Wedding proposal F1 style

And although the walls of the financial debacle seem to be closing in upon Formula 1, its nice to see that its not all Doom ‘N gloom in the F1 Paddock, as grizzled “Journo” Joe Saward has a very short but sweet post upon a fellow colleagues novel way of proposing marriage, click here.

Help Spa-Francorchamps

Apparently some of the local residents who aren’t fans of Formula 1 are trying to cause the demise of one of the world’s most legendary race tracks… Spa-Francorchamps! And thus cause the Belgian Grand Prix to fade away because its too loud. SHEISA!

So please check out the petition to KEEP Spa-Francorchamps on the F1 calendar in the future, click here.

Turnin’ the BIG Six-Oh!

A ‘lil Indiana ‘Sycamore has told me that today a “Mega” middle aged procostinator of Indy Car Doom ‘N Gloom is celebrating his Birthday today… But wait, it’s even better yet as my reputed “Source” sez it’s none other then ‘Ol Open Wheel Racing Curmudgeon Robin Miller’s SIXTIETH BIRTDAY!!! AYE KARUMBA!

So Happy 60th Birthday Robin…

and NO word on what Ye ‘Ol Windbag (and friend) Dave Despain presented Robin with for this momentous occasion… As it’ll be hard to top last years gift when Despain actually had video footage of giving him a Tin-Top ride with someone named ‘Lil Ironhead…

And good luck blowin out all of ‘dem candles Robin!

George’s Downsizing

Thanks to Mr. CARPETS of Indiana for spotting the following article upon Tony & Laura George’s palatial estate going upon the market… Just one more sign of how desperate Tony G. is to keep his Vision Racing team afloat? (C’Mon, Y’all knew that was coming, eh?)

Tony George's home and 12 acres for sale

Miller in the Big Chair

Whale I suppose its official now? Since James of 16th ‘N G-Town has let the Cat out among the Pigeons so to speak… As I’d heard the news from the ‘Ol Curmudgeon himself about working on trying to get Super Tex to come on Ye Old Windbag’s program this weekend when Robin Miller will be filling in as Dave Despains fourth special (stand-in) show host… Following in the footsteps of Ralph Sheheen, Krista Voda and Tommy Kendall.

So tune-in this Sunday night at 6PM Pacific to see what Robin Miller & AJ Foyt will have to yak about, eh? As perhaps we’ll be able to get around the mandatory splattering ‘O RASSCAR related topics that Wind Tunnel normally panders too...

Snakes ‘N Stuff

Whale other then the fact that the “Danicker Channel,” nee Versus nearly 1hr IndyCar preamble is TOO F%%KING LONG! (Are we going for the RASSCAR approach here or what?) I did get a chuckle outta Mr. BRUT Aruet-Arute’s interview segment with EJ “What, Me Worry?” Viso, who listed his hobbies included Skydiving and Base jumping… Before showing Arute-Arute ‘Juan ‘O his pet Snakes… To which the BRUT-ish ‘Juan professed his huge dislike of the scaly critters… while viso stood there laughing loudly while Arute-Arute said; “You think this is funny?” Before asking what does it mean when he wraps himself around my neck to which viso replied it means FRESH MEAT! Before telling Jack to give his Snake a kiss… I tells yuh, that Viso dude is ‘Juan SIC cookie… Now if he could just pull some of his woe-jo on those DAMN pesky red carz, eh? As I’d really like to see someone else besides Dario, Scott, Ryan or Hulio in Victory circle – Kapishe?

Birthday’s ‘N Stuff

Today, August 14th, The Indianapolis Motor Speedway officially celebrates its 100th anniversary. On this date in 1909, a series of motorcycle races were held on the newly completed 2.5 mile Oval.

But Triple-A (AAA) sanctioned Automobile racing had already made its stop at Portland, nearly two years BEFORE the very first Indy 500. (Not to mention the five people who’d lose their lives during Indy’s very first weekend of Automobile racing…)



Cash for Clunkers?
Apparently current F1 Points leader ‘JENSE (Button) is trying to cash in on that ‘lil car dealo where you can swap your Supercar for something a tad bit more practicle, eh? Click here.

Brack’s Bling
So what do retired Indy 500 Champions do in their after lives? Take one Kenny Brack, who you may have heard of? Whale Brack got an offer he couldn’t refuse and decided to participate in this year’s Rally X-Games, with some Formula Duh Dude named Tanner (Foust( as his teammate… And you may know that Kenny beat all comers including Tanner and somebody named Travis Pestrona, and recently was a guest on Speed Freaks… To listen, click here.

Dale Coyne Racing trivia answer

So awhile ago I asked Y’all if yuhs could tell me what was wrong with the following picture in my post titled: Spare Coyne.

As this was taken the day after this years Indy 500 By Indiana bureau chief Danny B. in the parking lot of my esteemed Hotel in Speedway, Indiana... And thus, for those of you with eyes like the certain type ‘O nocturnal animal a certain David Hobbs likes to refer to... I found it a bit funny when reviewing the picture a few weeks later to notice Bruno Junqueira’s name still boldly emblazoned upon the trailer’s lower flank nearest the tailgate... I mean c’mon! What would have happened if Junky had actually kept his ride for Eric Bachelart’s squad while some dude by the name of tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter was busy at the keyboard of Coyne’s second I500 entry...

Bloggers invade Indy

Whale Otay; first of all excuse me for writing this after the fact... But I just cannot seem to squeeze-in everything going on around Der Motorsporten Vurld in a timely matter... I mean its HELL tryin’ to keep up with the Blogosphere as there’s several great Motor Racing Bloggers to choose from.

Secondly, forgive me for not being Bold enough to introduce myself to the other fellow “Blog-arati” (I like it Jeffrey...) whilst being fortunate enough to be granted access to the inner confines of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s Media center this past May, which was a totally KOOL experience for Mwah.

Case in point, I missed the following Blog stories during the Month ‘O May, as I’ve just stumbled across Erik Decker’s Laughing Stalk blog totally by accident, having never heard of it or him... as Erik actually dropped a quick line about the esteemed “Blogger’s Alley” in the Media center this May, of which I only met two of the noted eight... (OOPS! Sorry ‘bout ‘dat!) Especially since this was the very first time Bloggers were granted access...

Other Bloggers at the Indianapolis 500

Also, since I was away from ze confUZer while gallivanting about Speedway, Indiana... And “Lucy” in the sky with Diamonds in particular... better known as my esteemed? (Or Steamed! Hey uze try reading’s this stuff constantly...) Screen reader, I missed Jeffery’s (My Name is IRL) post about our excellante trek around the Speedway grounds; as Jeff isn’t NO slouch when it comes to the Indy racing League and its support series...

Friday at Indianapolis

And I recommend you check out all of the Blog-arati listed upon Erik’s list for some great writing and the latest ‘N greatest info on (primarily) what’s happenin’ in the Indy Car World. Not to mention the frozen Tundra brigade from Up North, Eh? As in:

Matt Chamois: The Other side
Meesh’s: So Here’s What I’m Thinking;

Better known as S.H.W.I.T. according to Pressdog, not to forget Mark, Ryan and whomever else I’m forgetting...

Marc: Full throttle
Ryan: Junior Open Wheel Talent

So it just goes to show Yoose’ (me included) that ‘Juan can simply NOT keep up with the explosion of information floating freely about Al gore’s invention thingy, eh? As now I’m even further behind! Having the good fortune to be traipsing around Jolly ‘Ol England at the moment...

F1 moves to FOX

GASP! Once again it’s the part of the Formula 1 season I detest the most... Besides the winter break, when FOX TV takes over the race coverage and we get to indulge in four DUMBED DOWN Broadcasts... Beginning with this weekend’s Turkish GP in Istanbul, which FOX will air in its abbreviated format at 12 Noon Pacific.

Where are you Varsha, Hobbs, Matchett and Winsor? We needs Yuh!

Gasoline Alley Talk Show

Whale I’d totally forgotten about it until this weekend, that if you’re hunkerin’ for the most enlightening and entertaining rants of Indy’s past, then perhaps you’ll want to tune-in to “The Machine,” a la “D-Squared” better known as IMS Historian Donald Davidson, who gladly fields questions of a nostalgic manner on his excellent show The Talk of Gasoline Alley on Indiana’s 1070 The Fan Radio almost every night thru the Month of May, along with previous archived shows available in podcast form...

The Talk of Gasoline Alley

Live from Indy, NOT!

Robert Doornbos; ’09 IRL Spring Training (Indy Car.com)

Nope, not there yet... But James of 16th and Georgetown is “In the House...” (Or is ‘dat “Hizzy” as pressdog would say?) The Grandstands, Gasoline Alley, Pit Row, IMS Gift Shop (May be Not?) Tenderloin Sandwiches line and the somewhat dated Men’s washrooms... (According to Jeffrey) And Oh Yeah! Did I mention that James is posting a veritable Boatload of live shots along with constant updates? And soon will be joined onsite by Will of Is it May yet? (Sorry for leaving any other fellow Bloggers onsite at IMS outta this post...) Check out James Day 1 pic’s at: ROP Day 1 Wrap-Up

And for all of uze Twitter-holics, James has also posted a list of choices available from the Blogosphere, which I believe was originally derived from IndyCar.com, which has all of your live Timing & Scoring and On Track action, including the Green flag being dropped on the entire field in just hours...

IMS Recognizes Bloggers

And lastly, yesterday’s Quote of the Day came from “The Flying Dutchman,” a.k.a. Two time Indy 500 winner Arie Luyendyk whose shepparding Bad Bobby D thru his Oval Track adventures:

Both are fluent in Dutch. But the only time we use it is on the radio when we're talking about the engineers," Luyendyk joked.
(Indystar.com)

Meanwhile I’m hoping that TAG (Alex Tagliani) WON’T be Walking like an Egyptian this Month ‘O May, eh? )Sheez! Y’all knew that was coming, eh?)

