Three Amigos?

NOT! As ironically, once again it appeared that the hands of fate had intertwined the lives of Fernando Alonso, Kimi raikkonen and Michael Schumacher, of which it seems, was brought up during the just completed Japanese GP by Bob Varsha, whilst I finally had an opportunity to watch the Italian edition of Inside Grand Prix which chronicled the TERMINATOR’s near comeback…

Schuey gives up
As many of us anxiously awaited the return of Michael Schumacher to Scuderia Ferrari at the European Grand Prix, it was entertaining to note that first Williams and then Red Bull & Toro rosso all (adamantly) nixed the idea of letting Herr Schumacher get some seat time in Ferrari’s 2009 challenger, the F60, sighting how the current rules forbid any in-season testing and how Scuderia Toro Rosso’s rookie Jaime Alguersuari wasn’t allowed to do so prior to his Hungaroring debut.

Yet sadly, after having found himself behind the wheel of a privately owned Ferrari Clientente F2007, with “current GP2 spec” Slicks on it pounding about Mugello for 67 laps, Michael’s severely injured neck simply wasn’t able to withstand the rigours of a modern days Formula 1 chassis G-Loading and was forced to cancel his planned comeback, which was mightily disappointing to many around the globe, as the Tiafosi salivated at seeing the Ferrari God once again behind the wheel of one of their beloved rosso chariots.

Alonso to Ferrari
This was a long standing rumour which just wouldn’t go away… as mounting speculation continued to suggest that “Ferdi the Putz” (Alonso) had been inked to a pre-contract signing with the Scuderia to replace “The Kimster” (Raikkonen) in 2010 as Felipe Massa’s new teammate, in a deal eerily similar to Herr Schumacher’s farce majeure, where a la Williams dealings with Messer’s Mansell, Prost & Senna, saw some of the sport’s greatest simply unwilling to share the limelight with their contemporaries, nee arch rivals.

As it appears that Schuey was finally presented with the fact that he’d be paired with a younger Finnish teammate (Raikkonen) who could potentially beat him in equal machinery and thus decided to reluctantly call it a day in F1 a la Williams revolving cast of Grand Prix Superstars.

Thus, almost the entire Formula 1 Paddock seems to believe that it’s a done deal with Ferrari having switched its season ending party to Valencia and Spanish mega banking concern Banco Santander becoming Ferrari’s sponsor in 2010, (As this badly kept secret has just been confirmed at Monza with Ferrari announcing a five year deal having been struck.) Thus it seems to imply that it’s most certain that Alonso is set to arrive shortly.

Kimi going Rallying?
Then of course there was the most entertaining rumour suggesting that FIAT will start a new WRC Rally team next year allowing Maranello to transfer Raikkonen to the World Rally Championship in order to make way for Alonso’s arrival; of which I’d personally welcome, as it’d be an added boost to the WRC, which is sadly lacking for competition currently…

And thus, if such things do occur, where the Kimster is either persuaded or forced out to make room for the Spaniard, it would be an ironic parallel to the Finn’s own career path to the Scuderia, as Raikkonen first replaced the retiring Mika Hakkinen at McLaren, before filling the even larger “Schues” of Herr Schumacher at Ferrari… Although Kimi claims he AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE!!! Next season, since he’s got a contract to race for Ferrari in F1 alongside Felipe Massa, who seemingly has made a miraculous full recovery from his horrifying accident in Budapest and is set to return to full racing action for the Scuderia in 2010.

Yet, as Y’all know… Fredrico Suave (Alonso) has now been confirmed at Ferrari beginning in 2010 for 3yrs with an allotment of extensions available for the paltry sum of $25m (Euros) per season, as Massa’s new teammate, while Kimi will most likely return to McLaren next season as Lewis Hamilton’s new teammate, with Michael Schumacher continuing his role as Felipe’s mentor…

Massa to throw Chequer’s at Brazil

The steadfastly improving Felipe Massa, who’s recently spent time reacclimatizing himself in Scuderia Ferrari’s simulator at Maranello while preparing to test a ’07 Spec Ferrari (F2007) fitted with GP2 slicks, in which he did yesterday and today at Fiorano… Successfully completing 100km on Monday, 79 days after his horrific shunt at the Hungaroring, has also confirmed that he’ll throw the Chequered Flag at his upcoming home race at San Paolo, Brazil this Sunday.

Yet don't expect the Brazilian to return to racing for Ferrari until 2010...

When Seven really equals Two

So it’ll be interesting to see how the Scuderia juggles its driver’s line-up next year, as they reportedly have seven F1 Piloto’s on retainer, as SPEED’s Bob Varsha mentioned during the Monza Pre-race glitteratzi, that the TERMINATOR, nee Michael Schumacher had just inked a new 3yr “Personal Services” contract with Maranello.

This is on top of current race drivers Kimi Raikkonen, Giancarlo Fisichella, Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso, not to mention testers Luca Badoer and Marc Gene all reportedly being under contract to Ferrari, which Peter Winsor re-stated during this past weekend’s Singapore GP.

Or as Varsha said somewhat sarcastically during the Monza weekend; “At the rate we’re going, Ferrari will have all the drivers and Cosworth all the engines.”

