Team USF1 Update

While the cynics still seem to doubt the arrival of USF1 in 2010, nevertheless the silvered tongued House ‘O Windsor (Peter) made his very last Grid Walk for current employer SPEED TV during the inaugural Abu Dabi GP…

And the team has hired long time F1 veteran David Stubbs to be the Manager of its newly announced European Operations base at MotorLand Aragon, a most impressive facility located in Alcaniz, Spain, featuring multiple test tracks, including a Formula 1 spec circuit designed by FIA circuit Architect Herman Tilke.

Interestingly, Stubbs began his Grand Prix career at Williams having joined from the British Atomic Research facility alongside another recruit by the name of Ross Brawn, way back in 1978, starting work as a “gopher.” Stubbs then steadily moved up the ladder and was Williams Team Manager during the late 1980’s, notably during the Mansell-Piquet Honda era before moving onto Brabham, Paul Stewart Racing, Stewart Grand Prix and Jaguar…

Meanwhile it has become clearly obvious to me that Ken & Peter will NOT have an American Driver in 2010 as somewhere I heard/read that none of the current names being dropped by Peter qualify for the mandatory FIA Super license one needs to race in Formula 1; although Princess does meet the licensing requirements Y’all know she’s way too busy preparing to what many on the Blogosphere are denoting as CABS!

While Ryan Hunter-Reay would have been hard pressed to be granted said Super License, since he doesn’t meet the current requirements, I doubt he’s going anywhere besides Mikey Andretti Racing now that his personal sponsor IZOD has become the Indy Car Series title sponsor, eh?

Meanwhile a certain Aussi guest scribe at My Name is IRL has been giving us his jaundiced view towards Team USF1 in his Hillarious behind the scenes USF1 HQ videos…

A Day at the USF1 Office

Day 2 at USF1 HQ

Day 3 at USF1 HQ

Now I’d better shut down Ye ‘Ol Confuser since the Stefny Cleaning Agency is due any moment…

IRL Newsflash… We’ve got a Title Sponsor

Team IZOD!

Uh, in case you missed it somehow? In a story that’s been plastered all over le internets, the Indy Car Series has finally landed a new “tittle” sponsor for its vaunted Indy Racing League as I believe some sorta shirt company is going to be the Leagues backer beginning in 2010, in a deal reportedly for six years (optional two year extension) and rumoured to be for $10-15 million per season and potentially worth as much as a “Mega” $100m over the contracts lifetime… In what will become the Tuh-Duh!

IZOD IndyCar Series

But according to Will of Is it May Yet? Its NOT that IZOD Company Y’all think it is…
Fly Over for the 2010 Indianapolis 500 announced

And IZOD’s new proposed IndyCar T-Shirts look a HELL of a lot better then previous ICS incarnations, now hopefully they WON’T flashback to that catchy marketing jingle I AM INDY!

Greg Moore – 10 years after

So like always, its hard to believe that a decade has already passed since the fatal tragedy that claimed one of CART’s rising Stars on Halloween occurred, thus taking Greg Moore’s life in the 1999 CART Season Finale’s Marlboro 500 at the California Speedway…

As I can still recall seeing Moore’s Player’s liveried Forsythe Reynard/Mercedes Benz violently Barrel-rolling multiple times along the circuits high bank knowing that it would be a miracle for Moore to escape un-injured; especially at the unabated speed of 200mph plus!

Yet for reasons unknown, the strongest memory of the late Greg Moore I seem to harbor is his overly foolish Bonsai carnival-like maneuver into the Festival Curves at the start of the 1998 Portland G.I. Joes 200, where as “Auntie” Harriet would say… He was acting like a “Hot Head!”

As almost co medically, Moore attempted to leapfrog his way into the lead from P14 and in the process managed to eliminate seven Racers!

Yet obviously the New Westminster native, who grew-up in the Maple Ridge suburb of Vancouver, BC had unbridled talent, as none other than the legendary “Captain” Roger Penske had just inked him to a (Multi-year) contract during the summer of 1999 to become a Penske Racing Driver for the 2000 season before his untimely incident.

Like many “Kanuck’s” Moore played Ice Hockey as a youth and ironically the No. 99 would be assigned to him when he began his Karting career… Thus reputedly having nothing to do with the revered “Great One,” (Wayne Gretsky) although certainly the connection wasn’t lost to Greg, as it would become his Car number throughout his CART career...

And like most Open Wheel Racecar Drivers, Moore cut his teeth in Go-Karts, winning the 1989-90 North American Enduro Championship before progressing to Formula Ford’s, where in 1991 he was the Formula Ford 1600 Rookie of the Year after finishing fourth overall with one victory.

In 1992, Moore became the USAC West FF2000 (Formula Ford) Champion, having claimed four Poles and four victories enroute to the title, along with being the series Rookie of the Year, before moving onto the (original) Indy Lights series, which he ran in 1993 for his Family’s underfunded Team and finished ninth overall.

In 1994 Greg became the youngest ever winner of a (CART Sanctioned) Indy Lights race at the tender age of 18 when he took the chequered flag at the season opening round in Phoenix, AZ and would record two more wins that season enroute to finishing third in the Championship.

For 1995, Greg joined the Players/Forsythe Racing Organisation and simply crushed the competition enroute to the Indy Lights Championship with a staggering ten wins out of twelve races, including a scintillating five-in-a-row… And thus was destined to make his move up to the “Big Boyz” the following season.

In his Debutant season, Moore scored 84 points and finished as runner-up in the CART/PPG’s Jim Trueman Rookie of the Year standings behind somebody named “Zorro,” a.k.a. Alex Zanardi.

In 1997, Greg then became the Championship Auto Racing Teams youngest ever winner (to that date; since eclipsed by Scott Dixon and Nelson Philippe) at the age of 22 when he beat Michael Andretti to the stripe at the famed Milwaukee Mile and would repeat as winner again just one week later… As I recall screaming at the Telescreen as not one but both of my Home team’s PacWest Racing Drivers; Mauricio Gugelmin and Mark Blundell who were running nose to tail 1-2 both sputtered out of petrol on the final lap and Moore swept thru from third place to claim victory on Detroit’s Belle Isle.

In ’98 Greg was joined by fellow Canadian Patrick Carpentier as Players/Forsythe expanded to a two car operation and Moore would dice with Zanardi at the Emerson Fittipaldi Speedway (“Roval”) in Rio de Janeiro before making a spectacular pass to solidify his fourth Champ Car victory, before later that year he’d pass the Target Boyz duo of Zanardi and Jimmy Vasser to claim the Vanderbuilt Cup in the US 500 at Michigan International Speedway, which was sadly overshadowed by the deaths of three spectators from a flying tyre that bounded over the catch fencing.


The year 1999 would start off very good for the Kanuck, once again taking victory in the season opening race in Miami, this time on the Oval Track at Homestead, which sadly would become his final Indy Car career victory, as Moore would suffer fatal head injuries on his early race incident at Fontana. (As the violent crash registered an incomprehensible 154 G’s!)

And ironically the Halloween race weekend had started out ominously for Greg when he was struck on his “Scooter” by a vehicle in the Paddock, suffering an injured right hand with Roberto Moreno being called-in by Players/Forsythe as a Back-up replacement, although Greg would take the Green flag from the rear of the field, having been cleared to drive with a hand brace.

And as I’ve said before, reportedly it was Greg whom introduced the “Dashley ‘Juan,” nee Dario Franchitti to his future wife (Ashley Judd) at a party of friend Jason Priestley's… As Greg’s posse was known to include the likes of “Mad Max” (Massimiliano) Papis, “TK,” (Tony Kanaan) “REO Speedwagon” (Dario Franchitti) and others I cannot recall, (Greg Moore Brat Pack: Adrian Fernandez, Franchitti, Kanaan, Papis and Jimmy Vasser) as I was overly touched by Dario dedicating his 2009 Indy Car Series Championship at Homestead to his late, great, friend…

Remembering Gregg Moore

Stats
1993-95: CART Indy Lights
1995 Indy Lights Champion

1996-99: CART/PPG Championship
72 Starts; 5 Poles; 5 Wins; 17 Podiums.
First race, 1996: Homestead-Miami Speedway; Homestead, FL
Last race, 1999: California Speedway; Fontana, CA

Indy Car fodder

So the seasons over and Y’all know the Championship results… But did I hear Bob Jenkins right? As I swear I heard him say that Alex “Pink” Lloyd has a full time ride with Newman Haas Lanigan Racing in 2010 during the Broadcast…

Along with Will Power being given a full time gig in Team Penske’s third IRL entity next year as Penske’s Grand Am Sports Car crew will move over to the IRL, which seems to be unconfirmed at the moment, since its expected The Captain will at least run the Rolex 24 at Daytona next January?

Not to mention Sarah Fisher Racing’s expansion plans, while the verdicts still out on Hideki Mutoh and his Formula Dream sponsorship for 2010…

And did Y’all catch Dario on Wind Tunnel Sunday night? To which when asked by Dave Despain if he’d caused any modern IRL lore by celebrating, Dario replied that he’d been out with Dixon, Wheldon and Kanaan ‘til 5AM… After snickering nothing good ever comes outta hanging out with them, since somewhere during the weekend’s festivities, TK’s reported to have thrown Dario into a swimming pool… Yet, there’s no word on whether or not any bicycles were sawed in half?

And I liked Dave’s gentile dig about Dario’s future plans… Asking him if he’d may be going to MOTO GP with all of his Motorcycling skills… To which Dario coyly replied I’m not so good with my Motorcycling Dave, but I do enjoy watching MOTO GP…

And “”Mr. CHiPs” of Indy Racing Revolution has an entertaining look upon how the Dashley ‘Juan, Err Mr. REO Speedwagon, nee Dario Franchitti’s improvable victory is being viewed abroad, click here.

Yet, best of all was the eternal optimist Robin Miller’s take upon the IRL switching over to a slightly biased Road Course/Street Circuit calendar… HELL! TCGR & Penske won all of the Ovals this year, they’ll win them ALL next year and then again ‘N again…

So may be the switch will be a good thing, since the only driver to prevent the Ganassi-Penske “Clean Sweep” was Justin Wilson’s breakout victory for Dale Coyne at Watkins Glen…

Homestead ’09: The Motegi edition

First ‘N Foremost… Hats off to the entire ICS grid for running their own respective races and NOT interfering with or taking out the three title contenders… As fortunately Hulio didn’t pull a “Bryan Herta” and cause a Yellow flag in order for teammate Ryan “Burnin’ Inferno” Briscoe to make the necessary fuel mileage to claim his first Indy Car crown, but I digress… As this would turn out to be the very first race in IRL history to go caution flag free and the second quickest ever completed event at a skosh over 201mph.

Dario Franchitti (1st: 2009 ICS Champion)
As Y’all may know, I was rootin’ for Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti to win his second Indy Car crown the majority of the season… As he seems to be the liveliest of the three Championship combatants Yet, I changed this tact when I wrote Dario-speak where I thought he uncharacteristically threw his Pit crew “Under the Bus” and hence changed allegiances to Ryan Briscoe…

So I found it most ironic that Dario won the 2009 Indy Car title Saturday; as I’d previously asked Mary Ellen over the course of our Maryhill excursion if she thought Dario remembered that it would be his friend Greg Moore’s 10yr Anniversary of his death this Halloween… Especially since reportedly it was Greg who introduced him to Ashley Up North, Eh? In Vancouver, BC at a party; as thus the irony dripped even further over Mwah when Dario dedicated his '09 ICS title to Greg Moore, saying this "Juan's for him as it was 10yrs ago that Juan Pablo Montoya beat me (for the CART crown) and we lost Greg... And when asked if he started thinking about it before the chequered flag, Dario responded; Greg would have KICKED MY ASS if I'd started thinking about it before winning the race!

And before Y’all make any Dario backing into it a la Princess Motegi comparisons… As Dario was quick to point out that they went for a fuel mileage race… Its worth noting that Dario’s taken five Pole positions this season along with five victories; so Congratulations Dario!

Scott Dixon (2nd; -11pts)
Don’t know why, but for some strange reason I wanted anybody but The Iceman 2.0 to win a second consecutive title and third overall this year, as Scott just seems to be the most “Vanilla” of the three drivers and Thank Goodness I wasn’t playing some sorta drinking game for every time he said the word Target this season; Aye Karumba!

And its even funnier yet that I feel this way since I should be rooting for him as he’s originally a PacWest CART Boy, which after all was my Home team for several years… Yet Dixon still has plenty ‘O time to break all of Sam Hornish’s IRL records and I’m guessing he’ll be even hungrier next year, eh?

Ryan Briscoe (3rd; -12pts)
As Y’all ready know… This was the driver I spent the whole race chanting GO RYAN! At the Telescreen as I kept saying you’ve gotta lead the most laps plus win the race as Scott Dixon was making things difficult for him once again…

And Ryan did his very best, by clinching the two points bonus for leading most laps and seemingly being the driver to beat, but it wasn’t to be, as Dario slyly worked his way forwards from third to first in the final laps, going on to win the title…

Yet I found Ryan to be the most impressive of the three and I really enjoyed his openness and humbleness throughout his “Twenty-Oh-Nine” IRL campaign, as he seemed to be the most improved driver of this Championship trio, so Hats Off to Ryan, who’ll possibly beat his former Boss next year, eh?

And it was most impressive how these three combatants left everyone in their dust, by lapping the entire field by two laps as you cannot ask for anymore of a season finale, Yet since these three drivers claimed a total of 16 of the 17 Indy Car race victories this season, you’d have to expect them to be the Championship front runners… So perhaps it was fitting that the number 10 racecar captured victory and the Championship on the tenth day of the tenth month of the year, ten years after having lost a title and a very good friend, eh?

And I've just learned that it was also TCGR's 10th victory of the season... Coincidence?

Homestead Finale is only eight days away

So it’s always fun to be allowed to listen-in on an IRL Teleconference with some IndyCar “Big boyz…” Especially on a gray ‘N gloomy day in the Pacific Northwest,; and thus your Humble Scribe, along with his fellow “Bloggaraatzi” (As Jeffie of My Name is IRL likes to call it) got to listen in on a fairly entertaining interview between two of the chief architects contesting the 2009 Indy Car Series Title; Mike Hull of TCGR and Tim Cindric of Team Penske for what was essentially a half hour interview.

IRL Teleconference
(Thursday; October 1, 2009)
The teleconference was hosted by the always affable Arni Sribhen, of Firestone Indy Lights fame… And I enjoyed the light hearted competitiveness between the two men, as Cindric scored the first broadside across Hull’s bow when telling Mike to take it away and answer Arni’s question first since you’re leading… To which caused Hull to guffaw out loud, as Arni had read off the most impressive Bio’s of both combatants, whom both have scored multiple Championships and racing victories along the way. With Tim being Hulio’s Pit Strategist, while Mike is responsible for calling the shots on Dixon’s car, in what Arni noted was the second closest title fight in series history, with a record 14 lead changes to date.

In regards to Ryan Briscoe’s blossoming into a title contender this season, Cindric noted that Ryan has always been on the pace since the very “Get-go” when watching him test against Penske at Sebring in 2005 with TCGR. When it became apparent that Lucas leur was moving to Audi’s Sports Car effort in ’07, Briscoe’s name came up and they decided to give him a shot in American Le Mans competition to see if he could mature into a possible replacement for Sam Hornish Jr.

To which Hull replied; by saying can I say a thing about Briscoe before answering your question Arni. I’ve always thought that Ryan was special from Day One when he privately tested for us at Phoenix before the Sebring test and he really persevered thru a very tough ’05 campaign, where we simply decided to look at our operation from a business standpoint and decided to cut back to a two car operation which meant unfortunately we had to let Ryan go, as I’m a huge fan of his… So obviously I wasn’t looking to have him winning the title against our two drivers; as Scott and Dario are simply the two most similar drivers - melding into one and sharing everything, so hopefully one of them will win the title for us. (Of course I’d hazard to guess that Mike would prefer Dixon in order to give him bragging rights over his boss a la Cindric vs. “The Captain.”)

Then it was time for questions from the selected audience with Bruce Martin of versus being up first. Huh? I thought that Bruce was the Doofus who less then impressed me at Indianapolis this May with his stupid qcomments while reporting for Sports Illustrated.

And after repeatedly trying to pin down Cindric on Will Power’s future at Penske, Tim calmly stated; well I can tell you we’re NOT letting him go yet! As we’d obviously like to get the situation cleared up as soon as possible; as to whether it’s a full time ride or race by race basis we’re still working upon that situation.

Cindric then rolled off the company line how you could throw a virtual blanket over Power and Briscoe, who are extremely similar talent-wise… Well for starters they’re both “Aussies.” And they both work really well together and are quite willing to share information with Castroneves, who’s kinda our team leader.

Next to take a crack at the duo was Tim Reynolds of the Associated Press, who asked for both men's impressions on how the race could go? To which Tim replied, well obviously our situation’s a lot more straightforward then Mike’s is, to which once again caused Hull to laugh out loud. As Mike stated how he’d like to hire the person Reynolds claimed to have figured out there were 250 possibilities for winning at Homestead, but Chip’ll be there, along with his Abacus… As Hull seemingly echoed Cindric’s comments… To which Tim noted that there were other drivers in the Frey, as some would be going for their first victory of the season and for others it might be more dire. (Can you say Contract?)

I’m very proud of Ryan’s willingness to go and answer some tough questions in his own words after Motegi, of which he’s basically put into the past and has promised to give his all at Homestead. Roger’s not the type of guy to yell at you when something like that happens and our team’s silence on the matter pretty much sums up things…

Last in the queue was Gary Graves from USA Today, who seemed to ask a fairly similar question, to which both Mike & Tim methodically answered, with Cindric restating how it was pretty simple for them; as if Ryan didn’t finish ahead of the TCGR duo then he wouldn’t be Champion… But don’t forget “Hulio’s” going for fourth in the series and would still like to win. He respects the title protagonists and won’t do anything foolish; but obviously will do whatever we can to help Ryan but at the end of the day he’s still shooting for fourth.

Arni then wrapped-up the session by asking Mike if she’d told him that Dixon would be leading the Championship going into the final round at the beginning of the season, would he have believed it? To which Mike calmly replied I’d wanna know who your Crystal ball reader was…

And that concludes this teleconference

As I really enjoyed the camaraderie and respect shown between the two opposing Team Bosses, which caused me to go away thinking how pragmatic of both Chip ‘N Roger to have hired such competent team managers… As obviously this allow both Team Owners to focus upon the bigger picture, like Sponsorships, Employees, equipment, Team direction, etc.

So Thanks to Arni for letting me listen-in to the teleconference…

And don’t forget to check out the 2009 Championship Finale at Homestead on versus, unless you’re still a hapless casualty in the Direct TV/versus skirmish… As next Saturday afternoon beginning at 1PM Pacific will be your last chance to watch Bob, Robbie, Jon, Robbie Floyd 2.0, Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute and Lyndie-Car in action this year.

Also, it’ll be interesting to see how Bruce, Tim and Gary convert this teleconference into printed word for their various employers, which should appear in the near future… (Perhaps today?)

Hail-Hail the Mighty Snap-oversteer Sofa King

Not exactly sure what to say ‘bout that Mesmerizing Twin rings ‘O Motigi-land… ‘Cept, YAAAWWWNN!!! Oh lookie ‘dare, its two red carz leadin’ the parade… Somebody pours me another shot ‘O eXpresso wills yuhs…

As I swear I saw the ALL Mighty Sofa King… Tisk-Tisk Jeffie pickin’ my boy for first wall smackeroo candidate of the race, making the save of the evening… As I believe that over the din of the crowd you could hear Kosuke saying over the radio my carz rreelly-rreelly RROOSSE!!! Something ‘bout needin to tighten up the ‘Ol Sofa couch springs…

But hey Jeffie! Did you realize that Kosuke actually finished AHEAD of Ahem…? Ryan traffic cones R us Briscoe… Who gets my two thumbs up for facing not only the muzak after the race but also actively seeking out a one Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute… Who by the way, should possibly recall that Mario Moraes is pals with some Dude named Viso who happens to own a few of Jack’s favourite pets… So QUIT hammerin’ him on his Papa died and now you’re a better racer angle will yuh!

And Oh My Goodness… We can now go another year before having to watch 4.75hr marathons of the Princess winning her first race… Cue the symphonic overtones of Beethoven, or was that some sort of rhapsody? Here comes Dan-Dan-Danicker… And how come Mr. Arute didn’t interview any of the “Home Boyz?”

Although that would be priceless to actually see Dario & Scott walking into the local 7/11, (Yeah, there everywhere, SHEISA!) Scotty pickin’ the beer and Dario standin’ with him at the register to make sure Dixon took the necessary Yen outta his wallet!

Sayonara…

GO KOSUKE!

(Cooking with Danica; Source: Is it May Yet?)

Look for Dan-Dan-Danicker on “Cooking with Regis” this morning… Or is ‘dat Cookin’ with Gas? As the Princess will reveal her secret cookie recipe.
Yeah that’s right Regis, I like to start off with a pint of Worcestershire Sauce… which I like to put on my Huevos rancheros if yuhs know whats I means!
Then we’ll need a pound of lemon drops, some eel grass for decoration and don’t forget the gummy bears…

What’s that Kathy Lee? Oh, you’ll wanna stir it Round ‘N Round… Preferably to the left, unless you’re in the Orient… Then you’ll definitely wanna stir it clockwise.

What Heat do I use Kathy Lee? Well us Girls heat’s is always on Hee-Hee-Hee…After all us Go Daddy gwirls gotta sticks together…


Yeah Regis, I like to set the oven on about 165… NO, Slow ‘N Steady wins the race, Err cooks these nicely, as Y’all don’t want ‘dem Peakin’ toose early!

Then I like to cut-em’ up into little pieces or makes mine in the shapes of some TEX-ARSE Two Step Stompin’ Boots if Y’all catch my drift – Regis…

But watch out for Dan-Dan-Danica “N the Cookie Monster, will you Kosuke… (Nice job Will!)

The Danica Scandal

Yeah I know this is a tad bit optimistic… But what the HELL, eh? As I’d like to see the forlorn Kosuke Matsuura have a “Reely-Reely-Reely” BIG race, perhaps bustin’ out a Top Ten finish… Or even better yet, a Top Five or Yikes! The final Podium step, as it would be an added boost for both the previously censored Japanese driver and Conquest Racing, as Kosuke makes his Indy Car return after a two year hiatus, with Matsuura & Conquest recently testing at chicagoland to knock off the rust prior to his Twin Ring outing.

