So, what about Bob?

(Jenkins in Studio; Source: Bob Jenkins racing.com)

I am not really sure what triggered the insult posted on the world wide web thingy directed at Versus lead commentator Bob Jenkins... Nor do I plan to go ‘N search for it, as I feel it was unwarranted, since I listened/watched the entire Sao Paolo telecast and I thought that all three announcers did fine! Although I’m not sure what to think about that “Hippy Dippy” Weatherman, a one Messer BRUT Arute-Arute... As I’m actually looking forward to having “LyndieCar” Thackston and Robbie “Purple” Floyd back on the show...

So, I don’t know if Y’all are getting’ tired of Mwah remindin’ yuhs that I’m a Visually Impaired ‘Vurd Botcherer... But I only bring this up to illustrate the point that for myself the “Talking Heads” are a very integral part of my continued Motorsports coverage, as obviously they “Paint” the Picture for me and thus I depend on decent Broadcasters covering the action to fill in the details for me...

I’ve been listening to Mr. Jenkins (amongst others...) for a very long time now, as in way back to his RPM2Night Dazes, when ESPN actually broadcasted other racing series besides RASSCAR... And I’ve always found him to be a credible Broadcaster, not to mention becoming convinced of how much of a Class Act he is by the multiple times he’s dropped into AutoSport Radio to give another enjoyable interview.

And perhaps it was just me, but I thought that Professor Jon Beekhuis ‘N Robbie Buhl did the majority of the talking Sunday morning, to the point where Buhl’s voice became raspy from his excessive chatter... As Robbie ‘N Jon bantered back “N forth over what strategy should Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay employ towards the stalking Ryan ‘Disco Inferno Briscoe... To which Bob seemingly steered clear of.

And my only critique of Messer Jenkins performance would be that somewhere in the middle? He seemed to have a “DW” moment where he momentarily swooned over something Princess Sparkle Pony was doing, but I can’t even recall what that was?

Nah, Mr. Jenkins, you Sir do NOT need to apologize... As I rather appreciate the way you lead the In-Booth Crew, even going so far as to admit on air that you don’t try to stop the two ex-drivers consternations, a la Mike Hull’s self appointed “Mediator” role at TCGR, which I’m certain is by design...

Next up will be Marty “Nationwide” Reid and Scott “What Pace Car” Goodyear... Which means most likely a veritable Slobber-fest over DannaCar’s every move, which means I’ll most likely need to tune-in to Mike “Yippee-Kai-Eh!” King and Davey Hamilton on the IMS Radio Network instead, as long as IndyCar.com can bother to post the correct New York time!

Oh, and lastly, another thing I appreciated was Bob Jenkins actually reading off the Row-by-Row Starting Grid instead of running it on some little tiny ticker tape stripe upon le Telescreen, So later today I’ll raise a Guinness in a Toast to you Bob! So, don’t fret, I’ll be back for the next Versus broadcast...

Jenkins is the Man

BAT Wings unfurled

(BAT IndyCar rendering; Source: nextindycar-wordpress.com)

Coming live from its Bat lair situated somewheres in Indiana… The “5th Wheel” of New 2012 Indy Car’s has finally tipped its hands by releasing the rendering above, along with the launching of it’s new website/blog page, as the story was originally broken by Racecar Engineering.

Fifth firm to reveal Indycar 2012 concept next week

And I’ll defer to “Mr. CHiPs, nee Chris Estrada’s post for more background on the project, since he’s gone to the effort of divulging the image and website info for this story.

The BAT soars

And although I’m adamantly against the notion of covered wheels, wheel fairings or in the BAT’s case the boxed in sidepods, nevertheless I have to say I like their sketch way better then the Delta Wing’s.

Yet I’m not sure why this just finally hit me, or that I haven’t heard one single discussion over it, BUTT! How in the HELL are they gonna do those “lightning-fast” Pit stops with covered rear wheels? I mean how do you change tyres? As in has anybody looked into the problems Formula 1 had recently with its now fortunately BANNED wheel spats… Which were intended to provide front brake cooling, yet caused several tyre issues, as in those black majik rings disembarking the chassis… So, this seems like another potential recipe for problems… And what happens if/when a tyre bursts during racing, as in isn’t this just another way of potentially introducing more shrapnel to be discarded from the chassis, although I’d have to assume this has already been studied?

BLAME KANA-DUH!

Canadian COOL Dude Brian McKeever

Otay, so I’ve waited until Canada’s euphoria over winning the big ice match has hopefully somewhat subsided, as I’ve tried to keep from getting overly emotional about this, BUTT! As a visually impaired ‘Vurd Botcherer, nee Hack, Scribe or Blogger… Take your pick; I’M PISSED OFF at Canada!

While the country above me reveled in the ecstasy of winning the big Hockey game… I’d been counting down to the day’s other race on the final day of the Winter Games, the Men’s 50k Cross Country event that was to potentially see history being made when the very first Blind Athlete, nonetheless from Canada competed in the Alpine event, after Calgary’s Brian McKeever had been selected as a member of Canada’s Olympics’ squad by winning an able body qualifying event…

Thus, upon going from the highest high’s of staying up late to see The Peacock, nee NBC milk the SHIT outta Steve Holcomb ‘N Team USA winning Gold aboard the Night Train, I’d learned that Brian McKeever had been told on the eve of his historic outing, that he’d been given the ‘Boot and wouldn’t be competing in the following day’s Men’s Cross Country relay…

So all I can say which is PG-Rated is SHAME ON YOU CANADA! As they claimed it wasn’t a Publicity Stunt by selecting the Blind Athlete as a member of their Team… But then when it came down to brass tacts, sorry Brian, but we really wanna win the event and you’re our weakest link!

This coming from a nation who created the Terry Fox award for these very Olympics, which was co-awarded to Joannie Rochette & Petra Majdic for demonstrating the enduring spirit of Mr. Fox, (not to mention Canada’s other national hero Rick Hansen…) along with the host city itself having elected a wheelchair bound Quadriplegic named Sam Sullivan to be its Mayor when the Winter Games were initially awarded…

Majdic, Rochette recipients of Terry Fox award

So, in case you cannot tell, I have a really big problem with Canada’s attitude towards denying Brian McKeever his place in the History Books, along with getting to play in the snow enroute to becoming the very first Blind Athlete to compete in the normal Olympics, which I’ve naively thought was the whole spirit of the games, yet I’ve obviously come to understand their true meanings by dubbing them the COMMERCIALYMPICS!

But I’m still extremely disappointed by Canada, who I’ve come to believe is a very progressive nation, while I’m touched by McKeever’s continuous uplifting spirit, while although he only has 10% of his normal vision remaining, nevertheless, he had his sideburns fashioned into Hockey Sticks! (Talk ‘bout national spirit, eh!) While his older brother marvels at his tenacity to pursue his dream of making the Olympic Team by persevering through the chilliness outdoors whilst riding the bus to and from weekly practice sessions.

For a Legally Blind Cross-Country Skier, a Triumphant Perspective

Oh Whale, hopefully Brian will kick ARSE in the upcoming Kuh-Naidiun Paralympics which run from March 11th thru March 21st.

And ironically, or was that karmically? I’m told that on the day in question, the weather was so bad (foggy) that they were probably ALL skiing blind!

And whilst surfing le internets for another photo of my new “Role Model,” I was very disturbed to have the very first story to pop-up, regarding Hate Mail being sent to McKeever’s Olympic teammates… As after all it was NOT their faults, it was the Canadian Olympic Team Organization’s… As I’m NOT even sure I can blame their coach for making the decision to exclude McKeever, eh?

So Good Luck Brian!

Taku rides again

There seems to be some unrest over Japanese racer Takuma Sato’s installation at KV Racing Technology this season, in lieu of the apparent lack of Yanks contesting the Indy Car Series…

Yet I find Taku-san to be quite refreshing, as no less then Team Co-Owner JV had the following to say during last week’s Open Test.

Jimmy Vasser
"He's polite, he's smart and he's really fast"
(Source: Robin Miller; speedtv.com)

And I’ve always enjoyed Taku’s On track performances, with my most favourite moment being when upon making a Banzai pass upon an aging DC, (David Coulthard) as the Square-jawed Scot exasperatingly told the upstart Japanese Piloto afterwards: “I would have NEVER made that pass…” (In that situation) Sato eagerly snapped back: “I KNOW!” As I believe this was during Taku’s BAR-Honda days?

Then Takuma also had the nerve to overtake his ex-Teammate and future F1 World Champion ‘JENSE at no less the mighty Spa Francorchamps in his lowly ‘B-Team “Super Best Friends” (Super Aguri) racecar, which at the time was outperforming the lowly “Works” Honda racecar Button was driving…

And imagine the fact that upon Taku’s being replaced by ‘Rubino in the Honda F1 Team, that local Japanese dissent was so vocal that Honda decided to help Aguri Suzuki set-up a satellite Grand Prix Organization provided with Factory lumps just in order to keep the overly popular Sato in Formula 1!

I mean imagine if there was such a similar groundswell for Ed Carpenter? Nah, too many DAMN people only wanna know what DannaCar’s doing now.

So I for one am looking very forward to seeing Taku-san kick some ARSE On track this season, along with winning Rookie of the Year Honours! Now does anybody know if Taku likes Snakes?

KV Racing Technology Barber Open Test notes

Time running out on USF1?

Unfortunately it seems that time; money & faith are running out upon the beleaguered USF1 Team, as speculation continues to rampantly swirl over the upstart American Formula 1 Team’s impending demise…

With wild speculation covering all ranges of the map, from Chad Hurley having left the building to trying to do a deal with rivals Campos Meta and Zoran Stefanović to merge the two Operations, to Ken ‘N Pete blocking his attempts… As Stefanović now has put out another barb publicly about Dreamers at USF1 and how somebody should be in a big trouble if there’s an empty spot upon this year’s Formula 1 Grid… Can you say FIA? (OOPS! Sorry FIA, we really didn’t mean that, as Stefan GP has now posted a supposed apology…)

Meanwhile Stefan GP has also publicly stated how its bulk container has arrived in Bahrain, even giving out the DHL packaging tracking slip details and claims its ready to debut its Ahem! Completed racecar… Although claims suggest that only ONE chassis has been completed, with requisite spares desperately sparse, as there’s a bit of reluctance to press ahead without an Official entry…

And this is also the same outfit that needed to cancel its planned Test session at Portimao due to the fact that the Team has NO proper Bridgestone rubber!

Meanwhile we’re all awaiting to see what Jean Todt ‘N the FIA do over USF1’s entry now that its Technical Delegate Charlie whiting has been to Charlotte to view first hand exactly what is going on there… As in can they really build a racecar in time for Barcelona or are they simply too busy making Toasters instead?