So yesterday, Ferrari confirmed one of the year’s worst kept secrets by officially announcing the inking of “Fredrico Suave” to a three year contract beginning in 2010 and the REAL “Iceman,” nee Kimi Raikkonen having now been amicably bought out of his final year’s service contract with the Scuderia, as Steve Matchett had pondered the staggering $49m reported salary the Kimster was set to earn next year whilst driving the red cars…As Scuderia Ferrari’s 2010 driver line-up will now consist of Fernando Alonso alongside the rapidly improving Felipe Massa, with “Fishy-Fellah” (Fisichella) as the team’s new Test/Reserve Driver.

So let the dominoes begin to fall in the 2010 Formula 1 Drivers Sweepstakes!

To read about Peter Winsor’s Team USF1 latest Hi-jinx, See: Montagny to USF1?

Fisichella to Ferrari

As expected, Scuderia Ferrari has publicly announced that “Fishy-Fellah,” a.k.a. Giancarlo Fisichella has been inked to a contract to stand in for the injured Felipe Massa for the remainder of the 2009 season after being let go from Force India, who will most likely promote Test/Reserve Driver Vitantonnio Luzzi as Fisi’s replacement.

Thus it appears that third place in the Constructor’s Championship is indeed important to Ferrari as it’ll be imperative for Maranello to have both of its red cars in the points in order to hold off McLaren…

Arrivedercii Luca?

(Luca Badoer – 2009; F1 Fanatic)

So last Thursday evening whilst enjoying a night out ‘N aboot on the town I was drawn into a conversation with Robert regarding the plight of the Scuderia’s much lamented number two fill-in for the injured Felipe Massa… As Luca Badoer has been taking a lambasting for his outings behind the wheel of the recalcitrant Ferrari F60, while SPEED’s Bob Varsha said during the Friday Belgian GP practice show; OBVIOUSLY Luca’s trying his hardest to do his absolute best, having waited his whole life to fulfill his dream of driving the red cars…

But he simply doesn’t seem able to cut the Mayonnaise, Err French Fries, not to be “Cornfuzed” with those Frites di Machen-Dougals… which sounds much better then Belgium’s other novelty; Vlaams du Muscles, but I digress…

As once again the hapless 38yr Old Italian was some two seconds off the pace on Friday, ending up stone last. On Saturday during qualifying, Badoer once again was unable to hoist Massa’s No. 3 Ferrari out of the “Q1 Qualie” session, winding up in last place on the grid in P20, although somewhat surprisingly Badoer’s Ferrari had the fastest trap speed of 200mph! But he had trouble woahing himself down as Steve Matchet commented that it looked like he’d out braked himself in the closing minutes of qualifying when we saw Luca lurching off track…

On Sunday, whilst Luca’s teammate The Iceman (Raikkonen) was utilizing the Ferrari’s KERS system to his best advantage after an unbelievable start, which potentially caused the races major pile-up which eliminated both Lewis Hamilton and Jenson button, along with Romain Grosjean And Jaime Alguersuari on lap one…

Badoer who was on a one stop strategy was unable to string together any substantial lap times, running some two seconds a lap slower then Williams Kazuki Nakajima, as the Kimster would scorch his way past an unbelievably competitive Fishy-Fellah… Holding off the Italian by less than one second, while Badoer would cross the line as the very last runner in 14th, nearly 100 seconds adrift; officially 1m38.177 behind.

Meanwhile Fisichella scored Force India’s very first Pole position and initial Grand Prix points with his amazing second place finish behind Raikkonen, while holding off a fast charging Sebastian Vettel…

Yet as The House ‘O Winsor also noted upon Friday’s show, Badoer definitely has his work cut out for him; strapping in for the first time on a race weekend in nearly 10yrs at a track he’s never driven. Off to the blindingly fast Spa Francorchamps, the insane pressure of the Tiafosi, a night race in Singapore, the rain in Suzuka and back to the concrete canyons in Yaz Marina… (Abu Dubai)

NO, the real embarrassment lies firmly on the Scuderia’s shoulders as it seems unfathomable that they don’t have a contingency plan for this very circumstance, nor any “Young Lions currently in the pipeline to have drawn upon… As Kimi’s miraculous victory helped increase the gap between arch rivals McLaren to 12 points, who are pressuring the Scuderia for third place in the Constructor’s Championship, of which is not only for bragging rights but valuable prize money and travel funds.

Of course all of this seems to be facilitated from the FIA’s NONSENSICAL BANNING of in-season testing, or even worse yet, the redundancy of Friday Third Driver’s, which seemingly gives potential Grand Prix Piloto’s little incentive to become a Formula 1 Test Driver, eh?

Alas, what will Maranello do? As it seems the best hoped for solution would be to grant “Fishy-Fellah” his long distance dream of finally driving for Ferrari, as Giancarlo bravely described his time at Sauber his closest chance to driving a Ferrari powered landshark in battle royale. As this may be the best way for Vijay Malia to politely show Fisichella the door in order to make way for the anxiously waiting Vitantonnio Luzzi, who’s reportedly already been promised a drive in 2010. Not to mention freeing up some capital to pay off his outstanding Ferrari customer Lumps debt…

Then again why not let Luzzi fill-in for Ferrari in order to prepare for next season? Although the Scuderia may balk at the idea of preparing a potential rival, eh? Otherwise, Ferrari may simply take their lumps with Badoer as Raikkonen has already stated that all development work has now transferred onto next year’s challenger, and reportedly Badoer is faster then test driver Marc Gene whom also hasn’t raced in F1 in an exceedingly LONG time.

Of course Nelson Piquet Jr. and Sebastian Bourdais are currently available, while I have no idea whom Ferrari would approach from the GP2 ranks? And what would happen if Fishy-Fellah actually outperformed the Kimster in “equal” machinery… Would that be a good or bad thing for Kimi’s future with Ferrari? And will Massa really return in Brazil?

