Take Off Eh!

So your Humble Scribe is off to the Great white North, Eh? To go visit the Greg Moore Gallery at BC Place’s BC Sports Hall of Fame and perhaps even a quick jaunt over to Maple Ridge? But never fear… I’ll return early next week “Just-in-Time” for Turkey Lurkey Day! And if you can’t stand it, then perhaps you’ll wanna check out some of the sites of those very clever ‘N astute Vurd Botcherer’s from the list below, which you can find links to several of on the Right Hand sidebar of this page under Racing Links…

And then drop back into my site next week – Please! Shameless Plug, eh?

Greg Moore – 10yrs after

More “As the USF1 Vurld Turns”

The serious Hi-jinx ‘N Superb Sarcasm, Err Humour of Decklen’s excellent talking movies continues…

Day 5 at the USF1 HQ

Day 6 at the USF1 HQ

You can find Parts 1-3 by clicking here and then scrolling to bottom of post…

Ecclestone Sisters making waves

So apparently the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree… As Uncle Bernaughty’s daughters Tamara and Petra have apparently been making noise in the British tabloids… (Again)

As eldest daughter Tamara, age 25 has apparently spouted off about Jenson Button not deserving to be World Champion, claiming Lewis Hamilton is a better driver and nicer Bloke to boot. As apparently Tamara’s funk comes over ‘JENSE answering his mobile in the middle of an interview with Tamara, who possibly told the Brit; DON’T you know who’s my Daddy?

Tamara: Jenson doesn’t deserve to be World Champ

Meanwhile PETA, Err Petra, age 21 was busy losing a Libel case in Britain, as the Fashion Designer apparently took a swipe at some Celebrities, regarding her quip about using real leather in her designs… Hmm? Where’s the Beef?

IndyCar Trivia Question

So this past Saturday I asked Y’all an entertaining trivia question in Winning their Way, to which so far NOBODY has attempted answering besides Danny B and Mr. Carpets…

Although there seems to be a little confusion upon the exact wording of the Trivia Question, which was originally supposed to be: How many Indy Car Drivers have won the Indy 500 as (first) a Driver and (then) a Car Owner (Separately) in the modern era.

So does anybody besides Danny B and Mr. Carpets (who both know the Answer) Have an Answer?

As we originally came up with a total of four “Modern Day” Post 1960’s names, yet I’ve now come up with a total of eight, as the Trivia Question now reads as: How many drivers have won the Indy 500 both as a Driver and Team Owner…

so how many did you come up with, eh? As Y’all can leave your answers in the comments section...

Winning their way

So recently Danny B asked me a trivia question: How many Indy Car Drivers have won the Indy 500 as a Driver and a Car Owner?

Quick; time’s up! Put them pencils down…

What’s your answer? As we came up with a total of four “Modern Day” names; so how many did you come up with, eh?

National Hug-A-Blogger Day

Jeff of My Name is IRL has boldly proclaimed October 13th to be National Hug-A-Blogger Day… So have Yuhs dones soe yet, eh?

Audience Participation Requested

Back to the Wet Stuff

Your Humble Scribe has returned from a very entertaining outing on the other side of Washington… Where it was most hot ‘N dry, as opposed to the Western side which has officially begun its Fall dreariness… As we were greeted to dark skies, rush-hour traffic and medium precipitation, which is forecasted thru the remainder of the week, not to mention being quite a bit cooler…

Of course I’ve not heard or read one iota of Der Motern Racen Vurld & will now attempt to watch last weekend’s Singapore GP which hopefully has been caught upon le ‘Ol Memorex…

Cumulonimbus spotting

Yeah I know Y’all are still basking over rubino’s splendid victory at Monza - but alas, I’m running behind as always… So I’m not sure if it’s a good thing… As I found it a bit hilarious how your Humble Scribe apparently has a severe case ‘O Formula Uno-Itus.

Seeing how recently when my cranium should have been totally devoid of any racing thoughts as I stood triumphantly on a stream’s crossing little wooden bridge at Paradise a few weeks ago whilst looking skywards towards Mount Rainier resplendent in brilliant blue cloudless skies in 86 degrees F, a funny thought appeared to Mwah later that afternoon as a few wispy white clouds floated past above and I momentarily noticed the minute temperature drop… (Which was totally welcomed!)

Ah-Ha, I exclaimed silently to myself as I moseyed about the nearby trails. Flashing back to the comments I’d just recently read in Professor (Steve) Matchett’s; the Mechanic’s Tale, where he describes the Benetton team’s Cloud spotter extraordinaire… A one Messer Rory Byrne whom would apparently troll the pit lane with arms outstretched, seeking the tiniest hint of fast approaching cloud cover before he’d release Michael Schumacher onto the race track for another of his Bonsai qualifying blinders… As Rory thought that the miniscule one to two degrees temperature drop would give the TERMINATOR that Unfair Advantage in his quest for Pole position…

So I stood marveling at Mount Rainier chuckling to myself as once again I’d managed to twist my surroundings into something involving Motorsports. Oh whale, what’s a race fan ‘N Blogosphere Hack’ to do, Besides scribble about it, eh?

Now hopefully I’ll set the BLOODY VCR’s timer correct so I can hopefully watch the Singapore GP upon my return, eh?

Turnin’ the Big N-Oh!

Auntie Harriet & Tomaso at the 2006 USGP

So today marks a very special day for ‘Juan ‘O my Scribblin’ devotees, as we’ve shared an awful lotta laughs ‘N misery over the years… As she always asks me; How’s the “BLOB” doing?

Who may this be? Whale its none other then the ‘Juan ‘N Only “Auntie Harriet…” Whose turning a most impressive Ninety years old today!

Last week I was talking to Harriet on the telephone and she said;
Don't you forget! I'm going to be 90 on September 23rd...
Oh? You're what?
ITS MY BIRTHDAY ON SEPT. 23!!! A raised voice said on the other end...
Oh? How old are you gonna be?
To which Harriet retorted... I'm gonna be N-0!
To which I laughed? You're gonna be NO?
Whale at least I know you were listening to me...

So Any-Hoo; HAPPY NINETIETH B-DAY AuntieHarriet…

AYE KARUMBA!

No Fenders turns three

Happy Birthday to me… As another year has slipped by and the No Fenders “BLOB” (Aunty Harriet’s word ‘O endearment…) turns three years old today…

And Y’all know the drill, as No Fenders has come a long way Baby since first scribbling ‘bout Klien rejects Red Bull offer.

As its been a somewhat strange Sophomore season, of which I’m not sure if I had the dreaded Sophomore jinx or not? (Having contracted a Confuzer virus whilst furiously scribblin’ away… And mashin’ meez nusels on ze keebored, eh? Hey! Us Vurd Botcherer’s gotz toose stik together…) Although the definitive highlights this past year have been my journeys to my very first Indy 500 and British GP!
And thanks to Blogmeister Miguel, without – there would be NO site. Artiste Dave for the great No Fenders logo; CARPETS, Danny, Mary Ellen, Mary Jane and Tricia for their contributions… And most of all my dedicated readers and Y’all for visiting my site…

Time to go cut the cake, eh?

No Fenders Mo-Jo

Whale, I was actually looking forward to watching my very first “Fuetball” (Soccer) Match on the Tellie this Wednesday afternoon *4:30PM Pacific) when our beloved Seattle sounders FC take on the Washington DC United in the Nation’s Capitol for the US Open Cup finals, after having the great privilege of attending my very first Sounders FC home match this past weekend at QWest field, where unfortunately the sounders once again came up short in a 0-0 draw against Toronto FC.

The event was most enjoyable and I sincerely hope that the Sounders FC will be triumphant in their quest to dethrone DC United in what has become a bit of a “War ‘O Words” between the teams two General Managers… Or is it simply a shrewd way of drumming up interest for the match?

Yet unfortunately your Humble Scribe will be out ‘N aboot in the bushes for the next few dazes in search of those ever elusive critters affectionately known as Snipes…

So kick ARSE Sounders FC!

Birthday’s ‘N Stuff

Today, August 14th, The Indianapolis Motor Speedway officially celebrates its 100th anniversary. On this date in 1909, a series of motorcycle races were held on the newly completed 2.5 mile Oval.

But Triple-A (AAA) sanctioned Automobile racing had already made its stop at Portland, nearly two years BEFORE the very first Indy 500. (Not to mention the five people who’d lose their lives during Indy’s very first weekend of Automobile racing…)



Cash for Clunkers?
Apparently current F1 Points leader ‘JENSE (Button) is trying to cash in on that ‘lil car dealo where you can swap your Supercar for something a tad bit more practicle, eh? Click here.

Brack’s Bling
So what do retired Indy 500 Champions do in their after lives? Take one Kenny Brack, who you may have heard of? Whale Brack got an offer he couldn’t refuse and decided to participate in this year’s Rally X-Games, with some Formula Duh Dude named Tanner (Foust( as his teammate… And you may know that Kenny beat all comers including Tanner and somebody named Travis Pestrona, and recently was a guest on Speed Freaks… To listen, click here.

Broken record

So apparently inquiring minds wanna know? Did we break the ALL time temperature record or what?

As you may be aware of, we're having our own little NASTY HEAT WAVE up here right now... (Minus AC) Which means it’s BLOODY HOT up here as I'm glad I don't have a talking thermometer to register what the temp is inside my Domicile, eh?

And as Meesh would say… We broke the F%%KING Record!

103 Deg F was new ALL time record set yesterday, with the Eastside hitting an unprecedented 107; aye Karumba! And today it’s only supposed to be 101 before we dip back into the high 80's/Low 90's by the end of this weekend, as some much needed moist ‘N COOL Marine air blows our way and pushes that NASTY, STAGNANT Californian air easterly.

And this concludes your Tomaso weather update, now back to your *somewhat) regular broadcasting... Next up, Cat talk, may be?

The HEAT is ON!

So, the movie title “Sleepless in Seattle” took on a whole new meaning last evening… As we’re not accustomed to temperatures exceeding 80 degrees up here, as the entire Pacific Northwest is in the midst of a HEAT WAVE!

Yeah Jeffey, I know that Arizona is HOTTER then most of the Country, but as I mentioned before, the majority of us, including your Humble Scribe do NOT have Air conditioning… As most meteorologists proclaim that Seattle’s weather is never below ZERO or OVER 100 degrees, and traditionally our summer doesn’t begin until July 12th.

Thus, after an abysmal day of record setting temperatures, with a high of 97, it was still sufficiently stuffy around 1AM, and now we’re expecting to potentially break the ALL time HIGH temperature record of 100 degrees set back on July 20, 1994… Which I seem to recall spending the day sweltering away at Randall’s Barbeque Party, resplendent with a special guest appearance by Andy and The Swans who triumphantly parachuted their way into the shin-dig… Talk ‘bout crashing a party, literally, eh?

And we’re expecting to set another record of six straight days above 90 degrees, due in large part to the stagnant weather conditions in California, so TANK’s a lot Awnie! As now, I’ve gotta go cool off and try to find a piece of the pool not infested with “Chitlen’s” Yuhs here’s? As will we hit 101 today? Somebody pass me a Cold ‘Juan! 'Cause it's too DAMN HOT to be scribbling any more stories...

HEAT WAVE puts High pressure on Weather Forecasters

Brazilian Trifecta?

Perhaps Apex Brasilia will wish to rethink its overabundance of advertising after this past weekends NOT so good fortunes thrust upon three of its “Mega” Sports Stars…

As we’re all aware of, first off Felipe Massa suffered a horrific shunt eerily reminiscent of Ayrton’s, which thankfully it appears he’ll survive. Next up was “TK; Follow your Nose Super Schunaaz’s” very scary incident in Edmonton, Canada… When Tony Kanaan’s car caught on fire during a pit stop, of which ‘Ol Mad Dog TK seemingly has escaped without any serious injuries and has already stated he’ll be racing this Saturday night in Kentucky! Certainly was nice to see the Penske, Panther and TCGR Boyz all quickly come to Tony’s rescue, eh?

And then lastly, Football, Err Soccer Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, who apparently just got a “Mega” multi-millions ($107m) 6yr deal, (which will see the 24yr old Foot baller earning 33 times more then the average Spaniard) to transfer to Real Madrid from Manchester United, broke two bones in his wrist during only his second outing with his new squad on Sunday.

And somebody’s been telling me of how bad things happen in Three’s, so hopefully Brazil’s outta the woods for awhile, eh?

No Fenders returns

Whale sorta, somewhat, may be?

As obviously it’s been a most turbulent thirteen days since I was last able to look at ze internets… As HURRAH! Computer Boffin Hank has finally returned my CPU Unit along with its myriad of Software, reattached all of the various cables and re-established contact with those Oh-So? Important functions, i.e.; internets, email and MS Word…

And although Hank returned my unit with all of my (Whale 85% of my Desktop icons/programs intact), it returned with Paul speaking monotone, which made me wonder; “Where’s Lucy?”

Whale perhaps I should quit speaking this way in deference to the Princess’s (NO! NOT Princess Danicker’s…) Starfire Breeze Cruise liner that arrived in Vancouver BC’s Port with a DEAD Whale impelled upon the ships bow…

Cruise Ship arrives in Vancouver BC with Dead Whale

Thus, I had to re-install “Lucy” my esteemed Screen Reader, who GAWD Knows what She’s been doing on Holiday or whom she’s been cavorting about the World Wide Web thingy the past two weeks, eh?

Yet, alas, having to have my win-DOUGHs Operating System re-installed means that many of my customized screen settings, etc are now ALL thoroughly scrambled, along with having not gotten Hank to re-install my printer’s scanner icon, having a few technical issues inside Outlook Express, including missing text fonts and two thirds of my Address book… Which means it’ll take me a little time to set up everything and re-adjust to the “Confuzer” world… Along with giving Mozilla/Firefox a try out, since Hank claims that almost all of his clients whom get viruses come via micro-SOFT’s win-DOUGH’s internets EXPLODER… Which is apparently where I caught the bug that now has me trying to return to my previous settings… As I’ve just noticed another annoying feature of running Blogger thru Mozilla, as in it doesn’t read text inside the box and apparently doesn’t default to my text’s format… Which could be very DANGEROUS for my readers, eh?

Yet, when after nearly two hours of scribbling this post and fumbling my way around trying to reset my screen settings, when I hit the POST button while utilizing Mozilla, it said the Meeda function something-a-other… And would NOT publish this mesmerizing story… Then when I switched back to the EVIL micro-SOFT IE browser and opened up the post, it was completely scrambled into MONSTER MEGAVISION, Err SUPER sized font/text; all of this going on while we’re in the midst of a HEAT wave as we venture into the unusual territory of a BLISTERING stretch of 94+ (97-100?) Deg F for the next four days… And NO! WE DON’T HAVE ANY STINKIN’ Air Conditioning up here Jeffey! So it’s gonna be a real doozy tryin’ to get back up to speed, eh?

But Hey! I’ll take this problema ANY day over what poor Felipe Massa is enduring at the moment! Which fortunately he seems to be mending nicely…

Tech Trouble

Once again we are unfortunately experiencing technical difficulties and therefore the author of this blog, Mr. Tomaso, is without a confuzer while his is in the shop for repairs.