Meanwhile, very little has been said about Roger Yasukawa’s reuniting with Dreyer & Reinbold Racing for this weekend’s Twin Ring IRL outing, as I’m assuming the deal’s still on? Which would see a total of three Japanese racing drivers contesting their home event…

And although a little bit dated. (I’ll update after this weekend’s event) you may wish to read my story: Japanese Open wheel Warriors

AND DON’T FORGET!
You can catch ALL of the Twin Ring Motegi Indy Car action on Versus, with their Qualifying show at 3PM and the Race at 7:30PM, both on Friday – September 18th. (ALL TIMES PACIFIC AND ALWAYS CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS!)

DP to RASSCARLAND?

So its funny how last night after having discussed the STUPIDITY over ALL of the Princess-mania over where Dan-dan-Daniker was possibly going with Danny B and WHO GAVE A RATS ARSE!?! (Or to be NON-PC; WHO GIVES A FUCK!) It was somewhat hilarious to come across Press Dawg’s Breaking News story alerting us to the fact that Danica Patrick is seemingly headed for a career in the Roundy-Round series beginning next year, albeit she’s Rally-Rally-Rally close to signing a new dealioe with Mikey Andretti to continue on with the vaunted IRL operation also in 2010…

GASP! BE STILL MY BEATIN’ HEART!!! SAY IT AIN’T SO? I mean what will I do without NO more Princess to kick around… Oh that’s right she’ll still be the Show Pony, Err crowd darling of IndyCar, which must be somewhat shaking in its boots about potentially losing one half of its marketing machine… I mean who’s gonna be your Daddy now? (Do You mean we might be forced to see more of Milkalicious and Sarah fisher on the Telescreen?)

So why do the names Jacues Villeneuve, Patrick Carpentier, Dario Franchitti and AJ Almendinger immediately come to mind? As at last count only ‘Juan of those four is still floundering ‘bout in CUP-LAND, albeit in somewhat second tier equipment, as Almendinger’s CV is far more impressive than Danica’s.

Yeah, Sam “I AM” Hornish, Jr. is steadily making progress, but after all, he’s a three time IRL Champion, while Robby “DIRTMANN” Gordoun & Gentleman John Andretti haven’t exactly lit up the Bomber landscape… But it will be fun to see Robby throwing his helmet at Danica after they’ve rubbed noses, Err fenders all race long, eh?

And I still contend that would Danica rather be a BIG FISH in a ‘lil pond (IndyCar) or a SMALL Fish in a BIG Pond? (RASSCAR)

As I asked Danny if he thought the secret was out about saving fuel at Motegi when running 5th with 17 laps to go or will Danicker repeat her most glorious victory once again at the Twin Rings ‘O Honda?

BUTT of course Danicka’s potential move has absolutely NOTHIN’ to do with Dinero… As after all, if the “Danistar” flames out in Stockcar Land she can always come back to the IRL… But then again the Smells like Teen Spirit Cup is the perfect place for Danica… I mean HELL! Just look how long Mikey Waltrip has paraded about the High banks over there…

Then again, what’ll happen when Princess has a hissy fit and tries doin’ her patented STOMP down Pit Lane to go tangle with ‘Lil Ironhead Junior??? Whale at least she’ll be able to share her toenail polish with Scott ‘NOSE Speed, who apparently is particularly fond of the shade lavender, but will she be able to share the spotlight with Schrub?

Uhm? I’ve gotta go take a shower… As I feel really DIRTY after all of this RASSCAR Daniker ranting!

Taku ‘N the Dragons

So reportedly IRL’s Dark side ‘O written word… As Will of Is it May Yet chronicled how OWR Curmudgeon Robin Miller was Darth Vader (Otay, I made that ‘lil bit up…) and Kurt Cabin was “Obi ‘Juan Kenobi,” which makes sense since in my interview with Mr. Miller he noted how he’d been instrumental in Cabin’s hiring at the Indy Star, but I digress…

As Miller has reported that apparently Taku-San, nee Takuma Sato will make his Indy Car debut at the 2009 IRL season finale at Homestead aboard a second Luczo-Dragon Racing entry, which makes me wonder if this is being done courtesy of an unexpectedly free grand-Am pit crew that was preparing to do double duty that weekend for somebody just nicknamed “Willy-Bob.”

Of course I’m just going out on a proverbial small sized tree limb here, (guessing?) but I’m wondering if Penske Senior may indeed give Jay Penske a helping hand in the Japanese driver’s debut? As obviously part-time driver will Power won’t be participating as previously planned and I’m still not sure of the rumoured link between Sato and Gil De Ferran’s hoped for 2010 IRL team debut, which I’ve previously also spouted off about Takuma having some mystical tie to Formula Dream sponsorship which currently is being sported by Heideki Mutoh at “Mikey” Andretti’s outfit, whatever it’ll be called shortly, eh?

Of course, I’ve overlooked the possibility that “Frank the Tank” (Franck Montagny) could become a candidate for De Ferran Motorsports next year? As we all wait breathlessly for DFM’s “Rally- Rally- Rally” BIG announcement about his team’s line-up, eh? And with Scott Dixon (and Princess-URGH!) reportedly off the market, you’d think that De Ferran will have to look elsewhere for his supposed lead driver… Unless Takuma’s outing is simply a tune-up for next year at De Ferran, which raises interesting thoughts about just how well connected Mr. De Ferran is, eh? (If indeed Sato runs for LDR with roger Penske’s pit crew…) But don’t forget that one of his main cogs is the retired head of Honda’s vaunted Norte Americano operations, a one Mr. Robert Clarke and I suppose it’s possible that De Ferran could muster up his own pit crew from his ALMS squad also as an audition for next season…

So just exactly what colour are Dragons? As I’m guessing it’s NOT Pink since Sarah Fisher’s already planning to run that shade at Homestead, and don’t forget Vitor Meira’s intended comeback in Miami…

Team Who?

Not to be cornfused with Team Iannucci; as the head scribe of My Name is IRL is seemingly busy at the moment building his own IndyCar World Series entity… Err, interviewing the countless IWS drivers currently available; NOT to be mistaken with the fine folks over at De Ferran Motorsports, who as Jeffey notes; Team Boss Gil De Ferran has taken the House ‘O Winsor’s USF1 (USGPE) creative marketing technique by doing some name dropping of his own on potential Drivers of his yet completed Indy Car team…

But don’t get me wrong, I certainly admire Gil, I mean HELL! Why else would I have gotten Donald Kay of Autosport Radio to get me the 2003 Indy 500’s “John Hancock” otherwise, eh?

Thus it was somewhat surprising during the Mid-Ohio (ALMS) weekend, when the 41yr old Brazilian (De Ferran) announced his retirement from the cockpit at the end of 2009; for a second and final time… In order to devote his energies fully towards his race team, in which he’d like to see a second car added to his ALMS program along with his dream of running a two car entity in Indy Car in 2010.

So, with that stated, I for one duly hope that De Ferran’s lofty ambitions come true with the debut of a two car IRL entry next year, as there’s certainly room for some new blood to spice things up a bit, eh?

And there certainly doesn’t seem to be a lack of quality “Hotschue’s” available… As perhaps De Ferran will go for an all Royal Bleu squad of Sea Bass (Bourdais) and “Symone” Pagenaud? Or perhaps Danny Boy Wheldon, whom reportedly doesn’t feel the LUV at Panther Racing anymore; not to mention Penske’s third wheel, (Will Power) Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson or Scott Dixon? (Leggo my Dixie, sez the Cheepster!)

Or to get really far fetched, how about “Quick Nick” (Heidfeld) or Rubino? (R. Barrichello) But my money’s on either Wheldon/Power alongside Pagenaud, as we’ll see, eh? As I’d go for Power if it’s possible, although “Taku-san’s” *Takuma Sato) name keeps popping up along with Formula Dream sponsorship…

NOTE:
Whale it certainly bothers me when Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute not only picks the same driver as Mwah, but then has the audacity to try needling Gil about it on camera. And wasn’t it funny seeing Arute craning his neck skywards to talk to Justin Wilson…

Welcome Back Gil De Ferran

Mid-Ohio Scorecard

So I’m guessing everybody’s heard ‘bout all of the musical chairs having just been played over the weekend in Lexington, Ohio; but for those of you playing at home, here’s a recap plus a look at the remaining four events in this years vaunted ICS calendar; which be still Y’all beatin’ hearts… As its chock full ‘O Oval tracks:

Calendar
Aug 23: Infineon Raceway; 2.4-mile Road Course
Aug 29: Chicagoland Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sept 19: Twin Ring Motegi, Japan; 1.5-mile Oval
Oct 11: Homestead-Miami Speedway; 1.5-mile Oval

Pre-qualifying
But back to Mid-Ohio, which saw “Bad Bobby D,” that’s Robert Doornbos to uze Jeffey, (NOT Doorknobs) who apparently was irked at Graham Rahal for NOT sharing his Quarter Pounders with the Dutchman, nor being able to get the secret sauce recipe from NHLR and took the proviso in his contract to walk after twelve races… Seeing Doornbos promptly hoof it over to HVM Racing; to team with EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso, where he won two races enroute to the 2007 Champ Car rookie of the Year honours, by finishing third with two wins that season for Team Minardi USA. (One of HVM’s numerous incarnations) Bobby D will drive the No. 33 and has been inked for the remainder of ’09 thru the 2010 season.

Thus with an open seat at Newman Haas Lanigan Racing, Oriel Servia who’s currently collecting a paycheck as Tony “great Balls ‘O Fire” Kanaan’s Driver Coach, Err Consultant, was asked to keep the seat warm for The Hamburgular, a.k.a. Bourdais… But Hey! Why not Dan “Spike” Wheldon instead?

Alex Tagliani (2009 Indy 500 Rookie of the Year) decided to “Walk like an Egyptian,” taking his ice cream cone with him and left Eric Bachelart’s shoestring Conquest Racing organization in hopes of finding a full time gig in 2010… (Good luck TAG, you’ll need it!) As Bachelart has signed two Drivers for 3/4th of the remaining season, skipping this week’s contest. First up, Nelson “I’m Irish” Philippe will drive the I’m green car at the track uze Ovalhead’s affectionately chastise as “Snorhoma” and Homestead, while Kosuke “F U” Matsuura who got censored for saying FUCK on TV will drive for the first time since ’07 at Twin Ring Motegi… go Kosuke!

At Dreyer & Reinbold Racing‘s ever revolving door of Drivers, Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter was busy hawkin’ MonaVie this weekend, while Milka-licious (Duno) stayed pat for a second outing in a row as Mike Conway’s wingman, Err Wing person… (Don’t go ‘dare Danny… NO! Don’t say wing nut!) Look for Scheckter, Duno and Conway the rest of the way with the exception of Roger Yasukawa in Japan, which will make a total of three Japanese warriors circumnavigating the Twin Rings.

Sarah “Ovals R-Us” Fisher stayed home in Indiana, but will race at Chicagoland and Homestead, while Will (Feel the) Power’s Grand Am pit crew was busy in Watkins Glen, thus leaving only two Pesky Carz on the grid to play follow the leader with TCGR. Look for Will to be back at Sears Point Raceway and Homestead.

But where’s Dan-Dan-Danicker?

Over at KV Racing Technology, our fellow Kuh-Nucks were left High ‘N Dry, missing out once again on the chance to see their national hero, the pride ‘O Toronto, none other then Paul Tracy fill in for Mario M ‘N M Moraes, who was grieving the death of his father.

Team 3G, remember them? Well once again they had Richard Antinucci behind the wheel, while look for Stand-in Stanton (Barret) to race in Japan, while Jacques Lazier and Antinucci will arm wrestle over who gets the remainder of the events.

Whew! Don’t knows ‘bout Yall, but I’m tired from just reading all of ‘dat, and hopefully the action was as exciting on track when the muzac stopped… Although don’t know who got left out when the Weasel popped, eh? As Justin Wilson cracked the Top five in Friday’s practice session with Gasp! A red TCGR car fastest…

Qualifying
So add 4, subtract 5, divide by 3.27, carry the 9, Blah-blah-blah… And we find ourselves with a massive 21 cars filling this weekend’s grid at Mid-Ohio, as I eagerly awaited the soothing tones of Mike “Yippee-Kai-eh” King and Driver Analyst Davey Hamilton now that my Confuzer seems to be back to 100% strength… As today’s qualifying was split into Group 1 having eleven racers including both target/Chip Ganassi Racing entries, while Group 2 had ten cars including both Penske’s, Paul Tracy, Oriel Servia and Robert Doornbos.

Group 1
Prior to Group 1, the BIG UNIT (Wilson) gave a hint of what was to come, having been fastest in the morning’s final practice session. And don’t think the Indy Car drivers aren’t hangin’ it all out? Witness Wilson going off in turn 2 during the 20min session, enroute to grabbing P1 briefly, while with 8min left Scott Dixon is now sitting fastest. Then with 6min left Wilson throws on his first set of reds, forcing everyone’s hand while languishing in third… As the order of the Group 1 results would be: Dixon, Wilson, Dario franchitti, Graham Rahal, Hideki Mutoh and Ryan Hunter-Reay.

Group 2
Whale obviously you’d expect the two Penske cars to make it thru, while it was to be a free-for-all between Danica and the Boyz… With Gasp! Patrick making it thru, while both Tony Kanaan and EJ Viso brought out simultaneous full course Yellow flags in the dying moments of the session, which caused both drivers to lose their quickest two lap times, seeing Group 2 results as follows:Castroneves, Briscoe, Patrick, Kanaan, Tracy and Viso…

Top 12
Having begun the day on a green track after a rain shower had washed away all of the prior day’s rubber, times finally began to fall, as most amazingly Wilson and Briscoe both set identical times when breaking into the 1:06’s both tripping the electric eye with digital readouts exact to the fourth place decimal! And thus Wilson would be scored ahead of Briscoe simply by the fact that he’d set his time first… As Dario would wait until the waning moments to lift himself up by over a half second to keep his Fast Six record intact, by now having made 15 of the last 17 road/street course sessions, while ‘Ol PT was to be denied once again, albeit finishing ahead of Danica as the clock struck zero and the last six contestants standing were: Dixon, Wilson, Briscoe, Rahal, Franchitti and Hulio.

Fast Six
So once again Wilson and Briscoe were throwing down the gauntlet as the only two drivers to have saved a set of the ultra critical red rubber, while the other four contestants were stuck with scuffed red tyres… As unfortunately the “BAD Burnin’ Inferno” (Briscoe) had to go and pip my boy the BIG UNIT! As Briscoe cut a lap at 1:06.6814 vs. Wilson’s 1:06.7007 and thus the front row will mimic Watkins Glen… With Dixon third, Rahal fourth in his Home race and Hulio starting ahead of Dario on Row 3...

Race
For an actual race report, I’ll leave you to peruse the Blogosphere and read any of the fine “Vurd Botcher’s” entertaining scribblings, as mice knucel’s are plain tuckered out and I’m simply knackered from all of this typings, not to mention being GUTTED from Wilson getting “MILKA’ED!”

Oh Kentucky

O’Gara’s Irish Pub (OBD Photo)

Whale I certainly have to agree that Saturday night’s Oval race was much more entertaining to watch compared with past Oval races… Yet, you know something is WRONG with yourself when you: A) Get excited over an Oval race, and B) spend the last 20 laps of said Oval race chanting EDDIE-EDDIE-EDDIE!!! SHEISA!!!

Thus I found it most hilarious to find myself rooting for Edward "F BOMBs R US" Carpentier and Tony G's Vision Racing Team... SHEISA-SHEISA-SHEISA!!!

Yet I really wanted to see Edwardo win, which would have been the most Psychedelic result for the Indy Racing League...

Now all I wanna know is did somebody slip George a “Mickey” or what? As perhaps somebody shoulda slipped him a Frank's energy Drink before he did his big runner-up Team Boss interview... I mean have you ever seen T George smile? Yeah, I know, we'll have to wait for him to post his reaction on his Team's website, eh?

And what's with all of the smoochie-pooh... Who's paying' who? As that was a riveting post race SUCK UP with Brian "Braveheart," Err Barnhart... Whale Brian, do you think all of the new rules changes worked tonight?

Meanwhile, once again nary a peep was made about the other two women in the field: Sarah Fisher and Milka Duno… That’s right Milka-licious is back and I believe she finished ahead of her two Dreyer & Reinbold Racing teammates? (Conway & Scheckter; actually Conway was D “N R’s top Banana).

Yet, Sarah did get a momentary shout out and finished a respectable 12th with the most entertaining moment being when then race leader Will Power had to be told to move up one more pit stall as what were the odds that he’d be placed directly ahead of an almost identical yellow & black liveried Sarah Fisher Racing team’s pit box?

And speaking of Sarah, here’s a pic from Mr. CARPETS of a local Indiana “Dive” called O’Gara’s Irish Pub in Downtown Beech Grove (small town in Marion County).

Dave O’Brien:
The O'Gara's are one of the nicest families you would ever meet. John O'Gara, a.k.a. "Johnny O" was a long time chief mechanic for Menards in the IRL. (Possibly on Tony Stewart's IRL Championship winning car?). He is currently team manager for Sarah Fisher Racing. Sarah is his daughter in law. She married his son Andy who she once ran over in the pits.

O'Gara's is pretty much a "regulars" place. People and staff are very friendly. Anyone who visits Indy and stays on the Southside would enjoy themselves visiting there. Plenty of racing "stuff' on the walls along with plenty of Irish green…

And I’m guessing the Bus trip from O’Gara’s to Kentucky would be a real Hoot! Thanks Dave…

Edmonton Schnoozer

Whale I have to say in a slightly weird sorta twisted way… It’s been nice not having tuned into any Indy Car races for the past month, especially after sitting down to watch my very first ever Versus Qualifying show last weekend, since I was still awaiting the return of my Confuzer.

As GASP! Ah SHEISA! Here we go again on the Danicker Channel, as the very first advertisement outta the gate during the first commercial break was good ‘Ol Dan-Dan-Danicker who’s apparently still Peaking… Or shouldn’t that be peeking for another most heralded victory… As Princesses advert was followed by the first of many Apex Brasilia spots, followed by Danica being MAD! Whale perhaps she should be MAD seeing how that ‘lil Ol Sucar beat Company’s commercials trumped Danica 4-3 by my unofficial count during the 1hr program…

And then of course they tried oozing every last drop of controversy outta Mr. Chrome Horn and Hulio’s accidental “LUV-tapping” at Toronto. But Hey! You can never outdo PT vs. TAG in Sand Diego, or the Tracy ‘N Bourdais antics Up North, Eh?

Oh “Lyndie-Lyndie Car,” you’re so cute asking Hulio how it felt getting BOOED for the very first time in his career… (Quick! Where’s the MUTE button as Dancin’ FOOL’s silly mug fills the entire Telescreen!) Uhm, put a sock in it Twinkle-toes.

And then shockingly, Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson failed to move onto second round Qualifying; HELL! It was the very first time this season that Justin didn’t make the Fast Six on a Road/Street course, which apparently was later traced down to an errant rear wing slipping out of its perceived setting… Hmm? Perhaps this type of preparation is what makes the difference between the Penske’s and TCGR’s and the rest of the grid, eh?

Oh NO! Meesh’s boy didn’t make it into Fast Six qualifying, after having burned up both sets of Red “Option” tyre’s in order to make it thru second round Qualie session… But in the end Will Power simply kicked ARSE! As that ‘Ol Sesame Street song came to mind; “Which one of these DOESN’T look like the others.” As there count-em; three Penske’s, two Ganassi’s and Graham Rahal, the lone NON red ‘N white car in final Qualifying. Whale Ok, Power’s Pole winning car was in a very fetching Penske yellow…

But way to go Will Power; Good for you, Mate! As it was nice to see him finally win again, after having the good fortune to have briefly met him in Indianapolis… And his interview with Robin Miller was even more entertaining.

Miller: Tell us what you asked the team over the radio.
Power: (Sheepishly) I had about an 8 second lead and I wasn’t even pushing, so I asked; Do you want me to push now? Yeah, go ahead…

Is Bourdais gone from F1?

Whale hopefully this afternoon I’ll finally be able to watch the rebroadcast of this weekend’s German GP from the Vunderbar Nurburgring... As it’s been BLOODY HELL! Not being able to surf that web thingy... Listen to any Sporting News, etc while awaiting the chance to watch the latest GP, although I did take several sneak peaks around the Blogosphere; Indy Car sites only...

And thus the hot topic seemed to be The Hamburgular’s unceremonious (disposal) from Scuderia Toro Rosso after another rough outing in Der Fatherland, as multiple sites reported upon 19yr old Spaniard Jaime Alguersuari, having just been promoted to STR’s Reserve Driver status,
Making Comments to the AP claiming that Sea Bass has been dumped in favour of the Spanish teenager who’ll make his Formula 1 debut at the Hunga-Boring (Hungarian GP) race in just under a Fortnight’s time...

If this is true, then I’m not impressed in the way Red Bull made its decision to not step up to the plate and make an Official announcement. Then again, is this the workings of an over imaginative Spanish press?

Yet, if the rumours are true, which I’ve not been able to peruse the F1 landscape yet as I DON’T wanna know the races winner before watching the replay... Then speculation suggests that Bore-Dais could potentially make a return to Indy Cars, a la Dario Franchitti... Albeit to a different team? As let’s recall that The Hamburgular was up against supposedly stiff competition from “Taku” (Takuma Sato) for his seat at Toro Rosso, as Taku-san reportedly had major amounts of Yen behind him, while as far as I know Mr. Bourdais had no major sponsorship backing... Yet kept his seat in the long run; thus I personally hope that NHLR will NOT punt Bad Bobby D (Doornbos) from his seat, but instead, a very savvy Jimmy Vasser would be wise to pick up the ex-multiple Champ Car Champion who could definitely teach Mario “BUTTERFINGERS” Moraes a thing or two, eh? Or Egads! Perhaps even Bobby Rahal could resurrect his dormant IRL team? Then again Sea Bass is quite intent to win the 24 Heurs du Mans for his home based Peugeot squad, so who knows where The Hamburgular will ultimately end up at, eh?

Hmm? Could he potentially become Dan-Dan-Danicker’s replacement at AGR? Or could Gil De Ferran start an all French Indy Car team next year? You make the call...

