Three Amigos?

NOT! As ironically, once again it appeared that the hands of fate had intertwined the lives of Fernando Alonso, Kimi raikkonen and Michael Schumacher, of which it seems, was brought up during the just completed Japanese GP by Bob Varsha, whilst I finally had an opportunity to watch the Italian edition of Inside Grand Prix which chronicled the TERMINATOR’s near comeback…

Schuey gives up
As many of us anxiously awaited the return of Michael Schumacher to Scuderia Ferrari at the European Grand Prix, it was entertaining to note that first Williams and then Red Bull & Toro rosso all (adamantly) nixed the idea of letting Herr Schumacher get some seat time in Ferrari’s 2009 challenger, the F60, sighting how the current rules forbid any in-season testing and how Scuderia Toro Rosso’s rookie Jaime Alguersuari wasn’t allowed to do so prior to his Hungaroring debut.

Yet sadly, after having found himself behind the wheel of a privately owned Ferrari Clientente F2007, with “current GP2 spec” Slicks on it pounding about Mugello for 67 laps, Michael’s severely injured neck simply wasn’t able to withstand the rigours of a modern days Formula 1 chassis G-Loading and was forced to cancel his planned comeback, which was mightily disappointing to many around the globe, as the Tiafosi salivated at seeing the Ferrari God once again behind the wheel of one of their beloved rosso chariots.

Alonso to Ferrari
This was a long standing rumour which just wouldn’t go away… as mounting speculation continued to suggest that “Ferdi the Putz” (Alonso) had been inked to a pre-contract signing with the Scuderia to replace “The Kimster” (Raikkonen) in 2010 as Felipe Massa’s new teammate, in a deal eerily similar to Herr Schumacher’s farce majeure, where a la Williams dealings with Messer’s Mansell, Prost & Senna, saw some of the sport’s greatest simply unwilling to share the limelight with their contemporaries, nee arch rivals.

As it appears that Schuey was finally presented with the fact that he’d be paired with a younger Finnish teammate (Raikkonen) who could potentially beat him in equal machinery and thus decided to reluctantly call it a day in F1 a la Williams revolving cast of Grand Prix Superstars.

Thus, almost the entire Formula 1 Paddock seems to believe that it’s a done deal with Ferrari having switched its season ending party to Valencia and Spanish mega banking concern Banco Santander becoming Ferrari’s sponsor in 2010, (As this badly kept secret has just been confirmed at Monza with Ferrari announcing a five year deal having been struck.) Thus it seems to imply that it’s most certain that Alonso is set to arrive shortly.

Kimi going Rallying?
Then of course there was the most entertaining rumour suggesting that FIAT will start a new WRC Rally team next year allowing Maranello to transfer Raikkonen to the World Rally Championship in order to make way for Alonso’s arrival; of which I’d personally welcome, as it’d be an added boost to the WRC, which is sadly lacking for competition currently…

And thus, if such things do occur, where the Kimster is either persuaded or forced out to make room for the Spaniard, it would be an ironic parallel to the Finn’s own career path to the Scuderia, as Raikkonen first replaced the retiring Mika Hakkinen at McLaren, before filling the even larger “Schues” of Herr Schumacher at Ferrari… Although Kimi claims he AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE!!! Next season, since he’s got a contract to race for Ferrari in F1 alongside Felipe Massa, who seemingly has made a miraculous full recovery from his horrifying accident in Budapest and is set to return to full racing action for the Scuderia in 2010.

Yet, as Y’all know… Fredrico Suave (Alonso) has now been confirmed at Ferrari beginning in 2010 for 3yrs with an allotment of extensions available for the paltry sum of $25m (Euros) per season, as Massa’s new teammate, while Kimi will most likely return to McLaren next season as Lewis Hamilton’s new teammate, with Michael Schumacher continuing his role as Felipe’s mentor…

New McLaren videos

Whale I just returned from the Sleepy Hollow better known as Esticata, Oregon, of which I’ve never been to before... And after a 5 Hour drive home (due to traffic congestion) I haven’t had a chance to watch any of this weekend’s Motor Racing action and therefore am staying away from listening to Speed freaks or watching The Speed Report & Wind Tunnel as I’ll now most likely watch the SPEED replay of the German GP on Tuesday morning...