Jenkins is the Mann!

Perhaps Y’all already know this, have figured it out or come to a similar conclusion> But after listening to Bob Jenkins once again on Autosport Radio yesterday... It became abundantly clear to Mwah just how much of a Class Act Bob Jenkins is... And judging by the reaction of the audience upon his introduction... This is a commonly held opinion, as the show’s first guest Kevin Savory of Andretti Green Racing certainly didn’t receive the same over joyous reception...

And Jenkins, whom I’ve just commented about his in booth pardners Jon Beekhuis and Robbie “That’s my Pick” Buhl seemingly not letting Bob get too many words in edgewise, is an extremely articulate, bright, clever and quick announcer... As Don Kay asked him if he’d fallen asleep while listening to the monotonous sponsor plugging... Oh No! I listened to every word Jenkins quipped... Later mentioning how you know you’ve made it when you have to hire somebody to do your lawns for you... And could Mr. Kay hurry up the interview as he’d promised his wife Pam they’d be home by 9PM in order to watch Dancin’ with the Starz...

Oh yeah, Jenkins noted I’ve got my own website now; it’s Bob Jenkins Racing.com, so check it out please...

So, I’ll hold off on my comments about the Versus broadcast as I like the majority of Talking Heads they’ve got working, especially Jenkins & Beekhuis... And “Lyndie-Lyndie” (Lindy Thackston) of which Will of Is it May Yet? Has a great interview with; is actually quite enjoyable to listen too... Especially versus (pun intended) ABC’s Brienne “My Daddy owns a Race Team” Pedigo...

To visit Bob Jenkins brand new website; Click here

Groundhog Day?

Whale... Due to unforeseen circumstances... Which Y’all are probably thinkin’ (Think Pink?) Man that Dude sure has a lotta excuses... As I’m not sure what’s more amazing... Having waited all winter long and then being unexpectedly occupied on the very first two Open Wheel Racing race weekends or the outcome of the very first two Formula 1 races of the season, eh? And thus after an all day excursion to the Doctor’s office... I missed the very first ever Versus Indy Car TV broadcast and didn’t manage to finish watching my tape of Kuala Lumpur’s Malaysian Grand Prix until 11PM last night as the tape cut out while the National Anthem’s were being played! So, NO race winners interviews...

Having awoken an hour early Saturday... As the live Indy Car Qualifying was slated for 7:45AM Pacific; “Left Coast time,: all I could do was laugh momentarily as a “Hoosieronian” voice cooed over the internets: This is the IMS Radio Network, live Indy Car Qualifying has been delayed slightly due to the Firestone Indy Light Quals running late... Please stand by on the Streams and we’ll begin as soon as possible... As I briefly thought? Oh NO! Jeffrey and Will musta angered ‘Old Mother Cupboard and made it rain?

So anyways, your humble scribe is definitely under the weather... Which is ironic since we’re having the first taste ‘O Summer here in the Pacific Northwest... Albeit still some 20-25 degrees less than Kuala Lumpur... (Hey! Can you say Monsoon?) As we’re definitely in uncharted territory here... ACK! Can the thermometer really be above 60 degrees?

Thus, I’ll be taking it easy for a few days as I await the effects of the Doctor prescribed tranquilizers dissipating and furiously ham-er (it-up?) away at ze keebored... As hopefully my knucel’s don’t gets toe much in DUH way... Now its off to LaLa land and then back to le ‘Ol School tappin machine as I managed to set my Shiny New Boxes commands “Just-in-Time” to record last nights, Err this mornings Speed Report and Wind Tunnel... As it only hurts when I laugh, eh?

Thankem Goodness ‘dat meez ‘lil clock radio doesn’t Pickem-up that Sonny ‘N Cher station...”I’ve got you Babe!”

And I did hear via Dave Despain’s “Last Call?” Last night, that there’ll be an interesting new article today in the Miami Herald over some new Hulio developments which could throw a monkey wrench in his defense?

And I sure wished that Justin Wilson could have given Dale Coyne his much deserved and long overdue inaugural Indy Car victory yesterday instead of one of duh “Big Three” snatching the checkers.... YAWN!

GItter Done!

Centennial Era Gala held

(Lyn St James, Sarah Fisher and Janet Guthrie)

As previously mentioned, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway has been running a series of video clips of various racing highlights from the past as it prepared to kick-off it’s 100yr Centennial (trilogy) Era celebration with a gala ceremony on February 27th. The shin-dig was attended by 19 of the 27 living Indy 500 champions, along with other noted participants including Janet Guthrie, Lyn St James and Sarah Fisher.

Friday night fights:
Rivalries in racing never die, although they might mellow just a bit. That was Bobby Unser's sentiment Feb. 27 at the IMS Centennial Era Gala.
A reporter asked three-time Indianapolis 500 winner Unser whether old rivalries between the Unsers, A.J. Foyt and others might heat up. Unser joked that he was skeptical the Gala would stay peaceful.
"I can't promise you that," he said with a laugh. "There could be some problems. But I noticed Foyt's down in Houston with airplane troubles, so that takes care of half the fights right there. Parnelli (Jones) is here, though, to take care of Foyt."

This comes from a man who made my Baddest Bad Asses list for once lighting a Rolls Royce on fire during a demolition derby... As Bobby’s NO stranger to fisti-cuffs... Just ask the Albuquerque Police!

IMS Centennial Era Gala notes

Scooter sound bites

(Miguel Duhamel)
As this weekend brings a close to the Daytona “Speed Weeks” marathon, with the running of the Daytona 200 Friday evening, live on SPEED, the event will run underneath the lights for the first time. Look for Miguel Duhamel to potentially win his record sixth Daytona 200 race, while James “bubbah” Stewart will look to resume his winning ways in Saturday’s Supercross event, having seen his streak of seven straight victories being snapped last weekend at Indianapolis’s Lucas Oil Dome...

Spies wins in Superbike debut Ben Spies, the reigning three time AMA Superbike Champion, whom after not getting the nod to move into MOTO GP full time this season, has elected to go World Superbike racing for Yamaha instead. Spies showed his potential by taking pole position for his very first heat race at Phillip Isle in Australia, but faltered to 16th place after running off track. In the second heat, spies was a bit more patient, running behind “Nitro” Noriyuki Haga on a Ducatti, who’d won the races first event, and is considered to be the favourite for the World Superbike title this season. Yet, Spies finally decided to flex his Yamaha R1’s muscle and passed “Haga” in the closing stages and then motored away from the Japanese rider and Italian Max Biaggi who took third place aboard his Aprilla, to win the races second heat and his very first World Superbike race...

Schuey injured in crash
Whale, it appears that seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher is human after all, since the F1 Superstar suffered apparent road rash in a recent “Scooter” accident south of the Border...

Schumacher injured in Motorcycle accident


(Desmosedici GP9)

New “Duc” unveiled
With the opening round of the 2009 MOTO GP season just around the corner, look for the “Kentucky Kid,” a.k.a. Nicky Hayden’s return to the forefront of action, now that he’s once again back on competitive equipment, having made the switch to Ducatti and becoming 2007 MOTO GP Champion Casey Stoner’s teammate, as Hayden who won the MOTO GP crown in 2006 along with Stoner will hope to pressure “The Doctor: and defeat reigning MOTO GP Champion Valentino Rossi this season...

New Ducatti unveiled

Stoner beats Massa
In the traditional Ferrari – Ducati winter team ski follies held at Madonna di Campiglio this past January, MOTO GP star Casey Stoner defeated Felipe Massa in a go kart race held on ice, while Nicky Hayden grabbed the final podium spot.

Kimi Raikkonen wasn’t present, as apparently the Finn had a touch of the flu? (Or simply too much Fizzy the evening before...) While Ferrari tester Marc Gene was at an abortive test session at Vairano, which saw the Scuderia offer Felipe’s younger brother Eduardo an opportunity to come and play in the snow.

Thus, by finishing third, Hayden bested Ducati test rider Vittoriano Guareschi, Luca Badoer and Eduardo Massa in the intra-squad karting race...

Sarah Fisher on Autosport

Whale... I find it hard to believe that I’ve scooped the “Dawg;” as in Pressdog, who appears to be a pretty big Sarah Fisher supporter. (Since I know we both donated funds to her INDY 500 effort last year). Yet, as far as I can tell, NO word has been mentioned yet that Sarah will be a guess on the Autosport Radio Show this Tuesday. (7PM ET)

FAR OUT!
(Thank You letter from Sarah Fisher)

DAMN! Wish I could be there in person as Sarah’s list of FIRST’s in Indy Car’s are MORE then Danica’s...

Indy race car Stolen

And I thought it was bad enough that Clay Bennett STOLE our Beloved Sonics... But talk about starting the new season off on a bummer... As apparently USAC Silver Crown team owner Eugene Nolen had his #20 Dirt Car stolen upon his way towards the series kick-off event in Arizona.

The 2005 white Ford F350 hauler and matching white 48’ Gooseneck trailer; both with Indiana plates and race car inside were stolen from a Red Roofs Inn in Oklahoma City on February 16th and therefore driver Shane Hollingsworthwas unable to compete at theManzanita Speedway season opener, while Nolen is doubtful if he’ll be able to continue competing as his race car was uninsured...

Race car’s theft slows Indianapolis businessman’s passion

ore damaging cutback news

And ironically while Deeter Majestic’s Red Bull Racing concern is soaking up all of the PR over its new car launch, another disturbing sign of our global economic crisis has reared its ugly head with the dismissal of Austria’s premiere Formula 1 sportscaster...

Voice of Formula 1´ Heinz Prüller gets the chop

De Ferran on Autosport Radio

With the just completed Sewer-dooper-bowl over, while Danica is busy getting’ squeaky clean... And SPEED having stooped to running an all day marathon ‘O Pimp-Me-Ride... I’m feeling a tad bit similar in announcing the fact that ex-Indy 500 and double CART Champion Gil De Ferran is slated to appear as a guest upon Danny B’s most favourite radio show... Autosport Radio tomorrow...

