F1 Back in the USSR

As we already know, Vitaly Petrov is set to become the very first ever “Rooskie” to compete in Formula 1 when the Russian debutant takes his place upon the starting grid in Bahrain…

Thus it should come as little surprise that ‘Mother Russia has also struck a deal with Petrov’s Team Renault to provide signage of Russia’s Automotive brand Lada, as after all Renault previously purchased a 25% stake in Lada’s parent company Avtovaz for $1 billion in 2008, with Russia seeking to improve its automobile production capabilities, as Renault is set to introduce several models in Russia, hoping to take advantage of the countries own Cash for Clunkers program which has just begun… As Renault’s cooperative effort will boost Lada plant production to 160,000 vehicles annually, as Renault competes against Ford for the valuable market share.

Lada will be featured on the Renault R30 chassis along with Vitaly Petrov’s ‘Kit, i.e.; overalls & crash bucket, yet the Reggie’s sidepods still seem to have an abundance of sponsorship space available, although I’d expect this to be somewhat remedied this weekend, eh?

Meanwhile, also hoping to cash in on the veritable Ruble bonanza between Renault and Russia is none other then Uncle Bernaughty, (Ecclestone) who hopes for further backing of his sport by Vladimir Putin will enable him to finally crack the Iron Curtain and get his long sought after Moscow Grand Prix installed…

F1: 2010 launch - Renault

(Renault R30; Source: Joe Saward’s Grand Prix blog)

The “Reggie” broke cover on its new R30 Racecar at Valencia, displaying a newer shade of yellow, harkening back to the auto manufacturers days as a true Constructor during the late 1970’s – early ‘80’s with its yellow ‘N black livery.

Also breaking cover at the new launch was the much anticipated signing of the Team’s second Driver, as Renault saw fit to go with Rookie Vitaly Petrov, who’ll be the very first Russian to race in Formula 1… And it didn’t hurt either that he reputedly comes with a $21m cheque!

2010 Car launch: Renault R30

R30 in pictures

Not so fast Flavio

In case you haven’t heard, the FIA has decided to appeal the Tribunal de Grande Instance’s court ruling which overturned its Ban against the HMS Monogram (Flavio Briatore) and Pat Symonds, as otherwise NOBODY will have been prosecuted for this NASTY affair, as after all FB’s track record surely speaks for itself, eh?

FIA to appeal Briatore verdict

SAAB’s Genie in a bottle?

So I found the recent news regarding one of GM’s SAAB bidders to be most intriguing… Even if it smacks of a most alarming Conflict of Interest to my thinking, when it was divulged that ‘Uncle Bernaughty & ‘Genii Capital were in cahoots in an attempt to purchase the forlorn Saab Automotive Company! As in a one Mr. Bernard Ecclestone & Gerard Lopez were hoping to scoop-up the Swedish Auto manufacturer for a song from ‘GOV’t MOTORS, Err General Motors, once the world’s Numero Uno Automobile producer, but I digress.

Reportedly GM, who’s (pathetically) tried divesting itself of its brands Hummer,Saturn and Vauxhall/ Opel along with killing off the Pontiac nameplate, initially spurned Dutch carmaker Spyker’s bid. Remember them? They were the parent company of that minnow-esqe Dutch orange Formula 1 Team that evolved into Force India… While GM balked on Spyker’s bid since their backing was to come from the “Rooskies!” As GM had also nixed its sale of Vauxhall/Opel to Canada’s Magna Group who was in bed with Smirbank of you guessed it! Mother Russia…

Yet GM thus extended the bidding window to last Thursday in order to quietly consider three/four potential offers for SAAB (depending on various news agencies) from Emperor Bernardo/G. Lopez, Spyker and other undivulged entities, albeit Alix Partners has been hired by GM in order to wind-down their much unloved Redheaded Step-child.

Bernie Ecclestone revs up for one final joyride

.and don’t get me wrong, as I think it would be great if SAAB was rescued, even better yet if by Bernie ‘N the Genie, since this could potentially lead to the Quirky Carmaker’s renaissance by Badge Engineering the Swede’s nameplate into F1 in the near future; say 2013 or so when Renault pulls the plug?

BUTT! If I were David Richards I think I’d be a little peeved about the cozy relationship Emperor Bernardo has cultivated for his personal gain while leaving the Englishman frozen outta the F1 landscape.

Then again perhaps Uncle Bernaughty could install the HMS Monogram (Flavio Briatore) as SAAB’s new CEO, since after all he’s a Free Agent once again, eh?

Boullier joins Renault

While the HMS Monogram sets sail toward new Ports ‘O interest, the ‘Genie-ii (GenII) controlled Renault Formula 1 Team has just installed, Err confirmed Eric Boullier as its new Team Principal, yuhs know; the former post Flavour Flav frequented…

The 36yr old Frenchman, who currently was in charge of Gravity Sports Agency; has previously run A1GP Team France from 2007-09, along with a long established career with DAMS in Formula 3000 & GP2, having worked with many notable drivers and hopes to instill some new young blood into the Reggie’s flagging operation in Formula 1…

Flav gets his revenge?

