Tuh-duh!

Turn out the lights, the party’s OVER…

Or as in the most emphatic words of a part time racing enthusiast.
HALAH-FUCKING-LUEA!!!

In case you haven’t heard… Champ Car and IRL have FINALLY MERGED! As the Takeover was signed into effect by the three leading lights of the two rival series this afternoon…

Open wheel Unification Deal Announced

Is it over?

While some of us eagerly await the official press conference, there appears to have finally been a truce in the war ‘O Northern Aggression, as according to My Name is IRL; SPEED’s Robin Miller has broke the news that a Takeover, Err, Merger has finally occurred between the IRL and Champ Car.

And is it just me or isn’t it ironic that Tony George had to fly all the way to England under the guise of going to Scott Dixon’s wedding and now we’re all waiting for Kevin Kalkhoven to return from that very same country…

Now, I’ve gotta crank out some Robin sound bites, Danny! And while I’m all in favour of this ridiculously overdue consolidation of Open Wheel Racing occurring, I’ll be very SAD if Portland goes on the “New ‘N Improved” OWR schedule…

Bankruptcy du jour?

According to the just published article by Robin Miller,Champ Car may be on the verge of filing for Bankruptcy within the next 24-48 hours, although Steve Johnson, CCWS’s president is doing his best damage control by stating that rumour has been circulating for the past 18 months.

Nevertheless, something definitely seems to be going on in Indianapolis, where both Champ Car and the Indy Racing League headquarters are located, as CCWS seems to be not answering their phones and telling all of their employees to keep the lights turned off!

As Miller notes, could this be just one part of the end game to see the consolidation of the two warring entities finally emerge as a unified Open Wheel racing series.

While Tony George is still optimistic of making something happen for 2008, Kevin Kalkhoven still vehemently denies that Champ Car is going anywhere soon. But, it’s interesting to note that Carl Haas will be potentially left holding $2 million of Panoz parts if (when) Champ Car implodes, as the losers in this sweepstakes seem to be the track operators who aren’t in cahoots with Champ Car owners…

More on possible Open Wheel unification

As many are saying on the blogosphere… Or as Auntie Harriet would say; BLOB-O-Sphere. The news of Tony George’s offering of Holiday tidings in the form of a proposed merger of Open Wheel racing is NOTHING for us to get our hopes up over. Recall that we, along with such heavyweights with the names of Penske, Andretti, Walker, Rahal just to name a few have also been down this road, as it now appears that merger fever number 469 has subsided for the time being, with the news that Tony George has scrapped his plans for Open Wheel unification.

The first thing that I didn’t like about this proposed merger was that several tracks would loose their races, as George wanted to cherry-pick Long Beach, Toronto, Edmonton, Mexico City and Australia from the current Champ Car calendar.

This would see the demise of several great venues, most notably Road America, Portland, Cleveland and Laguna Seca which are all wonderful events.

Secondly, once again we’d be forced to watching nothing more than a glorified “Spec” series. Ok I realize that we’d need to run only one type of power plant; normally aspirated vs. turbocharged, but why can’t we keep the two current chassis; Panoz and Dallara, as well as having Cosworth dust off its Indy Car engine? Recall that while Ford owned Cosworth they built Chevrolet’s Indy Racing League lumps. Thus we’d have some semblance of competition inside of competition again, although I suppose it could lead to “Works” favoritism.

And just what does happen to the lower rung spec series, i.e.; Champ Car Atlantics, Star Mazda, etc. Although the Indy Pro Series is managed by the former Indy Lights boss Roger Bailey and is essentially a clone, what happens to all of the left over Atlantics teams/equipment? While Star Mazda would most likely remain as a feeder series to whatever remained above it.

As for administrative tasks, both feuding series headquarters are in Indianapolis, so it shouldn’t be a big deal moving across town.

Now for the fun part, since this is all hypothetical…
We’ll just have to keep holding our breaths, fingers, toes and assorted body parts crossed that there will be a single “unified” 2009 Open Wheel racing series. After all, it is the centennial of American racing.

And I suppose if ‘lil Napoleon really wanted to put the kybosh on his rivals at Chump Carzs, all he needs to do is scoop up the few remaining goldfish in the Champ Car aquarium (Newman/Haas & Team Australia), as it seems it would be a sure sign of Kalkoven, Forsythe and Gentilozzi falling on their swords if they switched allegiances.