But have realized I’ve forgotten to mention that the McLaren Widget Box on the Right Hand sidebar has finally been updated this year and is definitely worth checking out!

So hopefully the young ‘ZEBB, a.k.a. Sebastian Vettel will win the race on Tuesday? As right now I’m in the midst of a good ‘Ol Thunder ‘N Lightning storm as a bolt ‘O Thunder has just rattled the windows mightily... Perhaps a sign that I’m not supposed to be staring at le Confuzer at the moment, eh?

Louise ‘N Mummy

Lewis Hamilton & his Mum out at St. James painting the town Red? (UK’s Mail)

Perhaps after all it wasn’t so wise to bet on Black this past weekend, eh? As I simply couldn’t resist asking Tricia to cut out the pic from the UK’s RAG The Mail... Which I’m told is absolute Rubbish! As their dedicated staff caught the down on his luck reigning F1 World Champion out late night commiserating with his Mum over another DISMAL outing in the woefully lacking McLaren MP4-24... But look on the bright side “Louise,” at least you didn’t book a Victory Party at Muse for Sunday night, eh?

Latest news from Paris

As you may be aware of, on Wednesday the FIA handed down McLaren a suspended three race ban over what some pundits have called “Ly-gate,” in which indeed Lewis Hamilton and Dave Ryan both were caught red handed doing to the Australian GP race stewards. Or as “Press Dawg” has noted; “McLaren’s now on Double Secret Probation” for the following 12 months after Martin Whitmarsh told the WMSC that McLaren was indeed guilty of breaking five counts of the Sporting Regulations, yet the team’s knuckles have basically now been wrapped with a ruler and will be free to get on with defending Hamilton’s Championship...

FIA announces revised 2010 Budget Cap plans
And as expected in the past few days, the WMSC also announced plans for a sweeping Budget Cap Formulae beginning next season, with the cap’s limit now being pushed up to $40m Euros ($59m USD) with a further number of line items being stricken from the previous $30M Euro iteration, most notably Driver’s salaries, which should be good news for USF1, Err USGPE, eh? (As this now paves the way to go after Princess ‘N Schrubb...)

Yet, I’m not impressed with the move to allow moveable front and rear wings, although perhaps this is the FIA’s attempt to give up upon policing the current front & rear wings that teams try to sneak past scrutineering, albeit Toyota was thrown to the back of the grid for said infringements... As I’m not sure what’s next? Sliding Skirts perhaps? As it seems that we’re on a slippery slope towards uncontained cornering speeds of which could potentially be detrimental to Driver’s safety in the future?

The FIA has also pushed forward the 2010 F1 Team Entry deadline to May 29th, with final team entries being announced in early June.

For full details see; FIA sets Formula One cost cap at $58.9 million

McLaren MP4-24

Keeping in the theme of being different, Vodafone McLaren Mercedes debuted its brand new MP4-24 race car at its Woking factory on January 16th. The 2009 challenger sports the Number 1 plate for Lewis Hamilton along with the numerous mandatory rules changes for the upcoming season.

Also of note, The Ronster, a.k.a Ron Dennis will step down from his long held position of Team Principle effective March 1st, with Martin Whitmarsh inheriting the position while Dennis will focus upon other company priorities...

Launch notes

McLaren’s white doves

As previously mentioned, shockingly, (NOT!) McLaren’s Golden Boy Lewis “Jaguar” Hamilton has been making the rounds of various Awards Banquets and has just collected the Autosport International Driver of the Year award, along with the majority of the BRDC Driver Awards.

The McLaren MP4/23 was voted the racing car of the year, with Ron Dennis receiving a Gold Star award to match Hamilton’s... And while “Jaguar” and the “Ronster” were busy soaking in the glare of bright lights and Dom Paragon, the Woking based squad was busy testing 2009 components in Jerez along with several other F1 teams.

Mclaren has also announced that their 2009 challenger will be launched on January 16th.

Support Lewis Hamilton petition

As many may be aware of, rightful Belgian Grand Prix winner Lewis Hamilton was stripped of his victory this past weekend at Spa Francorchamps upon being given a 25 second penalty for short cutting a chicane in the closing moments of the race.