In case you haven’t heard, the French Tribunal de Grande Instance ruled on Tuesday that the FIA does NOT have the power to impose a “Lifetime Ban” upon Flavio Briatore, and thus overturned the World Motor Sport council’s (WMSC: The FIA’s Whipping Boyz) ruling against the illustrious ‘flavour Flav, of whom I enjoy grizzled F1 “Journo” Joe Saward’s non de plum better; as Mr. Saward has cleverly taken up calling the cocky Italian: HMS Monogram… Something to do about Flav’s swelled cranium and starched white shirts emblazoned with FB on the cuffs, eh?

And although the Tribunal de Grande Instance of Paris has issued its ruling in favour of Briatore and his Lt. General Pat Symonds, both having their respective bans overturned, along with requiring the FIA to announce in the pairs French Newspaper of choice, the court was none to sympathetic to the couples monetary demands, effectively awarding them one-tenth of the Dinero the duo were seeking; with Briatore being awarded $14,700 & Symonds $7,200, while leaving Jean Todt and the FIA pondering just exactly how they’ll respond to the overly egregious acts commiserated by the ex-Renault duo.

Flavio Briatore wins court case against FIA

Meanwhile the HMS Monogram, having seen a gust of salt breeze fluff up its sails, thus has reloaded its cannons as it prepares to volley the next round of salvos towards the HMS Self Righteous of sir maXXum, a.k.a. (MAD) Max Mosley and the HMS Piquet I & HMS Nielsen-Ho…

As Flav has joyously hinted upon taking legal action upon the Piquet’s and perhaps F1 Piloto’s Heikki Kovalainen & Lucas Di Grassi for jumping ship… Hmm? Mr. Briatore, I believe that Nelson Piquet Jr. could very easily go after you for slander, eh? (A very NASTY statement about his sexual preferences…)

Meanwhile Flavour Flav took no time in firmly planting his boot into Maxine’s backsides, upon the news that his current Supermodel wife (30yrs his junior), Elisabetta Gregoraci Is expecting the couples first baby (Flavio’s second child), by commenting they’d certainly NOT be naming it Max; Tsk, Tsk!

While I’m awaiting to hear prattle ‘bout its unknown who’ll be Spanking which Baby in the Briatore residence, eh?

But seriously, it seems the worst part of the whole ‘Crash-gate Scandal is the fact that Nelson Piquet Sr. first reported the situation to the FIA’s Technical Delegate Charlie Whiting a mere 5wks after it initially happened, you know; circa 2008! Oh, and by the way… Let’s not forget whose one of Flavio’s business partners, eh? Can you say Uncle Bernaughty?

Renault staying put for now

And the Hits just keep on rolling… As another day, another announcement, as its been rumoured that the “Reggie” may be potentially selling its Formula 1 Team now for several weeks, as originally David Richards was thought to be in the “Catbird’s” seat…

Yet, Richards and his Prodrive Operation have been thwarted from the F1 Paddock once again with today’s announcement that Renault has sold a majority stake of its F1 Franchise to Genii Capital, a private Luxemburg company with multiple interests in Technology, Marketing and Sports,

Yet the French owned Team will retain its Renault name for the 2010 season along with providing its V-8 “Lumps” to 2009 Constructors runner-up’s Red Bull Racing.

Genii Capital is run by 37yr old Gerard Lopez, who made part of his fortunes when his Mangrove Capital Partners company got in on the ground floor of backing the internets service known as Skype.

Thus I’m assuming that “The Krakow Kid” (Robert Kubica) will remain as the Reggie’s (namesake) lead driver, while NO word on who’ll partner him as China’s Ho-Pin Tung may be one candidate?

I just hope that his Gravity Sport Management company Isn’t the same company that “Stiffed” Sarah Fisher last year, eh? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist that!)

Renault to sell? Sauber confirmed

There are numerous reports today that Renault will most likely sell its Formula 1 Team to David Richard’s Prodrive Operation, in which would allow Prodrive to occupy larger, newer premises and finally compete in F1.

Meanwhile the FIA has just confirmed Peter Sauber as the 13th and final Constructor for the 2010 Formula 1 season, contingent upon BMW Sauber signing the Concorde Agreement, as I for one am very pleased with this turn of events vs. the rogue Stefan Grand Prix scuttlebutt…

Flav trial begins

“Flavour Flav’s” (Flavio Briatore) trial to overturn his lifetime ban from all FIA Motorsports activity was held in a French court yesterday, with very little news reporting upon it besides the announcement that the Court’s ruling will be handed down on January 5th, 2010.

The 59yr old Italian is seeking $1m Euros in damages to his reputation along with having the ban lifted in order for him to resume his racing related activities, most notably managing his current flock of F1 Piloto’s, while I believe that his Lieutenant Pat Symonds, who refused a immunity deal during the initial “Crash-Gate” proceedings and instead was given a five year ban from Motorsports has also joined the lawsuit.