(Weather providing, eh? As I’m not certain to what the latest snowdrift predictions are for the Indiana area...)

More bad news

Whale I suppose by now, Y’all have heard that Roger Penske has pulled the plug upon his pet project: The Raceway at Belle Isle, and therefore the 2009 IRL Labor Day event has been cancelled. This was due in large part to The Captain simply not wishing to spend anymore of his own money, along with the fact that various sponsors and race teams have departed, as Firestone has left as well as Audi and Porsche “Works” efforts from the race weekend’s supporting cast, the ALMS.

WRC teams withdraw
Adding a further blow to the global motor racing scene, comes news that both Suzuki and Subaru have decided to withdraw from the World Rally Championship and will cease their factory team’s competition immediately. This is a major blow for the WRC and now leaves only two Automobile manufacturers competing: Ford and Citroen.

And although Suzuki’s decision isn’t surprising, as they’ve generally been back markers, having only contested last season, Subaru’s whole motor sports image has long revolved around rallying, having won six WRC titles. So it will be a bitter pill for the WRC to swallow.

Will WRC’s loss be F1’s gain?
And with the departure of Subaru from rallying, whose ‘Works” efforts have long been overseen by David Richards Prodrive operation, is this a signal that Richards may be on the verge of buying the departing Honda F1 outfit? Recall that it was Richards who brought Honda its best season’s results by finishing runner-up to Ferrari in the Constructors championship in 2004, before ironically, current team boss Nick Frye sent Richards packing. So, who’ll have the last laugh? Although Richards could now have competition to buy the Brackley based squad from Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim and the Korean Auto manufacturer Hyundai?

Freak bites

Jay Howard, who won the PRI go-kart race this past Thursday was on the Speed Freaks show and once again was quite funny, just have to get use to his extremely dry wit... As apparently he pulled and Eddie “F-Bombs R-Us” Carpentier on the show when asked about Scotty “The Goose” Speed. (Otay, I’m guessing on the F-Bomb, since it seems that it was chopped via the 7 second delay...)

But, Howard has just gained a ton of respect by pointing out how un-impressed he is by all of the ranting ‘N raving over Scott “NOSE” Speed, as he just isn’t as good as everybody makes him out to be...

Good on you mate! Now, you’ve gotta listen to the Speed Freaks interview...

Jay Howard interview

And don’t think that the Indy Racing League has a popularity dilemma? As NOT one but two freakin’ fans calling in for the Santa stash give away BLEW the motorsports question... Which for Kee-wrist’s sakes was even DUMBED down to a multiple choice answer: A) RASSCAR; B) IndyCar; C) Motorcycles or D) Drag Racing?

First contestant; Ed Carpenter? Uhm? RASSCAR BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!! (Buzzer sound effect) WRONG! Then they got a female contestant, who appalled me by divulging that she’s a Formula 1 fan, as Crash Gladys said should I say it? It’s the most OBVIOUS of all! Danica Patrick? Oh I know this “Juan!” She’s... RASSCAR!!! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!

To which I burst out in laughter... No, sorry, Princess hasn’t jumped ship yet; at least I don’t think so? As Crash Gladys said later, I think that the IRLhas an identity crisis, if fans DON’T know which series Princess drives for... (I mean Edward Carpenter is a bit ‘O a stretch... Could you imagine asking ‘bout EJ Viso?) But remember kiddies’...

“7 out of 10 Danicker Patrick fans know the alphabet!”

Brickyard Inn closes

During Sunday night’s Speed Freaks show, Crash Gladys speculated that more bad news was coming henceforth from Indy Car, but she didn’t know what it was, only that Joie Chitwood had left the PRI event early and the bad news would be announced on Monday.

So, I spent the day checking the newswires, internets and blogosphere and um? Whale Nothing! And after a quick check this morning, this is the only bad news I can find regarding Indy Car...

The Brickyard Inn motel behind Turn 2 at the southeast corner of IMS is closing immediately, after 45 years of business and will be raised early next year.

According to the Indy Star report, the motel simply couldn’t keep up in these hard times, which to me isn’t surprising, having stayed there in 2007 when I went to ride around Mecca in the Indy Racing Experience’s two seater. Having guessed that the décor hadn’t been changed since the 1970’s, (Ok, so I wasn’t far off, eh?) nevertheless, I enjoyed my room as you actually had to use a real key to unlock your door and the wake-up calls were done by a real “live” person on a telephone with a rotary sounding bell tone.

Indy Celebrities

Yet, it was clean and the staff was most pleasant, even though when I asked for suggestions on where to stay, the person sheepishly mentioned the Brickyard Inn, saying... Uhm? Whale, it’s NOT exactly “State of the Art!” And there’s much nicer hotels in downtown Indiana... But the price was definitely right and it was next door to the Speedway. So perhaps a new, more modern hotel/motel will emerge in the future?

Brickyard Inn motel closes

Hobbsnobbing in London

While (Shocking?) not surprisingly... McLaren hot-schu Lewis “Jaguar” Hamilton has been collecting most of the post season award hardware, even rubbing elbows with Britain’s Prime Minister Gordon Brown...

Yet, along with young “Louise;” the “A-list” of the Autosport gala included Sir Stirling Moss, Sebastian Vettel, Ari Vatanen, Sebastian Loeb and David Coulthard, while Carl Haas was presented with a John Bolster Award for his services to motorsport...

Way to go Carl!

2008 Autosport Awards

Rossi; “I could-ah been a contender!”

Ah, “The Doctor’s” definitely in! As reigning MOTO GP champion Valentino Rossi recently completed testing a Ferrari F2008 at Mugello.

And although the Doctor was full of (himself?) his usual bravado; claiming with a little hard work, he could become an F1 challenger... But with his lap times being two seconds behind Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro’s team drivers; I don’t expect to see Rossi in the cockpit of a Ferrari F1 race car anytime soon!

And don’t forget, that Rossi’s not the only Championship interloper to recently put himself behind the wheel of a Formula 1 racecar, as “Seb,” a.k.a. Sebastian Loeb, the reigning and only five time World Rally Champion recently said during his interview on The Speed Report; Red Bull gave him a present for winning. As the French ace was shown having a seat fitting and running in the inclement weather of Silverstone in preparations for his full day of running during the recent F1 winter test at Barcelona, where Seb ran 83 laps behind the wheel of a Red Bull chassis. Loeb finished a respectable 8th out of the 17 participants...

To read more about the Doctor’s adventure, see; Valentino Rossi, where you can also follow the link to an accompanying video...

High School radio

Whale now that Wind Tunnel is done for the season, I’ve decided to start listening to the Speed Freaks broadcast full-time... And last night’s show started off fairly slow, with an opening monologue about college football, blah-blah-blah...

Then they got to their first interviewee: Larry Roeseler; 13 time overall winner of the Baja 1000, along with 17 class victories... Ten overall wins in the two wheel class, a.k.a. motorcycles, with Roeseler saying it took him 10yrs to win his first 4WD overall victory in 2004, having now claimed his third Trophy Truck victory in this year’s 631 mile “Loop” race;

SCORE TROPHY-TRUCK (Unlimited Production Trucks)—1. Roger Norman, Reno, Nev./Larry Roeseler, Irvine, Calif., Ford F-150, 12 hours, 40 minutes, 33 seconds (49.81 miles per hour);

Next up was Mark Burnett, who won the class 6 event, driving solo aboard his Ford Ranger, which is pretty impressive considering it took him some 20+ hours to complete due to a litany of mechanical woes. As Burnett told a story about the various booby traps the Mexicali’s enjoy setting up, when he was almost skewered by a steel line tied to two trees during his motorcycle days. As the wire went thru his arms, chest and helmet! And he had to ride back seven miles to get aid, before being flown by helicopter to a hospital...

Thus, this brought the inevitable from “the Sarge.” Nope! Not Tony Schumacher, the other Sarge, a.k.a. Kenny Sergeant, whom seems to have an affliction for the sizes of male attachments... As he once again wanted to know who’s got the biggest hevo’s; Asking both Roeseler and Burnett if they put their manhood out there... Whose are bigger? Scott Dixon, Indy Car; Jimmy Johnson, RASSCAR or those of Baja piloto’s...

Sorry, Kenny, but who FLIPPIN’ cares, eh? How ‘bout some real racing questions instead! Although there was a pretty good slam on Robby “Dirtman” Gordon’s shrinkage due to being a RASSCAR driver now, as he only managed to complete 17 miles...

And it seems somewhat ironic... That the site had been working, albeit it’s usual stuttering and low volume during the non-advertisement periods... But, right when we got to the breaking news on whatever GM is cutting from the motorsports arena, the site CRASHED! And I could never get the dag-nab-it thing to re-connect...

Rocky goes ballistic

Nope, I’m not referring’ to Rocky the Flying Squirrel going postal on his good friend Bullwinkle, nor beatin’ the buh-jesus outta the evil Boris & Natasha...

No, while Scotty “The Goose” Speed was getting me all riled up with his SMART ASS remarks, there was also a very brief interview on the Speed Freaks TV show just prior to the top of the first hour with “Scooter” piloto extreme Rocky Robinson, who’s just broken the two wheel land speed record at Bonneville by going 360.9mph...

HOLY SHEISA!

To check out a very cool video on the affair, see; Ack-Attack Streamliner

Speed claims IRL is Boring!

Yeah! That’s right, Scotty “The GOOSE” Speed, the ex-Formula 1 Scuderia Toro Rosso piloto, who was interviewed on the Speed Freaks show this past Sunday, on a number of topics; including Lewis Hamilton and Drag Racing, had the following to say when asked by Crash Gladys if we’d ever see him at the Indy 500, Speed said; “Honestly, I think it’s BORING to hold the throttle full down around Ovals.”