Coyne Cashes in!

Of course thanks to my COMsPAZDICK Dig It Tull coverter box and the fact that I can now only record one channel at a time on the trusty ‘Ol School VCR of which I can still read the On Screen menu for... I was forced to choose between the Watkins Glen Indy Car race or Wind Tunnel of which I was hoping for a somewhat longer segment with Robin Miller instead of just being the last call; in regards to Tony G’s ouster... And thus of course I missed the chance to see history being made as: Little Team finally makes Good! With the never quitting Dale Coyne claiming his maiden Indy Car victory after a combined 558 starts in 25 years of CART/Champ Car and Indy Car competition... As Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson simply kicked some BLOODY ARSE! By scoring his second Indy Car victory and sixth overall Champ Car/Indy Car victory... As I’m still quite disappointed that they haven’t combined the two series statistics; albeit I suppose this didn’t occur when Championship Auto Racing Teams took over USAC’s previously held top step in Open wheel Racing, eh?

Thus as Robin Miller noted in his post race interview with Justin; He’s now won RuSport’s inaugural victory, Paul Newman’s very last win as a team owner for N/H/L/R along with garnering Dale Coyne’s debut victory in the big leagues... So Congrats to Dale coyne, Justin Wilson, Bill Papis and everybody at DCR!

Great Balls ‘O Fire

Although I cannot say that yesterday’s Milwaukee Mile Indy Car race was overly exciting, as I fell asleep halfway thru the race... Primarily tuning in to see how Mr. Chrome Horn (P. Tracy) would fair in ‘Ol Super Tex’s mount... Or could the Son ‘O Stash (G. Rahal) potentially score his first Oval Track victory? But I did find the following Q & A with defending winner Ryan Briscoe entertaining...

q) Your fiancée (ESPN'S Nicole Manske) gets paid to pay attention to NASCAR. Would we have to pay you to care about NASCAR?

A) I do pay attention to it, I think just because with Penske Racing having everything under one roof it's like we're just one big team. I see the NASCAR drivers all the time. Justin Allgaier and Kurt Busch and (Sam) Hornish, obviously. (David) Stremme. I might not sit down for the entire 17 hours of a race, but I will definitely pay attention to it.
(Source: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

To read the full story see; Getting to Know... Ryan Briscoe

And then there were 33

For the last several years it seems like its been a chore to get the requisite field of 33 starters filled for the Indy 500, yet this year’s classic actually had... Uhm? Mountains ‘N Mountains ‘O spell binding drama on “Boomp Day.” And as Y’all know by now, Alex Tagliani and Conquest Racing have bumped their second driver Bruno Junqueira outta the field, although this morning Junky was stil on the Indy Car’s starting grid internets page...

John Andretti & Ryan Hunter-Reay get Tumbled dry look

And thus, we’re now set to go racing, as the grid is full and we’re only days away from Gomer Pyle singing Back Home Again...

93rd Indy 500 Starting Grid

Bricks ‘N Mortar?

Whale its HELL trying to keep up with the Joneses, Err fellow Blogosphere contingent, eh? As the Race is on... Ladies and Gentlemen, start your Blogging!

As I’ve never heard of this happening before at the Brickyard... (Pun intended) As shouldn’t it have been EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso’s lucky No. 13 being the victim of the Speedway’s errant brick? Or did the Pink Panther strike again? Uh, do you think Pink Lloyd was humming Another Brick in the Wall while Hangin’ Ten in the Sam Schmidt Hospitality suite, eh?

And does the Speedway have to pay KVRT for its damaged race car bits or is that just part of the risks of racing at Ye ‘Ol Speedway? As you can watch the video clip at My Name is IRL’s
Another Brick in the Yard

Road course vs. Ovals
Meanwhile, trying to not be outdone by Mario “M ‘N M” Moraes, Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter who’s been playing the seat dance before finally landing in Dale Coyne’s second entry... Managed to turn onto the road course portion of the track in his very first outing this past Friday! And I’m guessing that Tomas would prefer not hearing this... BUTT! May be you recall that the son of 1979 Formula 1 World Champion for Scuderia Ferrari; (Jody Scheckter) was on the promising career path to a potential drive for the then Jaguar Racing Team in F1 before having divulged the young Messer Tomas’s petulance for “Women of the Night” and pulling a Hugh Grant while serving as the team’s Test Driver...

Tony G. goes to the Plate
And believe me folks... Y’all DON’T know how much this pains me to splat out on ze keyboards... URGH - BUTT! (Begrudgingly, Groan Groan...) Good on you Mr. George, who’s letting one of the track’s luxury suites be used to solicit funds for Paul Newman’s charities, i.e.; the Hole in the Wall Gang, with all proceeds of the $1,500 per person access fee for Carb and Race Day going towards the legendary actor’s charitable aid...

It’s over
And another riveting “Boomp Day” has come to an end, as I’ve limited myself to only 3hrs of Boob Tube/Internets listening... Gotta conserve ‘dem Flinstone Majik Rings for Race Day, eh?

Thus, in the final outcome, a total of three Car/Driver combinations were sent packing... But which three would it be as we played Three Card Monty... Although I really wanted to see Gentleman John (J. Andretti) make the show... And I still think its NUTS for BJ “Whiney-Bags” (Junqueira) to simply jump in a car on the final day, run 15 laps and then stick ‘er in the show... Aye Karumba!

Yet the following Drivers were sent packing: Barrett, Lazier and Tagliani, with NO disrespect to Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay, BUTT I was chanting at the Telescreen NO-NO-NO!!! As I thought it would be excellent to see one of ‘lil T’s cars NOT make the show... As I was really looking forward to Alex Tagliani and his King Tut car making the big dance, SHEISA! As I’d guess that Eric Bachelart’s Conquest Racing could use the $250k last place prize more then Tony G.

Yet, Stanton “I feel the NEED for Speed” Barrett and Buddy Lazier simply didn’t have the needed OOMPH! To bump their way into the 93rd I500, which as Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute eluded to when John Andretti was searching for the extra 10th of a SECOND to make the grid... The difference between Hunter-Reay and Tagliani was most likely LESS than the time it takes you to blink your eye. As it’s always amazing how four laps at 218mph+ are considered SLOW, eh?

Numerology
Whale “My Bad,” Err my mistake, as Donald Davidson pointed out during the morning one hour IMS Radio Network show, that Nelson Philippe in the number Double-Zero (#00) and NOT the No. 31 would be making history next Sunday as that number has never been used at the Speedway, although I’d hoped to have seen Milkalicious running that number when driving for Newman Haas Lanigan Racing, YIKES!

Television marathon
Nope, it’s NOT over yet... As Y’all certainly cannot say that Versus isn’t trying to inundate us with enough Indy Car TV coverage can yuhs? As they’ve rolled out four 6.5hr days of coverage the past two weekends along with an upcoming plethora of Versus specials all next week, with Ahem... Cough Cough, Some chick named Danica leading off... While the episode I’m most interested in, but won’t get to see is Friday’s episode with Super Tex, Big Al and Rocket Rick, a.k.a. the Indy 500’s only four time winners... Since thanks to Comcast I can only record one channel at a time on my ‘Ol School VCR... As should I tape Marty Reid & Co. on Race Day, or skip Bret Muss-berger’s highly agitating pre-race follies; Hmm? As it’ll seem strange to not be listening to the Versus gang, eh?

And don’t forget to watch Sarah Fisher tomorrow night on The Daily show with John Stewart. (Sorry Danicker but I’ll be busy watchin’ Sarah instead!)

Yet, As ALWAYS! Check your local listings for TV times...

Now somebody pass me a Cold 'Juan, eh?

So who’ll make the cut this weekend?

As many of you already know, this is the final weekend of qualifying for this year’s upcoming Indy 500 as several competitor’s attempt to make the starting grid for the 93rd Indy 500 or “I500” as Matt likes to call it.

Thus by my very non-scientific assessment, there’s A Baker’s Dozen of Car/Driver combinations planning to take their respective shots in the I500 lottery, which could lead to another tepid “Boomp Day?” (Hmm? Where’s Tony Stewart and ‘Ol Super Tex when yoose needs ‘dem, eh?) As Dreyer & Reinbold Racing attempts to get 75% of their entries qualified, while Davey Hamilton currently has the slowest speed. HVM will seek to get both of its single car entries, sans Back-up’s into the show, along with N/H/L/R eager to get Rookie Robert Doornbos qualified.

Meanwhile RLR has just announced a “One-off” for Indy with Oriel Servia at the keyboard and I’m not certain what’s going on with Stanton “I feel the Need for Speed!” Barrett, whom I’m assuming will take up Marty Roth’s tail ender position and fail to qualify for Indy..., While Alex Tagliani will most likely have a new teammate named Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter at Indy? And scratch Darren “Dangermouse” Manning who will be at Laguna Seca racing Sports Cars this weekend. Hence I’ve come up with the following list... Thanks to Matt “Cham-wow” Chamois of The Other Side for doing The initial “Heavy Lifting,” since I borrowed extensively from his 93rd I500 Entry list...

NOTE:
And perhaps it’s just me? But I’ve never had so much trouble trying to locate the “Offical” IMS Indy 500 Entry list... After having stumbled upon it by shear accident yesterday when finding the Shuttle info while searching for Robin Miller’s favourite Fish wrap... Indy Star’s At the Track Blog; go Figure? I managed to “Boomp” onto the Entry list which of course was in PDF file format which is NOT compatible with my screen reader... URGH!!! So good FREAKIN’ luck! As it’ll all be academic after this weekend, eh?

Original Entry List

UPDATE:

Matt has just informed me that apparently Bruno Junqueira is set to fill in at Conquest Racing. As the clock ticks away...

Potential Second Week Qualifiers
(Car #, Driver, Team)
#8 Townsend Bell – KV Racing Technology
#13 E.J. Viso - HVM Racing
#17 Oriol Servia - Rahal Letterman Racing
#19 Tomas Scheckter - Dale Coyne Racing
#21 Ryan Hunter-Reay - Vision Racing
#23 Milka Duno - Dreyer & Reinbold Racing
#24 Mike Conway - Dreyer & Reinbold Racing
#34 Alex Tagliani - Conquest Racing

#36 Bruno Junqueira - Conquest Racing
#43 John Andretti – R.P.M./ Dreyer & Reinbold Racing
#91 Buddy Lazier - Hemelgarn Racing
#98 Stanton Barrett - Team 3G
#00 Nelson Philippe - HVM Racing

#06 Robert Doornbos - Newman/Haas/Lanigan Racing

Castroneves steals the Pole

Whale I think Versus is still the Danicker Channel, although I got really BORED with the made for TV Hulio LUV-fest... Even going so far as to having Mr. BRUT Arute Arute call his sister in San Paolo, Brazil on Mum’s Day; Aw Shucks! But inquiring minds wanna know, where’s Danicker... While I’m wondering who’ll be filing Hulio’s W-2 after winning the Pole... (Ah C’mon, you knew it was coming!)

So, I spent way too much time bouncing back ‘N forth between the IMS Radio Network’s coverage in the morning before tuning into Versus full day coverage, which was left on as background noise while filtering about doing some Domestic duties... But I’d have to say the TV broadcast was pretty good overall, as I’m even starting to warm up to “Screech,” a.k.a. Robbie Buhl, who certainly had a tough day at the track with Milka Duno being bumped and two mangled racing cars as both Mike Conway and John Andretti ended up hard against the wall, while Davey Hamilton is currently the slowest car in the field. Not to mention the oldest driver of which one of the IMS Radio Network’s Kevin “Twins” asked him about...

And wasn’t that an amazing save by the Son ‘O Stash, spinning his way out of colliding with Gentleman John’s (J. Andretti) stricken racecar veering into his projected path of travel. As I’d have expected a change ‘O shorts were in order for Messer Rahal! But perhaps that’s the beauty of being young ‘N brave, eh?

And it became quite the running joke as the closing gun approached on Pole Day, as Bob Jenkins kept saying Paul Tracy’s been bumped out of the field, but now he’s back in again, as car after car withdrew its previous qualification in order to go for a faster time, as I was unaware that your qualifying position determines your pit stall selection on race day...

Thus ‘Ol PT was bounced at least four times, with his dancin’ pardner Hideki Mutoh alongside, who got bumped out in the final minutes by Alex “Pink” Lloyd, while I find it very impressive the amount of Sportsmanship shown both days by teams pulling out of line in order to let a potential qualifier beat the dreaded shot of the day’s ending pistola, with both Justin Wilson and Scott sharp beating the gun by mere seconds.

And I have to say that has to be the wackiest Pole Day I can recall, with two cars being “DQ’ed,” along with the day’s first qualifier stalling twice while leaving pit lane, not to mention the 6-7 qualification runs withdrawn and two cars smacking the Safer Barrier... As it was the BIG UNIT (J. Wilson) stalling on his way out before being the day’s first disqualification for some lead buckshot not being secured inside of the cockpit in its required location, while Rahal’s chassis was pulled due to something not being quite right for running 500 miles, since you’ve gotta run what you used in qualifying...

Yet the new format which Robin Miller rightly calls a joke; with twelve total qualifying attempts versus three certainly produced the dizzying carnival, circus-like drama the Speedway and versus were hoping for, eh?

And wasn’t that entertaining when Lyndie-car interviewed the Princess after her qualifying attempt, as I find it interesting just how far outta their way the IMS and Versus go to give Danica Face-time! (Although I’ll take Lyndie-Lyndie in the Cat Fight; MM-MEOW!) As I find it a bit disparaging how for instance, the IMS Radio Network covered the two warm-up laps plus all four of Danicker’s qualifying attempt without interruption, while they only covered about half of Sarah fisher’s run and Milka Duno’s attempt got bumped by a commercial break... Yet Mike King said; let’s get the commercial break outta the way so we don’t interrupt our driver analyst Davey Hamilton’s run...

While the best two quips of the weekend were the comment about Tony Kanaan’s wallet weighing more then the 1/8th pound underweight his car was, while teammate Mutoh responded when asked if he gave names to his cars that the one Kanaan was driving was called Ex-Girlfriend...

And I really think Tony g. needs to break out his wallet and hire some more Engineering talent, as “The IZOD Dude” (Ryan Hunter-Reay) seemed completely shell shocked over his lack of speed when Jack Arute quizzed him on not being able to stick it in the Top 22, with Hunter-Reay simply saying I DON’T KNOW! As if the IZOD sponsorship deal really is as big as its made out to be, you’d think Mr. George ‘N Co. would want the car a little further up the order...

While apparently Mr. Chrome Horn has been taking sponsor plugging lessons from the Target Boyz, as he said the word Geico at least five times during the second day post qualifying wrap-up.

As I found it most impressive how Scotty “Take a Bottle down, pass it around” Sharp managed to knock out EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso outta the Top 22 with the most impressive help of Brian I.H.J. Braveheart and Viso, Fisher and Hamilton all making way for him to get onto track in the nick ‘O time... As I really liked EJ’s demeanor after getting bumped; it’s Ok, we’ve got next week...

As I find it a tad bit ironic that the Spanish Grand Prix managed to get bumped in my Telescreen viewing rotation in favour of the Indy 500, since now we’re into the second week programs, searching for another eleven drivers to make the field for the 93rd running of the Indy 500, as I’ll try to catch my breath and see if “JENSE blitzes the field once again in Barcelona, while both Will of Is it May Yet? And James of 16th and Georgetown have been providing excellent photographic coverage of the first weekend onsite at Indy...

Live from Indy, NOT!

Robert Doornbos; ’09 IRL Spring Training (Indy Car.com)

Nope, not there yet... But James of 16th and Georgetown is “In the House...” (Or is ‘dat “Hizzy” as pressdog would say?) The Grandstands, Gasoline Alley, Pit Row, IMS Gift Shop (May be Not?) Tenderloin Sandwiches line and the somewhat dated Men’s washrooms... (According to Jeffrey) And Oh Yeah! Did I mention that James is posting a veritable Boatload of live shots along with constant updates? And soon will be joined onsite by Will of Is it May yet? (Sorry for leaving any other fellow Bloggers onsite at IMS outta this post...) Check out James Day 1 pic’s at: ROP Day 1 Wrap-Up

And for all of uze Twitter-holics, James has also posted a list of choices available from the Blogosphere, which I believe was originally derived from IndyCar.com, which has all of your live Timing & Scoring and On Track action, including the Green flag being dropped on the entire field in just hours...

IMS Recognizes Bloggers

And lastly, yesterday’s Quote of the Day came from “The Flying Dutchman,” a.k.a. Two time Indy 500 winner Arie Luyendyk whose shepparding Bad Bobby D thru his Oval Track adventures:

Both are fluent in Dutch. But the only time we use it is on the radio when we're talking about the engineers," Luyendyk joked.
(Indystar.com)

Meanwhile I’m hoping that TAG (Alex Tagliani) WON’T be Walking like an Egyptian this Month ‘O May, eh? )Sheez! Y’all knew that was coming, eh?)

Milka makes 3

Whale I tells yuhs all... The IMS Radio Network really kracks me up... As the recorded loop informed us that the Indy Car Qualifications from Kansas Speedway would begin at the top of the hour... (Really? NO Kidding?) And then of course my win-DOUGHS media player went blank!

After re-logging in I got to hear my favourite “Hoosieronian” stating
“We’ve been informed that the Craftsman Truck Qualifying has run long. There’s been an incident on track with the Craftsman Trucks and they’re busy cleaning up debris and some oil on track...” (Which apparently led to the slight IMS Radio Network Brown-out?)

Uhm? Excuse me Mister Announcer... As I do indeed find it hilarious that you’re callin’ it the Craftsman Trucks since it pains me to know that its now uh-hum, the Camping World Series...

And good for you Mike “yippee Aye Kay” King coming on 20min later spewing venom on the BONEHEAD! Who laid down oil on track for a SENSELESS 35+ minute clean-up! As Davey Hamilton claimed the Pickem-Up Truck went onto track smokin’ before goin’ KABLAMOE in Turn 1. And then as Mr. King duly pointed out the Rocket Scientist behind the wheel proceeded to drive an entire lap around the track upon the racin’ line... Yo Bubbah, pull ‘dat F%%KING Pickem-Up Truck the HELL offa duh race track, yuh hear?

Thus Indy Car Qualifying didn’t begin until 12:40PM... Forty minutes LATE and I PITY THE FOOL! Who has to go explain to Brian I.H.J. Braveheart why the Pickem-Up Driver did NOT have a Brain! But I digress, as after all the Indy Cars managed to get everyone qualified without incident... As poetic justice intervened as the Trucks race would be curtailed early due to rain prior to the Thunderstorms and Tornado warnings... And its supposedly gonna rain Monday when they resume action...

Yet, who’d uh thunk it? An all Newman Haas Lanigan Racing front row as the very final qualifier Graham “Quarter Pounder” Rahal blistered the track for four laps, enroute to being the only driver to top 211mph... Hey at least I didn’t call him Ronald McDonald like Mr. Pit Stra-teeg-ist BRUT Arute-Arute did, eh?

And HE-Double L... Even Milkalicious out qualified R.E.O. Speedwagon & Hulio... Ok, heck all three females: Princess (3rd – YIKES!) Sarah Fisher (P11) and Milka Duno (P12) started ahead of Franchitti and Castroneves; along with the entire field, as the two drivers were deemed to have dipped below the white line on their runs... Hmm? Hasn’t Hulio done that before?

This in turn elevated Bad Bobby D, a.k.a. Robert Doornbos to second on his very first Oval Track escapade and hence, the NHLR front row lock-out which mimics the Toyota’s for the weekend’s F1 race in Bahrain, albeit the first time for NHLR and the last time Newman Haas Racing did that was way back in 1993 at Michigan with Nigel Mansell and Mario Andretti...

And I found it a bit gory to hear Davey Hamilton’s explanation over EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso’s recent surgery, since the Venezuelan is apparently TOO PUMPED UP? And has had slits cut into his muscles to prevent his hands from falling asleep when his biceps become over-inflated... As Hamilton tried to explain that it’s a Motor-Crosser thingy where your arms get too pumped up and the blood loss makes your hands go asleep which probably AIN’T a good thing when you’re zoomin’ around at 210+ mph, eh? But it still sounds freaky... And late off of the newswires was the fact that EJ’s number thirteen wasn’t so lucky as his car was sent to the very back end of the grid for an undisclosed Technical infraction...

Thus Sunday arrived with the winds ablowin... As I settled in to watch my second Versus telecast... Of which soon became overly annoying... As I’m gonna rename it the Danicker Channel... I mean C’mon! Thank Goodness I wasn’t playin’ one ‘O ‘dem College drinking games where uze haveda swig, Hic... a shot ‘O Jaggermeister every time there’s a commercial with the Princess in it, Hic.

And without digressing into the whole Oval versus Road Courses theme, YAWN! Scott Dixon won another race as it settled into a predictable thrash upon the Big Three cheeses, i.e.; AGR, Penske and Target/Chip Ganassi... As Uhm? How many times can Dario & Scott weave the word Target into an interview, eh? As I was almost unawares of whose ‘dey drive-em for...

And I found it a bit disparaging that Milka got absolutely NO mention on the telecast other then when she was being passed and it wasn’t until lap 145 that Sarah Fisher got a shout out, but where’s Danica? As we’ve seemingly fallen straight back into the Danicker ‘N Hulio Show... Which should make the monstrous INDY 500 coverage a hoot, eh? And notice I’m NOT sayin’ a thing about the hour long SNORE pre-race show... As it seems a bit funny that Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay doesn’t get some face time with the usual suspects, eh?

Now do you think anybody can beat the top three Bananas at Indy this year? As I’d thoroughly enjoy seeing Doornbos pull a rabbit outta his hat!

Long Beach Triple Header

Whale there really doesn’t seem like too much I can add to the plethora of race coverage for the Long Beach GP, as both My Name is IRL and So Here’s what I’m thinking had “Live” Race Blogs, not to mention IRLBlog.com’s live reader interactive session...

And it was funny for Mwah to be rooting for a Penske... Albeit the No. 12 Can you hear me now? Phone giant speciale... As I thought it would be fantastic to see Will Power steal back some of Hulio’s thunder this weekend... As he’d once again spoiled Paul Tracy’s festivities... Hello? Hello? Is this thingy on? Where’d everybody go? But I’m gonna be racing the Gecko at Indy this May...

But could we please QUIT these shenanigan’s over ‘Ol PT NOT driving at Toronto & Edmonton... Are they really gonna be that STUPID!?!