He will be returning to action in the very near future so check back at your leisure.

Posted by Blogmiester in Arizona.

Munn-Dae the 13th

I LUV the SMELL ‘O BURNT ELECTRONS IN THE MORNING! (DON’T UZE?)

What’s that song about NOT liking Monday’s, eh?

Whale... Le Super Confuzer just keeps getting Stranger ‘N Stranger... As I’m still awaiting a call back from my supposed Super Confuzer Boffin; as we’ve now been playing telephone tag for nearly 2wks... Yet this morning I was alerted by another FRILLIN’ micro-SOFT green ERROR box that My Serious Error had been fixed... As an apparent Driver issue; NO! NOT Tomaso the esteemed “Driver” of this delectable Racing BLOB! But some sorta Driver issue inside the Super Confuzer of which of course I’m totally unaware of how to remedy... So I’m just sittin’ around waitin’ for it to come back around... As good ‘Ol Arlo Gutherie sings in Alice’s Restaurante... Yep, I’m just waitin’ for Hank’s telephone call to come around... And hopefully finally schedule a date to get the kinks worked outta der micro-SOFT Operating System Ja Volt!

Thus, I’ve still not begun watching the 4.5hrs of Memorex tape I recorded over the weekend prior to tomorrow’s re-airing of the German GP... Nor have I bothered yet to read Jeffrey’s Live Blog of the Toronto Indy Car race... Whale Otay! I did take a sneak peak last evening and got all the way past Hulio the Dancin’ Fool CRYING a river ‘O Crocodile Tears over being blocked in Qualifying; WHAHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice try Keanu! And then I got up to Lap 1 where NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Will Power apparently has pulled off course due to a cut tyre; Aye Karumba!

So please be patient while I play Ketsup from all of my gallivanting about along with still awaiting Confuzer service, as I’ll try to wade thru all of my neglected emails shortly...

Oh yeah, just received notice that my power will be out all day Wednesday as our Utility Company will be replacing a bad power pole...

Gratzi,
Tomaso

On the Road again

I tells yuhs, this traveling’ stuff is getting a bit carried away... As I’ve been on the go nonstop the past week plus... Having stayed up nearly a whole day after returning from Jolly ‘Ol London, where to insipient ‘Ol NUTTER’s reside! As in Emperor Bernardo and his whipping boy Sir maXXum...

Then as Y’all know my Soup-er Confuzer (computer) began rearing its ugly head and mysteriously quit working altogether... Before I managed to re-power it up nearly a week later while awaiting my trek to La Conner... Before a blast down to Tacoma and now I’m off to somewhere south of Portland, Oregon for the next few dazes... Y’all recall that Portland’s the place where they used to have some fantastic CART/Champ Car races on Father’s Day weekend... As ironically I think the Portland Hystericals (Historics) are being held this weekend?

Meanwhile the Soup’er Confuzer is still working sporadically, along with having another spell of the Bleu DEATH RAY micro-SOFT ERROR screen, before coming back to life for the moment and a Computer “Boffin” (Technician) will finally arrive sometime on Monday to assess the perilous plight of Tomaso’s Super Confuzer machine...

Anyways, please forgive the sporadicness of my recent posts and not having replied to anyone’s emails as I’ve simply been unable to spend any significant time staring at the bleuish-green hue of le confUZer!

Gotta run, here comes the Ice Cream Man...

Texas Two-step?

While Y’all already know the outcome of the past week’s Motor racing activities, i.e.; a bless-ed Indy Car road race instead of the previous BORING Oval’s... Not to mention what else has been occurring lately, as I’ve received an email about some Cats named Hitler, Hussein and Ecclestone... Of which I’ve still not figured out the inside joke, eh? Dave... As Mary Ellen sez; aren’t you curious to know what that’s all about? As I’m not sure if this is what Dave’s alluding to?

Hitler, Mosley and other stories

As I’ve most definitely missed the interview with Emperor Bernardo and haven’t been keeping abreast of what the latest scandal in the English tabloids are... As I’m not really sure what exactly goin’ on in Ze Vurld der Motorsporten; Ja-Ja?

Thus, I’m off to hopefully watch the Telescreen’s recording of this past weekend’s Speed Report and Wind Tunnel with Ye ‘Ol Windbag extraordinaire himself... As I’m somewhat curious to see if ‘Ol Robin Miller who wasn’t wrong after all about Tony G. getting’ ze BOOT from his head honcho roles at IMS will have something clever to say? Not to mention which Red ‘N White car won Watkins Glen... Although it’d be hilarious if Mr. Chrome Horn pulled a rabbit out of his hat, eh? Some more blather to follow shortly... As it’s a veritable bonanza ‘O Family gatherings at the moment and apparently your Head Scribe Tomaso is in somewhat high demand, as most likely I’ll be off to BLOODY Tacoma tomorrow to make a brief visit at Auntie Harriet’s...

Meanwhile, here’s a little tidbit about that most amazing Texan Toranado from Austin named Lance... As in Lance Armstrong King of le Tour de France, wie-wie!

Armstrong shooting for Yellow?

The Empire Strikes again!

SO NOW I’M TOTALLY CORNFUSED! (SHUSH DANNY!) NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLEREY, KAPISHE!

As Y’all are aware of, hours after posting the story Strange Bedfellahs last Friday... In which I lashed out at Sir maXXum ‘N Emperor Bernardo for their efforts to dismantle the sport currently known as Formula 1... For reasons unknown my confUZer shut down completely with the ominous micro-SOFT bleu “Death Ray” ERROR message screen informing me that a problema had been detected in the win-DOUGHs Operating System and therefore the confUZer has been shut down to safeguard against any further damage to your system... If you (feel you’ve reached this message erroneously!) are receiving this warning for the first time then please contact your System Administrator... Uh, YO Mr. Wizard ‘O Oz... I am the flippin’ System Administrator, Chief Bottle Washer, Head Scribe and Lead Satirist...

Any-hoo, for humour this morning while awaiting my private limousine to La Conner, WA for 4th ‘O July festivities, (where I’ll be on Holiday thru next Monday-Tuesday...) I simply disconnected the phone line and powered up the Beast... Which wallah? WTF?!!!!!!!!!!? Is now working... Albeit there’s still quite a funny start-up procedure occurring every time I log on, so I’m totally bamboozled at the moment to the exact status of my confUZer, which I’ll most likely have checked out next week by a Computer “Boffin,” Err Technician just to make sure I can return to providing more riveting stories ‘O Yore next week, eh? Now Quick!!! Back-up all of my mesmerizing MS Word Files, Ja Volt! As its such an odd feeling to be away from ze confUZer for another week, eh?

Happy Fourth ‘O July Y’all!
Tomaso

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

The computer that Tomaso uses to post his stories has encountered the "Blue Screen of Death".

His technical team is working hard to resolve this issue. Tomaso will return in the very near future with a new super powered "Confuzer" (computer) to continue his Formula One and other racing rants.

Thank you for your patience as we resolve this error.

Posted by:
Blogmiester in AZ.

Strange Bed-fellahs

Right Mates, yes indeedie... Your Humble Scribe, who’s still on BST (British Standard Time) and NOT necessarily at his “BeST” wit is spending the wee hours of the early morning staring away at that most hideous greenish blue hue of le confUZer screen since returning home from a most enjoyable trip abroad. (After a 24hr trek... Whale at least it feels like it!)

And thus, I just couldn’t resist, upon having made sure that “Lucy” was still with me and not a jilted lady after having been surrounded by several British Tarts the past week...

Thus I found it most bemusing that Farah Fawcett (Majors) Michael Jackson and Sir MAXXUM all made the major newswires in the same 24hr spin cycle, having been told the news of both Michael Jackson’s and Farah Fawcett’s deaths on the same day by one of my Airport “Handlers” (Assistants) as she escorted me from O’Hare’s Int’l Airports “Wheelchair Lounge” to my gate for the final leg of my day’s extremely long journey homeward bound from Jolly ‘Ol London... (12Hr flight duration + 4Hr+ layover) Of which I had the extremely good fortune to attend this year’s British Grand Prix where my man ‘ZEBB (Sebastian Vettel) simply “WALKED IT!” (Poor ‘JENSE, NOT!)

Then an extremely quick look around that World Wide Web thingy a few hours ago revealed some truly gratifying news... As the headlines said that (MAD MAX) Mosley was finally standing down... To which all I can say is:

HURRAH! BRILLIANT! ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!

One down, one to go, eh? As now all we need to complete the sweep is for Emperor Bernardo to hand over the purse strings to whoever the New Boss is? (Hopefully NOT Jean Todt) Perhaps his good chum Flavour Flav, eh? (Flavio Briatore) Although scuttlebutt Across the Pond suggested that perhaps Bernie has already given ex-wife Slavica; the woman behind the initials SELC (Slavica Ecclestone) a tidy some of $1.0 Billion British Pounds in their divorce settlement; as you may recall that SELC is the Umbrella Holding Company for the various FIA entities that Bernardo has his mitts on, i.e.; controls...

Ah, isn’t it great to be back to the usual spin cycle of News, Sports ‘N Weather, eh? As those BLOODY Starling babies are madly squawking outside for their morning feeding cycle which begins promptly at OH DARK THIRTY (5:15AM) each ‘N every summer morning... As I might as whale stay up and watch the morning sunrise, eh?

Max Mosley to Stand Down?

Hey Sir MAXXUM! QUIT being a tottering ‘Ol NUTTER and get on with it... Time to go on PERMANENT Gardening Leave...

Louise ‘N Mummy

Lewis Hamilton & his Mum out at St. James painting the town Red? (UK’s Mail)

Perhaps after all it wasn’t so wise to bet on Black this past weekend, eh? As I simply couldn’t resist asking Tricia to cut out the pic from the UK’s RAG The Mail... Which I’m told is absolute Rubbish! As their dedicated staff caught the down on his luck reigning F1 World Champion out late night commiserating with his Mum over another DISMAL outing in the woefully lacking McLaren MP4-24... But look on the bright side “Louise,” at least you didn’t book a Victory Party at Muse for Sunday night, eh?

Postcard from the Med

Recently I received an email transmission from aboard the HMS Pinafore, Err Carnival Cruise liner from Maria Antoinette... A.k.a. Katherine who was sailing about the “Med” in search of Sunshine and Solitude from our dreary Pacific Northwest...

Maria:
Well, I don’t have time to check your No Fenders blog, but I imagine you have a word or two to say about the two tiered system F1 is proposing that’s pissing off Ferrari among others. Sounds like plain old cost cutting perhaps disguised as something else? It’s getting a fair amount of coverage over here. There was a rally of little vin-vins, as William calls them, in the Azores when I was there. Lots of goofy looud little matchbox cars with sponsorship plastered on them. But we didn’t get to dock in Portimao due to rough seas, so I can’t report on cars there. But I’ll look for that hairpin turn in Monte Carlo.

As perhaps all of this has blown over by now with the recent announcement on June 12th of the FIA 2010 Formula 1 Entry list, eh? Ah but just what did those two highly paid athletes at the Scuderia say? And would they really go against the Prancing Horse’s Company lines? Nah!

What Kimi and Felipe think... (Whale Sorta, May be? NOT!)

Meanwhile I’m still awaiting my Rascasse Corner Hairpin Postcard that was accidently sent to Auntie Harriet instead...

Spare Coyne

Stealing a page from one of Jeffrey’s My Name is IRL themes: If a Picture says a Thousand words... Can you figure out what’s wrong with this Dale Coyne Racing Transporter that Danny B. spotted the day after the Big Dance at IMS in my Hotel’s parking lot...?

Hulio’s still the Dance leader

Hulio climbs IMS fence (Dave O’Brien photo)

So I finally watched my tape of this year’s Indy 500 this past Thursday... And GULP! That Flippin’ Hulio still won the DAMN Race... As it seemed a bit funny to hear Act fast now, Hurry-Hurry-Hurry! One Day only for this weekend’s Memorial Day sale...

And its interesting what the live TV feed picks up audibly vs. being there live... As I had to laugh when hearing the only driver to get BOOED during Driver introductions... Was, Yep! Yuhs guessed it... Mr. Chrome Horne, Err ‘Ol PT. (Paul Tracy) As it was really funny hearing the ABC announcers totally go off on a tangent about how bad the Penske’s were doing, or how much of a sleeper to win “RAFA” (Rafael Matos) was for nearly half of the Broadcast... Or the total irony of Pit Reporter Vince Welch telling us how much of a candidate for victory Mario Moraes was just moments prior to the Green flag being waived. (Twice)

And Man ‘O Man! What a wicked hit TK (Tony Kanaan) endured... As I’m still amazed how someone can do an interview standing up so quickly after such a brutal Wall Smack! Or Miera catching fire and then being sent off without even losing a single lap... Although perhaps they’ll wanna have some of Dale Coyne’s Sonny’s BBQ on hand next time? Or perhaps break out the Marshmallows? Umm... Can Y’all say S’Mores!

But seriously Folks... It was noted during a recent interview with Donald Kay that the reason Miera’s head can be seen hitting the steering wheel which apparently appeared in the Indy Star the following day was due to the fact that his seatbelts actually stretched due to the G-Forces and sudden deceleration...

And just how many Caution laps did we have? Seemed like at least 50, which is Yikes. One quarter distance of the race...

Now all I’ve gotta watch is 11hr of Le Mans plus hopefully 5hr of the British GP this weekend if all goes well with the Trusty ‘Ol VCR! Hmm? Did somme ‘Juan say Well? As in I’ll take my Sonny’s Eethonal flavoured Ribs Well Done, Y’all...

Lost in Translation

Recently, of all places... While in Speedway, Indiana and no less then on AM1070 THE FAN’s Krabitz ‘N Eddie Radio Show, it was mentioned how the era of Customer Service has profoundly disappeared forever...

Thus with this in mind, I found it somewhat irksome, that first my Hotel clerks were quick to simply answer “YES” to all of my questions, as I’ve now found this to also be true with my current attempt to get my Old Fashioned “Koda-chrome” developed.

As apparently I’m really outta the loop on this Digital Camera revolution... Since I’ve fallen afoul of the once per week Film development schedule... Having dropped off my roll of 29 exposures on May 28th and being told they’d most likely be back on the following Tuesday/Wednesday... So imagine my surprise when on Wednesday afternoon I was told they’re still not back, but most likely by Thursday. So, I was even more surprised to learn upon Saturday morning they’re still NOT in Sir; you’ll wanna check back in on Tuesday, as you must have missed our delivery schedule of every Tuesday morning... And thus they sat for a week before being sent out... You’ve gotta be kidding, eh?

And thus, my very elaborate Surviving Indy story will be lacking some shots taken by Danny in the Garages whilst awaiting their overly LONG arrival!

And do NOT even get me started upon my recent win-DOUGHS internets EXPLODER V8 Shenanigans...



SHEISA!