“The IRL is about half as competitive as NASCAR, maybe one quarter as much as F1!”

And then further blathered on ‘bout how you see Open Wheel Racing drivers getting their ARSE kicked by the Bomber piloto’s in the Roundy-round ranks...

Hey, Scotty! Look out, here comes Sam Hornish Jr. And he’s got a present for you, mate... It’s called the Bump ‘N Run! As Rubbin’ is Racin.’ And is it just me, or isn’t his team owner Deeter Majestic currently running NOT one but two F1 teams?

As I’m sure Y’all are wonderin’ what ‘Ol DC would have to say on the matter, eh? You can listen to the whole interview at the link below.

Speed on Speed Freaks

Branson sets sail

British tycoon Sir Richard Branson, along with his son and daughter, set off from New York harbour, last Wednesday morning around 2AM in hopes of setting a new Transatlantic sailing record aboard Branson’s Virgin Money, a 99 foot mammoth sailboat, featuring members of Britain’s America’s Cup challenge team, in hopes of bettering the current 6 days 17hrs record. But after only two days in storm conditions and being hammered by a “Mega” 40 foot wave, Branson and crew abandoned their current attempt and will sail for the nearest landfall in order to complete repairs and hopefully attack the record in the next 2-3 weeks or next year...

Move over Bubbah

Although James “”bubbah” Stewart may have just become only the second ever rider to complete a perfect season... Just caught this great story about Ashley Fiolek, who just won her very first Women’s Motocross Association championship... And what’s even more impressive about the talented 17yr old female rider is the fact that she’s deaf and cannot hear when to shift her motorcycle...

Motorcross rider uses engine rythm

Bia” drops by?

Well, I was certainly surprised to notice who the latest comment in; The Champion came from... Leaving me momentarily chagrined! As the name left was Ana Beatriz...

NO WAY! Can it really be the same Ana Beatriz who just finished third overall in this year’s Firestone Indy Lights (FIL) Championship. (And must be considered as a threat for next year’s title, eh?)

Along with finishing runner-up to first time winner Arie Luyendyk Jr. and ahead of fellow Brazilian “Rafa,” better known as Rafael Matos in this weekend’s FIL season finale at Chicagoland, where Matos was crowned 2008 Firestone Indy Lights Champion...

Therefore, Ana’s outstanding performances this year surely must mean she’s the FIL’s Rookie of the Year! Having become the series very first female winner and a semi-frequent guest upon Autosport Radio, where I’ve enjoyed all of her appearances...

Well, that was too cool “For Sure!” and really made my day...

Way to go “For Sure,” Bia!

Versus Dream Team?

Last week on the Autosport Radio show, Mr. Donald Kay had a great ‘lil broadcast with Flinstone Indy Lites driver James Davidson, Broadcaster Extraordinaire Bob Jenkins and Conquest Motorsports Team Owner Eric Bachelart...

Mr. Kay started off the show by saying how the audience had gone wild when he suggested the broadcast booth line-up for next year’s Versus television channel’s coverage of the Indy Car World Series.

Host: Bob Jenkins
Colour Commentator: Davey Hamilton
“Antagonist” Eddie Cheever

Which does pose an interesting question? As I’m guessing the likes of former voice of the 500; Host Paul Page and his colour commentator sidekick Mike Dunn, along with pit reporters Dave Rieff and Gary Gerould are contracted to ESPN2’s NHRA Drag Racing, while I’d assume that Marty Reid, Scott Goodyear and all of the bubbly pit lane personalities will stick with ABC for their 5 race deal, since there’s always some N-Car Lite race to cover after the month ‘O May, eh?

Just as long as they DON’T bring back Mr. Insert Sponsor Here Rick Benjamin... And I’m guessing Derek Daly is too provocative? But I’d take Jon Beekhuis over Mr. Cheever any day...

So, who would you like to see in the Versus broadcast booth?

If you’re really wound-up over this issue, you can try emailing Versus via their website: Versus TV and hunting for their contact info...

Oh Danny Boy

Whale there certainly seems to be quite a bit of hubbub over the previous story penned by the maestro of Open Wheel Racing, you know none other then that LUV-able curmudgeon Robin Miller...

As inquiring minds wanna know? Just where in the HELL will Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon land next season, after Miller’s infamous TK Going to Ganassi story lit up the Blogosphere and hence I’m assuming Y’all tuned into Wind Tunnel last night, eh?

As one pundit noted, “Dental Plan Dan,” is going to get his shot in ‘dem Tin Top bombers after all! As it appears that The Cheepster is set to do an in-house driver swap, with two BLOODY BLOKES changin’ rides... Err, me thinks a Scot AIN’T NO BLOODY Englishman, but I digress...

As Y’all will be chompin’ at the bit to know just what’s goin’ on in Cheepsterland, eh? Yep! Danny Boy will take over the previously vacated Ganassi/Sabates No. 42 Dodge, with Dario “Where’s my Pants” Franchitti making a return to Open Wheel Racing aboard TCGR’s No. 10 Polaroid Special... (Whale, Otay, Perhaps NOT, eh?)

But seriously folks, what’s all of this talk ‘bout Wheldon not being successful upon Road Courses and hence he’ll be replaced by none other than Bruno “Whiney Bags” Junqueira? Or that Newman Haas Lanigan would let potential series superstar Graham “Son ‘O Stash” Rahal leave their fold?

Yet, the burning question seems to be where will Wheldon ultimately end up? As Indy aficionado Danny B sez; we know he’s NOT going to Penske or AGR... Could he wind-up in a second Rahal Letterman Racing chassis? As that’d be a nice grouping of Ryan “The Dude” Hunter Reay partnered with Danny Beckum Wheldon... But can Wheldon bring any sponsorship with him? As you know RLR isn’t running a second car this season because of a lack ‘O funding.

Of course there’s always Oriel Servia’s seat at KV Racing Technology or any of the other Champ Car Ref, Err Transition teams... Not to mention the lesser known IRL entities... Like some of ‘dem perennial meat packer’s, Err Mid-pack team named Vision Racing...

Yet, it would seem that being from England and having began racing go karts at the tender age of four... Before coming Across the Pond to contest Formula Ford and Toyota Atlantics, prior to making his IRL debut driving two events alongside Sam Hornish Jr. at Panther Racing in 2002, Wheldom MUST have some Road Racing prowess?

Interestingly, Wheldon entered into a rivalry with fellow Brit Jenson Button prior to coming to America, as he’d like to have continued his way up the ladder towards Formula 1 but didn’t have the financial backing... And if Wheldon’s such a right turning slouch, then why did BMW Sauber offer him a contract in 2006? And reportedly Wheldon said he’d like to look at his F1 options after his contract with Chip Ganassi was up...

So, wait a minute, I’ve got it! As The Cheepster’s done it before, as in recall Montoya was worth the price of two F3000 drivers... Yeah, I can now see it very clearly! The Hamburgular will come over to TCGR with Danny Beckum taking up his seat at Scuderia Toro Rosso... Yeah, that’s the ticket! (Nah, I’d expect Wheldon to re-sign for TCGR next season...)

Racing fodder

While still fuming over the BASTARDIZED Indy Car calendar... Here’s a few quick tidbits to ponder.

Il Notre Dam
”Kana-duh’s” favourite(?) son Jacky V, a.k.a. Jacques Villeneuve will NOT surprisingly attempt to resurrect his floundering RASSCAR Tin Top career with a solo outing in this weekend’s N-Car Lite race on the Il Notre Dam’s Circuit Gilles Villeneuve. (Saturday) Apparently the forces to be, have helped ensured that the Kuh-nuck will give his fellow Canadian’s something to cheer ‘N spend their “Looney’s” on when Jack Vanilla pilots the #32 brown Racing Toyota Camry...

You may wish to also check out the Grand Am Boyzs blastin’ about the man made isle on the St. Lawrence River tonight on SPEED at 8PM EASTERN. (5PM Pacific)

UPDATE:
I just learned that Pat the Carpenter, a.k.a. Patrick Carpentier will give up his Sprint Cup ride this weekend in favour of competing for the overall win on the Il Notre Dam in this weekend’s Nationwide racing event. Apparently Carpentier wishes to commemorate his one year anniversary of Tin Top racing fighting against his ex-Open Wheel rival in his home country...

Michael’s Boo-Boo
Perhaps you’ve heard about Michael Schumacher’s latest traffic incident? Apparently while trying to put the “Schuey-swerve” upon an unsuspectingmotorist while in another classic hurry to the airport, Herr Schumacher failed to see a fellow motorist opening his garage door... As the Seven Time World Champion then struck the hapless pedestrian and sent him sprawling across his hood, to which the German was quick to give the startled Brit a massive tongue lashing, before the two exchanged insurance information.

Of course this pales in comparison to the sad news I first learned about while watching this morning’s Hunga-boring F1 practice.

A death at Enstone
The Renault F1 team was shocked on Wednesday when a research and development engineer was found dead at the team factory in Enstone. Police and paramedics were called and William Millar was pronounced dead at the scene. There have been press reports that a firearm was involved, but neither the police nor the team are currently making any comment about the matter while police investigate the circumstances.
(Source: Grandprix.com)

Groundhog Day?

You know things are going’ downhill when you cannot even get mildly excited about recapping your trip adventures at Der Hockenheimring, Ja Volt? As I sat down to fill in the blanks by watching my tape delayed TV coverage and just couldn’t find myself motivated... And now we’re onto the Hunga-Boring Ring, which should provide further banter for some of uze Oval Track nutten-hoonds! So, Boo Hoo-hoo , eh? (As my report will follow shortly sometime next week)

Instead, I found myself chuckling over Robin Miller’s latest sarcastic remarks on last Sunday’s Wind Tunnel, regarding Gerry “What me Worry?” Forsythe over the matter that he’ll not only be in the Indy Lights championship next year, but also sprouting full time Indy Car and ALMS efforts...