Quick, somebody send the four Moosketeers the memo… Actually, perhaps they already did get the memo, as us few Open Wheel diehards have been blathering on about this… Which means both series have actually been getting some much needed publicity. Hey, perhaps the split is actually a good thing? As it suddenly seems crystal clear to me that perhaps this is another Tony George smoke ‘N mirrors operation; A la Operation Super Tex, you know when Tony gets his ‘Ol Grand-pappie AJ Foyt to spin-up some much needed hype for a NON-EXSISTANT “BOOMP Day!” By trying to stir up some intrigue with really big names crudely stenciled on the cockpit side of his backup cars at the Speedway. Can you say Tony Stewart?

Yet, suddenly it’s blatantly obvious that there ain’t NEVER gonna be a merger! But hey, lets at least leave the Month ‘O May open for everyone to play in Tony’s sandbox…

Open Wheel double speak

While listening to a very fragmented Autosport - Radio show via the internets two weeks ago, can you say win-DOUGH’s media player? (Nee, technical difficulties) To which I had the pleasure of removing and re-installing twice in order to resume connections, but I digress…

Listening to the program I was reminded of how the CART-INDY Split is indeed NOT Dead! As Adam Andretti seemed to make a verbal swipe by commenting how the Indy Car series was the best and ONLY alternative for Open Wheel racing due to its connection with the Speedway.

I failed to mention that it appears there’s another chapter of the Andretti-Unser Family Feud on the horizon, perhaps? As Johnny Unser has just been named Race Director of Cooper Tires Presents the Champ Car Atlantic Championship Powered by Mazda, “Guh-Zoom Zoom-tite!

There’s only “Juan” small problem with Unser’s appointment, he’s never been a race director before, yet he’s an accomplished racer who should definitely know the majority of tricks up driver’s sleeves.

Yet the appointment comes on the heels of not only Tony Cottman’s resignation, but the long serving Race Director of the Atlantics has also left the “Good Ship Chump Carzs.” And I’m still wondering whom the four Mooseketeer’s will anoint as Champ Cars newest race director, since I believe they have a champ-peon-ship to run this year…

Tony’s sandbox

If you’re not aware by now, Robin Miller has written a story for SPEED claiming that Tony George, one of the central figures responsible for RUINING Open Wheel racing, reportedly made an offer to Champ Car to unify the two desolate series for 2008 just prior to Christmas.

Although George’s offer seems to be reasonable on the surface, the powers to be at Champ Car, nee the Four Moosketeers (Kalkoven, Forsythe, Gentilozzi, and Petitt) have rejected the offer, although both Forsythe and Kalkoven vehemently claim they never got the memo…

And suffice it to say, things aren’t getting any better in Champ Car as teams and drivers seem to be packing their bags as quickly as possible. Joining the HELL NO conga line appears to be A1 GP Team Switzerland’s Neal Jani, who wisely has turned down any attempts of returning to Champ Car in 2008 in favour of chasing the A1 GP title instead. Uhm, what’s that word they call out before shocking you with the paddles…
CLEAR, CLEAR! CLEAR!!!

Looks like Tony’s gonna have to break open the Hullman families piggy bank just a little wider, eh? Then again if he can truly get the world of Open Wheel off of life support and a return of Formula 1, then it would be money wisely spent!

Adam Andretti

For those of you desperate for any and all motorsports news relating to Open Wheel racing like your chief hack… Then you may wish to tune-in to Autosport Radio this Tuesday night, (4PM Pacific/7PM Eastern) as “Master of Ceremonies, ” Mr. Donald Kay will have Adam Andretti as “Juan ‘O” his guests.

Adam is the son of Aldo Andretti, Mario’s older brother and John Andretti is his older brother, with Michael & Jeff being his cousins. The 28 year old Brownsburg, Indiana native has just signed a contract with the newly formed FuZion AutosportIndy Pro Series (ISP) team and will contest the entire 2008 season.

Adam is a Skip Barber graduate and started his racing career in the half scale mini stock cars series with the help of brother John, before racing shifter karts in the SKUSA series for two years. Next he raced in Formula 3 along with a drive in the Rolex 24 before changing gears and joining the RASSCAR Featherlite southwest series from 2001-02. He’s also driven a Corvette at Sebring in the SPEED Cup Challenge as well as being a driving instructor for “Road ‘N AD”(Road & Track) as well as the Richard Petty Driving Experience before making his ISP debut at Chicagoland in 2007.