Yet, fans around the world are so incensed by this grievous penalty, that they’ve started an online petition in support of Lewis Hamilton and urging the FIA to reconsider its decision. Having just signed the petition myself, (And I’m a longtime Kimi Raikkonen fan!) I noticed that there are now over 24,000 signatures...

For more information, see Grandprix.com’s; A petition supporting Lewis

Flambeaux

Former McLaren Double World Champion Mika Hakkinen’s French country estate Mhas gone up in flames, according to published reports, the mansion outside the village of Callian, near the town of Grasse, in Provence, broke out in flames early Saturday morning and nearly three fourths of the recently completed house was destroyed in the fire.

Hakkinen wasn’t home during the blaze, but his girlfriend and her friend escaped uninjured, as apparently Mika and ex-wife Erja have indeed split, as one report in the German national daily Bild-Zeitung noted;

"I am very surprised," said German motor sports commentator Hans-Joachim Stuck.

"To me they always seemed like the Finnish version of Michael and Corinna Schumacher -- a perfect couple," he added.

Thus it appears the couple did indeed divorce this past February, having split amicably. I’m assuming the Hakkinen’s two children, Hugo and Aina-Julia Were with Erja.

The fire’s cause was later traced to an electrical short in one of his display cabinet lights, but doesn’t say if any of his prized trophies were in the house at the time of this incident…

McLaren grid shuffle

Although I’d expected for this to happen at the season’s opening race Down Under in Melbourne, for some funny reason Team Vodafone McLaren Mercedes was allowed to occupy the fifth grid stall for the first two events of the season. (Something to do with The Ronster’s Battle AX, Err, the rolling Paragon hospitality suite)

Yet, Bahrain Grand Prix officials have been instructed to show Ron Dennis & Co. to their rightful spot on pit lane this season, being forced to the rear of the line, or last pit stall on the grid alongside Force India as per the draconian penalties handed out by the WMSC last year in regards to Stepney-gate.

HMM? Wonder if Sir Maxxum’s frivolities coming to light were know by Messer Dennis, who’s had a miserable past year under the spotlights, eh? Afterall, who made the FIA look STUPID when it came to light that Renault had been caught spying even worse then the Woking based squad, while the Reggie was let off the hook Scot-free…

Hamilton’s New Deal

Although there were previous rumours over Formula 1’s newest sensation, “Louise Jaguar” Hamilton having done a new deal with McLaren, it has now been confirmed with Ron Dennis announcing that his protégé has indeed been inked thru the 2012 season.

Reports claim that the young Britain’s new five year deal is valued at $138 million, which makes his move to Switzerland even more enticing, due to their relaxed tax policy. As one British rag noted, if the figures are correct and Hamilton had continued living in “Jolly ‘Ol England.” He’d have been faced with a $55 milllion tax debt! And to think that Hamilton just celebrated his 23rd birthday at Stuttgart during the unveiling of the MP/4-23…

McLaren MP4-23

In the wake of its long running punishment over Stepney Gate, McLaren had originally intended to not host a glitzy car launch this season. Yet its major sponsors; nee Mercedes Benz wanted to do so and hence the launching of their newest challenger, the MP4-23 was hosted at the German automaker’s museum in Stuttgart, Germany. Like Ferrari, McLaren won’t debut their definitive “Melbourne-spec” bodywork until “Just-in-Time” for the race Down Under…

Kovalainen confirmed at McLaren

Not surprisingly, upon Renault’s announcement of its 2008 driver pairing, Heikke Kovalainen has been quickly snatched up by McLaren to partner rookie phenom Lewis Hamilton for 2008.

McLaren confirmed the young Finn’s appointment to the seat last Friday, with Heikke being inked to a long term contract. This announcement was followed by the usual PR Speak.

Heikke Kovalainen:
"I am so excited to join a team like Vodafone McLaren Mercedes. So far I have been blown away by the dedication and commitment to winning which is clear through the entire organization and I am really excited about our joint future. As a Finn it’s an honour for me to follow in Mika and Kimi’s footsteps. I haven’t really spent a lot of time with Lewis so far but from what I know I think we will work well together and do our best for the team."

No More Alonso

Well I suppose it should be NO Surprise that McLaren and Fernando Alonso have “amicably” parted company. This long rumoured split was confirmed last Friday, which is traditionally a “Slow News Day.”