Robin Miller;
“Let’s recall that Gerry threw Paul Tracy under the bus and he’ll only go racing if he gets somebody else to pay for it. He’s been seeking a sponsorship price tag of $10-15 million per season the past 4+ years and hasn’t gotten any takers, so I’ll believe Gerry’s returning when I see him show up on the grid...”

Yet, Forsythe/Pettit Racing does have the very capable “KUH-Naid-iun Hinge” (James Hinchcliffe) racing for him and it would be a shame to not see this promising Kuh-Nuck make his way forward in Open Wheel Racing. Shockingly he has Tire Rack sponsorship to go along with Forsythe’s “In-house” Indeck labeling...

Of course I’m still guessing that “Young Wicky,” a.k.a. Robert Wickens; aptly nicknamed by Hinchcliffe will potentially become the next Canadian to break into the Formula 1 ranks, but I digress...

And speakin’ of ‘Ol Chrome Horn, Pt, Messer Paul Tracy was interviewed on Speed Freaks last Sunday evening... And started off by confirming that indeed some of his ex-Forsythe crew had bet against The Thrill from West Hill being able to crack the top twenty at Edmonton, having actually placed large pocketful’s ‘O “Looney’s” against PT, who said he didn’t need any motivation for his return to Open Wheel Racing...

And Tracy claimed that he wasn’t drinking the cool aide, but me thinks he was, as PT noted; “It’s NOT TG’s (Tony George) fault that Champ Car floundered... Aye Karumba! Who’d ever thunk-it, eh? As ‘lil Napoleon is directly responsible for outspending Champ Car and putting Open Wheel Racing in the sewer...

Which leads me to my last ‘lil piece of bathroom tissue... In regards to the most PATHETIC handling of Indy Car’s future TV package, which claims that the only serious taker is some fly by night third world satellite channel named Versus... Have you ever heard ‘O dat?

I certainly have NOT and why did this bring back immediate flashbacks of the ridiculous TV programming NIGHTMARE I endured a decade ago over Formula 1... As I’m certain I’ve already written ‘bout chasing the Creme de la Creme of single seater racing around the dial. As first they began on ESPN, and then moved to the David Letterman time slot on the Deuce, a.k.a. ESPN2, before being shown on Fox Sports NW... Before ultimately landing on Speedvision, of which my CRAPY cable provider REFUSED to add to its channel line-up and I finally succumbed to purchasing a DISH Network satellite dealie in order to view Formula 1 and CART on SPEED!

So go ahead Indy Car... Throw your pathetic TV coverage in the TOILET! As the only thing worse then Versus would be hosting further Indy Car races on El Classicoe, or is that ESPN88, eh?

Sarah’s new chariot?
Just spotted this on My Name is IRL… That Sarah Fisher has gone off Elephant riding at the Indiana Zoo and the new mount named Tombi, is quite impervious to El Supremo Blocking Jobs… Not even Marco Andretti can upset this beast! But hey, I hear that at least its got plenty of room on its sidepod’s for sponsors…

Tracy goin’ Truckin’

Last night on Speed Freaks, Paul Tracy was interviewed about his recent testing outing in Chicago, where Mr. Chrome Horn tested a Toyota Tundra for Germain Racing, after the team asked him if he’d be willing to test for them. Tracy said the test went very good and he’s now set to make his Truck debut at Las Vegas on September 20th in the truck normally driven part time by Chrissy Wallace, with Tracy’s debut occurring in the 39yr old backyard.

Paul also mentioned that he’ll be participating in this years Goodwood Festival of Speed… Basically the Earle of Marcque called me up and asked if I’d want to drive some vintage cars if they paid for me and the missus to fly over first class… And I said sure, I’m NOT doin’ anything at the moment…

PT noted he’d be driving a few ex-Penske Champ Cars along with a few Lola’s, one being driven by Graham Hill in 1966 and the other belonging to none other then his ex-arch nemesis The Hamburgular, a.k.a. Sebastian Bourdais… Of which Tracy noted was pretty funny since he’d be driving the car of the driver he spent the past 4-5 years of his career hating!

And while rumours still abound over Derrick Walker putting together a “one-off” for Tracy to contest the upcoming Edmonton Indy Car event, Tracy seems to believe his long term prospects are more likely to come from the RASSCAR side of the fence, as he sees his Los Wage$ debut as a tryout for a fulltime Trucks gig in 2009…

Schuey races again

Schuey races again
Michael Schumacher recently returned to the saddle, contesting his first Pro Bike race in Oschersleben, Germany, where the Seven Time Formula 1 World Champion started from the final row of the grid in his first Superbike event, part of the IDM German International Championship, where he’ll compete alongside current champion Martin Bauer for Holzhauer Racing.

Having finished 23rd in morning qualifying, Schumacher finished in last place, 39th after his Honda stalled due to electrical problems caused by inclement weather, during the afternoon qualifying session, while Schumacher stated;

"I plan to roll up the field from behind anyhow,"

Schumacher had tried vainly to avoid intense media scrutiny by trying to enter the event under a psidium:
“As Organizers tried to register Schumacher under a false name — Marcel Niederecken — but later used his real one because of insurance issues."

Although Schuey’s finishing position wouldn’t have originally qualified him for the event, several riders (including Schumacher) were given special dispensation to participate as some riders had competed in the dry with others having to run in the rain.

The 39 year old German aboard his Honda CBR1000RR, having skidded out in a gravel pit and failing to complete the afternoon’s race, noted after having passed several riders and running 21st at the time of the incident;

"What incredible fun," a race like that is lot better than a test, and it was great to prove myself out there."

In the morning event, Michael finished 28th overall after having rolled off 37th out of 39 riders, as apparently Schumacher isn’t content in his retirement to sit on the porch, as the Superbike racing is very hotly contested, and the bikes feature nearly two-hundred horsepower in race trim…

Operation Support Sarah

First of all, I’d like to give a big “shout-out” to Full Throttle; My Name is IRL; Indy Racing Revolutions and Press Dog for all writing about Sarah Fisher’s financial plight caused by the delinquency of her proposed sponsors Gravity Entertainment and ResQ failing to honor their commitments.

Now according to Press Dog, you can get your very own limited edition Support Sarah Fisher Racing T-Shirt by attending this year’s Community Day;

“INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Sarah Fisher Racing (SFR) announced today that fans participating in the Community Day autograph session would receive a limited edition SFR “I Support SFR” shirt for donations made to the team for the 92nd running of the Indianapolis 500.”

For those of you like myself who are unable to attend but may be wishing to help support Sarah, you can send donations to:

David A. Noyes & Co.
Attn: Sarah Fisher Racing (SFR)
111 Monument Circle, Suite 300
Indianapolis IN 46204

And yes, your humble scribe has already sent in his contribution and is also a sponsor of this year’s #67 SFR Dallara/Honda/Firestone entry…

Good Luck this Sunday, Sarah!

The Sarah Fisher Saga

I was gonna try writing something further about the continuing saga of Sarah Fisher’s struggle for funding, as previously written in; ALL WET? But the good doctors of said blunted knuckles (Humor) at Full Throttle and My Name is IRL have already done the heavy lifting instead…

According to Jeff, you can Help save the Flying Fish; Err help a THIRSTY Honda engine consume fast amounts ‘O Ethanol. Or as Mr. CHiP’s has pointed out; You can send a portion of your Stimulus check to the Save Sarah Fisher Fund;

David A. Noyes & Co.
Attn: Sarah Fisher Racing (SFR)
111 Monument Circle, Suite 300
Indianapolis IN 46204


And speaking of All Wet… That’s exactly what I am, having to trek to the Post Office whose once again raised the price of stamps, but hey! “The checks in the mail!”

Dog Day Afternoon

Ever think you’re having “Juan ‘O ‘dem” Dog Day Afternoons?” As the following story was sent to me by AZ Bureau Chief Mary Jane…

Driver Forced Out After Killing Stray Dog
By PAUL LOGOTHETIS, AP
Posted: 2008-05-11 13:14:46

ISTANBUL, Turkey (May 11) - Bruno Senna was furious after having to abandon the GP2 race on Sunday with car troubles.

As Bruno Senna was involved in one of the most bizarre accidents ever witnessed at a motor-racing circuit. The Brazilian driver hits and kills a stray dog at the Istanbul Park track during a GP2 Series race that was part of Turkish Grand Prix weekend.
The problem?The front-right section of his car was mangled after he hit a dog that had made its way on to the Istanbul Speed Park circuit."It's unreal that something like this can happen at a Formula One event," said Senna, who is the nephew of three-time world F1 champion Ayrton Senna. "You expect an accident or retirement to take you out. Not this."Mike Conway of Super Nova just clipped the canine before Senna killed it on impact with 12 laps to go after working his way up to sixth from a 15th-place start.A second stray dog managed to get off the track during the race and escape through an exit.

And having just finished watching the tape of the Turkish GP2 race weekend, I can tell you that none of the SPEED TV announcers were very impressed by this unnecessary incident, with Professor Matchett being the most critical, saying that chief FIA delegate Charlie Whiting will be more than likely to bring it to the attention of the Race organizers that stray animals shouldn’t be wandering about the racing circuit! As this immediately makes me flash back to Cristiano Da Matta’s horrific incident when striking an errant Deer at Road America.

NO Dogs were injured, maimed or killed in the making of this story…

Update
Fore more on the various animals that have caused unintentional chaos with racing carssee; its Not just a Dogs life

Tony’s money maker

Don’t know why this caught my eye… As I tend to think of the IMS as NOT being technically savvy… Yet apparently a deal has been struck with Cha Cha… Nope, don’t fret. This AIN’T no smooshy tie-in with the Oxygen Channel, nor “le trio des femelles,” a.k.a. Princess, Milka and Sarah; Ooh lah lah, “Tres chaud, Mon Cherie!”

