Tuesday, September 11, 2012

No Fenders B-DAY: And Thee Number is Six!

The ‘Legendous ‘R (Robin Miller) Arm-wrassles with The ‘CandyMann (Randy Bernard) over a priceless limited 1st edition No Fenders T-Shirt...
As in Six is thy number, thee number shall not be three; Three is thy number, four shall not be before six, as thee number five will NOT be before three; Oh Never Mind! As I dunno why? Actually I do - as after all, having just listened to my very first ever Monty Python movie this August in Lord Stanley’s house; Err Stanley Park... I cannot help myself but try to do a very poor impersonation ‘O thy Holy Grail’s counting, eh?

And sorry if you’re looking for some sorta riveting review of the post-Baltimore GP Indy Carz race here... As instead, your humble No Fenders scribe Tomaso has decided to once again trumpet his own horn by announcing; tuh-duh! The sixth birthday of his fascinatingly riveting racing ‘BLOB! Which ironically was launched this very day six years ago! And totally by spontaneous combustion - with NO attempt of being Oh, So Clever and launching it upon that very STUPID day called Nine-eleven; when the Walls came Uh Crashin’ Down!

As SO many Uh thoughts came Uh Crashin’ thru when I began scribblin’ my contorted thoughts yesterday - as ‘Juan ‘O Seattle’s Baddest Grunge Bands blared upon my Golden Oldies station: Alice In Chains song Heaven Beside You - approprietly the lyrics “Do What You wanna Do; Be Who you wanna Be!; Heaven Beside You - HELL WITHIN!” Were playing in the background when I began my typi8n’ Hya! As I thought I’d leave those nucee-bashes in the story, eh? As after all, I was part of the much forgotten UOWWBA (United Open World Word Butchers Association) brigade all those years ago...

And as I scrambled to reconnect to prior Birthday tidings posts - another very timely song played in the background: Kansas’s we’re ALL Just Dust in the Wind! (Including your humble scribe, eh?)

And without further ado, here goes a very brief look back upon the previous five years B-Day No Fenders Salutations - as this past year seems largely unforgettable, mostly due to the further loss of vision and continuous haranguing of Zoomtext’s ABOMINATION called  10.0 - which has made my daily co-existence upon Zed Internetz, Outlook Express and microSOFT’s Word ’03 extremely FUTILE!!! F$$KING CONFUZER PROGRAMMERS!

And although story No. 1 a half dozen years ago was actually:  Klien Rejects Red Bull Offer... I like to think of my ‘BLOB as ‘Auntie Harriet named it all those years ago - actually started most Karmically with: Red bull Really Does Give You Wings! A nod to a precocious 19yr-old teenager named Sebastian Vettel... Who’s long since become known here at No Fenders as Master ‘Zebb...

2006-07: Year-1
Yeah, Y’all ready know what’s coming... As in how many of you can remember what you were doing six-years ago? Not to mention 5yrs ago? As I’ve just re-read or if I was ‘fornetically speelin I-T for ‘Lucy’s sake; nee my much ess-STEAMED! Screen Reader’s name thanxs to Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen... OH SHIT! I’ve lost thee point here; ahem? A senior moment? Oh Yeah, I’d haveda speeled it re-red it, not to be cornfuzed with retread which I kept typing by accident...

Speeding outta duh gates from Sept 11 to Dec 31, 2006 my story logs indicate that 106-posts were launched into thy either in the beginning of No Fenders duration upon Zed Internetz... With such story titles as: MAC” Montoya; New Champ Car events for 2007; Sayanora Suzuka; Champ Car Driver Roulette; Schumacher’s Last Dance; Spin ‘N Win? Il Wurld der Schuey; Zanardi’s Return; Gascoyne’s Gardening Leave; Spyker’s Smooth Moves; No More Imola; What Merger? MAC Miami; Disco JV; Motormouths; Champ Cars New TV Package; Mika takes the Fifth; Zanardi drives BMW; Jense” Cracks Up; New Champ Car; Speed/Fox land F1 TV Deal; RuSPORT Sold; Champ cars Next Star? Da Matta Vows Return; Mika’s Maladies; Champ Car visits China; Bourdais gets F1 Test; Marco gets Honda Christmas present; Code Blue; Todt advises Kimi on Drinking; Al Unser Sr. Acquitted; Berger’s Motivational Techniques; Stoddart purchases CTE/HVM; Chassis Cloning; Vegas gets Title Sponsor; McLaren’s newest Golden Boy; Grand Prix (The Movie) Police trouble in Unser Case; Champ Car sends Devoted Fan Fuming...

And its even harder to believe that a further half-dozen years prior to thee launching of this Award Winning website; Hya! I was hangin’ out in Modena, Italy NO LESS! With some kOOL Cat named Phil Hill along with attending the Italian Grand Prix!

Yet undoubtedly my Nunero Uno memory and cherished event from Year No. 1 would haveda be riding aboard the Synden Racing 2X Seater ‘Beast with Davey ‘STUD! Hamilton as my affable chauffer!