Both “Ferdi the Putz” and “The Ronster” (Ron Dennis) blathered the required “NO HARD Feelings” eulogies, saying it was in the best interest of the team and we’ve “Kissed ‘N Made Up” before goin our separate ways. “Can we just be Friends?”

Thus Ferdi will now seek to take his helmet bag to one of the few remaining options available for 2008, with whispers that negotiations at Renault aren’t all “Warm ‘N Fuzzy.” Could this just be part of the traditional negotiating ploy?

Although there are rumours of Alonso talking to Red Bull Racing or even joining Williams, I still expect the Spaniard to land at Renault next year…

And I like Adam Cooper’s idea that he’ll be teaming with rookie driver Nelson Piquet Jr., seeing Heikki Kovalanen join McLaren. As Ron Dennis seems to enjoy having a Finn on his squad…

If you wish to read the whole “Mooshy” announcement; see Alonso/McLaren split Company

Alonso toys with Team managers

Geez! Perhaps it’s just me? But I’m getting a bit tired of all of the bleepin’ salivating over where Alonso will land next season, as the War of Words continues between “Ferdi the Putz and Louise Jaguar Hamilton on” whom should stay and who should go.

And I can tell yuh that the Ronster is firmly in favour of prodigy Hamilton staying, which means either Alonso will stomach out the rest of his contract or depart for another team prior to the 2008 Season.

And I just CANNOT believe all the speculation over Alonso going to Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro, replacing Felipe Massa and becoming Kimi Raikkonen’s teammate… Do you really think Alonso would wish to go to Maranello where currently both drivers have “EQUAL” status.

Nope, to me the most logical seat for Ferdi will be back with his ‘ol lightning rod Flavour Flav at Renault as Giancarlo Fisichella’s replacement.

And I’m really getting fed up with Emperor Bernardo stating that Alonso may sit out next season in order to go to Ferrari in 2009, which seems overly preposterous to me. Given the fact that Spain will be hosting two grand Prix’s for the very first time in history next year Err, excuse me Mr. Promoter, Fernando cannot come out ‘N play!

And I doubt that Alonso will be interested in going to Toyota as Ralfanso’s replacement, since I suspect Ferdi is keen to reclaim his Driver’s crown, unless he’s more interested in how much Yen he can pilfer from Toyota’s piggy bank, eh?

McLaren drops appeal

The FIA has confirmed that McLaren has dropped its appeal of the loss of its Hunga-boring Constructor’s points, which you may recall stemmed from Fernando Alonso’s pit lane shenanigans.

This is supposedly the same weekend that Ferdi tried blackmailing Ron Dennis into punting his prized protégé Lewis Hamilton from the all conquering McLaren Mercedes squad. Rumours suggest that the Ronster and Ferdi haven’t spoken to each other since…

Interestingly SPEED’s Bob Varsha noted that half of the record $100 million fine would now be split between the lower Formula 1 teams, which I assume this portion would come from what McLaren was expected to earn this season as one of the grids front runners. With the other half to be distributed to the various FIA delegations around the world…

McLaren BUSTED!

I’m assuming by now that everyone has heard the news over McLaren receiving Draconian punishment by the World Motor Sport Council after the “emergency” meeting held Thursday to discuss new evidence against the Woking squad.

Having been previously found guilty of breeching article 151C in the WMSC’s July meeting, yet having NO fines levied against them. The WMSC retained the right to recall McLaren back before the tribunal if any further damaging evidence came to light in the ever growing “Stepney-Gate” Spy scandal.

In the past weeks it has come to light that McLaren test driver Pedro de la Rosa had been contacting McLaren’ ex-chief designer Mike Coughlan via email and then passing set-up information to his fellow countryman Fernando Alonso.

And the current rumours abounding all across the spectrum insist that Ferdi tried using the information to blackmail Ron Dennis into all sorts of nefarious things including full number one driver status and sending the “Ronster’s” star pupil Lewis Hamilton packing…

Therefore allegedly the Ronster felt compelled to present the damming information to the FIA himself in lieu of giving into Ferdi’s OUTRAGEOUS demands, which in turn led to McLaren being fined a record amount of $100 million along with forfeiting ALL of its 2007 Constructor’s points. This has effectively handed the Constructor’s title to Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro, which seems totally willing to accept the trophy at ANY cost!