Johnson seeking 300

Tonight in the other Washington, known as the Nation’s Capitol... The original “BIG UNIT,” a.k.a. former Seattle Mariner pitcher Randy Johnson will attempt to join the very elite company of MLB 300 Game winners against the Washington Nationals... Ironically the franchise that originally drafted the 6’ 10” left hander when they were the Montreal Expos, when Johnson was still a dimond in the rough and more of a menace to opponents with his uncontrolled pitching style, as it would be years before he became the dominant left hander of today who won a World Series with the Arizona Diamondbacks... And although I think I saw the BIG UNIT in the Kingdome way back when? I seem to remember more hoopla being made over Gaylord Perry who scored his 300th Game victory as a Mariner... thus, if randy is successful tonight, he’ll become only the 24th player to score 300 victories and only the sixth left hander to do so...

Go Get-em Randy!

Mannequin called up for batting duty against Johnson

Johnson’s season with the Tribe

Indy Car Fodder

, Just a few quick tidbits here... As some of you may be pondering Tomas “Rockem Sockem” Scheckter’s decision to drive for Dreyer & Reinbold Racing this weekend instead of continuing with Dale Coyne Racing... When arriving back at my Hotel Danny noticed that two gleaming white DCR Semi-haulers were parked discretely at the rear of the parking lot... So of course we sauntered over and one of the Truck Driver’s informed us that one of the four Dallara/Honda chassis was to be returned to the IRL upon their return to Chicago, as it was actually an HVM Racing steed and hence I suspect this is partially responsible for Scheckter seeking employment elsewhere?

Meanwhile, conveniently lost in all of the George-Gate hi-steria... Was the fact that this year’s Indy 500’s television ratings dropped. (And I don’t think you can blame Versus since it was on some other channel, eh?) And although it was claimed that ratings were up in the local market for the tape delayed re-run, I can tell yuh that even though we had the Telescreen turned on, Dave, Rob and I saw nary a lick of it as we sat outside after a tremendous barbeque dinner prepared by Dave discussing other topics including the current plight of Formula 1 and when in the HELL will Max ‘N Bernie be given their walking papers...

Indy 500 TV Ratings decline

Back from Indy

And I tell Yuhs... It ain’t no fun to be back home again... As I had a most enjoyable time hangin’ out in Speedway, Indiana, getting treated like a V.I.P. at the race track... Can I get that door for you Mr. Tomaso? Of course now comes the hard part, where’ I’ve gotta try scribblin’ furiously to put my massive collection of hopefully somewhat legible notes into words of a somewhat entertaining fashion... Uh, you know Tomaso, there’s these high tech gadget thingy’s called tape recorders... Why yes, Jeffrey, I managed to leave mine at home along with my business cards...

Thus after a leisurely brunch prior to Danny taking me to Indianapolis International Airport, which what a massive improvement the new Airport is over the old one, that my Visually Impaired (Blind) Assist at the Airport informed me It was 50 years old and they’d broken ground for the new Airport in 1975... But first had to move Interstate 70!

Thus we dropped by the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) Administration building to thank the fine folks who’d been so helpful to me during my first ever INDY 500, as although Krabitz of AM1070’s The Fan has taken to calling them the overly Officious “Yellow Jackets,” I found everyone on the Speedway grounds to be overly courteous to Mwah...

And thus as we arrived, Danny noticed a “live” News truck crew on the grounds, which happened to be from WRTV6, the local ABC affiliate. Hmm? What’s going’ on? As on the opposite side of the parking lot was the similar News van from WISH TV 8, to which Danny said; “Something Big is going on here. They don’t send two News crews out for a follow-up story on Race attendance, etc.”

So sarcastically I said; perhaps the league is announcing its new title sponsor? NO! Danny retorted. Thus next I quipped; whale may be the Mayor is presenting Tony George with a key to the city for doing such an outstanding job this year then? Ahh yeah, right?

So we went inside and met our party we’d wished to say Thanks to and Danny asked her what’s going on out there? And she categorically said “I’ve got NOTHING!” (I KNOW NOTHING! I SEE NOTHING! ROUST, ROUST!) So we said our goodbyes and left the building and Danny stopped to ask one of the Cameramen what’s going On? Well we’ve got an UNCONFIRMED report that Tony George has been ousted as the CEO of IMS by the Board in a meeting held Tuesday night... HOLY SHIT BATMAN! Where’d the report come from? It’s from SPEED TV. Oh? Was it written by Robin Miller? Why yes it was but we cannot confirm anything at the moment... We’ve tried contacting (Attorney) Jack Snider but he’s not answering his phone. Nobody’s answering their phone at the moment and we can’t run a story until we’ve confirmed it... So I told the reporter standing by that it was SHOCKING! And I’m probably one of Liddul T’s biggest critic’s... Whale Otay, there’s probably harsher, but I’m NOT exactly a fan of his... So would you like to go on the record and do an interview with us? Uhm, NO Thanks... Yeah I know, I missed my 15 Mine-nutes ‘O Fame... But I’d just had the good fortune of being interviewed on Autosport Radio with Don Kay the night before and really didn’t know what exactly was going on with the whole Tony G. situation, nor have I read Robin Miller’s breaking story which certainly set the town abuzz before I hopped upon that big ‘Ol Jetliner to Seattle as Stevie “Gee-tar” Miller once sang many Moons ago. And thus it was certainly interesting to puruse the Indiana AP Newswire and IndyStar this morning to hear the latest developments...

To read Robin Miller’s breaking story see; Transition coming at IMS

INDIANAPOLIS MOTOR SPEEDWAY STATEMENT

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

At a regular meeting of the board of directors of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Tuesday, May 26, board members asked Tony George, chief executive officer of the IMS companies, to devise a plan for management of Hulman & Company, the Indy Racing League, Clabber Girl and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway that would allow him to focus on the business which requires the greatest attention. This plan is to be presented to the board at a meeting later this year.

Tony George said: “Contrary to published reports, I continue to serve as CEO of IMS. Our board of directors met yesterday, and we did discuss how to best confront challenges and exploit opportunities facing our businesses. This is nothing new and is something that we continually do as a board. But no changes in leadership or responsibility have been made. We don’t normally comment on board deliberations concerning our family business. However, the widespread, inaccurate reports and rumors caused my mother and me to conclude that it was necessary to set the record straight. If changes are made in the management of the company that are newsworthy, we will announce them when they are made.”
(Source: IMS2009)

For more on Tony George’s response to Miller’s report, see; George: I'm still IMS CEO

Now time to check around the Blogosphere Horn, eh?

Getter-done!

Whale this is a bit dated... But at least Gentleman John did finally make the show... Along with Milka, Ernesto, Tomas, The IZOD Dude, Bruno, Err TAG and Nelson P. as we’re all set for another entertaining race between the Red ‘N White Carz, eh?

Revving up for Indy

Off to Indy!
As previously noted, you may want to check out the Twitterz’ Holic’s list of links for this Month ‘O May’s festiva, as the “DAWG” (nee Press Dog) has come up with a most impressive list of various Indy Teams, Drivers, Bloggers, Personalities and the IMS who’ve all jumped aboard the Tweeter Nation Bandwagon...

Festival of Tweeting

As Operation Information Overload, Err Ladies and Gentlemen “Start your Tweets!” Kicks into sixth gear, as the concofiny of Dueling “Tweets” is certain to go ballistic over Memorial Day weekend...

Alas, your humble scribe will be incommunicado for the next week as I try to navigate successfully about Speedway, IN... As I DON’T HAVE NO STINKIN’ GRUNTER ACCOUNT! (Tweet-tweet, TWIT-er...) Nor any of the other High Tech gadgets my fellow Bloggers will be slogging’ around the Speedway... (Laptop, etc.)

Thus Tweeter Nation members frothing at the mouth for the latest developments; you’re recommended to drop-in to: 16th and Georgetown, Is it May yet, My Name is IRL, and Press Dog to see what riveting morsel of caveats they’ve dispensed!

Sarah Fisher on The Daily Show

Quick, before Pressdog sees this and scoops me again... As I’m spendin’ way too Muchoe time inside as its Sunny here... But just saw the Sarah Fisher piece from Indy while they’re waitin’ for the track to dry out and she mentioned that she’ll be appearing on The Daily show with John Stewart this coming Monday night... so set those DVR’s, VCR’s or even stay up late, eh? As Fisher cracked, if I can handle you guys (Versus) while being interviewed by Lyndie-Car Thaxton, then Stewart will be NO problem, replying to Lyndie’s question about John being tough upon his guests.

Oh, and wasn’t Bobby Unser a Hoot? Ah, C’mon Robbie you were drinking at age 10 in response to an Olsonite Eagle whiskey bottle that was put out in the late ‘70’s, to which Mr. Slippery Liquids says he still autographs today, but DON’T drink the whiskey as it was the cheapest stuff available they could find and that stuff will burn your whiskers off Robbie...

LeMay Automobile Museum update

As Y’all know, the Global Economy AIN’T exactly in the best ‘O shape at the moment... As the Global Credit crunch continues to tighten its grip around the world’s financial markets, etc.

Thus, as always, in dire times many “Sundry” items such as entertainment, are slashed from everyone’s budgets, as just look at the new Yankee’s “Bazillion’s” Stadium’s premiere seats being vacant, not to mention the much over-lamented downturn of RASSCAR attendance as well as The Arts being dramatically effected on a daily basis.

And thus, with the demise of the Seattle Post Intelligencer, which has become a former shell of itself in its pathetic Online version, I’ve regrettably switched over to The Seattle Times, albeit I prefer the Post Intelligencer’s reporting, but I digress.

Thus I found it somewhat alarming, although not surprising that the LeMay Automobile Museum is currently struggling for financing of its most excellent Museum to be built in Tacoma, WA as the director of the Museum has noted that Donations have simply dried up...

LeMay Automobile Museum $7m Short

Recall, that “Lonestar JR” has been added to the LeMay’s Board of Directors and this project, not to mention the collection of Automobilia is simply too great to let slip by and thus I’d expect as the Mayor of Tacoma seems confident of, funding will indeed go forward for the project, of which I hole heartily agree with and hope this magnificent project reaches its full potential, as its truly an amazing collection and Pacific Northwest treasure!

LeMay Museum

Bloomers

Whale the word “bloomers” came to mind when cleverly tryin’ to think up a title for this rant... As apparently I’m getting most twisted up over the fact that FRILLIN’ Blogger.com doesn’t wish to do any sort of promoting for any of it’s would be adversaries... As I’ve been trying to load a Seattle Sounders button picture for two days now... Which would have been followed by a tiny Versus logo... You know that Comcast owned station that’ll be broadcasting its second Indy Car race this weekend... And like Jeffrey, who’s at the moment in transit to Long Beach, CA; snicker-snicker... I’ve told two friends to please tune-in and watch the Indy Car festivities this Sunday at 12:30PM Pacific... And also set ‘dem recordin’ devices to Versus on Monday at 1PM Pacific for the Firestone Indy Lights replay.

And I’m guessing that Jeffrey’s somewhere on I-10 at the moment, with his various Tony “Follow your Snoz” Kanaan Oh what a feeling beverages ‘N sundries, while I’ve told him to keep an ear peeled to the radio for Cheech’s advertising plugs for the nearby Casino in East L.A.

Now back to the Shanghai Formula 1 action which I managed to record last evening... And somehow I doubt it but my Chinese beer ‘O flavour this weekend will be a Fosters instead as they finally had some on the Grocery store’s shelves today... Hmm? Wonder what beverage ‘O choice the Ronster is partaking in this weekend, eh? Perhaps a little Johnny Walker Black with Mika Hakkinen...

Dragonslayers?

Whale, although new recruit “Rafa” had his baptism under fire upon reportedly taking out Open Wheel’s Diva Princess Danicker on the streets of St Pete, as the irrepressible Darren “Danger Mouse” Manning playfully asked during his Autosport Radio interview Tuesday night: “Did they ever solve whose fault it was?”

Yet, this little nugget has been bouncing around for Mwah ever since I stumbled upon it in an altogether foreign sport to the majority of us Yanks stateside... As it’s known Across the Pond as Foosball... Not to be confused with our ‘lil ‘Ol Pigskin game called Football and thus it’s referred to as Soccer. As the premiere league in the U.S. is the Major League Soccer (MLS) series which has just announced its two newest Franchise members Vancouver, BC and Portland, Oregon for the 2011 Major League Soccer season which will then boast 18 MLS Franchises.

The naming of Vancouver and Portland, of which Seattle Sounders FC co-owner Drew “The Price is Right” Carey has named the “Triangle of Death,” helps resurrect the long ago triumberant and rival sports triangle of Seattle-Portland-Vancouver BC from the glory days of the Sounders, Timbers and Whitecaps during the long forgotten NASL (North American Soccer League) of the 1970’s, of which the Pacific Northwest has a rich tradition in the passion of Soccer... As I’ve for reasons unknown managed to keep a total of seven buttons from the original Sounders team proudly affixed upon my bulletin board all of these years. (What’s that, eh?) As the Sounders FC team has just begun playing in Quest Field, where our Seahawks are wonderin’ if they’ll manage to regain their past glory next season?

And thus I stumbled upon the announcement that:
“Current (Vancouver) Whitecaps owner Greg Kerfoot, a reclusive Vancouver millionaire, heads a power-packed group that paid US$35 million for the (Vancouver MLS) franchise. Joining Kerfoot on the ownership team is NBA star Steve Nash, San Francisco Giants co-owner Jeff Mallett and Boston Celtics co-owner Steve Luczo.”

With particular interest being paid to the final name above; Hmm? That couldn’t be the same Stephen J. Luczo whom is co-owner of an Indy Racing League team with somebody named Jay Penske, could it? You know the latter is the youngest son of somebody known as The Captain, a.k.a. Roger Penske.

This brash duo made its Indy Car debut at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2007 with a “Satellite” third Penske entry for soon to become Penske Racing driver Ryan Briscoe, whom at the time was part of Penske Racing’s ALMS Porsche RS Spyder team, before running a partial six race season with Tomas “Rockem Sockem” Scheckter in 2008 without any assistance from Penske.

As in the Steve Luczo who:
“Is chairman of Seagate Technology, the world’s largest hard-drive manufacturer, and a man who moves in interesting circles. He’s part of a Silicon Valley group that owns about one-third of the Boston Celtics, and he also owns a large chunk of the National Lacrosse League’s San Jose Stealth.”

“Luczo, who was not at the (Whitecaps) announcement, surfs, snowboards and mountain bikes and is a songwriter and co-founder of a music company that develops San Francisco artists.”

You see, the Seattle Sounders (1974-83) once were at the pinnacle of professional soccer, as I fondly recall my ‘Ol Man having season tickets for the NASL Franchise whose home pitch was Memorial Stadium, part of the beleaguered Seattle Center and Key Arena where some other team named the Supersonics once inhabited... Before some Yokel JACK ASS named Clay Bennett drug ‘em off to Oklahoma! And thus it was in 1977, when the Seattle Sounders played against the dreaded “Yankee’s” of N. American Soccer, a.k.a the New York Cosmos whose star studded line-up included such names as Pele and Franz Beckenbauer... As the Cosmos would ultimately defeat the Sounders 1-0 for the Championship; known as Soccer bowl, of which would be the Sounders zenith before the NASL slowly faded into obscurity, but I digress...