2007-08: Year-2
Another Year Zoom-Zooms by with another fairly short B-Day message thanking my loyal subjects; Err contributors... Most notably Blogmeister Miguel and Artiste Dave, along with my three amigos - original bureau chiefs: Arizona’s ‘Snowbyrd MJ, Indiana’s Daniel Banes Cooper and Tacoma’s Mary Ellen plus ‘Offical No Fenders Photographer ‘CARPETS and Cub Shutterbug Alex; not to mention No Fenders #1 Fan ‘auntie Harriet!  

As year two was somewhat typical of your Sophomore Slump - especially after trying to outdo the marvelous adventure of cruising Mother Speedway in the Indy Racing Experience’s two seater...

2008-09: Year-3
Absolutely the Highlight of Year-3 would haveda be my debutant Indy 500 race outing, having decided what better year to begin what now appears to be a yearly tradition - by beginning with Centennial No. 1, the year of the Speedway’s unveiling, eh? And making the trip even more memorable was being part of IMS’s inaugural Blogger Brigade - having been granted access into the vaunted Indianapolis Motor speedway’s Media Centre; along with getting to hang out with My Name’s IRL famous scribe Mr. Innucci...

Then May was followed up by getting to do my most cherished No Fenders version of thy ‘Double; Indy and an accompanying Formula 1 race, with this year’s venue being BLOODY ‘Ol Silverstone... So obviously (SNAP! Take that Graham Rahal; Hya! Nice ‘Juan Jeffie...) that was a pretty good year, eh?

2009-10: Year-4
Sadly, this was the year of remembering ‘Ol Salt Seaman 1st Class Marc of Full Throttle who unexpectedly passed away... As Marc was one of my fellow bloggers - along with being a supporter of No Fenders - with his quick ‘N dry wit, never cutting me too much slack, but in a good way... As Marc made me laugh on a continual basis with his daily scribblings - most notably his continuous zinging of Thy ‘Littlest Curve, aka MAD Max Mosley; whiles 2010 also saw the demise of the “Legendous” My Name is IRL IndyCar blog - along with Linksheaven... Alas, why does two years ago seem such a long ways away, eh?

Yet the year wasn’t a total bust, as I attended my inaugural Moto GP race at the Speedway, making it my Centennial “Sandy-wich,” which once again came complete with IMS Media Credential!

Tomaso unexpectedly “Primps” for the camera with legendary ‘RASSCAR driver Danica Patrick just minutes prior to the 2011 I500 Victory Banquet  in Downtown Indiana...
2010-11: Year-5
Being the tenth anniversary of I dunno, whatever, right? I tend to associate the farcical Nine-eleven Day a different way, since it was the year of Mary Ellen driving me Coast-to-Coast in ‘Ol Blue, her trusty 1978 Ford Econoliner Camper-van from Seattle to Indiana for my debutant visit to Mother Speedway for that year’s USGP - on a glorious 17-days MadCap camping safari with some Formula 1 sprinkled into the mix!

Fast forward ten-years and I scribbled my fleeting memories about El Zorro’s (Alex Zanardi) fateful day a decade earlier along with attending my second Indy 500, i.e.; Centennial 2.0... Not to mention having been stiffed by Crash Gladys of Speed Freaks at IMS; No Fenders shutterbug ‘CARPETS set me up royally as I’d have a surprise of epic proportions played amongst Mwah - when having my mug shot snapped with Mrs. “blue Dress,” aka thee ‘Juan, the ONLY Danica! And thus I tried doing a different take upon my yearly B-Day salutations instead, featured in;

2011-12: Year-6
The last year seems somewhat like a blur - with the shifting of seasons, or is it the tide? Y’all may have noticed my more infrequent NON-racing scribblings which have now become denoted as The Tomaso Files... As I’d definitely haveda say that the top two highlights so far have been a 3-lap 2X Seater ride at Phoenix INt’l Raceway’s 1.0-mile ‘Bullring Ovaltrack aboard the Richard Petty Driving Experience mount - which I’m still awaiting the photos; which reportedly Artiste Dave has just finally copied onto a disc for Mwah!

Then another memorable Indy 500 outing courtesy of ‘CARPETS ‘N Duh ‘KuhNucks... Even if it was DAMN HOT this year, eh? Baking in Turn-2 whilst sitting completely surrounded by fans on shiny silver metal bleachers with Dave Calabro announcing we’d broken the 1937 HEAT record that day - with a HEAT index of  100deg-f; SHEISA!

And for a No Fenders Nightcap, I’ll attend this year’s inaugural Austin F1 race, which is another story I’m sitting upon... Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see Texas Governor Rick “Good Hair” Perry playing all ‘Squeaky-clean with SPEED’s Willie Buxom on the Monza grid! Hmm? Perhaps that’s where part of my tickets proceeds went too?

 Lastly; to ALL of ‘Uze loyal readers ‘N followers of No Fenders...