And before you shed a tear for Ron Dennis & Norbert Haug, lets recall that McLaren was caught tampering with the FIA ECU/Engine seals upon Mika Hakkinen’s chassis several years ago and given a slap on the wrist, with a paltry fine of $50,000.

Although as SPEED’s Peter Windsor has personally pointed out… Spying and the illicit transferring of rival team’s information has been a long standing practice in Formula 1, I find that the magnitude of the information passed from Ferrari to McLaren is unprecedented and it would be nice to believe that the penalty would perhaps make rival teams think twice before pulling such shenanigans.

It will be entertaining to note that McLaren will now be force to occupy smaller pit lane facilities alongside the Spyker Team India operation as well as having to pay their own air freight. Yet Messer Ron can take solace in the fact that the No. 1 & 2 will adorn the 2008 McLaren’s parked alongside the Prodrive “B” Team debutants…

Alonso to leave McLaren?

Apparently Formula 1 has been watching the Robby Gourdoun Show… With its own soap box programming. Currently known as the Ferdi ‘N Louise show. And there have been countless stories lately upon the stormy relationship between the two McLaren hired guns. From Lewis Hamilton claiming Fernando Alonso isn’t speaking to him. To Hamilton categorily denying he told the Ronster to “F’ OFF!” on the radio during the “Hunga-Boring” weekend.

So how can one resist being sucked into the melodrama? As the latest press releases seeking Damage Control are attempting to throw cold water on the whole melee. As Ferdi now says he’s NOT leaving McLaren and Louise says “He’s NOT at war with Alonso.”

With the recent departure of Sebastian Vettel to Toro Rosso. This seemed to imply to me that BMW Sauber is happy with its current driver line-up and will keep “Quick Nick” Heidfeld next year. As he’s currently racing for a new contract.

This seems to leave only two “Top” team options available to Fernando. Either a return to Renault under Flavour Flav’s tutelage. Or dare I say it? As Ralfanzo’s replacement at Toyota…

Have you seen Fernando?

Well I just had to crack-up over the latest picture Danny B posted upon reading his recent story… And I find the topic of plastering Fernando Alonso’s mug on the back of thousands of Milk containers quite hilarious.

And this brings up the subject of the ridiculous lather over current UK Media Darling, err Sensation “Louise Jaguar” Hamilton. As I keep forgetting that the title of media darling already belongs to “Princess.” Better known to y’all as Danica Patrick.

So I was happy to read that Ron Dennis has CORRECTLY pointed out that Fernando & Jaguar are NOT the 21st century version of Prost & Senna!

All I can think of is Butthead ‘N Beevus… Err, Batman & Robin. And I’m NOT even gonna try guessing which “Juan” is the Boy Wunderer…

DAMM!!! That bothers me when I find the “Ronster” (Mr. Dennis) to be correct. And I DON’T expect Fernandoe & Louise (Not to be confused with Thelma & Louise) to dominate the 2007 season like McLaren did nearly 20 years ago…

Please DON’T let that happen Ferrari, while I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for “Quick Nick” to score BMW Sauber’s maiden victory. When Ferdi & Jaguar finally collect each other, causing a multi-car shunt contesting the first corner, a la Ralfanso…

Danny’s Open Wheel Report

-Hamilton crashes again

And while the bloody UK media is still drooling over Lewis Hamilton’s sweep of North Americana, I found it humorous to learn that “Jaguar” managed to smash up a recently auctioned go kart.

Apparently the British lad wished to give the eBay bidder the full Monty… Ergo, the equivalent of a Darlington stripe. Better known as a Monte Carlo paint scheme. A la Louis’s scrubbing off the Bridgestone letters around Monnocoe while routinely hitting the walls of the Principality...

Alonso get’s big Pay Raise

For many seasons Michael Schumacher not only ruled the world of Formula 1 on track, but also in the driver salary market, with rumours of annual retainers of $40-50 million excluding his merchandising arrangements.

Estimates put Schumacher’s current wealth at $800 million and for several years I’ve been claiming that he’ll become the very first F1 driver to crack the $1 billion mark.

Yet with Schumacher’s retirement, comes word that he’ll only make a paltry $26 million in ’07.