Joining Adam as a guest on this program will be Mike Hull, who’s become the “Cheepster’s” (Chip Ganassi) right-hand man. Mike is in charge of engineering for Target Chip Ganassi Racing and has been a vital cog at TCGR since 1992…

Mario wants Marco in F1

I find this a bit amusing, as Grand Papa Mario Andretti has just publicly stated that he’d like to see grandson Marco plying his trade “Across the Pond” in Formula 1 instead of runnin’ circles in the Indy Racing League.

Hmm, me thinks Marco needs to vastly improve his Oval track performance, overtaking skills and keep a steady eye on his mirror to see where new teammate Hideki Mutoh is!

And perhaps its just me, but isn’t it funny that this time “Juan” year ago, the “Grand Poop-pah” (Mario) was indeed trying to Pump Up Marco, when the youngster was making his first trek to Europe to test for the Honda F1 team.

Winter Follies

How many Andretti’s?
Does it take to win the Indy 500? Err, to get to the center of a tootsie roll, eh? As I’ve just read that another Andretti is making his way towards the IRL and the Indy 500 in the not so distant future. As Adam Andretti (Hmm? Adam DON’T sound very Italian to me…) has just joined the Indy Pro Series full time with the brand new FuZion Team making its debut in the IPS in 2008…

Sunday Drive
Talk ‘bout your Sunday morning drive, or as Mark Knopfler once sang; “Sunday driver never took a test; Only in the wild, wild West! So Casey Jones better slow that Engine down! Or more correctly Lewis Hamilton,

As “Jaguar” was nabbed by the Gendarmes Sunday morning (12/16/07) near the northern town of Laon, where the McLaren star was vrooming thru the countryside in his Mercedes Benz. The only problem for young “Louise” is that he was clocked at 196k/ph in a 130k/ph zone.

At first the Gendarme was unaware of whom the offending foreigner was, as the officer asked; Just who do you think you are Monsieur? Fernando Alonso?

Actually the police apparently had NO clue whom Hamilton was upon initial requesting of name, license, insurance papers… And Hamilton was relieved of $600 Euros for his offense along with having his license suspended for 30 days in France. But the Gendarmes said the Formula 1 youngster was extremely polite and cooperative during his traffic stop and has subsequently had the “Merc” two seater retrieved from impoundment…

So I’m wondering if Hamilton was groovin’ to “Money for nothing ‘N chicks for free when he was nambbed by those pesky Gendarmes. Perhaps this is why he couldn’t attend this year’s ROC?

Sebastian joins Schuey

And if not busy enough already with his upcoming testing schedule, seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher will contest this year’s Race Of Champions(ROC) at Wembley stadium on December 16th. Joining Herr Schumacher for “Team Germany” will be none other than the latest German “Wunderkind” Sebastian Vettel, whom led Scuderia Toro Rosso’s very first Grand Prix this season at Mount Fuji.

Vettel also scored Toro Rosso’s highest points finish to date, finishing fourth place in China. This result along with teammate Vitantonnio Luzzi’s sixth place finish catapulted STR past Honda in the overall Constructor’s championship.

Free Champ Car stuff?

I just noticed the following comment from Richard left on the Champ Car Calendar link and was totally unaware of this.

The Champ Car sponsors are offering Free Tickets and Access Passes to the Long Beach Grand Prix 2008. I just had to answer a small survey to take part. A lot of other Champ Car stuff like apparel, autographs, etc. is also being given away here - http://www.champcarfanzone.com/
Almost daily! Looks good, has anyone you know tried it?

Since I just found out about this, I don’t know if anybody else has tried it or not. Hmm, Free Tickets to Long Beach… Can you say Sun Burn?

Thanks Richard

Mika retires (Again)

Mercedes Benz held their yearly “Stars ‘N Cars” season ending event this past weekend. With the 13th annual extravaganza being held at the factory museum in Stugart,

With both road and racing cars on hand, the show included a temporary circuit being set up for demonstration laps, along with pit stop competitions.

While both current McLaren drivers were scheduled to attend along with various DTM drivers, Mika Hakkinen tooled around the course in his McLaren MP4/13 in which he won his first World Championship in 1998, before taking part in the autograph session

The event served as the perfect backdrop for the former double World Champion to make his announcement of his plans to retire from motor racing.