And it ain’t Shirley “Cha Cha” Muldohney either… Unless she’s found a white fire suit to saunter about Gasoline Alley…

No, Tony George is going’ somewhere… (Insert joke here?) Err, the Speedway is going’ High-tech as its just awarded another exclusive contract to Cha Cha, a Carmel, CA based internets start-up, which will provide official mobile answers services for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the month of May. As you can now ask Cha Cha any IMS related questions via your cell phone.

Q) How many cars will show up on “Boomp” Day?
A) Search results; Sorry, there were NO ANSWERS found matching your query…

And the service will also feature text alerts, which apparently were tried out this past weekend…

BUZZ- BUZZ- BUZZ!!! Ernesto Jose Viso; “You’re entering the WRONG Pit Stall (YOU NIMROD!) Continue to proceed 1,000 Feet FARTHER!!!

To which Eddie Carpentier sent EJ the following; Get the F%%K OUT of MY Pit you smarmy Brazilian…

FLASH: Whoa, Big Fella! Ease up Mr. Edwardo, Mezs un Ruukie…

BUZZ- BUZZ- BUZZ!!! Car #20, this is Brian Barnhart. Report to my office IMMEDIATELY!

HMM? Wonder if this is how Larry Curry got the memo on his dismissal?

Image building

While Dan-Dan-Danicker… May be the hottest commodity on the market right now, nevertheless, rumours abound that seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher is set to cash in on his good looks and charming personality… Well ok, but hey, L’Oreal was indeed after all one of his personal sponsors and he is a legend…

And although his previous acting credits to date are highlighted by his voice-over role alongside Mr. Boogity-boogity-boogity in CARS… The chisel-jawed German will indeed play himself in the forthcoming Michael Schumacher Story according to long time manager Willi Weber.

Meanwhile, Herr Schumacher’s nine year old son Mick, has just completed his first go kart race, using his Mother’s maiden name (Betsch) instead, not to draw too much media scrutiny upon ones self, having finished 8th and 10th in the races two heats. Could we have another Schumacher prodigy in the making?

Schuey’s new career?

While some media outlets were rumour-mongering the impending replacement of Felipe Massa with Ferrari wunderkind Michael Schumacher... Or the return of some double world champion Finn. (What day was it once again, Tuesday?)

And although I didn’t come up with anything nearly as clever as My Name is IRL’s scooping us on Pablo Doughnut’s hiring for the second seat at AJ Foyt Enterprises, nevertheless it was surprising to hear that the Seven Time F1 World Champion was making his debut in Motorcycle racing…

Yes, that’s correct! At the tender age of 39yrs old, the German donned his leathers ‘N crash bucket and took part in a minor KTM race held in Misano, Italy this past Sunday.

Having started on the front row, Schumacher fell back to 11th place before putting the hammer down, recording his fastest time on the race’s final lap, with a top speed of 204.8 kph. (127 mph) As the lap was good enough to net him the second fastest overall lap time with eventual winner Andrea Padovani. Stealing the fastest lap honours on the white flag lap with Schuey finishing in fourth, 5.169 seconds behind…

UPDATE
This just in from across the pond, Herr Schumacher was called up by the Ducati MOTO GP team to fill in as its test driver at Mugello, after the team’s normal tester was unavailable. Schumacher ran 42 laps, some 8 seconds off the current pace and stressed once again that while it was great fun and a honour to be asked by Ducati to fill in, he has NO plans of competing in MOTO GP…

Max appeal

AYE KARUMBA!!!

As the pleasant morning tranquility(?) of yesterday was shattered while posting the bleepin’ IndyCarzs stories, as some tawdry story appeared in my mailbox courtesy of Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B…

It was a ‘lil expose ‘bout MAD MAXXUM’s alleged tryst over the past weekend… Of which I wasn’t even gonna comment on at first, but Mosley’s scandalous lust for playing prison intern with a bunch ‘O German Fraulein’s seems to be burning up all of the internets…

(For those of you really desperate? I’ll leave you to your own to search out the video clips currently smoldering on the British tabloids!)

For those of you unaware of Messer Maxxum’s indiscretions… You may want to read the following(?) FIA silent on Mosley sex allegations

HMM? What’s the fastest way to get rid of somebody in the public spotlight? Wonder if this will speed up Sir Maxxum’s impending retirement, especially since Jean Todt is looking for something new to do…

Carber-RATT-ur Day

Still don’t have any inkling how Messer Gourdoun’s outing at the RASSCAR woodshed went today…

But, one more reason Robby may wish to focus upon competing at Indy this May is the headliner for ‘Ol Milwaukee’s, Err Miller beer’s Carburetor Day concert.

You may recall that some RAPPER was the big Dawg last year, Nope, weren’t Snoop Dog Dog, nor 85 center… It was some guy named Kid Rock. Now reports claim that this year’s entertainers will be the just reunited Stone Temple Pilots, who are sure to put the audience in a Rockin’ mood, when the infield will be filled with admiring Hoosier’s. Previous groups to entertain the masses include the B-52’s and the Black Crows…

So perhaps Dirtmann will wanna drive his street legal Hummer Dakar buggy down to 16th & Georgetown and catch the show. HMM? I wander if that MONSTER drinks mobile will fit thru the tunnel? Yet, I’m sure that the Yellow shirts will tell the Californian where’d duh go, eh?

Jimmy Clark film festival

Reports claim that Kevin K’s G5 aeroplane lifted off from Indianapolis this morning around 11:40AM. Seems that Messer Kalkhoven was in a hurry to get back to Bloody ‘Ol England in order to make both days of some cinema shows…

On a somewhat more serious note, it’s hard to imagine that Scotland’s Jim Clark perished forty years ago, as this truly legendary Formula 1 World Champion was fatally injured while contesting a non-championship event at Hockenheim on April 7, 1968.

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of this very sad occurrence, there will be a special film festival held this weekend in Oxford shire, England to honour Jimmy Clark’s magnificent motor racing achievements…

Jim Clark Film Festival

Tin tops for Ralfanso

While big brother Michael was winging his way towards his personal island, Il Wurld der Schuey after a round of golf and catching some tin top racing, baby huey, err, Ralfanso was busy kicking the tires on Mercedes Benz saloons as he was busy auditioning for the DTM circus for the upcoming season.

Ralf Schumacher has twice tested the C class Merc in preparations for joining the German Touring Car series this year, as Mercedes Benz has just announced that indeed the Junior Schuey will drive for the factory team in 2008. Apparently the Stuttgart firm was desperate to find somebody to replace Mika Hakkinen, whom retired at the end of 2007…

And perhaps Norbert Haag will want to keep this in mind when it comes time to renegotiate Ralfanso’s contract; Schuey Jr makes up bogus F1 talk

Terre Haute Trio

This is the type of feel good story that makes you want to immediately get involved with the project, as the amount of positive energy soothing out of my ‘lil confuzers pocket sized speakers was overwhelming…

Yet, how often do you hear about race tracks getting saved from the grim reaper? As Dave King has convinced Brian Dorsett and Davey Hamilton to partner him in an effort to bring an ‘Ol Dirt Track back to prominence and I only learned about this via Don Kay’s interview on his Autosport Radio show, where he cleverly billed his week’s guests as the Terre Haute Trio. After explaining who they were, Don let two thirds of the triumberant run rough shod over his program as Dave and Bryan explained what their vision was for the Terre Haute Action Track, while unfortunately the third hombre Davey Hamilton was tied up in a meeting. You may wish to check out this interview with Dave King; Terre Haute Action Track Special. As I wish them all the best with their new Endeavour. Hell makes me want to check out this race track and I’m NOT even a Sprint Car fan…

Love stinks, yeah-yeah

While Tony’s away in Jolly ‘Ol England witnessing the nuptial of the Cheepster’s Scott Dixon, I spotted the following video while surfing the net for any further media leaks upon the OWR situation. And I found it pretty funny to notice that Dan “Spike” Wheldon has cut the following video. You know, he’s the guy who once courted Nicole Manske when she was a blonde.

Yet, apparently it wasn’t all roses ‘N chocolates for the Ronster, as apparently He and Mrs. Dennis have filed for divorce after a partnership of 22 years. Perhaps Stepney-gate wasn’t the only spy scandal going on in Woking?

Meanwhile, Booby Ruble and Scott Sharp obviously weren’t sending each other any Valentine’s cards, as Rahal has won a judge’s preliminary ruling that Sharp indeed breached his contract by leaving RLR in order to jump ship to the American Le Man Series. But the judge told Rahal not to get too excited as he wouldn’t grant him his request to bar Sharp from driving in 2008…

MOTO GP

For those of you interested, you can now double your pleasure of two wheel thunder, as there are now two US rounds on the MOTO GP calendar.

2008 MOTO GP Calendar

March 9 Qatar Doha/Losail

March 30 Spain Jerez de la Frontera

April 13 Portugal Estoril

May 4 China Shanghai

May 18 France Le Mans

June 1 Italy Mugello

June 8 Catalunya Montmelo

June 22 Great Britain Donington Park

June 28 Netherlands Assen **

July 13 Germany Sachsenring

July 20 United States Laguna Seca *

August 17 Czech Republic Brno

August 31 San Marino Misano

September 14 Indianapolis Indianapolis

September 28 Japan Motegi

October 5 Australia Phillip Island

October 19 Malaysia Sepang

October 26 Valencia Ricardo Tormo - Valencia

Swimsuits and Eskimo pies

While another day has passed without any hullabaloo over the latest status of Open Wheel Racing, as Mr. George is off to BLOODY England and the Four Moosketeers are busy holding a conference call… Err, hold ALL of our calls and tell Robin Miller we’re NOT here!