And while USF1 has NO Driver’s to go along with its missing Type 1 Racecar’s, Stefan GP is supposedly poised to announce Jacques Villeneuve as Kazuki Nakajima’s teammate aboard their Shiny red S01’s propelled by rebadged Toyota ‘lumps… Now if somebody could just convince Bridgestone to give them a couple ‘O sets of tyres, eh? Hmm? Why does that remind me of another upstart F1 Team named Toleman and Pirelli?

Meanwhile last night on The Speed Report (TSR) Bob Varsha noted that USF1 has now asked the FIA for deferral of its 2010 F1 entry until the 2011 season and that Ken Anderson and Chad Hurley are willing to back that up with a 7-figure bond, while I certainly hope I’m NOT reading too much into this… But Varsha failed to mention his friend Peter Windsor’s name, while Dave Despain mused cryptic thoughts about how The House ‘O Windsor may not even be involved anymore? Or is this just more media mastery crafted by USF1’s Sporting Director?

So it appears to be crunch time as the F1 Circus will shortly be packing its Bags, not to mention 40’ Containers along with those all important racecar’s for shipping to Bahrain, as will it be 11, 12 or 13 Formula 1 Constructors taking part in the seasons opening Grand Prix?

Chip’s Delta Wang World Tour runs afowl!

Apparently The Cheepster, nee chip Ganassi, was busy celebrating his recent Roundy-round DayToner 647 victory, along with perhaps combining a little business with some pleasure? By beating the ALL YUHS NEEDS TO KNOW – BY GUMMIT! IS WHAT I TELLS YUHS… World Tour over his much ballyhooed Delta Wang thingy-muh-jig… Err excuse me rocket Sledcar!

As according to TSR this past Sunday evening, Chip suffered a couple of broken ribs whilst navigating the powdery stuff skiing. Mmmm…. Sprinkles! Although there was no word upon where it happened or if Messer’s Kalkhoven ‘N George were present?

And NO! I have NOT changed my tune upon the Delta Wang (Putang) thingy ‘Juan iota… Nor do I intend to, as it simply DEFEATS the purpose of what Open Wheel Racing is supposed to be… As in FOUR ‘COUNT-EM 4 OPEN/Exposed majik rings… Preferably black rubber without any gimmicky sidewall colouring, which is making it hard for me to know what to think over the initial reports about the BAT project…

Yet I do have to say that the related image by an unknown source in Pop Off valve’s story is somewhat more palatable then the original Flying V Tricycle shaped Klingon-mobile.

Indy Car fan's designs changing opinions about the DeltaWing

As Y’all will never guess what the Topic du Jour was on last week’s Trackside with Cavin ‘N Kevin, on which I had to pull the plug as it got overly dronish on trying to Pooh-Pooh the Naysayers over the Delta Wang thingy… As how many covered wheels belong visible on an Open Wheel Racing Car?

Can you say ZERO!

As the more people I hear trying to be overly neutral, nee PC over Chip’s Delta Wing project, the more I conjure up images of a PIG with lipstick!

Yet interestingly, Cavin pointed out that one of the few current ICS Team Owners who wasn’t onboard the Good Ship Ganassi, was none other then a one Mr. Roger Penske, so it would be interesting to know just exactly how many Team Owners really were behind the Cheepster, as in behind this project and not On track as Cavin coyly noted.

Yet I still DON’T get-it??? As in the need to SCREW-UP Open Wheel Racing by picking some Buck Rogers Podmobile Phalanx LSR contraction to continue racing in 2012… I mean if it’s so necessary then why HASN’T Formula 1 felt the need to implement some sorta futuristic tricyclemobile, eh? Or put a myriad of florescent lighting on their racecar’s sidepods?

You can read my elongated thoughts upon the Delta Wang thingy here,
So what really is the story behind Project Delta Wing?

Then again, BEWARE! I’m ‘Juan of ‘Dem 40yrs Olds Somethings-aruthers with a Confuzer… Not to mention being a verrittble ‘Vurd Botcherer, nee Blogger! So uze may wannas consults your neighbor’s 10yrs olds insteads, eh? As who knows, perhaps young Johnny will be more enlightened on the matter… If his Pappy is willing to take him to the racetrack?

Where are the Yanks?

Apparently yesterday Mr. Chrome Horn, nee Paul Tracy set off a firestorm upon twitter with his comments towards only four Yanks being on the grid, while he, Buddy Rice and Graham Rahal all sat at home, and he hoped we enjoyed it! while Curt Cavin has now reported that “The Son ‘O Stash” (Graham Rahal) is now throwing the N-CUP word around, claiming he’ll definitely not be at the season opening Brazil Indy Car race…

So why all of the massive grumblings over the potential loss of American Open Wheel Drivers in Indy Car? I mean this isn’t an exactly new phenomena, which I’ll hazard a guess is partially a result of something known as The Split!

But I applaud Stephanie’s take on the matter the best… As in why AREN’T Top 500 American Companies stepping up to the plate instead? Or is it simply related to the fact that there simply isn’t enough Bang for the Almighty buck in Open Wheel Racing? I mean after all RASSCAR’s on FOX, TNT and ESPN/ABC, with 1,497hrs coverage of DayToner on SPEED alone… Not to mention that every 6min a commercial break is run during the 14hr Preamble, with Drivers trained to profusely spew out their obligatory list of corporate donor’s every 69 seconds… So how can Indy Car currently compete?

Its time to revise our definition of ride-buying

And back in the late 1980’s – early 1990’s (Yeah, I know I’m dating myself here…) we had the last vestiges of the great Hatfield’s vs. McCoy’s, Err Unser vs. Andretti duel with ‘Lil Al racing against Mikey, not to mention names like Bobby Rahal, Rick Mears and Danny Sullivan…

And yet apparently History is repeating itself once again? As recall that one of Champ Car’s guiding lights was the rediscovered AJ Almendinger, whom after being let go from RuSport after failing to live-up to Carl Russo’s expectations, was snapped-up by Gerald Forsythe and subsequently went on a tear winning five races alongside PT at Forsythe Racing, even being labeled a future Championship contender. Yet Gerald Forsythe was unwilling to put-up the necessary Dinero to compete with the call of a Foreign backed Tin Top Team, as Almendinger, who some had nicknamed “Wall-Dinger” prior to his renaissance at Forsythe bolted for the lure of a 3yr, $9 million deal to race a Red Bull Toyota Camry in RASSCAR instead…

Now is this AJ’s fault? Or is it Gerald Forsythe’s fault for being too stingy? (Ask Tracy how those contract dealings went…) Or is it simply the harsh reality of a Racing Driver’s relatively short window of opportunity… While I’m certain there’s a reason that Mr. Forsythe is a Multi-millionaire and I’m not!

As I certainly DON’T have the answers, nor will I try to answer them… Although I find it absolutely pathetic that McDonald’s quickly pulled the plug upon funding NHLR after its Patriarch Paul Newman left the Building, instead wishing to ‘Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge, focus upon the Olympics… Of which I’ve taken to calling the COMMERCIALYPICS… Which in turn sees its own share of disparity between certain American athletes, as in the Ski Jumping members have to pay their own way, while Geoff Bodine stepped-up to the plate for the Bobsledders…

Do we need Graham Rahal to stay in Indy Car? HELL YES! And it seems absolutely PATHETIC that NO American Corporation is willing to jump behind him… Especially since Indy Car costs only a fraction of what it takes to run Down South, like in one-third the amount? Ok, at least 50% less…

But its also bothersome that John Edwards has decided to go race a Mazda RX8 in the Grand Am GT class instead, which I don’t know if that has anything to do with Edwards being politely told he’s not experienced enough to run with the ‘Big Boyz...

So, yeah it would be excellent to see Ed Carpenter, Rice, Rahal and even ‘Ol PT all with fulltime gigs in Indy Cars this year and beyond, but it AIN’T gonna happen, and as far as I know the Kuh-Nucks aren’t whimpering over only having one fulltime driver this year, eh?

Mergification

If I’ve done my homework correctly, then today is the 2yr Birthday of that storied Open Wheel Racing Mergification ceremony hosted on SPEED TV, where Kevin “Smiley Face”Kalkhoven and Tony “I WON!” George announced the long overdue reunification of Open Wheel Racing in the US, after what is known as The Split came to an end after an acrimonious 12+ years as the frenzied Popperatzi’s flash bulbs continuously took pictures of Kevin and Tony shaking hands jubilantly.

But it’s been a wild ‘N wooly two years since this ridiculously overdrawn affair occurred, (the merger) as I’ll leave Y’all to ponder if Open Wheel Racing is better off or worse today?

Of the crumbling Champ Car World Series Dynasty, only a handful of Teams still exist in the Indy Car Series today, as Gerald Forsythe is nowhere to be seen, having left Mr. Chrome Horn, nee Paul Tracy High ‘N Dry… While Paul Gentilozzi is now busy trying to resurrect Jaguar’s Sports Car legacy with his RSR GT2 program.

Kevin Kalkhoven along with partner Jimmy Vasser continue trying to mold KV Racing Technology into a front runner in IndyCar, with a revolving cast of Drivers, including The Thrill from the West Hill, (Paul Tracy) whose been moonlighting for them the past two seasons.

Derrick Walker who planned to merge with the IRL seemingly got the Shaft when business partner Craig Gore took his Aussie Vineyards sponsorship and prized driver Will Power to KVRT instead, leaving the longtime CART, Champ Car and IRL Team Owner holding the Bag… As scuttlebutt now suggests that the venerable Scotsman may be trying to work a deal with Robby Gordon for a return to The Speedway this May?

Eric Bachelart has been fighting gamely to stay afloat with his low-bucks conquest Racing Organization, as he continues to bravely field a lone single car entry with a cast of assorted racing drivers, having unfortunately bought brand new Panoz DP1’s just prior to the merger! Yet Bachelart plans to contest 2010 and hopefully Jan “Van Hagar” Heylan will be back in the seat for the fast approaching season? Or will it be “Moana Vye’s” Tomas Scheckter?

Carl Russo and his upstart RuSport Racing Team have long since left the fight, with signature driver AJ Almendinger going’ south to pursue a Tin top career, first for Red Bull before some ex-F1 Piloto named Scott Speed replaced him, with AJ now racing for Richard Petty Motorsports.

AJ’s teammate was a chap affectionately known here at No Fenders as Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson, who is one of only two Champ Car drivers to have won an event in Indy Car’s… Can you name the other? (He’s currently seeking a ride…) While the final Hotschue to drive for the amalgamation between Rocketsports Racing and RuSport, which became RSPORTS alongside Wilson, was ‘TAG, a.k.a. Alex Tagliani, who will now drive for the brand new FAZZT Race Team in 2010.