So does this mean we’ll now have to wait until early January to learn Renault’s future?

Three Amigos?

NOT! As ironically, once again it appeared that the hands of fate had intertwined the lives of Fernando Alonso, Kimi raikkonen and Michael Schumacher, of which it seems, was brought up during the just completed Japanese GP by Bob Varsha, whilst I finally had an opportunity to watch the Italian edition of Inside Grand Prix which chronicled the TERMINATOR’s near comeback…

Schuey gives up
As many of us anxiously awaited the return of Michael Schumacher to Scuderia Ferrari at the European Grand Prix, it was entertaining to note that first Williams and then Red Bull & Toro rosso all (adamantly) nixed the idea of letting Herr Schumacher get some seat time in Ferrari’s 2009 challenger, the F60, sighting how the current rules forbid any in-season testing and how Scuderia Toro Rosso’s rookie Jaime Alguersuari wasn’t allowed to do so prior to his Hungaroring debut.

Yet sadly, after having found himself behind the wheel of a privately owned Ferrari Clientente F2007, with “current GP2 spec” Slicks on it pounding about Mugello for 67 laps, Michael’s severely injured neck simply wasn’t able to withstand the rigours of a modern days Formula 1 chassis G-Loading and was forced to cancel his planned comeback, which was mightily disappointing to many around the globe, as the Tiafosi salivated at seeing the Ferrari God once again behind the wheel of one of their beloved rosso chariots.

Alonso to Ferrari
This was a long standing rumour which just wouldn’t go away… as mounting speculation continued to suggest that “Ferdi the Putz” (Alonso) had been inked to a pre-contract signing with the Scuderia to replace “The Kimster” (Raikkonen) in 2010 as Felipe Massa’s new teammate, in a deal eerily similar to Herr Schumacher’s farce majeure, where a la Williams dealings with Messer’s Mansell, Prost & Senna, saw some of the sport’s greatest simply unwilling to share the limelight with their contemporaries, nee arch rivals.

As it appears that Schuey was finally presented with the fact that he’d be paired with a younger Finnish teammate (Raikkonen) who could potentially beat him in equal machinery and thus decided to reluctantly call it a day in F1 a la Williams revolving cast of Grand Prix Superstars.

Thus, almost the entire Formula 1 Paddock seems to believe that it’s a done deal with Ferrari having switched its season ending party to Valencia and Spanish mega banking concern Banco Santander becoming Ferrari’s sponsor in 2010, (As this badly kept secret has just been confirmed at Monza with Ferrari announcing a five year deal having been struck.) Thus it seems to imply that it’s most certain that Alonso is set to arrive shortly.

Kimi going Rallying?
Then of course there was the most entertaining rumour suggesting that FIAT will start a new WRC Rally team next year allowing Maranello to transfer Raikkonen to the World Rally Championship in order to make way for Alonso’s arrival; of which I’d personally welcome, as it’d be an added boost to the WRC, which is sadly lacking for competition currently…

And thus, if such things do occur, where the Kimster is either persuaded or forced out to make room for the Spaniard, it would be an ironic parallel to the Finn’s own career path to the Scuderia, as Raikkonen first replaced the retiring Mika Hakkinen at McLaren, before filling the even larger “Schues” of Herr Schumacher at Ferrari… Although Kimi claims he AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE!!! Next season, since he’s got a contract to race for Ferrari in F1 alongside Felipe Massa, who seemingly has made a miraculous full recovery from his horrifying accident in Budapest and is set to return to full racing action for the Scuderia in 2010.

Yet, as Y’all know… Fredrico Suave (Alonso) has now been confirmed at Ferrari beginning in 2010 for 3yrs with an allotment of extensions available for the paltry sum of $25m (Euros) per season, as Massa’s new teammate, while Kimi will most likely return to McLaren next season as Lewis Hamilton’s new teammate, with Michael Schumacher continuing his role as Felipe’s mentor…

Kubica signs with Renault

As expected, now that Crash Gate has settled down, and lead “Reggie” driver Fredrico Suave has been signed as the Kimster’s replacement at Scuderia Ferrari… Renault has announced the signing of Robert Kubica as its lead driver for its 2010 F1 campaign, while the jury is still out on whether or not Romain Grosjean will retain his seat next year.

Oh Bernie, you’re such a Comedian!

Don’t know if Y’all saw Uncle Bernaughties coyish comments about how his good buddy and business partner… On how the recently disgraced Flavour Flav (Briatore) should fight his infinite ban from FIA Motorsports activities… Oh Bernie, you’re such a Hoot! Hmm? Wonder if this is little more then window dressing to appease their long standing friendship or open the door for future enterprise?