And I found it quite amusing how Jon Beekhuis and Robbie “I picked Dario” Buhl don’t seem to let Bob Jenkins talk a whole lot during the race...

Being even more bummed to see Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson get hammered outta the race... And thus while wanting Power to pass Mr. REO Speedwagon... It soon became evident that Dario Franchitti would indeed give his wife Mrs. Ashley a very nice Birthday present indeed, while the Speed Freaks made a deal with Dario that “The Sarge” would shave his head if Franchitti could make it rain again, win the race and have his wife skipping down Indy’s pit lane in the rain this May...

And better yet; will the Captain stick to his guns and keep Power out of Kansas this coming weekend as the Aussie is the highest placed Penske driver in the Championship...

And speaking of “BIG UNIT’s,” as in Justin Wilson... According to Arie Luyendyk Junior, whose reportedly 6’ 2,” he was marveling on over how in the HE-LL did Justin get his lanky frame inside the cockpit and the fact that his younger brother Stefan who drove in the Firestone Indy Lights race that Mr. Long Beach gave away the winner to during his firestorm reporting sessions this weekend... Is reportedly even taller then Justin at 6’ 5”!

And although I wasn’t amused by the 15min stall session the Speed Freaks made us endure while picking upon David Brabham’s last name... As apparently The Sarge isn’t aware of the fact that David’s father; triple F1 World Champion Sir Jack’s nickname is Black Jack and probably could kick his ASS at this moment, eh?

Thus the non-humorous segway continued on while waiting for Scott Sharp, Brabham and Patron Tequila Girls entourage to arrive at their studio. As it was entertaining to hear that apparently there was a mistake made in the 20-25 second penalty given to the team for apparent pit crew safety equipment violation... Dropping the Highcroft/Patron Acura LMP1 racecar from the race lead, as Sharp claims that after the incident a senior ALMS pit tech said that their crew member wasn’t in violation... Although I doubt that Gil De Ferran and Simon Pagenaud will be stripped of the teams win in the Saturday ALMS race that ended early due to Boris Said catching his GT2 Corvette on fire...

And I find Dario to be extremely entertaining to listen to... As he nailed Kenny Sergeant over Mel Gibson not being a Scot! Along with making some clamour ‘bout Tony Kanaan modifying his bet which you can check out in his Speed freaks interview...

Franchitti on Mullets ‘N Stuff

And Oh Yeah! I forgot that ‘Lil Al won the Toyota Celebrity race along with Keanu “Surfs Up Dude!” Reeves this weekend...

Clover pennies

Something ‘bout the Tax Man comes to mind today... Ah, where’s George Harrison when yuhs needs him, eh? As there’s NO Tea Bagging going on here! Especially since Urban Dictionary paints a different view of the terminology, eh?


They brainwashed my great uncleBrainwashed my cousin BobThey even got my grandma when she wasworking for the mobBrainwash you while you're sleepingWhile you're in a traffic jamBrainwash you while you're weepingWhile still a baby in your pramBrainwashed by the MilitaryBrainwashed under duressBrainwashed by the mediaYou're brainwashed by the pressBrainwashed by computerBrainwashed by mobile phonesBrainwashed by the satelliteBrainwashed to the bone
Brainwashed; Lyrics and song by George Harrison

And speaking of Brainwashing, Err Courtroom Hi-jinx, I find it rich that the lawyer representing Ferrari in Diffuser-Gate accused Ross Brawn of being Arrogant... Something about the kettle calling the pot black, eh? As fortunately the FIA has ruled in favour of the Diffuser teams Brawn, Toyota and Williams by deeming their “Double Decker” Diffusers to be legal and discarding the arguments and appeals filed by Ferrari, Renault, Red bull and BMW Sauber... And thus, I’m assuming that the said teams above plus the remaining non “Double Stuff” Diffuser teams will commence obligatory hashing about of rear Diffuser appendages toot sweet! And perhaps even some of the “Big Four” teams may fly in upgrade kits this weekend in Shanghai? As the ruling means that JENSE’ keeps his two victories and his points lead in the F1 World Championship, while Brawn GP has done the unthinkable and won the first two Grand Prix’s in a row by a new team since the inception of the modern day Formula 1 Championship when Alfa romeo did likewise in 1950.

Next up is the deliverance of McLaren’s radio follies... In which I believe that the team and Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton should be thrown out of a said minimum of races for their ludicrous transgressions... I mean C’mon, wouldn’t the FIA, Max ‘N Bernie throw the book at Herr Schumacher?

Meanwhile in Key Biscayne, Err Miami Florida, where I’m told that its hard to get a sun tan whilst trolling the hallways of Federal Courtrooms, the Hulio jury has asked for further clarification upon tax codes from the Judge as well as transcripts of certain Tax professionals as its deliberations continue on as Y’all await anxiously the outcome of Hulio’s latest Dancin’ contest. As I’d assume he’ll not be taking part in this weekend’s Long Beach Grand Prix, which like Jeffrey... You really should tell your neighbors to give Versus and Indy Cars a try this weekend, eh?

Graham Rahal Roaring to go racing

Thanks to Versus, recently I had the unique opportunity of conversing with Indy Car pilot Graham Rahal, along with fellow Bloggers Chris “CHiPs” Estrada (Indy Racing Revolution) and Will (Is it May Yet?) to name just a few...

You may know by now? That the young Messer Rahal, whom has recently turned a whopping 20yrs old and is affectionately known as the “Son ‘O Stash,” which I’m told that just like Punxsutawney Phil, only comes out once a year... As you may wish to see the great rendering Will rolled out recently...

It only happens once a Year

And Graham was his usual outgoing self and a pleasure to talk to... Even if I was a bit unsure of what to exactly ask him, since it’s certainly NOT something I get to do on a daily basis, as the very last driver I spoke to briefly was Darren Manning at McGilvrey’s in Speedway, IN back in July, 2007.

To listen to the Podcast, click here

St Pete Entry list

Whale its finally here, as this weekend will see the Indy Car’s finally roar back into action after the exceedingly long winter break has passed... Look for 22 cars to take the green flag on Sunday. You can check out Jeff of My Name is Champ Car, (How many of yuh noticed that yesterday?) Err, IRL entry list for all of the drivers racing this weekend, although Darren Manning was confirmed yesterday as the driver of the No. 23 Dreyer & Reinbold Racing entry, thus swelling the car count to 22, while there’ll potentially be a few more at Long Beach...

St. Pete Entry list - Headcount

Hanging with the big Dawgs

Whale that was very COOL! As an Indy Car “Cub Reporter,” nee Blog Vurd Botcherer, I got to listen to my very first live Indy Car Teleconference ever via the telephone today courtesy of Mr. Arni of the IRL. With three of Andretti Green Racing’s big guns: Michael Andretti, Tony Kanaan and Marco Andretti fielding questions from various press members.

Of course it probably helps if you dial the right FLIPPIN’ telephone number, eh? As I was furiously trying to figure this out and ended up missing the first seven plus minutes...

But suddenly there was the Boss “Mikey’s” voice booming into my ear... And I got to hear the majority of the teleconference... As I found it most comical to hear some of the usual questions, like from a Canadian press member: Asking Michael how the Danica to F1 rumours would affect the team this season? To which Michael said; well I think every year we have some sort of distraction going on... I don’t think it’ll be an issue, as we know Danica pretty well and I don’t expect it to be a problem.

Then from the same press member from Up North Eh? Michael, what do you think about the new F1 wins formula? To which Michael said Huh? Of which would have only been better if he’d said eh? But even after having the question posed multiple times Michael still didn’t know what he was asking. So Tony Kanaan broke in and explained the new policy just created for this year’s Formula 1 Championship by explaining that whoever gets the most wins – wins the title. Michael paused and said he didn’t think he necessarily agreed with that as it should be whoever is the most consistent over the season... But I would have probably won a lot more Championships if we’d had that...

Marco Andretti, how does driving in the A1GP help your Oval racing? Marco, any driving is good driving... (As in seat time is always valuable). And what do you think about having J.R. Hildebrand as your teammate down the road... To which Marco seemingly said the obligatory answer of I’m sure he’d be a good fit, blah-blah-blah.

The only questions I heard posed to Tony Kanaan were about this year’s competition to which Tony said; I know we say it every year, but I think the competition will be even tougher this year... You’ve still got 22-23 cars and a lot of veteran drivers and good teams, so it’ll be tough... Of course hopefully we (AGR) can get ahead early before everyone else is up to speed, but we’ve also made changes within the team, so we’ll see...

To which came the funniest response to krack IndyStar reporter Kurt Cavin’s question. Michael how did you get dragged into being Danica’s fulltime radio person and will it be tough for you?

Michael: Peer Pressure! Even though I said I’d never cave into peer pressure, as after all its one more job. And it’s tough, as I was watching all four cars at the Homestead test and said OH SHIT! I’m supposed to be watching Danica... But I think I’ll be able to help her out this year and it’s a good move over all for our team... Even though it’s one more job!

Michael commented how he thought that 2010 would actually be the worst year of the current economic crisis... As in you’ve got multiple sponsorships coming up for renewal... (Like Motorola, which may balk at another 3yr $21 million deal!) But winning will ultimately help take care of that and I hope we can win some more races this year...

Michael also commented how he was very impressed with AFS Racing/Andretti Green Racing new Firestone Indy Lights recruit J.R. Hildebrand, saying how he’s already been doing the Rookie sessions in A1GP this year and he thinks he’s definitely a contender for FIL Champion this year.

Michael; with four full time Indy Cars, a FIL program and promotion of two separate events do you have any spare time and if so what do you do with it? To which Mikey said; as a promotion company you’re always looking around to see if some new opportunity arises and if it’s financially rewarding...

To which I immediately wanted to blurt out: Like oh I don’t know... Hey how ‘bout Andretti Green Promotions tackling returning Portland to the Indy Car Series, eh? Yeah I know we get versus here, but Canada may have three races in the future? And the closest the series comes to the Pacific Northwest is California...

And that concludes this Teleconference, of which a digital recording will be available one hour after... You may now disconnect from this teleconference as the line went blank...

Kudos Arni!

AGR Teleconference Transcript

IRL roars to life

Whale sorta, somewhat sedated... As you’ve probably heard that Tony G. ain’t throwin’ out any free Tenderloin Sandwiches, Err free Support the Indy Car’s slush fund this year, as ‘lil T could be heard all the way down pit lane bellyaching ‘bout NOT getting’ NOSE (IRL) Stimulus package...

But, you’ve gotta wonder just how tough times really are when Mr. George is unwilling to dig into his piggybank in order to fund a second car on his racing team, as I’m now guessing’ that he’s back off of Quattro’s wedding invitee’s list, eh? (Or is he simply keeping the seat open for a limited campaign with PT? Mmm! Fresh... Can you say FREE Subway sandwiches?)

Yet as one media member noted, its been 170 days since Chicagoland and the roar of Honda Indy lumps, as there were indeed several ICS teams on hand to take part in the ’09 season testing kick-off, as much buzz was centered upon NOT Danica... But when Newman Haas lanigan’s three trailer armada would roll out a race car with Milka duno behind the wheel of the No. 23 CITGO/Artic Ice Dallara; although I still think the choice of #00 is much better... As it fits the NHLR RASSCAR Double ought theme, eh? Does this mean that Robert Doornbos will now become Buckshot Bobby?

And I’m going’ out on a limb here... As I’ve heard that “Marky-Mark,” a.k.a. Marco andretti’s new “Associate” sponsor will be Almond Joy: Because sometime’s you feels like a Nut; sometimes uze Don’t! (Rim shot please...)

Back to the on track testing... As this typical Hard Hitting report from the IndyStar.com is chock full of information. (NOT!)

Briscoe leads 2nd day of testing
Ryan Briscoe led the way Wednesday night at Homestead-Miami Speedway as the Indy Car Series concluded its first open test of the season.
His lap of 212.156 mph was the fastest of the two-day event at the track that will host the season's final race on Oct. 10. The season begins April 5 on a street course in St. Petersburg, Fla.
YOU’RE ADVERTISEMENT HERE!

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YOU’RE ADVERTISEMENT HERE!

There were no accidents either day. Wednesday's top five included Scott Dixon, Marco Andretti, Tony Kanaan and Mario Moraes. (See times on page B7.)

Now there’s only a few issues with this article... first of all it wasn’t available on the day it claims it was posted; not to mention the gauntlet of commercials one has to navigate thru to get the news blurb, including the intrusive advertisement when you first log onto there website... Along with having to plug in your personal data to read the story; and finally, how do we get to page B7 of an online story? Ah! Welcome to the shrinking world of REAL Newspapers! But I digress...

Yet, as the Blogosphere has already dissected the two days of Homestead testing, I thought I’d throw out the following observations:

Graham Rahal & Robert Doornbos have apparently switch Car numbers for the ’09 season? As Rahal was in #02, while Doornbos was piloting the #06, with his swooshy sponsorship “Deckal’s” affixed to the sidepods.

And although Justin Wilson languished near the bottom of the time sheets, I for one am extremely happy just to see that he’ll have a full time ride this season and thus, I’m certain he’ll move up the ladder once the racing season commences. I mean, HELL! If you’re wunderin’ just how hard it is to adapt to a new team, machinery, etc. take a look at the RASSCAR pilot named Stanton Barrett, eh?

DAMN! I sure miss the smell of Methanol in the morning!

Role reversal?

Whale this morning us Sleepless Seattleite’s awoke to the sight of GASP! SNOW... As it was a frigid 31deg f with light snow falling, snow flurries today and a balmy high of 42f forecasted. Meanwhile in Tony g’s backyard it was 47deg f with light fog and a 37 degree (Low) and 55 (High) forecasted with rain... Hmm? That weather forecast seems a bit backwards to me.

And speaking of role reversals, the second and final day of testing at Homestead saw Ryan Briscoe in his No. 6 Penske supplant Scott Dixon’s No. 9 Ganassi at the top of the time sheets, with Marco Andretti aboard his No. 26 AGR racecar taking the tests final podium slot. Thus, while awaiting the snow to dissipate... For more test speeds check out 16th and Georgetown’s report; and notice whose numbers 16-17 respectively. Although I don’t believe there was any towel throwing, glove slapping, Chihuahua yapping or Pit lane stomping occurring, eh? As after all this was just a test session for Milka and thus the No. 23 NHLR Hand Towels could not be officially debuted...

Homestead Test Breakdown

Duno ‘N the Crashers

Whale, apparently once again I’m behind on ALL ‘O le internets rumour-thon’s in regards to who’s going’ where, etc. As I’ve just learned that Danny B’s favourite driver Milka-duh-licious... (Milka Duno) is shopping for a ride with Egads! Newman Haas Lanigan... Err, this just in; Breaking News! Duno will partner with Mario “m ‘N m” Moraes, as the KV Racing Technology team will now be fondly known as the Melts in your Hands team, with Mr. Chrome Horn, a.k.a Paul Tracy fillin’ in during the month ‘O May... So that’ll be three, count-em three large M’s at the revamped MMM Motorsports... As in Milka, m ‘N m and Monster!

(NAH! Just Joshin’ Y’all!)

Yet, I recently commented to one esteemed scribe Up North, Eh? As a long time CART/Champ Car fan... I’d say for the final four years of the series lamented fate (2003-07) I fondly referred to the off, nee pre-season: As duh Chump Carzs Vurld Turns... As we’d routinely go up to the very week of the season opener without knowing who’d be making the race or how many teams/drivers would participate. I mean Crikey’s mates... Can you count how many cars look the same as last year’s?

And although the Champ Car World Series (CCWS) was contractually obligated to running 18 cars per race, I seem to recall that the final season’s tally slipped to only 17, with a low of a paltry 15 chassis taking the grid once...

And thus, I suppose it was destined to happen, as there’s this ‘lil economy thingy goin’ on right now...

So be it, if NHL has to take on Mrs. Citgo... Who knows, perhaps DanDan-Danicker can use those towels? After all I hear she’s now takin’ 5 showers a day! Yet does this mean that the sky is falling if one of Open Wheel Racing’s most storied teams decides to gravitate towards Venezuelan dinero? Although I still think it STINKS that Indy Car winners like Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson and Ryan “the Dude” Hunter-Reay cannot land a ride, while “Suitcase” Servia will hopefully unpack his highly used helmet bag and end up somewhere in the Indy Car World Series...

And why in the H-E Double Hockey Sticks AIN’T NOBODY HAMMERIN’ Tony George who has NOT ponied-up to hire “Quattro” (AJ Foyt IV) back for the upcoming season? Hmm? Wonder if that means Quattro will leave ‘lil Napoleon OFF of his wedding guests list, eh?

Like Eric Bachelart recently said, we’ll see what happens by Homestead... And then wait for the other shoe to drop as I hear there’s still gonna be a race at St. Pete on April 5th!

2009 IRL car count
This is by NO means a confirmed grid... Just my best guess NON-Scientific attempt at trying to figure out how many cars will really be racing this season? As Brian Braveheart claims he expects to see 22-24 entries for the season opener in Florida...

Committed:
(1) AJ foyt enterprises
#14 Vitor Meira

(4) Andretti Green Racing
#7 Danica Patrick; #11 Tony Kanaan; #26 Marco Andretti; #27 Hideki Mutoh

(1) Dreyer & Reinbold

#15 R-Mike Conway; #23 TBA

(1) Sarah Fisher Racing

#67 Sarah Fisher

(1) HVM Racing

#33 EJ (Ernesto) Viso; #XX TBA

(1) KV Racing Technology

#5 Mario Moraes; #8 TBA

(1) Luczo Dragon Racing

#12 R-Rafael Matos

(3) Newman/Haas/Lanigan Racing

#02 R-Robert Doornbos; #06 Graham Rahal; #00(?) Milka Duno

(1) Panther Racing

#4 Dan Wheldon

(2) Target Chip Ganassi Racing

#9 Scott Dixon; #10 Dario Franchitti

(2) Team Penske

#3 Will Power/Helio Castroneves; #6 Ryan Briscoe

(1) Team 3G
#XX R-Stanton Barrett

(1) Vision Racing

#2 TBA; #20 Ed Carpenter


Probable:
(2) Dale Coyne Racing
#18 Bruno Junqueira; #19 TBA

(1) PCM/Rubycon Racing
Xx. Buddy Rice


Unknown:
(2?) Conquest Racing
#34 Alex Tagliani; #36 Enrique Bernoldi

(?) Philippe Motorsports (Ex-Roth Racing team)
#XX Nelson Philippe; #TBA?

NOT Happening:
(1) Rahal Letterman Racing
Although the team may make a token appearance at this year’s Indy 500?

Thus upon lookin’ into my crystal ball and using my Kal-cue-lator... My math shows a total of 18 “Confirmed” entries for St. Pete, as I’ve left out Sarah Fisher and Milka Duno for the time being... While there’s a total of five “Probable’s” and two most Unlikely entrants...

Sheila’s

Well you certainly have to laugh over “Press Dawg’s” scandalous scribblings regarding how the biggest disappointment of the Champ Car circuses demise has to be the scantily clad grid girls Down Under;

pressdog;
“A national poll recently found that 87% of former Champ Car fans (an estimated 1729 people) listed "the loss of grid girls" as the most painful part of Champ Car's demise.”

AYE KARUMBA! OUCH!

And this news follows on the heels of Premier Anna Bligh’s hard-line stance upon the longstanding tradition of nude Sheila’s being spotted up ‘N down the entire Gold coast during the Champ Car (Indy Car) weekend, as apparently Mrs. Bligh doesn’t think this bodes well in taste for what she’s trying to turn into a family weekend outing. Even going so far as to claim that tourists don’t find the sporting of the sans clothes Sheila’s easy on the eyes and has asked the Queensland Government to issue stern warnings of possible arrest to the would be sunbathing Hooligan’s...

So, somebody better make sure that Princess get’s the memo, eh?

Surfers Makes its Case Based on Hotness

Gold Coast airlift

With this year’s unification, come the headaches of extra logistics as the usual cargo of 18 race entrants has mushroomed to 24 competitors for this weekend’s Nikon 300 Indy Car Festival of Speed Down Under.

Thus it was interesting to recently read that Indy Car sent approximately 500 Flinstone tyres, 90 55 gallon drums of Ethanol and three safety car vehicles to Los Angeles to be sent to Australia via ship, after the Chicagoland race, arriving in port on October 9th.

This was done in order to free up space aboard the two 747-400 Freighters, (one each from Air New Zealand & Atlas Air) which took aboard 36 racecar’s, along with the team’s maximum allotment of 9,000lbs (per team) for the “Fly-away” event, as the cargo planes departed from the Indianapolis International Airport, with the thirsty 747’s making stops for petrol in Los Angeles, Honolulu and Fiji, before arriving in Brisbane...

Surfers Paradise entry list

HVM makes 200th Start

Missed during the entire hullabaloo over Scott Dixon vs. Helio Castroneves fight over the 2008 Indy Car Series Championship, was the fact that proverbial minnow-esqe HVM Racing was making its 200th Indy Car Series start, which I suppose is a fairly impressive statistic.

Recall that HVM Racing actually began life as Bettenhausen Motorsports, founded by the late Tony Bettenhausen Jr. in the early 1990’s, during CART’s hey days, with the first true hired gun being “Stevie Johnson,” a.k.a. Stefan Johansson, (1992-96) who would claim CART’s Rookie of the Year honours on the strength of two third places and would capture his first Indy Car pole at Portland the following year.

Tony’s older brother Gary also drove for the team in 1982-83 and 1996, in what I can only assume were Indy 500 one-offs, with Gary failing to qualify both in 1983 & 1996...

Yet, the list of drivers is fairly diverse, with Tony B’s most prolific driver Signe’s being Johansson, Patrick Carpentier and Helio Castroneves, which I’ve previously scribbled about in Brothers in Arms (Part 2) prior to the untimely death of the team’s founder in early 2000.

Since then, the team has been taken over by Keith Wiggins, whom briefly fielded his own F1 Pacific Grand Prix team, before coming to America to oversea Lola’s Indy Car resurgence, prior to taking the reigns of Bettenhausen Motorsports, which has since been thru a litany of name changes, several partners and revolving cast of drivers... Before emerging as the HVM Racing entity we know as today with Edward Carpenter’s best buddy Ernesto “EJ” Viso at the helm.

Wiggins admits he hopes to make it thru another 200 starts, which should be potentially doable for the 50yr old Englishman.

