Sunday, February 14, 2021

Ode to DannaCar'

                Yeah! It's that time of the year once again to honour Ye Disco Queen of 'RASSCAR! As I think Dan-Dan-Danicker’ might actually be lookin’ for a Valentine's Sweetheart this year? Since she and her former Boyfriend, NFL QB Aaron Rodgers have reportedly Broken Up, Fumble! Nevertheless, here we go…

 

Toe to toe
Dancing very slow
Barely breathing
Almost comatose…

(pressdog!)

Wall to wall
People hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hanging on her every move each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping

Twenty-four hour shopping

InDannaCar Land!

Flavour Flav HMS Monogram told me everybody's high
DJ's spinning' are saving' my mind
Flash is Fast, Flash is cool
Jacke Vanilla sez fast, Flashe' no do


And you try to stop

(Watching’ MAC Montoya, Sam Hornish & ALL those Open Wheel DEFECTORS!)

SURE SHIT!

Just go out to the parking lot
Get in your car and you drive real far

Away from the track!


After you drive all night, you see a bright flashing light

And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out pops a Girl in a shiny sequin bathing suit from RASSCAR!

And you try to run but She's got a gun
And She shoots you dead and “She eats your head
And then you're in the Girl from RASSCAR!

You go out at night, eatin' Racecars

 You eat Marches, Reynard’s, Swift’s and Panoz’s too…

And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' Single Seaters
Then, when there's no more Racecars left
You go out at night and eat up Open Wheel Racing series instead

Like Champ Car and the IRL

While ‘Ol timers desperately cling to fantasies of a renaissance…

 

Face to face, dance cheek to cheek

One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move to slow, 'cause the Girl from RASSCAR is cutting thru

(Excuse me HULIO!)

 

But Mrs. Hospenthal is through with the competition

‘cause She's been eatin' a ton ‘O snicker bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
She's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture…

 

Be pure
Take a tour; through the sewer
Don't strain your brain

Just check out that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue instead!

And then say it real fast

Boog-itee- Boog-itee- Boog-itee!

Paint a train, cause you’ll be singing' in the rain

If dare ain’t some ‘Tin Tops on real soon
I say stop throwin those mountain dew cans at Pretty Boy Floyd

Junior Nation!

Just be good ‘ol boyzs and cheer for ‘dannaCar instead!

Well now you see what you want to be

Just like Mike, who’s trying to pump up ‘Dem Spin-Car ratings on TV
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR won't eat Candy bars when She’s PEAK-ing

In the bright lights…

 

As now She's gone back up to MARS Where She won't have a hassle with the human race ‘cause now its ‘DannaLand!

And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR stopped eatin' Racecars
And now She only devours IndyCar

get up; ‘Cause She’s gone HOLLYWOOD!

(Original lyrics: Blondie, Rapture; from the 1980 Album AutoAmerican)

 

2021 Edition

Originally written by Tomaso on Feb 15, 2008

(Last Modified: February 14th, 2021)     

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