Ecclestone urges Briatore to appeal life ban

Meanwhile you’ve just gotta “LUV” the comments from fellow drivers in relation to “Nielsen Ho’s” (Piquet Jr.) getting off “Scot-free,” especially the “Krakow Kid’s” zinger…

Robert Kubica:
“Normally, if you go the police and you say you killed someone but you know someone else who killed three people, you will still go to jail."

And that about pretty much sums up the whole tawdry affair, with whispers now reputedly hypothesizing that the FIA’s “Witness X” could be none other then Fred Alonso? As I’d like to think we’ve heard the last of this matter, unless Nelson Piquet Jr. somehow miraculously shows-up upon the 2010 F1 grid, eh?

Renault gets off Again!

Whale by now I’m guessing Y’all have heard that Renault has once again escaped any majorly harsh penalties in response to its acknowledgement of participating in the 2008 Singapore “Crash Gate” Scandal…

Having only received a two year suspended ban or as so eloquently put by Pressdog… Double Secret Probation, which means didly-squat…

With the Ax instead falling upon Team Principal “Flavour Flav” (Briatore) and Director of Engineering Pat Symonds, with Flavio being effectively banned for life, while Symonds receives a 5yr ban, both from Motorsport, as the Reggie duo is henceforth banned from any FIA sanctioned activities.

Briatore is the most severely affected, as the FIA will NO longer grant him any access to any of its activities, i.e.; races, etc. along with not renewing any driver Super licenses of participants under his management. Also not sanctioning any Motorsports series he’s presently involved in, which I assume means he’ll be vanquished from GP2 and could theoretically lose his position in the Queens Park Rangers, with Symonds being merely shunned from the sport for the following five years, while Nelson Piquet Jr. is immune from prosecution, and Fernando Alonso has been cleared of having any knowledge of said Crash Gate doings…

Renault gets suspended disqualification

And thus it looks like Flavio potentially decided to mistakenly fire his number two driver, along with taking on the Piquet’s, eh?

According to the WMSC, the Renault F1 Team has acknowledged the following during the court proceedings:
“It committed to paying the costs incurred by the FIA in its investigation; and; Renault (the parent company, as opposed to Renault F1) committed to making a significant contribution to FIA safety-related projects.”

Hmm? Isn’t it interesting how the mere threat of another Automotive Manufacturer walking from the pee-knuckle ‘O Sport can sway a Court’s decision, especially when ruling upon a French company in France… So DON’T uze be fixin’ NO more races yuh hear Renault? Or will actually have to do something about it… And just exactly what amount is “A Sizeable Contribution…” $100 Million?

Yet I suppose its worth considering that Renault is not only a current F1 Constructor, they also supply engines to Red Bull Racing, (currently) along with being the motivating factor behind GP2, not to mention the lower formula’s of Clio cup, Formula Renault and World Series by Renault, along with reportedly having the best young driver’s (F1) development program...

Ooh-lah-lah, Sei la Vie!

Good Riddance Flavio!

I have been loathe to scribble ‘bout Flavour Flav’s latest detestable Mud slinging techniques regarding making STUPID accusations about Nelson Piquet Jr.’s personal life, which I first learned about on the Speed Freaks this past Sunday… Of which I’ll say NO more about on that tawdry subject…

Yet, in the never ending seesaw battle royale over the Renault “Crash-gate” DEBACLE! Its now been widely reported that Renault Technical Director Pat Symonds has been offered immunity from prosecution (as Symonds FIA interview has been published in the UK’s Times and doesn’t put him in a favourable light…) in order to go after removing Flavio Briatore as Team Principal of the “Reggie’s” Formula 1 outfit. With further speculation suggesting that Alain Prost could be recruited as Flav’s replacement? Although I find this far fetched since how’d that Prost Grand Prix F1 team do?

And isn’t it ironic that nobody has ever seemed to think there’s a partial conflict of interest between Bernie Ecclestone, Flavio and Alejandro Agag co-owning the Queens Park Rangers Football Club. (QPR FC) Which certainly isn’t a secret between the F1 Team Bosses. (Obviously?) Although Agag has since been replaced by current QPR Chairman Briatore, while Agag has taken over the 2008 GP2 Championship winners Barwa Addax Team, which was previously owned by Adrian Campos, who’ll be one of the FIA’s new 2010 F1 Constructors…

Then again, Flavio’s removal would grease the skids to take over for Uncle Bernaughty whenever the 78yr old Britain seemingly retires, eh?

Life Goes On

Update
So there’s nothing like waking up in the morning and reading the AP Newswire report stating that Flavio and Pat Symonds have left Renault; Aye-Aye-Aye! Furthermore, Renault has now said that it will NOT dispute Piquet Junior’s claim into “Crash-gate” prior to the upcoming court date next Monday; HOLY SHIT! And Sir maXXum – remember him? Mosley’s claim of the worst case being throwing Renault out of F1 forever sounds like a case for leniency is already being crafted…

Renault splits with Briatore, Symonds

But then again; Alls fair in Love ‘N War, Eh?

