So what happened? Or perhaps is I-T just a bi-product
of another STUPENDOUSLY
LONGISH Off-season? And is Mark Miles simply trying
to RUIN the
Sport? Oh wait, that's right? He's Placating us remaining Fans by
"Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge," expanding the season. As silly me, how
could I forget that...
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Chip Ganassi Racing goes to major extremes to keep
its new 2016 Super Duper Speedway Aerokit bodywork hidden prior to debuting at
Mother Speedway. (The Tomaso Collection)
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And instead of doing Thy typical team-by-team
review, especially since that DON'T excite me right now, as how dare I say it
but, the series seems somewhat Ah-shambles to Mwah - with the loss of another
three Fulltime entries, regardless of A-L-L the Rainbows 'N Bunnies Sunshine PR
Speak we'll be hearing Ad Nausea until Memorial Day weekend, when the bulk of
the Media Speak perpetually dies down.
As surely nary ah
Peep will be heard 'bout some new fangled A-L-L Ovals Open Wheel Racing series
beginning two decades ago when its founder implemented that infamous 25-8 rule
for some track in Indianapolis!
Twenty-four hours before Thy Night of thee
Long Knifes; OOPS! Wrong story; Uhm? Night before J. Douglas Bowles and Company
went Barkin' at Duh Moon, (Feb 18th) in celebration of 100-days 'til Mother
Speedway's B-I-G' Tuh-doo, my very unscientific count came up with only 26
Bonafied entries for the Indy 500 race, with Chevy & Honda tied at
13-apiece. Although I didn't include Lazier Partners, whilst certainly Townsend
Bell will land a ride again somewheres', right? But still seven cars shy
100-days out seems somewhat disconcerting, eh?
And for the rest of the year, when we're not
Awash in Mother Speedway Hoopla, since after all there are other races besides
the Indianapolis 500, right Starship HC? Since for humour I looked up the '86
season and I-T consisted of 17 true Stand-alone races, beginning on April 6th
at Phoenix International Raceway and finishing on November 9th at Miami's Tami
Ami Park. Plus one non-points event, presumably on Thy Gold Coast at Surfers
Paradise Mates!
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Mikhail Aleshin's autographed
rookie "Hero Card" obtained at the 2014 Sonoma IndyCar race. (The Tomaso
Collection)
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Thus doing my now yearly ritual of creating
my personal "Spotter's Guide," which is pretty funny since I cannot
S-E-E a blinkin' car anymore; SIGH! I came up with the following car count
several hours before those gathering upon Thy Bricks at Midnight! Yet, as always,
AIN'T Official.
There's a whopping ten teams on the Grid with
six being Hondre' powered and the remaining four wearing Bowties.
SHUHZAMM!
HOLY SHRINKING CAR COUNT BATMAN!
With just a scant 24-days until the season opening
race at St Pete, we're down to Nine "True" IndyCar teams with the
announcement that Bryan "High Speed Hurdles" Herta has morphed; Err
Mergified his struggling one car operation into Good Buddy Mikey A's fold...
Honda
A.J. Foyt Enterprises, (2) Andretti Autosport, (3+)
Andretti-Herta Autosport, (1) Dale Coyne Racing, (2) Rahal Letterman Lanigan
Racing, (1+) Schmidt Peterson Motorsports. (2)
Chevrolet
Chip Ganassi Racing, (4) Ed Carpenter Racing, (1+)
KVSH Racing, (1) Team Penske. (4)
Naturally, out of the eleven Fulltime Honda
powered entries slated for this year, Andretti Autosport is the Big Kuhoona'
once again, with RHR', nee Ryan Hunter-reay scoring multiple wins last year,
along with Carlos Munoz's maiden IndyCar win at a sopping Belle Isle.
Yet Graham Rahal in his Father's single car band "O Merry men
were actually Honda's best team with Graham contending for the championship. As
never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd find myself rootin' for the resuscitated
'Graminator; YIKES!
While the only other Hondre' winner was thee
Mayor 'O Hinchtown doing a most crafty Rain dance in Nawlins en route to an improbable
victory before that horrifically scary season ending crash at Mother Speedway!
On the Chevrolet side, once again we find the
series two Heaviest Hitters, with Thy Cheepster', nee Chip Ganassi going Mano e
Mano versus his longtime Sparring Pardner 'El Capitano, aka Roger Penske. As
both premiere organizations will field four cars apiece.
The other two
Bowtie runners seem to be mere shells of themselves, both sporting only
single car entries Fulltime, although the newly reformed Ed Carpenter Racing's
Josef Newgarden enjoyed his Breakout season last year by scoring his first two
IndyCar victories - whilst KV XP Calladrociouses le 'Hamburgular, nee SeaBass,
aka Sebastain Bourdais scored a fantastic win at Milwaukee.