So the question remains, just how badly does Ferrari truly wish to retain its current third place in the Constructors Championship?

Good Luck Luca!

Massa to travel to Miami for more tests

Injured Ferrari F1 driver Felipe Massa will travel to Miami on Friday to see renowned surgeon Dr. Steve Olvey for further evaluation on his recovery, as Olvey was one of the surgeons who performed life saving surgery upon Alex Zanardi and has helped several drivers return to the cockpit as Massa has stated that he’d like to return to competition this year in his home race in Brazil this October…

Schumacher’s return cancelled

Another day, another twist in this never ending season of Formula 1, as the “Terminator” has had to scuttle his planned for return to F1 as Felipe Massa’s stand-in.

Michael Schumacher:
“Yesterday evening, I had to inform Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo and team principal Stefano Domenicali that unfortunately I'm not able to step in for Felipe”

As it seems well documented now, Herr Schumacher has been recovering from a motorcycle accident earlier this year and after testing a private ’07 spec Ferrari F1 chassis in Mugello, the persistent neck pain has failed to go away completely and therefore Schumacher will give way to Ferrari test driver Luca Badoer, as I for one am very disappointed over this latest development of which I’m certain isn’t good news for the Valencia promoter, eh? Especially if Alonso is forced to serve his teams one race ban…

Schumacher calls off F1 comeback

Schumacher returning!

Michael Schumacher – Malaysia, 2009; Source: Grandprix.com

Holy Blogosphere Batman! Talk about your riveting news cycle, eh?

Having taken a dip in the Kiddies’ pool, after a sweltering walk in 95 degrees temperature at 12:30PM today. (Otay, I’ll stop with the weather reporting, may be?)

So what to do now? Yeah, I succumbed to surfing the internets and was floored to discover on James Allen’s F1 Blog the title screaming Schumacher to return to Formula 1…

As ironically, Seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher’s decision to return to the cockpit after an enforced three year sabbatical comes on the heels of his manager Willi Weber 200% categorically denying that his charge, Herr Schumacher… Or as David Hobbs enjoys putting it, Ralph Schumacher’s brother would NOT be returning to race in Formula 1 anytime soon, just 24hrs prior.

The 40yr old German will undergo an intense training regiment, prior to being given the go-ahead to stand in for Felipe Massa at next month’s European Grand Prix in Valencia, Spain. (Ah SHEISA! Where’s my G5 when I need it, eh? Having not seen the Terminator since his glorious victory, becoming the very first five time winner at Indianapolis in 2006…)

“Schuey,” who hasn’t driven competitively since 2006, nor having driven this year’s recalcitrant Ferrari F60 chassis, will most likely be given special compensation to test prior to racing in Spain, which should help the promoter’s immeasurably, if the Renault penalty stands.

Michael Schumacher:
"The most important thing first: thank God, all news concerning Felipe is positive. I wish him all the best again. I was meeting this afternoon with Stefano Domenicali and Luca di Montezemolo, and together we decided that I will prepare myself to take the place of Felipe. Though it is true that the chapter of Formula 1 has been completely closed for me for a long time, it is also true that for loyalty reasons to the team I cannot ignore that unfortunate situation. But as the competitor I am, I also very much look forward to facing this challenge."
(Source: Grandprix.com)

Budapest Bash

Obviously, I wasn’t expecting to watch “Live,” via the Memorex the Horrific looking Shunt Scuderia Ferrari’s Felipe Massa incurred during the “Q2 Qualie” session at the Hunga-Boring (Hungaroring) circuit this past Saturday; seeming quite eerie to watch the images of Massa’s Ferrari F60’s “Lump” revving away while firmly implanted into the Turn 4 Tyre barrier!

And although I either lost the video tape or failed to record it, as I’ve mentioned before that I was preoccupied in “Los Wages” that horrible weekend in Imola, referred to as “Black Sunday!” When two F1 Piloto’s lost their lives and very nearly a third, I must say that Massa’s incident immediately conjured up images of Ayrton Senna’s tragic accident, along with ex-Toyota F1 Piloto “Shorty’s” (Cristiano Da Matta) horrible testing shunt at Road America, as I silently muttered to myself that Massa’s DONE! As in his race career is kaput… (Which obviously I hope I’m completely WRONG about).

Sportscenter SUCKS!
Saturday afternoon, while still without my Confuzer, Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B called at 13:43 (1:43PM) wanting to know if I’d heard the news about Felipe Massa? Yeah, I watched the whole BLOODY thing this morning… But they said he’s Ok… Well actually the ESPN “Ticker” says that Massa’s suffered Life threatening injuries but is in Stable condition; which seems like a bit of an Oxy-Moron to Mwah.

So, I did a quick scurry around the Newswires, via my very appreciated Newslind for the Blind telephone service, which enables me to listen to 250+ Newspapers from all 50 States, yet could only find reports of the initial accident, echoing SPEED’s coverage reporting that Massa was Ok after having been removed by stretcher and that Rubens Barrichello had talked to him in the infirmary… With AP News claiming that Barrichello had reported Massa’s Ok, moving his arms but is highly agitated… (To which I’m now wondering if the FIA pulled another Senna? Taking Massa away from the Hungaroring without divulging his true status?)