Sour grapes

So I’m assuming that by now Y’all heard that the Renault F1 Team has been summoned to appear in front of the World Motor Sport council (WMSC) on September 21st over the allegations of purposely ordering Nelson Piquet Jr. to crash his race car in order to enable Fernando Alonso to win the inaugural Singapore Grand Prix and give the “Reggie” a needed publicity boost after having not won a race in nearly two years… As Renault has been being investigated by the FIA since the Spa weekend when a Brazilian TV station ran a story on the matter.

Of course the person in the spotlight seemingly is “Nielsen Ho” (Piquet Jr.) who after being unceremoniously dumped by the team has gone on the warpath against ex-Boss “Flavour Flav” (Briatore) by likening him to a Dictator and careening on about not getting equal treatment whilst racing alongside double World Champion “Fredrico Suave.” (Alonso)

And although I’m certain this is possible, HELL even most certain it occurred; Earth to Nelson, you’re a Formula 1 Rookie and he’s a two time World Champion! So get over it! As I’m in the middle of Professor Steve Matchett’s second book and couldn’t believe how this seems quite similar to Renault’s previous incarnation, nee Benetton, when a one Mr. Michael Schumacher was routinely given the nod over his Number 2 teammates… So perhaps Piquet Junior will wish to give Rubino a call on his mobile and see if the Brazilian is willing to let his countryman cry on his shoulder?

Meanwhile, I’m really not sure what to say on the matter, as Renault/Benetton seemingly have a long track record of infidelities when it comes to the Sporting “Regs” and it’ll be interesting to see how the WMSC handles the matter if indeed they decide that Renault and Flavio are guilty of breeching the sporting codes Article 151C, of which McLaren was previously fined a monstrous $100 million a few seasons ago, while Renault got off with a slap on the wrist for previously breeching the rules…

While it’s quite hard to think that the team would go to such dubious lengths and if found to have done so will certainly put another black mark upon the sport, eh? One must wonder what the proverbial fallout would be for the Enstone based squad, which hopefully will remain in F1 for the foreseeable future; not only as an engine supplier, but a constructor…

Grosjean promoted

As expected, now that the “Reggie” has paid off the “Cigarette Girls” and gotten reinstated for this weekend’s European GP, current Renault test driver Romain Grosjean has been announced as recently SACKED Nelson Piquet Jr.’s replacement for the remainder of the season.

And I find it especially funny how the Press Release broke the news; as they say the best defense is a good offense… As Flavor Flav (F. Briatore) was all Hugs ‘N Kisses in wishing Nelson Ho all the best in his newest endeavors… Just don’t forget who the boss is - Sunshine!

Renault wins appeal

Apparently the “Powers to Be” have decided that with the absence of Michael Schumacher’s hoped for comeback dashed and Spain’s largest Formula 1 driver potentially sitting in some luxury box with King Juan Carlos, the FIA’s Court of Appeals has decided to overturn the Hungarian race stewards one race ban imposed upon Renault for the error of sending Fred Alonso out of the pits with an unsecured front tyre which was last seen bouncing down the race track just one day after Felipe Massa’s horrible shunt…

Thus Renault has been reinstated for the upcoming European GP and simply had their knuckles wrapped and fined $50,000 Euros for their indiscretion… A la Red Bull Racing when telling Sebastian Vettel to continue on after his coming together with Robert Kubica in Australia…

Renault penalized

In the wake of the past two Open Wheel accidents involving Henry surtees and Felipe Massa, Renault has been handed a one race suspension by the FIA after Hungarian GP pole sitter Fernando Alonso’s front wheel departed his R29 and went careening down the race track, after apparently not having its wheel nut attached properly during the team’s first pit stop.

The ban is to be served during the next race, the European Grand Prix in Valencia, Spain, which happens to be one of two races promoting the Spanish racing star and two time World Champion…

Talk about a race promoter’s nightmare, eh? Uhm, Mr. Ecclestone, I’d really like to be able to recoup some of the millions I’ve paid you to host your F1 circus, could you please give Maxie a ring and see if he can do something?

Of course, perhaps the Country’s sanctioning body could instruct Renault to pull a Benetton… As my memory seems to recall that a one Michael Schumacher was enabled to race in his home Grand Prix (Hockenheim) under an appeal of his previous race ban for having passed Damon Hill on the warm-up lap in Britain, some 15 years ago. As this penalty does indeed seem to be the knee jerk reaction that Ross Brawn cautioned against…

Good luck Flavur Flav (Briatore) in getting your “Home Boy” reinstated… Hmm? And rumours suggest that Renault’s number two driver Nelson Piquet Jr. is outta a ride, so who’ll be driving the “Reggie’s” cars in Valencia, eh?