After three seasons in the DTM (2005-07) which saw him net three victories for Mercedes Benz, Hakkinen has decided to hang up his helmet permanently at the age of 39. Yet the Finn plans to continue his long-time association with Mercedes and said an announcement of his plans would follow shortly…

Schuey’s excellent adventure

Ever wonder what a retired Formula 1 star does for fun? If you’re none other than seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher, you’re probably busy “Jet Setting” around the globe.

Thus Herr Schumacher has just “wowed” the crowds; including reigning Moto GP champion Casey Stoner with his ride aboard the Australian’s Ducati at Valencia.

After handing over his “Scooter” to Schuey, the 38 year old German went out and set a time that was only 5 seconds off of the overall lap record and just 1 second behind ex-Moto GP multiple champion Kevin Schwantz.
Meanwhile Ferrari has confirmed that Schumacher will test its double World Champion F2007 chassis next week at Fiorono, Ferrari’s home test track in Maranello.

The test is claimed to be for technical evaluations of the upcoming season’s rules changes, when traction control and “Driver aids” will be banned. But Schumacher has divulged his desire to drive the car is also for fun. While Team Principal Jean Todt said he’d be happy to indulge Michael whenever he wishes to drive one of their chassis.

And all of this comes amidst speculation fueled by Williams co-owner Patrick Head’s recent statements alluding to the possibility of Ron Dennis hiring Schuey as Alonso’s replacement for 2008?

Yet Michael must still have sponsorship endorsements as Forbes magazine gave him the top power ranking for racing drivers, number 24. Interestingly the top three weren’t Oval Track phenoms.

Schuey was ranked ahead of 2007 World Champion Kimi Raikkonen and Moto GP superstar Valentino Rossi, while the top Roundy Round boy was Jeff “Pretty Boy” Gordon. And bringing up the rear was none other than the Princess. (Danica)

Motorsports salaries
(Forbes; Not overall rankings)

1. Kimi Raikkonen $40 million
2. M. Schumacher $36m
3. Valentino Rossi $30m
4. Jeff Gordon $24.5m
5. Danica Patrick $5m

And with Michael having made his big screen debut in Disney’s blockbuster Cars movie, one must wonder why he’d return to Formula 1 as he really has nothing left to prove…

Bernie’s used car blow-out

While most of us were dressing up in Halloween costumes, passing out a sugar laced assortment of miniature candy bars or simply ignoring the frolics of “Fright Nite.”

Messer Ecclestone was pulling another Trick upon an unsuspecting audience in London, as RM Auctions and Sotheby's Set about selling between 40 to 50 of Emperor Bernardo’s prized automobile collection.

Clearly Bernie’s Treat was having his prized 1937 Mercedes Benz 540 Special Roadster sold for $3.9 million as the shows highest bid of the evening.

At the opposite end of the spectrum was Mr. E’s 1964 Ford Anglia which sold for a mere pittance, netting just over $5,500. The combined lots of the F1 Czar’s collection were estimated at $15 million with the auction being claimed as Britain’s largest ever for classic cars…

JV goes Truckin’

By now perhaps you’ve heard that former F1 World Champion and Indy 500 winner Jacques Villeneuve is scheduled to test a Bill Davis Racing Toyota Craftsman Truck at Chicagoland. With plans to contest the final seven NCTS events in preparations to graduate to RASSCAR with BDR in 2008.

If the Motor Mouth Kanuck is joined in neXXtel cup next season by Scott Speed in a similar Toy-yoter Camary, this would see three Formula 1 drivers contesting the Roundy Round series next year…

Oh my God! Won’t the Kuh-nuckers be in a lather over their native son bangin’ doors with that Columbian MAC Montoya. Next thing you’ll know, RASSCAR will wanna switch its Busch Series event to a Cup race on the Il Notre Dam. Especially after this years Robby Gourdoun show…

No news on how many Tundra’s Jacques tore up during Monday’s test. Hmm? That seems to be a good make for the French-Canadian to be driving, eh?

Indy celebrities (Postscript)

Did you guess who the six celebrities I ran into while at IMS are?
Or are you simply getting tired of the suspense? Just give us the “Frillin’” answers man… (No cheating Danny B, your excluded)

As I’ve previously written. The mystery men in no particular order are: DH, “S. George,” DM, “Doctor Who?” Mr. Interscope and the REAL “Double D.”

And with no further ado, Drum roll please…………..
The first three represent 1/11th of this year’s Indy 500 grid. And how often do you meet three racing drivers in one day?