Next, “Mr. Carpets” (Dave) called at 16:00 (4PM) also asking if I’d seen the ESPN Ticker’s news about Massa’s condition? Aw, CRAP! Now I’m gonna have to watch ESPN’s Freakin’ Sportscenter at 8PM (Pacific)

And yeah, I know it’s a FRILLIN’ Stick ‘N Ball Channel… BUTT CRACKERS!!! I had to endure 34 minutes of their dribble before getting to the story I cared about; SHEISA!

As first we were FORCED to watch endless minutes of “ ROID BOYZ,” As the Talking Bobble-heads blathered on ‘N on ‘bout ‘dem Boyz ‘O Summer, (Baseball) the Nationwide race recap, a ditty ‘bout Mark “Old Spice” Martin’s affliction for ‘Old School WRAPPERS like Snoopy Doggy Dog. HELL! Even Lance Armstrong and Le Tour de Farce got preferential billing…

But what about Felipe-eh?

Then back to more Base-em ball tiddlywinks and a rather entertaining interview on the Brickyard’s Tarmac with “SMOKE” (Tony Stewart) and ‘Ol Super Tex, (AJ Foyt) as Foyt tossed out multiple One-liners about tony which caused him to laugh quite a bit… Before the announcer read from the Telepromter: Ferrari’s Felipe Massa sustains Life threatening injuries in crash, but is in Stable condition; SHEISA! I already knew that, as they replayed footage from Qualifying with Barrichello’s errant rear “Heave” spring circled as it hurtled towards the totally unsuspecting Massa! As later, somewhere in the multitude of reporting I heard that the force of impact against Felipe’s helmet was estimated at 1,600 pounds… Ah, SHIT! That cannot be good, eh?

And thus afterwards I jumped back on the blower and found an updated AP story giving further insight into Felipe’s tenuous condition, which he’s now making remarkable gains from, having recently heard that he’s now answering the Doctor’s in three languages and most likely will walk out of the Budapest Military Hospital in around 10 days… As obviously I hope for the best, especially since the 28yr old Brazilian has just previously announced his wife’s pregnancy as they’re expecting their first child in November.

Massa update

Massa recovering

I’ll scribble a full story tomorrow, now that I’ve spent the past 3hrs trying to get my first two stories posted on my No Fenders site… But fortunately I can report that it appears that Felipe Massa is recovering from his Horrific shunt during “Q2” Qualifying Saturday for the Hungarian Grand Prix…

Massa recovery update

Postcard from the Med

Recently I received an email transmission from aboard the HMS Pinafore, Err Carnival Cruise liner from Maria Antoinette... A.k.a. Katherine who was sailing about the “Med” in search of Sunshine and Solitude from our dreary Pacific Northwest...

Maria:
Well, I don’t have time to check your No Fenders blog, but I imagine you have a word or two to say about the two tiered system F1 is proposing that’s pissing off Ferrari among others. Sounds like plain old cost cutting perhaps disguised as something else? It’s getting a fair amount of coverage over here. There was a rally of little vin-vins, as William calls them, in the Azores when I was there. Lots of goofy looud little matchbox cars with sponsorship plastered on them. But we didn’t get to dock in Portimao due to rough seas, so I can’t report on cars there. But I’ll look for that hairpin turn in Monte Carlo.

As perhaps all of this has blown over by now with the recent announcement on June 12th of the FIA 2010 Formula 1 Entry list, eh? Ah but just what did those two highly paid athletes at the Scuderia say? And would they really go against the Prancing Horse’s Company lines? Nah!

What Kimi and Felipe think... (Whale Sorta, May be? NOT!)

Meanwhile I’m still awaiting my Rascasse Corner Hairpin Postcard that was accidently sent to Auntie Harriet instead...

Ferrari to quit F1 in 2010?

Perhaps you’ve caught wind of Ferrari’s statement to NOT enter the 2010 Formula 1 World Championship in 2010 unless the FIA rescinds the Budget Cap Formulae... Of which Toyota has previously stated it will not compete in a Two-tier Formula, along with Red Bull threatening to pull both of its teams and Renault having just followed Ferrari’s lead today, also stating its intent to walk away next season, while BMW and Mclaren are rumoured to have taken a similar stance. As this all seems to be in deference to Max Mosley publicly taking shots at the Scuderia by saying such inflammatory things like Formula 1 doesn’t need Ferrari! So I don’t know about you, but the endless dropping of Bombshells in the media of two Old men’s arm twisting to make a sport conform to their every whim is growing a tad bit tiresome to me...

FIA and Ferrari Row to Split F1?

Ferrari launches F60

(Source: Motorsport.com)

Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro has once again beaten their Formula 1 brethren to the punch in the spate of upcoming 2009 F1 launches, when the team debuted the F60 at Mugello on January 12th, as the launch was originally intended for Fiorano, which was blanketed in snow.

Felipe Massa was given the honours of taking the F60 out for its debut laps, as Ferrari has chosen to christen its 2009 challenger the F60, in deference to its continuous 60yrs of participating in the modern F1 Championship.

Massa was quoted as saying it reminded him of an F3 chassis as the racecar is much more diminutive then the previous F2008...

Launch notes

F60 Technical Specs

Montezemolo loses it!

And why does The Who’s Pete Townsend come to mind while in the background I hear John Hiat’s; Smashing a perfectly good guitar! Now kids, DON’T try this at home! These are trained professionals...

As its been reported that Ferrari Supremo Luca di Montezemolo was so outraged by Lewis Hamilton’s last corner snatching of the 2008 F1 Drivers World Championship that he SMASHED his TV!