So it must be nice to be able to dabble in whatever professional sports categories one is interested in, eh? As I’d suggest that while although a relative newcomer to the Indy Car Series, Luczo Dragon Racing certainly has the financial resources to run a full time two car team if so desired and two fairly astute and savvy financial experts at its helm.

Hence, I’d look for LCR to go places in the future and perhaps you’ll wanna pull over next time Rafa’s coming up fast to overtake you Danica...

Whitecap’s All-star cast of owners seal the deal

Easter Bunny

May the Easter Bunny bring the IRL another 0.3 (Squared) audience share for the Long Beach weekend... Along with 40 enteries for this year’s 93rd running of the Indy 500 and a ride for Paul Tracy with KV Racing Technology and “Captain K’s” squad!

Mmm! Sprinkles...

Cry me a river

Whale, without going into Too Much Info, (TMI) as I’m still lounging about in my sickbed trying to cough up the remains of my lungs... Having found it most entertaining that upon bumping into the St Pete replay on Versus on Tuesday night? That the soothing sounds ‘O bob Jenkins voice immediately put me to sleep... Although I must confess the same thing happened while watching the Formula 1 Qualifying session via Memorex... And there’s absolutely NOTHIN’ better then spending the entire day in bed while the FRILLIN’ Gardening crew spends the whole day blasting away with multiple leaf blowers, chainsaws and lawn mowers as grass shards hit the windows outside... While junior is busy playing bouncy ball upstairs today, eh? WHAAA!!!

Thus, I really haven’t spent any serious amount ‘O time at le confUZer and the Boob-tube seems to be doing its job as the talking heads manage to promptly put me under... Yet I’ll throw in my two cents over the TV ratings demise of the weekend...

As I had the following conversation with my soon to be 90yrs old Aunty Harriet, who’s enlisted me to be her television guide for upcoming racing events... “When are the Big Boyzs gonna be on?” Having given her the dope on Sunday’s trifecta... And I thank you Sir for telling me the race info... Which is at noon tomorrow? Nope it’s at 11AM... On that channel; which is what number? 12? Whale you're close... Oh what # is it? 33... As ironically there were three races being aired at the same time Sunday: RASSCAR on FOX, Formula 1 on SPEED and Indy Car on Versus all at 11AM Pacific...

And you really DON’T wanna get me started on comca$t... Which I’ve rightfully ripped it a new ARSEHOLE as I’ve been forced to go back into the dark ages due to their bait ‘N switch practices over the DIG-it-TULL switchover which required my getting a shiny new box after they’ve advertised for over 6mos that I’d need to due Nothing for the upcoming changeover... So I can understand how others would be less then willing to pay MORE for Comcast’s KRAPY upgrades as they’ve managed to become the micro-SOFT of television land... Oh-My-Gawd... Do you think my cable service will go out now?

Du-duin’ the comca$t shuffle

Yet, as I sat down at 10AM Saturday morning to watch the F1 Qualifying action I'd taped from the night before... And once again the muted wail of those F1 cars put me fast asleep... Waking up around noon just in time to see that JENSE had snatched his 2nd consecutive pole this season... But I found it so funny to see Nico Rosberg being interviewed on TV, since he had to sit next to Aunty Harriet from Indy to Chicago a few years ago after having raced at the Speedway... As Harriet asked him; who are you kid? You've got kinda a funny accent...

Hey, I know! I’ll go watch people spend too much money on clapped out Muscle Cars from somewhere in Florida on the SPEED Channel, eh?

UPDATE:
Whale, isn’t that special? I just got a call from Susie... Comcast’s automated voice messenger informing me that if I didn’t have a shiny new DIG-it-TULL Box attached to all of my home’s Telescreens by April 14th, then I’d be losing my digital channels numbers 30-74 + others and my bill would be revised to show the lost channels in the future... I tell yuhs? Doesn’t the shiny new box in my living room tell ‘dem what’s goin’ on here’s or WTF? Are they just trying to make me’s goes KRAZY? Ha-Ha-Ha-Haa-Haa-Haa-Haaaaaaa.......

Groundhog Day?

Whale... Due to unforeseen circumstances... Which Y’all are probably thinkin’ (Think Pink?) Man that Dude sure has a lotta excuses... As I’m not sure what’s more amazing... Having waited all winter long and then being unexpectedly occupied on the very first two Open Wheel Racing race weekends or the outcome of the very first two Formula 1 races of the season, eh? And thus after an all day excursion to the Doctor’s office... I missed the very first ever Versus Indy Car TV broadcast and didn’t manage to finish watching my tape of Kuala Lumpur’s Malaysian Grand Prix until 11PM last night as the tape cut out while the National Anthem’s were being played! So, NO race winners interviews...

Having awoken an hour early Saturday... As the live Indy Car Qualifying was slated for 7:45AM Pacific; “Left Coast time,: all I could do was laugh momentarily as a “Hoosieronian” voice cooed over the internets: This is the IMS Radio Network, live Indy Car Qualifying has been delayed slightly due to the Firestone Indy Light Quals running late... Please stand by on the Streams and we’ll begin as soon as possible... As I briefly thought? Oh NO! Jeffrey and Will musta angered ‘Old Mother Cupboard and made it rain?

So anyways, your humble scribe is definitely under the weather... Which is ironic since we’re having the first taste ‘O Summer here in the Pacific Northwest... Albeit still some 20-25 degrees less than Kuala Lumpur... (Hey! Can you say Monsoon?) As we’re definitely in uncharted territory here... ACK! Can the thermometer really be above 60 degrees?

Thus, I’ll be taking it easy for a few days as I await the effects of the Doctor prescribed tranquilizers dissipating and furiously ham-er (it-up?) away at ze keebored... As hopefully my knucel’s don’t gets toe much in DUH way... Now its off to LaLa land and then back to le ‘Ol School tappin machine as I managed to set my Shiny New Boxes commands “Just-in-Time” to record last nights, Err this mornings Speed Report and Wind Tunnel... As it only hurts when I laugh, eh?

Thankem Goodness ‘dat meez ‘lil clock radio doesn’t Pickem-up that Sonny ‘N Cher station...”I’ve got you Babe!”

And I did hear via Dave Despain’s “Last Call?” Last night, that there’ll be an interesting new article today in the Miami Herald over some new Hulio developments which could throw a monkey wrench in his defense?

And I sure wished that Justin Wilson could have given Dale Coyne his much deserved and long overdue inaugural Indy Car victory yesterday instead of one of duh “Big Three” snatching the checkers.... YAWN!

GItter Done!

Blarney!

Whale may the luck ‘O thee Irish be with Y’all today... As apparently its time once again to drink some green adult beverages, eat corn hash stew and dance your merry way to a jig or two...

As hopefully Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti won’t be busy eating’ too many Lucky Charms... Although he claims they’re “Magically Delicious.”

And thus a wee bit ‘O Irish humour for uze lepracon’s frolicking’ about... Did you hear about the benevolent owner Michael O'Leary of ryanair, who wishes to install pay toilets on all of his Aeroplanes... Hmm? Leaves a whole knew term for paying’ a pound to dump a pound, eh? I mean talk ‘bout taking the piss outta flying...

And apparently one mad Pole has taken his revenge upon Ireland for decades of Polish jokes... As did you hear about the Speeding Pole; NOT to be cornfused with “The Krakow Kid,” a.k.a. Robert Kubica... As this would be lawbreaker managed to brilliantly elude the Irish Constables by telling them his name was “Drivers license” in Polish...

The mystery of Ireland’s worst driver

And lastly, has anybody seen Derrick Daily and his Hollyhocks?

Irish F1 Piloto’s

Weekend follies

Whale, why am I constantly reminded of an ‘Ol Bosses mantra to his weekly Friday group hug-athons... What is Friday followed by? (In the Northwest) Tuh-duh... Two days of RAIN! An thus, as its pelting the windows, I thought I’d blather on about the most productive ‘O weekends...

As its now become almost a rallying point ‘O mine, I’m predetermined to not plug in any ‘O my countless Formula 1 VHS tapes and hold out just a little longer for the start of the “live” 2009 racing season, as the F1 season opener is less than a fortnight away.

Thus, I found myself pinin’ around the Telescreen, ensconced with my new 437 buttons comca$t DIG-it-TULL remote... GASP! They’ve even been so bold to emblazon their logo upon it in letters LARGER then the TV channel buttons... And Hmm? I’m wondering’ why it doesn’t have the most helpful “Nub” upon the 5 digit for those of us visually impaired, eh?

Thus while trying’ out this new fangled gadget, how ‘bout a little breakfast ambiance? As I stumbled upon the SPEED airing of Acura Project LMP1, which was all about Acura’s revolutionary new American Le Mans prototype... Which will be re-aired this coming Thursday at 5PM Pacific, preceded at 4PM (PST) by the 2009 ALMS preview show...

And then I had to try ‘N see if I could record something’ on duh VCR and Whoa Nellie! I’ll see if I can shatter my speakers or make the neighbor’s Chihuahua bark excessively with an hour of Mike King trying to lose his vocal chords... As I found it funny how much footage of ‘Lil Al made the cut and I especially enjoyed the part about him saying He F%%KING Got me! As some chap by the name of Jeff Ward beat him at Texas... Not to mention the footage of Alex Barron and Bryan Herta and some dude named “Spike!” (Dan Wheldon) During the Versus Indy Car promo.

Then later that afternoon I had to watch the World Superbikes from Qatar, as these dudes are simply FREAKIN’ amazing... As the announcer prattled off 308, 312, 315 and I’ve even seen a top speed of 322k/ph... Which is 200mph! And that’s on a two wheel Scooter with NO HANS device, roll cage or six point harness... As Ben Spies simply DOMINATED the weekend... Fastest in every practice session; Pole position; Fastest lap and a most unprecedented “Double” (Two heats) victory... Now having snatched the last three wins out of his first four heats... And then I cap the weekend off by watching’ some tape delayed coverage of The Speed Report and Wind Tunnel! Ah, the life of a listless ‘scribe, eh? Now I’d better go ‘N see if I can find something green to wear Tuesday...

Shiny Happy People?

Whale, this story seemed appropriate... Since after all it’s once again Friday the 13th, as I’ve just been sittin’ around drinkin’ a glass ‘O Veeso-berry juice, ‘cause its ggGGG-GURR-REAT!

Actually it seemed most ironic that my appointment to have my shiny new (DIGG-it-TULL) Box installed was slated for today, eh? Oh, we’ll be there between 8AM-Noon, will that work for you Sir?

So, I was scanning the newspapers... Y’all remember what those thingy’s are, eh? And another bemused smirk came to Mwah, when reading about the couple whose used couch came complete with... Drum roll please... Yep, its very own feline... As the woman’s boyfriend noticed a lump in the seat cushion moving as he was watching the Telescreen...

Used couch for $27; cat included.

And now I can happily(NOT!) report that I’ve just had my shiny new Comm-Spazdick Box installed and all systems seemingly are A-OTAY... Although it was pretty comical that the Box I’d been mailed was NOT pre-programmed and after waiting over 20+ minutes, the nice Technician said I’m going to go get another box that I know is already set-up and we DON’T have-duh wait the few hours it’ll take to run thru all of the programs...

Of course Sir, you WON’T be able to record multiple channels on your very ‘Old School VCR... Since all commands are now being routed thru the Box... And you’ll have to leave the Box turned on at all times in order to record your single channel.

Attention all planets of the Solar Federation,
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation,
We have Assumed control!
We have Assumed control!

Thus now I’ll be able to keep up on all of the Hollywood gossip as apparently I’m way outta duh loop when it comes to this shiz...

Examples; Whale do I really want to go dare, do I? But imagine my pains when I thought I had some sorta inside scoop upon these two headlines: “An itty-bitty Kiwi in the making” and “Will rubicon really race?” from is it May yet?

Oh the first “Juan” is probably about this Down Under up ‘N comer racer I keep hearing ‘bout named CW, while isn’t the second “Juan” ‘bout Patrick Dempsey’s latest racing venture?

Uhm, well actually NO! As Chris Wootton (CW) is an Aussie who’s just signed for Eurasia Motorsport for the 2009 Formula BMW Pacific season and is reportedly under the tutelage of Aussie F1 piloto Mark Webber... While Rubicon is actually Hollywood Heartthrob Jason Priestley’s gig; so DAMN! Guess I’ll have-duh start watchin’ Entertainment Tonight on my Comcast channel 497863.4... (Gotta LUV all ‘dem channel choices on my new expando-matic service...) Now let’s see, uze gotta waves itz up in duhs aire and taps itz three times... Oh Never Mind!

But you’ll probably just wanna use your old TV remote to turn the power on and off, since your (EVIL Comm-Spazdick) Box has a teeny weenie itzy bitsy red light that lets you know when the powers on/off! Open the pod bay doors... Open the pod bay doors, Hal; DAMMIT!

Now if you just push the tiny button above the 7, that’ll take you to the On Demand menu for when you’re awake at 2AM and cannot sleep and wanna slog thru the free movies section... No, the next tiny button up, over a little, just to the right... That’s it. And then even more hilarious was the comment that the Technician doesn’t even own a TV! Now could you just please sign here, Sir...

Nice job on the Stork news Will... Now by-gummit! Where’s ‘dat waskly remote, eh?

MEOW?

MEOW? MEOW! MEOW?

I thought I heard a Puddy-tat...

MEOW!

Hello? Hellow? Dave’s NOT here right now! BUTT how do I turn on the SPEED Channel?


MEOW?

It’s Comcastic

Whale, I suppose I just met the Karmic Whip again... After having spouted off about my overpriced cable TV provider this morning... As I decided to go to the store for some refreshments and was quite taken aback as I stepped thru the automatic sliding double glass doors and at the very last second noticed that there was a wooden ladder parked directly in the main aisles walkway... Whoa Nellie, that was close, eh? As apparently my only saving grace was having decided to bring somebody’s grocery cart inside the store...

Having successfully navigated the ladder, I was next blocked by some ‘Ol Codger who was oblivious to my trying to get by; Blah-blah-blah...

And after I noticed the errant grocery employee immediately come along after me and move the ladder. Hmm? A bemusing smirk came to my face as I thought to myself how some Corporate entity is really missing the boat in the IRL right now with EJ” What, Me Worry?” Viso’s decision to switch over to the lucky No. 13... As I’ know I’m not the first to notice this, but I mean C’mon, can’t you just picture the Putnam Rolling Ladder Co., Stanley Tools, Ace, True Value or even Genie Garage Doors jumping upon this marketing bonanza... Or even better yet, how about the Eveready 9V as a primary sponsor... I tell yuh, the possibilities are endless here, eh? Oh and how ironic; another mindless Comcast commercial is blarin’ in the background... Only our low-low-low introductory price ‘O $19.99 for the first six months, and what’s ‘dat? Dare’s RASSCAR the whole day today on duh SPEED channel...

Bobsledder makes good

Perhaps you’re wunderin’ why I’m scribblin’ about bobsledding... Whale, after all it is winter, eh? And this piece, albeit from Jeffy’s favourite fish wrap; the USA Today was of keen interest to me, since I’m a visually impaired hack. (NO, nuttin’ to due with my Vurd Botherin’ skeels which have been finley honed over duh years...)