Minardi Team USA, which was a combination of the plucky “Aussie” Paul Stoddart and veteran Champ Car Team Owner Keith Wiggins, who’d run the ex-Tony Bettenhausen Operation under multiple guises, including a stint with Cedric The Entertainer, ran a well oiled machine that saw Open Wheel upstart Bad Bobby D, a.k.a. Robert Doornbos to two wins, third in the overall standings and the series final rookie of the Year honours, as well as being one of the few drivers besides PT to get underneath The Hamburgular’s skin, while his teammate was the blazing fast, crash prone Dan “Speedy-Dry” Clarke.

And while apparently Stoddart is in the Outback on a Walkabout, Wiggins joined the Party in 2008 as HVM Racing and looks set to run Doornbos once again this season, although it’s unclear if a second car will be run? As apparently the long arm of the IHJ, nee Brian Braveheart has given the Black flag to the “Swiss Miss” female Atlantics Standout Simona de Silvestro, who tested for the Team at Sebring and reportedly was quite impressive…

Seeming to have possibly lost their way is the once mighty Newman Haas Racing Team, which moved to the IRL under the auspices of Newman Haas Lanigan Racing, with Justin Wilson replacing departed 4-Time Champ Car Champion Sebastian Bourdais, (The Hamburgular) who was seeking greener pastures in the rarefied world of Formula 1, while The Son ‘O Stash, a.k.a. Graham Rahal was trying to master the art of Oval racing at NHLR, who now apparently is without a ride while the Team is seeking sponsorship, Err dare I say it? Paying Drivers... Although I’d be happy to see Alex ‘Pink Lloyd Shine-On, along with Heideki Mutoh continuing his Dream of being an Indy Car Driver with NHLR, although I still say Milka-licious in the number Double Zero is too much to pass-up for me… (Just wishful thinking, as I know she’s a No. 23 CITGO Girl Thru ‘N Thru…)

Dale Coyne, the proverbial Little Team that Could! Finally broke its Duck with Justin Wilson’s second Indy Car victory last year at Watkins Glen, after a 25yr victory drought, and will be known as the only driver to win in 2009 besides Penske ‘N TCGR. Although Justin has now jumped to Team England, Err Dryer & Reinbold Racing, while DCR expects to have two full time entries, with hopefully Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter and whom some are calling Captain America, nee J.R. Hildebrand at the controls.

And lets not forget the handful of Champ Car Drivers who never got their fair shot in this much vaunted single seater series, as names such as Simon Pagenaud, Ryan Dalziel, Andrew Ranger, Katherine Legge, (The Other Danica) Oriel Servia and David Martinez come to mind. (HELL! I suppose I need to even mention Bruno “WINEYBAGS” Junqueira here, eh?) Not to mention Mario “Boom-Boom” Dominguez, Jan “Van Hagar” Heylen, Nelson Philippe, Neil Jani and “Christian Comedy,” (Tristan Gommendy) or “Shorty,” a.k.a. Cristiano Da Matta…

And yeah, I realize this story is lopsided, as where’s Darren “DangerMouse” Manning, buddy “Hot Rod” Rice, Townsend Bell, Arie Luyendyk Jr., etc. Not to mention that Ed Carpenter looks to be sitting on the sidelines, Hmm? Perhaps he could seek refuge at DCR?

And notice how I didn’t say anything ‘bout tony George being gone from Indy Car’s pressdog…

But Hey! Let’s get Ready to Rumble… As its almost time to go racing! Not to mention the barking of those fire breathing Honda powered Ethanol lumps being uncorked in Sweet Home Alabama… At Barber Motorsports Park, where a bunch of other drivers will participate with Princess this February 24-26 in preparations for the IndyCar Season Opener in Sao Paolo, Brazil on March 14th, which Y’all can watch on Versus with Bob Jenkins, Robbie Buhl and “Professor” Jon Beekhuis in the Announce Booth, while “LyndieCar,” (Lindy Thackston) Robbie ‘Purple Floyd ‘N BRUT Arute-Arute will potentially be trolling the Pit lane, albeit I’m not sure about the Sao Paolo race which probably will be a remote broadcast with just Messer Jack Arute on location? As I haven’t heard of any Airtimes yet.

And oh yeah, by the way, I think only Justin Wilson and Graham Rahal have won races in Indy Car since 2008, when reunification began for the URGH! “Transition Teams… As after all it was a TAKEOVER, not a Merger! But Hey, I’m looking forward to the 2010 IZOD IndyCar Series, as it sure BEATS the HELL outta some ‘lil ‘Ol Roundy-round SpinCar series, or You-know-Who and her 24/7 media circus! NO? DON’T know who ‘Dat is? Whale just look for the flock ‘O media circle in Birmingham…

So what really is the story behind Project Delta Wing?

I find it very interesting that I’ve now been approached by three of the four entities regarding the Delta Wing Indy Car project, although I suppose I should clarify that only Swift and Lola (twice!) have actually sent Press Releases to the No Fenders mailbox, while a third party simply seemed intent upon soliciting some positive “Spin” (my assumption) regarding the Delta Wing project with an offer of video footage of the Chicago Auto show unveiling.

And I find that I’m not able to sit back ‘N let things sink in before speaking, or in this case typing away somewhat furiously, (or is that laboriously?) as I’ve already given my initial thoughts upon the Delta Wang thingy, as in IT SUCKS!

Indy Car’s newest racer unveiled

Thus I decided to tune into the Kevin ‘N Cavin Trackside Show last Thursday night to see what the Pied Pipers of IndyCar Racing had to say. (Although apparently Kevin was forsaking Indiana’s snow in favour of the tropical Bahamas’…) As I must admit I was quite impressed with Curt Cavin’s abilities to remain overly neutral towards this most fervent subject, as a wry smirk came over my face when he told his first guest Ben Bowlby that there were some names towards the project he’d refrain from mentioning… As Meesh’s Ode to the Penis Car immediately sprang to mind!

Now I’m not an Aficionado on the history of Indy Cars, as I’ve only been following them since 1985-ish, so I don’t know all of the history behind them, Err Mr. Donald Davidson is on line one… Although a reoccurring theme seems to be innovation, which many claim has been lost over the past decade, as I’m starting to grow overly tired of the EXCUSE towards NOT being able to allow more than one manufacturer’s design, which I’ll go out on a limb and say the majority, including myself are pining for… As I understand the economic reality behind this, but let’s be truthful and admit that a monopoly is always the best business practice possible!

Thus I don’t know if Streamliners raced at The Brickyard in the years prior to the Rear Engine revolution, but I do know that Formula 1, arguably the pinnacle of Motorsport ultimately OUTLAWED Streamliners, nee closed coupe bodywork after the all conquering Mercedes W196 of the mid 1950’s era. Other advances in technology have also been BANNED over the following decades, such as four wheel drive, active suspension, launch & traction control, four wheel steering, ABS, Fly By Wire/Digital controls and four rear driven wheels (along with six wheeler’s) to name a few items that would potentially advance the commercial innovations of Automobiles. Not to mention the recently scrapped KERS systems, as the “Greening” of Motorsports is another topic I’ll need to sit down and get off of my chest someday, eh?

So I’m sure that Ben Bowlby is quite the accomplished Engineer, having after all designed the Lola B2K which resurrected Lola’s floundering Champ Car prospects after being beaten into submission by the all conquering Reynard Chassis. Yet, Bowlby himself admitted what I consider the key fault in the Delta Wing’s design process, by stating that in every aspect of his radical design: Form follows Function and it was NOT a styling exercise which is quite obvious to my somewhat jaundiced eye.

Cavin’s other guests were Keith Wiggins, Head Honcho of HVM Racing, the newly hired IndyCar CEO Randy Bernard and Dental Plan Dan “Spike” Wheldon, to which I enjoyed Wiggins comments toward knowing absolutely that Bowlby’s designs work and are quite track worthy. Although Wiggins did confess that the Indy Racing League has to keep in mind it, like almost every stateside racing series is in the Entertainment Business.

Which makes it even harder to swallow for myself, (GROAN!) the fact that the 800lb Gorilla, nee NASCAR (which I DESPISE!) has acknowledged that it is an Entertainment based series and thus is IMPORTANT to give the Fans what they want, as in the return of bump drafting, larger restrictor plates and the return of the rear spoiler, instead of the somewhat futuristic rear wing as they attempt to turn around the SS RASSCAR from the current TV ratings iceberg in order to keep their lofty position in North America…

And Randy Bernard claims he’d like to use Focus Groups to help direct the future of the Indy Car Series, which if Cavin’s claims of negative responses towards the Delta Wing concept running at a rate of 100-1 are true, then Indy: We’ve got a Problem! While Danny Boy (Wheldon) simply put on his ‘Dancin Shues and gave Cavin the ‘Ol Driver-speak “Soft Schue” Positive Spin toe dance…

As I cannot fathom The Cheepster, a.k.a. Chip Ganassi simply setting Bowlby loose to conjure up the future of Indy Car’s just to see what he can come up with? As chip doesn’t exactly have a reputation of throwing out blank checques… Unless it’s his subtle way of trying (Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge!) to put his own indelible stamp upon the future direction of Open Wheel Racing, to which I give credit to Cavin for asking Wiggins the obvious… What happens if the Delta wing project is voted down by the IRL as it seemingly has a twinge of CART’s previous Owners vs. Sanctioning Body feel, to which Keith could only retort the obvious; that another Split is definitely not a valid option.

Thus I cannot tell if this is some sort of mythical bargaining “Chip,” nor is there some more twisted evil plot behind it? Or even worse yet, That Roger ‘N Chip are pissing themselves silly at us right now... While I do have to admit that Tony G’s Mergification was long overdue.

On another tangent that I don’t believe has been discussed yet? What in the HELL will these new cars sound like? As history notes that a large portion of this series luster is engine noise, harkening with such diversity as the scream of the Supercharged Millers, to the almighty Whoosh mobile, (the mighty Pratt & Whitney Turbine engine) the ubiquitous ‘OFFY’s, (Offenhauser) or the all time Fan pleasers, those thundering Novi’s. (Of which I’ve never heard any of the above) Yet, as a visually impaired Fan of Open Wheel Racing, sound, smell and colours have become the reality of my racing universe, as I fear the future of the starkly quiet George Jetson Astrocar era… While I applauded Indy Lights crankshaft reconfiguration to fix the hideous sounding Indy Pro Series tractormobiles!

Which brings me to another comment towards the Swift proposal which I was unaware of until Curt brought it up… And I have to say right off the bat it sounds way too GIMICKY! As he mentioned something about a novel lighting system to be mounted upon the sidepods to show us car position, braking, acceleration, etc. DON’T GO THERE Swift, Please!