Luca smashes tellie

Ferrari wins again

While some current F1 teams must be sweating the future, the team that seems to be wearing shades, (You may wanna make those safety glasses instead, if Luca D is anywhere nearby, eh?) As the Spanish bank Santander has indeed signed a contract to sponsor Ferrari beginning in 2010, which will possibly spark the revival of Ferdi the Putz’s (Alonso) arrival at Maranello in 2010/2011?

Meanwhile, the Scuderia has been soaking up some more made for television hyperbole by inviting three young Italian Lions to test their hands behind the wheel of a current spec Ferrari F2008 chassis, after The Doctor’s (Valentino Rossi) recent media blitz.

And amidst this media hype, The Iceman has returned to the cockpit for the first time since the season finale and will spend the winter focusing upon solving his tire troubles alongside Felipe Massa, as its just been reported that the Scuderia has revamped some of its racing team’s personnel, including Kimi Raikkonen being partnered with a new race engineer...

Ferrari revises team structure

Birthday Boy

Now, NO clownin’ around Kimi... I mean NO Monkey suits, Mr. James Hunt esquire... As today marks Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro’s Kimi Raikkonen’s birthday, with the 'Iceman' Being born on 17 October 1979 in Espoo, Finland.

Kimi, who is currently at Shanghai for the Chinese GP, said: "It was nice to see so many fans in the grandstands to celebrate my birthday."

Happy 29th Birthday, Kimi!

Todt leaves Ferrari

Jean Todt, the man who led Ferrari’s resurgence in Formula 1 with the unprecedented six year domination during the Michael Schumacher dynasty has resigned from his post of CEO at Ferrari, which was confirmed during the just concluded share holder’s meeting March 18th.

Yet, rumours suggest that the 62yr old Frenchman may be positioning himself for a run at Max Mosley’s job as head of the FIA in 2009 when Mad Max’s current tenure expires. Apparently Mosley and Todt are friends and the Scuderia has left Todt as its FIA representative, which could come in handy during the run-up to elections next year…

Ferrari F2008

Continuing to lead the pack, Ferrari kicked off this year’s Formula 1 launches with the unveiling of the F2008 at Fiorano, Italy on January 6th. Ferrari’s new challenger is a re-designed version of its 2007 champion due to the dually imposed technical regulation changes which effect all of the F1 Constructors.

And wouldn’t you know it? While Kimi Raikkonen was busy shaking down the new F2008, Jean Todt was busy stirring the pot by claiming the new spec SECU developed by its rival McLaren, favours the Woking based team…

Ferrari replaces Todt

In a further sign of the changing of the guard at Ferrari, the Prancing Horse hierarchy has just announced that Stefano Domenicali Will replace Jean Todt as head of Gestione Sportiva, effective January 1st, 2008.

Upon graduating from the University of Bologna, Domenicali joined Ferrari in 1991 and will head a decisively Italian flavoured Scuderia Ferrari race team. It’s unclear whether or not Todt will continue as President and CEO of Ferrari automobiles…

Ferrari re-signs Massa

As I’ve been blathering on about the ridiculousness of Alonso going to Scuderia Ferrari in 2008, Maranello has finally announced the re-signing of Felipe Massa.

Massa will remain a Prancing Horse pilot until the end of 2010 alongside 2007 World Champion Kimi Raikkonen.

Thus as I’ve also previously noted, the most logical choice for “Ferdi the Putz” in 2008 is Renault, with scuttle butt suggesting a swap with McLaren for Heikki Kovalanen? I’m still guessing that Nico Rosberg will land the vaunted McLaren seat alongside Lewis Hamilton. Kovalenen will partner Ferdi and Nelson Piquet Jr. will take over Rosberg’s seat at Williams…

Red Mist

You may have heard that ex-Ferrari employee Nigel Stepney was to publish a book chronology of his years at Ferrari titled Red Mist. Yet Stepney now claims that original publisher of this book has been manipulated into not publishing Stepney’s manifesto.

And instead of trying to write something clever about this story, I’ll defer to the lengthy article recently published, as it also contains a copy of a letter that Nigel wrote to current FISA mouthpiece Max Mosley detailing various issues involving the “Flexi-gate” issue which was the start of “Stepney-Gate…”

To read the story, see: Stepney says publisher pulled out because of pressure

Schuey to race again

While Michael Schumacher may not be gracing us with his presence in the pits during Grand Prix weekends any further. It appears his driving days aren’t completely finished.

As it’s just been announced that the seven times World Champion will take part in Felipe Massa’s charity go kart event this November. While it has been previously announced that Schuey will also participate in the ROC in Wembley this December. What’s next? Perhaps some Tin Top competition. And none of dat Speed Car stuff. Naw, wouldn’t it be fun to see Michael giving his ex-nemesis Mika Hakkinen the Chrome Horn in the DTM. But don’t hold your breath…

Schuey Day Trippin?

Previous to winging his way towards Monnocoe where the proverbial SHIT hit the fan over Ferrari’s disastrous race weekend earlier this season. Michael Schumacher was spotted tooling around Germany.

Yet a sighting of a Ferrari circulating around the Nurburgring is not exactly newsworthy. Except as David Hobbs would often tells his colleague Professor Matchett. You must have Eyes like a proverbial Rat!

As some sharp eyed observer noticed that the pilot of said Ferrari circulating the Nordschleife was none other than Herr Schumacher.