Yet, to put the HVM Racing accomplishment into perspective, consider that the ex-Formula One team Minardi, made a total of 345 starts during its 20yr tenure (1985-2005) without ever scoring a pole position or victory before being sold to Deeter Majestic...

Chicagoland

HOLY OVAL TRACKS BATMAN!

Being a road course devotee, I’d have to say that the 2008 IRL season finale at Chicagoland was a pretty DAMN fine race...

Albeit the typical internets snafu’s I seem to have to endure when tryin’ to listen to the IMS Radio Network “live” broadcasts, having missed the first four qualifier’s during Saturday’s coverage, while trying to get the freakin’ Microsoft win-DOUGH’s media player to respond, but I digress...

Well perhaps not, since reports claim that the chaos over the finishing order of the race between Scott Dixon and Helio Castroneves was caused by Dixon’s TCGR chassis having a faulty transponder.

Faulty Transponder blamed for race confusion

Yet, what was that about Ryan “Burnin’ Inferno” Briscoe getting a smooch on the cheek from his girlfriend Nicole Manske upon capturing his third career pole and first oval pole position... As in the former IMS Radio Network “Cub” reporter and Speed Report co-host, who washed SPEED right out of her hair... In favour of getting paid big bucks to host ESPN’s RASSCAR NOW TV Show...

For a full, blow-by-blow very entertaining recap of the breathtaking race, see My name is IRL’s guest columnist; mmack's nnotes: Chicagoland 2008

Wheldon gets the boot

And I’d say that even bigger news then all of the hullabaloo over whether or not Helio blocked Justin Wilson, is the news that Danny Boy “SPIKE” Wheldon is leaving TCGR and returning to Panther Racing for the 2009 Indy Car season...

As it was funny that I first became aware of this development when Mr. Donald Kay announced it during the opening monologue of his ‘lil Autosport Radio show Tuesday night, even though it was only afternoon here on the Left Coast, eh?

And I find it even stranger yet that Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti will be Wheldon’s replacement at Ganassi, since I thought he’d given up on Open Wheel Racing in order to focus upon his Stock Car career? Does this mean that Mrs. Balderdash will once again be subjugated to Ashley Judd doin’ her singin’ in the rain wet T-Shirt dances?

And Y’all have undoubtedly heard the news that Vitor Meira has been given his walking papers... Although a second drive at Panther is a possibility, the team seems more intent upon luring the services of either “ANT,” a.k.a. Anthony Davidson, the ex-Super Best Friends (Super Aguri) F1 piloto or Mike Conway, whose tested with the team and currently competes in GP2...

Hmm? What was that about HVM definitely having a two car team next season?

Sonoma roars to life

Well NOT exactly after another FREAKIN’ (Insert F-Bomb’s here...) FOWL UP by ESPN! And I didn’t have any fan-dancy vino on hand to celebrate the occasion, no Zinfandel’s, Merlott’s or Cabbernett’s... NOPE! I’m NOT wasting my sole bottle of Mosel Riesling on a FRILLIN’ Indy Car race! Although perhaps I was driven to indulge upon a few Northwest micro-brews while awaiting the start of that mesmerizing car race; and Why, Oh why? Does it ALWAYS take so much effort to tune into the IMS Radio Network via the internets? As once again I was determined to listen to Saturday’s live qualifying show, which required three separate attempts before powering down le confUZer and rebootin’ in order to pick-up Mike King, Davey Hamilton and the rest of the gang...

And although I knew he was back... As in Tomas “Rock ‘em Sock ‘em” Scheckter and Luczo-Dragon Racing, whom reportedly will now race in the final three rounds of the championship, I wasn’t expecting to hear that Mario “BOOM BOOM” Dominguez and Pacific Coast Motorsports were returning... As in does anybody remember them? Those were the cat’s that got busted for skateboarding in Gasoline Alley this past May!

Thus, I found it a bit surprising that “Souper Dooper?” Mario Dominguez managed to bump his way into the top six during round 1, knocking out such notables as Graham Rahal and Tomas Scheckter, while Dale Coyne’s young gun Mario “M ‘N M” Moraes bumped out his elder statesman “Junky” (Junqueira) in order to grab the final transfer position.

Group 1; Top 6
1. Servia (1:17.1462) 2. Tony Kanaan; 3. Marco Andretti; 4. Ryan Hunter-Reay; 5. Mario Dominguez; 6. Mario Moraes

Then as the minutes ticked down on group two, I suddenly found myself screaming at my confuzer... NO! NOOOOOOO............ F%%K! How can you Boyzs get beat by Princess Danicker? As Mrs. Balderdash beat out such notables as Danny Boy “SPIKE” Wheldon, who wound up only eighth fastest, as Dave “The King” Wilson would read off an entertaining trivial fact later on, that of the three drivers averaging 15th place finishes on road courses, two aren’t unexpected; Edwardo “F-BOMB” Carpentier and teammate AJ “QUATTRO” Foyt IV, but would you believe that the third is none other than Wheldon... Also of no consequence, but entertaining nonetheless, KV Racing Technology drivers grabbed the top spots in both sessions of round 1.

Group 2; Top 6
1. Will Power 1:16.9543) 2. Ryan Briscoe; 3. Helio Castroneves; 4. Scott Dixon; 5. Danica Patrick; 6. Justin Wilson

Yet, Danicker’s road course prowess was short lived as she was unable to progress any further and ultimately... Yawn! Team Penske drivers Helioe the Dancin’ FOOL and Ryan “Burnin’ Inferno...” Youch! That’s NOT funny, eh? Swept the front row once again, with Will Power third, alongside Tony “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan fourth, with row three filled out by Scott Dixon and Oriel Servia respectively, in the day’s Flinstone Fast six final qualifying sessions.

FOUR!

And then after a 25+ minute delay, in hopes of the Women golfers managing to find the pin on the 18th green; Have you seen my ball? Indy Car race control gave the command to throw the green flag... In which Castroneves led his very first laps ever at “SNORHOMA,” in what would become a somewhat (questionable) interesting race as teams broke into three separate fuel strategies... With AGR’s Hideki Mutoh coming in on lap 7 to begin the parade. Oh, when will another Champ Car Ref... Err -, Transition driver/team win a race...

As this is becoming fairly sedate, (time for another micro-brew, Ja Volt!) while I need a spread sheet to keep track of exactly who was where? As many teams put their drivers into the game of who’d have enough fuel to go to the end?

But the Team Penske cars were simply too strong today, as Helio easily cycled his way back to the lead twice and his wingman Briscoe was right behind... With the IMS’s Kevin Olsen making the quip of the week; Or perhaps the season upon Princess Danicker entering her pits for the first time, by saying;

“Here comes the Queen of fuel strategy!”

And Bob Jenkins later mentioned how Scotty “got Milk?” Dixon had been on-fire this season... Hmm? Nice choice of words Bob, did you get that from that Aussie “Burnin’ Inferno, from Down Under? But speakin’ of Dixon, he seemed to just melt into the background this race, finishing a paltry 12th, by his standards. HELL! Even some chap named Wheldon finished ahead of him in P4... And thus once again, Team Penske arose from the ashes of difficulty to score another 1-2 sweep, with TK (Kanaan) a distant and fairly unhappy third. And with Dixon’s uncharacteristic finish, Castroneves nearly chopped his points lead in half; From 78 to 43, with two events remaining, as it was fun to hear how ecstatic Helio was after winning his first race in two years...

So, Ho-hum, eh? As in two twisty tracks this weekend; A street circuit and a road course, with both winners cruising to the victory from the pole position... Yeah-yeah-yeah, I know what all of uze Oval Track mavens are sayin’ But HELL! It’s NOT the racing venue’s fault! I mean just look at the winners... As in Team Penske and Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro... Gotta get that one in before those BAD HABITS “deckles” disappear completely... I mean until there’s more then the “Big Three” in Indy Car (AGR, Penske and TCGR) along with Ferrari and McLaren, look for things to remain status quo...

Penske at Indy

Ah, the life of a humble scribe, eh? As once again the critics have come out of the woodwork... Most notably Mr. Indy-breath, a.k.a. Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B, who has been demanding the following correction to my recent post; McLaren at Indy, in which I wrote regarding the year 1973; “At the end of the season Gulf Oil withdrew its sponsorship of the Works team, while Penske quit USAC in favour of NASCAR and in 1974 Penske campaigned a lone Indy entry for Gary Bettenhausen.”

(Recall that 1973 was the year of the original Arab Oil Embargo!)

Thus, upon Danny B informing me that The Captain ran a two car effort in the 1974 Indianapolis 500 for Gary Bettenhausen and Mike Hiss, further research has revealed the following information and I apologize for these mistakes...

Amazingly in 1973, Penske Racing had contested Can Am, with the all conquering Porsche 917/30; NASCAR, with the anemic AMC Matador; Formula 5000, with an AMC-Lola entry and the USAC championship trail, as the defending Indianapolis 500 winner. Even more impressive was the fact that this was accomplished by the same driver, Mark Donohue.

Yet, The Captain had made the decision to have Donohue only contest the three USAC 500 milers that year, while Donohue talked Penske into purchasing a customer AAR Eagle for him to contest Indy aboard, with Gary Bettenhausen becoming the team’s primary full season USAC pilot, while Bobby Allison piloted a third Penske entry for Indy only.

Thus, for 1974, Roger did indeed refocus his team’s efforts that year, scaling back to only three programs; the NASCAR (AMC) Matador program, Penske’s initial foray into Formula 1, with his own in-house design, along with continuing in USAC, purchasing two new McLaren M16C chassis in favour of the Gurney Eagle.

1974 would also be the first year that Donohue wasn’t behind the wheel of one of Roger’s Indy Cars, having been so thoroughly frustrated by the ’73 USAC campaign that he’d announced his retirement from racing an began his role of “Official” Team President, overseeing the daily Management/Engineering duties for Penske Racing, a position that would later be filled by Tim Cindric.

Thus, Gary Bettenhausen would be designated the primary driver with a second Indy 500 entry slated for Peter Revson, which sadly would never occur as Revson was killed in F1 pre-season testing in South Africa.

Bettenhausen’s entry was sponsored by Score, a motor oil product developed by Sunoco which would later be renamed CAM2, as Sunoco was hesitant to run its Oil Company sponsorship in the wake of the current energy crisis, even though Methanol wasn’t an oil derived product.

Penske selected Mike Hiss, a Californian native to replace Revson, as Hiss had previously been the 1972 Indy 500 Rookie of the year and substituted for Bettenhausen in ’73. Hiss was the first driver to pilot the “Norton Spirit,” as Norton Industries would become a major sponsor of Penske Racing, culminating with Bobby Unser’s controversial 1981 Indy 500 victory.

Hiss was quick to show up his elder teammate, by qualifying third at Indy, while Bettenhausen could only muster an 11th place grid slot. Yet, Bettenhausen’s Offenhauser engine would expire on lap 2 while Hiss would suffer two painstakingly long pit stops to diagnose and rectify electrical problems before ultimately finishing 14th, albeit 42 laps behind.

Hiss would fill in for the oft-injured Bettenhausen, who had injured himself once again in a Dirt Track race and after a pair of mediocre showings; Penske pulled the plug on his USAC program prior to the season’s final two events. Yet, interestingly Hiss would be pressed into service for Penske in 1978, when he would qualify Mario Andretti’s Penske/Cosworth at Indy, as Mario was busy contesting Formula 1, enroute to becoming that year’s World Champion...

Hopefully these corrections will meet with Indy 500 Aficionado/Fact Checker Danny B’s approval... Please check out the updated version of; McLaren at Indy

And for a fully detailed look into the annuals of the Penske Racing operation, you may wish to check out the excellent ‘lil book I’ve just began reading; Penske Racing Team, 40 years of Excellence

Kentucky woman

Apparently the gang at Sarah Fisher Racing didn’t think I was worthy? As according to Press Dog; Sarah’s “People” issued the following press release: Fisher returns to flying in Sparta test, regarding her recently completed test at Kentucky in preparations for this Saturday night’s race.

And while Sarah ran both days trouble free, the same cannot be said for some of her fellow competitor’s, most notably Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson who managed to smack the wall in his newly built-up road course chassis.

And now pressdog has found the following interview with Sarah Fisher; Fisher feels good with racing group. Thus, the MAIN reason I’m gonna listen to the Kentucky race via the IMS Radio Broadcast is because Sarah’s racing...

GO SARAH, KICK ARSE!

Short Track Fever

Whale, has another two Indy Car Oval races already sped by? As I decided to lump the two shortest Short Tracks together, as although they provided some entertaining racing… They’re NOT on my list of true Indy Car racing venues… I mean, let’s leave them to the Midgets, Sprint Cars, etc.

Yeah, I’m a died in the wool Road Course fanatic…

Iowa Cornfest 250
As the weather continued to play havoc upon the Midwest, Iowa’s Friday practice and Saturday qualifying were RAINED OUT… Which was NO great relief to the waterlogged bayou’s where Charlotte and all of her friends *Oinker’s) were doin’ their best to stay dry…

Thus qualifying was arranged according to the current driver’s point’s standings which saw Scotty “Got Milk?” Dixon on point with Helioe “Blue suede shues” Castroneeves filling out Row 1… (Hey, I can’t stop myself, as My Name is IRL said we needed to give ‘dem IRL drivers some nicknames, eh?)

And thus, I found it good timing to notice that during the first commercial break of ABC’s (Huh?) half hour pre-race show… The race was being sponsored by the Midwest Farmers… Who grow Corn, by gum-it! As I found it refreshing to see a commercial playing about how Corn’s good for you… As this brings back memories of riding thru the massive acreage of Corn fields in Iowa, which I did in 1994 on the state’s famous RAGBRAI bicycle ride across Iowa, where you start by dippin’ your tire in the Missouri River and “Juan” week later traipse down a Red Carpet and do the same procedure for the “Mighty Mo. (Mississippi River) As we were informed on our bike ride that if you saw a “TP” (Toilet Paper) roll on a Farmer’s field ‘O Cornstalks, then it was fair game to go to the bathroom there, but I digress…

As it was also noted that 300 local Farmers were hangin’ out in the Turn 1 hospitality suite and were rootin’ for their boy Ryan “The Dude” Hunter Reay… You know the guy who drives Booby Ruble’s Eethanol machine.

Back from commercial break and there was an entertaining piece about whether or not; “Racing Drivers are Athletes?” UH DUH!!! Of course they are… I mean just wearin’ a Nomex fire suit in blazing sunshine will give you an idea of what they have to endure, but I digress even further… As it was time for the OBLIGATORY Princess Danicker and Marky Mark (Andretti Junior) interviews.

So, I was gonna turn off the boob tube and tune in Mike King & Davey Hamilton, but decided to gut out the TV broadcast, because suddenly I was very curious to see how LONG it would take for them to mention ANY of the ACK! “Transition” Drivers, after all, this is a unified series now, right?

As I screamed at the Telescreen, you’ve only interviewed; Danica, Marco, Dixon, Wheldon, Helio and TK (Kanaan) NOT “Juan” single Transition driver at all! NOPE! It took an amazing 48 minutes until none other than Rusty “Bark at the Moon” Wallace first mentioned any ex-Champ Car refugee, although it was some sort of comparison of Graham Rahal to Joey Lagano… Crikeys! So, we’ll keep countin’ Going’ to the 65 minute mark when Mario “NOT so Super” Moraes was mentioned as the leaders came upon traffic on Lap 99 and Enrique “I’m too Sexy” Bernoldi was next up as we went to commercial break.

Justin Wilson got a shout-out for moving from P23 to P8, while “gentleman John” Andretti was another big shaker, moving up 14 places in Jay “What me, Worry?” Howard’s rent a race car… Yet, Wilson got a real nice segment about how the Mic Dougal’s car was steadily improving… Hmm? Me thinks I smell a corporate Rat here, eh?

And in the overflowin’ trivia department, it was made known that The Captain, a.k.a. Roger Penske was missing ONLY his third race ever, in over 40 years of attending races… First race missed was for his wedding. Second race missed was because of some ‘lil thing called 9/11! And this third time was due to him recovering from a minor medical procedure… NOPE! Ain’t gonna touch ‘dat one kids…

And then the floodgates opened on the Transition Drivers shout-outs, but oh yeah, was there a race goin’ on or somme-thun? As after Helio had led the way for 91 laps, with TK leading the second most, Danny “SPIKE” Wheldon, a.k.a. Birthday Boy, who Scott Dixon busted for sayin’ he was only 26 on his BIG THREE-OH… Took over the point by staying out during one of the numerous yellows, but earlier Eddie Carpentier had retired with a broken right rear suspension piece, as he was the third car of the weekend to experience the results of excessive G-loading, as the drivers were experiencing 4.9 G’s twice a lap which took only 17 seconds to complete.

But back to Birthday Boy, as both Marty Reid and Jack “BRUT” Arute mentioned; Can you say Motegi? As Dan-Dan-Danicker is on a similar fuel stratch-ity along with Wheldon and Hideki Mutoh. And who’d uh thunk it? (Certainly NOT Hunter Reay) but Marco raced his rookie teammate cleanly and they didn’t collide while jockeying for second place as B-Day Boy took the chequered flag for his second win of the season, with Mutoh finishing a career best second ahead of Marco.

And I’ll let you puruse le internets for various reporting upon Scott Dixon calling Danica a Menace and Carpenter callin’ her the new Scott Sharp of the IRL! Now onto Richmond, the SMALLEST track on the schedule…

Richmond Sun-BAKED 300
Saturday Nite’s ALL Right for Fightin’

Just finished listening to Davey Hamilton on Autosport Radio (Tuesday, July 01, 2008; As you may wish to listen to the Archived show) and I’m MORE ‘N MORE IMPRESSED by that Cool Cat…Who’s made his way up the ranks the ‘Ol Fashioned way! As Davey said; There just was a lot of BAD drivin’ at Richmond…

But I must tell yuh, at least the IMS Radio Broadcast knows how to put on a pre-race show, as they immediately talked to the “STARZS” i.e.; the Indy Car drivers and they interviewed both sides of the fence; Boom-Boom-Boom.. First up, Ryan Hunter Reay, then Oriel Servia, Buddy Rice, Graham Rahal, etc. And for some reason the Boyzs in the booth were still hammerin’ away on Darren Manning deciding to park ‘Ol Super Tex’s Hot Rod at Iowa, with Davey Hamilton saying he wouldn’t be surprised to see a different driver in the car prior to the end of the season… You just DON’T tell AJ Foyt you’re too knackered to drive!

And then it was time to get ready to rumble... As Hunter Reay would spin on the very first lap of what would become a Demolition Derby fest, as the strangest caution of the night occurred when Gentleman John shoved “Quattro” (AJ Foyt IV) outta the way and a piece of debris flew off of his car and Eddie Carpentier had nowhere to go and had to hit the piece of debris… Which Hamilton said looked to be Foyt IV’s attenuator, whatever the hell that is? And then it simply got UGLY!

As Marty TURTLE Roth was going too SLOW! And helped to bottle up traffic on the yellow flag re-starts, as we were already on our fifth caution by lap 79 and Davey quickly pointed out that Roth was at least a good 15+ car lengths behind the new race leader “Jamie Karnuba” (Jaime Camara, leading his very first Indy Car race) and was going only 149mph and that Indy Car would have to call him in as he was simply off the pace, (AGAIN!) before we had another yellow! As Mike King was simply dumbstruck by the fact that of the first 100 laps, 58 had been run under caution and we were only one third of the way done…

And then Mr. Roth who by this point was 5 laps behind, began to slow down as Davey called out his lap speeds; 128mph, 133mph, he’s simply way too SLOW! He’ll have to come in… Looks like Marty’s pitting (to change his shorts?) as it appears Roth’s done for the night. As another caution flag flew.

Gee whiz guys, I thought you were professional racing drivers? Ain’t ‘dem Roundy-round Boyzs supposed to be duh “Juan’s” running ‘dem Bombers? As lap 145 saw caution number 8 and I enjoyed Davey’s comments about how when two drivers are jawin’ at each other so intensely, uze may wanna put ‘dem in separate Ambulances, eh? As Hunter Reay was giving Mario “M ‘N M” Moraes a severe tongue lashing after the two drivers had collided… While Mike King pointed out that the record for cautions in a Non-Indianapolis 500 race was 11 at Pikes Peak Raceway in 1999, will we break that?

And in the useless(?) trivia dept. it was noted that The Captain was once again on Medical leave and missing only his fourth race in 40+ years… Although doctors ordered him to remain vigilant in his post minor “Medical Procedure recovery… I’m wonderin’ if perhaps his IRL rival The Cheepster co-erced him into goin’ out to Idaho for a few cold ones… As Chip Ganassi reportedly was quite surprised that some ‘lil ‘Ol bar in Newell, Idaho had HD TV! (Wonder if Davey clued Chip in on that one, eh?)

While my two pages of race notes center around the smorgasbord ‘O Cautions, as the ‘lil Richmond short track seemed to be awash in Yellow-itus, it seemed extremely PATHETIC that in normal racin’ circumstances a total of 16 cars would have retired, as three drivers; R. Briscoe, E. Carpenter and D. Manning were all able to return to the race after extensive repair jobs made to their stricken chassis… Good on you mate… (Manning) and manage to secure positions 11-13 before parking for the evening as they’d be unable to advance any further in the evening’s results.

And BOO HOO HOO! Poor Marky Mark (Andretti) had to pit for fuel prior to the final yellow coming out which effectively put him down one lap, with Tony “Follow your Snauz” Kanaan beatin’ Helio Dancin’ Fool outta pit lane and crusin’ home to his first win of the season, with Castroneves second and Scott Dixon finishing third after teammate Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon ran outta cough-cough fuel on the final lap to finish fourth with Oriel “Double Stuff” Servia finishing a season best fifth!

And so now, we’re headed off to Watkins Glen, a truly great permanent road course which should hopefully see a few less wrecks?