Yet if you haven’t caught my subtlety yet, by far my biggest COMPLAINT towards the Buck Rogers Star Wars Pod-mobile looking contraption called the Delta Wing is it’s NOT an Open Wheel Racing Car! As I DON’T play video games, DON’T wanna see a bunch of Pod Racers SILENTLY skimming around levitated racing tracks or have to give into the whimsical demands of the sought for 18-35yr old Demographic… who I suspect DON’T know what they really want anyways? I mean C’mon, if I wanna see some really bad IndyCar Racing, all I’ve gotta do is throw on my Dolby DX Surround sound laserdisc copy of Driven! (OUCH!!!) And why is it the more I conjure up visions of the tricycle podlike Delta Wang thingy that the word Klingon comes to mind?

Interestingly, Formula 1 was going through a somewhat similar situation a few years ago whilst trying to solve the dilemma of spectator’s perceived notion that there wasn’t enough overtaking in Grand Prix racing, which one solution that the FIA Technical Working Group came up with was to invoke a split twin style rear wing minus traditional central mounting posts, in order to accomplish giving the racing cars closer following abilities. Yet I believe that the public’s response was so deafening(?) That have you noticed this design was never implemented! Although Formula One did give its Racecar’s an “Extreme Makeover” last year, to which some critics claim are ugly, yet I rather like these chassis simply for the fact that they’re devoid of the myriad of multiple “Add-ons,” i.e.; kick-ups, strakes, flip-ups, strakelets, barge boards, etc.

And they supposedly even have exposed exhaust pipes, thus is it the Swift proposal that has the exposed engine bay? And I’ll NOT even delve into the regressing to four cylinder turbocharging, as my all time favourite engine pitch is the long abandoned 2.65 liter turbocharged V-8! (Can you say CART?)

So why’ll I’m all in favour of introducing a new Indy Car chassis, lets not lose track of what got us where we are today, as in what are our core values? Do we wish to stay true to the nature, heritage and tradition of Open Wheel Racing? Or do we wish to push our beloved single seater series into the abyss? As I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, BUTT! It seems pretty clear that the Delta Wing simply denigrates all of the virtues of what an Open Wheel Racing Car should be!

Then again as George of Oil Pressure has noted as an unlikely offshoot of the Delta Wing’s unveiling, finally, at last… Both of us CART/Champ Car Crybabies ‘N Ovalheads (my words here) have finally found something to unite against… As in we DON’T want the Delta Wing! As I simply believe that I have NOT come across one single IRL/IndyCar Blogger who supports this ABOMINATION! As how can someone be so far off the market’s sweet spot, eh?

(Which kinda makes me feel somewhat sorry for Ben Bowlby… As I realize how hard it is to create something from scratch…)

So perhaps I won’t haveda bother watching IndyCar beginning in 2012?

One Positive about each Constructor

What was that Sir Mix Allot song about? Big Butts? Baby got Back? Oh Never Mind!

2010 Winter Olympics begin

The Winter Olympics begin today in Vancouver, BC, when the Opening ceremonies will take part in BC Place tonight, in one of the only DRY venues of the Winter Games, before the actual competition commences on Saturday, Feb 13 and runs thru Sunday, Feb 28, with the Closing ceremonies occurring later that same Sunday evening.

You can check out countless hours of Olympics television coverage upon the Peacock Network, a.k.a. NBC, now a proud? Member of the cable TV behemoth known as Comcast.

Yet I’m not terribly excited by these games which are just Up North Eh! From my hometown, as after all it was these very games which sealed the fate of a most enjoyable Temporary Street Circuit event once known as Molson Indy Vancouver… As was it really 20yrs ago that I attended the inaugural event; SHEISA!

And quick, without utilizing duh Google-monster, who was the races inaugural winner? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ENT! Times Up! As I know the answer… It was none other then then rising Star ‘lil Al, a.k.a. Al Unser Jr. As I still DON’T get it, as residents routinely BITCHED about the noise, although leaf blowers weren’t’ a nuisance… As this event was truly a Fan favourite, NOT to mention extremely popular with the CART Drivers, as those ‘Kuh-Nucks simply enjoy their Motor Racing, eh?

Ironically, although NO official reason was ever given, if you check out the locale of the Olympic Village, you’ll notice that its located adjacent to False Creek, which is where the Champ Cars used to pound ‘round at high speeds over the bumpy streets, and I believe that the monstrous complex will then be turned back over to the city of Vancouver to become luxury Condos after the games.

And I recall on ‘Juan ‘O my last treks to the race, after its traditional Labour Day date had been changed to early August instead… I recall there being a massive 3D Diorama model encased in Plexiglas depicting the cities plans for the new race venue/city complex, a la “Monn-nocquoe” (Monaco) replete with a Pit lane ‘Walkabout boulevard As the city seeked to make its version of Long Beach a reality, yet now its simply gonna be wall to wall sky rises instead.

So although I coulda gone, and will probably tune-in to duh Peacock to watch selected events, I’ll always be just a bit jaded… Since after all we’ve LOST two great Open Wheel Racing events here in the Pacific Northwest which the Blunderheads at IRL DON’T seem too inclined to do anything about replacing… As in seriously? You’re gonna continue to SNUB the major metropolitan markets of Vancouver, BC-Seattle-Portland? As even Californians were gladly attending Portland’s race after the cancellation of Laguna Seca. Oh Never Mind!

Now where’s Eddie the Eagle when Yuhs needs him, eh? Tuh-Duh! Like I couldn’t have planned this better as none ‘utter then duh USA Today has answered my questione..

Eagle’s spirits still soaring 22yrs later

Indy Car’s newest racer unveiled

Spirit of America

Swamp Rat 30

Delta Wing Indy Car concept

HOLY CRAPWAGONS BATMAN!

INDY: WE’VE GOT A PROBLEM!!!

As I totally agree with THE ‘DAWG, as in this is a totally UGLY Racecar and looks to me like its more suited for someplace called Bonneville instead of.. Uhm? I don’t know, what’s ‘Dat place called? Oh yeah, I think it’s known as the Brickyard…

And this is what ALL of duh FREAKIN’ Secrecy was over??? WTF! I woulda kept it secret too, as I think it’s a total DUD! As I’ll take any of the Swift or Dallara concepts, since I haven’t seen any Lola Spy-pics…

Then again, is this just another Red Herring in order to make us wanna stick with the tried ‘N true Indy Cars? And I still DON’T get it… why can’t we have more than one competing chassis/engine package, eh?

UPDATE
So le internets is awash with commentary upon the much ballyhooed unveiling of the Delta Wing Indy Car concept, which I’ve already noted my distaste for above.

Thus Oil Pressure’s story about the Junk formula seems well timed… While Pop Off valve has a most enlightening piece out, while I await The ‘G-Mann’s (16th and Georgetown) opinion, not to mention whether or not Mr. Earle, nee Jeffie of My Name is IRL will weigh in upon the matter…

Revolution Calling: Delta wing stirs controversy

The Junk formula

The Delta Wing thing arrives

And I DON’T wanna say the Fans DESPISE IT – BUTT! The absolute hideousness of the Delta Wing unveiling even got the wrath of long unheard Kuhnaidiun scribe Meesh’s attention, who so bluntly penned the following title,

Ode to the Penis Car

‘Nuff Said, eh?

New IndyCar CEO to rustle up more Competitors

Wasting little time in finding Citizen Tony’’s replacement; The Sisters George ‘N Mother Mary (Hey! May be they’ll be this year’s Fast Friday’s Headliners?) have gone ahead and hired ex-PBR (Nope, NOT Pabst Blue ribbon…) Professional Bull Riders CEO Randy Bernard, as apparently the 43yr old Coloradan is much more willing to take orders from the female Board Members, eh?

Yet, as Bernard has admitted he’s NEVER ever been to a Car Race, and he’ll have his work cut out for him, as by my latest count there’s only an almost Champ Carz-like (somewhat) paltry 23 entries… And that’s including the 2 Sarah Fisher Racing (SFR) Racecar’s along with the unknown whereabouts of the 2 Newman Haas Lanigan Racing (NHLR) entries…

And hey I’m NOT trying to stomp out the IZOD LUV-Fest parade… I’m just sayin’ if Graham “McDougal’s Boyz Done Good!” Rahal isn’t signed and Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay cannot secure a FULL season ride, then Indy; We’ve got a Problem!

The new boss would like a word with you

Tony’s Vision becomes stuck in Suspended Animation

(Citizen Tony; Source: Is it May Yet.com)

By now Y’all have heard the news that Vision Racing has Suspended Operations according to former IMS Lynchpin Anton Hulman "Tony" George… Who claims its one of the toughest decisions he’s had to make… (Yeah Right!)

And I’m not gonna go into the whole sorted mess, as Y’all may recall that I’m ‘Juan of ‘Dem Jaded Crybaby CART Diehards… (That ‘Juan’s for uze Mr. Defender…) As I’ll admit for years, along with the first few of this Award Winning Blogsite Tony G was affectionately known as ‘lil Napoleon, which in some aspects he will always be! As C’mon, you don’t walk into Mr. Steinbrenner’s Office and say Gimmee! Or perhaps tell Mr. Davis “You’re Fired!” Since your Raiders Suck…

No, I could spend countless (pointless) hours here poondin’ meeze nucels Bloody and NOT getting’ anywhere’s, eh? As I think I enjoyed Will’s take on the whole sublime He’s Gone shebang as the headline itself is priceless.

A Man without a Vision is Blah-blah-blah

And as a growing theme seaming to emerge upon the Blogosphere… I only feel sorry for those 16-22 Employees who stayed at Vision Racing to the bitter end; as yeah I know it’s technically NOT Dead, BUTT! Hey if tony cannot land a sponsor or keep his ‘lil ‘Ol racing team afloat, then?

Meanwhile George over at Oil Pressure has a pretty good outlook on the whole Tony G Debacle… Even if I have a few disagreements with his article; namely the part about Formula 1 rejects… As I fondly nicknamed Tony’s Roundy-round Sandbox the Indy Retirement League, as in where do CART Drivers go when they can’t cut the mustard, eh? (Can you say ‘Lil Al ‘N Mikey?)

Tony George’s Free Fall

And although I’ve never met her or interacted with whom THE ‘DAWG calls the Pr Goddess, a.k.a. Pat Caporali, she’s just one example of the carnage Messer George has inflicted.