Obviously DH is Davey Hamilton, whom returned to the Brickyard for the first time after six years of countless surgeries to repair his shattered feet. Davey has kept sharp by compiling seat time piloting one of Sinden Racing’s two seaters. He’s a true gentleman and it was a pleasure to spend so much time talking with him. And I felt it was a true bonus to have him as my chauffer around the Speedway!

“”S. George” is the aforementioned Steven George. Better known as Stefan Gregoire. And he seemed like a very nice chap as he was sent home early after his two seater mount lost its motor at IMS. Apparently Gregoire is also collecting valuable seat time at IMS as Sinden Racing’s other driver...

Although technically gregoire didn’t compete in this years Indy after crashing during practice. As you may recall Chastain Motorsports drafted the wiley veteran Roberto Moreno as his replacement. Look for S. George to be back next year at Indy.

The third driver is by far the court jester of the triumberant. As Darren Manning is a total crack-up. Making a loud snoring sound when recounting his displeasures of having to attend Sponsor meetings. As well as being a pretty fine golfer. Manning now resides in Indianapolis and was the BAR Honda F1 test driver before moving to Derrick Walker’s Champ Car team.

Dr. Who is none other then 1997 Indy 500 Winning race engineer Tim Wardrop. And I really enjoyed my prolonged chat with him about various facets of Formula 1.

Mr. Interscope could also be called the Flying Hawaiian. As I’ve just read that he was a tire buster in the early ‘60’s prior to getting his shot as a racing driver. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? His name is Danny Ongais.

Unfortunately when I hear his name I can only recite the fact that his crash at Indy in 1987 opened the door for Al Unser Sr. as his replacement at Penske Racing. “Big Al” went on to win his fourth Indy 500 that year behind the wheel of a year old Penske show car. Wow, it just hit me. This is the 20th anniversary of that most forgettable saga.

And lastly, not to be confused with Robin Miller’s Double D. Nope, not “Milk ‘N Doughnuts.” Nor Derr-Wreck Daily. The REAL “Double D” is none other than official track historian Donald Davidson. Whom I’m now calling D-Squared…

The affable Englishman came abroad in 1964 before immigrating in 1965 to work for USAC and has been here ever since. Davidson is a walking computer as he simply rambled off answer after answer to us in the Photo Shop…

Indy celebrities

So I’ve been reveling over my most excellent adventure to the Speedway for the past few weeks now. While basking in the afterglow of my extreme euphoria experienced while hanging out at Indianapolis. As I can still hear the banshee wail of the two seater reverberating off the Turn 2 grandstands. (Especially when I play it back on my mini-recorder)

Did you guess who the six celebrities I ran into while at IMS were? As I wrote before they were none other than: DH, “S. George,” DM, Mr. Interscope, “Doctor who?” and D-Squared. (O.k. The REAL “Double D.”) I’ll let you ponder it a little longer, eh?

For this most memorable trek to Mecca, I stayed at the Brickyard Crossing Hotel, which is located directly next to the Turn Two Grandstand. And it’s slightly dated. Ok, so it looks circa 1970’s. Yet I found it to be a most enjoyable locale as it’s full of old fashion charms.

Although I didn’t get Jimmy Neighbors suite. The room was clean, the staff is super courteous, the waitress’s & bartender’s very friendly and the food is quite palatable. But what I found most humourous was having a real “live” person making the wake-up call each morning. Along with using a real key to unlock your door.

And where else can you simply step out of your room and be serenaded by the symphonic harmonies of the Sinden Racing Two Seater reverberating off of the Brickyard grandstands?

After checking into my hotel room Monday evening. Danny B introduced me to his old friend Dave, who we met on his way into the bar while Danny was showing me the hotel’s layout. There Dave introduced us to Dr. Who. And on our way out for dinner, Danny said hello to Mr. Interscope.

Tuesday was the big day for me. As Danny chauffeured me around the corner to the Formula 1 garages for my big adventure aboard Sinden Racing’s Two Seater.

While waiting for my ride, Danny introduced me to DH, who’d be my two seater pilote later in the afternoon. DH was super friendly and really made my day enjoyable. He talked to us for over 20+ minutes before excusing himself to go get suited up for his afternoon at the office. And I’ll give you a hint. He finished ninth in this years Indy 500.

