Thursday, July 5, 2012

F1: One Streak is Over, One Continues and one has just Begun?

2012 European Grand Prix podium. (Source: grandprix.com)
What an absolutely BONKERS European Grand Prix nearly a Fortnight ago that was, as I was somewhat mystified over what happened to Master ‘Zebb’s utterly dominant RB8 chassis... As Vettel simply streaked away from everybody en route to building up a 19-second lead before the safety car quashed that. Then the car simply switched off; CRIKEYS!

As a second ‘Reggie (Renault) ‘lump faltered - as  the hard charging Romain Grosjean - as I don’t like the nickname they’ve (SPEED) given him of “RoGro,” since it immediately makes me think of a men’s hair regeneration product... Lost the spark to his drive as the in-car radio transmission told him that the alternator had failed; Hmm? As the SPEED booth ‘Boyz were quick to speculate on the day’s heat being the cause of the two Renault failures, as in not enough cooling getting to the alternator...

And I haveda say I was rootin’ the remainder of the race against “Fredrico Suave,” after Fernando Alonso had passed Grosjean... As Alonso will forever be firmly remembered as “Ferdi-duh-Putz” which Blogmeister Miguel christened him several years ago - during the McLaren dazes I believe, as Alonso’s just a wee bit too SMARMY to Mwah!

But you cannot deny he’s a great driver - having come from a lowly 11th place to not be denied a magnificent victory on home soil in front of 90,000 adoring fans, as Spain defeated France twice in 24-hours; not to mention some sorta redemption over its German Eurozone lords, eh?

Yet I was actually hoping Grosjean would make it eight-for-eight in this season’s string of different winners, but alas the record for most consecutive different winners at the beginning of a season is over. With reportedly the all time tally for different consecutive winners being nine in 1982.

Meanwhile Grosjean’s teammate thee Iceman, nee Kimi Räikkönen and his Oomphlats; Hya! Who’d been lurking in the background and applying massive pressure towards Louise ‘JAGUAR Hamilton finally passed the Brit for second place in the closing laps before Hamilton whose rear tyres were shot basically tried closing the door upon the hard charging Pastor Maldonado, who’d surely claim the podium’s final step before ‘JAGUAR made a mess of I-T! With the two drivers colliding which unexpectedly opened the door for ‘DER TERMINATOR, nee Michael Schumacher to grab an unexpected third place finish... The German’s first podium in six years, since China of 2006; Aye Karumba!

Yet apparently the Race Stewards, including Mika Salo saw the Team Willy Venezuelan’s incident differently as they gave Maldonado a 20-second time penalty afterwards - which dropped Pastor from tenth and ironically gifted the final points paying position to his forlorned teammate Bruno Senna...  

Thus what a surreal podium it was with la Scuderia sweeping the podium... As the drivers finished in the exact order of their Ferrari employment, as Schumacher was squeezed out by Raikkonen who in-turn didn’t wish to compete against Alonso and went Rallying instead! As talk ‘bout a ‘Mega podium with ten driver’s crowns amongst the trio...

And making for even more synchronicity was the man collecting the Constructor’s trophy for Maranello; as Andrea Stella, Alonso’s race engineer who enjoyed a champagne soak courtesy of Fernando on the podium has a unique tie to the triumberant - which SPEED’s Professor (Steve) Matchett pointed out how he’d worked with all three drivers at la Scuderia...

As Andrea was Schumacher’s performance & vehicle engineer - responsible for analyzing all data collection for the multi-winning world champion before switching to the same role for Raikkonen, before becoming Kimi’s race engineer when Chris Dyer was promoted to Chief Track Engineer. And now Stella has continued the latter role with Alonso, as he’s the voice we hear over the in-car radio transmissions speaking to Fernando... Who was heard saying Fantastica! Which indeed this race was - especially with all of its uncertainty surrounding it - as none of the media pundits had picked Alonso to become the season’s first repeat winner, especially with his starting position... As your money most likely would have been placed upon Vettel from pole, eh? Or Hamilton from P2 or perhaps even Maldonado starting third instead...

Meanwhile I had to scratch my head over Willie Buxom’s (Will Buxton) retarded question to Uncle Bernaughty upon the New Jersey Grand Prix now in uncertainty for 2013? Of which rightly so ‘Ol ‘Hobbo, aka David Hobbs said wryly “I believe Bernie enjoys winding us up...” To which Matchett chimed in whilst chuckling; “There’s only one Bernie!” As the part that left me scratchin’ meeze noggin was the fact why doesn’t anybody ever ask Mr. E the hard questions - like are you really gonna sue Gribkowsky? As I still say ‘Somme-thun doesn’t add up over Ecclestone admitting he paid Gerhard Gribkowsky $44-million in bribe money, but what for really? Which makes Bernie’s boasts all the more laughable...


And then there’s the delayed irony of next going to ‘BLOODY Silverstone - which was the sight of Constructor-roe, where the F1 Teams told sir maXXum, a.k.a. MAD Max Mosley to go pound sand over his showdown regarding his proposed Budget Cap formulae which the teams completely refused - which ultimately led to Mosley’s ouster as FIA president, not to mention his Fraulein spanking antics, Ja Volt!

Thus the irony? ‘Whale perhaps you’ve seen the headline of la Scuderia major domo Luca di Montezemolo pleading for immediate budget reforms to the sport of Formula 1 which ex-Ferrari boss Jean Todt, Mosley’s successor as head of the FIA has pledged to look into pronto... While Caterham’s chief technology officer Mike Gascoyne has also made the case for the FIA to introduce a budget cap - which wasn’t en vogue just some three summers ago. Then again is this just a shrewd way of trying to level the proverbial playing field?

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