And while young German F1 hopeful Winklehock is busy making his Grand Prix debut, Schuey will be on hand for the dedicating of his brand new grandstand at the Nurburgring this weekend…

Ferrari birthday cake

Oh goody! We here at No Fenders can once again return to our regular programming! Now that the yea hoo’s with too many bottle rockets have finished shooting their…

Like all great parties… They must eventually come to an end. Which was the case for Ferrari’s around the world celebration of its 60th Birthday.

Why do I always manage to miss these affairs? Having now missed both the big 5-Oh as well as number sixty…

Ferrari targets Stepney

If things weren’t bad enough on track. News comes from Modena that the Scuderia “Dream Police” have taken legal action against Ferrari (Soon to be Ex?) Technical Coordinator
Nigel Stepney.

It all seems to stem around the restructuring of Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro upon Messer Schumacher’s retirement. As the long dominant Formula 1 team seems to be in a bit of disarray upon the departure of several key members. With Rory Byrne effectively retiring, Ross Brawn on sabbatical and Paulo Martin Elli having moved to FIAT. This leaves Jean Todt feeling a bit lonely these days at the helm of the Ferrari monstrosity.

And this reshuffling included seeing Nigel Stepney being assigned a new non-racing role at Ferrari after being an integral part of the Schumacher Dynasty. As you may recall that Stepney received a broken foot while being Michael Schumacher’s refueler during the glory years. But after Schuey’s departure, Stepney has been assigned tasks at the factory.

Although Ferrari is unwilling to divulge the exact discrepancies Stepney has made. Maranello spokesman claims the action is in regards to the Englishman’s behaviour. While in Italy
Scuttlebutt accuses him of attempting to sabotage the red cars just days prior to Monaco. Which seems highly unlikely.

Stepney has made no secret of his desires to remain trackside and has been shopping himself around to various F1 competitors while still under the employ of the Prancing Horse. Rumours suggest Stepney was keen to take some of the remaining staff with him to Honda.

Stepney’s retorts to Ferrari’s allegations seem to suggest a bit of a “Witch Hunt.” Claiming that Ferrari knows exactly where he is. Upon booking his pre-arranged Asian holiday thru the Ferrari travel office. This comes after Ferrari claimed Stepney was not contactable.

In a recent interview with the UK’s Sunday Times. Stepney said
Ferrari is up to a game of dirty tricks. It’s all in the hands of his lawyer, so let’s wait and see.

Hmm? Wind tunnel fan belt breakages, Flexi-Floor accusations and throwing a key staff member “Under the Bus.” Could this be the root cause of the Scuderia’s recent downturn in performance?

Is this any way to treat the man responsible for giving Steve Matchett his chance as a Formula 1 mechanic?

World’s most expensive fan belt

So just what is up in Ferrari land? I mean why the current three race slump. Including the shellacking by McLaren finishing 1-2 last weekend.

And as previously mentioned some astute pit lane reporter. NO! Not Derr-Wreck Daily! But I think Peter Windsor mentioned the fact that Ferrari recently suffered a belt failure to their single rolling road wind tunnel. And it’s interesting to learn that the steel belt that propels this portion of the wind tunnel runs at a speed of 180mph! Which means F1 engines aren’t the only thing that goes KABLAMOE!

Yet surely this single factor cannot simply be the sole reason of Ferrari’s slump? I know that aerodynamics play a crucial role of a Formula 1 race cars success. But I just can’t believe that the lack of a wind tunnel for a few days would indeed be so critical! I suspect it has more to do with the fact that Ferrari is running a long wheelbase chassis. As well as the redesign of the “Flexi-floor.” At least I believe the longer wheelbase was a key issue at Monaco.

Now why is it that every time I write longer wheelbase all I can think of is the old Pontiac commercial. “Wider is Better!” As Pontiac tried vainly selling a “wide-track” Grand Prix model a few years ago…

This downtime of the past 24 hours makes me ponder if Ferrari’s decision to invest heavily in CFD (Computational Fluid Dynamics) is such a wise thing to proceed with? I mean CFD requires enormous amounts of computing… Which, ergo. Means having your own “Super Confuzer” which NEVER goes off line. Quick, somebody please tell me if the lights are still on in Maranello?

Italian Spin Job

Ah, those feisty Italians! You may have heard about Ferrari having just been voted the best place to work in Europe?

Well in typical Italian fashion, the Ferrari employees have decided to strike after some apparent “strife” with the management. So perhaps not all is perfect in Maranello? Does this mean Ferrari has to give the award back?

“Mama Mia, That’s a spicy Meatball!”

Schuey sets Sail

After staying out of the media’s spotlight upon his forced retirement, seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher has been busy making the rounds lately.

After finishing playing golf in Abu Dhabi, Willi Weber called upon his ex-client to hand out the A1 GP Championship trophy hardware. Where Schuey presented the shiny “cup” to the fledgling teenager Nico Hulkenberg.

The “stunt” was totally unplanned and seems to have ruffled some feathers of those whom have been on Schumi’s “Dance Card” for several years.

Next Michael made a surprise visit to America Cup challenger New Zealand to go for a “Three Hour cruse.” It seems a little surprising that Herr Schumacher rode aboard the opposition to Ferrari’s native country +39 Italian challenger.

And although Mary Ellen and Ginger weren’t present, I’m happy to report that the “Kiwi’s” didn’t have Gilligan at the helm either as the Emirates backed yawth defeated the Italians.

Was Michael simply hoping to either get a lift or go for a “walk about” his Isle ‘O Schumi? Since I suspect that the man made Middle East donated island isn’t large enough for Michael’s G5!

