Monday, August 14, 2017

HYDROS: Hot Air, Hazy Skies blanket Seattle over Seafair weekend...




Andrew Tate, who scored his first career win at Seattle last year, was third in season high points and the Sports' 2016 Rookie Of the Year. He subsequently won this year's Madison Regatta and looked to have won at Seafair again for a second year in-a-row before being handed a one minute penalty for hitting a buoy. 2016 Courier file photo by David Campbell.  (Image source: madisoncourier.com)
Uhm? What happened to those Bluest Skies You'll Ever See, Eh? As apparently Dudley Doo Right didn't approve of Smokey the Bear's newly minted U.S. Travel Visa documents to help extinguish the roaring Fires in British Columbia...


The Amazing lack 'O any reliable media coverage regarding Seattle's two premiere sporting events culminating Sunday, August 6th left me perplexed! Then again perhaps it's just a sign of the times of how little the onslaught of Amazonian Transplants here Don't give a Rat's Patooy!

Although in fairness to the NHRA's Northwest National's, I did skip over to it being shown on the main FOX TV Channel during the litany 'O commercials during the IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship event taking place at Road America, for which I tuned into since Thar weren't NO Freakin' live broadcast of the Unlimited Hydroplanes on Lake Washington.

As it was enjoyable seeing the new Daytona Prototype International (DPi_ classes first victory by somebody other than Cadillac! As Scotty Sharp's Extreme Speed Motorsports brace of Nissan Onroak DPi's finished 1-3, with the Brazilian Speedster Pipo Derani taking the Chequored Flag.

Yet I spent the day deliberating if I'd stay true to giving my local CBS TV Affiliate KIRO7 the middle finger over their pulling the plug on a six and-a-half decades plus tradition of airing the Seafair Hydroplanes race live in favour of a 90mins "Canned" evening Highlights package, which naturally clashed with my evening listening to Speed Freaks.

Against Thy better judgment I attempted clicking on the live streaming link to KIRO7 provided by H1 Unlimited late afternoon and was surprised that when I opened it, it simply began playing the end of the Boeing Air Show; EUREKA! I might actually get to listen to the Unlimiteds final and Speed Freaks uninterrupted.

thus I sat thru two support races, as Greg Hopp in a spirited duel with Dave Warren, won the GPW Final, appropriately driving the No. 12 festooned in Seattle Seahawks livery.

then funniest part of the entire weekend was the Tunnel Boats, nee West Coast US Formula 1 Power Boats, where the top two competitors of the 12-lap Enduro' competition, comprising of a course featuring five left turns and two rights saw the most comical ending!

As the race's leader, #62 Chris Fairchild inadvertently thought he'd won and stopped after passing the white flag, for which apparently he didn't heed the Ad Nausea reminders by the female broadcaster 'bout the white flag means there's one more lap to G-O!

Thus the second place driver reportedly from Minnesota, Ya Sure Yuh Betcha? won the race. As I believe it was the #36 driven by Eric Froncek, albeit the HORRIFIC US Formula 1 Powerboat Tour website claims his home city is Bay City, Michigan.

As I probably spent nearly an hour's time trying to find the results for Sunday's Seafair Support races, specifically the West Coast Formula Boats race, for which the Official US Formula 1 Powerboat Tour website only has 2016 information on it; WTF!

Whilst the live streaming announcers attempted some humour when proclaiming On Air that with the five to the five minute mark being moved four minutes, we'd be racing in fourteen minutes; Hya! But remember that delay to tow-in a stranded Formula 1 boat  On-course taking on water...

While it's an important portion of all boat races, the starting procedure for the day's three different series were unique to each other, with the H1 Unlimited Hydroplanes 5-minute "Milling" period being Uber' critical in determining who gets the most coveted inside lane one.

And the announcers did notice it and call out that the driver I was rootin' for, Andrew Tate in the U-9 Les Schwab Tires had clipped a buoy during this portion of the race.

As I believe it was the U-21 Albert Lee Appliance, having made major repairs in a week's time with Brian Perkins at its controls who'd been extremely close to Tate as they maneuvered for lane position.

Whilst I won't crack  any jokes 'bout Tate's vision being obscured by the Purple; Err Smoky Haze filled skies wafting down from Up North Eh! Being a factor to his mistake...

Also believe it was Perkins who got lane one, with the U-1 Miss HomeStreet of Jimmy Shane on his "Six" in lane two, as four boats ran side-by-side intoTurn-1 with the U-12 Graham Trucking on the outside and Tate's U-9 hiding in the middle between the roostertails!

It was a fantastic race, as Jimmy Shane opened up a sizeable lead, with Tate pulling into second place, having dispatched the others. And then Shane hit some rollers and the U-1 was flying high out of the water, reportedly some five feet airborne!

As Shane's U-1 Hull leapt out of the water again on the next lap, allowing Tate to pass him for the apparent victory on the final lap! And as the boats spooled down returning to the Stan Sayres docks, the audio cut out, the sound dropped mightily as the FUCKING 5 O'clock News with some soft Serve "Human Interest" story 'bout people enjoying Seafair abruptly cut in before we'd gotten to hear what should have been Andrew Tate's victory speech; SHEISA!

Yet wondering about that apparent buoy violation I waited 'N waited to see if I could ascertain anythingy' via my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service, since I still get much of my news thee 'Ol Fashioned way, via newspapers...

Hence, I vainly tried the Associated Press for Washington and The Seattle Times, since they're the only two local choices that provide 7 Days News coverage; Uhm, sort of, since they didn't feature any breaking news.

As I finally tried searching the H1 Unlimited official website around 8:34PM Pacific during one of Speed Freaks countless commercial breaks, but NOOOOOOOOO! Nothing posted yet.

Thus after the conclusion of Speed Freaks I simply tried Goggling' the World Wide Web thingy and was Cornfuzed when the Seattle Times Sports/Other Sports section Online only revealed that Tate had been indeed penalized some 15+ minutes afterwards, being assessed a One minute penalty which dropped him all the way to last place, P7 - with Jimmy Shane being declared the eventual winner.


As I'm NOT a Fan of The Seattle Times continuously blocking Online access with FUCKING Subscribe Now banners swallowing the entire page, whilst the NFB Newsline version is apparently Seattle Times-lite, since  it doesn't offer access to the entire Newspaper, especially the Sports section; URGH!

and the Tacoma News Tribune publishes it's news one day late with NO weekend service, while the Seattle Post Intelligencer is a Shell of itself, now just a pretty anemic Online only edition...

While lastly, as typical, the H1 Unlimited website just wrote about the outcome, but conveniently left  out the overly long Official's decision taking over 15mins, which surely left many Fans going home thinking the wrong boat had won.


While Shame  On You KIRO7 & CBS for pulling the Plug on live Hydroplanes coverage. As I hope those K-Tel Records Infomercials paid you handsomely! And I hope your coveted TV ratings for your 90mins Canned program SUCKED!

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