Renault R29

Also taking the wraps off of its newest challenger at the new Portugal circuit, was the ING-Renault team, as the “Reggie” rolled out its 2009 challenger, the R29 at Portimao, alongside Williams on January 19th. Test/Reserve Driver Romain Grosjean was given the duties of shaking down the brand new R29, of which some cynics have suggested could see Ronal McDonald becoming one of its future F1 Piloto’s, due to the garishly familiar burnt orange colours of Le Happy Meal! Hmm? Let’s see, there’s already the Hamburgular floating around the paddock for Scuderia Toro Rosso... So, if Nelson-Nelson doesn’t cut the Gray Poupon this season, could we see a Sea Bass at the Reggie? (Although it’s been claimed that Bourdais came to America partly since he didn’t wish to be micro-managed by Flavour Flav...) But I digress...

Reportedly, the development of the new R29 was thwarted by the chassis failing the mandatory FIA crash test, of which I’m assuming its since passed, as both Fredrico Suave (F. Alonso) and Nelson-Melson (N. Piquet Jr.) have also put in testing laps in Portugal, when the weather permitted and the R29 will be helped significantly by the FIA’s granting of engine upgrades in order to bring its competitiveness on par with the top three teams.

And before you shed a tear for Williams deepening sponsor woes, take note that Renault’s title sponsor ING isn’t exactly immune from the credit crunch either...

Trouble at ING

Launch notes

Renault to upset the Apple cart?

Apparently Renault has reportedly been stirring the pot over the IDIOTIC Standardized engine proposal of Sir Maxxum, a.k.a. MAD Max Mosley, as an Italian newspaper claimed they were considering switching to the Cosworth spec engine...

ING Renault F1:
“Speculation that appeared this morning in the Italian press, the ING Renault F1 Team would like to state that the positions of the Team and Renault are in complete accordance to those of the FOTA. We would like to point out that neither Mr. Briatore nor Renault have spoken to the press regarding this matter before this official press release.”
(Source: Motorsport.com)

Therefore, Renault is going to keep its own lumps behind the backsides of both 2009 drivers and will not utilize the Standardized Spec engine in 2010...

Meanwhile Fernando Alonso and Nelson Piquet Jr. wrapped up testing at Jerez with “Fredrico” setting the 6th quickest time on Day 3 after amassing some 120+ laps, with “Nelson-Nelson” nipping at his heels, only 0.40 seconds behind...

Here’s Flavio

Danny B;
“When Paul McCartney wrote money can't buy me love, HE WAS WRONG…”

In the wake of last weeks horrible news regarding the death of Renault R & D Engineer William Miller, I thought a little good news was warranted for the Enstone based Formula 1 outfit, a.k.a. Renault F1.

And why yes, I know that this is a little dated… But nevertheless Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B sent me the following story about F1’s prima Donna Playboy, a.k.a. Flavour Flav (Flavio Briatore) getting married to 28 year-old Italian Super model Elisabetta Gregoraci...

Be careful Flav, Sir Maxxum may have somme-thun to say ‘bout being Top Cheese in the Playboy department, eh? Although Flavio isn’t immune to having the “Beauty’s” tripping all over him as his past includes trysts with Naomi Campbell, Adriana Volpe and Heidi Klum, whom had his daughter, Helene "Leni" Klum in May, 2004, but according to Klum; “Flav is not involved in the child's life.” Aye Karumba…

Reports claim that the newlyweds were chauffeured to and from the wedding chapel by none other than Double World Champion Fredrico Suave. (F. Alonso) Of which immediately made me flash back to when some Seven Time World Champion pulled chauffeuring duties for one of the Scuderia’s heavyweights… As in Michael Schumacher donning tuxedo and cap for Luca di Montezemolo... To which I can only say; Yo, Flavour Flay, you’r NO Luca di Montezemolo. So get over it!

Renault F1 internship

The following information was previously sent to the No Fenders mailbox and although I’ve never heard of the Altran Engineering Academy, they sound like a very interesting outfit who are offering a once in a lifetime opportunity, which sounds absolutely fantastic to me! I only wish that they had something similar for aspiring scribes like your humble servant, eh? Here’s the skinny…

Altran - ING Renault F1 Team technological partnership
How do we respond to changes in engine regulations; how do we improve the chassis’ aerodynamic performance? High-level expertise is required in so many different fields. Altran has been supporting the Renault F1 Team since 2002, providing talented engineers in a variety of specialities, including computation, information technology, electronics, logistics and quality control. They contribute their skills to chassis in Enstone, UK, and to engines in Viry-Châtillon, near Paris. The Altran experts are driven not only by the human and sporting adventure, but by the technological challenge as well. Earlier this year, the partnership was extended to the end of 2010.

Thus, in it’s partnership with ING Renault F1 Team, Altran has just launched the 5th issue of the Altran Engineering Academy.

Like the four young champions who came before, the future winner of the Altran Engineering Academy will join the R&D department of the ING Renault F1 Team in September 2008 for a six-month internship. Before that happens, the winner will go through a rigorous selection process, from submitting an application (deadline: May 15, 2008) to the Final Presentation on June 30th in Enstone, UK.
Applicants must submit a case study in the realm of Formula 1, then explain how they will conduct their project over the six months.