For those of you keeping score, Team Canada will be traveling back North, Eh? As both Jack Vanilla and Pat the Carpenter failed to race their way into this weekend’s Daytona 500. Villeneuve spun and crashed, taking out three competitors’s including Dario “Where’s my pants?” Franchitti…

But never fear, Dario and Sam “I am” Hornish are assured of making the cut this Sunday as they both have top 35 rides, which guarantees them entry into the first five events. Hornish’s points come courtesy of Curt Busch, who’ll use his Champion’s provisional to make the races if necessary…

Meanwhile, needing to cool off from all of the firestorms surrounding the potential Open Wheel consolidation, making a big splash all by herself, is none other than the Princess. As Danica Patrick graces the pages of Sports illustrated swimsuit issue with a four page spread. It’s on your newsstands now…

Toyota gunning for No. 1

Perhaps I misspoke too soon, as I was led to believe that the Toyota Motor Corporation had surpassed General Motors as the Number One automaker in the world last year.

Yet Toyota has indeed overtaken the Ford Motor Corporation for the Number 2 position this year and the race between the General and its Asian rival appears to be neck ‘N neck as the two behemoths race nose to tail towards the chequered flag, although most auto industry insiders have given the nod to Toyota, both auto manufacturers seem to be staying mum on the subject…

LeMay adds Star power

I’ve just been informed by No Fenders Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen that “Lone Star JR” (Johnny Rutherford) has joined the Harold Lemay museum’s Board of Directors. This is fantastic news for the museum, which has very ambitious plans to house one of the most amazing private collections of automobiles in a state of the art facility in Downtown Tacoma. The museum plans to break ground in 2008 with first stage construction being completed in 2009 and Opening festivities in 2010…

Second Fiddle?

So I couldn’t help laughing after reading about American ex-Formula 1 pilote Scott “Nose” Speed’s baptism to Southern Fried cookin’

In case you haven’t heard, Speed completed his very first test in an ARCA Re Max bomber at Talladega yesterday, where he reveald some of the startling differences between the world of F1 and (Ack!) Roundy Round. Notin’ that he was so used to somebody buckling him in and carrying his crash bucket…

Geez Scott, you means uze gotz-ta buckle yourz own seats belts? As well as carry your own Helmet. I mean c’mon your only testin’ an beginner’s Stock Car!

Hmm, wonder how “Half Gainer” Dario will fair in testin’ Or did the Flyin’ Scot forget to strap himself in?

Construction work begins at Indy

Ok, so just how does “Juan” get over the giddiness of riding aboard a 180mph land shark around the Speedway! As I‘ve been busy scribbling down my thoughts of this most excellent adventure over the past few weeks…

Being driven onto the Brickyard grounds to report to the Formula 1 garages for my ride Danny b pointed out how the Red bull hospitality suite was still being dismantled two days after the Brickyard 400.

And as we tried to avoid the billowing dust clouds being created by the construction work, a Yellow Shirt (IMS worker) tweeted his whistle at us, apparently thinking we were a couple ‘O mangy Dawg’s? So we obliged and walk down the dusty torn up road with the earthmoving equipment busily scraping away at the infield portion of IMS in earnest.

This construction work is the major renovations being conducted to the newly announced 2008 MOTO GP event. Which entails a reconfiguring of the road course to a 16 turn layout running the opposite direction of the previous Formula 1 races. Thus seeing all three of IMS’s major events “Turnin’ Left.”

Interestingly Joey Chitwood, IMS’s “COO-COO” Bird and chief mouthpiece for Tony George claims that a vintage Indian motorcycle has been acquired and is being restored in time to run the very first parade laps of the newly developed road course upon completion. But Chitwood has zero interest in being the vintage “Scooters” pilot for said occasion…

Wolfman Jack?

Apparently I should give up on the multi-taskin’ Since as I was furiously pounding’ away at the keyboard. I completely forgot about the weekly Autosport Radio broadcast hosted by Mr. Donald Kay. Therefore missing the past two weeks internets airing’s.

This Tuesday’s show should be a pretty good “Juan,” Since master of ceremonies DK has lined up Cruz Pedregon... and Andrew Haynes. Neatly tying into the upcoming MAC Tools US Nationals big whopper NHRA event. Check it out, as Messer Donald always asks some pretty off beat questions…

Live Webcast

While in Indianapolis Danny B introduced me to a little ‘ol radio show held weekly. This webcast is held live Tuesday evenings (7PM Eastern) and airs for 1 hour via the internets on Autosport Radio.

The program is hosted by don Kay live from McGilvery's Speedway, a local bar & restaurant nearby the Brickyard. The week that I visited the show was quite entertaining with DM being quite funny… Along with Roger Bailey, whom I believe was once the captain of Indy Lights.

You know the series that used to be the final stepping stone prior to graduating into CART. Interestingly I think I heard over the din of the crowd that Mr. Bailey is now involved in the Indy Pro Series.

Of course I was off by one week towards being in the audience for the show. As I would have definitely made plans to attend seeing two multi Indy 500 champions at once. As the two guests were none other than Big Al and Lone Star JR. Otherwise known as Al Unser Sr and Johnny Rutherford whom have a total of seven victories at the Brickyard combined! And I don’t know the history between Donald K. and the two guests. But Big Al was a total crack-up, causing me to go into hysteric laughing fits. As he made quips about Johnny being late because he’d needed to take a pee break while driving the pace car for five hours in the rain at Michigan…

And it’s pretty hilarious to drop in live pre-broadcast and be able to hear everybody getting’ their game faces on before Mr. Kay starts the show. So if you’re interested in a local Indianapolis perspective on the world of Open Wheel Racing then check out Autosport Radio this Tuesday…

What not to do in Baja

This story was sent to me by Danny B And I have to say it’s one of the strangest stories I’ve read about in quite a while. When a stricken competitor in the Baja was killed while obtaining a lift to a nearby checkpoint. This occurred when the vehicle he was riding in unsecured rolled down an embankment...

Outfoxing the competition?

And although I’m suspect of Tony G’s hometown paper, The Indy Star. Nevertheless they claim that the IRL had a 1.1 share vs. Champ Car’s .06 share in the Nielsen ratings during June 24th,s “Mano E Mano” race day TV coverage. (Cleveland vs. Iowa) See Hard Rock vs. Corn

Which makes me wonder what this past weekend’s ratings will be between F1 and Nextel Cup? As it seems a bit funny for the F1 circus to get the mainstream channel vs. cable. Although I found myself jumping over to the Champ Car race during commercial breaks in the later stages of the F1 race. As Champ Car was on ABC’s Family ‘O Networks “premiere” cable outlet ESPN.

But I’ll eave the explanations of what the Nielsen share ratings mean to Indiana Bureau Chief and SPEED TV Lightning Rod bearer Danny B, as it doesn’t mean “JACK” to me.

Meanwhile as Tony George publicly continues his “Sand in the Line’ rhetoric of holding a deadline of July 12th over Emperor Bernardo’s head. HA-HA- HA- HA- HA!!! Good “Juan” Tony… Rumours claim that Mr. Muppet spent the days preceding the French GP in Los Vegas trolling the Wynn Casino over a possible return to the streets ‘O “Los Wages…” Which held a pathetic little ‘ole Grand Prix in the Caesar’s Palace parking lot 25 years ago.

Yet Robin Miller has reported that George & Co. have already secured their fallback plan, by reportedly having inked a deal for Moto GP to compete on Indy’s road course beginning in 2008. And I for one would be willing to see the creme de la creme of Scooter’s racing at the Brickyard. After all, the Moto GP 2 wheelers are the Formula 1 of Motorcycling!

TV Fodder

While setting up the ‘ole VCR for this weekend’s races. I thought I’d pass along the following programming notes.

Sunday’s Canadian Grand Prix race coverage is on FOX. The Il Notre Dam event marks the beginning of SPEED’s big brother FOX’s four race coverage.

Apparently this is how FOX will fill its now empty RASSCAR time slot, airing the next four F1 races in a row. With two live and two tape delayed. Yet FOX will not host the usual half hour pre-race show as seen on SPEED, which will host its usual practice and qualifying coverage.

And after six weeks away from the telescreen, Champ Car will make its grand re-appearance on ABC.

As ALWAYS! Check your local listing for race day air times…

TV Land

Yeah, I know its summer time and I should most definitely be outside enjoying the weather…

But I find it most humorous that I cannot seem to find an unbiased media report upon the battle of the titans over Memorial Day weekend TV ratings.

The general consensus is that the Indianapolis 500 ratings were slightly down while RASSCAR garnered a “higher” share than the Indy Racing League. (Uh Duh!) Which of course should come as NO surprise. Yet even some reports claim that the Coke-a-Cola 600 ratings were also down.

So why all of the bother over TV ratings? Well I just find it hilarious that my “Wunderful” ABC affiliate KOMO has once again chosen to broadcast the Children’s Miracle Network (Children’s Hospital fundraiser) during this weekend’s Milwaukee Indy Car race.

Is this just another sign of how far Open Wheel racing has faltered in the only statistic important to the Networks (TV ratings) or MORONIC programming? Guess I’ll just have to go enjoy the weather instead! Way to go KOMO...

Future Formula 1 Star

There are several second generation “Names” out there currently cutting their teeth in the various “feeder” series, with aspirations of Formula 1 “grandeur.”

Names such as Sennaa, Mansell, Piquet, Rosberg, Andretti, Rahal and Tambay are just a few of the luminaries setting their sights on the pinnacle of motorsport.

Lamenting the demise of the Red Bull young driver talent search, which brought us current American Formula 1 “Torch Bearer” Scott Speed. I’ve noticed that Linksheaven has its own adopted “Young Gun.”

Jean Michelle Cousteau, err Jan Michael Vincent. Nope, that’s NOT it… It’s John Michael Edwards, who currently competes in the Champ Car Atlantics for the Forsythe/Red Bull team. And best of all, I see that Messer Edwards has finally passed his Driving test!