You see... (Pun intended!) I was unaware of the fact that TEAM USA’s best bobsledding hope for medal contention is also visually impaired, as Steven Holcomb, who at 28yrs old has recently had experimental eye surgery in order to save his diminishing eyesight, as he suffers from keratoconus, and his 20/500 vision could no longer be corrected with contacts, while apparently he cannot use prescription glasses while driving... As I’m guessing this has something to do with fogging?

For USA, bobsledding world title in sight

Having voiced his concerns to Brian Shimer; Team USA’s Bobsledding Director, Shimer had no idea just how bad Holcomb’s vision was.

Brian Shimer:
“I think he's gotten to where he is because he doesn't rely on eyesight as much as feel of where he needs to be,"

"Things happen so fast that vision isn't really clear a lot of times anyway. … People would come down, and they'd be complaining about the fog or the snow. You'd ask Steve, and he'd go, 'I don't know what they're talking about. It was fine for me.' "

After consulting with Dr. Scott Stoll, a former bobsledder turned doctor, Shimer subsequently told Holcomb about a new surgery where contacts are implanted behind the irises. Although the surgery could potentially lead to future blindness, Holcomb was willing to take the risk...

I especially enjoy the part about now having to use a scuffed ‘N dirty face shield to limit his new crystal clear (HD) vision as he’s seeing competitor’s sled tracks on course for the very first time!

Holcomb takes Bronze in New York “World’s”

Rotterdam time?

“As I was walking down the street one day;

A man came up to me and asked me what the time;was that was on my watch, yeah;

And I said;

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Does anybody really care...”

(Does anybody know what time it is? Lyrics by Chicago)

Don’t know if you’ve heard ‘bout Bad Bobby D’s “Really-Really-Really Big” announcement yesterday... Uhm? Or is that perhaps today? As our expert resident IRL super-sleuth Jeff of My Name is IRL has a very funny piece about Robert Doornbos’s impending seat fitting at the once almighty Newman Haas Lanigan Racing team...

As Bad Bobby d’s (translate this page) claims that we’ll all know of his plans yesterday and it’ll be worth the wait... Yet apparently Jeff didn’t get the memo, as he really meant Thursday in Rotterdam. Let’s see, when the big hand is on the twelve...

Yet, I believe... That Bad Bobby D will gladly pay you a Big Mac today for a story on Thursday - Eh, Jeffy?

And contrary to popular belief that “Milk ‘N Doughnuts” (You shoulda trademarked ‘dat Danny! As I heard Robin Miller usin’ it Sunday night on wind Tunnel...) is apparently awaiting the outcome of some Caracas election results verification... Err, perhaps awaiting for N/H/L's woefully out-of-date website to be revised? I mean C‘Mon, they’re probably using the same crappy win-DOUGH’s software as the rest of us?

Actually, I believe perhaps there simply waiting for the ink to dry on the teams new Double Zero (#00) hand towels... since Milka-duh-licious will potentially go thru a large Qty. of 'dem this upcoming season... (Sheez, at least it ain’t duh Princess we’re talkin’ bout now, eh?)

UPDATE:
“Bad Bobby D.” and N/H/L Racing have just confirmed (FINALY!) Doornbos’s addition to the team for the upcoming 2009 Indy Car season and Robert will make his Oval debut during the upcoming Homestead test session. Now all we need is for Milka to be announced, eh?

Donohue Trivia Answer

Previously I asked all of you vastly astute No Fenders readers the following trivia question:
Do you know what David Donohue’s connection to the Pacific Northwest is?

Whale du Yuh’s?(Do uze feels lucky?)

So did you figure out David Donohue’s connection to the Pacific Northwest?

BBUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! Times up, put ‘dem pencils down...
Whale, listening to the Speed Freaks program Sunday night, (Jan. 25) I learned another piece of useful(?) trivia... As both David Donohue and Crash Gladys have something in common...

They both worked for PacWest Racing... Where David drove a Dodge Stratus in the extremely short lived North American Touring Cars series in the late-1990’s alongside ex-CART driver Dominic Dobson. As I can still vividly see the red, white & blue(?) paint scheme with massively huge Dodge script letters covering the entire bodywork... And remember watching the 12 car grid take the green flag at Portland (1996) with at least one of the two Pacwest Dodge Stratuses on the front row, as the import engine buzz-saw’s merrily revved away in anticipation of the standing start, before rocketing into the Festival Curve... Yet, this racing series never seemed to have any true support behind it and only lasted from 1996-97, before falling into oblivion, with a meager nine entries contesting the final season.

Pacwest Racing was the factory backed Dodge racing team, with Donohue winning the final season’s title, while the other high profile squad was Tasman Motorsports, which campaigned Honda Acura’s and won the title in 1996 with driver Randy Pobst. You may recall that Tasman was created & owned by former Truesports team boss Steve Horne and briefly flourished in CART from 1995-98.

During this period, Tasman was one of the first Champ Car teams to successfully campaign a Honda engine with Adrian Fernandez and Andre Ribero scoring four career victories during its short lived incarnation. Ribero who subsequently drove for Penske Racing is now “Bia’s” (Ana Beatriz) manager.

After the demise of the North American Touring Car Series, Donohue took a brief foray into the Craftsman Truck Series before ultimately aligning himself with the Brumos Porsche organization, having contested every single race of the Grand Am’s Daytona Prototype series, as he and his teammate Darren Law are the only two drivers to have contested the 80 events to date, while I’m not aware of what Crash’s role was at the now defunct PacWest Racing organization.

As for David Donohue’s thought’s upon winning on the 40th Anniversary of his father’s Daytona 24 victory, I enjoyed his view of it being neat, but he was more impressed by the countless hours the guys at the shop had spent to put him in the position to finally win the epic event, as he was just a wee lad of 2yrs old when Mark Donohue claimed victory for Roger Penske and sadly was only 8yrs old when his father perished in 1975...

GO CARDS!

Yeah, I know it’s NOT racing related... But then again, several Indy Car *Starz* live in the Valley of the Sun... Most notably Princess Danicker, whom according to Danny B; her racy Go Daddy Super bowl adverts have already been leaked to the public via le internets.

Also having family ‘N friends there I’d like to see the Arizona Cardinals WIN this year’s Super bowl on account of two reasons...

1. No Fenders logo Artiste Dave (Who’s been a life long Arizona Cardinals fan, even when there were only 19,000 fans during the hot days of summer at Sun Devil Stadium...) was kicked off of his school bus several moons ago for telling his fellow riders that Pittsburg*H* SUCKS!

(OOPS”! Was just informed that ‘duh *H* in Pittsburgh is silent just like duh H in Herbs... So it’s a good thin I’m a mimmber of duh Wurd Botcherer’s Club, eh?)

2. the Steelers defeated our beloved Seahawks in a very questionably officiated Superbowl, which we still contest that the Hawks won; thus PittsburgH still SUCKS!

And having just learned of fellow blogger My Name is IRL’s affliction for the USA Today, here’s a few related stories with potentially more then 200 words apiece...

A son shines while father glows, works

Grim reality, NFL's fantasy worlds apart

Student-of-the-game Card is acing all tests

Willy T. speaks out

(Willy & Jay Leno at Long Beach celebrity race; Source: Willy t. Ribbs.com)

This past Sunday night on the Speed Freaks, they hosted an all Black theme in deference to today’s inauguration of Barack Obama... Featuring drivers Willy T. Ribbs, Bill Lester and Antron Brown, along with musician John Butcher, with Willy T being first up and was a great interview, continuously calling out RASSCAR for its lack of diversity, as well as making a brilliant comment regarding his comparison between motor racing and skeet shooting; “Well, nobody can pull a plug wire when you’re skeet shooting.” This was followed up later by a great one-liner remark about Bernie Ecclestone, thus I strongly suggest you check it out...

Willy T. Ribbs interview

Desert Oasis

(Superformance GT-40 Armada at 2009 Barrett-Jackson auction)

So in case you haven’t figured out my latest scribblin’s theme... I’ve been enjoying the above average climate of Arizona... Having trekked to the Valley of the Sun; My Gawd! What’s that bright yellow stuff was all I could vacillate as the Airbus A320 banked right on final approach as everybody on the left side of the Aeroplane quickly yanked their window shades down... Hey! Leave them up; I wanna see that bright stuff, you know? I believe that it’s most commonly known as the Sun! Something that is most fleeting up here in the Pacific Northwest... As we’re currently ensconced in dense fog with a low temp. of 32 deg. f, after having spent the past week in low 70’s; But I digress...

Thus my excuse for traveling to Arizona was to partake in the 38th Annual Barrett-Jackson auction, of which I’d never been too... And it was pretty damn cool! With an overly staggering display of automobiles awaiting their fate upon the auctioneering gang plank, as it seems pretty funny to see so many pristine vehicles sitting parked in either the dirt or grass of the mammoth grounds of Westworld...

With the only strike AGAINST the event being the ABSURDITY of the two F%%KING Rent-a-cops judiciously positioned in front of two large garbage cans and stopping everyone leaving the event and telling us it was VERBOTTEN to take our OVERPRICED water off of the premises that we’d all paid for from the show’s “Approved” vendors... Thus we were detained until throwing away our aqua which seems overly STUPID in such an arid state, eh?

And although perhaps some of you are growing a bit tired of my look upon the world of fendered vehicles; alas, I’ll provide a quick show report shortly... While also trying to play Ketsup upon the world of motor racing, as I see that The Captain has obtained the services of Will Power, while Ferrari and Toyota have launched their twenty-oh-nine challengers and Dakar Rally leader Carlos Sainz has thrown away his lead upon rolling over into a ravine, not to mention having missed the past weeks Open Wheel Word Butcherer’s question of the week...

Happy New Year

Whale Race Fans, I’m still celebrating the Holidaze somewhat... As the SNOW is finally almost all gone, with a rather bizarre thing happening late Monday night, something that’s never occurred before... As some sorta Snowplow thingy could be heard driving back ‘N forth thru the parking lot with that overly annoying claxon bell back-up beeping noise at 11PM! As there’s now piles ‘O four foot brown & white snow sitting piled on every conceivable space between parking stalls and walkways, awaiting the rain to dissipate it! And it’s even funnier trying to make out the incognito battleship grey snow banks when walking upon the still slick as snot sidewalks on which the snow banks are strategically piled in front of... But I digress...

I’ll be returning to full (scribblin’) broadcasting mode next week... As it’s almost time to feel the heat of another racing season just around the corner; which hopefully we’ll not see too many further demises ‘O Racing Teams, Star Drivers and Motorsports employees.

And thus, its time to ring in another new racing season... So, without any furter vurd botcherin,’ as the chief bottle washer & head scribe of No Fenders... May Y’all have a Happy New Year, as now its time for me to don my party hat, eh?.

Feliz Año Nuevo!
Happy New Years Y’all!
Tomaso

Merry Christmas

To all of the faithful readers of No Fenders, I hope Santa has brought Y’all everything desired... As Santa decided to bring us a white Christmas for the first time in several years, before we’ll go back to our traditional and much desired (?) dousing of the wet stuff better known as precipitation, while I’ve enjoyed furiously scribblin’ about the various guises ‘O motorsports this year... But, as the chief bottle washer & head scribe of No Fenders I’ve decided a break is needed and therefore will take the rest of the year off in order to go play in the not-so fast disappearing SNOW!

So once again, Merry Christmas everyone!
tomaso

PS:
Don’t forget to check out the Vodafone Survey, which could possibly net you a cool 200 smackeroos and ends on December 31st.

Vodafone Survey

Snow caper

While having just made a somewhat Artic trek to the local grocery store, as we’re waitin’ out the winter storm, expected to arrive anytime now... This story just kept a smile on my face...

As I’d chalk it up to another “Stupid Thieves” category as apparently two would be vandals didn’t realize that they were leaving their footprints in the snow, to which I’d guess you should always cover your tracks, eh?

Footprints lead cops to suspects

Adam 12, where are you?

This one is just too good to pass up, as I’m assuming a little levity is needed at the moment... As when’s the last time you’ve heard of a police battlewagon being pilfered? Apparently the Bellingham cop, who was responding to a call, left the vehicle running and when he returned it was gone!

Adam 12, do you read me? Come-in Adam 12, Breaker-breaker...

Police car stolen when officer leaves it running

Snowed-in Seattle

(Source: SeattlePI.com)

So, I’m guessing that many people are catching up on their sleep today? As its been snowing in Seattle; although many Western “Warshingtonian’s” are still Sleepless...

Otay, so it may not be a big deal to you if you’re from someplace where inclement weather is the norm, but we’ve been having a bit of a COLD spell up here in the Pacific Northwest, which means our city comes to a complete standstill!

The week began with light snowfall and actually breaking the cold temperature mark of 44yrs when it was 20 degrees, as the thermometer sank to 19f at 4AM. Then we’ve been waiting for it and it snowed again beginning Wednesday afternoon and continuing thru Thursday morning, with the most unbelievable Thunder ‘N Lightning storm, which meteorologists are calling “Thunder snow.”

The next two days will be clear but COLD (For Us!) with temperatures in the teen’s, expected to break another cold temp. record before you guessed it! Another round ‘O snow on Sunday... But Hallelujah, I’m NOT in Hopkins, MN where it’s actually gonna be above ZERO for part of the day. And that’s all of the weather report for now...

Seattle gets Snowfall

Real Housewives of Orange County

I’ve just received the following from Margot, about a TV show I’ve never heard of, nor watched... But, hey, like she says; if you’re desperately seeking some Indy Car footage, then you may wish to check out the following episode tonight. (Check your local listings for time)
Thanxs, Margot.

I know that this might be a little outside of what you normally write about but since your blog is dedicated to the world of Indy cars I thought you and your readers might enjoy hearing that in tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo the Indy 500 is featured when one of the housewives and her husband head there and get the VIP treatment.

Anyway, we have a short clip featuring the event – it’s quite entertaining and I thought you and your readers might enjoy this clip as something a little different than what you normally write about….

Gretchen (one of the Housewives in the show) goes with her husband Jeff (whose background is in the car industry) to the Indy 500 and gets the VIP treatment as she gets to ride around the track and she has no idea who anyone is.

. (Wait for it... Its after the intrusive advertisement) And its been a long day, as hopefully this is the correct video: Gretchen really does go to Indy

Real Housewives of Orange County airs Tuesdays @10pm on Bravo...(I’ll assume that’s Eastern Time?)

The Life “O Uh “Vurd Butcheruer”

I tell yuh! The universe sure works in a funny way, as once again Karma has intervened, with my choice of story titles being scribbled prior to discovering Kohl’s name of his newest blog endeavor; the United Open-Wheel Word butchers Association. And the name is worth the price of admission alone. So, you may wish to check it out, although the site is in its infancy, so it’ll need time to grow.

United Open-Wheel Word butchers Association

Meanwhile, back at Planet No Fenders, as your humble Vurd Butcheruer tries futilely to rendezvous with another Award wining story. Ground control to Major Tom! Pull up, Pull up; snap out of it Jimbo!

(Sorry 'bout 'dat! I just watched The Right Stuff)

04/10/07
“And I haven’t even begun reading my “prized” and extremely hard to obtain copy of The Life of Senna, (498 pages + Appendixes) by Tom Rubython...”