Yet I’m happy to report that Schuey & Co. safely returned to port…

What will Michael do?

Ah the lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous… While recently playing golf in Dubai, Michael Schumacher commented over his still as yet undefined role at Ferrari.

Schumacher who’s expected to take up some sort of managerial role in the future stated how its great to work for a company that lets you decide what you wish to do.

Meanwhile three current Formula 1 drivers have made differing remarks towards the seven time World Champions presence during Ferrari winter tests.

In his typically harsh Aussie mentality, Mark Webber has spouted off about why in the HELL is Michael still floating around at the Scuderia’s outings? Perhaps you should focus upon getting up to pace aboard your mid-pack Red Bull, mate!

Also Kimi Raikkonen has said he doesn’t need Michael’s help or advice and now comes Felipe Massa’s comments about not missing Michael either.

Who says Formula 1 respects its elders? Gone and forgotten, eh? Yet reports state that Jean Todt has claimed he’d be extremely happy if Michael said that he wanted to be Team Principal as his new role at Ferrari. So perhaps Kimi and Felipe had better watch their tongues…

Cold as Ice?

The British media never seems quite content unless it’s ramping up the pressure upon Formula 1’s leading lights. Recently the Brit’s turned their attention towards the “Iceman,” better known as Kimi Raikkonen.

Reportedly Raikkonen hasn’t spoken to Michael Schumacher over integrating into the Scuderia or asked for any driving advice, with Raikkonen being quite content to pursue his own agenda…

Rossi’s shiny new FIAT?

Valentino Rossi, the “Mega” MotoGP Superstar has been linked to a new deal with Ferrari. Well Sort of.

You may recall that Rossi has previously spent time testing for the Scuderia back in the winter of 2005 fueling speculation as a possible replacement for the newly departed Michael Schumacher.

Rossi continued to remain with his two wheel roots instead after signing a contract extension and fought for the 2006 Moto GP crown which eventually went to American Nicky Hayden.

Now upon Rossi’s Yamaha MotoGP team having lost long time title sponsor Camel due to the never ending Anti Tobacco legislation comes reports that FIAT is poised to become the team’s new backer…

Ferrari 60th Birthday Announcement

ile the Scuderia creeps towards Senior Citizen status by turning 60 this year, Shell Oil has decided to make quite a ruckus over the impending birthday.

Imagine waking up to the shrill sounds of exotic Formula 1 machinery barking loudly in the early morning hours of your neighborhood? This is apparently exactly what has happened in Monaco.

Meanwhile Shell is busily trying to film commercials around the globe, with first London’s location being scrubbed and relocated to Monaco. Now comes word that the Sydney “shoot” has also been pulled. So much for the lure of free TV promotion as the Oil giant seems unwilling to “Shell” out any extra dinero on the mega-bucks commercials…

Massa bullish on BMW-Sauber

Is this just another wrinkle in the never ending mind games that Formula 1 drivers are renowned for? I find it a bit strange to read that Felipe Massa is claiming that BMW-Sauber is the team to beat so far…

Perhaps Massa is just taking a swipe at his real rivals for the upcoming season by claiming that BMW-Sauber looks stronger then McLaren-Mercedes, Renault and the others…

It will all get down to “brass tacks” in just one month Down Under, eh?

Schuey’s Excellent Adventure?

Holy Ford Fusion Batmann! What in the HELL is the world coming too? After seven time World Champion Michael Schumacher rightly SLAMMED “RASSCAR” upon Juan Pablo Montoya’s decision to become a “good ole boy” last July, comes word that Ray Evernham has offered Schumacher the opportunity to test drive one of his team’s race cars anytime…

Perhaps Evernham is trying to make everybody forget about last year’s acrimonious riff between ex- Evernham driver Jeremy Mayfield and himself? You don’t remember Mayfield's accusing Evernham of spending too much quality time with female protégé Erin Krocker and not enough time focusing upon the race team…

Hey, can I help it? If you spend any lengthy amount of time watching the SPEED channel you’re bound to see something on “RASSCAR…” As it’s ALWAYS the top story on The Speed Report…

The new Prancing Horse

While the fanfare of Kimi “spottings” in Scuderia crimson has faded as Ferrari knuckles down to the task of winter testing. It’s amazing what happens as soon as one of Formula 1’s all time greatest drivers leaves the fold.

Ferrari is declaring that the Scuderia will start the season with both of its racing drivers on equal terms to compete for the championship. This is unlike the Schumacher era where his teammate was definitely the number two driver…

Ferrari F2007

Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro held a very low key launch of its 2007 challenger yesterday at its Fiarono test track. The only glimpses of the new chassis were supplied by Ferrari’s media center…

Ferrari has also once again changed the chassis model’s name, reverting back to earlier practice with the launch of the F2007…

To read about Toyota's 2007 Launch, see: Toyota TF107

A Brawny Ferrari?