As the Misses Caporali has had a most interesting Motorsports career,
Having Begun with Players/Forsythe and moved to TCGR before taking up a very short lived career as Director of Media Relations for CCWS… Remember them? As in Champ Car World Series, a move she made in late Twenty-Oh-Seven just months prior to Tony’s TAKEOVER, Err Mergification thingy…

Then fortunately a very brief spell at Kingdom Racing which Thank Gawd seems to be a fleeting memory before being invited to come aboard Tony’s V-Train Express full time in 2008 after helping out with Davey Hamilton’s third car I500 effort…

So I found it most ironic to finally hear Pat’s voice via Autosport Radio just weeks ago while Mr. George was outta the Country, Err that’s right he was off skiing with some other Bright, Shiny Faces while Pat towed the company line saying the lights are still on and the doors are still open at Vision Racing.

Yet even better yet, I especially enjoyed Edward “F-Bombs R-Us “Carpenter’s statement: “I DON’T know exactly what this means…” Whale Bubbah I think it means you’re outta a Fulltime gig in IndyCars, Yuh Think? (And Daddy’s taken away the keys to your Hot Rod Lincoln…)

But my how the Tide’s shifted as I actually sat screaming at the Telescreen GO ED! GO ED! GO ED! GO ED! GO ED! GO ED! In that Barnburner Ovalfest held in Kentucky last summer… I mean GEEZ! How many millions of us CART/Champ Car Diehards would ever be rooting for Tony G’s Indy Car Team to win… Especially against The Captain, a founding pillar of our be-LUV-ed racing series; even if he defected after seeing the writing on the wall… Which I blindly failed to acknowledge by continuing to support Cart and then Champ Car, as George notes, the reason Roger is so successful is because he runs everything as a Business!

So, NO! I absolutely have NO regrets/sympathy for Mr. George’s current state of affairs, as he’ll always be the instigator of Open Wheel Racing’s demise… As it really was a TAKEOVER and NOT a Merger, but then again, before you go off feeling too sorry for Tony, just remember that he was off swishing down the slopes in Austria with some dudes named Kevin Kalkhoven & Zak Brown… Which makes me wonder if he really was doing everything he could to land some potential sponsors for his race team? Or simply wiping his hands completely of any ties to his Sisty-Ugliers instead…


Thus will the Ovalheads simply pine for the good ‘Ol Tony George Dazes in the future like us CART-Ophiles dooze ‘bouts Open Wheel Racing? As perhaps tony’s successor can lasso some larger slice of the Motorsports pie instead, since the Tony George Era appears to finally be DEAD! Hmm? What’s that song; Ding dong the Witches Dead… Or is it I’ll get you my Pretty…

It’s gonna be alright!

Meanwhile if you’re not aware of the call to Arms by the bloggaratzi; as in Sgt. pressdog, James the G-Mann & His name is Earle to name a few… As they try to muster their cadre of respective IRL followers to lead the charge in Vision Racings resurrection. then you may wish to check out the following inquiry.

Help Wanted

Desert Car Auctions perturb Mother Earth

“Semi-Official Barret-Jackson Auction Pace-vehicle…”

So that contraption above may look somewhat familiar? As I believe it also saw duty at the Twenty-oh-Seven I500… Nah, it’s actually an Amphicar which I’ve scribbled ‘bout before in: Indy’s Newest Pace Car?

Whale (Thar She blows… R-R-R!) initially I’d hoped to have been attending my second Barrett-Jackson Hyper-fest Car Auction last week in the Valley of the Sun… Which fortunately I missed, as in case you didn’t know; there was a Humdinger of a Storm cell that blanketed Arizona & California. Thus, I missed the monstrous deluge of wet stuff that blanketed the Southwest, eh?

And perhaps since I wasn’t there, this is why I had very little enthusiasm to watch the 396hrs of live TV coverage on SPEED, or was it something to do with the excessive amounts ‘O Moohlah being whimsically discarded while others were perishing in Haiti…

Thus I can only deduce that Mother Earth was sending all of those would-be Car Collectors & Auctioneering Companies a potential message by unleashing itself upon the Scottsdale area, when it reeked its harshest havoc on Thursday when its Gale-force winds caused some major damage to Russo & Steele’s Auction.

Russo & Steele's auto auction gets major air

Now don’t misinterpret me here, as I certainly am glad that nobody was injured and feel somewhat sorry for the multiple automobile Owners who suffered damage to their vehicles… Butt I just wasn’t impressed that there seemed to be so little attention given to the plight of Haiti.

And it seems a little embarrassing that the OTHER Charities garnered more attention along with their respective vehicles grabbing higher donations, Err Auction prices… As C’mon Chrysler, Ford, GM & Toyota; you four major Auto manufacturers couldn’t come up with some special vehicles to promote relief to Haiti? As I only caught one vehicle being auctioned off for Haitian Relief by GM, which I think was for the American Red Cross and netted a final sales price of $200,000 in the final hour of “Super Saturday” nites action… So, perhaps the other Car Companies stepped in? But I still think they could have done a special commemorative vehicle and gotten more then a paltry $200k, eh?

And since Barrett-Jackson is primarily a Muscle-car-athon between what was once the Big 3 I suppose Toy-yoter is excused, although they coulda done some sorta cool Prototype vehicle which would have been a first...

Help Haiti - A Guide to Haiti Relief Funds

ICS prefers Nestle over Swiss Miss

J.P. Patches and Gertrude

So originally I wasn’t gonna Bite after hearing this ridiculous sound bite from the lips of Curty cavin in his IndyStar Colum, as the news seems extremely PATHETIC! As really Indy Car? You’re gonna keep a female competitor from racing in your down on entrants racing series because she’s never run an Oval… Tsk-Tsk!

So props to my Open Wheel compadres ‘CAM-WOW & Ryan for scribbling ‘bout this, as Matt chamois most correctly points out how Indy Cars NEGATIVE view of letting Atlantics Standout Simona De Silvestro not compete in the Indy Racing League REAKS of Politics…

As in its ‘Juan ‘O our Competitors series and we AIN’T havin’ NO Atlantics Piloto’s show-up our vaunted ‘Flinstone Indy Lites Drivers… By Gumm-it! You’ll go thru our Ladder to Indy or Else Simona; Kapishe! (And that goes for you to Mr. John Edwards)

OTAY! Those were my sentiments and NOT Matt’s… While Ryan took a more PC approach to De Silvestro’s SNUB!

Nay-Nay Indycar

Slight Setbacks for Simona

And I have to admit this is the very first article I’ve read from JP’s IndyCar Blog, of which I must admit that those initials make me think of a most legendary personality up here in the Pacific Northwest known as J.P. Patches… (But hey that’s a good thing JP; Hmm? That’s not Johnny Parsons is it?)

When Marty and Milka are Ready but Simona and John aren’t…

Which seems to sum up the whole You’re NOT Gonna race in our Premiere Series: DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT YOUR $200 until you properly participate in OUR Firestone Indy Lights series; Yuh Hear Simona? As JP points out how it might look a bit SAD if J.R. Hildebrand and ‘Bia (Ana Beatriz) cannot find rides in the Big Boyz while De Silvestro and Edwards are competing for the Bombardier Rookie of the Year: Can you say bombs Away?

And speaking of J.P. Patches… I’m wunderin’ if Brian I.H.J. Barnhart is perhaps auditioning for a cameo as Gertrude. Then again perhaps ‘Ol Braveheart uses his ICU812 TV Set to keep tabs on whoevers tryin’ to bust in on the IZOD Indy Car Party, eh?

I mean c’mon, if Milka-licious “N Marty “Geritol” Roth can be given the green light to race at the Speedway, then surely Simona deserves a crack without having to go thru this fowl smelling ‘DUNG HEAP Crackerjack-fest of NOT being Worthy, eh?

Then again how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-pop? Or goodness gracious me? Could I just be crying some more “O those Crocodile CART Tears… But I thought The Split was over and Tony G. won? As after all it wasn’t a TAKEOVER, it was a Merger.

HE-LL! I even had to Google ‘DannaCar to discover that she had a most LIMITED amount of Roundy-round racin’ before jumping to the Big Leagues… As in she began in Go Karts, then moved Across the Pond to compete in British Formula Ford & Vauxhall, then back to Star Mazda and Toyota Atlantics, with only the latter running in conjunction with CART, Err Champ Cars few remaining Ovals. And where’d that Mike Conway come from?

‘Nah, its gonna be Alright!

Will USF1 Team make the Grid?

New US F1 Team Racecar taking shape...

This past Sunday the Speed Freaks busted loose upon the US F1 Team’s woeful state of affairs, even going so far as to call it S.U. F1 Team; YOUCH! As Kenny Sergeant went off on how can they be called an U.S. Team if they’ve got a Foreign Owner and Foreign Drivers, along with a Foreign Base of Operations…

While the Stat Mann chimed in with the comments of how they’ve already missed 1 practice session (Dec. 1-3, 2009 Young Drivers Test; Jerez, Spain) along with having a British Owner and being a British Team...

And Crash said I don’t get it, as we’ve got plenty of Young Americans; like Conor Daly, Josef Newgarden and John Edwards to name a few.

As the Freaks made light of the fact that USF1 was gonna give it a Whirl at the ‘Barber’s, Err Barber Motorsports Park sometime in February – as I’ll admit: USF1 has done little to impress any of us to date, as The Sarge noted that his 1954 house’s bathroom has more High Technology gadgets in it then revealed upon Professor Steve Matchett’s exclusive ‘Walkabout on his RPM finale.

So let’s take a look at the facts, shall we? As in the FIA has given USF1 special dispensation to test Stateside before flying Across the Pond to join the rest of the F1 Circus, which makes sense to me, especially if the chassis is behind completion.

But to be fair NONE of the current thirteen Constructor’s cars have broken cover to date, with their respective Challengers turning wheels for the first time on Feb 1-3 at Valencia; while let’s NOT overlook the fact that there was something known as the FOTA-MAD MAX Mosley War occurring this summer, as we didn’t even know if there would be a series this year or not, which undoubtedly cut sizably into the New Teams design times.

Yet nobody seems to be making a stink over the fact that Virgin Racing will debut at Silverstone, with no word on Campos Meta, while Lotus’s new car won’t be unveiled until February 12th in London, before shakedown testing at Silverstone.

And we know the USF1 Team’s HQ, Design Office and Factory is based in the ex-Hall of Fame RASSCAR Shop down south in Charlotte, NC, while its European base of operations will be housed at Motorland Aragon Park in Alcañiz, Spain, which makes sense, especially with half of the racing season taking place in Europe, not to mention the two Spanish rounds.

Regarding the Squad’s missing of the December Young Driver’s Test; NONE of the four New Teams took part in this, as it was basically an excuse for the current Constructors to receive a little more test time, albeit in their 2009``racecar’s, which Team’s then simulated the increased Fuel loads required for 2010.