Future Indy Car calendar

While Y’all wait anxiously for the unveiling of the 2009 Indy Car World Series… schedule Which will hopefully be the “Clean Sheet ‘O Paper” we’ve all been promised… With its 50/50 split of Ovals vs. Road Courses and Temporary Street circuits, dashing the hopes of Y’all Oval Track bleedin’ hearts… I’d like to throw in my two cents on the topic of what I think the calendar should look like in the coming years…

2008 Indy Car Schedule
March 29: Homestead-Miami Speedway; April 6: Streets of St. Petersburg; April 19: Twin Ring Motegi; April 27: Kansas Speedway; May 25: 92nd Indianapolis 500; June 1: The Milwaukee Mile; June 7: Texas Motor Speedway; June 22: Iowa Speedway; June 28: Richmond International Raceway; July 6: Watkins Glen International; July 12: Nashville Superspeedway; July 20: Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course; July 26: Streets of Edmonton; Aug 9: Kentucky Speedway; Aug 24: Infineon Raceway; Aug 31: The Raceway at Belle Isle Park; Sept 7: Chicagoland Speedway; Oct 26 Surfers Paradise, Australia* (* = To Be Announced)

As you may have heard by now? Robin Miller previously noted that Homestead was most likely off the calendar for next year with either a round at the Mexico City road course or a possible new Oval Track to be named later… As its now been reported that Terry Angstadt, the man behind the curtain, Err, leading the charge as head Scheduler… Has hosted preliminary talks with both Mexico City and Laguna Seca…

While Cleveland has thrown its hat in the ring with Bobby Rahal crashing a recent meeting pitching the necessity of the Burke Lakefront Airport venue returning in 2009. While it would seem quite illogical to think that Mikey Andretti secured promotions of Toronto’s street race without a contract in hand to return the popular event to the 2009 calendar, eh?

Interestingly, both Cleveland and Houston’s street races were promoted by Mike Lanigan, the third hombre at Newman Haas Lanigan Racing… While Houston would be a long shot due to the ceaseless barking of Eddie “The Goose” Gossage and his TEX-ARSE WURLD SPEEDWAY… Cleveland seems a bit more possible, although recent reports have noted how there are currently five tracks hosting events in this region… And thus, I’d happily take Cleveland in favour of Nashville…

Ironically, Mexico City was previously promoted by Gerry “NO MASS” Forsythe and thus would seem a little bit tricky to negotiate, unless perhaps the Mexico City Tourism Board has a change of ownership up its sleeves?

Of course Long Beach will return to its vaunted traditional April date with NO more STUPID Twin Rings ‘O Venus/Long Beach Grand Prix on the same weekend… Which means Motegi will be shuffled, perhaps to coincide with Surfers Paradise, Australia which is also definitely on the calendar…

Thus, this just leaves two classic, important Champ Car races missing from the new ‘N improved schedule: Portland and Road America… And although I’ve never made it to Elkhart Lake, this 4.0 mile road course simply has to be one of the BEST permanent racing venues in Norte Americano… And has long been on my list of must visit tracks! It’s offered some truly great racing over the years and I believe that it’s a true drivers favourite…

And while its old news that I’m a bit prejudiced towards Portland International Raceway, as it’s now my lone home racing track for the “Big Boyzs,” with the demise of Vancouver, BC, there are a few reasons why it should indeed return to next year’s calendar…

First of all, 2008 was scheduled to be its 25th Anniversary for CART/Champ Car competition at the permanent road course located just north of Downtown Portland. Yet, even more importantly is the fact that 2009 will be the 100th Anniversary of the very first Champ Car race… Of which Portland holds the distinction of preceding the Brickyard, as its race was part of the forbearer to what would ultimately become Champ Car. (Circa 2004-07)
“In 1909 -- in Portland -- Howard Covey drove a Cadillac to victory in the first race of what was then called the U.S. National Championship Series, a forebear of the United States Auto Club series and later Champ Car.:
(Source: The Oregonian; 2007)

And while critics will be quick to point out the lackluster attendance Portland has suffered over the past few years due to “The Split” and the watered down product Champ Car produced, I’d expect with the series unification and the proper marketing Portland could once again become a Northwest gem in the Indy Car World Series…

And speculation suggests that next year’s schedule could grow to 19 events with 20-21 making up the 2010-11 calendar, I’ll leave you with my version of the ultimate season…

(Proposed) 2009 IndyCar Schedule
1. Mexico City; 2. St. Petersberg; 3. Long Beach; 4. Kansas; 5. Indianapolis; 6. Milwaukee; 7. Texas; 8. Sears Point; 9. Portland; 10. Cleveland;
11. Mid-Ohio; 12. Edmondton; 13. Toronto; 14. Watkins Glen; 15. Kentucky;
16. Chicagoland; 17. Road America; 18. Belle Isle; 19. Surfers Paradise;
20. Motegi; 21. Laguna Seca

Iowa Bleu

Whale, it seems pretty sad that I’m forced to choose between watchin’ the Iowa Cornfest 250 vs. French’s (mustard) Grand Prix… Let’s see, do I go with the Dizzney Shoppin’ Network or DUH FOX channel? Pardon mwah? Dooze uze haves any Grey Poupon? As Y’all will potentially notice that ‘lil Napolean’s Indy Car racin’ series is goin’ head to head with Emperor Bernardo’s creme de la creme (F1) Sunday morning…

And as we all hope for Iowa to dry out for the Pigs sake… And the Eethanol producer’s sake, it seems ironic that the French GP falls just one week after that epic 24 Heurs du Mans race and the upcoming Tour de Farce…

PCM parks Dominguez
Tyler Tadevic; Owner of Pacific Coast Motorsports has announced that his PCM team will be skipping this weekend’s Iowa Cornfest 250 and thus Mario “BOOM BOOM” Dominguez will not take part in the racing activities at the ‘lil house Rusty built.

The team says its re-evaluating its raceing program and that everybody’s still onboard, although after failing to qualify for the Indy 500 and not cracking the top 20 in the past two oval races, the team will regroup for another stab later this season.

Yet I’m assuming that this has something to do with the team’s (and owner) credit cards being maxed-out! Not to mention the frequency of Mario’s addiction towards Safer Barriers, eh? And hence I’ll guestimate PCM’s return to competition will commence at Watkins Glen, since after all, it’s a ROAD course…

Flood Relief
You may have heard by now that the IRL is donating $60,000 to the local Iowa chapter of the Red Cross to help out with the recent ravenous flooding that has occurred in the Midwest… As both “Tarze-Jay” drivers Scott Dixon and Dan Wheldon have pledged to donate their weekend’s race winnings to local Disaster Relief agencies, as well as Andretti Green having hosted an online auction last week, raising $10k to benefit Midwest flood victims…

Attrition
Originally the IRL had announced that they’d only be seeking 26 entries for this weekend’s Cornfest, which meant one of the 27 contestants wasn’t gonna look like the others… Then PCM put the kybosh upon Mario Dominguez taking part and viola, problem solved!

Now comes word that we’ll only have 24 starters, as both Marty “TURTLE” Roth and Bruno “Whiney Bags” Junqueira will not be taking the green flag at Iowa… As both drivers have had collisions stemming from broken suspensions, with Bruno collecting Danny Boy “SPIKE” Wheldon, who’ll be forced to start his second race in a row in his back-up chassis.

And while Roth has a spare chassis handy and Dale Coyne could probably cobble something together for Bruno… They’re both sitting the race out. HMM? Isn’t it ironic? That Jay Howard didn’t make the trip to Iowa…

The Eyes of Texas are upon you

Well perhaps NOT really, but I was tryin’ to think of something clever to tie into this past weekends Indy Car race at Edward “The Goose” Gossage’s joint… Of which fortunately, Danny B informed me was being tape DELAYED on “The Deuce” do to some minor league Stock Car race… So I decided wisely to tune into the IMS Radio Broadcast instead… Although this way I didn’t get to see Robby Knievel jump 21 Hummers for the pre-race festivities… Anyone wanna buy a used Hummer? I hear they get really LOUSY gas mileage…

Did I hear Mike King correctly? Saying it was 92 degrees at 9:25PM in the Lone Star state.

And although I took two pages of notes during this caution flag infested event, they were primarily devoted to the ever flapping yellow flags, which saw a total of 8 cautions for 52 laps, just shy of the record set in 1997. (58 caution laps)

And although there were 28 cars entered, with Luczo Dragon Racing making another start with Tomas “NO SHOW” Scheckter… Who apparently blew off his second scheduled appearance on Donald Kay’s ‘lil Autosport Radio show this past Tuesday, I was drawn to the fact that John Andretti was still masquerading as an Indy Car regular behind the wheel of Jay Howard’s #24 Roth Racing entry. And although I haven’t found anything to verify this, according to Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B, Andretti will take over the ride for the remainder of the season…

And while some have claimed that CART’s demise can be loosely traced to their attempt to takeover Texas Motor Speedway back in 2001, its worth noting that some of today’s Indy Car World Series drivers were just starting their Oval Track careers at this time in point and the Firehawk 600 race was correctly cancelled due to the drivers exceeding 5G’s, as driver safety was paramount after Dale “Ironhead” Ernhart Sr.’s death at Daytona. Its worth noting that Kenny Brack, the events pole sitter, obtained a top speed of 237+ mph, nearly 25mph faster than this year’s pole speed set by Scott Dixon at 214.878mph…

In a further parity ‘O comedic blunders… Indy Car debutant winner Ryan “Disco Inferno” Briscoe took a page out of EJ “Don’t call me Ernesto” Viso’s playbook, by deciding to stop in the WRONG pit box during the beginning of the race, which dropped him nearly two laps behind. Oh well, at least Eddie “F-Bombs Are Us” Carpentier didn’t make any waves or get fined this time, eh?

And while it was a fairly entertaining event, with multiple passing, as Y’all may know by now, Marco “Marky Mark” Andretti and Ryan “Sniff Petrol” Hunter-Reay apparently decided to disagree on who’d go where in the final laps, causing Vitor Meira too do his best Dario “Where’s my pants” Franchitti summersault impersonation, which saw Scott “The Milkman” (DON’T Go ‘dare fellas!) Dixon claim his third victory of the season…

As interestingly, prior to the races beginning, Dave “The King” Wilson tossed out an impressive statistic. For his Indy Car career, Scott Dixon averages a win EVERY 5.7 starts. And if you take out the forty abysmal Toyota starts, when they were getting WHOOPED by Honda... He averages a WIN EVERY 2.6 starts!

Even funnier yet, according to Danny B, the Deuce made a major boo-boo, when they couldn’t figure out how to stop the live broadcast audio for two minutes during the pre-race portion of the DELAYED broadcast… So, its pretty DAMN funny to read that Tony George & Co. are claiming that this late night/early morning TV broadcast set a record for TV viewer ship on ESPN2…

And speaking of Jay Howard, it was interesting to listen to “Hi, I’m Ron Dixon, Father of Scott” on Autosport Radio this past Tuesday… As apparently the Brit was scheduled to be on the show, but at 5:10PM (ET) had called Mr. Kay to inform him that he’d missed his aeroplane as he’d forgotten to set his watch for the time change and hence, Ron Dixon was pressed into service… Which was actually a very enlightening interview, although I think some of that moisture Indiana’s been having musta seeped into their broadcast equipment as once again I lost the broadcast when it froze during the end of the show!

Ron mentioned how in fact, his son Scott is a “Kiwi” and NOT an “Aussie” contrary to popular media belief Down Under… As Ron works as a spotter for Roth Racing’s John Andretti and previously Jay Howard, interestingly Ron also mentors and spots for three Flinstone Indy Lites competitors… When he’s not busy being threatened by their fathers, since he’s NOT spotting for their sons on said weekends…

Ron also runs some sort of Toyota race team Down Under in Australia and when being asked to comment on Jay Howard’s current situation, Ron noted that he’d had Jay drive for him and he was absolutely brilliant, as he’d never seen the track, nor driven the car and was straightaway on it, leading nearly everything… And was leading by over ¾ lap before the race was red flagged for rain and subsequently punted off on the restart…

As for commenting on Jay’s driving at Roth Racing he tries to stay out of the politics, since he likes keeping his job, but mentioned that things looked good for Jay next year if he’s released properly…

So, once again it sounds like its all down to whoever’s got the largest satchel of dinero, eh? Although Ron eluded to the possibility that Jay would drive for Roth Racing before the end of this season.

Ron also noted he’s got a female New Zealander currently running his Toyota program who’s just itching to test an Indy Lights chassis and she’s scheduled to make her test stateside in about five weeks time…

Dali-style

Although I cannot say that current Indy Car and former Champ Car driver Oriel Servia has ever topped my list of most liked racecar pilots, nonetheless, I do appreciate his perseverance and devotion to honoring his home country with a Salvador Dali-esce motif on his crash bucket. And who would have known that Servia and Tony Kanaan were way ahead of the curve towards Unification, as the Brazilian driver lent a hand towards Serbia’s development as detailed in; Servia’s long journey from Spain to Indy.

Starting from the inside of Row 9 in 25th place, Servia made Marty Reid shriek twice during the elongated broadcast… Saying he’d almost had two accidents in less than one straightaway… While apparently Helio “blue suede shoes” came over the radio and said “WOAH-WOAH-WOAH!” As Servia was doing some edge trimming… But Oriel managed to keep the car intact and ended up as the highest finishing Champ Car refugee in 11th place, as KV Racing Technology had the best results of the Transition teams, with Servia heading home teammate Will Power, who’d started in the middle of Row 8 (23rd) and finished 13th.

Now I’ve gotta go watch this weekend’s “Monn-Knockoe” GP2 action…

Qualifying's over

Whale! That’s the most Indy “BOOMP DAY” coverage I’ve watched in a long, long, time… Having decided to spend the majority of the day planted in front of the Telescreen… Listening to the sardonic voices of Messer’s Reid, Goodyear and Cheever call the action after listening to the IMS Broadcast’s first hour prior to the television coverage. And on a SUNNY day in the Pacific Northwest no less, as we’re in the midst of a mini HEAT wave…

Apparently I missed the “Shout-out” from the IMS’s Mark James to the small cadre of (Cover your ears, Mr. Olson) Bloggers crooning for Sarah Fisher support… Which would have been cool to hear, so I really shouldn’t give Mr. James too hard of a time, eh? But how ‘bout his prediction of who’d be the hardest pressed to make the big show this year… Recall that James thought that: Jaime Camara, Milka Duno, Mario Moraes and Marty Roth would be the four drivers hardest pressed to qualify, although he almost got the last one correct.

It was nice of “The Deuce” to give Sarah her do, by talking about her and actually showing her qualifying run, albeit one day late, but hey! Better late then never, eh? As Sarah solidly made her way into her seventh Indy 500 by qualifying 22nd, while I found it most ironic that I was rooting for Mario “BOOM BOOM” Dominguez, NOT once, but twice during the last hour of final qualifying… As I must admit, I was pulling for this ex-Champ Car, Err, Transition team to make the race… You know the one that had the audacity to ride skateboards in Gasoline Alley! Before Tony George put out a memo banning skateboarding. As I’m sure we’ll never know all of the personal sacrifices individuals truly persevere thru in order to make the big show. But the $50,000 final qualifier bonus check could have come in handy for the various PCM crew members who maxed-out their credit cards in order to get to Indy.

Interestingly, Phil Giebler was trying to make this year’s Indy 500 in a Panoz chassis, which seems odd after hearing the sentiments of Buddy Lazier’s team owner Ron Hemelgarn, who claimed it would have been a HELL of a lot easier and cost LESS if they’d just purchased a brand new Dallara instead of trying to bring their old car up to date… Which I’m a little unclear on since I thought I caught Jack “BRUTE” Arute telling us that you could no longer run a year old chassis, since the rules changes made it prohibitive?

And according to Mr. Cheever, the hit that Giebler suffered on Saturday would have definitely broken his back 10yrs ago, to which Mr. Goodyear was quick to tell us about the time he’d broken his back… As Giebler would spend the night in Methodist Hospital under observation for a bruised lung, along with a sore neck obtained from whiplash during the violent crash, as Giebler has since been released and team co-owner Eric Zimmerman says the team will acquire a Dallara chassis for Jacques Lazier to race at Texas on June 7th.

So, at the end of the day we had a “Kuh-nuck” making the show, albeit Marty “TURTLE” Roth, (NOT the Thrill from the West Hill) who’s bubble speed of 218.965 was a full 7.4mph SLOWER then Pole sitter Scott Dixon’s 226.366 mph.

Meanwhile, the hard luck story of the month has to go to AJ Foyt IV, who was the very first qualifier today, initially bumping Mr. Roth’s “Tail-gunner Charlie” four lap average. As I thought perhaps initially it was just a cruel way of getting back at Davey Hamilton for being so outspoken about the current Qualifying procedures, when I heard that his Honda engine had gone “KABLAMOE” during practice and the crew wasn’t in any big hurry to replace the lump. Yet, Foyt number Four, who’d previously spun and had a gearbox go south on him during the final minutes of Day 3 qualifying… Was the hapless victim of having the fuel bullock come loose, with flames erupting before slamming into the wall after having finally qualified! As there was apparently some slippery liquids squirted onto his rear right tire. And why in the HELL wasn’t he wearing his balaclava? Will he be fined for this? As he was lucky to get away with just singed hair and neck…

Thus the final 30 minutes of “Happy Hour” centered around Roger Yasukawa, Max Papis and Mario Dominguez, while the Torontan resident Mr. Roth nervously paced the pit lane, biting his nails after having re-bumped his way into the field by knocking out Buddy Lazier’s first qualification time… As Yasukawa was in and then bumped by Dominguez, who in turn was bumped out by Lazier’s stellar run before Dominguez spun into the wall after the team had dialed more wing out and he’d just laid down a speed of 219.7mph with two minutes left to go… Saying he wasn’t gonna lift! As Eddie Cheever declared this time period to be the cruelest in all of Motorsports in N. America, while also noting that hopefully the gun would fire today? As the previous day’s shooter had been unable to make the closing gun fire, yet when asked the night before if he’d be able to get any sleep? Yasukawa explained how Japanese people can sleep standing up, something their akin to doing on subway trains.

And with the wet weather Indianapolis has had, all of the teams were nowhere near using up their allotment of 35 sets of Flinstone rubber for the month, nor would I assume close to the maximum mileage permitted on their Honda engines, thus several drivers took advantage of this by running extended laps, with KV Racing Technology’s Will Power running 114… Which he seemed quite content about while being interviewed and even showed off his snazzy driving boots… Which of course Spike (D. Wheldon) had a quick quip about as he was next in the interviewing queue, as the funniest clip of the day had to be AJ Foyt, the elder’s “Senior moment” as driver Jeff Simmons called it upon seeing the tape for the very first time when ‘Ol Super Tex forgot to waive the green flag for his qualifying attempt. As AJ deadpanned; Oh, was I supposed to waive the flag? I’m sorry! As Simmons said he didn’t know what Foyt was doing as it looked like he was waiving to him as he went by… Thinking perhaps it was Tex’s other driver Darren Manning having just finished his run?

Of course there was also another funny bit about a prank pulled upon Helio Castroneves several years ago, just after he’d won the pole in 2003… As Helio was the victim of a staged traffic stop for reportedly going 40mph in a 30mph zone… And as Castroneves pleaded with the cop, who said I don’t know who you are… It was entertaining to hear Helio trying to bribe his way outta the ticket as the cop said, oh I recognize you sir, and you’re Gil De Ferran, correct? As even Tim Cendric got in the act before they finally showed Helio where the hidden camera was. And that’s a wrap folks, as we now await next Sunday’s running of the Greatest Spectale, which will see three females competing for the second consecutive year…

Final Qualifying Results for the 92nd Indianapolis 500

Ernesto Fan Club

Perhaps this will make Edward Carpenter feel a little better about the $5,000 he donated to his boss Tony for spouting off about one of his new competitors…

School of hard knocks
By Kurt Cabin and Steve Ballard
Posted: May 16, 2008
Indy Star

Dan Wheldon has been where the Indy newcomers are now, and the 2005 race winner can spot at least one who has more to learn about the Speedway.
"The craziest by far is (E.J.) Viso," Wheldon said Thursday. "Dude, he looks nuts. You can tell he hasn't hit the wall yet.
"When he hits the wall, you'll know because (from then on) he'll pull out slowly from the car in front (of him), then move back nicely."
Wheldon speaks from experience. His first 500 ended with his car flipping after a bold passing attempt on Hornish on lap 187.
"In 2003, I came out of the box swinging," he said. "Then you hit the wall and you just start to calm down a little bit."

Playa Del Racing sold

Once again I’ve apparently missed the memo… But since hearing Davey Hamilton comment upon Phil Giebler’s new ride, I’ve been scourin’ the newswires for any related stories…

My first hint came via a tiny news blurb on Brian Barnhart claiming he expected to see some new second week IRL program’s taking part in practice this week at the Speedway;

Speaking after he had confirmed that the second scheduled day of qualifying at the Brickyard was to be abandoned because of rain, Barnhart confirmed that he expected several teams and drivers to embark on limited practice before this weekend's qualifying and 'bump' procedures.“I think, with the 33 that have run so far, there are at least three or four that have scheduled short programmes that begin next Wednesday," he reckoned, "I think you'll probably see a second Foyt car come out. Greg Beck is scheduled to start running, although he hasn't named a driver yet, Hemelgarn will come back with 1996 Indy 500 winner Buddy Lazier, and American Dream Racing has talked about doing a programme as well. So, I think you might see us up around 37 combinations by the end of next weekend.”
(Source: Crash.net)

So, with that tiny speck of news in hand, I searched for whomever this new American Dream outfit was and have indeed come upon the following tidbit:

“Majority ownership of Playa Del Racing has been purchased by former Indiana Boxing Commissioner William T. Kelsey and Arizona businessman Eric Zimmerman and will be known as American Dream Motorsports.”

Thus it appears that the former Playa Del Racing Indy Car team will now have 2007 Indy 500 Rookie of the Year driver Phil Giebler attempt to qualify the #21 entry this upcoming weekend…

Pole Day highlights

Whale, the weather seems to be finally cooperating in Speedway, Indiana, as we’re treated to the “electrifying” Pole Day festiva… As the fastest eleven drivers will lock-in their positions by 6PM Eastern Time today, as we’ve already had 5 cars “BOOMPED” outta the field, I mean isn’t this exciting?

Speaking of Festiva’s, as Y’all may already know? We had three, count ‘em three incidences at the track on “Freaky Friday,” with Rookie Alex Lloyd’s being the most serious on track as he’s still complaining of neck pain after walloping the wall in Turn 1 and will now apparently sit out the first weekend.