OK, this is embarrassing, as I’ve scribbled about these two books in the past, when writing my very first, brief book review on the Grand Prix Saboteurs and The Life of Senna, albeit just in passing one and a half+ years ago... As it was to be my forthcoming reading project for winter ’07; but Y’all know how that goes, as another of “Auntie” Harriet’s sayings comes to mind; The best laid intentions of Men and Mice...

Since it’s now winter once again and I’ve engrossed myself in a new reading project, along with presumably becoming a “Preferred Customer” of Motorbooks.com...

And thus, while I’m not keen to promote certain websites, if you’re so inclined to hunt for some of the following books I’ve decided to scribble ‘bout... Try checking out the aforementioned Motorbooks.com site or Speed TV.com/books or even, gasp! Amazon.com, as I’m sure somebody would appreciate one of these as a stocking stuffer, eh? (Although I seem to have a knack of selecting hard to find, out of print titles...)

Yet, alas; poor Mr. Saward, whom seems to be stuck in the queue, along with Mr. Rubython’s most controversial book, both being weigh laid in the garage for awhile longer. Sorry Ayrton!

Oh yeah! If you’re in the market for a 2009 Indy Car calendar, then check out “The Dawg’s” story; IndyCar Calendars Benefit Schmidt Foundation

What’s hot in Quebec

This was a fairly entertaining article about the plight of the current economy Up North, Eh? As guess what’s the hottest item in Quebec? No, it’s not the Looney, nor the Tooney, Euro, or even duh greenback...

Nope, apparently, would-be thieves have been targeting snow tires... Yep, you read that correctly, as the Government has enacted a law making approved traction devices, i.e.; snow tires mandatory in the province this December 15th.

Ho-Ho-Ho! It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

What’s Hot in Quebec? Stolen Snow Tires

Racing tapes find new home

First of all, to those whom responded to the inquiry recently posted upon procuring a new home for a massive racing tape collection; Thanxs...

And thus, it appears that the collection has indeed found a new home, as I’ve been instructed to curtail the Racing tapes offering.

It appears that this collection will now be passed to a current No Fenders reader, as Craig is not only a F1/Indy Car devotee, but also provides us ponderer’s of past displays of the well documented “Red Mist” a chance to review snippets of past races. Hence you may wish to check out his site at http://www.youtube.com/user/racingfan99

Craig also claims that he’s willing to provide copies of races in exchange for copies of other similar races. So, if you’re experiencing a slight hankerin’ for some racing footage, then visit his Youtube page...

Kudo’s Y’all!
Tomaso

Thunder road

Whale! I cannot speak on how good of a show this is, since I don’t have the requisite HBO channel, but Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B seems to find it quite entertaining. After all it’s a show based on local Anderson, Indiana, so you may wish to check it out?

Dirty Driving: Thunder cars of Indiana

Bernie spice

Well, I’m guessing its all over the tabloids and newswires in jolly ‘Ol England, perhaps even garnering front page status upon Rhubarb Murdoc’s The News of the World? That reportedly, Emperor Bernardo’s wife of 24yrs; Slavica Ecclestone is considering filing for divorce. And I liked Dave Despain’s spin on the topic the most; “Does anybody care?”

Yet, the reason for the big deal is the fact that the Ecclestone’s reported worth in the region of $3.5 billion is nesting in offshore bank accounts, or is that Switzerland bank accounts, etc and the majority of their assets are in her name, not to mention the company named after her SLEC, which is the umbrella organization holding the majority of the Formula 1 business organizations under Emperor Bernardo’s control...

Ecclestone’s wife leaves home

Snobyrd

Howdy Y’all... Yeah, I know it sounds like a broken record... Or should that be CD? As your humble scribe has just returned from a most pleasant trek to the “Valley of the Sun,” where not only does “Mister Jeff,” a.k.a. My name is IRL pontificate, but alas, some other heady big name racin’ type’s like Buddy “Hot Rod” Rice and Princess Danicker reside.

And NO! I did NOT go down to partake in the just recently completed RASSCAR yawn-fest at some ‘lil ‘Ol race-em track named PIR; Phoenix Int’l Raceway... Although it was suggested that I may wish to change my site’s handle to “BENT FENDERS” over all of my alleged interest in those stock car Bombers!

Yet, I did indeed ride past some ‘lil ‘Ol joint off of Interstate 10 named Firebird Raceway, where Bob Bondurant’s high performance driving school is based, enroute to check out the magnificent Kartchner Caverns.

And did you know that the Arizona Highway Patrol even pulls over “Ply-Mouth” Voyager mini-vans... As we encountered the long arm of the law in one of the numerous speed zone changes along this stretch of I-10; is it 75, 65 or 55mph now? As the constant changing of speed limits in a non-existent construction zone make for plentiful poachin’ of would-be lawbreakers...

Yet, it’s the very first time ever I’ve seen an “Ossifer” of the law amicly partake in idle chit-chat about our just concluded trip to the caverns and compare notes on Kartchner vs. Colossal Caverns... As he told us he’d most likely be giving us a warning for going 80-83mph in a 65mph zone; OOPS!

And walah, after awhile of checking our Voyager’s chauffer’s rap-sheet, we were indeed lucky and absconded back on our way towards Scottsdale with simply a warning ticket, as the five passengers spent the rest of the trip hollerin’ out every single speed limit change... “It’s 45! It’s 45! We’re in another construction zone.” So, better slow that Ply-Mouth down...

Crashing No Fenders

Once again I’m chagrined to notice the name of the latest personality to leave a comment upon the No Fenders site... As imagine my surprise to see that the commentator’s handle was Crash Gladys...

Could it really be the Speed Freaks Diva? Whale, it certainly appears so, as the comment left is in regards to Scotty “The Goose” Speed’s RIDICULOUS OUTBURST over Indy Car being BORING...

Hmm? Now explain to me why did Speed LOOSE his ride in Formula 1?

And remember; 7 out of 10 Princess Danicker fans who listen to Speed Freaks know the alphabet...

Monster Mash

Spotted this on the Blogosphere
(My Name is IRL & Pressdog)
And it’s quite a hoot, as it’s the latest chapter
In what’s affectionately known as the
PRINCESS DANICKER STOMP!

Yet, the trick’s apparently on me, eh?
As FRIL(WLIN’ Blogger WON’T load the bleepin’ Youtube video...
(Which you may have noticed around 6:30AM PST, eh?)

So, for all uze Goblin’s ‘N Gool’s
You can get your (Danicker fix) treats by clicking on the following link:
Princess Dinicker’s Monster Mash!

And kudo’s to “Scooter’s” assessment of the whole mess...

Where’d they go?

So, this past Tuesday night, my 89yr old "Auntie Harriet" called me, asking if I knew anything 'bout some racing "thingy" on the LIFE channel. Huh? NOPE! I replied, but I'll snoop around... To which I first discovered I think she meant the Lifetime channel?

But to NO avail, I didn't find any current Indy Car shows besides this week's upcoming Surfers Paradise race on "EL STUPIDIO!" Err, El Classico, Err ESPN Classic.

SHEISA!!!

So, next I started huntin' round my usual sources, i.e.; my unofficial "BLOB Network; commonly referred to as “Knucel draggers,” a.k.a. word butchers. (Yeah, I suppose I should let go of Mr. Olsen’s comments, eh?) Or better known as Bloggers, or even better yet; Blob’s! As Harriet likes to call ‘dem, but alas, I found nothin’... As I seem to vaguely recall that there was supposed to be some “Doc-u-drama” on the life of a Indy Car race team sometime this year and perhaps somebody saw this?

But for now, all I’m aware of is that you can only catch the Surfers Paradise race live on El Classico, it you’re one of the four peoples having that channel! Otherwise, like the majority of us WITHOUT ESPN Classic, you’ll have to wait for the tape delayed rebroadcast on The Deuce (ESPN2) Sunday evening. Unless some sorta Women’s Golf or Poker tourney gets in the way! So, I think I’ll listen to the IMS Radio Network broadcast Saturday evening at 10PM EASTERN TIME instead.

And even though it’s a Comca$t channel... Will I be oh-so happy when we’ve finally DUMPED the Disney Shopping Networks and switched over to versus...

Tracy does Paris

And speakin’ of France; nope, no silly you know what London/pants jokes here... I forgot to mention upon penning my trek thru Gay Paree, that Mr. Chrome Horn, a.k.a. Paul Tracy was spotted doing the rounds inside the Louvre...

Oh Gee! I didn’t think that ‘Ol PT was so cultivated, eh? Perhaps he’s suing Mr. Forsythe for a couple of million in order to pay for his trip abroad?

Well actually I must confess; it was I sporting my French Bleu No. 3 Paul Tracy T-shirt. You know how us Americano’s just luv’ dressin’ up, eh?

Q’est Quasae
Ah Revoir, mon cherie...

(Photo source: Champcar.ws)

Future World Champions?

(Photo source: Grandprix.com)

So, who will be the 2008 F1 Drivers World Champion? Will it be the man pictured above? As Lewis Hamilton (McLaren) currently leads title rivalists Felipe Massa (Ferrari) by 5 points and Robert Kubica (BMW Sauber) by 12 points with just the Chinese and Brazilian Grand Prix’s remaining.

Who’s your pick?

Birthday Boy

Now, NO clownin’ around Kimi... I mean NO Monkey suits, Mr. James Hunt esquire... As today marks Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro’s Kimi Raikkonen’s birthday, with the 'Iceman' Being born on 17 October 1979 in Espoo, Finland.

Kimi, who is currently at Shanghai for the Chinese GP, said: "It was nice to see so many fans in the grandstands to celebrate my birthday."

Happy 29th Birthday, Kimi!

Gopher Huntin’

Whale, just returned from a very brief visit to “The Gopher State,” a.k.a. Minn-uh-sota; Yeah, sure, Yuh-betcha! As this stately moniker was derived from its population of the ‘lil striped critter way back when...

Although I didn’t see any of the cute critters, I did learn that the “Mighty Mississippi River originates in the state while doing a very brief search on Open Wheel talent to come from “The Land of 10,000 Lakes,” in which I discovered that Flinstone Indy Lites driver Leilani Munter was originally from Rochester, MN before moving to Mooresville, NC to bask in the glow of the Stock Car capitol...

So, it was a timely coincidence that I spotted “Press Dawg’s” glowing commentary upon the Easy on the Eyes Leilani... Who’s apparently having’ some sorta trouble with her new britches, just prior to leaving for Minneapolis, which was a short, but sweet trip, as once again Jefford shoehorned the Motley Crue of aspiring Motocross riders into the Team Shasta motor home, this time setting off for the wide open fields of Meadow Valley, MN for the weekend.

And Team Shasta, Jefford’s trusty 1984 Ford 460 (24’) RV was pulling an impressive armada of dirt bikes behind it, with six of the nasty beasts wedged precariously upon the little open trailer, as the two young boys Dundee and Jonathan were sent to the rear of the motor home several times to check upon the precious cargo...

Thus, we had two “Thumpers” aboard, as Jefford and Mike had brought their brand new Honda CRF450 four strokes along with Mike’s brother Jeffery bringing his recently acquired Honda CR250 two stroke with us, while Dundee and Jonathan’s matching KTM SX 50’s (two stroke/automatic’s) were present as well as Dundee’s Suzuki 65 (two stroke/manual trans.) was along just-in-case Dundee wanted to ride it also? As this “Scooter” has quite the pedigree, having previously been a Suzuki “Works” bike for rising AMA 250 Pro Star Ryan Dungey...

With the weather having been crisp and clear, but cold the previous two nights, we set off for Meadow Valley Saturday morning and were met that afternoon at the facility by Brian and his support crew Anna and Debbie... And we watched Brian bouncing about the gravel road upon his go-kart, which would shortly meet its demise with a broken clutch mechanism from the excessive road travel, prior to Brian joining the rest of the “Boyzs” upon the big track aboard his Kawasaki KX250. Meanwhile the two young boys had the “Kid’s” track all to their selves and I joined Anna and Debbie in the brilliant sunlight grass covered field with the various shrieks of two and four stroke motorcycles assaulting us from all sides of the wide open expanses...

Later that evening, as night fell upon us and the temperature got decidedly chilly, we congregated around a much needed bonfire as tales ‘O yore were swapped about the days riding activities… Before it was finally time for Smore’s… Which of course Jonathan and Dundee were particularly fond of; while much later, as we all tried to catch our “40 winks,” unfortunately around 3AM the skies began to deluge us with rainfall, which always sounds much worse upon a vehicles metal roof… And thus I still cannot get over Jeffery’s less than obvious pronouncement in the wee hours that “It’s Raining!” Uh duh, dude! We already know and thanks for waking us up!

Thus any hopes of getting a little more riding in Sunday morning were completely scrubbed as the drizzle still persisted and we were unwilling to pay the daily $25 per rider fee to go slog about in the mud, and hence, after a leisurely breakfast and returning of the allotted motor bikes to the trailer, along with packing up, we headed back for the big city of Hopkins.

Thus it was of stark contrast to me to spend Monday hanging’ out in Hopkins in peaceful tranquility listening to the tails of Sherlock Holms, while Jefford was busy at work, before returning home with Dundee, who wanted to surprise me… And then Dune Buggy Bill dropped by to take us out for all you can eat Chinese buffet, before that dreaded precipitation returned early Tuesday morning, just-in-time for my return to Seattle Tuesday evening…

World’s Fastest Mustang?

“Dag-nab it! Can it already be a month since another Labour Day weekend Done blown by?”

As I’d hoped to scribble about this prior to frolicking about the Seattle Center grounds, see: Bumbershoot, which was once home of the Seattle Supersonics for an amazing 41 seasons... Yet, may Clay Bennett & Howard Schulz both LOSE considerable coin over the massive bungling regarding ownership of our be-LUV-ed NBA Franchise, but once again I digress...

As several weeks ago on Wind Tunnel, Dave Despain interviewed Danny Thompson, son of the late Mickey Thompson, who was a true pioneer and icon of Motorsports... And I’m not even gonna try to list all of his accomplishments! Yet, recall that it was Mickey Thompson who entered a tall, lanky Californian rookie racecar driver by the name of Dan Gurney at Indianapolis...

Danny Thompson, with the impetus of a collector owning one of the three 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1’s used for setting nearly 300 land speed records at Bonneville in 1968, wanted to do a special 40th Anniversary retrospective, with Danny simply being lucky enough to get the call for chauffeuring duties of the trick 2008 production based ‘Stang.

Danny claimed on Wind Tunnel that they’d done a “Out the Back Door” pass of 254mph and that the Pony car was running on E85 and that they didn’t even know which class to put him in, since there’s currently no class for Ethanol vehicles, eventually placing him in the Nitro-class. And Danny’s ultimate goal is to recapture the top speed record of “Piston” driven vehicles by going 500mph, as his father had once gone over 400mph in his Challenger 1 slipstreamer, powered by four Oldsmobile V-8’s and constructed in a garage, outlined in chalk on the concrete floor!

Oktoberfest

Ja-Ja! Itzen der timenzs for der Annual Oktoberfest tooze beginith. Ja Volt!