I’m happy to say that No Fenders has just named the very first recipient of the “NOFENDSO” (NO Fenders STAR of Tomorrow Driver) Trophy.

The award would have included a scholarship, but No Fenders is a “Schue-String” operation, hence there’s not enough in the Piggy Bank to pay for our selected candidate’s engine rebuilds. Let alone sponsor an entire race season.

So just who is the NOFENDSO Trophy winner you ask? It’s none other than Marcus Wilkinson.

The 15 year old Mr. Wilkinson is a New York native whom is busy preparing for the upcoming season and will compete in Mini Indy League karts at Batavia International Motorsports Park. (BIMP) Where Marcus has just finished inspecting his leased mount as well as doing a track “walk about” during orientation. This was the prelude for the season’s impending “Kick Off” event.
With the upward progression to the faster Kart, Marcus begins his third season of racing, after having begun his career behind the wheel of his very first race car, a 1987 Microd.

And Marcus was quick out of the box, finishing second in his debut at Starlite Speedway in 2005. In his second season, Marcus won the 2006 Starlite Invitational Trophy as well as finishing 7th in the Tri County Championship.

NO Fenders eagerly await's Marcus’s first Mini Indy League karting victory as well as his continued success. Now I must scramble to have the Trophy created...

Good Luck!

Grey Bar du Hilton

OOPS! It appears that Paris Hilton may not be able to make the rounds in “Monnaquoe” after all, as the starlet has just been sentenced to 45 days in jail.

And the headline notes that they hope Paris “Likes Chicken.” As the blonde strumpet has been ordered to “Not Pass Go!” Nor try finding a swank, secluded “Celeb’s Only” minimum security prison to do her time. “Excuse me Guard. Does this Orange jump suit clash with my hair? And I really need to have a manicure…”

No, Paris is going to have to do “Hard Time? As it depends on whether or not there are bunks available at “Chez Grey Bar du Motel.” (And I’m sure her lawyer’s will be working overtime on preparing her briefs…)

Meanwhile in Holland, Spyker is pushing forward with the launch of its newest facility, The F1 Sports Bar. Along with tapping Heineken as their “Official Brew.” So, perhaps they’ll delay the Grand Opening ceremony until after the chagrined Ms. Hilton returns from solitary confinement. Then again what better way to endorse your newest “bubbly.”

Cheers Paris…

What’s wrong with “RACIN”

Watching my favourite Motorsports “talk show,” Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain a few week’s ago, I was left pondering if “Juan” ‘O his callers from California was reading Robin Miller’s script?

The caller claimed the problem with Champ Car is that there’s NO consistency, while comparing the Long Beach Champ Car race to Talladega Nights, err Nextel Cup at Talladega, Alabama…

Now I’m not exactly sure that any responsible track owner/operator would wish to be currently compared with Talladega. After the “Deep Fried Yea-Hoo’s” got carried away with throwing cans and bottles onto the race track! (Can you imagine Bernie Ecclestone letting such a thing happen?)

Yet, as this was prior to the recent RASSCAR flare-ups over “Pretty Boy Floyd’s” passing of ‘Ol Ironhead’s career victories tally, the caller pointed out the obvious.

“I mean there’s NO fan involvement in Champ Car. NOBODY’S wearing any team merchandise. I mean not only do the Nextel Cup fans wear Dale Earnhart T-Shirrs, but they’ve also got matching No. 8 red “BUTT-WIPER” team jackets…” (Ok so I added the Beer reference, but I think you get the point?)

I find the “guilty fans” behavior totally DISPICABLE at RASSCAR’s last two events… Perhaps I just haven’t been to enough “real racin.” But I’ve NEVER been to a facility that ALLOWS you to bring your OWN ALCHOLIC BEVERAGES!!!

And while I’ll agree with the fact that the entire race attending public shouldn’t be penalized for these Drunken “Buffoon’s” behavior, there’s absolutely NO room for such a display of STUPIDITY!!!

(Perhaps we’re too civilized in the Pacific Northwest? Since I got really carried away at last year’s Portland Champ Car race and Booed the Hamburglar during the driver parade! But ALL OF THE VENDOR beverages at the track come either in “Plastic or Paper”)

Yet this led me to “Wunder” if the caller’s logic added up or not? As I’ll agree that Champ Car has had an identity crisis since the current owners bought the sinking ship. Each season has seen a massive influx of new drivers as teams are forced to scramble for drivers who can provide a suitcase or two of dinero to go along with their seat fitting.

As Robin Miller notes, there’s NO Stability in Champ Car, making Fan loyalty an effort of perseverance. And it seems quite obvious that “The Split” has been hugely detrimental to the stock of Open Wheel racing. While I certainly hope that Champ Car will survive, I just don’t see how either side can fully recover without merging race series…

And I have nothing against temporary street circuits, as long as they’re done correctly and have some entertaining scenery to go along with them. As one of my favourite events was the Vancouver, BC Molson Indy race. Yet the city felt the need to displace this great event in favour of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

But I’m NOT in favour of Champ Car going 100% towards “Concrete Canyon” (Street circuits) vs. permanent road courses, as Champ Car sees this as a quick fix towards solving attendance problems. Although I realize that a profit does need to be made, but if you “Build a great product, then Fans should come…”

And as David Phillips has recently “penned,” there’s much to be said for low key, medium attendance permanent road course facilities, as these tend to be sought out by the true enthusiasts! Of course part of the appeal of CART was its diversity of race venues.

So, while the Open Wheel community fights to find its true identity, perhaps RASSCAR’s rowdy Tag-Team behavior will actually wound the 800lb Gorilla? Then again isn’t Nextel Cup supposed to be a “Squeaky Clean” Family Affair. Perhaps, just perhaps some of the “Shine” will rub off of RASSCAR and Open Wheel racing will make a slight resurgence…

French train sets record

WOW!

This is amazing… As our beleaguered and falling apart rail system can only dream of such a thing. While we’re lucky enough to have the Talbot high speed trains running “Express” service from Seattle to Portland and Seattle to Vancouver, BC. These train trips aren’t exactly “Express! Well OK, they’re express compared to the traditional NEVER on-time “Normal” Amtrak service…

While our Talbot is allowed to hit top speeds of 79mph, the French TVG has just set a new speed record for trains. The specially prepared TVG hit a top velocity of 357mph (574kph) You can watch the video of this amazing run in the article: French Train sets new World Speed record

Yet, while the French are busy setting speed records, their Motorsport governing body is busy dismantling the “Ugly Duckling” French GP with plans to cancel the 2008 French Grand Prix at Magny Cours…

New Aston Martin owners on the Prowl?

Interestingly the majority shareholder of recently purchased Aston Martin from the Ford Motor Co, known as the consortium Dar is rumoured to be potentially eyeing other British business interests to snap up.

Apparently David Richards is merely the “front-man” for the new look Aston Martin company, since Dar owns a 50% controlling interest in the venture…

More Walkinshaw Magic

The former scourge of Formula 1, Tom Walkinshaw is once again at the center of another racing controversy. You may recall Walkinshaw’s bungled handlings of the now defunct Arrows F1 team.

Now comes word that Walkinshaw has apparently broken the rules in Australian V8 Supercars by supposedly owning two teams…

And although the Holden team has since been allowed to compete for the time being, there has been considerable grumbling due to the lack of support races this weekend in Melbourne. This included the lack of a V8 Supercar race for the first time in several years…

Danielle Steele’s trackside Romances

The timing of this announcement seems almost ideal as Anna Nicole Smith’s “tawdry” death still dominates headlines. RASSCAR is set to launch a series of seedy Romance novels set around the backdrop of its racing events.

MAC Montoya will fill the role of Latin Lover, while Jeffery “Pretty Boy” Gordon, Dale “Ironhead” Jr. and “Smoke” will drive all of the girls crazy as they fight over these hunks.

And of course there will be the mandatory “Cat Fights” along with countless scandals of trashy affairs between the bedsheets... (And to think I believed that RASSCAR was a Family Values orientated affair.)

Look for all of this to lead to a remake of Days ‘O Blunder on the silver screen, giving Tom Cruise a much needed box office hit… While Cole Trickle’s two new leading ladies Brittney “Shanade O'Connor” Spears and Paris Hilton has a massive “Bitch Slap” over who get’s to be Trickle’s lover…

OOPS! Sorry, but I just had to get that off my chest…

ROC’in Paris

DTM Champion Mattias Ekstrom won this past weekends Race of Champions (ROC) in front of 60,000 parisians. The fans left the Staid de Paris dejected as Ekstrom defeated Frenchman Sebastian Loeb (2-0) in the finals for the Individual Trophy while Heikki Kovalainen helped Finland win the Nations cup…

Meanwhile in another pathetic display of America’s “foreign policy,” Travis Pastrana. endured running as the sole representative for Team USA. After Jimmy Johnson fell off a golf cart, the reigning IRL Champion Sam Hornish Jr. declined to fill in for Johnson. Then Scott Speed wrecked during the final day of testing in Jerez (Friday) and complaining of a sore wrist scratched himself from the event. “RASSCAR” regulars Curt Busch and Robby Gordon also declined last minute requests to partner Pastrana…

Amazingly Pastrana made it all the way to the Nations Cup Finals by knocking off Germany (Bernd Schneider) and Scotland (David Coulthard, Colin McCrae) before loosing to Finland. (2-1)

In the finals Pastrana lost to Kovalainen in round 1, but defeated Marcus Gronholm in round 2 before faltering to Kovalainen in round 3, the winner take all “rubber” match…

Interestingly Sweden’s Ekstrom defeated reigning WRC Champion Loeb in the very Citroen Xsara WRC that Loeb has used to capture 3 successive WRC Titles in round 1…

After 3 years in Paris, the ROC will move to its new home next year: Britain, in Wembley Stadium…