Mario “BOOM BOOM” Dominguez tapped the wall with his nosecone, but the most frightening incident occurred when Danica Patrick accidentally struck Chuck Buckman, an errant Dale Coyne crew member who apparently wasn’t paying attention while chatting with fellow AGR members. Ironically Buckman whose 63yr’s old was sent skywards, when Danica’s front wing clipped him, before Buckman landed on his head, receiving a concussion along with facial and scalp lacerations. The good news is that the three aforementioned are all relatively uninjured, although Buckman has a minor broken bone in his skull according to Dale Coyne who was interviewed on Pit lane during today’s festivities…

And kudos to My Name is IRL for catching the lead story of the morning, albeit at 7AM out here on the Left Coast, as indeed John Andretti has found himself as Jay Howard’s replacement at the Speedway this morning… As apparently NOT one, but two top Engineers had LEFT the Roth Racing establishment and Marty “Clean Shorts” Roth was keen to have somebody with “Experience” to lean on this Month of May as the journeyman Andretti has eight previous starts at Indy…

HMM? Why does this make me think of the other Andretti in the field? As I repeatedly tried to tune into the IMS Radio Network broadcast at the appropriate time this morning, the BLEEPIN’ win-dOUGhs Media Player said back to me the Broadcast has NOT Started, please check back at the appropriate time… But it is the RIGHT FRILLIN’ time you BOZOS!!!

And thus I was forced to turn on the Telescreen and listen to a somber Eddie “Under-Uh-Chiever” Cheever play along with Marty “Move over Boyzs” Reid and Mr. Goodyear… And so you’re thinkin’ what’s the FRILLIN’ point, eh?

Well we were graced with an interview after Marco finished his qualifying run which was 4mph off of his morning practice run which topped the time sheets at 228+ mph… So, it’s pretty amazing that you can gain 4mph off of a TOW around the Brickyard! And after his interview we got to see the young Marco resplendent in his Indiana Jones “Temple ‘O Zoom” costume, Err Driving suit… And thus I wondered if perhaps John had borrowed cousin Marco’s bull whip to take over Jay Howard’s seat?

And after Edwardo Carpentier ran his John Menard’s-ville Special RAGGID, apparently up in the grey stuff, as I’ve been ponderin’ sending the following question to ‘Ol Robin Miller’s mailbag;

While I think I know the difference between David Hobbs use of Desert Klag vs. “Regular” Klag… Is Klag just the European version of Marbles?

Since apparently Carpenter was making IMS colour commentator back-up “JP” (Johnny Parsons Jr) quite nervous getting so close to the Safer Barrier… As yeah, by now I couldn’t stand the COMMERCIAL-FEST on the Deuce and had switched back on le internets in hopes of getting less Advertising KLAG!!!

So, it was entertaining to hear Edwardo laugh while he was being interviewed, as he explained that “Juan ‘O” the Kevin Brothers; “K.O.” (Kevin Olson, Kevin Lee) was holding up a sheet ‘O papers of what NOT to say on-air…

NO F-BOMBS!
NO Swearing in Portuguese, Venezuelan or Brazilian
NO mentioning of Princess Danicker’s fuel mileage victory
NO F-BOMBS!
NO saying Helioe’s a lousy dancer
DON’T call EJ Viso a Swarmy Bastardo
NO F-BOMBS!
NO Profanity
And lastly, NO F-BOMBS!

And Thank Goodness that Mr. Whitening Stripes, a.k.a. Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon knocked Danica off of the provisional pole… Or, Oh My God! We’d NEVER hear the end of Princess Danicker’s Greatness, eh? As I’m personally rooting for Sarah Fisher this May, as she’s the ONLY female trying to make the field the hard way… NOT having bought her way into the ride or being given top notch equipment as she struggles to get her own brand new team off the ground so to speak, while her intended primary sponsor hasn’t cut her a check yet…

Yet having gone away from the Telescreen and the IMS Radio portion finished, I missed the mid-day drama as Ryan Briscoe went out and bumped Danny-boy off of the provisional pole, only to be in turn bumped off the pole by eventual Pole Winner Scott Dixon around 3:30PM (EST)

Then Marco withdrew his first qualifying time of P8 in order to take another krack at it… Yet was only able to improve one position, moving up to seventh around 4:30PM. Yet Marco’s move seemed to start the queuing up for Happy Hour as next up was Marco’s Rookie teammate Hideki Mutoh.

Mutoh was the victim of one of the strangest Disqualifications I’ve ever heard of, after having qualified 10th this morning, he was DQ’ed after post qualifying inspection revealed that the team had erroneously left off the dummy camera weight all Non-camera carrying cars are required to carry. This dummy weight is 3.5lbs and Mutoh’s car was underweight by this exact amount, Crikeys…

Happy Hour definitely lived up to its reputation this year… As there was an extreme amount of cars playing the Tech line shuffle, with Mutoh making the first move as he bumped Graham Rahal from the 11th grid spot, putting Tomas Scheckter on the bubble. With 19+ minutes left, Target Chip Ganassi withdrew Dan “Nice Teeth” Wheldon’s time, who was currently lying third overall in an attempt to knock his Kiwi teammate off the pole, but Danny-boy came up just short, thus moving up one position to second and demoting Briscoe to the outside of Row 1.

Next, Scheckter’s time was withdrawn and he ended up going .3.mph slower, but still managed to stay in P11, while many of the cars in the Tech line were withdrawn, Rahal, Power and Wilson all took one last shot at Scheckter, but nobody made it as the six ‘O clock gun was fired…

)Driver’s participating in the Tech line roulette: Mutoh; Hunter-Reay; Rahal; Meira; Wheldon; Scheckter; Power; Carpenter; Dixon; Wilson; Hamilton; Viso; Junqueira and Servia)


DAY ONE (Positions 1-11)

ROW 1
Pole: Scott Dixon
Ganassi
226.366mph

2. Dan Wheldon
Ganassi
226.110

3. Ryan Briscoe
Penske
226.080


ROW 2
4. Helio Castroneves
Penske
225.733

5. Danica Patrick
Andretti-Green
225.197

6. Tony Kanaan
Andretti-Green
224.799


ROW 3
7. ) Marco Andretti
Andretti-Green
224.417

8. Vitor Meira
Panther
224.346

9. R-Hideki Mutoh
Andretti-Green
223.887

ROW 4
10. Ed Carpenter
Vision
223.835

11. Tomas Scheckter
Luczo Dragon
223.496

Wipeout!

Whuh-whuh-whuhh-whuhh-whuhh-Wuhh WHIPEOUT!!!

ALL I can say is watch your ears… As my Eddie Carpentier F-BOMB’s a comin’ F%%K YOU ESPN2!!!

Note to Marty Reid, I think the Indy Car World Series wave has CRASHED… As the “Red Headed Step-child ‘O Motorsports has gotten the SHAFT two race weekends in a row…

As previously mentioned during the Motegi Twin Rings ‘O Venus elongated television coverage, having sat thru 130 minutes of Stork sightings and then having the next days airing on the most DESPISED Broadcast channel I noted;

And even better yet, if you wish to win over us Champ Car diehards… Then don’t put the FRILLIN’ Delayed race coverage on ESPN Classic… Cause many households DON’T have access to that channel…

Thus imagine my DISGUST when sitting down to watch HA-HA! The Roadrunner 300 as there was FRILLING Women’s Golf beaming back at me… As Son ‘O a Bitch! I think the networks are taking this Danicker Patrick LUV-FEST just a little too far… I mean what the HELL! Baiting us with promises of watching the Princess do battle on the high banks of Kansas Speedway and FORCING us to watch a bunch ‘O Women playing “Wackem-mobile” instead… SHEISA!

According to ESPN’s statistics, 63 million households have the iconic Classic channel, by which my math suggests is roughly one-fifth or 20% of the current U.S. population… So, if Indy Car is trying to reel-in new non-gearhead spectators, you’d better get a grip upon your Broadcasting partner…

As I decided to BOYCOTT watching the DELAYED TV Coverage, instead settling for the IMS Radio Broadcast via le internets, but I digress…

Hopefully this years Indy 500 will be a HELLA-LOT BETTER then the three ring Circus carnival held at Kansas… Because if this is the peenacle of Open Wheel Racing, then: Tony, we’ve got a Problem!

Here’s a quick lowdown of race highlights’;

Enrique “Half Gainer” Bernoldi performs his version of Danny Sullivan’s Spin ‘N Win with a solo 360 degree pirouette on lap one.

Marty Roth tries spearing a Luczo Dragon Racing pit worker while sliding into home base, err, his pit box. Which earns the Kuh-Nuck a Stop ‘N Go penalty, while dropping Tomas Scheckter to the rear of the field.

Apparently Mr. Roth was so shaken by the whole episode that he almost collected seven cars when returning to the race track at reduced speed before deciding to pull in and park his car for the day in order to change his shorts!

Milka Duno spins all by herself while departing pit lane.

EJ Viso spins out Tomas Scheckter, which ends the Southern Afrikaner’s 2008 race debut.

Vitor Meira retires once again after having struck a wayward tire during routine HA-HA! Pit stops, as ironically the tire came off of Jay Howard’s car and thus the Roth Racing driver earned a black flag.

Next , EJ “DON’T call me Ernesto” Viso was caught by the crack colour commentator Davey Hamilton throwing a series of blocking moves upon Edward Carpenter, while Dan-Dan-Danicher was displaying her bareback ridin’ skills by visiting the marbles up towards the Safer barrier, before falling fowl to a bizarre race retirement due to broken studs… Err, a broken wheel hub failure.

Next, while Buddy Rice was busy punching the sidepod of his Dallara and doing a half hearted Robby “DIRTMAN” Gourdoun steering wheel toss… Having missed ALL of the on-track competitors still standing… We’re treated to a 19 lap yellow flag caution period to clean the remainder of Rice’s Black ‘N Blue chassis.

And while all of that was going on, EJ Viso was busy pulling into the WRONG pit stall, which just happened to belong to Ed Carpenter who was in the act of pitting! And thus had to overshoot his pit stall and wait to be pulled back before getting nailed for being on pit lane when the yellow flag was thrown. Of which also caused race leader Scott Dixon to get pimped by the caution after having led the first 150+ laps… Dropping to seventh place, thus Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon claimed his very first victory in one year, having last won at Kansas in 2007, followed across the line by Tony “Follow your Snauz” Kanaan, while Scott Dixon rebounded to take the last podium step prior to the Month ‘O May.

And that F-BOMB I eluded to? I could SWEAR I heard Eddie Carpentier say the magic word FUCK while being interviewed immediately after the race about Ernesto is dis Juan mezs pit stall?

Danicker on the trot?

While there are apparently rumours making the rounds stateside that Rubens Barrichello could be part of a Honda F1 driver swap in 2009 for the services of Marco Andretti… This seems a bit cockeyed to me at the moment as the past two races has seen the Andretti namesake apologize two weekend’s in a row for “Rookie” mistakes. First having snapped a half shaft at St Pete in a hurry to leave the pits and then clouting the Safer barrier in Motegi on lap one on cold tires all by himself…

No, me thinks that instead Honda will seek the services of one media darling, a.k.a. Princess Danicker… As rumours suggest that Emperor Bernardo is keen to cash in on her good looks, in hopes she’ll become the first woman to succeed in Formula 1…

But seriously folks, although the other top teams, i.e.; Penske, Ganassi, Newman/Haas, Pat Patrick, Rahal, etc have all played the fuel mileage game at one time or another to achieve a win based solely on petrol conservation…

Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen wants to know; Would Danica have gotten her top notch ride if she was UGLY?

And I’d like to know how come other MORE Accomplished Females such as Katherine Legge and Sarah Fisher have NEVER gotten a proper chance aboard competitive machinery? As Motegi was Princess Danicher’s first victory since claiming the 2002 Toyota Celebrity Challenge in Long Beach. Enough said, eh?

And YES! I do know that a win is a win is a win… And therefore for those of you who just wanna know more about Danicker, you can read this “Be still my beating heart” story ‘bout Patrick’s rise to the top of motor racing as retold on the Late Night Show; On Letterman, is it Danica or Danicker?

Singing in the Streets of St Pete

I found it a bit surprising that I chose to watch the Indy Car race ahead of the Formula 1 race, being an F1 Diehard… but, I was more intrigued to see if the Champ Car boyzs could kick some tail over the IRL veterans… OOPS! I keep forgetting it’s the “Unity Carzs” series now and we’re all one big happy family…

And my apologies to the IMS radio crew as Marty (My hero’s named Tiger) Reid explained how the driver Ernesto told them he wanted to be called EJ, which seems a bit silly to me. I mean isn’t that who referee’s between Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith on TNT’s Basketball show? Or is he worried that Ernesto will be shortened to Ernie, as in Bert “N Ernie… Or that the tag EJ will make us think of that plucky Irishman better known as Eddie Jordan? But I digress…

Ah, it looked like it was gonna be a REAL Street race, I mean those cats were gonna have to run in the rain… Which they never do on an Oval, eh? And by jeez, there was even a fair amount of passing during the days spin-dry induced festivities, which saw several drivers practicing their victory doughnuts prior to getting to the chequered flag… (And look everyone, NOT even a single peep ‘bout the Princess’s multiple pirouettes…)

Yet the wet conditions caught several drivers out even after they’d gone several laps behind the pace car trying to dissipate the standing water at the end of the circuit. (Turns 11-14) as Brian “Huff ‘N Puff” Barnhart chatted with TK and Helioe over their in-car radios…

And wasn’t it funny seeing Brienne Pedigo standing in-between Justin Wilson and Will Power as Justin towered over both of them… Which was funny to hear David Hobbs comment on how in the earth did Justin ever squeeze into a F1 chassis, upon commenting on how Robert Kubica is fairly tall along with the Kimster and Mark “Shrimp on the Barbie” Webber… As Justin had a brief go in Formula 1 for Paul Stoddart’s under funded minnow Minardi before briefly driving alongside Webber at Jaguar…

Thus, talk about your poor segways… As the race encountered the first of it’s record six yellow flags, when none other than Justin “Buckshot” Wilson took over the lead by not pitting and thus became the very first “Transition” driver to lead a lap of the Indy Car World Series. Although I’m assuming Justin’s race strategy went out of the window due to his pit stop timing plus changing weather conditions…

As the mad gamble of who’d roll the dice first to switch over to slicks on a drying racetrack, made the race highly entertaining, as the front five was a cast of non-regulars, as EJ; You can call me Ray, Jay, Bob, but just don’t call me Ernesto… Led his teammate Enrique “Suave” Bernoldi, followed by Vitor Meira , Ryan Hunter-Reay and Jay Howard, as Scott Goodyear quickly quipped; “When had you ever seen a Marty Roth vehicle running that high before?”

And speaking of Mr. Goodyear, I found it funny to hear him taking a swipe at Darren Manning, who’d gotten the AJ “Flinstone’s SUCK! Foyt entry as high as fourth place, claiming that perhaps Darren should take a break from the golf links as he’s never letting his hands rest and was driving with bruised thumbs after loosing a fourth place finish last year at St Pete due to blistered hands… While Super Tex reported all he could hear that BLOODY Brit sayin’ over the radio was “I’ve got blisters on my fingers.”

With stealth-like race strategy, as the #06 had worked it’s way steadily forward, we were suddenly cast with the un-official IMS chief Jack Arute shadowing Bobby Rahal who’d earlier confessed to being conflicted over who’d he’d rather see in victory lane, his son or his team car as suddenly young Graham was leading the pack with Hunter-Reay nipping at his heals in second place…

And very impressively, the 19yr old pulled away from the entire pack, pulling out a lead of almost five seconds over Team Penske’s lone remaining charge; Mr. Blue Suede Shoes, who’d worked his way past the slowing Hunter-Reay, who ironically was having to conserve his remaining cargo of Ethanol… Before another yellow flag came out, as apparently Townsend Bell had forgotten what double waving yellow flags mean, as he mounted the somewhat hapless Meira.

Yet, with just a few laps remaining, Rahal 2.0 pulled away easily from Castromeves, to take a most impressive debut Indy Car race win. Apparently Newman Haas Lanigan took a page out of Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy’s Cleveland playbook, after young Messer Rahal spun out early in the race to come back and claim victory in his very first Indy Car start… The only thing different was that Graham didn’t hit anybody enroute to winning, becoming the youngest ever winner in the Indy Racing League, beating Marco Andretti for the honours. Rahal also joined a very exclusive club of first time victors, as this list now has just four names on it; Buzz Calkins, inaugural IRL event in 1996. Juan Pablo Montoya, 2000 Indy 500 and Scott Dixon at Homestead in 2003.

And as glad as I was to have somebody other than the “Earle’s” big three; Penske, TCGR and Andretti Green win… Having broken the string of 37 straight victories by that trio, I’m still waiting to see somebody else besides Newman Haas Lanagin be the “Juan’s” to do so, ACK! To think I’d like to see Kevin “Boss Hawg” Kalkhoven’s squad join the fray… Nah, how ‘bout either the Conquest or HVM teams upsetting the apple cart? Yeah, I know it all comes down to those dreaded greenbacks…

As for the overly astute Marty Reid’s comments towards the Tiger Woods victory lane hug-fest… All I can say is FOUR!

Race Results

St Pete Street party

Whale I didn’t expect Indy Car qualifying to start so DAMN early (7:45AM) out here on the Left coast… But I did manage to pull up the internets broadcast just-in-time to catch the very tail end of Qualifying group one… As the second session was momentarily delayed to remove Marty Roth’s damaged vehicle from the tire wall, as Andretti Green Racing’s Hideki Mutoh, was only a few 100’s of a second away from moving forward, having been bumped by Franck Perera.

Thus I was able to catch the entire Qualifying group two which found me a bit annoyed as Justin Wilson had his fastest lap taken away for supposedly causing a full course yellow flag when Ernesto Viso spun out behind him… Note to IMS broadcast boyzs… His name is Ernesto NOT EJ! C’mon I know uze guys can pronounce Ernesto, it’s NOT that difficult, eh?

So as the session when back to green we were forced to listen to an overly nauseous kiss-ARSE interview with Terry Englehart about how happy IRL was to have Coke and Direct TV onboard… But I DON’T care; well at least he mentioned that Indy Car hoped to have the 2009 race calendar published to the public by this June… But hey, just tell us who’s doing what out on the track… As Oriel Servia was pipped on the final lap by Helioe “Dancing Fool” Castroneves by 5/100th of a second to move into the Flintstone Fast Six pole competition, as Servia would be forced to settle for starting seventh overall.

But wait, there’s NO Target Chip Ganassi cars? HMM? Scotty “Luke” Dixon was an unbelievable 13th, not even having made the top twelve shoot-out, with Dan “Spike” Wheldon winding up in P8, with Graham Rahal and Perera behind him.

Oh yeah, before the final knock-out Qualifying session it was time for the Princess Pout. Err, the Danica Stomp as we were forced to endure an overly LONG sniveling interview with Danica who got her ARSE kicked in Qualifying today as all I could do was make a series of Whhaaaaaaaaa……….. Noises while she tried to not sound overly disappointed about her lack of speed! Give it up Danica… Who’ll roll off tomorrow in P19, as the announcers said there’s only two AGR cars in the top twelve. (Kanaan; Pole, Marco Andretti; 12th) I mean HELL! Even ERNESTO Viso and Enrique Bernoldi out qualified the Princess…

And I was really hoping for a Justin Wilson – Will Power front row for race day, but alas, it wasn’t to be… As apparently TK was re-invigorated from having to take a 30 minute nap the other day as Brian Braveheart was Really-Really-Really upset with Kanann for not paying attention to his radio at Homestead… As Tony (Follow your Snauz) Kanaan said he was exhausted and had to sweat to capture the pole position.

But the most impressive driver of the top six shoot-out had to be Ryan Hunter-Reay in the Booby Ruble machine, eh? As although Will Power had the fastest lap time of the day overall, it didn’t matter since it had come prior to final qualifying… And thus the Aussie had to settle for the outside of the front row in P2 with Buckshot Wilson’s Mic-Dougal’s car in P3 ahead of Helio, while teammate Ryan Briscoe will roll off fifth with Hunter-Reay alongside in sixth… And looking at the results, obviously Junky had a problem as he clipped the barriers twice, damaging his suspension once prior to qualifying…

Should be a good race tomorrow.

Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg
IndyCar Series event on the 1.8-mile Streets of St. Petersburg, with starting position, car number in parentheses, driver, chassis-engine and speed:

1. (11) Tony Kanaan, Dallara-Honda, 103.627 mph

Champ Car “Transition” Refugees
2. (8) Will Power, Dallara-Honda, 103.499mph
3. (02) Justin Wilson, Dallara-Honda, 103.444
7. (5) Oriol Servia, Dallara-Honda, 103.279
9. (06) Graham Rahal, Dallara-Honda, 103.165
10. (34) Franck Perera, Dallara-Honda, 103.062
15. (33) Ernesto Viso, Dallara-Honda, 102.359
18. (36) Enrique Bernoldi, Dallara-Honda, 102.117
22. (19) Mario Moraes, Dallara-Honda, 100.999
26. (18) Bruno Junqueira, Dallara-Honda, 93.392

Champ Car funeral

As I’ve already mentioned, NOT all of the Stars made the jump over to the newly minted Indy Car World Series, as Tony George’s wrecking ball is now firmly delivering the final knock-out blows to the CCWS HQ in neighboring Northern Indianapolis as we speak.

And most of us are aware that not all of the previous Champ Car teams made the switch, with Forsythe Petitt Racing pulling a Rope a Dope on PT, Derrick Walker and Craig Gore going mano E mano, Paul Stoddart skipping the country and Pacific Coast Motorsports and Rocketsports being MIA.

But are you aware that Champ Car World Series has quietly filed for Chapter Eleven bankruptcy which was approved just twenty-four hours prior to Homestead qualifying. The move was made to ensure CCWS’s doors remained opened thru the final running of the Bulls, Err, Panoz’s in Long Beach, while George ‘N Co. are busy dining on Sushi in Motegi, Japan.

Interestingly, these proceedings have revealed that Tony George’s family owned company; Hulman & Co. shilled out $10 million to acquire CCWS’s Intellectual Property Rights, their mobile emergency hospital trailer and making the Four Mousketeer’s sign a No-compete clause.

Yet the funniest part is giving Gerald Forsythe and Kevin Kalkhoven consultancy roles and paying them each $2m apiece… (That’s two thirds of what the ENTIRE CCWS operation was valued at!)

Yet, while the legal documents claim that Champ Car has assets ranging in value between 10 to 50 million dollars total, the listing of creditors should make one’s cranium even more confused as the largest noted creditor is Cosworth at $1.38m, while PKV Racing is owed $645,883 and Forsythe Championship Racing is owed $327,961.