And while I agree its disappointing that most likely NO American Driver’s will be behind the keyboards in 2010, which was a large premise of the Team’s philosophy, it seems fairly understandable in Today’s economy, I mean HELL! Even Ryan Hunter-Reay, IZOD’s Poster boy can net a Fulltime drive in the Indy Car Series!

American Idols: F1 Style

Crash pointed out a few Up “n Comers, having left out J.R. Hildebrand, Alexander Rossi and US F1 Team “golden Boy” Jonathan Summerton; while there was NO mention of the fact that reputedly another of the New Teams Campos Meta 1 is having huge difficulties in wooing any Spanish Backers after having inked the legendary name of Senna as part of its Driver line-up, albeit being Ayrton’s nephew Bruno.

Nor the fact that Pedro De la Rosa, like other notable talent is being forced to bring suitcases ‘O Moohlah in order to secure a Formula One ride, as Nick Heidfeld and others scurry to find any available Dinero in order to gain one of the few remaining seats in F1.

But the Team does have Bernie Ferguson onboard as its Cosworth liaison, which should give the team a lift, since he previously worked for Kevin Kalkoven & Jerry Forsythe’s Company, nee Cosworth Engineering…

Yet I’ll admit that USF1’s website is less then stellar, with the House ‘O Windsor providing comedic relief with his vaunted Driver lists, but hey Kenny, the last time I checked, Ken Anderson is a U.S. Citizen, and they do have Chad Hurley’s checkbook to drain, so I think its gonna be alright…

Although I do indeed hope they carry their banner high and don’t flop, since they are after all representing the Stars ‘N Stripes I suppose. But let’s wait ‘N see what really happens, eh? As I wouldn’t find it overly surprising to see Jonathan Summerton named as Test/Reserve Driver while contesting the 2010 F2 Championship in preparations for a future seat fitting…

WindsorSpeak: USF1 going to the Barber

Otay this is a little bit late, especially since THE ‘DAWG has stole my thunder once again. Hmm? Perhaps I’ve been too busy laughing while watching that edgy video he included in his Pete Windsor piece that I swear looks a whole lot like something outta Animal House, but I digress…

Thus, as pressdog has dually noted, the House ‘O Windsor has once again cranked up his Dry Ice machine and chortled Smoke On! By proclaiming that not only will USF1 have a racecar this year, they’ll publicly debut it by touring Jeffie of My Name is IRL’s most favourite new Indy Car haunt: Barber Motorsports Park, (BMR) Y’all know down in Sweet Home Alabama…

USF1 Car to Debut at Barber in February

Of course this isn’t without the usual WindsorSpeak Spin: YAWN! As ‘Pete has gotten ahead of himself by announcing the Team’s intentions on no less than Formula 1.com, the Official Formula One website; prior to all of the ink drying upon the various contracts… Not to mention we’re still waitin’ to hear who the Drivers will be? But in Pete’s defense, notice that he says that it was the FIA who nominated the Barber venue, not to be cornfused with Barber’s chair, eh?

Alabama debut for US team’s first car

So don’t fret too much, as it’s gonna be alright! As yes-sir-ree Ray, Jay, Al, you can call me Bob… As Messer Pete claims that any day now, there’ll be a RALLY-RALLY-RALLY-BIG Announcement on just whom indeedie is gonna be their Drivers; can you say Lopez ‘N Rossiter?

But I do think that indeed there will really be a USF1 Team on the grid at Bahrain, even if in namesake only, while I’m looking forward to Declen eating his whale sautéed Koala Hat this spring!

SAAB’s Genie in a bottle?

So I found the recent news regarding one of GM’s SAAB bidders to be most intriguing… Even if it smacks of a most alarming Conflict of Interest to my thinking, when it was divulged that ‘Uncle Bernaughty & ‘Genii Capital were in cahoots in an attempt to purchase the forlorn Saab Automotive Company! As in a one Mr. Bernard Ecclestone & Gerard Lopez were hoping to scoop-up the Swedish Auto manufacturer for a song from ‘GOV’t MOTORS, Err General Motors, once the world’s Numero Uno Automobile producer, but I digress.

Reportedly GM, who’s (pathetically) tried divesting itself of its brands Hummer,Saturn and Vauxhall/ Opel along with killing off the Pontiac nameplate, initially spurned Dutch carmaker Spyker’s bid. Remember them? They were the parent company of that minnow-esqe Dutch orange Formula 1 Team that evolved into Force India… While GM balked on Spyker’s bid since their backing was to come from the “Rooskies!” As GM had also nixed its sale of Vauxhall/Opel to Canada’s Magna Group who was in bed with Smirbank of you guessed it! Mother Russia…

Yet GM thus extended the bidding window to last Thursday in order to quietly consider three/four potential offers for SAAB (depending on various news agencies) from Emperor Bernardo/G. Lopez, Spyker and other undivulged entities, albeit Alix Partners has been hired by GM in order to wind-down their much unloved Redheaded Step-child.

Bernie Ecclestone revs up for one final joyride

.and don’t get me wrong, as I think it would be great if SAAB was rescued, even better yet if by Bernie ‘N the Genie, since this could potentially lead to the Quirky Carmaker’s renaissance by Badge Engineering the Swede’s nameplate into F1 in the near future; say 2013 or so when Renault pulls the plug?

BUTT! If I were David Richards I think I’d be a little peeved about the cozy relationship Emperor Bernardo has cultivated for his personal gain while leaving the Englishman frozen outta the F1 landscape.

Then again perhaps Uncle Bernaughty could install the HMS Monogram (Flavio Briatore) as SAAB’s new CEO, since after all he’s a Free Agent once again, eh?

If Versus was Smart…

They’d have already inked a deal to air “Canned” versions of this year’s upcoming World Rally Championship (WRC) and be pluggin’ the HELL outta it during its daily airings of DAKAR highlights… As this is the perfect opportunity for Versus to capture a portion of SPEED TV’s viewership, albeit a most likely small portion… But nevertheless, with the advent of the REAL Iceman, nee Kimi Räikkönen, Err the “Kimsters” arrival in the WRC, having taken his “Oomphlat’s” with him to go ‘N play in the Dirt while possibly waiting for Mark Webber’s F1 contract to expire… Now comes word that American Ken Block will make series history by becoming the very first American to ever contest an entire WRC season aboard a Factory-backed Ford Fiesta Rally Car.

Ken Block sees bright rally future with Ford

Block, who’s previously been some ‘KRAZY CAT named Travis Pastrana’s teammate in Rally America, albeit in the Subaru “Works” Team, has interestingly failed to dethrone 4-time consecutive Champion Pastrana and now will seek to defeat Travis, while also running a Ford Fiesta in the Rally America series this year…

Thus with a little smarts by the Ford Motor company, (can you say Greenbacks?) along with some savvy marketing ‘HYPE from Versus, who knows, they could run WRC in a 90min format a la SPEED and cultivate a “Cult” following to their ‘lil ‘Ol television channel… I mean its not exactly like they’ve gotta worry ‘bout the TV Ratings, eh? And just think of how this would keep all of uze deprived IndyCar fans attracted to their channel whilst awaiting the long winter break, eh?

Just a thought…

Flav gets his revenge?

In case you haven’t heard, the French Tribunal de Grande Instance ruled on Tuesday that the FIA does NOT have the power to impose a “Lifetime Ban” upon Flavio Briatore, and thus overturned the World Motor Sport council’s (WMSC: The FIA’s Whipping Boyz) ruling against the illustrious ‘flavour Flav, of whom I enjoy grizzled F1 “Journo” Joe Saward’s non de plum better; as Mr. Saward has cleverly taken up calling the cocky Italian: HMS Monogram… Something to do about Flav’s swelled cranium and starched white shirts emblazoned with FB on the cuffs, eh?

And although the Tribunal de Grande Instance of Paris has issued its ruling in favour of Briatore and his Lt. General Pat Symonds, both having their respective bans overturned, along with requiring the FIA to announce in the pairs French Newspaper of choice, the court was none to sympathetic to the couples monetary demands, effectively awarding them one-tenth of the Dinero the duo were seeking; with Briatore being awarded $14,700 & Symonds $7,200, while leaving Jean Todt and the FIA pondering just exactly how they’ll respond to the overly egregious acts commiserated by the ex-Renault duo.

Flavio Briatore wins court case against FIA

Meanwhile the HMS Monogram, having seen a gust of salt breeze fluff up its sails, thus has reloaded its cannons as it prepares to volley the next round of salvos towards the HMS Self Righteous of sir maXXum, a.k.a. (MAD) Max Mosley and the HMS Piquet I & HMS Nielsen-Ho…

As Flav has joyously hinted upon taking legal action upon the Piquet’s and perhaps F1 Piloto’s Heikki Kovalainen & Lucas Di Grassi for jumping ship… Hmm? Mr. Briatore, I believe that Nelson Piquet Jr. could very easily go after you for slander, eh? (A very NASTY statement about his sexual preferences…)

Meanwhile Flavour Flav took no time in firmly planting his boot into Maxine’s backsides, upon the news that his current Supermodel wife (30yrs his junior), Elisabetta Gregoraci Is expecting the couples first baby (Flavio’s second child), by commenting they’d certainly NOT be naming it Max; Tsk, Tsk!

While I’m awaiting to hear prattle ‘bout its unknown who’ll be Spanking which Baby in the Briatore residence, eh?

But seriously, it seems the worst part of the whole ‘Crash-gate Scandal is the fact that Nelson Piquet Sr. first reported the situation to the FIA’s Technical Delegate Charlie Whiting a mere 5wks after it initially happened, you know; circa 2008! Oh, and by the way… Let’s not forget whose one of Flavio’s business partners, eh? Can you say Uncle Bernaughty?

DAKAR 2010: Time to play in the Dirt!

Err, perhaps that should be Sand, eh? As the Nations of Argentina ‘N Chile ring in the New Year with the 32nd running of the DAKAR… The world’s most intense long haul Rally, when the 184 motorcycles and quads, 136 cars and 52 trucks competing will be on display on January 1st during the event’s special Presentation Stage in Buenos Aires; as the prestigious “Car” Category victor’s will most likely come down to a shoot-out between what appears to be the only two factory backed Rally Raid squads: Defending Champions Volkswagen vs. BMW, while Robby Gordon’s Monster Hummer could be a Darkhorse? (6th Overall after Stage 1)

And by my very unofficial count… Hey you try reading 128 entries, eh? The vaunted Car class is quite an eclectic mix, with a menagerie of Cars, Pickem-Up Trucks, Buggies and SUV’s both large ‘n small… Why “HE-Double L!” There’s even a Mercedes Benz something-ruther taking’ part.

