Friday, July 26, 2013

INDY 500: 2013 Reflections, Trampling Upon a Tradition

Is this soon to be another forgotten relic from the past Glory ‘Dazes of IMS? As versions of these famous Quilts have been passed out to Indy 500 winners every year for decades now. (DOB Images)
Carrying on with this theme of pointing out some of the Fine Folks of Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s “McManagement,” (if you’re still reading, eh?) this was actually more DISAPOINTING then the Indy 500 Raceday entry CLUSTERFUCK!

Go Away, We’re NOT Open!
I was first introduced to the Flagroom Bar located inside the hallowed grounds of Indianapolis Motor Speedway ‘Wayback in July, 2007, my third trek to Mother Speedway, even going one step better by staying at the now long since demolished Brickyard Hotel when taking my Two-seater ride around IMS.

Which upon many of the various celebrities I’ve met over the years there, Included my favourite character, the ‘legendous Doctor Who, who I last saw just over one year ago now before he perished - who surely wouldn’t have been overly impressed by the Track’s antics over closing our favourite hangout...

Thus, ever since that enjoyable  ’07 trek to Mother Speedway, I’ve been a devoted ‘N loyal PAYING Customer of both the Flagroom Bar and adjoining Brickyard Crossing Restaurante, having repeatedly eaten meals in both establishments surely prepared by the same kitchen...

And my visits to the Flagroom typically (average 4-times plus per year) begin on the Thursday evening of what surely must be the Speedway’s largest, busiest and MOST profitable weekend of the year; can Y’all say INDY 500!

As I have NO idea what happened this May, and I’m curious if they’ll repeat the BLUNDER over the Brickyard 400 weekend? As its hard to compare ‘N contrast the euphoria of mingling with Buddy Lazier & Tim Wardrop, ‘Uncle Bobby (Unser) and “symona-Symona,” (de Silvestro) last year - having patronized said establishments Thursday-Sunday vs. ONE measly hour stay after the race this year...

Having been picked up at the Indianapolis airport by my Personal Assistant, Purveyor ‘O ALL things Indy, ‘Offical No Fenders Photographer, etc, ‘CARPETS first pointed out to me another one of Indy Cars typical blunders, as unfortunately he didn’t have camera in hand when informing me that the Dallara DW12(?) Showcar on display at the airport still had LOTUS listed upon I-T as Official Engine Supplier to IndyCar; YIKES! As Dave Mused, couldn’t they have at least either removed that or put some sort of sticker over IT? As I suppose this should have been a sign of things to come, eh?

Thus, walking into our usual yearly Waterin’ Hole, we were disappointed to discover the Flagroom was closed and even more disappointed when the waitress in the Restaurante told us the kitchen’s closing in 5mins Y’all; Huh? But its ONLY 7:55PM ET, to which in a rare fit of clarity I briskly told the waitress NO THANKS, WE’RE LEAVING!

And the Flagroom remained CLOSED the following two-days plus; WTF? As somebody didn’t relent upon this disturbing theme until Sunday afternoon following the race, in order to stop a possible stampede?

Hence, are you listening IMS? We took our business elsewhere instead of dining at your funky ‘lil hole in the wall over the entire weekend!

And I won’t name names here, but suffice I-T to say, that when we inquired with a longtime celebrity and loyal patron of said establishments, remarking can you believe what they’ve done this year in regards to NOT having the historic Flagroom open all weekend long, she simply ‘N curtly replied without hesitation: THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US!!!

And NO! It wasn’t Chairwoman Emeritus Mary Hulman George who we spotted exiting the mostly empty Brickyard Crossing Restaurante late Saturday evening. (When we’d finally had our first meal there...) While witnessing another in the multitudes of longtime patrons seeking to pop into the Flagroom for an “Adult Beverage” and perhaps mingle with some of the Starz ‘O Yesteryear. As I heard a young man telling his older father: sorry, they’re closed!

