“Said get back Honky Cat! Yuhs Redneck, trying to
drink Whiskey from a bottle of Wine!”
At the Canamax World HQ’ in
Saltburn-by-the-Sea, the phones were rigging off the hook. One moment please
Mr. Duncan. Mr. Winchester, Gerrard Duncan’s on line three.
Good news Preston, the High court has ruled in
our favour against that scoundrel Truxbury. Although not entirely in our
favour…
As Lord Dennis ruled that Jonathan Truxbury was
in breech of contract and awarded us $22m Australian pounds. But said the
losses of $65m Australian pounds over Formula Libre loss of revenue is irrelevant
due to our hiring of multiple drivers to fill our vacated race seat.
AS I thought I told you to delete those
Sparto-Cuss messages of promising JT’ (Truxbury) a chance to be a Formula Libre
reserve driver. You do know that Elroid’s Geeks can read your encrypted
Sparto-Cuss account…
Therefore Preston, the Nabisco account portion
of the losses will have to be written off as a business expense, but we’ve won
the case overall, and Truxbury’s ruined!
Mr. Winchester, Mr. Lovett’s on line one. Yes
Mr. Lovett. Congratulations on winning your lawsuit Preston. I’d like to see
you in my office in Detroit please…
Audrey, I’ll be out of the office a few days,
I’m going to Detroit to see Mr. Lovett. And then I’ll swing over to Brownsburg
to check-in with Hugo (Marques) and the Armani Canamax Boyz. Before we fly down
to Fort Lauderdale for the Champ Car season opener.
Hon, Julian. Does this suit make me look fat?
As Russell Lovett’s summoned me to His Detroit office. What’s that? Wear the
paisley coloured Armani suit, thanks Jil’.
Russell Lovett was in His mid-70’s with snow white hair, inquisitive
azure blue eyes and a neatly trimmed goatee. He was the proprietor of a vast
business empire for which many called Him the Commodore for His firm grasp of
business. And His Lovett Industries owned the Champ Car series amongst other
holdings…
Sit down Preston, thanks for coming. Now I know
you won your drawn-out lawsuit and you really wish to break JT’. But I think
it’s a bad “Optic” for our sport.
I’ve already spoken to Chester Betuzi and
Jonathan Truxbury. And Chester says He’ll pay you one million British Sterling
for each year of your squabble. And that He’ll garnish Truxbury’s wages until
the amount’s paid off in full to you. Do we have a deal Preston? As I’ve
already scheduled the conciliatory press releases to be sent out the morning of
the Fort Lauderdale season opener…
Armani Canamax’s lead Champ Car driver Adrian
Ozwaldo, Nicolas Brenner and Brian Boxer had a fairly typical outing in Fort
Lauderdale. With the Finn Brenner finishing on the podium ahead of Argentine
Ozwaldo. While Boxer languished down in 23rd once again. Yet it was that G-Damn
Truxbury winning by a country mile and making the whole Champ Car field look
silly!
Billy Jo Bradshaw and His wife Bianca had flown
to Jolly ‘Ol London to meet with King Henry and His latest wife Veronica.
Although Bianca found it very cold in the Castle, and Billy Jo wasn’t impressed
with the dark tapestries…
Thus they decided upon a last minute visit to
Winfred’s estate in nearby Tolkenshire. As Winferd had been boasting about some
contraption he uses every morning to help Him feel invigorated.
As Preston was showing off His Cryogenic
Chamber, saying just 15 seconds in the morning and I’m invigorated the entire
day. Never feeling sleepy or nodding off during meetings…
Upstairs, Bianca was asking Jillian how She got
that black eye? Oh, I tripped on our dog Lilly. And when Bianca told Billy Joe,
He said well just let me have Christina (Nomeski) drop by and She’ll take care
of your dog for you. Christina Hates Dogs…
Next, the Winchester’s gave the Bradshaw’s a
guided tour of the Canamax Technology Centre, where Billy Joe was more
interested in the platters of Nutter Butter and triple fudge stuffed Oreo
cookies in the canteen, than the various racecars on display. Before the
Bradshaw’s had to “Jet” off back to the Everglades.
Audrey, tell Roscoe Snow to contact His Dad and
have Him meet me at the usual place. Yeah, I know, we really should put Cletus
on the payroll…
Hello Snowman, yeah we’re starting to become
regulars here. Yes, I already ordered Hushpuppies to go for Butch.
I need you to go to Weehawken again. Usual
arrangement, the white Cascadia sleeper cab will be awaiting you. As I need you
to deliver a truckload of our Aqua tyre minerale to Miami International
Airport.
Just ask Security, they’ll know what to do. Its
for a friends plane. As the Bhermodians gave Him one of their Comet 480 Double
Decker Jets. But the Florida marsh water has gunked up all of the gold faucets.
Then back up to Weehawken to pick-up a double
trailer load of Nabisco products. Yeah, we’re still trying to get rid of them!
The first lady had decided to hold the annual
Easter Eg hunt on the Palace’s front lawn. Nah, it doesn’t matter if they’re
past their sell-by dates, they’re for the children…
But take your time, as may be you should drop
by your relatives in Bucksnort. As they’re having a royal problem with
infestions! Even though they built a fence around the garden. Those pesky
Armilla Stencha Bugitoes are just getting in everywhere. So they’re having a
few Helicopters fumigate the lawn.
Yeah, your son Roscoe’s bringing up one of our
older Champ Cars, along with a Formula Libre Showcar and last year’s winning Thundrdome
V8 Outback series championship winner. As Billy Joe’s a real fan of old fashion
pushrod V-8 technology.
Hugo, I need you to come up to the Potomac in
Maryland and 1200 Chattanooga Avenue, and bring all of our current racing
drivers.
Yes, pick-up (Canamax Formula Libre drivers)
Charlie (Little) and Harry (Pastorini) at La Guardia, the limousine will be
waiting for you. As the Bradshaw’s want to meet the drivers and have them pass
out Easter “goodies” to the children allowed to attend Sunday’s car show on the
Palace’s lawn.
Your Highness, perhaps you remember shaking
Charlie Little’s hand last year during the Miami Grand Prix? Yes, you brought
Him good luck, as He won the drivers title. And this is our second driver Harry
Pastorini, He’s from Alice Springs. No, its in Australia, its Sheep country…
What’s that Billy Joe? You’re not a fan of the
new 50% pure lithium ion Energizer Bunny racecars we’re using this year? Oh, I
didn’t know you followed motor racing…
What’s that? You’ve had the gardeners did up
the front lawn and install a nine hole golf course? Absolutely, Charlie, Harry
and myself would love to play a round of putt-putt golf with you Billy Joe! No,
I don’t think the kids should be a problem, as they’ll all probably be running
round silly from the sugar high those Nabisco products give them.
And if we Hit one of them, well, just think of
the story they’ll have for their lifetime. And besides, Y’all got good Health
insurance, right?
FOUR!
What’s that El Presedente? You and Bianca have
set up a charity for Special Needs Children, how kind of you. And donors can
either choose (faux) Faberge egg tokens or (Fools) Gold Bunny statues…
Nah, there’s no
way that shot will Hit that Champ Car, nice swing Billy Joe!
Yeah, that Dogleg near the Ballroom’s got a
wicked hook to it! Uhm, Mr. Bradshaw, I found your Elitest No. 1 golf ball next
to the Rose Garden…
That’s ok Billy Joe. Don’t worry, we’ll put a
new mirror on Bryan’s (Boxer) racecar when we get back to the shop. Besides that’s
His last year’s backup chassis…
FOUR!
For the previous
Canamax Capers installment. Please visit the following No Fenders link below.