Thus, by rough count there’s four Factory BMW X3cc’s vs. five Factory VW Touareg’s. A total of three Hummer H3’s from the Robby Gordon Motorsport stable, with the third being driven by a South of the Border pairing, as the Chillie sponsored Hummer was runnin’ a bit too HOT-HOT-HOT! With a late stage incident causing minor damage to the windshield & mirror and ending up 39th overall.

Then there’s five “Mister Bitchies” (Mitsubishi) Racing Lancer’s, (the ex-Factory Cars?) Three/Four Nissan Pick-up’s, Ten+ Buggies, 13/14 Toyota Land Cruisers, (Huh? I thought they were outta production?) two Subaru Forester’s, Four Toyota RAV 4’s (some in 4X2 mode) Four Toyota FJ Cruisers, an interesting Mitsubishi Pajero Flex-Fuel ‘rig (Rally Car vehicle) and in P128 and last on Day 2 during Stage 1 of 16 was the No. 419 of Rafael Norberto Sanchez & Cristian Fernando Lusardi in the lone Hyundai Santa Fe nearly seven and a half minutes (7:23:13) adrift of Stage 1 leader Joan "Nani" Roma’s BMW X3cc. (Who did his best Hero to Zero impersonation the following day when he rolled his ‘Bimmer!)

Day Two’s Runner-up featured “El Matador” (Carlos Sainz) in his trusty Touareg, while lurking in third place was the King of the Desert; Nine time Dakar winner Stephane Peterhansel, who’s been hired to give BMW its best shot at overall glory.

Yet sadly, a 28yr old female spectator was killed along with four others being injured at the 75 kilometer’s mark, when a racing vehicle slid off course and struck the spectators in an “Out-of-bounds” non-permitted viewing area, becoming the Rally’s first spectator casualty in four years.

Meanwhile the Pajero Flex-Fuel entry is the Rally’s very first vehicle in the newly devised Ethanol class, being heavily(?) backed/promoted by Brasilia’s Ethanol industry… With no reports to rumours du jour that the Pajero Rally Car will be the Official Pace Car of the upcoming inaugural Sao Paolo IndyCar race… Hey I’m just guessing here, but Apex Bra-zillia plus Sucar-beets ‘N stuff; Yuhs know?

But I don’t know if Versus will once again cater to our wishes of providing a 30mins nightly recap this year or not? Since I couldn’t find anything on their annoying website, along with never getting an answer to my inquiry; alas, if anyone knows the answer to this, please leave me a comment…

Happy Freakin’ New Year!

Talk ‘bout ringin’ in the New Year in style… All I can say is: Yo Travis! You’re ‘Juan SIC Puppie!

So in case you haven’t heard yet? Last night Stuntman extraordinaire Travis Pastrana became the latest Daredevil to ring in the New Year in another mind-bending stunt put on by Deeter Majestic’s ‘lil ‘Ol Drinks Company better known as Red Bull… As the plan was for Travis to smash the existing Rally Car jump record of 171 feet set in 2006 by Rally America Teammate Ken Block, as apparently somebody had just beat Pastrana to his original goal of being first to jump 300 feet with a jump of 304’.

But Travis’s jump would be even more impressive as he planned to jump his Subaru Rally Car off of the Pine Street Pier over 250 feet onto an anchored barge in Rainbow Harbour in Long Beach, CA at midnight, eastern (Right-coast) time to ring in the 2010 New years in style!

In case you’ve never heard of the 26yr old Maryland native Travis Pastrana, he first burst into the limelight 10yrs ago at the newly minted X-Games, where he was stripped of his Gold medal and prize money for celebrating his accomplishment by jumping his motorcycle into the San Francisco Bay at the tender age of 15!

Yet Pastrana is no stranger to injury, having suffered 50+ broken bones in his career along with 20 concussions, not to mention separating his spine and being in a coma for three days; as you name it, he’s probably broken it! Along with two back operations he’s had his left knee surgically repaired nine times and his right knee six; as apparently Travis is after Lee Majors fictional 6 Million Dollar Man role, eh?

But back to the stunt at hand, which was part of the never ending cadre of wicked stunts as part of the now yearly Red bull No Limits New Years Eve show, as Travis decided to do something unique after last year’s mondo “Scooter” jump by Robbie Maddison. (Which I still think is the ‘SIC-EST!)

Pastrana & Co. took a Subaru WRX Sti and modified it to Rally Car specs, with an uprated turbo giving the Flat-4 cylinder “Lump” 400bhp in order to give Travis the needed “OOMPH!” to launch the 3,000lb “Sube-ah-Roo” off the 15 degree angled ramp at a speed of 92mph from a standing start of 1,000 feet from Shoreline Drive…

Funny enough! I haven’t watched any Stunt person Hi-Jinx on le Telescreen since sitting thru an overly “Slick” 2hr show one decade ago when Robbie Knievel successfully jumped the Grand Canyon 228 feet way back on May 20, 1999, albeit losing control of the bike on landing and suffering a broken leg in the harrowing feat…

So, ESPN’s 1hr show was a bit more palatable, albeit I got really SICK of the “Stick ‘N Ball” references… As I kept feeling like they were trying to DUMB IT DOWN for all of ‘dem Sports Fans who DON’T watch any Motor Racing activities… Although it was good to see Jamie little once again; even if she was part of the let’s HYPE the SHEISA outta this routine.

But first a little more on Travis, who I’d ahveda say is “Certified!” As in simply insanely CRAZY! As Travis was the first person to successfully complete a double back flip on a motorcycle at the 2006 X-Games, has jumped a motorcycle into the Grand Canyon – before parachuting to a safe landing… And the piece de la Resistance. Drumrool please… Tuh-duh! Jumped outta a perfectly safe Aeroplane WITHOUT a Parachute in order to be plucked from the sky by a fellow Jumper, as part of his zany TV show Nitro Circus…

And finally the hour of the jump had come, as just prior to Midnight ET the Subaru was fired up, and it sounded NASTY! With a sweet ARSE bark, as Travis teased the approx. 20,000 spectators with a few warm-up runs before it was finally GO-TIME! As I really liked the added reminder in the cockpit: Turn Air ON! As Travis’s Rally Car was fitted with an oxygen tank in case he hit the water at 6-G’s and needed to be pulled out by Frogmen, he’d have a ten minute supply of breatheable air, while further safety considerations included the deletion of his Rally America Navigator, with 120lbs of lead ballast inserted into the right-hand seat instead.

And then he was off! And TANK GAWD the Announcers SHUT-UP and let us just listen to that NASTY sounding Subaru accelerate down the pier and fly into the sky some 220+ feet before landing on a “Slick as Snot” ice rink of a landing ramp on the awaiting 240 foot Barge, as the night’s air dew had moistened the 40 foot wide landing ramp in the awaiting darkness… Before Travis pitched the WRX Sti sideways for an impact with the catch fence safety wall designed to arrest the hurtling Rally Car! As Pastrana triumphantly extricated himself from the vehicle, walked to the end of the ramp and did a back flip into the harbor… After having just unofficially jumped 274 feet which was shortly recognized as an official new record distance of 269 feet, besting the previous record by 98 feet!

So I guess it really does give you wings, eh?

So while the Mainstream media continues to Ballyhoo the SHEISA outta Jimmy Johnson’s 4-Peat in RASSCARLAND… And the Speed Freaks Stat Mann Caruthers picked Tanner “DRIFT-THIS” Foust as his Freak ‘O duh Year! I’m giving the nod to ‘TA (Travis Pastrana), also known as the “Wonder Kid” who NOT only has won four consecutive Rally America Titles, but jumped a ‘Freakin Sube-ah-Roo 269 feet OVER water in the pitch dark… So take ‘dat Jimmy!

SIC, TOTALLY SIC!

Rally-who?

So I’m guessing; HA-HA? That part of the Speed Freaks segment Sunday night with ESPN’s Terry Blount; Who simply snorted that NOBODY in America knows who Sebastian Loeb (or WRC) is… Was in part an attempt to wind-up the listening audience? As I have to admit it immediately got my goat… As I’m becoming quite tired of all of the glowing praises being given to “the Sarge,” NO! NOT Kenny Sergeant, but the other Sergeant who’s got a disgusting sponsorship deal with a branch of the Armed Services… As I will ALWAYS feel that there are two organizations whom should NOT be allowed to sponsor Motorsports, i.e.; Military and Religion! But I digress… As Terry Blount was aware of whom Travis Pestrona was… Yeah, he’s the current Rally America Champion, Bubbah!

And I guess I’m in the minority as I actually found the WRC races to be dare I say it? More exciting then F1 when they were time delayed broadcast upon SPEED. And I hazard a guess that they’d be watched next year with the Kimster’s arrival, eh?

But back to the Freeks broadcast, as the ‘Blountster was on the show to debate his yearly Top 10 Motorsport Driver’s choices, of which yielded four RASSCAR names, three Formula 1 drivers, two IndyCar Piloto’s and a lone ‘Straightliner choice.

Ranking the world's best 10 drivers

But Kudos to Statt Man Caruthers for bringing up Sebastian Loeb’s name, who after all is the MOST Dominant World Rally Championship Driver of ALL time, having just claimed his sixth consecutive WRC crown! And good job Terry, as the more I ponder it? The more I find it would be hard to come up with 10 drivers who’d make everyone happy, although I’d have to give ‘ZEBB (Sebastian Vettel) the nod over Webber, Mate! NOT to mention where’s The Doctor, eh?

F1 gains new points system for 2010

I have to say that this caught me by surprise… And my immediate response is why in the F%%KING HELL? As I think it makes a mockery of the Championship… Which made me feel a little bit better to learn that “Keith’s Crew” over at F1 fanatic felt pretty much the same, with less than one third of his Pollster’s thinking the change was an improvement?

FIA confirms new point scoring system in 2010

And I guess my biggest beef is the Historical impact, as how can one be impressed by the number of Championship Points one racks up in their respective Grand Prix career? As a win is now worth 2 ½ times as much as its been in the past, as I seem to recall there was much fanfare over the TERMINATOR, nee M. Schumacher’s eclipsing of 1,000 career points… Not to mention how it’ll be a boon for Drivers salaries, eh? As a long standing tradition has been to pay bonuses for each point scored by said Piloto during the season…

Oh Whale, I guess at least it’s BETTER then Uncle Bernaughty’s Gold Medal idea, eh?

F1 gets new point scoring system

Japan says Sayonara to Motorsports

As Y’all know, most likely from your Primary Schooling, today is “A Day of Infamy.” As countless reports tell us how the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour at 7:55AM Sunday morning, some 68 years ago…

Recently I received some flak for calling BMW AG’s decision to hastily withdraw from Formula 1 a Knee-jerk reaction, in lieu of our current economic climate… To which was some light weight 40mm AA Flak and I managed to avoid the ensuing shrapnel, but I digress…

As we’ve already learned, we’ve now had a total of three Auto manufacturers pull out of Formula 1 in the past twelve months, while Renault’s future is somewhat cloudy.