Candidates can enter from March 3rd till May 15th on the official website at: ttp://www.altran-academy.com/

Applicants must be last-year students or recent graduates of a university or prestigious school specialising in science or technology. To enter the competition, candidates must submit a project, describing in 500 words a technological innovation in one of the following eight Formula 1 disciplines: aerodynamics, power-train, race and test engineering, design and analysis, vehicle dynamics, control systems and electronics, R&D of materials, transducers and test technology.
The winner will be selected from a field of nine finalists from around the world who will present their projects this summer to a jury of experts chaired by Robin Tuluie, the ING Renault F1 Team’s R&D manager, at the team’s Enstone facilities.


About Altran
Altran is the European leader in innovation consulting and high technology. The Group’s 17,500 consultants, operating worldwide, cover the entire range of engineering specialities, including electronics, information technology, quality and organisation. Altran offers its clients ongoing support throughout the innovation cycle, from technology watch, applied basic research and management consulting to industrial systems engineering and information systems. The Group provides services to most industries, including the automotive, aeronautics, space and telecommunications sectors. Founded in 1982, Altran operates in 20 priority countries. In 2001, it generated a turnover of €1,591.4 million…

Piquet Jr playing second fiddle?

So, after last year’s showing up of Fredrico Suave by F1’s undisputed rookie of the year Lewis “Jaguar” Hamilton, some of the assorted media hacks are wondering how Ferdi the Putz will do against his newest teammate.

Nelson Piquet Jr, who finished runner-up to Hamilton in GP2 in 2006 and has spent the past year as Renault’s test and reserve driver, while itching to land himself a race drive, which Flavour Flav had promised him.

Thus it’s entertaining to hear this year’s Indy 500 pace car pilot and fellow countryman Emerson Fittipaldi claim that Piquet junior will give the two time world champion Spaniard fits, as Emmo was quoted telling Italian newspaper Gazzetta dello Sport.

“Nelsinho will be worse for Fernando Alonso than Lewis Hamilton [was],”

“Nelsinho is an excellent driver, is very fast and in the past year has completed more than 15,000km of testing with Renault.

“For all these reasons I believe that he will give more problems [than Hamilton, to Alonso].”

And although the winter Olympics (testing) shouldn’t be taken too seriously, nevertheless Alonso has had the upper hand over the youn Nelsinho, so it’ll be interesting to see just who gets the upper hand at the Reggie this season…

Renault R28

Like Honda, Renault’s newest challenger, the R28 also first broke cover at Valencia testing before having its official launch in Paris on January 31st. Of course Flavour Flav (Briatore) Fredrico Suave (Alonso) Nelson Piquet Jr. and test and reserve driver Roman Grosjean were all on hand to give the dreaded PR speak, you know when everybody says how great the new car is, how optimistic they feel towards the upcoming season, blah-blah-blah.

Of course Renault is definitely counting on Ferdi the Putz to push the Reggie further up the grid back into the winners (whiners?( circle and ultimately contest for this years drivers title…

Here comes the Bride-Postscript

Talk about your incentive to come back to the fold… As SPEED’s resident red head (Nicole Manske) read from the teleprompter that Spanish newspapers are speculating that Renault will pay Ferdi the Putz a GROSSs salary of $53 million per year for the next two seasons!

Let’s see, skip the wedding cake, pass the Dom Paragon and go directly to the bank, so much for Honeymoons, eh?

Here comes the Bride

Although it had long been rumoured that Fernando Alonso would rejoin Renault for 2008, the deal has finally been “consummated.” As Team Boss Flavour Flav had previously suggested that it was a 60% certainty that “They’d kiss ‘N Make-up.”

Many pundits thus speculated that Ferdi the Putz would simply stay on “Holiday” until the FIA ruled on the “Reggie’s” infidelities, while Flavio stated that their previous history gave Renault the inside track towards reunighting with the Spaniard. (Prior to the WMSC’s meeting on Dec. 6th)

On November 19th while speaking to Italy’s ANSA Radio, Flav proclaimed that; “Renault would definitely have different drivers next year, [and] there’s a 60 percent chance Alonso will be with us.”

Briatore further commented: “When you marry, split up and get back together it is not easy, [but] we have the intention of finding a solution. This week will be decisive for the marriage."He can choose and he knows us. Last year he chose McLaren and made a mistake. We often forget these are 25-year-olds who have never lived their youths. They'd prefer to stay at home with their auntie than to go doing promotional work in Bangladesh or in Tokyo. Alonso knows us from a human point of view and that is important. The last season has been difficult for him. It may have even changed his personality. We'll talk; I want to see where he wants to go.
At McLaren he arrived as the world champion and he was put in competition against a rookie driver: that way the relationship inside a team is put in danger. You can't have two prima-donnas inside a team. You need to get behind one of the drivers."We have an advantage because we know him. Between today and the day after tomorrow it will be decided.”