While awaiting the track to be cleared after having a big problem with the other two seater, Danny introduced me to “Steven George” while going to have my picture taken on the pit lane with DH in front of the Canadian Club car. According to Danny, Steven George has been given the moniker due to his close relationship with Mary Holman George.

Than after a mind boggling FANTASTIC day at IMS, we returned to the bar for some liquid refreshments along with a quick bite to eat. Walking in after us and sitting down directly behind us. There’s Mr. Interscope once again. And Danny told him of my ride aboard the two seater and perhaps he could have been my chauffer? No thanks said Mr. Interscope. I’ll stick to single seaters.

After dinner Danny drove us over to McGilvery's Speedway for a weekly radio broadcast hosted by Don Kay of Autosport Radio. One of his featured guests this week was the “Cheeky Brit” DM. Who as always was quite entertaining. And he started off the show by claiming that I’d messed up his golf game when roaring around Indy! But DM had NO interest in the two seater, stating that may be his girlfriend would?

As he was leaving Danny brought him over to our table and introduced me. DM promptly said, so you’re the chap in the two seater messing up my golf game!

Wednesday upon taking a PAINFULLY SEDATE bus ride around the Brickyard narrated by D-Squared. We toured my favourite racing haunt. The Hall of Fame museum. And upon popping into the Photo Shop on the second floor. Which you really must if you want to see AWESOME racing photography from wall to wall. Coming out of his office was D-Squared, who Danny introduced me to. And very obligingly chatted with us for quite some time as we picked his brains over the history of the Brickyard.

SHEISA!!! That was a really ruff trip! As I mentioned to “Auntie” Harriet, I’m getting a bit spoiled here. And I’m becoming a bit particular on whom I meet ‘N greet…

To continue reading, see; Indy Celebrities - Postscript

Racing Tri-Fecta

With the Dog-Days ‘O Summer fast approaching there end… The major Open Wheel racing series are entering the latter stages of this year’s championship.

Formula 1 returns to action after a three week sabbatical, racing in Istanbul. With six rounds remaining McLaren’s Beastie Boyzs seem to have the championship by the scruff of its neck. While the Scuderia has an outside chance. Will Hamilton become the very first Rookie to ever win the title>

The IRL has three races left, beginning with this weekend’s Sonoma, CA event. Half Gainer Dario sees his points lead shrinking rapidly to ex-Champion Scott Dixon. Can Franchitti hang on?

Champ Car is making a two race swing thru Europe currently. With the added bonus of the newly created European Cup, which will reward the winning drivers with paid 7 day holidays. While the Hamburgular closes in on a fourth consecutive Vanderbuilt Cup… Now the only trick is to find the DAMN race on TV!

Gorilla Driving

In lieu of the firestorm surrounding McLaren’s “Beastie Boyzs.” I found the following two stories hugely entertaining.

Did you hear about Kimi Raikkonen hamming it up in a Gorilla suit? Apparently the Finn and two friends took part in a local power boat race in Hanko wearing Gorilla suits, winning a prize for best costume. Yet when asked at Hungary. The “Kimster” replied in his typical Icelandic fashion. Yeah, but do you know it was me?

And I was unaware of his earlier exploit this season. Having entered and won a local snowmobile race under the name James Hunt.” As it had never struck me that the Iceman was perhaps trying to emulate the hard partying Englishman.

Meanwhile imagine being a local Driver Education instructor in Brazil and one of your pupils is a former three time Formula 1 World Champion…

This scenario played out recently upon a Brazilian judge sending Nelson Piquet back to driving school for an overly large number of outstanding tickets.

Apparently Piquet had 29 points on his license from speeding and parking incidents, which caused automatic suspension of his license. His wife also was sentenced to Driver’s Education apparently for Bad Driving…

Foyt Bulldozer Follies

Perhaps “Super Tex” should stick to playing golf with Darren Manning instead of driving bulldozers. I mean I’ve heard of selfless promotional gimmicks, but is this the type of publicity title sponsor ABC Supply wants?

In case you haven’t heard. AJ Foyt has once again miraculously escaped serious physical injury upon rolling his D9 Caterpillar bulldozer into a lake on his property. As Foyt seems to have the ultimate nine lives, having once again emerged uninjured from his earth working activities.

Bernie playing Football?

Interestingly Emperor Bernardo seems to be pursuing a possible takeover of the Arsenal Football Team. And in order to indulge his latest endeavor. Bernie has decided to pursue a novel financial scheme. You know the one. How to make money the old fashion way? Sell some of your wordly possessions in order to obtain more… As it has been announced that Ecclestone will be taking part in a very different type of Halloween bash, by selling off some of his

personal car collection.

