Monday, November 13, 2023

F1: Farcical Qatar Grand Prix

No Uncle Bernaughty’, Max isn’t the Greatest! And why should I believe anything you say after your latest Tax Cheating scandal! For which I thoroughly enjoyed ‘Ol Martin Billybob’ Brundle give Yuhs the Mickey during His Sao Paulo Grid Walk…


Yeah, I know I’m late to thee party once again, but simply haven’t been able to Back-time posting this. And it still seems relevant since we’re off to another Desert, albeit I Don’t expect the same Heat issues in Nevada…


Thanks to Qatar being a night race, although it didn’t help much temperature wise! Which I’ll get to shortly. I was able to “watch”, Err listen to Qualie’, the Sprint race and the Grand Prix in their entirety here upon Ye West Coast, with action beginning at 9:55AM Pacific.


Although it’s always strange holding qualifying on a Friday, which once again MaxiMillions’ (Max Verstappen) claimed His tenth Pole position of the season, Yawn!


Although the Podium interviews was the funniest part of the whole weekend for Mwah! While the female “moderator” was interviewing then third place Oscar Piastri. She said mid sentence; we’ve just been told you’ve been demoted to sixth place for exceeding track linits, but it’s been lovely interviewing you…


Saturday’s Sprint race was enjoyable simply because the driver I’m becoming most intrigued upon, ergo rookie Aussie’ Oscar Piastri won.


Whilst I think it’s fitting that Verstappen won His third title during a Sprint race that was carried on ESPNews, Crickets?


But as everybody knows and probably remembers, it was the race circuit itself, along with the brutally Hot weather that garnered All of the Attenzinoe!


Being a brand new racing surface, the first time the fresh Ash-fault’ had been raced upon, along with the extreme temperatures, naturally the oil rose to the surface. As I thought I even heard Verstappen saying the track had Mucho “Slippery Liquids” upon it! As where are Yuhs Uncle Bobby? With Maximilian saing it made them look silly! Making me wonder if this was a contributor to the countless track limits violations?


While the pyramid shaped kerbs were worrying to Pirelli, with track limits being altered by simply painting them, along with Pirelli mandating a three stop race and a maximum of 18-laps on any tyre compound.


All of which made me immediately think of Michelin Gate! Y’all know that farcical 2005 United States Grand Prix at Indianapolis. Remember that Y’all?


And although overall this was handled much better. According to F1 Grizzled Journo’ Joe Saward, Pirelli had warned the FIA of these exact issues back in January.


With the maximum 18-lap strategy requiring drivers to go flat out and run Qualie’ laps every lap! Along with temperatures exceeding 50 Celcius in the cockpit = more than 122 degrees Fahrenheit with the race lasting One Hour and 28 minutes! It’s simply amazing we didn’t have any serious racing accidents due to the drivers physical conditions whilst roasting in this sauna for nearly ninety minutes!


Obviously you’ve heard or read about Lance Stroll, Esteban Ocon and both Williams drivers Heat related issues. Whilst I thought I heard Fernando Alonso asking for a bucket of cold water to be poured upon Him during His pit stop being denied over His In-car radio. Since I recall Sky Sports F1 lead presenter Kroftie’, aka David Kroft musing about the Ice Bucket challenge…


While Fernando’s Aston Martin teammate Lance Stroll gets some sort of award for worst behaved F1 driver of the weekend! Beginning on Friday when forcibly shoving His trainer out of His way when being instructed for the mandatory F1 driver weighing, after Lance had failed to advance out of Q1’.


Then Lance was one of two F1 drivers helped into an ambulance following the race. Wit the Kuhnuck’ later stating that He’d been drifting in and out of consciousness during the race due to His blood pressure dropping due to the extreme Heat!


With the FIA investigating Stroll for breech of driver “Etiquette” at Qatar, and it’ll be interesting to see if anything comes of this?


Naturally, Stroll got off with a Slap upon His Hand after apologizing to the FIA, and was simply given a reprimand…


Alpine’s Esteban Ocon revealed following the race that He’d vomited inside His Helmet twice during the race due to the excessive Heat!


While the Williams duo of Alex Albon and Logan Sargeant suffered the worst! As Albon also needed to be assisted to an ambulance immediately following the race before being treated for excessive Heat exposure! While Sargeant retired during the race while suffering from Dehydration due partially to having fought Flu-like symptoms during the Grand Prix weekend.


And Mercedes George Russell was spotted driving down the straights? With His Hands off of His steering wheel while trying to fan any shread of air to cool His body! And the list goes on and on. As Verstappen even joked about anybody needing a wheelchair? While Piastri laid on the Green rooms floor with McLaren teammate Lando Norris all waiting to go back out into the Heat for the podium celebrations…


As Norris, Russell and Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc All said that the race had hit the threshold for Heat and something needed to be done to ensure this not happening again!


Whilst many F1 Fans have called for Qatar to be scrapped. But we All know that Ain’t gona happen! Especially if the rumours of Liberty Media receiving $45 million per year for it’s ten years contract!


Since Liberty Media seems to agree with the former F1 Supremo Bernie Eccelstone about How the show must go On!


Oh Yeah, almost forgot. Max Verstappen won His third F1 World Championship in-a-row, Yawn! As can you say rinse, lather, repeat for the next two years? Thanks to engine development being “Frozen” for Red Bull’s benefit until the new E-E-E-lectricfied’ Power Units are introduced in 2026, Boring!