Yet as we all know, Cosworth Engineering was purchased by Kalkhoven and Forsythe along with the two teams named being assets of the former CCWS majority co-owners. Thus is this some form of creative cooking the books in order for Kevin and Gerry to write off a mere pittance of the millions they dumped into Champ Car the previous five seasons?

“The creditors are due to meet on the day after the event (Long Beach) and all assets will then be sold off and whatever debts can be paid will be paid.”

All the Stars?

Ok, I realize it’s just one race and that we’ll probably spend a large portion of the upcoming season debating the ex-Champ Car team’s struggling to come to grips with their new environs… But I have a major problem with the IRL’s new punch-line. (Careful buddy, you better not say those words around some ‘Ol coot named AJ, eh?)

Although I know he’s in the twilight of his Open Wheel Racing career… You simply CANNOT say you’ve got ALL the Stars without CCWS’s biggest (mouth) name Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy who’s currently ice fishing Up North, eh? Not to mention the talented “Bad Bobby D” (Robert Doornbos) and “TAG: (Alex Tagliani) nowhere in sight… Nor the LOSS of Simon Pagenaud, Jan “Van Hagar” Heylend and Derrick Walker!

Nevertheless, let’s take a quick look at who’s made the transition to the Indy Car World Series, as well as the entire “Rookie” class of 2009, since I’ve not heard of some of these new up ‘N comers.

Interestingly, the Champ Car refugees did exactly what was predicted of them, as they all qualified in the same zip code; mid-pack from 13th to 21st, being split only by the perky Milka Duno!


Two New Veterans

Team/Car No./Driver/Starting position/4 lap Avg.)
Dale Coyne Racing

18 Bruno Junqueira (20; 207.434mph)

Although most of us have heard of Bruno “Whiney Bags” Junqueira, it’s somewhat sad how far down the ladder “Junky” has slipped. Having originally begun in CART alongside Nicolas Minassian as The Cheepster’s compensation for letting Juan Pablo Montoya transfer to Williams Grand Prix in 2001, while Bruno having missed out on a Williams F1 drive to Jenson Button in 2000 rebounded by winning that season’s F3000 International championship, (forerunner of GP2) Junqueira then transferred to Target Chip Ganassi Racing and scored his maiden CART victory in his 14th start. Bruno’s rookie campaign was far more successful than his rookie teammates Nicolas Minassian… (Does anybody remember him?) As Minassian was sacked in favour of Memo Gidley who scored his career best second place finish that season before being dumped from the team.

With Ganassi bolting to the IRL in 2003, Junqueira moved to Newman/Haas Racing where he continued his streak of finishing as the Bridesmaid to the Hamburgular. (2002-03-04) enroute to scoring eight career victories,

After breaking his back at Indianapolis in 2005, Junky was subsequently forced to seek refuge at the underfinanced Dale Coyne Racing upon being replaced by Graham Rahal. Ironically, Bruno’s now one of the seriees veterans on the grid, being part of the trio of drivers remaining from the pre-Unification era. (Servia, Tracy) due to his, ahem… massive Oval track experience. Recall that Whiney Bags captured the 2002 Indy 500 pole and has a total of four starts at the Brickyard…

Yet unfortunately Bruno was completely off the pace the entire weekend at Homestead and opted to park the Z Line Designs car before colliding with the retaining wall, classified 23rd, +160 laps.


KV Racing Technology

5 Oriel Servia (14; 209.021)

Potentially the second most powerful ex-CCWS operation to join the Indy Car ranks, with Kevin “Smiley Face” Kalkhoven funding the way, while co-owner Jimmy Vasser does the majority of the talking.

Oriel Servia has always been fast, just never able to stay at one team for longer than one season. Yet, his best results came in 2005 as Junqueira’s replacement at Newman/Haas Racing, finishing runner-up to Bourdais along with winning his only Champ Car race at Montreal.

And while his lesser experienced teammate was busy tangling with Justin Wilson, Servia simply kept his nose clean and came home in 12th, +5 laps, the highest placed finisher of the eight Champ Car refugees.


2009 Rookie class

Team/Car No./Driver/Starting position/4 lap Avg.)
Andretti Green Racing
27 Hideki Mutoh (7; 210.508mph)

This 25yr old native of Tokyo, Japan has had some varying success in the lower ranks of Open Wheel Racing, albeit in Japan and Europe. Mutoh, like many drivers began his career in the ranks of karting, quickly ascending to the Honda Formula Dream program before moving to Europe to race in Formula Vauxhall along with taking part in the Formula Ford Festival twice, with a best result of third place in 2001.

Returning to Japan, Mutoh took part in Asian Formula 2000 and Formula Dream, ultimately winning the latter in his second season. (2002) He then took part in Formula 3 the following season with a best result of third place in F3 in 2004.

Next, he contested Formula Nippon and Super GT in 2006 prior to moving to the Indy Pro Series in 2007 where he scored two wins enroute to being the series runner-up prior to his Indy Car debut for Super Aguri Panther Racing at the season finale at Chicagoland where he finished an impressive 8th.

Obviously being Japanese and Honda’s desire to see a homegrown talent succeed in its Open Wheel Racing powered series, helped Hideki land the vacated seat of reigning Indy 500 and IRL Champion Dario Franchitti at Andretti Green when the Scotsman decided to depart for RASSCAR. Yet, such championship winning machinery most likely comes with a great burden for the young Japanese driver to perform. And although Mutoh was the highest placed rookie, starting 8th, (One grid position ahead of Marty Roth) he had a most auspicious race outing, overshooting his pit stall and ultimately finishing 24th, +168 laps. (32 laps down to race winner Dixon)


Conquest Racing

34 Frank Perera (13; 209.230)
36 Enrique Bernoldi (17; 208.130)

Frank Perera cut his racing teeth in the Champ Car Atlantics last season finishing runner-up to series champion Rafael Matos with three wins. Prior to his Atlantics campaign, Perera competed in the European GP2 series, the final stepping stone prior to Formula 1. Perera was the highest starting CCWS rookie and highest finishing rookie overall, coming home 14th, +6 laps in his very first Oval race.

Enrique Bernoldi’s name is familiar to me, since he was the driver that caused Deeter Majestic to pull his Red Bull sponsorship from Peter Sauber’s Formula 1 team, as Sauber was in favour of a young Finn by the name of Kimi Raikkonen!

Bernoldi seemed to be outperformed the entire weekend by his lesser experienced teammate and finished 18th, +51 laps.


Dale Coyne Racing

19 R-Mario Moraes (21; 207.067)

Mario Moraes is an unknown name to me, as he’ll be part of the nine driver Indy Car rookie class this season instead of the two the IRL had last year, with some chick named Milka as one of them alongside Phil Giebler, who was Robin Miller’s feel good story of his On The Bubble video series.

Moraes comes from Brazil and his most notable racing accomplishment to date is splitting the Brothers Mansell in European Formula 3 racing, who finished 10th and 17th and will now soldier on in the Atlantics championship underneath the tutelage of the currently under fire Derrick Walker.

Thus while it appears that Mario is set to continue the tradition of ride buying in the Indy Racing League, he quietly went about his business, becoming the very first car lapped at Homestead, but finishing in 16th, +13 laps, only six laps behind CCWS star Justin Wilson.

Yet although Moraes was somewhat slower then his veteran teammate, he nevertheless managed to complete his very first Oval track outing, with a very respectable finish.


HVM Racing

(Hola Viva Mexico)
33 Ernesto Viso (18; 208.101)

Ernesto Viso is another of the unknown flock of racing drivers joining the Indy Car parade, joining fellow Venezuelan Milka Duno in Indy Car this season, along with providing much needed funding to the scrambling Keith Wiggins, who’s previous partner Paul Stoddart, former Minardi F1 team boss has bolted back to Europe instead of making the jump to Tony’s unified racing series.

Viso has contested the GP2 series the past three seasons (2005-07) as well as a brief stint as a paying Spyker F1 Racing Friday third driver in 2006 and although he was having a fairly quiet race, Viso made the headlines upon spinning into the wall and collecting race leader Tony Kanaan in the final laps of the event, being classified 17th, +17 laps.


KV Racing Technology

8 Will Power (19; 208.029)

The likeable Aussie Will Power comes to KVRT on somewhat heavily disputed circumstances as part of the current rift between Derrick Walker and Craig Gore.

Yet, Power is one of the rising stars in the series, having been one of the few drivers to actually challenge the dreaded Hamburgular last season, while taking his first two career victories. If the team can continue its forward march towards putting all of the pieces together, they could form a future championship threat. Unfortunately the Aussie had a collision with fellow ex-CCWS driver Justin Wilson in the early stages of the race which caused him to retire from the event, being classified last in 25th, +176 laps, Accident.


Newman/Haas/Lanigan Racing

02 Justin Wilson (15; 208.757)

06 Graham Rahal (Withdrawn)

Carl Haas and PL Newman’s long running championship operation undoubtedly has the most potential of the transitioning ex-Champ Car World Series racing teams to give the IRL Big Boyzs a run for their money in the near term future, as N/H/L is only the second team in history to achieve 100 career victories, enroute to eight CART/CCWS Championships.

New recruit Justin Wilson finished runner-up to Sea Bass the past two seasons, scoring three career victories along the way and was Bourdais’s biggest championship rival. Although Wilson has five career Oval starts to his credit, he’ll struggle initially to get up to pace on the Ovals along with having to overcome being the tallest driver on the grid!

Having started alongside Milka Duno, Wilson bumped wheels with Will Power and quietly made his way home in 15th, +7 laps after having to stop for a cut down tire during his incident with Power.

Yet, I’m not too sure what to say about “Booby Ruble’s” son Graham, who’s introduction to Oval’s got off to a rocky start with the team withdrawing his entry from Homestead after his pre-season testing crash damaged the team’s only race car significantly.

Yet the 19yr old Open Wheel superstar did finished runner-up to departed Champ Car driver Simon Pagenaud, whom won the Champ Car Atlantics crown two years ago. Rahal then graduated to the top dawg’s at the tender age of 18, foregoing his High School graduation party in order to go Champ Car racing instead!

Of course everybody’s hoping that something can be made out of a Marco Andretti-Rahal 2.0 feud, a la the good ‘Ol dazes of CART’s ‘lil Al (Al Unser Jr) vs. Mikey )Michael Andretti_ heydays...

As far as I can tell? The only visible knock on the team is the POOR choice of car numbers along with Mic Dougal’s sponsoring a BLOODY BRIT! Yeah, it must be some sort of contractual thingy, eh?


Roth Racing
24 R-Jay Howard (23; No Time)

Unfortunately I know very little about this Englishman, who has been fairly successful carving his way up the motor racing ladder, prior to ultimately landing a ride at the unknown Roth Racing operation.

Like many English drivers, Jay cut his teeth in Formula Ford and then went on to win the Formula Renault title in 2003. I believe he contested the Toyota Atlantics championship and ultimately going on to win the US Formula Ford Zytec championship in 2005 before capturing the 2006 Indy Pro Series title for Sam Schmidt Motorsports. Having changed teams the following season, Jay suddenly found himself without a serious ride in 2007 after just three events. Jay then sat out the remainder of the season prior to getting the call from perennial back marker Marty “Turtle” Roth this past November, inviting him to join his fledgling Indy Car operation.

Unfortunately Jay crashed heavily in Homestead qualifying and injured his knee, yet somehow the team managed to rebuild the chassis in time for the first race of the season in which the team had a horrific outing with the results simply stating that Team Boss Marty Roth finished in 21st, +147 laps (Behind the leader) with Howard placing 22nd, +150 laps…

Homestead

So that was a pretty entertaining start to the inaugural Indy Car World Series racing season, this past Saturday night, eh? As the past weekend kinda reminded me of another SORRID era in Open Wheel Racing…

The year was 2002 and I recall being SOO……. DAMN Excited as I’d finally taken the plunge and bought a DISH Network satellite system after I’d spent the previous two years fighting with our STUPID Property Mgmt Co. As they were UNWILLING to help entice their preferred $ingle source TV provider (Castle Cable) ADD the Speed Channel to their PATHETIC line-up. Yep, Equity Corp. based in Chicago was unwilling to get onto the blower to have this ‘lil “Mom ‘N Pop” Santa Clara, CA based outfit step up to the plate… And now thankfully? We have Comca$t cable, but I digress…

As I mentioned, the year was 2002, in what would be the final season of CART and I was ecstatic, as I sat gleefully laughing at my TV set as I was just dumbstruck that I was actually able to watch the Speed Channel after two years of NO SPEED… Which was at that time broadcasting live coverage of final Qualifying. As the bright red “Targe-Jey” Reynard/Toyota of Kenny Brack flashed across the telescreen…

Ah, those were the Good ‘Ol Dazes! Does anybody remember when SPEED actually covered Open Wheel Racing Qualifying sessions live… And not that KRAPY pre-packaged 30 minute filler they forced us to endure during the later stages of Champ Cars pathetic TV coverage.

So, like I used to be able to do via the internets… For Champ Car qualifying, before somebody pulled the plug! I sat down and listened to the Indy Car qualifying at Homestead this past Friday, which was really fun to do, since it was live with Mark James & Davey Hamilton with NO commercial breaks… Followed up immediately by the Flinstone Indy Lites Q-Session, which featured; Arie Luyendyk 2.0, Just Al, Err Al Unser the 43rd, Rafael Matos and some kid named Danny Bonna-doochey… Who’s somehow related to Eddie (“UNDER-Ah-Cheever”) Cheever?

Since I couldn’t figure out how to pull up the Flinstone’s race live via the internets. (Apparently there’s only a live video feed and NO audio only feed?) Thus, you can watch the tape delayed coverage on The Deuce (ESPN2) April 3rd @ 4:30PM EASTERN, if so desired…

As for the Indy Car race itself… It was fairly decent once they got rid of that horrific split screen start. As I was still laughing over the fact that Tony George’s cars got sent to the rear of the grid for cheating…?

And it looked like Dan the man Wheldon was gonna make a mockery of the entire field as he serenely picked off car after car on his impressive march to the front, while isn’t it time for a Princess report? Where’s Danica now and what are her Mum ‘N Pop doing?

And never fear Milka’s HIT the WALL! Wonder how many chassis D & R will get to rebuild this season? Unfortunately I’ll bet they’ll get really good at it, eh? As Ryan Briscoe got DUNO-ED… But at least it wasn’t as bad as the Spinning Ernesto, who haplessly collected race leader Tony Kanaan with only a handful of laps remaining… Thus giving the victory to pole sitter Scott Dixon.

Homestead Results

Podium
1. Scott Dixon
2. Marco Andretti
3. Dan Wheldon

Full Race Results

Homestead Qualifying

And then there were 25… As we now know that Graham Rahal’s entry has been scrubbed from the season opening Indy Car race after young Messer Rahal earned his Darlington stripe during pre-season testing earlier this week. Yet, surprisingly there were two back to back crashes as first rookie Jay Howard lost control of the second Roth Racing entry, immediately followed by Dan Wheldon pirouetting into the wall! Wheldon will start from the rear of the grid in a back-up machine most likely, while Howard was awaiting further clearance after being released from the trackside medical facility sporting a pair of crutches. Surprisingly Tony George’s Vision Racing entries will roll off in P2-P3, as Edward Carpenter flirted thru the first three laps with winning his very first pole before fault erring to second on the final lap, giving TCGR’s Scott Dixon his ninth career pole. As for the rest of the gang here’s a quick look at some of the others participating, as that much beloved Kuh-Nuck Marty “Turtle” Roth has scored his career best starting position… Indeed continuing to lead the Champ Car refugees, as interestingly seven of the nine drivers making the switch have been deemed rookies this season by Brian Barnhart with only Bruno Junqueira and Oriel Servia being granted Veteran status. So, will Scott Dixon win for the Cheepster? Or will Danny Boy blitz the field from the rear of the grid… And don’t forget the Team Penske duo along with the Andretti Green crew. Oh crap, even the Princess has an outside chance tomorrow night…


GAINSCO Indy 300 qualifying results
Pos) Driver, Team, Speed (4-lap avg.)
1) Scott Dixon, Target Ganassi, 213.341
2) Ed Carpenter, Vision, 213.311
3) A.J. Foyt IV, Vision, 212.211
4) Danica Patrick, Andretti Green, 212.129
5) Ryan Briscoe, Penske, 212.108
6) Marco Andretti, Andretti Green, 211.838
7) Helio Castroneves, Penske, 211.581
8) Tony Kanaan, Andretti Green, 211.580
9) Hideki Mutoh, Andretti Green, 210.508
10) Marty Roth, Roth, 211.458
11) Ryan Hunter-Reay, Rahal Letterman, 210.744
12) Vitor Meira, Panther, 210.315
13) Buddy Rice, Dreyer & Reinbold, 209.486
14) Darren Manning, Foyt, 210.315
15) Franck Perera, Conquest, 209.230
16) Oriol Servia, KV, 209.021
17) Justin Wilson, Newman/Haas/Lanigan, 208.757
18) Milka Duno, Dreyer & Reinbold, 208.308
19) Enrique Bernoldi, Conquest 208.130
20) Ernesto Viso, HVM, 208.101
21) Will Power, KV, 208.029
22) Bruno Junqueira, Coyne, 207.434
23) Mario Moraes, Coyne. 207.067
24) Dan Wheldon, Target Ganassi, No time, No speed
25) Jay Howard, Roth, No time, No speed

Tracy frozen out?

Talk about taking the shine off of Open Wheel Racing’s just concluded press conference officially announcing the consolidation of Champ Car and the IRL, as Forsythe Petitt Racing has dropped a bombshell…

With FPR’s Neil Micklewright announcing that the team would NOT be joining the 2008 Indy Car Series, as the team was unable to find the necessary sponsorship dollars to go forward, thus leaving CCWS’s elder statesman and most colourful driver Paul Tracy without a ride…

Yet, reportedly team owner Gerald Forsythe, who was the third signatory in the just completed takeover, has been throwing millions of his own cash into the running of Champ Car since its purchase from bankruptcy and one has to wonder why Gerry would suddenly pull such a ridiculous stunt, as we’ve all been led to believe that Paul Gentilozzi has been the one causing the most friction towards moving Open Wheel Racing forward.

And talk about your strange days as the Four Moosketeers who owned Champ Car have seemingly gone their separate (twisted) ways… As Dan Petitt seems to be taking it in the chops after his falling out with first Paul Gentilozzi and then Kevin Kalkhoven, or was it visa versa?

Petitt was the P in PKV Racing which Kalkhoven noted was now KV Racing during the hug-fest Wednesday. Last season Petitt and Gentilozzi formed RSPORTS, in order to merge their single car efforts into a two car operation before splitting towards the end of the season. Petitt then joined Forsythe Championship Racing who were expected to run a two car squad this season in CCWS…

Having the opportunity to attend my very first Champ Car Fan Forum last June in Portland, our guest driver was none other than the court jester himself, Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy and it was pure entertainment to listen to him that evening. Thus I truly hope that ‘Ol PT will not be left out in the cold and indeed find new employment in Indy Car this season.

It will be interesting to see how this makes the dominoes fall as it would be nice to think Tracy can still command the necessary sponsorship backing to land a seat. Would KV Racing be willing to pick him up or would that strain his relationship with long time friend Jimmy Vasser? As I’d expected Alex Tagliani to fill their second seat, then again what about Team Minardi USA or Derrick Walker stepping up to a two car effort, or hell, how about Panther Racing making the leap?

Conquest leads the parade

Former Champ Car team owner Eric Bachelart became the firs CCWS outfit to officially make the switch to the IRL by announcing he’ll field a two car operation in 2008.

Bachelart, who last contested the IRL in 2002 will return with just signed Atlantic standout Frank Perera, with the team’s second driver to be named shortly. It’s nice to see that Bachelart’s fortunes have swung around, since last year he was on the verge of shutting down upon long time partner Mike Lanagin leaving the team in order to join the Newman/Haas juggernaut as a co-owner. This led to Conquest employing three paying drivers to soldier thru the season before striking a new partnership arrangement with Opes Prime Ltd, an Australian based outfit which purchased a minority stake in Conquest in order to return to a two car operation for this year, albeit in CCWS.

So, I’m wondering if this means that Nelson Philippe who landed the team Juniper Soull backing just prior to last year’s event on the Gold Coast will be Perera’s partner? Philippe, the transplanted Frenchman has taken residency Down Under and Juniper Soul is a very sheik beachfront community on Surfer Paradise’s coast…

Wimpey gets his way, FINALLY!

I promise you, I’ll gladly repay you Thursday for a “unified” Open Wheel Racing series today!

Well, it’s finally happened, as the cannon fodder seems to have ceased…

As Tony George stands victorious after outlasting his rivals at the Good Shipp Chump Carzs, as the padlocks were placed upon the CCWS HQ in Northern Indianapolis Friday afternoon.

Reportedly the Brinks armoured trucks are said to be making a plethora of scheduled stops in the outlying Indianapolis region this weekend, where several Champ Car teams are located…

Although it pains me to think that the smaller fish in the Champ Car aquarium have been throwing good money down the crapper the past three weeks, as Derrick Walker claimed he was burning up $100k per week while waiting for something to happen on last Sunday’s Speed Report, hopefully Tony George’s doling out of Dallara chassis, Honda lumps and $1.2 million (per car entered) will help lessen the monetary blow they’ve been forced to endure.

According to Kurt Cabin of the Indy Star, Tony G’s right hand man Brian Barnhart has been busy checking his list twice; to see who’ll be naughty or nice? (Cheep ‘N Roger: Nice, Super Tex: Naughty, definitely Naughty!) As Bryan has been checking to find out which IRL owners will play ball by taking a (straw) poll with all of the current IRL fraternity to see just how many spare Dallara/Honda’s are currently available, claiming there’s a fleet of 60 cars in various state of repair, with his boss’s team having ten on hand…

And instead of trying to rehash what the Open Wheel pundits are saying, (Robin Miller and Curt Cabin) I’ll simply defer to the Indy star whose already done the heavy lifting on yesterday’s Really Big announcement; US Open Wheel Racing will now have one series

And does this TAKEOVER, Err, Merger mean that Gene “I AM INDY” Simonize will be making future cameo appearances as the series top pitchman… Or can somebody put a fork into him, eh?

Now, “Somebody give me a Cheeseburger!”