Alphabet Soup

lost in the shuffle last week, while jet setting my way to Tony George’s backyard. I missed my chance to meet Paul Newman. Who was back home again… Along with his partner in crime Carl Haas. As the two elder satesmen of Newman Haas Lanigan Racing were on hand in Indianapolis during the Brickyard 400 weekend.

Joining them were Mike Lanigan and Robert Yates to announce the merger of Robert Yates Racing and Newman Haas Lanigan. In which will immediately become Y/N/H/L Racing. Hey Vanna, I’d like to buy a vowel!

Thus Carl Haas will make his third foray into RASSCAR as he claimed the opportunity was just too great to pass up! Hey! Perhaps if the Hamburgular gets tired of Champ Car and Franz Tost throws him under the bus… Sea Bass will be able to pull a Montoya and go Nextel Cup racing?

Nah, NOT according to the krack reporting staff at Full Throttle whom apparently think ‘ol
Carl Haas has been smoking some of the leafy green stuff!

The Sundance Kids

Naw, Not Tony G. & Kevin K. Nor Emperor Bernardo & Mad Max… It was none other than Mario Andretti and Paul Newman. You see the elder Newman was being chauffeured by his one time ex-employee aboard one of the Minardi F1 X 2 Two Seaters on hand during the Edmonton weekend.

As apparently ‘Ol P.L simply showed up on his Vespa scooter to watch the 1978 Formula 1 World Champion taking passengers for rides. When Mario naturally inquired. “Wanna Ride?” So Mr. Newman gladly hopped aboard and reveled in the legend behind the wheel of the 700bhp 3.0 liter Cosworth V-10 derived F1 chassis.

Schuey’s race return

And while the entire hubbub surrounding Ferrari currently centers on the Nigel Stepney Witch Hunt. It has been announced that seven time World Champion Michael Schumacher will return to the cockpit to compete in the upcoming Race Of Champions…

The Greatest Spectacle?

Ah, after having been thru a three hour Rain Delay. (Not to be confused with a three hour cruise…) I think the “Buzz” of the Indy 500 has finally subsided for me. And many would say I’d gotten it all “ASS-Backwards” as I focused upon the “indee 415” instead of the Monaco Grand Prix.

But there were a few reasons for this programming switch. Mainly since for reasons unknown my “Old School” (circa 2005) Panasonic VCR will now NO longer record sound on two channels. (ABC & NBC) And has also run afoul of the Government’s switching of Daylight Savings time. So now needs to be manually manipulated twice a year to adjust to the correct time Yet, so far SPEED is unaffected.

And many, well ok a few seem confounded that Rusty “L.T.O.” Wallace bothered me so badly that I turned the TV completely off and just staired at the paint on my ceiling instead while listening to The Greatest Spectacle in Racing live via the internets. Well Ok, at least Tony George, the King and Mr. I Am Indy think its GREEATTTTTTTTT!

But hey, I noticed that I wasn’t alone, as I read that Rusty made a pair ‘O Golden Retriever’s HOWL in protest!

Schuey’s Intrepid drive

As previously mentioned, “RASSCAR: Team owner Ray Evernham has offered Seven time World Champion Michael Schumacher the opportunity to test “Juan ‘O Dem Dodge’s” anytime he feels so inclined.

Now comes word from Germany that Schumacher will travel to the upcoming test at Richmond (April 3-4) to get behind the wheel of a 2006 Casey Kahne Dodge Intrepid for the very first time…

While the RASSCAR regulars take to the track to continue evaluating the “Car Of Tomorrow,” Schuey will attempt to circulate the high banks and determine exactly why MAC Montoya left Formula 1 in favour of going round in circles…

Can Open Wheel racing survive?

Ok, so this is a little bit dated. Sorry for the delay but that’s what happens when you go away and play, eh?

YEE HAW!!! The Daytona 500 is finally OVER! And what a spectacle it was, with unprecedented CHEATING, the usual BIG wrecks and a controversial finish…

Yet this “800lb Gorilla” appears quite content to trample on anybody wishing to veer into its path, as the “premiere” North American series continues to flaunt a bottomless supply of sponsorship dollars for luring anybody with a crash helmet.

Now comes word that IRL star Dan Wheldon was busy working the paddock during the 49th running of the Daytona 500, having finally given up on his dreams of becoming a Formula 1 driver.