Don’t forget to celebrate Oktoberfes! (Sept 20 – Oct 5) Now where’d my Bitburger go?

Oktoberfest Seattle Style

Two years Old!

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me, I look like a…

Today marks the second Anniversary of the No Fenders “Born-on Date.” (Of which I could NOT have picked a better day of the year, eh?) And it’s been a fairly hectic “Sophomore season” for mwah, as I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts on the Wurld der Motorsports with Y’all!

Yet, it seems like its been a long, long, time since the debut story of Christian Klien rejecting “Deeter Majestic’s” offer to race in Champ Car, eh? Anybody remember ‘dat? Uze know when Champ Car was still clinging to the notion it could outrun ‘lil Napoleon’s Oval Track ONLY circus...

Thus, I would like to thank everybody who encouraged me to try this endeavor. My most excellent Blogmeister Miguel (Who constantly supports me and keeps the site lookin’ sharp!) and Artiste Supremo Dave for the bitchin’ No Fenders logo!

I’d also like to thank my three Bureau Chiefs; Mary Jane, (Arizona) Danny B, (Indiana) and Mary Ellen (Tacoma) for all of their story ideas, contributions and Fact checking. (Danny)

But, most of all, I’d like to thank everybody out there for reading my scribblings over the past two years… Especially all of you who are regular readers as well as those who’ve commented on my stories…

Gratzi, Tomaso

Now would somebody cut the Frillin’ cake!

Bumbershoot

Otay, did Y’all have a fabulous Labour Day weekend?

Taking a much needed break away from le confuzer... I decided to brave the roccus crowds at our annual Labour Day celebration... Affectionately known as Bumbershoot in deference to the weather,) I believe) as most Holiday weekend’s in the Northwest usually involve a smattering of the wet stuff!

But it was nice going to see two, diverse performances, listening to a very interesting group; Darondo & Nino Moschella, while hanging out Saturday, prior to catching the “Satiristas,” who were performing three nights and featured the multi-talented Janeane Garofalo, along with Marc Maron and Rep. Richard (Dick) Martin, with all three comedians making great fun of today’s political scene...

Monday evening, while awaiting the moment to go get in line, we were forced to endure the down trodden hip-hop lyrics ‘O Del, the Funky Homeosapian... Who opened his performance with a long winded rant about “Too much cheese and NOT enough Butter!” (Go figure?) But he tried to jump the gun beginning his performance 10mins early and they suddenly cut the power to his microphone...

Having endured about ALL we could tolerate of Funk master Del, we went to go get into the line for our intended performer, as the motivating factor for these weekend outings into the over packed Seattle Center was to catch the Red Hot local band Death Cab for Cutie, who ROCKED the Memorial Stadium Monday night! And unlike Super Chunk, who was performing before them, Death Cab was simply AWESOME! Even more impressive was the fact that they only had their amps turned to nine instead of eleven and you could actually understand all of the lyrics! As they played five cuts off of their latest album Narrow Stairs, with a sixth song during the impromptu encore before they had to leave as Death Cab closed out the three day marathon of performances...

Miller Time

Hey all uze Robin Miller Fanzs... Guess What? Yup, ‘dats right, The much ballyhooed, respected, curmudgeon of Open Wheel Racing will indeed once again be Dave Despain’s co-host on Wind Tunnel this Sunday evening... So get ready to congregate around your closest Telescreen and watch the soothsayer ‘O Indy Car driver movements @ 9PM ET...

Sauerkraut

Hallo, meine Mitleser


Why yes indeed… I’m showing off half of my German vocabulary… As Shed a TEAR please for mwah… As I know Y’all will be heartbroken to hear that your humble scribe has just spent the past two weeks frolicking about Der Fatherland… Thus being forced to go to Koln (Colone) and Traben-Trarbach, (ironically during Wine Fest weekend…) Germany and ultimately partaking in this year’s German Grand Prix at der Hockenheimring, Ja Volt!

Therefore I’ll be dealing with the dreaded (Sniff, Sniff, Boo Hoo Hoo, eh?) Jet Rag for the next few dazes, so please be patient as I try to readjust to Seattle time and what in the HELL has been going on in Der Vurld de Motorsporten, Ja-Ja? (Not to be cornfused with Yo-Yo or Ro-Ro!)

Kudos to my most excellent Blogmeister Miguel for keeping the site rollin’ while I was out N ‘boot in Der Fatherland…

Gratzi, Miguel!

Let’s get ready to rumble!

So I hear there was some little Cat Fight over the weekend in Lexington, Ohio, eh?

And in this corner we have The Princess, a.k.a. the Roscoe, IL girl vs. Milka “Licious, the Venezuelan Bomber, a.k.a. Milka Duno, whom I’m told was heard tellin’ Princess Danicker;

“You wanna piece of this?”

Radio Show Debut

Just received the following message from Indiana Bureau Chief and Infrequent guest columnist Danny B whose making’ his big Radio Show debut this Sunday… You can check him out on The Fan, Indiana’s AM1070. (9-11AM EASTERN)

You’ll have to tune-in as I have NO idea what he’ll be talkin’ about besides how BIG of a Princess Danicker fan he is… (NOT!)

EVER WANTED TO HOST YOUR OWN SPORTSTALK SHOW? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!
This Sunday at 9am, 1070 The Fan debuts our brand new show - "The Voice of the Fan." Three Fan listeners will host their own 2-hour sports talk show!Chuck Bredl, Leah Henley, and Dan Bridges are the lucky 3 who will be our first-ever hosts. In future weeks, we'll have other listeners take their shot at broadcasting glory! And yes, it could be you!
Those we really like will be invited back for subsequent shows. If you have ever dreamed of hosting a sportstalk show like Kravitz & Eddie or Mike and Mike, here's your chance!

FOR MORE INFO - AM1070

FAR OUT!

As Y’all may know by now… I’m NOT a huge fan ‘O Princess Danicker’s… And while she may be the most popular driver in Indy Car, with Milka Duno potentially being the Hottest, by far the MOST WAY COOLEST! Is none other then Sarah Fisher.

As I was totally flabbergasted to receive a hand written Thank You card in the mail from Sarah just the other day… Holding the car to open it, I noticed there was a small bulge in the envelope… HMM? Wonder what that could be as I opened the card. Then there was a very nice personalized note from Sarah saying how she’d hoped to have an excellent month at Indy this year, but obviously things didn’t turn out quite so well and enclosed was a piece of her racecar which we all recall was heavily damaged when collecting a spinning Tony Kanaan… Along with Sarah saying she hoped to see me at Kentucky.

That just really made my day! As I was bowled over by this gesture on Sarah’s part! I mean C’mon; would Dan-Dan-Danicker ever do such a thing for me?

YOU ROCK SARAH!

Only wish I could afford the price ‘O petrol to go to the Blue Grass state… Good Luck in Kentucky!

Who’s Dat?

With the recent roasting of some ‘Ol curmudgeon, Err soothsayer journalist extraordinaire Robin Miller… As My Name is IRL has asked the burning question… Doesn’t he look like Mauri Rose? In his thinly guised report on mustachioed wanderers, I thought I’d alert all of uze Miller-pyles that Robin will be keeping self centered windbag Dave Despain company this Sunday evening as co-host…

Despain has billed the show as; “Two Millers for the price of one!” With said co-host and Kevin Miller of USAC as a guest, while Wind Tunnel’s burning question of the week is… What would you say or tell Robin if you met him in a bar? Send your questions/quips to Wind Tunnel…

As I’m sure that Jeff will be riveted to his TV set this Sunday evening, as Mr. Despain asks; Pardon mwah… Aren’t you Booby Ruble?

Broken record

As I’ve previously mentioned… The Google Monster has once again struck havoc upon the No Fenders site and it’ll be in a state of flux for the next few days, as I anxiously await the return to normalcy(?) as soon as my esteemed Blogmeister can complete his daunting task of rebuilding the site…

So, as Derrick Daly would say; “Hang on to your Holly-Hocks!” As hopefully he’ll have the Technical glitch fixed soon…

Thank You for your patience and continued reading…
Tomaso

GREMLINS!

FREAKIN’ GREMLINS!!!

As you may have noticed, the No Fenders site is currently experiencing a RASH of Technical Difficulties… Which it’s most esteemed Blogmeister is feverishly trying to eradicate…Perhaps it has somme-thun’ to dooze with my RASSCAR badgering, eh?

Thank You for your patience.
Kudos Blogmeister…

Washington Dry lands

(Whale it certainly AIN’T DRY here today!)

Just an escape artist, Racing against the night, A wandering hermit, Racing toward the light.

From the white sands, To the canyon lands, To the redwood stands. To the barren lands, To the barren lands...
(RUSH: Vapor Trails, Ghost Rider lyrics)

Or as perhaps RUSH would say; “Tastes like Chicken!” In deference to the three rotisseries on stage preparing said fowl while being basted by a “Roadie” in Chef’s regalia…

Otay, as I’ve already mentioned, I’m back from another very enjoyable outing in the Great Pacific Northwest’s abundance of wilderness… Having just spent the past eight days “On the Fly,” after having to partake in another FANTASTIC concert performed by The Kuh-Naidiun Power Trio, a.k.a. RUSH!

And somehow I feel that I should have been awarded double bonus points… As look Ma, NO Hands, Err… NOT only did I use my anxiously awaited “$timulus” check to pay for my outing, but I was seeing a neighboring countries performers and thus promoting Foreign Country relations, eh? Although I suppose some would argue that the moohlah that the Federal Re$erve has been printing up for said occasion was supposed to stay stateside… But DON’T worry you DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue… As unfortunately the bulk of my overly impressive $timulus check (If it ever arrives?) went straight back into the NASTY hands of Darth Vader, a.k.a. DICK Cheney… As Y’all know what the price of a gallon of petrol has been doin’ lately… SHEISE-KOPFES!

And riddle me this? Why in the HELL is the price of gasoline INFLATED 20 cents per gallon just because you’re in the cute little German Tourist-trap villas ‘O Leavenworth? As they’d jacked up the price to $4.29 per gallon, but I digress…

Having arrived at the Gorge around 5PM, we proceeded to the campground area to secure our location and set up our tent… Yet as the winds “Were A Blowin’” Mary Ellen and I laughed out loud when a gust of wind collapsed our tent, knocking it straight down after about only five minutes… And thus decided to leave it collapsed until after the concert was over, while our neighbor’s tent was trying to walk away all by itself! As somebody finally dragged it back towards us, asking; “Is this your tent?”

And like all outdoor concerts for RUSH, its always entertaining to hear the various sound systems blarin’ out their particular choice of the Kuh-Naidiun Power Trio’s vast library of music… As our next door neighbors were crankin’ out a live performance from the 2004 R30 Anniversary tour recorded in Germany…

Finally it was time to make the long walk from the campgrounds over to the venue, which is set against the perfect backdrop, as the mighty Columbia River snakes behind the stage, of which Mary Ellen informed me had three Semi Haulers directly next to it, while she counted a total of five “Newell?” Custom tour coaches and a further three semi’s parked nearby… HMM? Wonder who’s pickin’ up the tab for fueling this fleet of vehicles, eh? (Yeah, I’ll stop GROWLIN’ over those BASTARDOES SCREWING US!) As we sat on the grassy hillside, which seemed moderately filled by concert goers… And oh yeah… Guess what the price of a Schlitz Malt liquor beverage will run yuhz… $12 US Greenbacks…

The concert started promptly at 8PM with the first song being Limelight, a popular cut off of RUSH’s GRATEST Album; 1981’s Moving Pictures… Followed up by a long forgotten song off of the follow-up album Signals; Digital Man, which seemed appropriate in today’s age of portable electronic devices…

And it must be quite daunting to try and decide what 20+ songs to play, when you’re massive library contains hit songs from three decades; 1970’s, ‘80’s and ‘90’s, as the band did a fairly decent job of mixing up songs, although they managed to push the boundaries of overplaying their latest studio release Snakes & Arrows by playing eight tracks off of it…

During Geddy’s first obligatory crowd callout; Hello (Insert venues name here) How are uze doin’ out there? Geddy noted that they’d try to play a whole ton of songs if they didn’t get blown off the stage… As the winds were so strong that they actually blew the sound around! Yet, the boyzs would ultimately end up playing the entire side one of Moving Pictures: Tom Sawyer, Red Barchetta, YYZ and Limelight… As it was another truly impressive three hour cruise thru the annexes of RUSH’s music…

Afterwards, Mary Ellen and I used our patented follow the leader technique of helping me navigate bumpy, gravel/dirt surfaces in the darkness of night, where she simply guides me along by pulling my white cane… Which several concert onlookers were most curious about… As one slightly inebriated man approached us… Asking if he could hug me? To which we were most curious about and asked him why?; “Because I’ve NEVER hugged a Blind person before!”

Otay, I’ll play along and we briefly hugged, to which led into his telling us his whole life’s story in about five minutes… While asking me for repeated hugs…

Can I Hug you?

You guys probably don’t like people who kill deer? Do you like cabbage? I’m a tree murderer… Yeah, I’m a logger from Aberdeen and my wife’s a beautician who paints nails,

Can I Hug you?

I’m 41, how old are you?

Can we hug?; To which I replied; “Dude, we’ve already hugged!”

As we bid our farewells, a second man approached us and asked me if I’d enjoyed the concert? Why yes I did, as I was afraid to mention that it was actually my 16th time to see the venerable Kuh-Naidiun Power Trio…

Yet, after having spent over one hour scouring ze internets for a FRILLIN’ Concert review by our esteemed local newspapers, I’ve given up, as apparently they deemed RUSH NOT WORTHY of said review… And thus I’ll leave you with a review from The Great White North, held two nights prior to The Gorge performance…

RUSH ROCKS GM PLACE

UPDATE:

Here's a great review sent to me via AZ Bureau Chief Mary Jane; Greatness, thy name is Neil Peart

Back to the WET Stuff

Having just returned from an enjoyable week’s outing in the High Desert Dry lands, a.k.a. the other side of Washington State… Don’t uze just luv makin’ mistakes? As I’ve just spent the early hours of the morning busily hackin’ away at the keyboard, with much knucel bangin’ word butchery in my quest to crank out a story ‘bout Rubino “Officially” breaking Ricardo Patrese’s all time Grand Prix starting record of 256 starts… Only to discover at the end of the story that its still NOT a done dealoe… As although some sources claim this to be the ageless Brazilian’s 260th Grand Prix, they only recognize it as his 256th career start and hence, the definitive 257th GP start will be made at the French Grand Prix in a fortnight from this weekends outing on the Il Notre Dam at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve…

And with the plethora of motor racing this weekend, I’m already behind the eight-ball, having not yet reviewed Friday’s practice session as Qualifying looms on the horizon… Although I do intend to watch this evening’s frivolities at TEXX-ARSE Wurld Motor speedway

HMM? Wonder if promoter extraordinaire Edward “The Goose” Gossage will be putting’ out any bounties for Princess Danicker to toss her helmet?