And as we all know, it was Honda who set the dominoes falling, as they simply couldn’t stomach being such a back marker anymore, while BMW suddenly decided to Quit after having one bad season, before Toyota decided it was also time to “Punt” as the red ink steadily flowed from Toyota’s books…

Having indeed decided to withdraw from Formula 1, they’ve (Toyota) just laid off a massive 500 employees from the Team’s Cologne HQ, leaving a staff of 150 for other various projects; perhaps an Hybrid “Sin-ergy” attack upon Du Circuit de la Sarthe?

Not to mention Japanese Rubber Giant Bridgestone withdrawing from Formula 1 at the end of the 2010 season, while Japanese Auto manufactures Mitsubishi, Subaru and Suzuki all walked away from the World of Rallying at the beginning of this year.

Yet my claim to BMW’s Knee-jerk reaction was made over the fact that BMW AG’s Board of Directors saw the perfect opportunity to cut costs on a suddenly losing proposition, since they’re still heavily advertising on Television, sponsoring Non-racing Sporting events and planning to compete in GT & WTCC Championships next year, along with the continuation of their Formula BMW Series…

While all of the above Japanese manufacturers with the exception of Mitsubishi also decided to “Save Face” by cancelling their poorly performing Motorsports activities under the guise of financial difficulties…

As let’s examine the following: Honda didn’t have a sponsor for two dreadful seasons under their “Planet earth” scheme, as they had a grand total of one victory during their third “Official” foray into Formula One. (BAR-Honda 2000-05; Honda F1 2006-08) Even being outperformed by the supposed “B” Team of “Super Best Friends,” (Super Aguri) not to mention their two race Ban for running illegal fuel tanks at the San Marino GP in 2005.

Meanwhile Toyota, who’s NEVER won a Grand Prix during its eight seasons in F1, was reputedly spending $500+ million per season, and having suffered the first ever Operating loss in the Companies 71yr history, upon reporting a $2.5 Billion loss in the winter of 2008, followed up by more losses, it decided the potential $150 million fine from failing to show-up for the 2010 Formula One season was far less expensive; (even including the 500 employees severance packages…) i.e.; ten times less then the projected budget to fulfill its Concorde obligations thru 2012. Yet notice how they’re still in RASSCAR, eh? ) Where they continue winning… As recall how Toyota bolted from the Indy Racing League after getting their ARSES kicked by rival Japanese auto manufacturer Honda)

And both Subaru and (especially) Suzuki have been getting their ARSES kicked in the World Rally Championship (WRC) by Sebastian Loeb in his Citroen for the past six seasons, while I’m guessing “Mr. Bitchy” (Mitsubishi) simply decided it was better to walk away from the DAKAR after multiple wins and facing increased pressure from Volkswagen, a la Audi who quit racing in the American Le Mans Series as there simply wasn’t any competition for them to compete against.

So, while yes, the Economy is at its WORST since the Great Depression, possibly worse since it’s a Global dilemma, I still suggest that these manufacturers simply walked away from the table in order to Save Face while trying to improve their bottom line, as after all, one of the first things cut during a Recession is Entertainment, which ultimately Motorsports is…

Another Racing Team Bites the Dust

Paul Tracy and Edmonton need your Help

Just finished listening to my second ever Planet IRL Podcast; the very first being with Crash Gladys a little while ago, as I’m ‘Juan ‘O duh Freaks who listens to them on a regular basis.

The new Podcast features a nice interview with Mr. Chrome Horn, a.k.a. Paul Tracy, also known as the Thrill from the West Hill; for all uze Hosers lookings to satisfy your PT “Fix,” this should due the trick, as Tracy answers all of the questions and still needs your input on his shout Out section of his Athlete Profile on Monster.com…

An interview with Paul Tracy

Also needing some assistance; “Get Over it Y’all Ovalheads!” Any Open Wheel Racing is a GOOD thing… The only thing better would be MORE IndyCar races on the calendar; including Portland!

But apparently there’s some grumblingsgoing on ‘bout the City’s lost revenue for holding the race, which reminds me sort of Cleveland… As I’d suggest the Citizens of Edmonton take a look at what Montreal just did… And overlook the financial costs, as Montreal was desperate to get the F1 race back for the chance to improve Tourism, along with all of the other financial rewards having a major Motor Race has; Hotels, Dining, Transportation, etc. Since once there gone… They very rarely come back!

It’s Andretti Autosport from Now-on

(Source: 16th & Georgetown.com)
“Where James claims that AA is going Chrome a la Mr. Chrome Horn – Paul Tracy!”

According to ‘Ye Blogosphere the AGR name change has occurred and is now officially known as Andretti Autosport, thus making way for the requisite announcements of the Danistar’s (Princess to AA) and Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay’s impending arrival to be declared; tuh-Duh!

Yet according to Jeffie of My Name is IRL, Mikey debated long ‘N hard over possible name replacements… As apparently Disney’s price was too high for Lady ‘N the Tramp… While other names pondered included:

Unofficial list of rejected names for AA

Three Men and a Little Lady

(If Only We Were Just A Little Bit Faster At) Racing- Bunnies & Rainbows Motorsports

The White Collar Comedy Tour

Michael Michael Motorcycle

The Anthony Fedele Motor Militia

Team Meeting
(Source: My Name is IRL)

Although I’d have preferred Mikey to go with my personal favourite; Michael Andretti Racing Systems or MARS! (Where I’m guessing TK may feel like this year’s season was spent upon?) Oh What a Feeling, Err Never Mind!

Meanwhile on a somewhat “Ha-Ha” more serious note, AA has announced that Tom Anderson, formerly of Fernandez Racing will join its operation as its Senior VP of Racing Operations, along with a few other Management announcements. As many will know that the wily Anderson was a Ganassi mainstay during its “4-Peat” in CART from 1996-99, when the “Cheepster” won the title four years in-a-row along with leading a Top Seven places sweep of the 2000 Indy 500 which saw Juan Pablo Montoya win the race on his first attempt…

Andretti Autosport adds Anderson to VP position

As for news upon Monday’s RALLY-RALLY-RALLY BIG! Princess Press Release you’ll need to search elsewhere among the bloggaratzi; as I for one am way MORE impressed with the news of Sarah fisher’s 2nd Annual food Drive, while apparently Daniker is busy selecting beanie’s for her long ballyhooed CAB debut…

SFR Announces 2nd Annual "12 Days of Christmas Food Drive"

Veterans Day - 2009

Imagine a time when it all began
In the dying days of a war
A weapon that would settle the score
Whoever found it first would be sure to do their worst
They always had before...

(Song Lyrics” RUSH: Manhattan Project - Power Windows, 1985)

At the south end of the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum’s Park is a giant flowing water fountain. This Fountain of Peace was created four decades ago in 1969 in order to give prayer to all of the people who perished in the second Atom Bomb dropping while vainly searching for water. At the base of the fountain is a black stone plaque with Lines from a poem carved into it. They were written by a girl named Sachiko Yamaguchi, who was nine at the time of the bombing,

It reads:
"I was thirsty beyond endurance. There was something oily on the surface of the water, but I wanted water so badly that I drank it just as it was."

Nagasaki Atom Bomb Park Photos

The New Regime
And thus we American’s celebrate our first Veteran’s Day under the guise of new leadership, as President Barack Obama follows in the nebulous footsteps of George W. Bush, as although we haven’t dropped any Atomic Bombs to date(?) Nevertheless Obama continues Bush’s legacy by continuing to fight two LOSING Wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, while preparing to increase the numbers of troops being sent to fight these USELESS Occupations!

And while I prefer to post my traditional Veteran’s Day’s thoughts which first began in my story Time Stands Still, this year I’m changing tact slightly, as something has been sticking in my craw ever since listening to the STUPID debate on Speed Freaks….

Spindrift
As sun goes down

On the western shore

The wind blows hard from the east

It whips the sand into a flying spindrift

As the sun goes down

On the western shore

It makes me feel uneasy

In the hot dry rasp of the devil winds

Who cares what a fool believes

(And) What am I supposed to say?

(Song Lyrics” RUSH; Spindrift – Snakes & Arrows; 2008)

So the debate in question on Speed Freaks revolved around whether or not Middle East money should be allowed to flow into the NHRA (National Hot Rod Association) and dare (I say it?) to potentially work its way into RASSCAR?

MidEast beyond Cleveland

As this “Hot Button” topic was centered around the fact that Larry Dixon currently drives for Alan Abi Racing in the NHRA’s Top fuel division, while another “Rail Jockey” Hillary Will ran Bahrain sponsorship on the side of her Top Fueler previously…

This comes on top of the current speculation that George Gillett is planning to sell a minority stake in Richard Petty Motorsports (RPM) to Saudi Prince Faisal bin Fahd bin Abdullah al-Saud as part of a package including Ownership in Gillett’s Liverpool Football Club; while reportedly the deal could include running a Richard Petty Driving Experience program at a NASCAR style venue yet to be built in the Desert.

And now speculation suggest that Bruton Smith of Speedway Motorsports Inc. (SMI) is pursuing an alliance with the Emir of Qatar, Sheik Hamad Bin Khalifa al-Thani regarding a massive Motorsports complex similar to SMI’s “Los Wage$” (Las Vegas) 1300 acre site, as Bruton claims a design is already completed and is separate to any of Gillett’s proposed racing venues, in which he hopes to have up to 14 NASCAR-style facilities operating in the future.

Thus business is truly open in the Gulf; along with the black tar spickets being open, the region is now diversifying into Motorsports with the just completed running of the Inaugural Abu Dabi Grand Prix, along with the Bahrain GP (both Formula 1 events) plus the annual MOTO GP night race held in Qatar.

And yet while some RASSCARHEADS are blathering’ on ‘bout how we cannot have ‘dem Saudi’s in our be-LUV-ed Roundy round series, (DAMN! Weeze alreadys gots ‘dem darn Toy-Yoter’s, yuhs here?) As they shouldn’t be allowed to cherry pick the best NHRA Teams and simply buy their way into motor racing…

Yet perhaps current racing teams wouldn’t be force to look outside the box for new financial backers (money streams) if Obama hadn’t just signed a $680 BILLION Pentagon budget into law in order to keep the United States entangled in two utterly USELESS conflicts, eh? As this is just a one year budget for Military spending which doesn’t include the countless Billions approved to fund the Occupations, nor the extra $44b given to Homeland Security, and these are just the reported “Black” budgets; SHEISA!

Since it’s reported that the cost of having just One Soldier for One year in Afghanistan could pay for twenty schools to be built there; so what are we fighting for?