Wednesday, July 24, 2013

INDY 500: 2013 Reflections, Bad Vibes Aboundnd at IMS...

Really like the Driver and Team in general of this racecar, just NOT a fan of their Indy 500 *VIP* Pitlane Guest! (DOB)
While IndyCar continuously attempts flyin’ the A-L-L Sunshine ‘N Rainbows Flag, suffice it to say, NOT everythingy was “Peachy-king” this Memorial Day, especially regarding thee MOTHER “O A-L-L CLUSTERFUCKS!!! Regarding trying to enter the Speedway on Raceday; Can You Hear Me Now Mr. Miles? Along with the STUPIDITY of NOT having our favourite Waterin’ Hole open until Sunday after the race, not to mention the HORRIFIC service in the adjoining Restaurante; SHEISA! PULL YOUR FREAKIN’ HEADZ OUT IMS!!!

Yet, that being said, there was also ample amounts ‘O goodness surrounding Mother Speedway as I suppose with any facility that ‘Gynormous there’s bound to be continuous Shits ‘N Giggles, right? Nevertheless, here are some of the more atrocious blunders that occurred over the weekend, as I’d ‘LUV to be the proverbial “Fly On-the-Wall” after this most important ‘RASSCAR weekend’s event...

Bad Vibes
  • Flagroom Bar/Brickyard Crossing Restaurant completely Mismanaged
  • Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing Celebrity Stunt
  • Indy Lights series lack of entrants
  • IMS Speakers blaring out CRAPY ARSE musak
  • Ice Skating on stairs

 I’ve decided to scribble ‘bout the Butchery inflicted upon the Flagroom in a separate post, since after all I-T was the main dissatisfaction I had with the oft bungling management of IMS!

INDY 500: 2013 Reflections, Trampling Upon a Tradition

The Sarah Show
If Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing was looking for attention, they certainly got I-T with the hosting of controversial ex-Alaska Governor and Vice President Candidate Sarah “PAY-land; YUK!

And although I understand the need for publicity but really Sarah, Andy and ‘Wink; WTF? It was bad enough hosting Hillary “Dillery” Rodham Clinton, but now Sarah Palin; FUCK! As Y’all certainly got my attention...

Having been a H-U-G-E Fan ‘O Sarah’s over the years, along with being very high upon Joseph Newgarden - who certainly has to be in the running for next debutant IndyCar winner, I’m afraid to say that this ‘lil publicity stunt BACKFIRED! At least for Mwah, since although the SFHR building was closed on Memorial Day, which seems a mistake, as it’d be my first chance to visit I-T! Even if it had been opened, due to the Palin Affair, I’d vowed to NOT purchase any of the SFHR ‘Swag I’d previously been intending to. So “Here’s Your Sign,” Sarah!

Where’s duh Beef?
And although it was thee BEST Indy Lights Freedom 100 race I’ve ever been too, albeit only my fourth event, as how can I even possibly attempt describing the totally UNHEARD of 4-wide finish! Nevertheless, Y’all have to be mightily concerned over the current LACK of Firestone Indy Lights series entrants, as I’ve been thru at least two iterations of this feeder series demise - as the current single digit number of fulltime competitors makes me think of another long, lost & forgotten feeder series known as the North American Touring Car Championship with Home team Pacwest Racing running the Factory backed Dodge Stratos for David Donohue & Dominic Dobson...

Can Y’all Hear Me Now?
If its NOT bad enough already, as I have NOTHING positive to say about the Pit Stop contest - which I find to be an absolute WASTE of time; the ONLY thingy worse then the pathetic Hurry Up ‘N Wait made for TV Infomercial-fest without doubt has to be Mother Speedway’s Public Address speakers blaring out CRAPY ARSE musak during the overly long periods between each of the respective Pit Stop contest; Eh competitors, as you simply cannot even remotely hear yourselves whilst trying to have a conversation during the long winded event, as I quickly decided to re-insert my earplugs! As somebody thought we needed to have the PA System turned up to 12! And I won’t even bother lamenting over the musak selection, eh?

Slip Slidin’ Away
FUCK! IT’S STILL SWOLLEN! ‘Whale partially now some six-weeks since landing upon I-T! And yeah, I made the unusual practice of going to my doctor and having it checked out, getting X-Rays taken, etc.

As adding insult to injury after the 2hr CLUSTERFUCK of trying to enter the Brickyard, which I must admit was somewhat diminished by a great ending race! After having been helped down the 47-rows of stairs from our nosebleed Row WW seats in Turn-4, my friends made the mistake of telling me I only had four easier ‘lil stairs remaining...

Yet some FREAKIN’ GOOBER had managed to spill copious amounts of liquid, which naturally I’d presume was beer upon the metal stairs, as my friends tried to warn me my feet careened out from underneath - as it was akin to Ice Skating! As my feet immediately slid across the slick metal surface as my entire weight was placed smartly upon my left elbow before I preceded to slide down on my left side’s ‘bum to the bottom of the stairway; SHEISA! As this Bud’s for You, whoever made the ensuing mess which naturally BLIND and visually impaired persons cannot S-E-E! As fortunately it’s only a “Flesh Wound,” and my elbow’s not broken...

For more 2013 Indy 500 lowlights, see; INDY 500: 2013 Reflections, Trampling Upon a Tradition

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)