Kuh-Naidiun Crunch

Some of you may have heard by now that John Rutsey is “No longer a Working Man…” As the following story was sent to me by Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B, whose favourite RUSH song is Working Man… Since I didn’t hear of the “Kuh-Naidiun Power Trio” until 1979, I never saw the band perform with their first drummer…

John Rutsey, Rush's First Drummer, Dies
AOL
Posted: 2008-05-14 18:10:52
Filed Under: Star Obituaries, Music News
(May 14) - Rock drummer John Rutsey, who co-founded progressive rock band Rush but left because of health reasons after recording the group's debut album, died over the weekend at age 55, their management company said.

Yet… We’re only immortal -- For a limited time
As; Time is a gypsy caravan that steals away in the nightTo leave you stranded in dreamland

And; Distance is a long-range filter and Memory a flickering light
(Lyrics: RUSH; Roll the Bones, Dreamline)

The Power Trio
Although it was just one year ago that I saw the band perform twice; White River & Clark County Amphitheatre’s… With an EXCELLENT show performed at Vancouver, WA, I just cannot seem to resist hearing my most favourite rock band perform…

Thus, I’m off once again to see RUSH KICK ASS at the Gorge Amphitheatre… And to do some camping with Mary Ellen for a few days, as there’s a storm a brewin… NO WAIT! That was some STUPID Indy 500 Pre-race banter... But!

As sun goes downOn the western shoreThe wind blows hard from the eastIt whips the sand into a flying spindriftAs the sun goes downOn the western shoreIt makes me feel uneasyIn the hot dry rasp of the devil windsWho cares what a fool believes
(Lyrics: RUSH; Snakes and Arrows, Spindrift)

I Am What?

Last night on Wind Tunnel, Dave Despain wouldn’t let intrepid Indy Car reporter Robin Miller leave without addressing the current SEX tape video of IRL Pitchman Gene “I AM INDY” Simonize… As Mr. Despain said wait a moment, do I hear something as the much ballyhooed I Am Indy song gently serenaded us in the background, as Mr. Despain said we’ll get to that Sir Maxxum business some other time… Now, this was entertaining as Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B had previously mentioned to me said video tape and a legal wrangle ensuing over the likeness of Mr. Simonizes jewel’s…

To which Miller gleefully deadpanned on camera, this is an SPEED exclusive Davey; I hear that the IRL is changing all of the I Am Indy decals to I AM INDECENT! To which Miller further noted how Tony George had shut down the renowned Snake Pit in order to end the full frontal nudity that was prevalent, also noting the incessant use of foul language by the current Rock bands gracing the infield section and how Mary Holman George would probably be offended by this…

Miller then urged George to re-open the Snake Pit where Mr. Simonize could perform, unless his current video was helping to sell out the Speedway? To which a chuckling Despain said; I’ve seen the still shots of the video and there’s NOTHING there to be overly impressed by…

So, be sure to get your I Am Indy memorabilia, which is destined to soon be a collectable, eh?

Indy videos

WOW! How COOL is this? As I’ve just received the following three videos from Tom of IgotShotgun.com. Although I’ve never heard of this particular video entertainment channel, Tom was kind enough to send the following videos they’ve just produced for GM.

Personally I’d go for the 180MPH ride around the Brickyard with Massimiliano (“Mad Max”) Papis… Although perhaps Massimiliano DOESN’T like being compared with Sir Maxxum, better known as the “Littlest Curve,” but then again, its NOT everyday you can have a former Formula 1 driver (Footwork, 1995) as your chauffeur in arguably Corvette’s “BADDEST” Ever production model!

Thanks once again Tom

Happy Mother’s Day

This weekend as usual is quite busy as Y’all gear up for another festive Mother’s Day… While there’s racing on both sides “O the Pond… As briefly mentioned, we’re left with only 10 Formula 1 teams for the time being, who are busy concentrating upon the four apexise of Turn 8 at the Istanbul Ring, while here stateside in Indiana, there’s a hella-lot ‘O “BOOMPIN’” going on over the first 22 grid slots…

Happy MUM’s Day, Y’all!

Chrome Horns

Well, Good Day from the Great White North… Actually it’s almost over now, as another Border crossing took almost the entire day to complete.

And its funny how there wasn’t any news about Mr. C.H. Not to be cornfuzed with Canadian Hosers… But instead that loveable Torontan… a.k.a. Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy, as the Top Sports story from CBC News was that the Kuh-nuck’s defeated the Yanks 5-4 in the World Hockey Championships…

Thus, the only low down I’ve heard recently on any possibilities to see the Thrill from the West Hill is to have ‘Ol PT pony up $500k large in order to buy a ride with Derrick Walker’s beleaguered outfit, which apparently still has a slightly used “Whoosh Mobile” Dallara in its possession?

Hopefully Robin Miller will indeed win the lottery! NO, NOT so he’ll quit covering motorsports Jeff, but instead so he can pay for Tracy’s ride this Month ‘O May. Of course there’s always that vacant #77…

Now I’ve got to Take Off, Eh? Has anybody seen my Touk?

Great White North

OTAY, I know it’s a bit backwards to be heading North today instead of making a Run for the Border on Cinco de Mayo…

But, nevertheless I’m off to the Great White North, eh? For the next few dazes… So if there AINT’s NO New posts, you can simply “BLAME KANA-DUH!”

Dan-Dan-Danica spotting

There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home, right Toto?

DAMN! Having to hit the MUTE button so many times last weekend as there she is… It’s Princess, Hail Dan-Dan-Danica… I wore out the batteries in my remote… And every time I turn on the radio or TV there’s another talking head telling me all about the magnanimous feat she’s accomplished! As I growled listening to two bobble-head DJ’s wrestle over whether you needed to pose half naked before or after you win your first motor race first thing Monday morning… Aye Karumba!

So, while Dan-Dan-Danica is making’ the talk show rounds… Look there she is giving us cooking tips with Regis and Kelly… And was that Princess on the View swapping beauty secrets with Bah-bah Walters? And then next she’ll drop by Elaine Degenerous before wrapping up the day with the Queen Bee Oprah…

So, Ize can’ts takes its NO More… And thus I’m off to check out some cute Tibetan Puppies for the next few days…

Miles to go

Hello Mr. Castro Neeves…
Can I have your autograph, please!
Fill ‘er up?
Check your oil Sir?
Check your wipers Sir?
Do the windows for you?
Check your tires Sir?
OOH! Are those the Majic Rings?
No, just a gallon of petrol please, I’m in a bit of a hurry…
Did you see who just went by?
Princess Corni-coppa
But I’m the winner of Dancin’ with the Stars!
I’ll just have to click my heels three times and hope I’m in Kansas...

There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home…

Late Nite comedy

And I still don’t quite get the moniker; “Son of Stash,” a.k.a. Darrell Rahal Jr/Rahal 2.0… But I did indeed stay up late to catch the young Messer Graham on the Late Show with noted funny-man/hack David Letterman…

First we were treated to the usual opening monologue frivolities, of which Letterman seemed to be on a roll, being the first time I’ve tuned into his broadcast this year. Then after a somewhat entertaining Top Ten of Pope Sayings; “Did you bring the wife?” it was time for Dave’s first guest Ulma Thurman…

But hey, Dave… We want Rahal! And talk ‘bout the ultimate tease… As for some reason there was a very stupid mid-show break involving fixing the TV’s reception, which I didn’t get at all. And this allowed for another onslaught of commercials, as we kept hearing, coming up next (Trust me) is Graham Rahal…

Who finally made his way onto the Late Show set, as I sat poised to count how many times Letterman said Newman Haas Lanigan, which oddly enough never happened. But at least Dave did correctly mention a few times that Rahal was the current winner of an Indy Car series race… Well actually as we all know by now, he’s the YOUNGEST Ever winner of an Indy Car race.

And I found Graham to be fairly poised during his interview as Dave never mentioned he was part team owner, instead always playing up the father-son angle… These kids used to steal tires in the pits… Yuck-Yuck-Yuck.

And who was that guy you had on your tail at the end of the race? Did he win some dancin’ thingy? Yeah, Castroneves scares me… I’m not sure when Helio “Blue suede shoes” is ever gonna come down off cloud nine… And I was worried about finishing the deal, since last year Dan Wheldon was leading at the end and Castroneves hit him on the restart to take the win. So, I knew that Helio wouldn’t be afraid to hit me...

And I passed somebodies car for the lead prior to that, a car I think you’re pretty familiar with Dave? As I had a smile on my face from ear to ear when I passed my Dad’s car on track for the lead! Now I wonder what my Dad’s thinking. And it’s pretty good when you get your first win, well even better yet when you get it in your first start, eh?

And then Letterman made a comment ‘bout how they wouldn’t allow Graham any champagne on the victory podium since he’s under age, so we got you a bottle of Dom Paragon… go ahead and give it your best shot… To which Graham proceeded to share the spray ‘O success with various audience members…

Well done Graham!

Scrambled!

Boo hoo hoo… As I’ve just spent the past two weeks frolicking about the Lone Star state, our Nation’s capital for a whole two hours, an aborted farewell send off to Albin, a nightmarish attempt to fly home along with missing the first Grand Prix of the season, which is extraordinary for me!!! As I cannot remember the last time I wasn’t firmly affixed to the captain’s chair in front of the boob tube to watch the season opening round that I wait all winter for…

I’ve just managed to finish watching several hours of Memorex via the ‘Ol School VCR, which has left me gasping for air as I’ve succumbed to the dreaded aeroplane sickness… Better known as Economy Cabin Fever! As I know Y’all will be sheddin’ a tear for me, eh? While still trying to digest the INSANITY of the season opener from Oz.

Aw, the life “O Riley, eh? As in Radar O’Reilly! Now somebody pass me a Halls cough drop! Or perhaps the Easter Bunny will bring me some Nyquil; you know the put you into a coma cough syrup relief medicine. Yeah, don’t worry, I’m NOT operating any heavy machinery right now…

Watch the birdie

Okay, so we’re still waiting for that REALLY-REALLY-REALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! Right, now lets see, Robin, can you pick up Kevin from the airport tomorrow? Uhm, Tony, have you kissed Super Tex’s pinky, Err, has anybody seen Gerald? And where’s that pesky Cabin fella. Right, I’ve got it! We’ll hold a press conference on… Somebody hand me the darts, BRILLIANT!

Actually the on again, off again press shin-dig is now tentatively slated for sometime this Friday?

"We're (down to) just grinding out the details," (Kevin Kalkhoven) said by telephone from London. "You know what happens when you get attorneys involved."

(Source: My Name is IRL)

Is today the day?

I’ve seen multiple reports on le Blogosphere indicating that today is the day indeed that we’ll have a REALLY- REALLY- REALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT regarding the much ballyhooed consolidation of Open Wheel Racing, although there still seems to be an ridiculous air of plausible deniability from the Champ Car’s Northern Indiana HQ, See;
Champ owner sees few teams in IRL

Of course, let’s consider the source of this protagonist, as it’s none other than Paul Gentilozzi, who’s the “Goofy” of the Four Moosketeers Kalkhoven and Forsythe have been letting run Champ Car into the weeds according to Robin Miller.

So stay tuned, keep ‘dem rabbit ears pointed towards the SPEED channel. Gotta run, the Bat phone’s ringing… Apparently Kevin Kalkhoven wanted to know what Robin Miller’s number was.

And it’ll be interesting to hear what the OWR Wanderer has to say tonight on Autosport Radio…

Blogger Spin Cycle

Ah, NOTHING like sharing the LUV… On Valentines Day, eh?

As for reasons unknown, we here at No Fenders are still experiencing the wrath of Technical Difficulties being caused by Blogger.com, which have been occurring since the beginning of Valentine’s day!

Hhopefully we’ll return as soon as possible! Sorry for the delay! As apparently there was too many Valentine's being sent over ze internets...

More to follow shortly...

In a New York minute

So, did y’all watch that monstrosity known as the STUPOR Bowl yesterday? Weren’t it GG’RRRRRRRRRRRRR-Great!!!

Actually, it panned out quite whale for me, as I finally broke down and turned on the boob tube to watch the last three minutes and fifteen seconds of the game, which turned out to be just the right amount ‘O pigskin action for me.

Of course I’m a little cynical ‘cause once again our Seattle Seahawks (nee Sea Chickens) got blown outta another year’s playoffs, as our beloved coach Fuzzy Zellar, err Mike Holgrem got blown out at his Alma matter, known as the place that some dude named Vince Lombardi built, better known as Lambeau Field. Yet, at least the NFL Champion NY Giants sent Green Bay packing, as now we can focus upon motor racing once again…

Back again

“Whale,” I’ve managed to return thru the snow from another enjoyable outing at the “Hobby Farm” where I successfully managed to pet three of the four Llamas. Which seem to be very sensitive animals, who don’t appreciate us Humans getting to close to them, although Jefford tried to convince me that you need to spit at them in order to gain their trust, funny guy, eh?

Now I suppose its time to get back to the “Rat Race” of scouring the newswires & internets for the latest happenings in the land of OZ. Perhaps Tony George and the Four Mooseketeers sang “Coom-bi-yah over the weekend? Hmm? Wonder how my mate Robert did this past weekend in Daytona…

It’s Alive!

There are reports coming out of Scottsdale, Arizona, that the Barrett-Jackson tent has gone up in flames… Apparently while the most outrageous piece ‘O iron was strutting towards the block…

Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Its name is Robosaurus and it’s a mere forty feet tall and is known as the king of all Transformers. Apparently it runs on a steady diet of Lincoln’s, Cadillac’s and Subaru’s too…

Yet, apparently when demonstrating its fire breathing abilities it caught one of the numerous dizzying chandelier disco balls on fire, which in turn set the big top’s roof ablaze…

Yet, the Scottsdale darkness was broken by the shooting star (afterburner) of Batmobile 1 that Craig Jackson & Steve Davis were spotted speeding to the Wells Fargo Bank across town in. As “Bat One” blew past Sherriff Joe in his Sherman tank while being clocked at 133mph on Scottsdale Boulevard…

Scottish spunk

This morning I received a story from Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B. Talk about starting your day off with a bang… As apparently Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti did his best Mel Gibson Brave heart impersonation… As the feisty Scot took off after a would be admirer in his boxers…

Let’s see, Indy Car has Helio “Dancin’ Fool” Castroneves and RASSCAR counters with Brave heart Dario. Talk ‘bout trying to get sagging ratings back up, eh?

To read the full story, see; Dario Franchitti Fights Crime without Pants

Kubota power

Yes, it’s NOT a name I’m familiar with either. Yet when I was in Minnesota this past July, while awaiting my very first ride aboard a Dodge Viper roadster, (fortunately I didn’t use the bathroom at the airport and run into Larry Craig!) as noted; I checked out some of the “Toy’s” in the owner’s garage, like a Honda CB50 “Mini-scooter” with a CBR500 engine stuffed into the frame as well as a truly unique contraption. A one of a kind built from scratch knee dragger motorcycle.

Yet the amazing thing about this Scooter is that it’s powered by a Kubota diesel tractor motor, hydraulically actuated. Which is no small feat of engineering, since the bike has neither chain nor shaft drive propelling the massive rear wheel, hung on a single sidearm!

I’m told it’s quite the head turner when Mr. Parker makes the rounds at Sturgis…