Alas, all seems not completely lost for Open Wheel racing fans as I passed thru the airport’s metal detector the baggage screener from two machines away said out loud. “Paul Tracy! I know that guy, he’s from Canada…”

This was in regards to the “Sand Dune” Tracy T-Shirt I was wearing, although I swore that I’d NEVER be a “Sugar Ray” Tracy fan… I had a sudden change of heart after last year’s experience at Portland. And how could you not appreciate PT’s theatrics of the past season…

Da Matta Interview

Although most of the current media focus has been upon the recently completed Champ Car test at Houston. In case you’ve been wondering how Cristiano Da Matta’s recovery has been progressing lately, then you’ll want to check out David Phillips commentary, Same Old Da Matta.

And although Da Matta hasn’t been cleared to drive a race car yet, he’s definitely retained his sense of humor. Talking about the incident with the deer at Road America, Da Matta quips that there’s likely zero deers roaming the pavement in Las Vegas…

Da Matta is thinking about attending this year’s inaugural Vegas Grand Prix after his friend Oriol Servia suggested it to him. So hopefully we’ll see Da Matta’s smiling face while being interviewed by the DUDLEY DUO ‘O Rick “Insert $ponsor’s Name Here” Benjamin and Derr-wreck Daily…

Driving in Circles

As the Open Wheel talent drain continues… It’s kind of entertaining to watch the progress of the “Three Musketeers.” Just keep in mind the phrase from the movie Dumb & Dumber: “Four lefts makes a Circle…”
MAC Montoya continues earning his “Darlington Stripes,” after slapping the wall once again while finishing 28th at Memphis…
Talk about becoming “Yesterday’s News.” MAC went fairly unnoticed as the Busch Series spotlight focused upon Sam Hornish Jr’s debut. MAC quietly finished 20th at Phoenix and now awaits his Nextel Cup debut at the Homestead season finale…
AJ Almendinger has gone 0 for 3 attempting to make his Nextel Cup debut. Reportedly Almendinger took Red Bull’s 9 million for 3 years NASCAR drive over Gerry Forsythe’s offer of 1 million per season for 5 years to remain in Champ Cars…
Reigning IRL Champion Sam Hornish Jr. made his Busch Series debut this past weekend at Phoenix. Hornish qualified 27th and spent the entire race struggling to finish. After briefly brushing the wall Hornish DNF’ed after becoming involved in a multiple car pile-up. Hornish was classified 36th. Hornish quipped: “I knew it was going to be difficult since it’s the very first race where I can’t see my wheels. That’s a pretty big change!”

Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?

Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?

Another Halloween has past and it appears that the majority of TRICK’S were played upon Open Wheel racing as their “top-flight” drivers continue to DEFECT towards the ure of “Big Money!” Here’s a look at how the Motorsports goody “grab-bag” made out…

TRICK: AJ Almendinger leaves Forsythe Racing for NASCAR.
Treat: Forsythe hires Buddy Rice to replace Almendinger for Mexico.

TRICK: Almendinger smacks wall during Craftsman Truck race
Treat: Red Bull gives Almendinger MILLIONS to drive their Nextel Cup Toyota Camry…

TRICK: Juan Pablo Montoya QUITS Formula One. Montoya leaves McLaren after “Juan” final accident. (7 car pile-up in Turn 1 of USGP on opening lap)
Treat:”MAC” Montoya makes impressive ARCA Stock Car debut, finishing third. “MAC” then DNF’s in ARCA and finished 11th after crashing during his Busch Series debut…

TRICK: Alex Zanardi’s horrific Champ Car accident at the Lausitzring… (Germany)
Treat: Zanardi gets Formula One test ride with BMW-Sauber…

TRICK: Danica Patrick’s manager (Father) trolls NASCAR pit lane prior to contract renegotiations…
Treat: Dania signs lucrative 3yr deal to drive for Andretti-Green Racing…

TRICK: Sam Hornish Jr. beats rookie Marco Andretti on the final lap to win Rodger Penske’s record 13th Indy 500 victory… (Continuing the Andretti “Curse”)
Treat: 2006 IRL Champion Hornish will enter the final two Busch Series races, testing the NASCAR waters… Although committed to a full IRL schedule in 2007, Hornish will contest a partial 2007 Busch Series season for Penske with eyes on jumping into Nextel Cup full time in 2008…