And know I'm soundin' like a broken record
but; where are A-L-L of the vaunted MRTI Indy Lights graduates? Namely series
champions? As the names Wade Cunningham,
Jay Howard, Alex Lloyd, Rafael Matos, J.K. Vernay, J.R. Hildebrand, Tristan
Vautier, Sage Karam and Gaby Chaves are littered about!
With just over three weeks before St Petersburg,
only the 2011 Indy Lights champion Josef Newgarden would be racing in Thy
B-I-G' CARZ Fulltime!
For humour, beginning with James
Hinchcliffe's rookie season in Indy Cars, five years ago - having finished runner-up in Indy Lights in 2010, I decided
to take a gander at how many drivers who've graduated from Lights are still
racing, and more importantly have stuck around to participate in this year's
IndyCar season!
Charlie Kimball and Takuma Sato were part of
Hinch's 2011 rookie class, albeit Taku-san' was hardly a rookie, having joined
A.J. Foyt Enterprises after multiple years in Formula 1. As Sato's rookie
status was pretty funny, akin to Rubino', aka Rubens Barrichello, Formula 1's
All-time starts leader with 322 who became an IndyCar rookie the following year
at KV Racing Technology alongside Good Buddy TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan and
E.J. "What? Me Worry!" Viso.
Twenty-twelve saw Josef Newgarden and Simon
Pagenaud moving up to IndyCar, albeit Pagenaud came from the American Le Mans
Series and Champ Car ladder previously.
Jack Hawksworth graduated from Lights in 2014
alongside a most intriguing rookie named Mikhail Aleshin, winner of the 2010 Renault
Formula 3.5 Series, one of Formula 1's major feeder series. While 2013 Indy 500
Rookie Of the Year Carlos Munoz graduated to a Fulltime ride with his previous
Indy Lights employer Andretti Autosport.
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| America's latest Formula 1 driver graciously chats briefly with No Fenders Head Scribe Tomaso at Will Buxton's Bigtime Bash in Austin during the 2014 USGP Weekend. (The Tomaso Collection) |
As its interesting how none of last year's
IndyCar rookies, including Gabby Chaves are in the field, whilst Conor Daly,
another Sam Schmidt Lights graduate, class of 2011 will race against two former
Formula 1 Hot Schues, Max Chilton, who I've already forgotten drove the bulk of
last year's Lights campaign for Carlin.
Reigning Lights champion Spencer Pigot's only
got a confirmed three-race deal, which hopefully he'll shine in his maiden race
at St Pete before joining another Lights Alumni, Mathew Brabham, who contested
the full 2014 Lights season followed by a One-off outing at St Pete in 2015 before disappearing
off to Formula E. As the two novices will run the Indianapolis Double in May.
And then there's this other F1 Chap named
Rossi. Having Ah-waited news on whether or not Alexander Rossi would grace us
with his presence at the newly formed AHA #98 concern?
Alas, with baited breaths, who'll fill Dale
Coyne's vacant second seat? As I'd enjoy seeing Jack Harvey alongside Conor
Daly, although Curty' Cavin seems to think it'll be Luca Filippi getting
the nod.
Thus it appears that although just one lone Indy
Lights champion from the past eleven years will be racing, there are seven Indy
Lights graduates from 2011 onwards making up one-third of this year's Fulltime
grid...
As presumably this year's series champion
will once again come from one of the Top-3 teams; ergo Ganassi, Penske or
Andretti? Although the latter will surely hinge upon how well Honda's rejuvenated
Aerokit performs, whilst many will be curious to see if Graham Rahal's form
continues and can Marco Andretti win a race?
Although it seems reigning four-time champion
Scott Dixon will be fighting an uphill battle vs. Team Penske's gauntlet, although
I'm guessing the 40 Somme-thuns' will faulter once again leaving Dixon to fend
off Will Power and Simon Pagenaud, with Hunter-Reay being the lead Contendah'
at "Double A."
But if the Hondre' AFX Aurora Body-by-Mennen
Aerokits prevail being closer to the Bowties, then I'll pick the Rooskie', aka Mikhail Aleshin to
take a surprise win somewheres' on a Twisty course, which will put pressure
upon Thy Mayor 'O Hinchtown to return the favour.
While you've gotta believe that Newgarden
will make another appearance on the Podium's top step, where SeaBass will try
punting him from. But careful Monsieur Bourdais, DON'T drop that trophy; Hooah!
And
lastly, I'm really looking forward to the Rookie Of the Year )ROY) Scrum
of Conor Daly in the Shoebox DCR entry vs. ex-F1 Pilote' Max Chilton at the resplendent
Ganassi stable 'O Thoroughbreds. Which I'd truly LUV' seeing Conor prevail over
Chilton and America's latest torpedoed F1 hopeful Alexander Rossi!
As its pretty
scary to Mwah, that the only two drivers who've got me truly
"JAZZED" this year three weeks
prior to St Pete are Conor Daly and Mikhail Aleshin! While I'm hopeful Hinchcliffe and Newgarden can
continue their upward trajectories, and now there's this Rossi Cat!