Also long rumoured has been the suggestion that Briatore had promised Nelson Piquet Jr. a race seat for 2008, thus it was of little surprise when Renault confirmed that Fernando Alonso and Nelson Piquet Jr. would be the teams racing drivers for 2008, which sees Heikki Kovalainen being shoved out of his Renault drive.

With Toyota seemingly having secured its 2008 driver line-up, it appears the only reasonable seat left is McLaren. Which would fit Ron Dennis’s philosophy of hiring Finnish drivers.

Yet I find Flavio’s comments about putting Alonso with a rookie driver dangerous; HILLARIOUS, since this is exactly what he’s done for 2008… And don’t even get me started on the Prima Donna quip! Also isn’t it funny to hear the Italian playboy talking about long term relationships? “Hey Flav, how’d things work out with Heidi Klum, eh?”

Renault in Trouble

Just when you think that perhaps we’ll make it thru the rest of the year without further legal shenanigans occurring in the Formula 1 arena, word comes of the next major bombshell.

Of course its of little surprise to me that Flavour Flav was in total “Denial Mode” when the first whispers of the story started to make the rounds, as Renault was thought to be in illegal possession of McLaren technical documents.

Yet Renault has issued the following statement that this is indeed true, as Phil Mackereth, an engineer whom joined the team from McLaren in 2006 had brought several floppy discs with him containing Proprietary information.

Renault claims that this information was loaded onto their computer system and Mr. Mackereth’s personal directory before subsequently coming to light on September 6th, nearly one year after his joining the team.

Renault claims when the information was divulged to the Senior Technical Management, it immediately informed McLaren and Mackereth was suspended. Renault also insists that none of the data was used for either of its 2006 or 2007 chassis.

Thus a whole new chapter in the “Spy Gate” saga currently gripping Formula 1 is set to be written as Renault has been issued a summons before the FIA tribunal on December 6th. And it seems only logical to assume that Renault should suffer no fewer penalties then were handed out to McLaren in regards to “Stepney Gate” earlier this year. Especially since McLaren was deemed to not have actual possession of any of the damaging documents on its internal computer systems.

Interestingly even more Draconian punishment was thought to be possible for McLaren before the final ruling and thus Renault at the very least will loose its 2007 Constructors points and be fined $100 million…

If the penalties are more severe, this in turn could affect Fernando Alonso’s return to the team in 2008, as Ferdi the Putz is conveniently on vacation for the time being. Perhaps in Germany, near Colone. (Can you say Toyota?)

It will be strange having two major F1 powerhouses at the tail end of pit lane. Loosing out on other normal “perks” associated with being one of the “Top Four,” which the FIA pays its freight costs for. And much to their chagrin, the rest of the grid will move forward another place…

School ‘O Fisi

Otay, so it’s late and the draining of wits is quickly overcoming me as I stare into the eerie glow of the confuzer… Yet I found this item entertaining as apparently “Fishy Fella” is planning his post Formula 1 career.

Giancarlo Fisichella who is already partners in a GP2 team is now taking the next step by announcing plans to open a Tadpole, err “Techno-Pol.” Better known as a technical center for training of aspiring motorsport applicants. (Hey, I couldn’t resist the aqua lung fishy theme)

Does this imply that Fisi is already expecting Flavour Flav to give him the boot at the end of the season?

Dyno Testing

Here is an interesting video link a friend sent me featuring the Renault F1 “Boy’s” busily testing one of their Formula 1 engines. Check it Out!

Renault Dyno Test

Bell comments on floor issue

Interestingly I seemed to have miss this FIA rules clarification, although I did mention how Ron Dennis had complained about the Ferrari’s underside.

Renault’s Technical Director Bob Bell claims that the ruling to curtail the use of springing to move F1 chassis floors means that Ferrari and BMW Sauber will have needed to redesign their 2007 challengers prior to the Malaysian Grand Prix…

Renault’s Fizzy Water

With less than a week remaining until the season opening Formula 1 race in Melbourne begins, teams and drivers are still all overly optimistic about their chances for 2007. Well ok almost everybody is giddy except for “Ralfie” and “Web-Head” (M. Webber)

This enthusiasm includes such positive “spin” as Renault’s new team leader Giancarlo Fisichella’s comments towards believing the “Reggie” still is a contender. And although “Fishy Fella” could win a race or two, I certainly don’t expect him to be in the hunt for this year’s driver title…

New Kids on the Block

Although certainly not the first major manufacturer to implement such a program, Renault has just announced its class of 2007 development drivers.

And these aspiring young guns hope to emulate the career paths that Fernando Alonso and Heikki Kovalainen took towards ultimately landing full time race drives with the “Reggie…”

Renault R27

Last week saw the second installment of new F1 car launches with Renault leading the triumbrent of Constructors showing off their new race cars…

Renault launched its R27 in Amsterdam in deference to its new title sponsor AIG who replaces Mild Seven. The 2007 “Reggie” sports a striking new colour scheme along with new racing driver Heikki Kovalanen…

To read about BMW-Sauber's 2007 Launch, see: BMW Sauber F1.07