And another “expert” mused that perhaps they simply didn’t want that overly shady “Poison” crowd frequenting their establishment after the Carb Day concert? To which I quickly retorted: Lynyrd Skynyrd isn’t worse? As we’d enjoyed refreshments ‘N food the previous year while the long in-the-tooth Southern Rockers classic “Freebird” played over the Bar’s close circuit TV.

But wait, I-T gets even better! As at least we could enjoy the all you can eat Buffet Sunday morning pre race, right? NOPE! 86 that Race Fans! After arriving shortly before 9AM at the Brickyard Crossing Restaurante, a la as we’d done the previous year in order to BEAT THE HEAT! The six of us entered the Restaurante on our own accord and seated ourselves, only being told belatedly we couldn’t do this, and thus getting up, walking back out to the entrance, the lady then said follow me; SHEISA! What is this, ring around the rosy?

Having been seated and taking our drinks order, we decided we’d better go get in the fast  growing buffet line, which had come to a screeching halt and wasn’t moving at ALL! With NO idea of why? We worked our way forwards before Dave frantically attempted scooping up any of the remaining food onto our plates before we were curtly informed at 9AM that they were completely OUT of food; WHAT-THE-FUCK INDEED!!!

As this was a pretty SHITTY prank pulled upon us by the Fine Folks of CIBUS? Who IMS has apparently “Outsourced” the Restaurante to, as we’d planned on eating breakfast there, as in like I don’t know, a WHOLE breakfast instead of the scoop of watery eggs, crumply bacon and lone miniature muffin ‘CARPETS had been able to snag for me!

Oh ‘Whale, we could always get something on our way into the track right? NOT THIS FUCKING YEAR! Thank You Very Little Doug Bolles ‘N Company! As Y’all know already ‘bout the 2hr CLUSTERFUCK of entering Mother Speedway...

Yet adding insult to injury as the six of us sat there dumbfounded over how we’d just been Shanghaied by CIBUS, the waitress had the audacity to try charging us for six FULL meals; Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot Again!

Oh yeah, I left out the part about how the entire outside patios had been snapped up by Corporate Sponsors, who’d ultimately vacuumed up A-L-L of the FREAKIN’ FOOD! As further insult to injury was how after they’d turned everybody away at 9AM and told ALL of the “little people” to GO AWAY! And after all of the corporate Schmucks had been served - it got even more stranger when some 20-30 minutes later they brought out leftover food from a party for sixty people who’d apparently NOT  shown up?

As I sat there in disbelief, one of the ‘Hosers (‘KuhNuck’s) in our group patiently explained to me how they’d seen this movie before, when the three Open Wheel Racing Aficionados were slowly squeezed out of their home race at Toronto which was Gentrified by Corporations which subsequently took away A-L-L of the viewing mounds and public food outlets away from the “Casual Fan” before these three DieHard Fans got so PISSED OFF by this roughshod treatment that they simply STOPPED attending their hometown race... Once again, ARE YOU LISTENING INDYCAR? As I don’t know ‘bout Y’all but I’m not only growing tired of the constant thanking the fans routine, but am really wondering if there’s any substance behind IT???

And ALL of this ATTROCIOUS behaviour towards the loyal paying public, since as I poond away on Zed Keyboard, cannot simply help but wonder if perhaps this is all some sort of ploy towards a master plan to Gentrify the Flagroom and Brickyard Crossing restaurante whilst waiting for ‘Ol Mother Mary (Hulman) to kick thee bucket before ultimately turning it into some sort of Members Only establishment?

As final case-in-point, the woman named Barb who shows old racing movies on weeknights was originally doing this in the Flagroom and bringing a steady 20-30 persons to each weeknight’s showing before summarily being told to go away! As what’s WRONG with this picture, eh?

Oh Never Mind! That’s right, I forgot. THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US! Y’all know, the Paying Fans that return yearly to their Playground... 

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)