Upon Double World Champion Fernando Alonso’s move to McLaren Mercedes comes word that the Spaniard’s decision to jump ship was considerably eased by the salary increase that Ron Dennis offered him, a rumored $43 million…

The pay raise makes Alonso the third highest paid professional athelete, languishing only behind Tiger Woods ($90 million) and Phil Mickelson ($47 million)

And to think that many “Stick ‘N Ball” fans don’t think racing drivers are athletes…

Alonso Slams Renault

Yet once again is this some of the notoriously masterful mind games that Formula 1 drivers are renown for? Apparently Fernando Alonso has some doubts about his former race team Renault, which you can read in the story: Renault inconsistent this Winter…

McLaren MP4/22

Wishing to capitalize upon its new driver line-up and new title sponsor Vodafone, McLaren made a splash last week in Valencia while having its newest racing drivers cruise the streets to an estimated throng of 150,000 Spaniard’s before unveiling the new MP4/22.

Lost in all of the launch excitement was the news of former Williams sponsor Fed Ex moving to McLaren for 2007…

To read about Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro's 2007 Launch, see: Ferrari F2007

McLaren joins the Middle East

Interestingly while the never ending Middle East power struggle continues, including the fight over who has the most oil… The Bahrain Government has just purchased a 30% stake in McLaren…

If and when the deal is approved, McLaren’s new ownership will see Daimler-Chrysler become the majority stakeholder and the Bahrain government with the second largest stake. This will see the team’s previous majority shareholders Ron Dennis and Mansour Ojjeh whom had already sold initially to Daimler-Chrysler, now further reduce their holding by selling a second block of the company to Bahrain Mumtalakat Holding… (A newly formed holding’s company of the Bahrain Government)

Interestingly there are two other teams on the Formula 1 grid with minority shareholdings being owned by Middle East concerns. Ferrari has a 5% foreign stakeholder while Spyker F1 is owned by a Dutch-Arab consortium…

McLaren’s newest Golden Boy

So just what is all the buzz about over McLaren’s newest recruit? No, I’m not talking about two time reigning Formula 1 World Champion Fernando Alonso…

Lewis Hamilton first met Ron Dennis when he was 10 years old. Hamilton had just won a karting title and was in search of Dennis’s autograph. Three years later at age 13, Hamilton became the youngest ever to sign a F1 developmental contract with McLaren…

Now nine years later and fresh off of winning the GP 2 Championship, Dennis was ready to cash in on his investment. It is rumoured that McLaren Mercedes spent $5 million on Hamilton’s grooming for an F1 drive. At age 21, the young Briton will face stiff competition for “Rookie of the Year” honors in F1 against Renault’s Heikki Kovalainen…

And shame on the Media, Formula 1 and Bernie Ecclestone for exploiting Hamilton’s racial bloodlines… Although I know nothing about the young Brit, he seems very level headed from The Speed Report interview I watched last week. While the stupid Media is already calling him the Tiger Woods of F1, I liked how Hamilton didn’t say anything at all about the subject…

For the record the very first African American to drive a F1 chassis was Willy T. Ribbs in 1985 for Brabham; owned by Mr. Ecclestone (once a promoter, always a promoter) Hamilton will become the very first Black to race in F1 in 2007…

Mika Returns to F1

Apparently Mika Hakkinen won’t have any time to sample any Johnnie Walker in the near future as Hakkinen will instead return to a Formula 1 cockpit this week in Barcelona alongside Pedro de la Rosa and Lewis Hamilton…

Hakkinen’s testing should not be taken too seriously since McLaren already has it’s drivers signed up for 2007,but its always nice to have a double world champion wishing to give your machinery a test spin…

Hamming it up at McLaren

McLaren has finally announced Fernando Alonso’s partner for the 2007 season. McLaren has confirmed reigning GP2 Champion, 21 year old Lewis Hamilton to the currently vacated number two race seat…

”MAC” Montoya

McLaren has finally released Juan Pablo Montoya from his contract, enabling the Colombian to begin his NASCAR testing for next year’s full season Nextel Cup campaign.

Montoya tested a Chip Ganassi ARCA car Monday at Talladega, along with possible races in either Busch or Nextel Cup this season prior to his rookie debut in the 2007 Daytona 500.