-125 “Track-day” customer cars of which ‘Ol BLOODY NIGE (Mansell) and Jean Alesi were recruited into Lotuses fold as brand ambassadors to play upon the public’s purse-strings with...

Or the fact that Messer Bahar seems to have painted the motorsports landscape black & gold, with not only Lotus F1 (4.0) running this livery but; Nicolas Todt’s rebadged Lotus-ART GP2 and GP3 teams running the iconic colours, plus Colin Kolles LMP2 Lola/Judd World Endurance Championship (WEC) concern. While I even believe I received some PR fodder ‘bout the Aurora GTX; Err, 2012 Lotus Evora GTE running in ALMS under the Alex Job Racing (Lotus-AJR) banner this season, which surely makes you wonder just how much is all of this marketing costing and who’s really paying for it?

The Lotus F1 Team is actually owned by Gerard Lopez’s Genii Capitol investment firm, with PROTON, the previously owned Malaysian government Automaker footing the bill of $25m per season in a multi-year deal - along with having written off $35m of debt owed. And I say previously owned, since the countries 43% controlling stake of the continuously money losing automobile manufacturer was recently sold to DRB-Hicom who have the option to purchase a 50% share of Lotus F1 in the future.

Confused yet? I know I am, as none of this even includes the IndyCar/EDL side of the messy affair - as many of the Formula 1 team bosses are unwilling to do business with Mr. Bahar and henceforth we really don’t know his dealings with whomever is the principal of EDL.

Thus I’m simply left wondering if Judd, who primarily have been producing Sports Car engines in various guises, V-10’s for the top flight ALMS and LeMans petrol competitors, along with powering the lower prototype division’s Morgan cars - simply didn’t understand the scope of the IndyCar operation, or are playing with one hand tied behind their backs? As in not being able to hire enough qualified personnel to adequately compete against Chevrolet and Honda? As I’m certain that all of the ‘Dicking around by Bahar & Co put Judd at a disadvantage, right?

As can we all imagine what le Hamburgular, nee Sebastain Bourdais could do with his Judd powered Dallara DW12 chassis if it was as efficient as the ‘Chebbie lump which has won the first two races - as both Chevy and Lotus are utilizing the twin-turbo configuration vs. Honda’s single turbocharger arrangement.

As somehow I doubt that Alex Tagliani will repeat as Indy 500 Pole winner this year or that Oriel Servia will be able to drag his Lotus DRR ride up to his previous years outside Row-1 (P3) starting spot this May...

Yet for Lotuses sake; whale mainly its competitors, I sincerely hope all five ‘Luddi’s; Err Loti’s make the show - especially “Symona-Symona” (de Silvestro) and Thy Leggy ‘Juan. (Katherine Legge) Although I haveda wonder how much further will Lotus fall behind when the new & improved Body-by-Mennen Aurora AFX Aerokits are unleashed next year? Since I believe Pratt & Miller are working on chevy’s version while Nick Wirth is digitally mocking-up Honda’s via his CFD Supercomputer - whilst who’s doing Lotuses? As you’ve gotta wunder how long can a niche Automaker continue supporting such grandiose racing programs...

NOTE

Naturally, the day after I finished this riveting piece - comes word from Europe that Group Lotus will NO longer sponsor the Lotus F1 Team, as DRB-Hicom has passed upon the option to purchase a controlling share in the Formula 1 racing team, whilst the Malaysian government will NO longer back the dreamy aspirations of Mr. Bahar’s planned assault upon Porsche and Ferrari with the British Sports Car marque - that has lost PROTON money since 1996.

And while Mr. Lopez was quick to dose out any speculation upon Lotuses Grand Prix finances by claiming that Genii Capitol would make up any differences in lost funding, you have to wonder what will happen to the iconic Lotus concern now, with the most obvious path being Genii Capitol becoming the companies owner. Yet will this lead to a cutback of its racing activities in the future? As after all, isn’t this what tony Fernandes intended to do originally? Although it would have potentially meant the loss of one of the two warring Loti F1 factions, eh?

New twist on Lotus saga

Damon does re-think upon Bahrain...

“The route to the BIC was lined with tanks on my last visit to Bahrain.” (Source: Will Buxton; theBuxton blog)

Somehow I suspect that there will NOT be a whole lot of parent’s & children participating in any wide scale Easter egg hunts today in thy Kingdom of Bahrain... You know, that tiny Gulf island nation that Uncle Bernaughty is so keen to return his prized Formula 1 circus to, especially since the Royal Family of Bahrain is all too eager to pay him staggering amounts of money in order to hold a Grand Prix and pose a pretty picture to the rest of the world - you know, as  in Democracy is coming to Bahrain...

As now 1996 World Champion Damon Hill, who’d gone on a “Fact-finding” mission with FIA President Jean Todt last December and given the 2-thumbs up approval to  F1 returning to the Gulf nation Kingdom, after apparently having ‘Juan too many eggnog’s? Has now recanted his statement by saying what’s been apparent all along... That in fact conditions have NOT improved in Bahrain, in fact they may have become worse.

Hill calls for rethink upon Bahrain

As even ‘Ol Damon is quick to point out that Mr. E’s quip ‘bout it being just a pack of unruly teenagers is a ‘Wee bit stretch of the imagination...

“I hope that events in Bahrain are not seen as they are often sold, as a bunch of yobs throwing Molotov cocktails, because that's a gross simplification. "You don't get 100,000 people risking their lives in protest for nothing..."

  

Thus, if the rumours are true about Burger King wishing to expand its horizons towards Asian markets in order to recoup lost market share are true; somehow I doubt they’ll be coming to Bahrain anytime soon... As after all isn’t their ‘Tag-line slogan “Have it your Way?”

Now comes word from British Parliament’s MP Richard Burden that he too agrees with Damon Hill and that indeed a rethink is needed immediately upon the forthcoming Bahrain Grand Prix...

Burden calls for rethink upon Bahrain GP

Meanwhile, SPEED Pitlane reporter “Willie Buxom” (Will Buxton) has finally purchased his Aeroplane flights to the Kingdom of Bahrain and is hopeful of everything going absolutely “Swimmingly” with only Happy, Shiny people in attendance...

On Bahrain

Yet why doesn’t the F1 circus recognize this situation akin to when French teams Renault & Ligier decided to Boycott the 1985 South African Grand Prix due to the countries then continuing resolve towards Apartheid - with then FIA President Jean-Marie Balestre cancelling the event days after and vowing Formula 1 wouldn’t return until the abolishment of Apartheid.

Hmm? Could it have something to do with the influence of money the F1 teams are set to receive? And that’s before we even get to the point about who are major benefactors of McLaren...