Although it’s been widely speculated for some time now, Ross Brawn has finally publicly stated that he hopes to return to the Prancing Horse in 2008…

Brawn who was Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro’s Technical Director for 10 years decided to take a sabbatical at the end of the 2006 Formula 1 season…

Brawn departed along with Ferrari’s engine guru Paolo Martinelli, upon Michael Schumacher’s retirement. Brawn now hopes to return to Ferrari in 2008 most likely as Jean Todt’s replacement as Team Principal…

Schuey grabs Gold

No, not all of his gold bars in his Switzerland bank accounts…
Basking in the limelight of his hastened retirement, Michael Schumacher was recently presented a Gold Medal of Motorsport at the Salle des Etoiles, Monaco Sporting Club FIA gala alongside Sir Stirling Moss…
Schumacher has also recently been made an honorary citizen of Maranello…

Todt advises Kimi on Drinking

Although Kimi Raikkonen has not officially been released from his McLaren contract, Jean todt has already given his opinions on the young Finn’s reputation for indulging in all night drinking binges in an interview with the French media…
Todt explained that Raikkonen will be even more in the spotlight as a Ferrari driver and that if he wishes to partake in a few rounds of Johnnie Walker with friends then Ferrari would prefer him to do so discretely. Todt is hoping that Raikkonen can mold his moniker “The Iceman” to spill over into his extra-curricular off track activities. Perhaps Raikkonen will switch his choice of beverages from Vodka to either Uzo or Grappa…

Gene Continues

Ferrari has signed Marc Gene to continue as a Ferrari test driver for 2007. Yet with the new testing restrictions going into effect next season, it’s unknown just how much testing Gene will do…

Ferrari Rearranges F1 Team Structure

As expected, upon Michael Schumacher’s retirement from Formula One, Ferrari has made several changes towards key positions of its F1 racing team. Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro’s top staff: Jean Todt, Ross Brawn and Paolo Martinelli have all changed positions with Ferrari’s F1 team taking on a more Italian “feel.” Chief Mechanic Nigel Stefany has announced his retirement while Michael Schumacher has been appointed assistant to Jean Todt…

Il Wurld der Schuey

Talk about marketing genius… Or how to start your retirement? What better way then to have your own island? Apparently this is exactly the case for freshly departed Michael Schumacher. Not to be confused with the “World ‘O Schuey” which is located in Michael’s hometown of Kerpen. Instead Michael has been given an Island further east…

Schumacher’s Last Dance

It’s still hard to believe the day has finally arrived… Alas, all racing drivers must eventually retire. (Or slide into mediocrity) Although Michael Schumacher has had a season filled with some very strange mistakes, Michael has also scored 7 wins. Can it really be 15 years ago that I watched Michael make his sensational Grand Prix debut for Privateer Eddie Jordan at Spa-Francorchamps…?
As the sport’s “elder statesman” at the age of 37, Michael still seems hugely motivated to achieve victory and secure further World Championships. Was he forced to retire by the arrival of Kimi Raikkonen? As with Ferrari’s recent engine failure, we’ll never know the answer…
Unfortunately with one race to go Michael’s bid for a record 8th World Championship seems to have been extinguished with his devastating engine failure in Japan…
It appears that Fernando Alonso is poised to become Formula One’s youngest two times World Champion at age 25. All Fernando must do is finish in the points. An 8th place finish or better will do the trick. Michael must win the race with Fernando finishing 9th or worse…
Michael definitely needs some assistance to clinch the title in his final Grand Prix, look for Michael to simply dominate…Will Fernando’s Renault engine falter? Or even better go “KABLAMOE!” Highly unlikely... Will Fernando’s right rear tire nut fall off again? NO! Renault has fired the mechanic who’d had two occurrences of this… Therefore wouldn’t it be ironic if Michael’s “little” brother “Ralfie” nudged Fernando out of a points scoring position…
Unfortunately, it was Michael’s turn for shenanigans as he made a typically brilliant pass of Giancarlo Fisichella. Giancarlo earned his pay by slicing his front nose end plate against Michael’s rear tire… This incident forced Michael to pit for new tires, dropping to 18th place. Yet Michael showed why he’s won seven titles by fighting his way back to the front of the field. Michael snagged his 76th fastest race lap on route to a superb 4th place finish, passing his replacement Kimi Raikkonen with four laps remaining…

Italian Engineering

Many of us are still in shock over Michael Schumacher’s engine failure in Japan last week. Why did Michael’s Ferrari V-8 engine detonate? Especially since this was Michael’s first race engine failure in 6 years. (France, 2000) Of course we’ll never know the exact reason, nor will Ferrari be willing to divulge the cause. Ferrari has only disclosed that it was a top end failure and there was no warning…
Speculation centers on maximum engine revolutions and whether or not Michael was exceeding these prior to the detonation? Or did Ferrari instructed Michael to “turn up the wick” in a calculated risk to gain a larger gap prior to Michael’s final pit st0p?
Interestingly this year’s engine rules allow for teams to modulate their maximum engine revs, excluding Scuderia Toro Rosso’s rev-limited Cosworth V-10. This allows for teams such as Ferrari to play with peak engine RPM’s during the race weekend. Perhaps running to or above 20,000 RPM’s during qualifying. (Which teams are currently doing) Therefore the FIA has instituted a new maximum RPM limit of 19,000 RPM’s for 2007, which must be accomplished mechanically. This bans the use of RPM modulation through the use of any electronics…
It is certainly possible that Michael was running to a higher (20,000 RPM) rev-limit than normal for race distance when his engine went “KABLAMOE!” Only Ferrari knows…

During last week’s tests at Jerez, Michael topped the time sheets in preparation for the season’s finale at Interlagos. There is speculation that Ferrari will use “tweaked” engines in Brazil as they have nothing to loose… Michael will be able to use a new engine for the single remaining race. This will allow Ferrari to utilize a higher revving engine since it doesn’t have to worry about the usual two race weekend distance rule. Apparently rival F1 teams reported that Michael was running at 20,000 RPM’s in Jerez…